Author's note: thanks so much for the reviews! :D

But, ladies and gentlemen, this monster of a story is coming to an end...

For a month, Herzog was actually content with his homely routine; wake up with Agnes next to him, make her breakfast, kiss her goodbye and wish her a good day at the museum, spend the rest of the day alone at home reading archaeology articles in German or playing in Agnes' laptop, make her dinner and have it ready when she came back, go to bed.

For Agnes everything was perfect; she had never felt that happy before and she was sure that, now that there was this official thing between her and Herzog, he would finally settle down and stay safely at her place. The young woman absolutely loved to go back home and find him there, safe, waiting, asking her if she had had a good day, making her feel wanted and important... Herzog basically made her love her life.

But then Herzog began to feel bored, because he was used to live with the permanent excitement and adrenaline of war times, and useless, because while Agnes went out to work he had nothing important to do. He did enjoy all that intimacy, and he loved to listen to Agnes' heartbeat, and he really liked to make her feel good. Yet he wanted some war action...

So one morning, little after Agnes leaving for work, Herzog put on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a motorcycle jacket and combat boots and left. He had the keys; now that he was the whole day at home, Agnes didn't walk around with her keys anymore.

Herzog presumed that was a particularly rigorous winter, since the snow outside reached a little above his ankles. He took a moment to stay there, in front of the house, just inhaling the freezing air. Not that he needed it, but it was somehow comforting not to be surrounded by walls. With a content grunt, he walked to the woods and up the mountain, slowly and looking around like a child in an amusement park. He liked leafless trees, it reminded him of his time in the trenches in the Great War, and he had somehow learned to admire the beauty of scorched, dead leafless trees.

A raven cawed on the branches above him and Herzog stopped to look at it. The raven looked back at him, curiously, before spreading its wings and fly to another tree. The Standartenführer proceeded his way up the mountain, calmly, until he noticed someone walking to him:

"I thought I'd never see those beautiful eyes of yours again," Sascha said with a smile and came to a halt next to Herzog. "And those trousers make your ass look big, I'm sure Agnes likes that!"

"Watch your tongue, young man..." Herzog grunted and held Sascha's chin between his thumb and index finger. "What happened to your lip?"

"How did you even notice?" The blond-haired zombie barked out a laugh. "You're doing it wrong, men of your age are supposed to lose sight!"

"I told you once my sight was fine, but as usual you didn't listen," The Standartenführer smiled and forced Sascha to tilt his head. "What happened?"

"A New Year party isn't a party without a fight, and I let Konrad hit me before knocking him out."

Herzog rolled his eyes and let go of Sascha's chin. The younger soldier chuckled and placed a friendly hand on Herzog's broad shoulder, rising an inquiring eyebrow. Herzog just smiled, a genuine smile, and that was all Sascha needed to know. The blond-haired zombie smiled back and they walked together to a nearby rock outcrop and sat on a large, dark rock:

"I'm bored, Sascha..." Herzog confessed and his smile died, slowly, and the Standartenführer looked at his boots. "I think I can't stay quiet in the same place for long..."

Sascha frowned and looked at his officer. When he had seen that smile on Herzog's face, he had actually believed the good old Herzog he had known in 1938 was back, the innocent happy man who had believed blindly he would get married and keep on active duty like one thing wouldn't influence the other. Now, looking at Herzog's face, to all of the little wrinkles across it, to the tired expression of his eyes, Sascha realised Herzog would never be that innocent man again; the Standartenführer had just realised happiness wasn't that simple to achieve, and like the stubborn bastard he was, Herzog would keep on a restless quest for his ideal dream of happiness. A quest that Sascha would do everything to stop, because Herzog's quests usually made him blind to the reality around him, to the things he had already achieved.

It still amazed (and frightened) Sasha how such a brilliant mind in the battlefield was so dumb out of the theater of operations:

"Oh yes you can, old man!" the Ordonnanz exclaimed. "You have Agnes, you have the peasants terrified for the rest of their miserable lives and you have your troops by your side. There's nothing else to do besides enjoying your eternal life."

"How can I enjoy my eternal life sitting on a puff, alone in a house, doing absolutely nothing productive?" Herzog frowned and looked at the younger zombie. "We must gather and discuss a new attack, we have to smash those bastards before they regroup and reorganise and receive reinforcements, we-"

"Geez, Herzog! What about Agnes?"

