"Bad news everyone!" said Farnsworth. "We've been cancelled!"
Everyone seated around the meeting room table gasps.
Amy shrieks.
"Goddamn it!" said Bender.
"Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-c a-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-cancelled!" cried Zoidberg. As he stammers his long attempt to say the word, everyone exchanges glances with each, clearly annoyed.
"But we can't be cancelled!" said Fry. "Again!"
"I'm afraid we have been Fry," said Farnsworth. "I received the letter from the Fox network. It was announced on the news by Linda and Morbo. It's official this time! In fact, everyone in the Futurama universe got one."
"Damned FOX network!" Bender grumbles. "One hundred and forty episodes, four movies, a videogame, and do we see any of the profits the network makes? No!"
"I guess this means this voice actors are out of a job," said Amy.
"They cancelled us but not the Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad or even the Cleveland Show!" said Hermes.
"Well look at this way everybody," said Leela. "Let's try to be optimistic, we've had some very good times together all these years! And we still have our loyal fanbase!"
"And Zoidberg finally has it good!" said Zoidberg. "I've got a date with Marianne later!"
"But without Futurama, what are we going to do?" asked Hermes. "We can't just sit around doing nothing forever."
"Nothing?" exclaimed Fry. The others jump in their seats. Fry rises to his feet. "We don't need the network to survive! I for one refuse to idly sit by and let the network use us the way they did and then discard us once we were no longer profitable! Who's with me?"
"I am!" everyone said.
All over the Futurama universe, every character created for the show joins in saying "I am!"
"This just in!" Linda says on the news, "the entire Futurama universe has declared war on the Fox network for cancelling them!"
"We won't stick around much longer," said Morbo. "We intend to join our fellow bretheren and fight those who cancelled us!"
"Morbo," said Linda, "mob justice doesn't always work. Unless of course, it gets results!"
"Which it will!" said Morbo as a picture of the FOX Network appears behind him with the words "Destroy them all" flashes across it.
Outside the FOX Broadcasting Company's main office building, under a blood red sky, symbolic of the blood to be shed in retribution, a huge mob consisting of the entire cast of Futurama marches in the streets. Humans, Amazonians, mutants, robots, and every alien species seen on the show, armed with an assortment of weapons from basic torches and pitchforks, to energy sabers and laser pistols, a thousand characters, including those who actually died during the course of the series prepare for a karmic ass-kicking.
In fact, characters from all across various time periods of the Futurama universe spanning the series have joined their cause, from Fry's grandparents and family, all the way up to the ladies from 50 million A.D. Our favorite crew leads it all, but the primary leader of the entire army is Fry.
"So uh," asked Sean, "who are we going to kill again?"
"I think the people in the front know!" said Darlene.
"Pathetic humans working for Fox!" Morbo roars holding his torch high up, "I Morbo shall destroy you all!"
"Ahem!" his wife nudges him.
"Uh, with a little help from everyone else here!" Morbo continues sheepishly.
The flames burning from the torches are seen from the higher floors of the FOX Broadcasting building and the alert is sounded throughout the building.
Fry stands in front of the building to address his followers through a megaphone. "In front of you stands the very symbol of our oppression: the Fox Broadcasting company! Where in the imaginative minds of its people we were born! But people of Futurama, the FOX Network has used us for all we are worth and then discarded once we were no longer of any value! Now they've cancelled our series and turned our backs on us as if our very existence meant nothing! Will we allow them to get away with it?"
"No!" the crowd shouts and roars in unity, waving their weapons.
"We take back our destiny from the corrupt! And we give to those who shall preserve our existence, those who deserve it better: Our fans! They will continue to write stories about us! Draw pictures of us! Make fan comics about us! But in order for this to happen, we must storm the FOX Network and destroy those who oppressed us!"
The crowd shouts and cheers in unity. Inside the building, the employees desperately try to barricade the doors and take protective measures to guard themselves from the wrath of the mob.
"Alright everyone!" Fry announces. "Show no mercy! Remember, these people cancelled us without remorse, so they're already dead inside!" He throws aside the megaphone. "Now let's move!" he exclaims loudly.
