Thank you Rbeccap, elaine67, ECISLove2010 and tracybuie for your reviews! I loved hearing from you! Hope you like this chapter... I tried to think from Bella's POV
BPOV
I was so mad as I pulled him towards the closet with me. I could feel the adrenaline rush through my body.
"Can you hear anyone? I don't want anyone to see us going in there."
It was very exciting to sneak behind the back of everyone. I'd never done something like this before and I've managed to get Edward to come with me. I'm surprised that he didn't question why I wanted to get cleaning supplies. Guess he doesn't have any idea about human toilets and how they are supposed to be cleaned.
"No Bella no one's here." I followed Edward into the closet and closed the door. I took a deep breath. It's now or never, without any further thought I grabbed hold of him and started kissing him against the wall. I could feel his surprise at first but after a moments' hesitation he gave in and started kissing me back very passionately. His cool lips felt like velvet against my lips. I sucked on to them. I rubbed my body against him but it was not enough I wanted to touch him. I knew exactly where I wanted to touch but I knew it would scare Edward if I attempted anything too outrageous so I decided I would try to just feel his upper body.
He had never really let me explore his chest before. I'd seen his bare chest once the day that he showed me how he sparkled in the sun but he had never gone shirtless again. I needed to remedy that situation soon. I felt a bit shy touching his skin straightaway so I ran my hands over his chest through his t-shirt. He was wearing a very tight sexy black t-shirt today. I could feel the hard corded muscles on his chest. I think he has a six pack. I slowly moved my hands upwards. I felt his nipple. Oh god it was erect! Do male nipples get erect like females when they are excited or was it just Edwards marble form making it feel like this?
I will have to google it. They looked very prominent through his t-shirt and I didn't notice them today in the morning when we were in the car park. May be they were erect. This was interesting. Will he be sensitive as I am on his nipples? I slowly squeezed the one in my hand. He shuddered. I couldn't help biting on the other nipple just to see his reaction. He moaned. Oh! he found it arousing. His erection also grew. I could feel it more and he was pushing into me. I was elated that he didn't immediately pull away. This means he is totally lost in his passion. Wow….. and I got him to do that. I knew for sure with his morals he would have found me biting on his nipple offensive. I really hoped he doesn't scold me about it when he is back to his normal self.
He started kissing me again hungrily. Did he just squeeze my butt…..I felt a slight…..oh yes he squeezed my butt! He just did it again and this time more tightly. The little cheek! I didn't know he had it in him. Oh so he liked stuff like that, well that means that he surely wouldn't say anything to me for the nipple biting. He pressed more deliberately against me. I felt the pleasure coursing through my core at the feel of his hardness against me. I wanted to rub myself properly against him but I was not tall enough. He pressed against my stomach and was grinding into me.
I was debating whether to climb onto something to get a better friction on the place I wanted it most when I felt his hands on my bra through my blouse. He was tracing it….. was he going to remove it? I couldn't believe it! All of a sudden I felt very embarrassed. Would he want to touch my naked breasts? Oh my god…. I hope he wouldn't be disappointed. He had never really felt them. I remembered the exquisite beauty of Rosalie. I could never compete with her. To think she was meant for him and he didn't want her. I was not that well built I was just average. I know I had nothing to be ashamed of. But I felt inadequate. He was now playing with the clasp. Oh dear he was going to open it. Should I ask him to stop? I wasn't ready for this. Will he feel upset if I refuse? Just then I heard the door open. Oh thank god saved by the bell! Better not rejoice too soon. I slowly turn around. It was Jessica and Mike. I'm sure I blushed like a tomato. The looks on their faces were priceless.
I was really surprised that we got caught like this. It should have been almost impossible. I had a mind reader with me for goodness sake and I had also put a psychic in-charge of overall security there was no way this mission could have been compromised. I was sure Alice would have warned him even if he failed to hear them in his passion. I knew how sensitive and attuned to Alice he is. I remembered the mud bath where they were both too preoccupied. No. Alice was not doing anything distracting. So … unless. I looked at Edward. The little cheek had a sly smile on his lips.
He knew they were coming! He had wanted to get caught! The show off! I was sure all this was for the benefit of Mike Newton. I could see his face. He looked very disheartened. Well that's fine by me. I really was getting annoyed with the revival of his golden retriever role after I had started talking to everyone again. I looked at Jessica. Aha. She looked jealous. That's good. I was actually getting annoyed with Jessica's and Lauren's continued cryptic comments to Edward even after he openly tried to show that he was with me. Suddenly Edward pulled me in front of him just as Jessica looked down. Was she….trying to get a look at his …..erection? Oh my god! She really was a …. I suddenly felt very protective of Edward. I had to get him out of here. It was my fault he was in this predicament in the first place and I knew that he was still aroused. I could now feel him against my back. He was holding me closely to him.