A moment of silence. Then Herzog shrugged:

"She's fine. Still working on the museum. In fact, tonight I'm going to ask her where the last box is and retrieving that box is going to be our priority before attacking anything else and-"

"Götter, warum?" (Gods, why?) Sascha wailed and looked up, to the cloudy sky. He unstrapped his helmet and pulled it off his head, then offered Herzog a pleading look. "Can't you just sit down and relax, rest, whatever is there similar to that? Are you annoyed by the fact that Agnes has a job?"

"I am proud of her!" Herzog exclaimed, aggrieved, and slapped Sascha's head. "I like useful and capable people! Agnes is useful and capable!"

"Then what's wrong with you? If you don't want to be alone at home, you can move your muscular ass over here and spend quality time with me and then go back home to Agnes! There, easy!"

"I hope that with «quality time» you mean «planning military operations of extreme importance»," Herzog grunted and crossed his arms. Sascha facepalmed and dragged his hand down his face, exasperatedly. He then knelt in front of Herzog and began to speak, slowly, like the older man was a very, very, very dumb child:

"Herzog, old friend, all my fucking life I wanted to see you happy. COMPLETELY happy. You were just half-happy with us, because you wanted to get married. You didn't get married and continued your miserable existence half-happy, or maybe just one third-happy. Do you think I enjoyed dying knowing you weren't completely happy?" Sascha held Herzog's forearms and shook him, slowly. "Now you have your only chance to be COMPLETELY happy, and you are about to throw it away like the little idiot you always are when you realise you'll have to stay away from the battlefield! I am not letting you do that! Never again! I'll tell Agnes to use her archaeological powers to hide all of our weapons because, if she can find, I'm sure she can hide stuff too!"

"And tell me, genius, how am I going to be COMPLETELY happy not being a soldier?"

"Being a goddamned husband!"

"I can be a husband and a soldier at the same time!"

"Have you talked about this with Agnes?"

"No..."

Sascha sighed tiredly and shook Herzog again:

"Herzog... you were willing to get married and leave your wife and children behind-"

"If the ordinary soldier did it, so why shouldn't I?"

"-but now you have no reasons to leave Agnes' side!" Sascha paused and his blue eyes met Herzog's. "I understand the military was your life... but now you have a chance for something different, you're one lucky bastard! Go for it!"

"I can have Agnes and I can have my troops," Herzog concluded stubbornly. Sascha groaned and let go of the Standartenführer's arms. He stood up, shaking his head, and sat beside Herzog on the rock. "By no means I'll leave my men behind!"

"If that's the problem, you can either take us to Agnes' place or you can bring her to our place!" Sascha clapped his hands. "Then we all can live happily and peacefully and it must be really funny to see you and Agnes kiss because of the height difference! I bet she needs a ladder!"

Herzog burst out laughing, because the thought of Agnes needing a ladder to kiss him was amusing and also because he didn't want Sascha to understand he had no idea if now, that there was an official thing between he and Agnes, their deal was invalid and he could turn Agnes into the same kind of creature he had turned his troops into... and he didn't want to give Sascha another reason to be lectured about.

"Can you find me a map of Europe, with Russia included?" Herzog asked Agnes when she lied next to him and began to trace circle-like patterns with her nails on his chest. She nodded, obviously more interested in the mass of muscles and scars before her than in Herzog's need for a map. "Gut. When?"

"What is the map for?" Agnes sighed and looked up at his face. He had a little smile and the young woman moved closer to kiss him. He wrapped an arm around her waist:

"To better plan a new big offensive!" Herzog explained innocently and closed his eyes... but the kiss never came.

The Standartenführer cracked one eye open, curiously, just to see Agnes looking at him with narrowed eyes:

"What do you mean with that? Wasn't that last attack your big offensive?" the young woman asked and changed to a sitting position. Herzog remained lying on his back and nodded, slowly. "So... you'll just leave again?"