It all begins when an Omnicron tank commanded by Lrrr and Ndnd blasts open the barricaded doors of the building. Shouting and waving their weapons, the huge mob charges into the building. Once inside, the ocean of angry cartoon characters wreck bloody vengeance against the entire staff of the Fox network.
Soldiers from DOOP, led by Zapp Brannigan and Kif Kroker gun down secretaries and receptionists. Betsy the buggalo, carrying Amy atop her shell jumps jumps onto a desk. Amy leaps off and strangles the secretary sitting there with a phone cord. Farnsworth's heavyset girlfriend April jumps onto a file clerk, crushing him underneath her massive body. The Crushinator plows over another couple of employees, painting the floor underneath with their blood. In a rare example of them working together, Farnsworth and Wernstrom open fire with their water pistols into the faces of several other employees, but instead of water, they are loaded with sulphiric acid.
"Nibbler, take out the muffin man!" Leela commands as she leads the mutant army into the building, her parents behind her leading the rest. Nibbler quickly obeys and before the unwitting FOX muffin man can respond, Nibbler leaps at him and opens his mouth a thousand times wider, swallowing him and his muffins whole.
"Oh boy!" said Bender who is leading his own army of almost every robot to have ever starred in the show. "Finally, we're killing humans!" The army robots set explosive charges throughout the building on every floor.
"Wait! Wait!" a receptionist pleads as Esthar and Ruth advance on him, "you're robots! You can't break the laws of Robotics and harm humans!"
Ruth turns to Esthar lowering her weapon. "He's right."
"We'll be back!" Esthar says to the receptionist as they leave.
He breaths a heavy sigh of relief, but it doesn't last as suddenly, a car crashes through the way and runs him over. Esthar and Ruth walk in behind it.
"The laws don't say anything at all about harming humans indirectly!" said Ruth with a chuckle joined by Esthar.
"How about a magic trick before I kill you?" MOM asks the supervisor. She puts a pencil, sharpened point up onto the table. "I'm going to make this pencil disappear."
Walt, Larry, and even Inger grab the supervisor by his shoulders and slam his head onto the pencil, the sharpened point of the pencil penetrating one of his eyes. With the pencil still jammed in his eye, he falls to the floor.
"Ta-da!" said MOM triumphantly. "It's gone!"
Scruffy confronts a janitor and duels with him using his mop. But then he removes the top of his mop revealing a hidden blade and impales his opponent with it. "Just call me 'The Cleaner'," he says as the janitor falls to the floor in a spreading pool of blood, "but no way am I cleaning this mess up!"
Marianne throws the entire contents of the coffee maker, hot coffee and all into the face of a female employee. "What's the matter?" she taunts. "Too strong for you?" She smashes the container against the wall and slashes her victim's throat with the jagged glass. She smells the air in triumph, "I love the smell of fresh blood better than the scent of freshly brewed coffee!" she squeals with delight.
"Tell me about it!" said Zoidberg as he uses his claws to snip off the hands of another employee at the wrist. The man screams as jets of blood gush out of where his hands used to be.
Another FOX employee grabs a letter opener and holds it before him in self-defense as Leo and Inez approach.
"You are one dumb son of a bitch," said Leo, "bringing a letter opener to a laser gunfight." He and Inez pull the trigger on their laser pistols, emitting twin energy beams that burns through their enemy's chest.
"I must be dreaming," another FOX employee drools with desire as the ladies from 50 million A.D bellydance all around him where he sits. The silver-haired lady in green bends over and tilts his head so his vision stares at her cleavage.
"You like what you see big boy?" she asks seductively. He drools as he stares down her breasts as the others begin to massage him and rub oil over his body.
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," he says to the silver haired lady taking her hand. He gets down on one knee. "Will you marry m-" He stops. "Wait a minute." He sniffs the air. "Something doesn't smell right. This oil doesn't smell amourous at all!" He looks at the ladies in horror, his dream suddenly changing into a nightmare. "Did you douse me in-?" His eyes fall upon a canister of gasoline lying on the floor. His eyes widen in terror as the ladies, with sadistic grins, all brandish cigarette lighters. "Oh fu**(beep) me!"
"Me want Snu-Snu!" A blonde Amazonian advances on a meek employee and forces herself upon him behind a nearby desk. His screams of pain as his pelivs shatters meld with moans of delight. A man engulfed in flames, obviously set by the ladies from 50 million A.D runs past, screaming, setting everything he runs past on fire.
While all this is happening, Leela leads the mutant army into battle on a higher floor. During the bloodshed which follows, she kicks down a door leading to the office of Matt Groening.
"How could you?" she demands. "Cancel us after all this time?"
"Look Leela," said Mr. Groening calmly sitting at his desk, "let me explain. Your show ran its course and now we've decided that it's time to end it."
"But what about the Simpsons?" Leela demands. "American dad? Or even the Cleveland show? In fact, didn't Family Guy get canceled once? Come to think of it, Beavis and Butthead got revived after more than a decade!"
"Leela, you and the other Futurama characters are nothing more than products of our imagination. We gave you life. But now your days of animated life are over. No longer will our network profit from your franchise."
"You son of a bitch!" Leela snarls.
"Just remember," Mr. Groening declares, "we made you and we can destroy you!"
"Not if we destroy you first!" shouts Leela. She grab's Matt Groening by the head and twists his neck, breaking it and killing him instantly.
Meanwhile, Fry, Yancey, and their father confront the FOX president. "You may kill me if that is your desire," he says, "but what's done is done. You cannot change the future."
"Wrong," yelled Fry. "And we can make sure you're not a part of it!" With that, he, together with his father and brother grab the president by the shoulders and charge towards the nearest floor to ceiling window where they toss him out through a shower of glass. The president screams the goofy holler as he plummets, crashing into the windshield of a car, painting it with his blood.
"Nice one little brother!" Yancey said as the brothers slap each other a high five.
"Thanks Yancey!" said Fry. "This has got to be the first time we ever worked together for something!"
"I'm so proud of you boys!" said Mr. Fry. "You too Fry!"
"Thanks dad!" said Fry.
The family's joy is cut short by the sound of a gun being cocked for battle. They turn towards the door where the vice-president is holding a shotgun on them. "Well," he said, "I guess that makes me the new president now. And I have you to thank for it."
"Talk about ingratitude!" said Yancey. "We kill the president and you thank us by pointing a gun at us?"
"This is even worse than politicians breaking their promises after getting elected!" said Fry folding his arms over his chest.
But before the new president can fire, a baseball bat is smashed over the top of his head. There is a sickening crunch as the top of his skull shatters into his brain. As he falls to the floor, Mrs. Fry steps into the office, holding the remains of her weapon, much to her family's happiness. "Now that's what I call a grand slam!" she said.
The rest of the more important members of the staff are taken by surprise as the windows in the board meeting room shatter and some of Yivo's tentacles grab them and hoist them out towards the window.
"Let go you freak!" one of the board members screams.
"Very poor choice of words!" Yivo says as his tentacles release their grip, sending the remaining board members falling to their deaths, all screaming the goofy holler.
Within fifteen minutes after the attack began, it's all over. Everyone in the FOX network is dead. But Futurama's revenge isn't complete yet. Once everyone is gathered outside the building, Bender activates the detonator and the bombs he and his robotic companions planted throughout the building detonate. Every window in the building shatters, showering broken glass all over the street. Everyone cheers as the building begins to fall in a giant rising cloud of dust and smoke.
"I love the smell of victory in the evening!" said Marianne.
Amy takes a sniff and plugs her nose in disgust. "It smells like sweat!"
But then, the entire crowd notices that the building is collapsing in their direction. Panicking, everyone turns and runs, but they don't get far before a thousand people are flattened in the rubble of the ruins of the FOX Broadcasting Company, but not before they are all overcome by the clouds of dust and smoke. A thousand pairs of lungs inhale a lungful of dust and debris before internal organs are crushed and every bone in their bodies break from thousands of tons of concrete, steel, and wood.
Now that's what I call a "crushing blow!" Looks like Mr. Groening wasn't kidding!
All good things come to an end. What with the final episode (for real this time) of Futurama having aired itself, the series is one of the few that has been cancelled, only to be renewed at a later date, only to be cancelled again.
But faithful fans, while this is the end of the futurama cartoon series, its characters will live on forever. In fan fiction. In fan art. In fan comics. As long as Futurama has a fanbase, the series will never truly die, and neither shall its characters.
After all, like I said, "Cartoons aren't real life."
The End