"Ahem.. we just finished you can have the closet. See you in class."
I dragged Edward and walked as fast as I could to our next class. He never asked me anything about the cleaning liquid. Guess he forgot about it. I hope he doesn't get upset with me for the little stunt I pulled.
EPOV
The rest of the day passed without incident. Bella wouldn't meet my eyes at first and I felt awkward looking at her too. So I also avoided looking up. We shared our lab project and spoke when it was necessary. Should I apologise for not warning her about Jessica's and Mike's approach? During the next class I pulled my chair next to hers and let my thigh touch hers again. I couldn't help it I wanted to feel her. She finally met my eyes. She was blushing. I saw a shy smile touch her lips. How I wanted to kiss her again. We were in the back row so I took a chance and gave her a quick peck on her lips at vampire speed. I checked to see whether the class had noticed it. No one seemed to have noticed anything. Bella looked stunned. I winked at her. She mock punched me on my shoulder. I knew she had felt the kiss. I wanted so much to kiss her again. I wasn't sure how I was going to control myself.
BPOV
My last class for the day was gym. I really hated it. Edward and Alice didn't have it with me so I left them in the hall way outside and went in to class. After a horrible class where I managed to knock a ball onto the coach's head I quickly made my way to the girl's locker room before the others got there. I didn't want anyone to crack anymore jokes about the incident. I had just opened my locker to change my clothes when I was pushed against it by the force of a .. a cold wind. No it was Edward. He was grinding into me and kissing me. I felt his hands on my hair, face, shoulders, ….. my hips then he was gone as suddenly as he appeared. I was sure he grazed the side of my breast on his way down. I still felt a tingling there. I sank to the floor. Oh god oh god what had just happened?
"Hey Bella, are you alright?" I could hear Angela's worried voice talking to me.
I nodded yes to her.
"Do you want a drink of water?"
She helped me up. I quickly sat on one of the benches and drank the water Angela offered. I was still in a daze. Did he come? Had he really come into the girl's locker room and kissed me? Touched me intimately… well … it was so unlike him to accidentally graze the side of my breasts. He had so far made sure not to touch me there. It had all lasted just a fraction of a second…..or may be more but I felt like my head was dizzy with how fast everything just happened. I hadn't seen him come or leave. It was only the cold woosh of air that even warned me that he was actually there. I remembered how he had sat close to me in class making sure his thigh touched mine. He had even taken the risk of kissing me in class while the lesson was going on. He had been really fast with that kiss too. So I knew for sure that Edward had just come in and kissed me. What had I done? It was so unlike Edward to act like this. Have I unleashed a sexual monster? I knew very little about teenage vampire behaviour. I knew all about the human teenagers and their hormones. I was after all experiencing it. But what about a vampire with such urges? His must be multiplied a hundred times more than mine if I take their enhanced abilities as a measuring stick. And he had suppressed all these sexual urges for nearly 90 years. If all that emotion and sexual desire gets released all at once…..oh dear lord!
For the first time in my life I was scared of Edward Cullen. I was scared of what he might want from me. I knew that I was the one who had unleashed all these buried desires. I also knew that he only wanted me. I was the object of all his passion. How was I ever going to satisfy him? I was so fragile and breakable next to his strength. If he lost control even for a moment that would be the end of me. I was still not sure how he was handling the bloodlust. If sexual desire was also added to the equation…. I was a fool to ever play games of this nature with him. I was no match for him. I was from a different species. Was I even compatible with him? I don't think I would ever be able to even have all of him inside me. He was so huge from what little I had felt of him. I knew he was larger than a normal human male. I'd studied human anatomy. I remembered that I had thought of a rolling pin as an example when I felt him. I hadn't actually touched him to really get a good idea about his shape or size but from what I've felt so far…. If he ever tries to make love to me…. I covered my face with my hands.
In my ignorance I had never thought about this side of things. Even when I was going out with him earlier intimacy was not something we had really considered except for the few kisses we'd shared. I'd never really thought beyond that. Of course I had fantazised about making love with him but I had never really thought of the practical side of things. Well I had never felt him in the first place to know that there was anything to worry about. Was it the real reason he kept pulling back and not the bloodlust? Did he know even then that we could never be intimate and have a normal sexual relationship? I felt embarrassed to think that this could be the reason why he didn't want to take our relationship any further those days…. Because I was sexually incapable of ever accommodating him.
But ….. the way he is behaving now? If he knew all this.. why would he try to deepen that aspect of our relationship? He was not hiding his need now. In fact he was flaunting it. Even after his release that day against the lockers his need for me had still been enough for him to maintain his erection. I knew vampires never got tired. Does that mean that if we by some miracle manage to fit together he could go on making love to me non stop? I knew my human body could not survive that. What am I going to do? I felt tears gather in my eyes. I had stupidly awoken his desires and needs and now I was going to have to deny them because I was incapable of satisfying him. He wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after this fiasco. I know he said he loves me….but will that love be enough to deny his physical needs? He would have to seek satisfaction else where from a vampire female. What about me changing? We haven't discussed that…. It was a solution… but still my vampire form would only be slightly different from my human form….I'd still not be able to accommodate him. He must have been well endowed as a human too. God what am I going to do…..
"Bella…" I felt Alice's cold hand on my shoulder.
"Bella everyone's gone….. what are you still doing here? Angela got a call that one of her brothers had got hurt and had to rush home but she saw me and told me that you were upset about something and for me to check on you. I also got a vision of you crying."
"Oh.. Alice."
"What's wrong Bella? You know you can talk to me about anything. Edward looked very upset when I left him. He told me to apologise for what he did just now. He said he didn't know what came over him and he just had to come and see you. He is very sorry for invading your privacy. He knew you'd just come to the locker room so you wouldn't be in any state of undress and you were alone in the room so he had decided to come to you. Did he upset you in anyway?"
"No no Alice nothing like that."
"He's not listening to my mind right now Bella. He said he's going to the car park and will be listening to a CD. You can talk to me freely he wouldn't over hear."
"It's just that…oh Alice what am I going to do?"
"Are you embarrassed about Jessica and Mike finding you in the closet? I warned Edward. He's sorry about that too. He just wanted to show off. That idiot! I had no time to get there to prevent you from getting discovered. I sent the warning to him well in advance."
"Oh that was ok. I was a little embarrassed at first but it was fine. After all they were also going to do the same as us in the closet. Even if they tell anyone everyone knows that Edward and I are going out. It's a normal thing that teenagers do."
"Then why are you crying? I know something is upsetting you."
"Alice…..I really don't know how to talk to you about this….. it's just that …I'm scared Alice."
"Are you scared that things are moving too fast? You can tell Edward and he will understand."
"No Alice. I'm ok with how things are going…it's just that I'm worried. We are so different Alice….he's a vampire and I'm human….for the first time in my life…I'm …I'm scared of him."
"Why? Has he been too aggressive with you? I'm sorry he really doesn't have any experience with this type of thing. Did he hurt you? I know he wouldn't ever intentionally do that. He said his bloodlust was completely under control and I have not seen any visions where he bites you ever since we came back."
"No it's not that either."
"Then what Bella tell me? I'm your friend even though I'm Edward's sister. I won't tell him anything private you wish to share with me. I promise."
I believed her. She was the only one I can talk to about this anyway. I couldn't talk with Renee.. and Angela really wouldn't know how to advice me. She might even be shocked that I even thought about all this. Alice was the only one who could help me if there was any hope at all. I honestly couldn't talk to Edward about this.
"He's…he's …..so big Alice.." Oh shit! Did I really say that? Alice's eyes grew huge and she leaned back. Her mouth even dropped open.
"Are you saying what I think you are saying?" I covered my face with my hands again. Oh no! I might as well go the whole way…..I nodded my head…
"Well I…oh god Bella…..I never thought ….. give me a minute I'm trying to think of a way to …..but Bella I've never really seen him…..I wouldn't know…..OH! I saw him that day when you kissed him in the hall way…..I can't believe I'm talking to you about my brother this way….. it can't be helped…I have to help you with this…let me think. I've only ever been with Jasper Bella. I would guess that Jasper and Edward would be around the same size from what I saw. But keep in mind that Edward had his clothes on that day in the hallway. I've seen some of Emmett's naughty videos but the people in them were much larger than Jasper….. and the human actresses still managed to you know…. so I don't think it has anything to do with the differences between a vampire and a human. I'm even smaller than you but I still manage to be with Jasper. If there is a problem because you are a human then of course once you change that will also be sorted. You are still going to become one of us right Bella?"
"Yes Alice. I haven't really thought much about it. But I guess I'll think more on it after graduation. My whole focus right now is to get a scholarship to a good university."
"I understand.. well … have I at least helped you a little with your problem Bella?"
"Yes sure Alice. I never thought of things that way. I guess it would all work out….. I don't think Edward would even consider being with me until I change so this is not something that we will need to think about immediately. But it's just today… I felt so scared that I will not be enough for him Alice…He's so different from what he was….he's …..he's .. you know … behaving like a normal human teenager…. Well except for the speed thing. Honestly Alice….. I almost thought I'd just dreamed up the whole thing in the gym just now. He was so fast."
At this Alice burst out laughing.
"I was also surprised to hear about it. I'm not looking into your relationship anymore so I didn't see it. I couldn't believe he'd done that and taken such a risk bursting in here just because he couldn't wait to kiss you till you came out."
I had to smile at that. Edward sure has changed a lot. I hoped it was for the best…. And that everything would work out for us….. a part of me still felt scared though…..
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