"I just have to finish the rest of the peasants! And then I thought my troops and me could attack that other district you went shopping to, the lonely cottages are a perfect target! And after that I would have enough «volunteers» to launch a campaign to conquer the entire country, which would give me more «volunteers» to proceed in a Blitzkrieg operation through Sweden and Finland, and that would allow me to invade those Bolshevik bastards by the back and catch them off guard, and it wouldn't take me long to conquer Moscow and-"

"Are... are you serious?" Agnes laughed nervously, not sure if he was just joking or actually being serious. She had already noticed Herzog wasn't very fond of staying quiet for a long time... but now they had a relationship, a thing, whatever!, they hadn't discussed the terms yet, she wanted the Standartenführer by her side... not trying to take over Norway, and then the rest of Europe!:

"Of course I am, mein Schatz! But first my men and I are going to retrieve that last box! It's on the second floor of the museum, right?" Herzog replied animatedly and raised his hand to fondle Agnes' cheek. Yet she slapped his hand away:

"I thought you were going to stay with me!" she complained. Herzog frowned:

"Of course I'll stay with you! When I'm not fighting to achieve complete victory!"

And that was how Herzog ended up sleeping in the puffs.

The next morning Agnes left without a word, and little after she left Herzog dressed the same clothes of the day before and made his way up the mountain. This time he only found Sascha when he reached the cave; the Ordonnanz was standing at the entrance, with his hands behind his back, and he happily trotted to Herzog when the Standartenführer approached the cave:

"Trouble in paradise?" the blond-haired zombie asked. Herzog made a face and shoved his hands into the pockets of the jeans:

"She made me sleep in the couch! I mean, the big pillows in the living room!" Herzog told. Sascha burst out laughing hysterically and chocked on his own blood. He kept laughing and spitting blood and eventually fell on his knees. The Standartenführer looked around, embarrassed. "I honestly don't know why I keep talking to you!"

"Because you like me and you know one of my favourite hobbies is laughing!" Sascha coughed blood, chuckled and stood up. He looked at Herzog and burst out laughing again.

A couple of minutes later, when Sascha was calmer, both zombies made their way to Herzog's little chamber and sat shoulder-to-shoulder on the field bed. Herzog crossed his arms and frowned:

"I told her about my plans and then she was suddenly mad at me! She started to yell and to hit me with the pillow and said I was going to sleep in the puffs!" Herzog complained, completely oblivious to what had infuriated the small and fragile woman to the point of granting her the ability to expulse him from the bed. "I don't understand, Agnes was supposed to be glad! Women are glad when their men go to the battlefield! Glad and proud!"

"Well, Agnes isn't," Sascha giggled and did his best not to laugh again. "Being in a relationship isn't like commanding an Einsatzgruppe; it can't be all you want."

"Excuse me, I've always asked for my soldiers' opinion and-"

"Yeah yeah, but in a relationship there isn't a commander and a subordinate, Herzog! In a relationship you share the power and most of times you don't do everything you want, because you have to think about your better half!" Sascha explained patiently. "For example, if you attacking the peasants makes Agnes unhappy, so don't do it! She'll be happy and you won't have to sleep in the..." The rest of the phrase was lost in a bad contained laugh. Herzog narrowed his eyes:

"You do everything you want, no matter what Fritz says!" he accused. Sascha's laughter died and he narrowed his eyes too:

"I'm kinky, and that's none of your business, and most of times it's me doing everything that little idiot wants!"

"You, my friend, are an hypocrite! You tell me to do everything you don't!"

"Hey hey, it's not like that! I told you to tell Agnes you love her, and then I went straight to Fritz and told him I love him," Sascha puffed his chest proudly. "And it's just like they say; «do as I say, not as I do»!"

Herzog raised a hairless eyebrow... and yet again he had to admit that, if Sascha had given him good advise in the past, so he could keep giving him good advise. He sighed tiredly:

"So, what do I do?"

"You forget about the peasants."

"And what if I plan a brilliant final blow?"

"But you are stubborn! Well, if you plan a final blow, within some months you'll be planning another one!"

Herzog's shoulders slumped; Sascha was right... The Standartenführer shook his head helplessly:

"I can't do this, Sascha. I can't stay away from my troops," he grumbled.

The younger soldier opened his mouth to yell at the other zombie, because if Herzog was admitting defeat, so it meant the Ragnarök was coming and Sascha hadn't had enough fun to witness the end of times, and to stop the end of times and have fun for a little longer, he had to stop Herzog from admitting defeat. The point was... he couldn't. Herzog was right. Herzog without his troops would be only a half-happy Herzog again, and Sascha didn't want that. Yet Herzog with his troops would upset Agnes, and an upset Agnes was a bad thing.

