Chapter 25--Intermezzo
Romance, who loves to nod and sing
With drowsy head and folded wing
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been—most familiar bird—
Taught me my alphabet to say,
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child—with a most knowing eye.
Of late, eternal condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Through gazing on the unquiet sky;
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings,
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away—forbidden things—
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.
--Edgar Allen Poe, "Romance"
* * *
When the Captain returned to his quarters, Kam was awake on the settee, the portrait of Jack and Ianto on the roof unrolled in front of him on the coffee table, a cup of steaming orange jasmine tea in his hands.
"Hey, Cariad?" Jack greeted him softly, "What are you doing up?"
"I woke up. You were gone." He sniffed a little and when he glanced quickly at Jack and away, his eyes were red and watery. Jack moved quickly to sit beside him and pull him into his arms.
"Kam? Why are you crying?"
The younger man shrugged helplessly. He couldn't have told Jack even if he knew the answer. He'd woken from a dream in which Jack had left him for someone else, someone who knew how to please him, and when he'd awoken to find Jack gone, all of Kam's insecurities had kicked into high gear.
"I didn't know where you were."
"I went to my office to check on something. It took longer than I expected. What's upset you? Did you have a bad dream? Where did you think I'd gone?"
Furiously, Jack wracked his brain. What could have so upset Kam? It wasn't an uncommon thing for Kam to awaken to find Jack's side of the bed empty. Generally he joined him initially, slept a few hours, then rose to read or get some work done, occasionally slipping back into bed beside the beautiful sleeping boy for a little more sleep before the alarm went off, but most often he was up for the day. And it wasn't as if the Welshman was a large ship. There just weren't that many places Jack could have been, and Kam could have come looking for him in any of them as he had done on occasion. Checking in with his first officer, with his engineer, getting a cup of coffee in the mess, catching up on paperwork in his office…all activities Kam had taken in stride.
Unable to find words to reassure the man in his arms, since he had no idea what the problem was, Jack resorted to taking the tea cup out of his hand, placing it carefully aside, and kissing him fiercely. Kam's initial resistance dropped almost immediately as he relaxed into Jack's embrace.
"You're okay, Cariad," Jack whispered hoarsely as he broke off the kiss momentarily. "I've got you, and I'm not letting you go."
At his words, Kam took Jack's head in his hands and pulled him in for a series of desperate kisses. Following his lead, Jack met the frenzied sortee kiss for kiss, touch for touch. Eventually the near violence of Kam's passion retreated, his touches calmed, his kisses slowed. Jack held him tight as he quieted, whispering soothing nothings, aware of the shudderings of the boy's shoulders, even if the sobs were silent. Finally those too settled. Jack feathered kisses on Kam's head.
"See, Kam, you're all right. I'm right here. Shhhh. You're fine." He gently pushed the younger man back by the shoulders, detaching Kam's face from the spot on his own chest where it had been buried, so that he could look into his eyes.
"You okay?"
Kam nodded with a wan smile.
"Then how about I get you tucked into bed, make us some fresh tea, and read a little more about Hogwarts? What do you think?"
Kam sniffed one last time, and his smile widened a little.
"I think that sounds great."
Once Kam was settled under the covers, Jack wrapped one of his own sweaters around the younger man's shoulders before heading to the electric kettle to boil more water. Kam was still awake, barely, propped up in bed awaiting him when he returned, looking far calmer than he had at any time since Jack returned to their quarters.
"Want to tell me what that was about?" he asked carefully, gently. Kam's eyes dropped to the ground and he shook his head.
"Okay. Scoot over, Kam. Here's your tea…" Jack placed his own on the bedside table and slid in beside him, picking up the book. "Ready?"
Kam nodded, cuddling up against Jack, sipping carefully at the hot tea.
"'Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun…'" Jack began reading. Kam was asleep before he turned the next page.