Title: Make it Without You
Category: TV Shows » Once Upon A Time
Author: Alwaysbringback-up
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M (for language and sexual themes)
Genre: Angst/General
Make it Without You
Pairing: SwanQueen
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the OUAT universe. All characters belong to Adam and Eddie, the show's creators. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.
A/N: Hey, guys. I feel like I've let a lot of you down. I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to continue this. I just sort of lost my inspiration somewhere along the way. I've been working a regular job now, so that kind of sucked all of my thoughts and energy away from my writing. However, a miracle happened about a week ago. I got my motivation back. I started dabbling and writing, and I'm happy to announce that .back! Woohoo! So enjoy this little gem, specially on me!
Happy reading!
And as always, thank you to all of you for your love and support!
Saturday, November 7, 2015, 10:16a.m.
The Charming's Loft, Storybrooke, Maine
Emma who was dozing in the front seat, was jolted awake as Charming's pick-up came to a gentle stop outside of the Charming's loft. She'd been sleeping soundly, and having a very vivid dream, in fact, but was forced to let it go in exchange for something much less desirable. Cold, hard, reality. A gentle sigh escaped her lips as she straightened up in the front seat, but the sound quickly turned to a groan of pain as she engaged muscles that were better left alone at the moment. Never had she had a better incentive to keep better posture, than she had right now. Slouching was doing terrible things for the wound still taking up residence in her right side. Emma reached up to her face, as she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes. Slowly, incrementally, Emma moved back into the world of the living.
"We're here," Charming announced with a dapper smile. "You must be so relieved to be home. I, for one, have had enough experiences with hospitals to last a lifetime," Charming babbled, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Emma wasn't really listening. Sure, it was nice to be home, but Emma would have liked to be alone in the comfort of her own home just as much. Especially because Emma knew just how overbearing her mother could be. While caring for Emma, Snow was always far too concerned with Emma's comfort to be considered healthy. Emma just wanted rest. All she wanted was uninterrupted, rapturous sleep, the kind that she had too little of, nowadays.
Emma was jolted out of her muddled thoughts, when Charming opened the driver's side door and stepped out of the cruiser. She looked up into the rearview mirror just in time to catch his reflection jogging around the back of the pick up to her door. Before she had much time to situate herself, the passenger side door was opening. Charming started reaching inside to disengage the seatbelt, but Emma stopped him with a gentle touch and a sad smile.
"I've got it," Emma told him, as she reached over her own body to the release. She bit back a moan as the pain in her side momentarily flared. But she grit her teeth together and bore it well. Charming didn't seem to catch the noise and he was standing right there, at her side. She heard a click as the seatbelt disengaged and she was freed from the restraint. Slowly, she reached up to the handle above the door, and started pulling herself out of the car, using her right arm. She felt the muscles in her bicep twitch a little in resistance with the action, but the muscles in her upper limb, held. They bore the strain that the muscles in her middle couldn't possibly handle at the moment, and Emma was just relieved that she had any strength at all. The feat was impressive, to say the least. And Emma knew that if anyone apart from her father had seen it, they would have agreed it was...downright impressive.
Charming still didn't seem to be getting the hint that she wanted to do this as independently as possible, because she still felt his hands on her, trying to ease her from the vehicle.
Emma couldn't stop the gasp from escaping her lips, as his hand pressed just a little too firmly over the suture. "Really, Dad," Emma told her father sternly, while trying to be appreciative and gentle at the same time, "I've got it. You-You can let go."
"You're sure?" he asked her, as he incrementally pulled his hands away (giving her ample time to protest if she really needed help), and stepped back. Emma let out a sigh of relief when her first foot touched the pavement and she was able to transfer some of her weight onto her lower limb.
Emma took the first deep breath she had in what felt like minutes now. She met her father's sheepish expression as she straightened up into a standing position.
"I'll get your bag from the back," Charming announced as he rushed to the tailgate, and pulled the thing open. It let out a loud groan, as the rusty metal hinges protested slightly against the action. But soon enough, Charming was slamming it shut again. He threw her bag over his shoulder and walked the few steps back to where Emma was standing, with her hands pressed against the side of the car for support.
"You okay, honey?" he asked worriedly as he took in her stiffened posture. Emma shook her head gently, admitting for the first time that she didn't quite feel okay. She still felt a bit out of sorts. She was dizzy at times, and in pain at others. The truth was, she never really felt like her old, strong self.
"Come on," he told her as he took her left hand in his, "Let's get you inside. It's okay for you to lean on me if you have to, okay? I promise I can handle it."
"God, Dad," Emma laughed, "You make me sound so weak."
"Never," he retorted earnestly as he met her eyes. His expression was oddly serious, as he kept his eyes locked on hers. "Emma, you have never been weak. Hell, if I'd been through half of what you had, I would have given up a long time ago."
"It's what I get," Emma sighed, as she tore her gaze from his in determination, and continued towards the front of the loft. But Charming stalled, coming to a sudden stop as the words sank in.
"What does that mean?" he asked her. "Emma, be honest with me for a minute, okay? All kidding set aside, what does that mean?"
"I wasn't joking," Emma told him. "I was saying that this…" Emma gestured to herself in a way that indicated her current condition "Is sort of my fault…so I guess I just better suck it up and bear it."
"Emma…"
"Look, I took a stupid risk," Emma told him. "I took a risk, and nearly died because of it. So now what I get, is to be in pain. And of course, I also get to experience the joy of being alone or whatever, because I've gotten so fucking good at pushing everybody I really care about away."
"Emma," David sighed, "What is this really about? What are you more upset about; the fact that you almost died, or the fact that Regina…"
"She can't fucking look at me!" Emma felt the words burst from her throat at the same moment a sob did. She felt her legs give out on her at the same moment. And would've fallen, had it not been for David's quick reflexes and tight hold. Emma felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment as tears seeped from her eyes and slid slowly down her cheeks. She stared at the concrete between her feet, too mortified to look her father in the eye.