Sascha let out a barrage of profanity and for a brief moment wished Herzog had died once and for all; at least he would stay quiet and have his well-deserved rest:

"So you better find a very good excuse for Agnes on how you can't chose between her and us!" Sascha grumbled; he really needed to think about something else to tell Herzog, otherwise the Standartenführer was doomed to forever sleep in the puffs... or to probably be kicked out from the young woman's place.

Agnes had a bad day; loud tourists with loud children, her boss showed up to inform her that her salary was going to decrease because the museum didn't have enough tourists and she would have to come up with some interesting event to bring more people to the museum. Also, she nearly went off the road due to the ice on the asphalt... twice... and at the second time she hit her head on the wheel and opened a little cut on her forehead. And it was way too cold, in spite of her polar clothes, and the AC of her jeep appeared to be broken.

Not to mention how frustrated and sad and angry she was because she couldn't keep Herzog quiet. Was she that boring? Didn't he want to stay with her? And the day their deal was over and he killed her so that she could permanently join his troops, would she find herself alone in that dark, humid cave because he was too entertained playing WWII with his men?

With an annoyed sigh, she finally found herself before the door of her house. She knocked at the door and almost didn't need to wait before Herzog opened the door and pulled her inside. And maybe he was holding her arm with a little too much strength:

"How was your day, mein Schatz?" he asked with a charming smile. Or an attempt of a charming smile. Agnes looked at him for a moment, blinking her eyes slowly, then frowned:

"Compared to your glorious plans for victory, my day isn't worthy of being voiced," the young woman replied and shook her arm, trying to release from his grip. However by now she should know that Herzog didn't let go of what he laid his hands on...:

"I'm sorry about yesterday..." he mumbled and finally released her arm. He watched as she undressed the snow jacket and toed off her boots. "But it is my duty to-"

"What are we, Hein?" Agnes interrupted, annoyed, and crossed her arms, not really in the mood to listen to his avenging musings. He hesitated and widened his blue eyes a little, and that only made the young woman angrier. She even opened her mouth to yell at him because damn!, they had a relationship... thing... whatever!, they hadn't sorted it out yet, and instead of worrying about that, Herzog was more interested in happily proceeding his killing spree. Seemed Agnes could add «the object of my affections apparently prefers his frozen stinky dead troops over me» to the crappy happenings of her bad day. That hurt, a lot. Agnes thought about telling him that maybe Erika had done the right thing, because afterall it had been all his fault, but he spoke before she did:

"What happened to your head? How did you got that?" And before she could notice he had dragged her to the bathroom and was carefully cleaning the cut on her forehead with a cotton ball soaked in oxygenated water.

And Agnes just sighed tiredly, all anger replaced by sorrow; she didn't want another argument and another fight with Herzog, that would only be another reason for him to leave. Seemed she would have to live with the fact that, no matter all the pretty things he whispered at her ear, she was not his priority:

"Slippery road... I hit my head on the wheel..." she explained with a shrug. Herzog frowned:

"I can drive you to the museum and pick you up again to bring you home," he volunteered. "I don't want you to have an accident, mein Schatz!"

"It's fine..." She sighed again and when he was done cleaning the cut she went to the bedroom to change clothes.

Herzog knew he had messed up. He was absolutely sure of that when, in the next day, Agnes came home and gave him a pile of printed papers with maps of that area and the security system of the museum. The Standartenführer was momently too excited to remember he had messed up, so he dared to ask Agnes about that map of Europe with Russia included.

Agnes then yelled at him something about him being shot down before even reaching Oslo, and even if he managed to successfully cross Norway, Sweden and Finland he would be shot down by the Russian army; or worse, he would be taken to some sort of Kasputin Yar for weird terrestrial stuff. Herzog then told her how he was sadly shocked with her lack of trust on his military genius, and that granted him another night in the puffs.

Herzog began to hate those puffs with a passion, so on the following day, a Saturday, he decided to get his spot in the air mattress again by making Agnes breakfast and ask her why she was so upset about his new military operation.

And so, carrying a tray with toasts and a mug of chocolate milk, