The grave was big and roomy, much more than that of the Royal Family's Tomb. The floor was beige ceramic. Dark, swirly patterns were carefully laid out along the floor and loose, sandstone bricks jutted out of the walls.

"Why does a gravekeeper have such an extravagant grave?" mused Link as he looked at a statue of a beetle, "I mean, the Royal Family had a titchy tomb compared to this thing!"

"I don't know..." replied Navi, thoughtfully, "but this looks like a museum of some kind to me. Look at all these paintings and statues!"

With that, the fairy began to fly over to the walls to gaze upon the framed canvases, all splashed with paint.

"Look at this woman! She's definitely not like anyone I know."

Link focused on Navi, who was flittering around a painting sheathed in a golden frame. From how his fairy worded it, he thought there was a real woman standing around in the gravekeeper's grave for a second.

The artistic creation was a woman, clearly posing to be painted, sitting on a wooden chair, facing 90° to the left of the perspective point with her smooth hands folded across the left armrest. She wore a green and brown robe and was growing brown-ginger hair that reached her shoulders. What was most eye-catching about the work of art was her smile. It looked like she was trying to hold her laughter in after seeing someone fall off their chair at a family gathering. Alternatively, she knew something Link didn't.

"Whoever she is, I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley!" said Link, a little disturbed by her smile.

Navi instantly began to turn red. "Link! That's not funny! That's the Mona Lisa from that parallel world! Someone has taken the time and effort to recreate it over here! This painting is worth tens of millions!"

"Tens of millions?" repeated Link, dumbstruck. How could a simple painting be worth so much? "How much?"

"About seventy five million, five hundred and eighty one thousand rupees!" answered Navi.

"That's a big number."

"It's art. Famous artists can make millions off a single painting."

"Wow..." breathed Link, "Well, I know what my job is going to be when everything blows over."

"Do you know just how long this took to finish? Apparently, four years! This stuff takes time!"

"Four years?"

"Yes, four years! Is there an echo in here? Let's just move on before we lose Dampé!"

"Hey, that guy's made up of fruit and vegetables!" observed Link, walking by a painting titled 'Summer'.

"No, silly! He's made up of paint!" chortled Navi. "Look at this statue! This one is of a man about to attack a giant! It's priceless! No amount of money can pay for it!"

Link tried to avoid looking at the rather... questionable statue Navi was focused on. It depicted a man, his hand against his chin, gazing off into the distance, but… he seemed to have forgotten his clothes. "Really? I thought he might be looking for a pair of trousers!"

"Link, this painting is prodigious! Just look at this tenebrism!" squeaked Navi, zipping around a picture that took up almost the entire wall. "This is the Night Watch gang moving out!"

"The Night Watch gang? Sounds like some kind of... superhero play with kids."

"Woah… This statue looks… important."

MIDAS.

That is what the inscription on the base of this statue said.

Midas. A very exotic and old sounding name.

The statue had one of it's hands missing, but no one had to look far because it was laying on the floor on its back, its fingers pointed in the air like a dead spider. The man himself was holding his handless arm outwards, as if his hand had just been lopped off by an enemy soldier. He was a very rich looking chap. His neck was wrapped in gold chains, trinkets and medals like a very arrogant soldier. He had a curly beard and swirling hair, plus a crown atop his head. He wore a drooping toga. In the hand he still had, he held a sceptre. His entire sculpture was made of a rough sandstone, sharply contrasting the other ones which were carved smoothly from marble.

"Who's this fella? Some sort of singer?" muttered Link as he raised his foot up towards the downed hand that lay before him to stand on it. It was already broken off, so he might as well use it to boost himself up a bit to see if he'd missed anything, right?

Navi felt a wave of shock, dread and stress crash into her like a tsunami as she saw what her companion was doing. Like a bullet, she darted down under Link's boot, forcing him to withdraw it. "Link, what do you think you're doing?" snapped Navi, strobing red, orange and yellow, "Haven't you heard the legends of this man? This statue could be dangerous!"

"Well, no. I haven't." answered her partner, confused as to how a simple statue could be so dangerous. "Who is this 'Midas' guy?"

"Midas was a king from a place in the other world called Greece. He got granted a wish for saving a drunken man, and he wished for his touch to become golden."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Link questioned. Intrigued, his fingers itched to grab a nearby rock and place it on the broken hand.

"What do you think? Anything he touched turned to gold!"

"But how would he eat? You can't shovel in food if it turns to gold because it would break your teeth!"

"Exactly." replied Navi. To illustrate her point, she remembered what made her proud of Link, allowing her to turn gold. "Anything he touched, gold. Even his food. Even his daughter."

"Oh, no!" breathed Link, enraptured.

"Oh, yes! He accidentally turned his daughter into a replica of Din! Or Farore… or Nayru… One of them, anyway."

"So this statue..."

"Yes. It might turn you into a rather expensive statue and we don't want that, do we?"

"No, no we don't."

Trying to take his mind off how he almost stepped to his death, Link turned his head and noticed a stone tablet, embedded in the statue's stomach.

"Make the dull key sparkle with my touch

and then the way can be opened."

He then looked to the right of the statue. Embedded in the wall was a push-up door, bound with chains. An extravagant lock shone like the sun in the middle.

"Navi, look over there." Link pointed over to the stone tablet and stepped away from the hand, prompting Navi to fly over to inspect it. As she mumbled the words at whizzspeed, she let out a confused growl, looked up at the medals around the statue's neck and flew back over to Link. "Link, look up there! The statue's neck!"

Craning his own neck upwards, Link looked up at the statue's head. "What is it? What do you see?"

"The key! A rusty old key! Around his neck!" replied Navi, chirping away. Without having to be asked, she flew up to Midas' neck, grabbed the key and began tugging as hard as she could. Her little arms felt like they were about to snap off almost immediately. She turned red with exertion as she pulled on the key as hard as possible but try as she might, it was staying put. "I can't take this off!" she groaned, almost emitting smoke at this point, "If this were any tighter, it would chop his head off!"

"I'll get it! I'm coming up there!" announced Link, calling up to her as he approached Midas before jumping and grabbing onto the rough sandstone of the statue. He dug his nails into the little perforations that were present in the statue and, just like how he climbed trees back in the forest.

"Careful, Link! Don't fall onto the hand!"

"Thank you, Navi, that's JUST what I wanted to hear(!)"

"I'm just trying to help!"

What seemed like a full two minutes later, Link reached the neck of Midas and reached the dangling key. With one sharp tug, the string had snapped, releasing a cloud of sandstone dust into the air. "Good going, Link!"

Link slid down the body of the statue, key in hand, making sure to avoid stepping on the disembodied hand trap on the floor. "Make the dull key sparkle with his touch..." recited Link, sliding the remaining string off of the key. Hesitantly, he reached down towards the hand, his own one shaking like a hatchling.

Would this work?

"Link, whatever you do, don't touch the hand while you're putting it down or picking it back up. Be as careful as you can!" Navi ordered as Link's quivering hand finally dropped the key. With a CHINK, it landed on the hand, bouncing and twirling in the air.

It was like it had just been dropped in the river Pactolus. Like ice solidifying around it, the bottom began to turn golden. The once-rusty key slowly became very valuable as gold began to creep up it. After the slithering noise finished, the key was smooth and solid gold. Only when it had completely stopped making any noises did Link dare reach out for it.

The very edges of his fingers touched the key before he quickly winced and withdrew his hand. If the key had turned to gold, would touching the key now spread it?

Like he was searching for a wasp that had just crawled into his gauntlet, Link quickly searched over his gauntlet for any sign of gold. "Am I good, Navi?"

"That key finished turning to gold ages ago! It's safe to pick up!" replied the fairy, placing her hands on her hips. Rolling his eyes, Link tried once more.

Once again, Link reached out slowly and touched the ring of the key with his fingertips. His head shone with sweat as he nervously began to pull it up. No gold sneaked up his fingers.

Eventually, the key came free from the hand and met with Link's. "I bet now this key will open that door over there."

Holding his breath, half from hope and half from the musty stench of the statue, Link inserted the golden key into the lock and turned it.

CLICK, CLICK. CLATTER!

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!"

The lock fell off the chains and onto Link's foot. With a pained hiss, he hopped up and down, holding his boot as Navi giggled in laughter.

"Zip your lip! That's not funny!" hissed Link, glaring at the pink Navi. After a small cough of embarrassment, she settled down.