"Emma," David gently lowered Emma to the concrete and knelt down in front of her. "Emma, look at me." Emma's eyes lifted as she felt David's fingertips brush away her tears. "She just needs time, okay? She knows it's not your fault…not really, but she needs time to deal with what happened…just like we all do."
"I tried so hard to push her away," Emma told him. "Why didn't I realize how much she really cared, when she didn't let me?"
"Because," David said wisely, "Sometimes we only see what we want to see." David took a deep breath, then said, "Come on, let's get you up…" David tugged her to her feet, and wrapped his arms around her in a gentle hug. He was afraid to apply too much pressure, but knew she needed the comfort the gesture provided. Emma squeezed her eyes shut and focused on the feeling of Charming's warm arms wrapped around her, and the solid and very real shield that his body provided from the penetrating cold. Emma's eyes opened as she heard tires crunch to a stop on the road behind Charming's pick-up. For a fraction of a moment, Emma convinced herself it was Regina's Mercedes she would find when she turned towards the sound. But when her head swiveled towards the street, she was immediately let down, as she saw Jake's BMW instead. She forced herself to smile as the door opened and he jumped out of the car, with a bouquet of flowers clutched in his hands.
"Hey there," he greeted, with a disarming smile and twinkling blue eyes that were shining with a certain amount of confidence.
Damn, why didn't this guy seem to get it? Hadn't she let him down enough times already? What was it with her and clingy types, anyways?
She hated herself, when she forced a smile onto her lips, and faced him like an old friend.
"Hey," she breathed, while wrapping her arms protectively around herself. Jake reached out in order to shake her father's hand respectfully.
"Hello again, sir," he greeted.
"Hi, Jake," he said in a welcoming manner. "How are you doing?"
"Good," Jake nodded, "Running late as always, but what else is new?" Jake joked as he turned back to address Emma once more.
"I'm sorry I missed you at the hospital," Jake told her apologetically, "I went to visit this morning, but they told me that you'd already been discharged."
"Yeah," Emma laughed, "Thank god! I don't think I could have borne that place for another minute."
"Well, in that case," Jake told her as he handed her the flowers, "I'm glad I found you here instead." Emma's eyes were torn away from Jake's blue steely gaze, by the opening of the front door. Snow came quickly scurrying down the walk towards them. If Emma knew one thing about her mother, it was that the pixie-haired brunette hated missing out on pleasantries.
"Jake!" she exclaimed with a warm beaming smile. "Well, what a surprise! It's so nice of you to stop by." Emma immediately had an inkling that something greater was at play here. Her mother had always been a terrible actress.
"Well, of course, ma'am," Jake said with a chuckle, "Even though it didn't really work out, I still care for your daughter very much."
"Jake…" Emma began, feeling somewhat guilty about hurting him so much.
"Emma," Jake cleared his throat, "Look, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty about what happened in New York, but…I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days. The possibility of losing you, knowing that I didn't put up a fight for you in the way that I should have…well, I feel…" Jake surprised her by dropping to his knee. "Emma," Jake swallowed over the sudden lump in his throat, "Would you do me the honor of going to the ball with me?"
"What the actual f-," Emma caught herself at the absolute last moment. She looked into Jake's expectant gaze, trying to get a read on what the hell was going on. Hadn't her and Jake's last parting been absolutely final?
"A little birdy told me that you didn't have a date to the ball and were feeling quite down about it," Jake told her. Emma tore her eyes from his and looked up at her father accusatorily. Charming gave a subtle shake of his head, assuring her that it hadn't been him. Then he jerked his neck, subtly enough to not be detected, but deliberately enough to indicate another participant. Emma's gaze slowly migrated from her father's gaze, in order to meet that of her mother's. And she suddenly knew as she met Snow's expectant expression, that this was a deliberate and premeditated ambush. Emma swallowed back sudden nausea as she looked back down at Jake, who was still kneeling patiently on the concrete.
"Emma?" he looked confused, hurt almost, and it wore down her resolve.
"Jake, I don't- I don't know," Emma stuttered with a quickly faltering expression.
"It doesn't have to mean anything," Jake hedged, "We can plan on going as friends if you need time to think about what you want."
"Okay. I guess I can live with that," Emma acquiesced. She was acutely aware that she hadn't heard a word from Regina since her visit more than three days ago. She wasn't sure if the brunette even wanted to be with her anymore. What could it possibly hurt, if she took Jake to the dance?
Jake beamed as Emma pulled him up from his knee. He held her hands softly in his. "I'm so glad that you've agreed to give me a chance to atone for my wrongs, Emma. I promise that you won't regret it."
"I need to be clear about one thing," Emma told him gently but assertively. "I'm still planning on going to New York. That hasn't changed."
"I understand," Jake nodded. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6:30,"
"I should really get inside," Emma told him, as a shiver worked its way through her body. "I'm quite cold, and more than a little tired."
Jake nodded and released his hold on Emma's hands. "Get some rest, Emma. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Have a good night," Emma bid him.
"You too," he told her with a bow. "Have a good night, Snow, Charming," he bid her parents as he quickly retreated to his car, satisfied that he'd achieved the desired outcome. He gave one final wave as he slipped into his car, and quickly turned over the ignition. The engine roared to life, and in no time at all, he was speeding away.
"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" Emma asked her mom, as she turned towards her, her eyes full of a certain fire. She felt like she'd been played, and it wasn't a good feeling. Not at all.
"What do you mean?!" Snow asked, her voice and expression all full of an innocence that Emma knew she lacked. Snow could be extremely cunning when she wanted to be. "Was anything I said to him untrue?"
"N-No," Emma stuttered, "But it..."
"Emma," Snow said the word condescendingly, as if she knew what was best for the blonde. "Look, you've got a date to the ball, honey. I just want you to be happy. So, why aren't you happier about this?"
"I am," Emma stressed the word, hoping desperately that she could fake that particular emotion well enough to convince her mom of it. "I am happy. It's just that all of that was more than a little humiliating, okay? I'm a grown woman. I can make my own decisions regarding my love life. I just don't want you to feel like you have to go out of your way to set me up with anyone."
