Puck has been writing a song for his composition class for three weeks before he realizes what it's about. He freaks out in one of the basement practice rooms and bending the music stand when he throws it against the wall. This can't be happening to him. Not now. Not after he made it perfectly clear where he stood and even went as far as setting Kurt up with his new boyfriend.
Jesus, he's such an idiot. It's not like this is the first time he's been through this, either. No one seems to remember that while Puck was dating Santana, he set up Finn and Quinn. At the time he thought Quinn was super hot, like a pixie, and that if she stayed single, sooner or later he'd do something stupid and Santana would rip off his junk with her bare hands in revenge.
Crushing on Quinn was one thing. They were in high school and Quinn was a hot girl. Crushing on his (male) college roommate is a whole different story.
Once he's done throwing his fit and bends the music stand back as well as he can (the metal will always have a creased scar), Puck picks up his guitar and sits with it in his lap so he can think. Point number one: Kurt is awesome and finally starting to look happy again and Puck would just fuck all that up if it turns out, whoops, the whole dick thing is just not something he's into. Point number two: when that realization happens, one of them is going to move out and Puck will have to deal with shitty roommates again. Point number three: Puck still needs to finish writing this song, because the draft is due tomorrow.
He decides he needs a plan. He decides he first has to finish this song, only change the pronouns so it's about a girl. Second, he locks up his guitar in his instrument locker and steps out into the late afternoon sun, heading through the chilly Boston wind to the QSA that Kurt pointed out to him the first week of class.
Third, he finds a dude there who's tallish and lean and wearing a vest like the ones Kurt wears sometimes. He introduces himself as Doug. Puck says his name is Sam and can they go somewhere to talk?
He decides that as long as he pretends Doug is Kurt, the whole dick thing is definitely not a problem.
The problem is that when he gets back to the dorm room, Kurt and Eric are snuggled together watching a musical and there's nothing Puck can do about it that won't make him look like a complete asshole. He collapses onto his bed, exhausted, and tries to forget everything but the Patriots' starting line up.