"Sorry. Let's just move on, shall we?"

"Lets."

CLANG! RUMMMMBLE! SLAM!

Link placed his hands under the door, threw it upwards and ran through it just as it came ramming back down. He had made it. This was the end.

He was in a pretty, ornate room that had a red carpet rolling up to a dais. Sitting proudly atop the dais was a gold-rimmed treasure chest.

Whoowhoowhoowhoowhoowhooooosh!

Spinning like a top, Dampé materialised into view. "Congratulations, laddie!" he laughed, his gravelly voice rattling in sync with his lantern. "You've solved the puzzle of the Great King Midas! As a reward, I shall grant you my treasure! It's called the Hookshot! You pull the trigger on the handle and a chain shoots out of it! Boing! Yahoo! Boing! Yahoo! Boing! Yahoo!"

Link and Navi exchanged glances as the ghostly gravekeeper mimed himself using the Hookshot. He held his hairy arm out, pretended to press a button and began making strange noises with his mouth.

"Buzzzzzzzzzz! Chikachikachikachikachicka!"

As he realised what he was doing, the ghost turned red and cleared his throat. "I live here right now, so feel free to come back and look at my fine art at any time! One more thing. Be careful on your way out! There's a guy running a windmill out there, and the platform you dismount on spins around like a pinwheel Watch your step!"

Letting one more ghostly laugh out, Dampé vanished in scraps of brown cloth. The light of his lantern faded out further.

and further.

and further.

until it was gone.

"A stretching, shrinking keepsake..." recited Navi, looking at the treasure chest ahead.

"A Hookshot." muttered Link, scratching his ear, "Boing. Yahoo. Buzzzzzzzzzz. Chikachikachikachikachicka."

"What?"

"Oh! Never mind!"

Blushing with embarrassment, Link kicked the chest open, almost breaking off the top half.

There it was. The Hookshot!

From the spike on the end and the trigger handle, it looked more like a weapon than a navigation tool. Its chain was presumably wrapped up inside the metal tube, which was dancing with silver curlicues.

"Let's see how this thingy works then..." Link carefully grabbed the Hookshot by its handle, which was curving so the user had somewhere to put their fingers.

"Are you sure this is safe?" asked Navi as Link gave the trigger a gentle squeeze to start off.

Nothing.

"Yes, I'm sure it's fine. He wouldn't have given it to me if it wasn't safe."

CLICK!

A sudden jolt caused Link's arm to fly back, almost bashing himself in the face. Like a pouncing cobra, the spike shot out of its place on a chain as the sounds of metal rattling rang in his ears.

CHIKKACHIKKACHIKKACHIKKACHIKKACHIKKA!

Then, with no stopping or slackness, the chain immediately started retracting, clacking back into place.

"This thing's gonna have me knock one of my bloomin' teeth out!" grumbled Link, angrily jamming the Hookshot into his bag with no hesitation. "I'm surprised I didn't break my arm with that recoil!"

As he fell silent… Navi started listening in the direction of a hallway which lead up a set of stairs.

Dee dee deeeeee, dee dee deeeeee, deeeeee dee dee dee dee dee deeeeee…

"Link, do you hear musicover there?" buzzed Navi. Link focused his ears. Through the sounds of whirring cogs of the spinning windmill, he could hear it.

Seriously, if it's "You Spin Me Round Like A Record", I'm out of here.

"Dampé said that there's a man that runs the windmill, but… he wouldn't end his grave in a public place like that, would he?" mused Link, listening to the music up ahead. It was all he could think about as he walked through the door and up the stairs.

- Was it a parrot that was just really good at imitation?

- Did the grave really come out at The World's End and everyone was just having a bit of a shindig?

- Was the music just a really catchy song stuck in his head?

- Did Navi have some kind of sound playback ability and was toying with him?

- Was this one of Dampé's tricks?

- Was he about to walk into a new opera house and end up onstage, where he would get lumped into playing 'Bottom' in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'?

Clatter clatter clatter clatter clatter clatter...

Dee dee deeeeee, dee dee deeeeee, deeeeee dee dee dee dee dee deeeeee…

Link crested the top step and almost groaned. Dampé was telling the truth.

"Who in their right mind would have their grave empty out into a public place? That's just asking for some kid to come wondering in!"

Just as the old gravekeeper had said, his grave extended all the way out into the village windmill. The walls seemed to be made of white, chalky bricks while the floor was considerably darker. Ropes hung from the ceiling and bags of flour, wheat and other supplies were stored on the west side of the room.

Confused as an averagely IQ'ed person in a Maths exam, Link stepped to the edge of the platform, turned and descended the little wooden ladder that went down to the floor. As he landed, he was almost swept straight to the floor by a revolving turntable. This turntable spun the blades for the entire windmill.

The music got louder and louder as Link spun on the turntable. As the volume rose, so did the anger in the song. It sounded like someone was forcefully playing an accordion. "Link!" cried Navi, flying in circles to keep up with her spinning partner, "Look! There's a man over there!"

Navi pointed over to the side of the room. Link followed her eyes. There, at the end of a little boardwalk off the side of the spinning turntable, was a bald man wearing a teal shirt and dark blue, torn shorts. He carried a strange instrument that resembled a musical turntable, but it had a large funnel that spun around and around as he turned the handle on the side.

"Go around… go around… go around… I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS INFERNAL SONG!"

"Calm down!" replied Link as he stepped off of the turntable and approached the man. "Why can't you just stop playing the song?

The man looked like he was about to explode. "CALM DOWN? THIS SONG HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY NUT FOR YEARS! It's all that ocarina kid's fault!"

"Ocarina kid?" repeated Navi. The colour all drained from her as she looked at Link, then the Ocarina of Time attached to his belt.

"Yes, that pesky ocarina kid! He looked just like you, so he did! He had the same hat, same clothes, same colour! You look just like him! He came in here, played this song and IT MADE SUCH A STORM THAT IT MADE THIS WINDMILL GO HAYWIRE AND DROWN THE WELL!"

Link's mind slowly stopped paying attention to all this ranting. It was hurting his head. Maybe it was just the fact that he had apparently already been here, despite remembering every second of his first visit to Kakariko Village as a child and never having any memories of this mill. Instead, he stopped breaking his brain and focused on the song the man was trapped into playing.

A whimsical fairground tune. Just listening to it for half a second would get it stuck in your head for years and years and years. It sounded like it would be played at every kid's birthday party throughout the entire world. In other words, it was this world's version of "The Birdie Song".

"That song can make storms when you play it on the Ocarina of Time?" gathered Link as he slowly reached for his instrument. The fact that the man was playing this song on his… instrument and it was doing nothing, yet a kid with the exact same kind of ocarina as him, maybe even THE Ocarina of Time, was able to make a monsoon out of it gave him that impression. Listening carefully to the notes the owner was playing, he played along to it.

Dee dee deeeeee, dee dee deeeeee, deeeeee dee dee dee dee dee deeeeee…

KABOOM!

A massive explosion stopped both Link and the proprietor in their tracks. Navi squeaked and popped up, flashing a variety of bright, shocked colours.

Drip…

"Navi, can you feel that?" whispered Link to Navi, reaching his hand up and into the air to confirm if he had really just felt…

Plip…

rain indoors. He could feel rain, even though he was inside.

Plipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplopplipplop…

Within seconds, it had gone from… maybe a leak in the ceiling, to A MASSIVE TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR OF RAIN INDOORS.

All the liquid seemed to put a spanner in the works of the windmill, as the turntable started to spin faster.

and faster.

and faster.

and faster.

and faster.

It kept on coming and coming and the wheel spun faster and faster. At a rate of knots, it was going like the absolute clappers.

"Oh no! Another storm!" gasped the man, frantically turning the handle on his instrument to compensate for the speed of the windmill. If it wasn't raining, his instrument would have definitely caught fire. "You played that ocarina again, didn't you! GRRRRRRRRR! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Red in the face, steam pouring out of his ears, the man began stomping towards Link and Navi, brandishing a fist. Stepping back in alarm, Link stumbled on the lip of the turntable and toppled onto it. The sheer speed of the machine whirled Link around 90° to the direction of the door before he flew off, crashing straight out the door and back into Kakariko Village.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

Quote of the Day:

"I think there's an artist hidden at the bottom of every single one of us."