DISCLAIMER: I don't own SVU/L&O or any of its storylines or characters, I do however own this plot, and its original characters.
A/N: On with the show...
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The next morning Olivia woke up at six am an hour before she had to and as she was locked in her room with only access to the bathroom she had a long cold shower (Hot water was only available after breakfast unless someone turned it on but Olivia wasn't complaining.)
She knew she had to be in court and hoped that Miranda would bring her something other than her grey tracks to wear as she really thought they made her look worse than she was.
When the buzzer for the door went she instantly opened it and made her way down to breakfast taking the same seat right in the back where she could watch everyone but she wasn't pleased when Connor Forest joined her.
"Just because I said I'd stay here with you it didn't mean I wanted to talk to you." Olivia said to him and he shrugged.
"It can get pretty lonely in this place Detective." He said. "You need someone to talk to even if it is a convicted rapist."
"What do you want Forest?" Olivia asked.
"Nothing." He replied. "I just thought you looked lonely."
"Well I'm not." She replied firmly.
"Ok well I'm not leaving, I want to eat." He said and Olivia shrugged and turned her attention to her breakfast. "So why are you here?"
"What's that got to do with you?" Olivia asked.
"Nothing but seeing as I'm sat here and you know more about me than I would like maybe you can share some information about you." Connor replied. "I mean you're what twenty weeks pregnant?"
"Nineteen." Olivia replied.
"Nineteen weeks, no father?"
"None that matters." Olivia answered straight away, she knew she was playing with fire but having someone to talk to was better than being lonely.
"Breakdown?"
"Excuse me?" Olivia asked in shock.
"I'm trying to figure out why you're here." He shrugged.
"Pre-partum." Olivia replied not seeing a reason to hide the truth from him.
"Depression?"
"Psychosis." Olivia replied.
"Ouch, not nice." He replied.
"What you've been pregnant and gone nuts too?" Olivia replied making him chuckle.
"No but psychosis is the same doesn't matter what word you put in front of it." Forest replied. "I've had psychosis."
"Oh right." Olivia replied.
"So what did you do that made you mad enough to end up in here? I mean you didn't commit yourself or you'd have just walked out of here last night which means you're here on a court order."
"Wow you're clever." Replied Olivia sarcastically.
"I am." He said with a smug smile making Olivia laugh a little.
"Yeah ok a court committed me."
"So spill what did you do?" He asked again and Olivia sighed.
"Slit my wrists." Olivia replied showing her fading cuts. "Then after a seventy two hour psych hold I went on holiday with a friend for two weeks and then when I came back I was being babysat by friends because apparently I wasn't trusted to be alone so I ran off and the wannabe baby daddy went to court while I was MIA and they put an arrest warrant out on me for endangering the welfare of a child."
"Seriously?" He asked and Olivia nodded weakly. "Can they do that?"
"Well they did." Olivia sighed. "I've got a great lawyer though I may have to stay here for a while I'm sure the charges will be dropped."
"I wish you all the best Detective…"
"Olivia." She replied and he smiled at her realising she was letting him get personal. "I mean if you know my story you may as well use my name and uh don't tell everyone I'm a Detective please?"
"I haven't told anyone and I wasn't planning on." He replied and Olivia smiled gratefully.
"I've got arraignment and my lawyer will be here in a bit so I should go." Olivia replied. "Thanks for the chat."
"I'll see you later Olivia."
"See you later." She replied with a smile and Connor smiled back.
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Olivia adjusted the suit Miranda had bought her over her bump, the defence attorney had been on a shopping trip before coming up to the hospital knowing that Olivia would need something decent to wear for arraignment to impress the judge.
"So we're going to say you're here so bail will basically be denied but you'll be released into custody of the people and the people want you here." Miranda said as Olivia continued to adjust her clothing.
"Yeah." Olivia replied just so she said something.
"Then once we're done in arraignment we're going straight to another court room to try and throw out the case do you want to be there?" Miranda asked.
"Yeah, anywhere is nicer than here." Olivia laughed weakly. "You know this morning at breakfast I was sat with a rapist that I arrested."