"I don't feel obligated to do anything," Snow told her, reassuringly. "I wanted to do it. Emma, you seem to like Jake an awful lot. And I think that sometimes, when you're on the brink of finally getting everything you want, you self-sabotage. I'm just trying to help you, honey."
"I appreciate that, Mom," Emma smiled, forcing herself to swallow down her pride. "Thank you."
Sunday, November 8th, 2015; 7:02p.m.
Town Hall
Main St., Storybrooke, Maine
Regina's POV
"Regina," David spoke as he approached her cautiously, stepping slowly and gracefully towards the corner in which she now stood with a glass of champagne clutched in her elegantly gloved hand. She had a feeling that she would be hitting the drinking pretty hard this evening.
Regina paid Charming little mind, though it was hard for her to put him out of her mind completely, with his endless badgering. She had seen him making his way over towards her, ages ago. After all, his outfit was anything but subtle. He was in full Enchanted Forest costume, with a sword latched to his hip by a belt gilded in both gold and platinum. The only thing that seemed to be missing, was the crown he used to wear.
For once in her life, Regina had no idea what to do. She had idea how to approach the upsetting situation she currently found herself in. After all, there were no words to describe the pain she felt as she watched Emma stride up to the door arm in arm with a man she both respected and envied. It hadn't been an accident that she happened to be waiting by the doors when the blonde arrived. And so it was like a knife to her heart when she saw the way Jake lead Emma into the ballroom, with his face full of an affection and beaming confidence that Regina was sure she could never fully compete with.
As they walked in, Jake's hand had been gently pressed against the small of Emma's back, and it took everything in Regina to keep herself from forcefully wrenching his hand away.
And Emma. Oh god, Emma was a completely different matter.
To be honest, Regina was pretty sure that her heart had stopped briefly as she caught her first glimpse of Emma tonight. Her jaw had actually fallen open as her eyes took in the perfect off one shoulder emerald dress that left little to the imagination, while still appearing to be the very epitome of classiness. Regina had let her eyes hungrily rake over every place she knew she shouldn't be looking. In the back of her mind, she knew that Emma wanted her to look…to see. Emma had to want to drive Regina mad in some twisted way. And boy, did she.
Regina remembered feeling as if she might very well faint when her and Emma's eyes met for the first time this night. Regina could still feel the heat of wanting igniting in her very core, as Emma gave her a sultry, teasing smile. Regina can remember the sudden realization she'd come to, and the subsequent embarrassment flushing her face and body, as she realized that the blonde wasn't hers. Still, despite her best efforts to keep her feelings for the blonde, deep in the recesses of her mind, where it could not be touched, Regina still couldn't deny the fact that she wanted her. God, she wanted the blonde beauty so very badly.
Frankly, Regina was glad that someone else had distracted Jake, because otherwise the former Queen might have been sporting a black eye during the rest of the banquet. Emma's lean, muscular legs looked as if they went on forever in those shimmering silver high heels. The truth is, Regina had never seen anything so exquisite. Emma was positively radiant, her skin practically glowing, and Regina was not the only one who seemed to realize this. Countless others stared after the blonde wistfully. Regina still felt guilty for feeling like such an uncontrolled teenager driven by a pure, primal, unrestrained love and lust for the woman who had become her good friend.
Do ya?
Do you think about me?
And, do ya?
Do you feel the same way, babe?
And, do ya?
Do you remember how we felt?
'Cause I do
So listen to me, baby
Regina wondered how she'd come to be in this situation. For the past few days, Regina had gone out of her way to avoid her friend. The brunette wondered how she'd reached this own state of being. She just was. She existed, but she felt empty inside. Regina could only swallow over the painful lump in her throat as she thought about how much she wished she could be somewhere…anywhere else.
Regina felt the jealous burn in her heart, as her eyes darted back to the floor. She felt strange as she stared at the pale skinned beauty from across the room, watching as she twirled happily around the dance floor encircled tightly in Jake's arms. Emma looked positively stunning, and Regina had to remind herself to breathe as her eyes raked hungrily over every inch of her, as if she could survive solely on the sight of the blonde. Regina wondered if Emma could feel her eyes on her from across the room, because every so often she would look around searching the crowd for someone. Regina wasn't sure who it was the blonde was looking for. The chances were that it was Henry, that the blonde was looking after. A part of Regina hoped that it might be her that the blonde was looking for, but she couldn't let herself admit that it might actually be true. After all, she couldn't bear to let herself get her hopes up. Not when possibility of being let down seemed like it might very well kill Regina, and shatter her very soul.
A groan escaped from Regina's lips as she quickly gave up. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to slip into the fantasy.
She could practically hear Emma's moans and whimpers as she hiked up that hip hugging skirt of hers.
And I'm not trying to ruin your happiness,
But darling don't you know that,
I'm the only one for ya?
And I'm not trying to ruin your happiness, baby
But darling don't you know that,
I'm the only one, yeah?
Regina was torn from her fantasy by a touch that didn't belong. Her eyes opened slowly to find Charming standing close by.
"Regina," he sighed, "I've been looking for you all evening."
"Oh," Regina tried to sound cool and composed. But the truth was that she seemed to be running a thousand degrees at the moment. "And why would that be?"
"You mean you don't know?" he said uneasily. "Listen, Regina, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Emma came here with Jake this evening."
"Of course I know that, you idiot," Regina snapped. "I was waiting for her at the fucking doors!"
"Oh," Charming's mouth was working overtime as his mind struggled to catch up with this new information.
"Yeah," Regina chuckled, though the sound was full of nothing but pain, "Oh."
"Shit, Regina," Charming told her sincerely. "I-I'm so sorry. I should have tried to warn you. I can only imagine how it must've felt to…"
"You don't have to imagine," Regina told him seriously, as her voice became filled with a passion he hadn't heard in a long time, "Because I'll tell you exactly how it felt, David. I felt devastated… devastated and jealous as all hell. In fact, I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless just to make a fucking point! How dare he?! How dare he touch her like that?"
"Good," he said as he recognized the fight in her. He knew now that he was wrong to be afraid. Regina loved Emma, and she was willing to fight for her. He could see it now, clear as day. "You're angry. You should be angry. Use it!"
"You did this!" Regina said as she glared at him with a newfound, blazing hatred. He instantly took a step back as he saw the pain and hurt flare in Regina's eyes. It wasn't that he felt threatened. He knew that she would never hurt him. She loved him and appreciated how close they'd become too much for that. But it didn't stop him from being taken aback.
"No…No," Charming shook his head. "I swear on my life that I had nothing to do with it. You know that I would never intentionally hurt you like that, Regina. Look, Snow sort of went over my head. And by the time I realized what was happening, it was too late for me to do anything. Emma felt guilty about it all, and caved. She still very much wants to be what her mom wants her to be."
And, do ya?
Do you think about me at all?
And, do you
Do you feel the same way? Oh Tell me, babe
And, do ya?
Do you remember how we felt?
'Cause I do
So listen to me, now
Woah oh oh oh
"And so she would pretend? She would honestly pretend to want some guy just to please Snow?" Regina asked him. Then, Charming hit her with a reply so unexpected and shocking it felt like a punch to the gut.
"What do you think she was doing with Hook, Regina?" Charming asked, his eyes all full of knowledge. "Surely, you've realized by now that she didn't love him. Not really anyways. She just acted like she did, because I seemed to care about him like a son."
"W-What?!" the thought honestly had never occurred to Regina before.
"Emma told me not too long ago that she has been in love with you since Neverland," David revealed gently. Then he punctuated the importance of it by repeating the word, "Neverland, Regina! That fact leads me to only one conclusion. And that is that she didn't love Hook. Sure, she might have cared about him, but you already had possession of her heart."
"That- That idiot!" Regina hissed. "I could strangle her right now! Why would she tell you that, and not me? She- She never told me that!"
"I figured as much," Charming said. "Why do you think that I'm telling you?" Then. "For the love of god, Regina, please don't let this newfound information go to waste. My point in telling you all of this, is that Emma has had to lie to everyone for so long already. She deserves to be true to herself, for once. That's all I want. Look, I- I know that Snow and I differ on the best methods to achieve it, but all we really want is for our daughter to be happy. You make her happy, Regina. I know that might be a little hard to believe sometimes, but it's the truth."
Regina nodded, her mind silently starting to work overtime, as her eyes found the blonde in the crowd once again. Regina felt her heart stutter in her chest as Emma's bubbling laugh reverberated over the noise of the crowd.
Somebody said you got a new friend
Does he love you better than I can?
There's a big black sky over my town
I know where you're at, I bet he's around
"I'll leave you alone with your thoughts," he told her as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and then departed. "Good luck," she faintly heard his voice encourage her as he walked away.
And yeah, I know it's stupid
But I just gotta see it for myself
Regina swallowed, as she watched Jake pull Emma close in a daring gesture. Regina felt something unpleasant stir inside of her chest as Emma's eyes locked on his. The heat, and the excruciating pain of knowing that she was slowly losing the blonde to someone else, felt extremely raw, and it was hard to stomach. To be honest, it felt like she was being slowly gutted alive, and Regina could barely keep herself from taking action. As a consequence, her hand began squeezing so tightly around the flute of champagne that she was surprised the glass hadn't shattered yet. Slowly Jake pulled Emma closer, leaning down as if to take something that belonged to him. Regina was forced to tear her eyes away, as lips pressed together in a searing kiss. She couldn't… She just couldn't watch anymore. She was already fighting impulses of destruction. If she saw anymore, she might not be able to fight those impulses any longer. In the same moment, however, she hated tearing her eyes away from the beautiful woman that she loved.
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, oh oh oh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh oh oh
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the one you're taking home, ooh
I keep dancing on my own
Regina let out a sigh full of pain, as she took another sip of champagne.
"They make a wonderful couple, don't they?" a warm voice had Regina jumping. Her eyes shot open widely, as Snow stepped closer.
"Yeah," Regina muttered bitterly, hoping that Snow didn't pick up on her true feelings.
"I think there might be some wedding bells in the near future," Snow told her. And Regina had to hold back a growl.
"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself very much," Snow spoke in a gentle voice. "Have you been lurking in the corner this whole time?"
"Mmm," Regina hummed as she took another sip of her champagne, opting not to comment.
I just wanna dance all night
And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line, yeah
Stilettos and broken bottles
I'm spinning around in circles
And I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him, oh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the one you're taking home, ooh
I keep dancing on my own
And oh no
"Mom!" Henry blurted as he suddenly appeared, running an amusing sort of interference. "I've been looking for you!"
"Henry!" Snow gasped as she took in the sight of him. "Wow! Look at you! You look wonderful. Who would have known that you'd make such a gallant knight? And how did I not realize how very much you'd grown up, until just now?"
"Thanks," Henry said with a subtle bow. Regina nearly laughed, as her son blushed a deep shade of scarlet. Then he seemed to remember why he was there.
"Listen, Grandma," he said as he addressed her, "I'm sorry to interrupt, as I know that you were hoping to talk to my mom, but- but I really need her advice. It's about Violet. Do you think my mom and I could have a moment alone?"
"Sure," Snow nodded, spurred on by the respect he addressed her with. After all, how could you not be willing to grant someone what they asked for, when they articulated themselves so very well? "Of course, Henry, take all of the time that you need." And just like that, Snow was gone.
Regina let out a sigh of relief as she met her son's knowing expression.
"How did you know I needed rescuing?" Regina asked him, to which Henry's answer was only to laugh.
"Geez, mom, I could see your deer in the headlights look from halfway across the room," Henry finally told her. "You know, someone might think that you were losing your touch." Regina couldn't stop the laugh from escaping as she bumped shoulders with her son. She was so unbelievably happy that they could still be so close, after such a turbulent last year.
"Hush, you," Regina told him, although the mirth and laughter in her eyes was enough to tell him that she was joking. "Didn't I ever teach you to respect your elders?"
"Yes, ma'am," Henry replied with a mocking bow, and a knowing twinkle in his beautiful green eyes.
"So did you actually need some advice, or was that just some sort of cover?" Regina asked him.
"Just a cover," Henry replied. "Though I do have some advice to give to you."
"Oh, you do, do you?" Regina asked out of surprise, as she met her young prince's eyes.
"Yeah," Henry said daringly, before clearing his throat. He gathered as much courage as he could, and then spoke again. "Go ask Ma for a dance," Henry told her.
"Hen…" Regina started protesting.
"No!" he burst out in a heated whisper, his expression suddenly serious and impatient. "Just what is it that you are waiting for? How can you possibly stand here and watch her slip away from you like this? But most importantly, how could you possibly let her walk out of your life after everything she said."
"You heard?" Regina's eyes widened in horror.
"Yes," he told her. "And before you yell at me for eavesdropping, you should know that I wasn't trying to, okay? It was just sort of an accident." He swallowed. "And I have to say that I can't believe you. If someone had said to me, a tenth of what Ma said to you, there's no way in hell that I would have let her walk away. Hell, there's just no way I'd let her leave. Ever. So what on earth is the matter with you?"
"Have you forgotten who you're speaking to?" Regina asked him in surprise, as she struggled to take in what he was saying. He'd spoken a mile a minute, so she felt like she was still catching up with him. The truth is, she hadn't been prepared for his words at all. She knew that he was trying to help her, but his words hurt- they hurt in a way she couldn't possibly describe. And she reckoned that it hurt so damned much, because she knew he was right.
"No, of course not," he replied honestly. "Look, you're my mother, okay? And it's because of that, that I'm speaking to you like this. You forget. I- I know you, mom. And I know you better than anyone else, except for Emma. I know how afraid you are of putting yourself out there, but I'm here to tell you completely and unequivocally that you simply cannot let the best thing in your life walk out of it. Not like this. You deserve better than that. You simply cannot squander your true chance at happiness. I know that you're afraid, but you have to write your own story. You do want to, don't you?"
"Y-Yes," Regina exhaled, all too aware how the word quavered in her throat. "I do. I do want that. So much."
"Then go get her," Henry told her. "Go get her, mom!"
"Take this," Regina ordered Henry as she handed him her champagne. She caught him as he lifted the glass incrementally towards his lips. "And don't you dare drink so much as a single sip of that or I will eviscerate you. I don't care if you are my son. You will not touch booze until you are of drinking age or so help-".
"Okay…okay," Henry said as he slowly backed away. Then, they both spontaneously burst out into laughter.
"Okay," Regina laughed, relenting, "Maybe you could have just one."
"Really?" Henry looked genuinely surprised.
"Yeah," she gave a resolute nod. "I think you've earned it."
"Thanks. I love you, mom."
"And I love you, Henry, so so much," Regina told him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you for the pep talk." How had she not realized how much he'd grown up? She'd been so worried about raising him that she didn't realize that she already had. Her and Emma had raised a fine young man, and it made her heart feel like it was about to burst.
"Anytime," he said with a heart-warming smile. "Now go get your girl."
Regina straightened her dress, and took a shaking step towards the dance floor. For whatever reason, the first step is always the hardest. But once she was in motion, it was the easiest thing in the world. If anything, she had to keep herself from running towards her. She took one breath than another and another as she quickly closed the distance between them.
So far away, but still so near
The lights come up, the music dies
Regina came to a sudden stop as the song finished, and the quartet started to take up another. Then she started into motion again, and sped up her pace. As she grew nearer, she could hear Jake's warm voice speaking over the music. Emma was held tightly against him, her arm around his back, while Jake hunched forwards in order to talk directly into Emma's ear.
"So I was thinking," Regina overheard him speak, "What if we tried the long distance thing, after all?"
Emma seemed oblivious to the fact that they had an interloper. Regina couldn't bear to listen to another word. She instantly cleared her throat as loudly as possible, hoping against hope that she would catch the blonde's attention before Emma gave her reply. Thankfully, it worked. Emma's eyes shot open, and instantly flew to Regina's, without any sort of thought. Regina watched Emma suck in a deep breath, before the blonde suddenly jerked away from Jake as if she were suddenly repelled by him.
"Regina," Emma muttered breathlessly, as Emma addressed her.
"I'm sorry for interrupting," Regina replied, her voice full of a civility that she didn't remotely feel. What the hell was she doing, anyway? The Regina Mills that Emma knew and loved, didn't apologize, did she? She stood up for herself. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."
"Not at all," Jake replied, with a curt nod. "What can we do for you, Regina?"
"Actually, I was kind of hoping for a dance," Regina told him.
"Oh, of course…of course," he replied in a gentlemanly manner, as he turned to Emma, "Would you mind, Emma?"
Regina met Emma's eyes knowingly, and the blonde swallowed thickly.
"Actually, I was hoping for a dance with Emma," Regina told him, as her eyes remained on her lover's.
"Oh."
Regina couldn't keep herself from smiling as she registered the sound of surprise in Jake's voice. Well, she decided, if the buffoon still had no earthly idea about the relationship and the bond she shared with Emma, he was about to.
"Sure," he stated evenly and calmly. "I was feeling a bit thirsty anyways." He addressed Emma with a warm smile. "Have fun."
As he walked away, Regina couldn't stop herself from muttering an insult under her breath.
The smug bastard.
"Hi," Emma breathed with a shy smile, as she regarded Regina with a knowing look.
"Hi," Regina returned with a graceful bow. Emma's heart fluttered nervously as she took Regina in. She was all too aware that it was a bow, and not a curtsy that Regina had given her. "Would you do me the honor of a dance, Miss Swan?"
"Oh, please," Emma told her, as she stared back with a teasing smile, "Do tell me that we haven't gone back to those formalities. Or should I start calling you, your majesty?"
"For god's sakes, Emma," Regina shot back, her eyes and expression full of teasing affection, "We both know that you secretly love calling me by my former title."
"If I tell you why, will you promise not to think less of me?" Emma said, as she daringly pulled the brunette into her arms, and spun them around, as if they'd been dancing together forever and it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world.
"I would never think less of you," Regina husked in Emma's ear, as the blonde spun them around and around. She was all too aware of the shiver that this earned her, as the two of them moved effortlessly around the dance floor, avoiding the other couples. Regina could feel countless eyes on them, but she didn't care. "Emma, tell me that you know that. Tell me you know that I would never think less of-".
"But you do, don't you?" Emma asked her, as she met Regina's eyes properly. "Don't you think less of me for showing up here with him?"
"No," Regina answered honestly, her throat thick with emotions that she knew the blonde would understand. "Your father explained what happened. I understand that you felt compelled to say yes."
"I'm sorry if it hurt you," Emma told her sincerely as she held Regina's suddenly warm expressive brown eyes. "The last thing I would ever want is to hurt you, Regina."
"I won't say that it didn't hurt," Regina told her. "But none of that matters right now; Not when I'm here, dancing in your arms."
"I thought that when I didn't hear anything from you-"
"No," Regina's voice quavered on the word. Then she tried again, this time with a stronger voice, "No, Emma. Wherever your thoughts went, I can promise you that it wasn't anywhere remotely close to the truth. I was- I was trying to give you space. You said to take as long as I wanted."
"I did," Emma confirmed. But Regina could tell by the blonde's expression that the blonde hadn't really expected Regina to delay.
"Emma, that's the thing. The truth is, that I - I could've answered you that very moment," Regina said honestly, her eyes shimmering with tears, "I could have responded the very moment that those words passed from your lips." Emma let out a sated sigh and let her head drop to Regina's shoulder. "I knew then exactly what I wanted. Because it never changed. For the longest time, I've only wanted one thing, and that thing is you."
"God," Regina breathed, her voice a breathy sigh, "You look so beautiful tonight that you make my heart feel like it's about to beat it's way out of my chest. Tonight, when I first saw you…"
"Yeah?" Emma said with a knowing smile as she lifted her head from Regina's shoulder.
"Fuck, Emma, I could've taken you then," Regina confessed. "I wanted to...I still do."
"That good, huh?" Regina smacked Emma's shoulder.
"Since when have you gotten so smug?" Regina said. "Let me guess, it's because that bumbling oaf has been feeding your already massive ego."
"Shut up!" Emma said, as her throat opened in a laugh. "If anyone has a problem with ego, here, it's you."
"You take that back!" Regina threatened. "You take it back right now, Emma!" To which Emma's only response was boisterous laughter.
"Stop laughing," Regina ordered with another gentle smack to Emma's shoulder, "I'm seriously mad at you right now." Emma's only response was that her laughter increased in volume.
"At least I know that you're not thoroughly pissed at me, yet," Emma told her, "Because if you were, you would've called me Miss Swan, and not Emma." Then thoughtfully, she added. "Who would've ever thought at our first meeting that we would end up here, dancing and laughing together?"
"That was a strange night," Regina commented, "I was so relieved that Henry was home again that I don't think I ever appreciated how extraordinary you were…especially in my capacity to feel things for you."
"I wasn't talking about that night," Emma told her. "I was…I was actually talking about the Ball."
"What ball? The one in Camelot?" Regina questioned again.
"No," Emma's good mood seemed to deflate rapidly. "No, It was- I'm talking about the one in the Enchanted Forest, when Killian and I were sucked into Zelena's time portal."
"Oh, then I'm afraid that I-"
"Don't remember," Emma said in a near whisper, "Yeah, of course you wouldn't. I think it would've been close to thirty-five years ago for you now."
"Emma," Regina sighed, "Listen, I wish I did remember. I really wish that I-," Regina's voice cut off as the music did. She wasn't sure how the dance and the song had passed so quickly, but it had. Slowly, Emma pulled back, attempting to mask her emotions in a way that made Regina wish that she didn't.
"It's okay," Emma told her. "I don't even know what made me think of it to be honest, but I think it's still so fresh in my mind, because-," Emma shook her head, cutting herself off. "Nevermind," Emma said as she saw Jake approaching. "Thanks for the dance, Regina."
"Hey," Jake greeted the two of them, but Regina was stuck in her own little world.
"Hi," Emma greeted him. "I'm sorry, but I need to step out for a moment. I'll be right back." Regina felt coldness seep into her, as Emma's hand slid from her's. Regina's hand fell back to her side, feeling empty and cold. Regina looked after the blonde as she started weaving her way through the crowd, heading her way towards the main doors.
She wanted so desperately to remember what Emma was talking about, their first meeting. But- But how? There were so many memories to sift through, so many thoughts, and it was driving her mad. Why couldn't she? Why couldn't she remember the thing that meant so much to Emma? Then it hit her, in a way and manner that had her sucking in a sharp breath. Oh my god. Emma!
Regina started running after the blonde as fast as she possibly could in her heels. She nearly tripped several times, but she couldn't let the blonde get away. Not now. Finally, Regina spotted her in the crowd.
"Emma!" Regina shouted over the music and chatter just as she reached the blonde. She reached for Emma's hand and tugged it as she repeated the blonde's name, the sound all full of desperation. "Emma, wait!" And Regina pulled as hard as she could. Emma spun around so quickly that Regina was sure that she would have fallen, had Regina not been there to direct her movements. The blonde gasped in surprise as lips collided, and Emma's eyes fluttered closed. She was all too aware of the feeling of Regina's lips on hers, and the warmth that spread through her very soul with the single touch. Regina released Emma's hand, in favor of threading her fingers through the blonde's hair. All she could hear was the sounds of their labored breaths as they moved together, against each other, and back. Eyes fluttered open and closed in what could only be described as ecstasy, as they drowned in feelings that had built over so long. Feelings that were overwhelming and mesmerizing, because of the sheer depth of them. And they finally let themselves feel it purely, unabashedly. They laid it out there for all to see. And boy, did they see!
"Emma!" A shout from the crowd broke them out of their reverie. Emma's eyes opened in a panic, as the sound of Snow's hysterical shout reached them for the first time. It was only when Regina opened her eyes for the first time that she realized why everything had seemed so silent. The music had stopped- everything had just stopped. It was why it had been so easy for them to get lost in their own world. Somehow, every eye in the ballroom was now on them.
"I remember," Regina told Emma, desperately, as tears seeped from her eyes. "Emma, I- I remember."
"Emma," Emma suddenly felt herself being pulled in two different directions, as Snow's accusatorial voice is hitting her in the same way that punches would, "What- What on earth is the meaning of this? What is going on between you and Regina?"
"Mom," Emma's voice is small, as she combats all of her worst fears.
"Tell her," Regina found herself pleading, as she reached for Emma's hand in a gesture of comfort. Emma's eyes met Regina's own, and a look of immense understanding passed between them. Then, Emma hesitated. Regina could see the fight or flight instinct at work in the blonde's eyes, and for a fraction of a moment, Regina thought for sure that Emma was about to turn her back on them, on what they had. But the blonde surprised her.
The truth was, Emma always surprised her, from their very first meeting to now. Regina never quite knew what the blonde would do. And she loved that about Emma.
"I'm in love with her, Mom," Emma said as she squeezed Regina's hand even more tightly in her own. "I'm in love with her. I-I'm sorry that this is how you had to find out. But I'm done denying how I feel about this woman. I'm done hiding in the light of day. It- It nearly killed me having to do that."
"Wh…what?" Snow stuttered, and in the same moment, Regina's heart was soaring. She felt elation- happiness in a way that she never quite had before. Sure, she'd come extremely close to feeling this way each time she was with Emma, but in a lot of ways that was different. It was different because it was always concealed behind closed doors, with no other soul around to see. This- This felt different.
"I promised Killian that I would start living again," Emma told her mother. "I promised him that I wouldn't be afraid to be who I truly was anymore."
"But this isn't the way for a Princess to act, Emma," Snow told her. "Princesses are supposed to love a Prince."
"I can't have this conversation with you right now, Mom," Emma told her. "Look, I could easily stand here for the rest of my days telling you all about my feelings, and you still wouldn't understand. I was never a Princess. And I never will be. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I refuse to be what you want. It would- It would kill me, Mom." Emma looked up and addressed all of the onlookers. "I'm sorry that I can't be what all of you want me to be." Then, Emma was wrenching her hand from Regina's and was rushing out the doors.
Regina took in Snow's shocked expression for a fraction of a moment, before her body sprang into action. She gave chase almost immediately, streaking off after the blonde without thought. As she reached the doors, she paused just briefly in order to wrench the heels from her feet. After all, she had no hope of catching up to the blonde in her atrocious heels. She tossed them away and kept running. Her breaths came heavy and fast in her lungs as she started gaining on the blonde.
"Emma!" Regina shouted, her voice full but breathless. "Emma!"
Emma whirled around, her eyes taking in the sight of the brunette rushing to meet her. Emma started back towards her, and quickly the space between them diminished. The blonde reached out for her just as the two of them collided together again in the middle of the hallway, their mouths a tangle of lips, teeth, and tongue. The kiss was desperate and full of promise, a lifetime of promise.
Regina tugged Regina towards the nearest office, and opened the door, pulling the blonde inside with an insistent tug. Emma moaned into Regina's mouth as the door slammed shut behind them, and she felt Regina's hands on her face, drawing her into one deep kiss after another. Suddenly, Regina forced herself to wrench her mouth away, as her wide, expressive deep brown eyes bore into Emma's own.
"I'm so…fucking proud of you," Regina told her through tears as she wiped away Emma's own. "And I love you so much that I promise that I will try to give you enough love for everybody."
"You said that you remembered?" Emma breathed aloud, her chest heaving with feeling and adrenaline.
"I don't know why it took me so long," Regina said with a laugh, "I thought about the woman in the red dress for years. I dreamt about her. I don't know how I never put two and two together up until now, but I- I'm so happy it was you." Emma's response was to pull her into another thorough kiss, which was both desperate and hungry. Regina moaned, and flicked her wrist in order to lock the door, sealing them away from the rest of the world. When their mouths separated, once more, Regina was forced to ask. "Do you intend to keep those promises that you're making with those kisses? Or should we stop?"
"Fuck, Regina," Emma laughed as she pulled the woman closer, "Do you really need to ask that?"
"I'm merely looking for some sort of consent in the form of some words, before we-" Regina was cut off as Emma's mouth took possession of her own. Regina moaned wantonly into Emma's mouth as she felt the blonde's tongue seek out her own. Emma turned them. Regina opened her eyes, in order to see Emma backing her towards the lone desk in the room. Regretfully, Regina ended the kiss.
"Hold on," Regina ordered, as she reached behind her and swept everything from the desk's surface without a single thought for its contents. Then she turned them, and reached behind Emma's thighs. In a feat of strength, Regina lifted the blonde up and deposited her on the smooth surface.
"Regina…" Emma gasped as she felt Regina's lips on her neck. The ministrations weren't as premeditated and deliberate as they once were when they first started this affair. If anything, the actions were chaotic. The brunette's lips and teeth were everywhere and anywhere that the brunette could reach. Emma let out a moan as Regina found that spot behind her ear in a way that made the blonde shiver, and started sucking there. "Oh god," Emma hissed as Regina squeezed the muscular flesh under the blonde's thighs. Emma reached up to the back of the brunette's neck and held her there; relishing the feeling of Regina's lips…everywhere.
"Regina will do just fine, dear," Regina husked against her, her voice thick and gritted with unhinged arousal.
"Fuck," Emma groaned. "H-How long has it been?"
"1 month, 17 days, 2 minutes, and 37 seconds," Regina told her breathlessly, "Correction. Make that 38 seconds."
Regina tugged, using her grip on the blonde's thighs in order to tug Emma back to the edge of the desk. There, her hands started tugging up the hem of Emma's dress. Emma's head fell back as she felt Regina's palm start gliding up her smooth, muscular, left thigh towards her swollen and aching center.
"You counted?" Emma asked in amazement.
"You're damn right, I counted," Regina told her. "I thought I'd never have you again. I had- I had to remember. For both of us."
"I love you," Emma said, her voice so full of sincerity that Regina decided that she could live off of that feeling, if she had to. Regina took Emma's mouth in another searing kiss, as her fingertips finally brushed damp silk.
"Somebody wants me just as badly," Regina said with her voice full of a certain kind of smugness that came with being wanted and needed in such a way.
"You owe me a new pair of underwear," Emma told her.
"Fine," Regina acquiesced. "Then I'm keeping these," she told Emma as she started tugging the thong down Emma's long legs. Her actions hit a momentary roadblock, when the fabric got hooked on one of Emma's heels, but Regina gave another tug and then they were free.
"Kinky," Emma joked as she met Regina's gaze.
"You have no idea what sort of kink I'm into, my dear," Regina laughed. "Oh, wait…" Regina said thoughtfully a mere moment later, "I think you actually kind of do."
"Are you gonna stand there and feed me lines, or are you gonna do someth…" Emma let out a long distracted moan as Regina pushed into her for the first time in what felt like ages.
"Don't ever say that I don't follow through on my promises, Em-ma," Regina husked into her ear, as she sucked the lobe of her right ear into her mouth. Emma let out another moan as Regina, started to move inside of her. First, pulling out ever so slightly, before burying herself all the way back in, with a curl of her fingertips.
This earned a punctuated, "Fuck," from the blonde. The blonde's hands were suddenly at the brunette's shoulders, scrabbling for some sort of hold on the invaluable woman, as the brunette started to passionately take her. Regina pulled back for a ravenous breath, before diving in once more. Mouths collided in a hungry kiss that mimicked Regina's ministrations in a way that quickly and effectively ratcheted up Emma's desire. Muscles inside of Emma started to quiver as they became desperate to cling to Regina's slender and masterful fingers. Regina could feel each feeble contraction as the blonde's cries grew louder and less restrained.
"That's it, dear," Regina told her, as the blonde's eyes fluttered shut in a state of sudden euphoria. The sounds coming from Emma's throat were inarticulate, but meaningful all at once. Regina didn't know how that could be possible, but it was.
They were both jolted from what they were doing, as the sound of the doorknob jiggling echoed deafeningly through the room that they were in.
"Emma," a voice seeped through the door, as Jake pounded on it with a closed fist. "Emma, are you in there!?" Regina felt her hand still inside of her lover.
Emma's throat let out a low keening wail at the loss of what she needed and wanted.
"No," Emma nearly sobbed.
Regina pressed her lips to Emma's mouth and swallowed the sound, afraid that they would be found out.
"Shh," she cooed as her hand picked up its motion again. "I've got you. I've got you, Emma, I promise." She started thrusting harder and harder into her lover, as she pressed her other hand over Emma's mouth in order to stifle the sound of the blonde's cries. Even so, the sounds seemed to pass through her flesh as they increased in frequency and volume. Emma's eyes nearly rolled back in her head as her desire was lifted up higher and higher without any promise of ever coming back down. Emma had once told Regina it was possible for women to have an hour long orgasm, and Emma silently wondered if that's what the brunette was aspiring to achieve just now. Emma felt her body coil itself tighter and tighter around the brunette's fingers, as if they were the very center of the universe. Emma's thighs quaked and quivered as she grew closer and closer to the precipice.
Regina, wanting to make Emma's world utterly explode in a way she never had before twisted, and pulled Emma's insides. She worked tirelessly, with sweat building on her own face and body, as the brunette became little more than a mass of quivering, pulsing need herself. Still, the blonde's need was at the forefront. This was about giving Emma everything she had, and making her feel love and passion in a way they'd both fought for so long.
When Emma felt the first sweep of Regina's thumb over her clit, she just about died. Actually, she's pretty sure that there wasn't any doubt. She just died.
She must've because the next thing she knew, it was like waking up from a dream. Her breaths were quick and shallow. Stars flashed behind her eyelids, as Regina cooed sweet nothings in her ear- words heavy with love, draped in immense feeling.
"God, you're so beautiful," Regina whispered, with warm puffs of air accompanying the words. Slowly, Emma came back down.
"Wow." It was all Emma could say. There was no other word that she could find, as she slowly came back to the world.
"I- I think you passed out for a moment there, dear," Regina whispered smugly. "Are you okay?" she asked with feigned concern.
"Fuck you," Emma shot back unashamedly, her eyes twinkling in mirth and love.
"Well, do you think that you could?" Regina asked her, "Because I'm pretty sure my insides have turned into a quivering mass of jelly. And it's not an altogether pleasant feeling."
Emma looked to the door, speaking in a near whisper. "What do you say that we relocate our activities to somewhere a little more…comfortable." She didn't see Jake out there, but that didn't mean that he wasn't lingering close by.
Regina's response was to vanish them in a puff of purple smoke.
A second later, and they were materializing in Regina's bedroom.
Emma let out a hungry growl as she quickly closed the space between them, looking to make good on her own promises. She was going to make the woman feel every bit as loved as she was.
Everyone they say that we don't work
But I could swear this is heaven yeah
Every day I know that this might hurt, but I don't care
This is heaven yeah
A/N: Hope that you liked it! Just as a special note, the songs I used for the inspiration of this chapter are "Ruin," by Shawn Mendes, "Dancing on my own," as covered by Calum Scott, and "Heaven," by OneRepublic. It might even give you some insight as to where this all came from, so feel free to give them a listen if you dare!
Please hit the review button on the way out! Thanks! :)