"Really?" Miranda asked.
"Yeah, I noticed him last night and we talked with Hendrix as mediator and then he decided to join me at breakfast and I could tell listening to him that he was different you know so I carried on talking to him and who knows it may be good to have an allay in this place even if it's a rapist."
"Fair enough, I mean if you're happy Liv I haven't got a problem but if you want to be moved to a different hospital I could have it arranged." Miranda explained.
"No I'm ok here." Olivia replied with a reassuring smile.
"Good." Miranda smiled back.
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Olivia walked into the court room with Miranda as confidently as she could but she felt scared, she was being arraigned in family court for endangering her own baby who wasn't even born yet and it sickened her, she'd never hurt her son.
She saw Elliot in the gallery but she avoided his gaze and walked straight to the table where Alex gave her an apologetic look to which Olivia returned a reassuring smile.
"Docket ending six one four one people of the state of New York V Olivia Benson one count endangering the welfare of a child."
"How does the defendant plead?"
"Not guilty." Olivia replied firmly.
"People on bail?"
"The defendant is already in state custody at Bellevue psychiatric we would like her to be remanded but kept at Bellevue until trial." Alex replied.
"Defence?"
"No objections your honour and the defence has already filled a motion to dismiss and the hearing takes place straight after this." Miranda replied.
"Well that's a matter for the trial judge, defendant is remanded without bail to Bellevue psychiatric." As the gavel was slammed down Olivia saw a court officer approach and looked panicked at Miranda.
"They'll take you down to lock up then they'll bring you up to the court room in twenty minutes for the hearing." Miranda said and Olivia nodded in reply, it was all she could do under the circumstances.
As she was cuffed she looked over at Elliot and saw him looking straight at her. She threw him the filthiest of looks before being led away by the officer.
Once the bars were slammed shut behind her Olivia let the tears she'd been holding back fall, she knew if convicted the chances where she'd lose her job and she couldn't face that.
"I'm sorry Olivia."
She sniffed hard and wiped her tears angrily before turning to look at Elliot who was standing behind the bars.
"What's it going to take for you to get the message that I don't want to see you?" Olivia asked as the bars opened to let him in.
"I'm not going to stop trying to talk to you Olivia." He said. "I'm sorry but I love you …"
"You have a funny way of showing it." She said as he handed her a tissue and a compact mirror.
"I know but as hard as it is for you to believe Olivia I did this for you, the best place for you is Bellevue right now, I don't want you prosecuted for endangering Liv that wasn't my intentions when I went to court I just wanted you home." Elliot said as his tears finally tumbled, tears he'd been holding back for way too long.
"I'm scared El." She whispered as more tears trickled down her cheeks.
"Me too." He replied kneeling in front of her and wiping her tears with his thumb. "I'm terrified of losing you."
"Why though El? I just wanted a break!" She explained desperately.
"I know baby I know but you're sick." Elliot replied and she nodded, she wasn't disputing being unwell.
"Rebecca's put me on meds." Olivia said.
"That's good. You ok with that?" Elliot asked.
"It was my choice, I want to get better El." She whispered. "I want to be a good Mom to our boy."
"I know and you will be it's not your fault you're sick I understand that and now you're getting help by the time our boy is born you're going to be all better and we can bring our boy up good." Elliot told her as he continued to stroke his thumb across her cheek.
"But the state's already deemed me an unfit mother." Olivia whispered. "And he's not even born yet." She said as she felt her baby kicking her ribs.
"I know Liv, but soon we'll be able to prove that you're fit to look after the baby." Elliot replied.
"What happens to the baby if they think I'm still not fit?" Olivia asked.
"I'll take custody until you're better." Elliot replied. "I won't let them take our boy Liv I swear."
"Ok." She nodded. "I'm sorry Elliot."
"I know baby I'm sorry too." He said pulling her into his arms and kissing her hard.
"I'm so sorry El, I didn't mean to hurt our boy." She sobbed.
"You didn't hurt him baby." Elliot replied. "I promise you didn't and we're going to make this all right ok?" Elliot replied as he held her and looked into her eyes and she nodded in reply before he pulled her tight into his arms and rocked her softly.
"Ms Benson." The officer said as the gate opened.
Olivia got her feet and rubbed at her cheeks to try and hide the evidence of her tears in which she failed. She then turned around and closed her eyes as the cuffs were placed on her wrists, luckily the officer knew she was a cop and tied the cuffs lose enough that if Olivia wanted to she could slide her hands out of it.
"I'll see you up there Liv." Elliot whispered before kissing her cheek and he hurried off in one direction while she was led in another.
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She walked into the courtroom and Miranda saw the evidence of tears and really felt for her friend.
"Everything ok?" Miranda asked as Olivia was uncuffed.
"Yeah." Olivia replied hoarsely and Miranda quickly unscrewed a bottle of water and passed it over to her. "Thanks."
"What happened?" Miranda asked.
"Elliot came to see me, we talked." She replied and she saw him come through the door and smiled at her reassuringly in which she returned.
"Ok. That's good Liv." Miranda replied rubbing her friend's shoulder just as the Judge came in.
The process was soon underway and Olivia listened to the law talk that she barely understood as she just wait for a verdict.
"I have heard both parties now does the defendant have anything to say?"
"No…"
"Yes." Olivia interrupted Miranda and jumped to her feet.
"You have my attention Detective." The Judge said.
"Judge, I have worked for Special Victims unit for nearly nine years now, I have sat in the witness box over a hundred times in cases where children have been abused and they have been horrendous. I don't deny that what I did was reckless and stupid, I ran away at a time I needed help which I am now getting but I have not and would not ever hurt a child especially not my own, no harm came to my boy while I was in Long Beach, I was there getting some r and r unaware how much panic I was causing, I let people know I was safe but denied to let them know my whereabouts because I knew they would come after me and I didn't want to be found as a grown adult I had every right to leave the city, I wasn't a fugitive on the run or a witness I didn't even know about the subpoena until my lawyer put two and two together and found me. Please understand that I never put my child in danger while I was away, I ate properly, I took my prenatal vitamins and did my exercises just as my doctor told me to. That's all I have to say so thank you." Olivia said.
"Ok I will review the statements made and deliver my verdict at two pm."
Olivia almost crumbled, it was only just gone eleven in the morning and that was three hours she would have to sit in lock up.
"Miranda…" She whispered.
"What is it?" Miranda asked.
"I can't sit in lock up for three hours, I want to go back to Bellevue." Olivia replied and Miranda nodded.
"Ok." Miranda replied as the court officer stepped forward with the cuffs ready. "I'll come and get you and take you back as soon as I can ok I just need to talk to Elliot."
"Ok." Olivia nodded before being led away her heart breaking even more, she couldn't stand being treated like a criminal when she knew she'd done nothing wrong.
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After being transferred back to Belleview Olivia went straight to her room and quickly changed knowing that she wasn't allowed to stay in the clothes she'd worn for court. She then climbed into her bed and sobbed quietly as she didn't want anyone to hear but Rebecca knew that Olivia was back and would have had a hard time so she had come to check on the Detective and found her shaking figure under the comforter.
"Olivia?" She said softly as she entered further into the room.
"What?" She croaked not wanting to talk.
"Court not go well?" Rebecca asked.
"It was fine." Olivia replied from under the blanket her face hidden. "Judge will deliver his verdict after lunch I just didn't want to sit in lock up."
"Ok, what's got you so upset?" Rebecca asked taking the seat beside the bed.
"I really don't want to talk right now Bex please?" She pleaded through a strangled sob.
"Ok." Rebecca replied. "Get some rest Liv someone will come wake you at lunch ok?"
Olivia didn't reply as silent sobs wracked her body and Rebecca could only hope that whatever it was that was hurting her wouldn't push her back because she may have only been at the hospital a few hours but she'd already taken baby steps forward.
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Next chapter – Verdict and Questioning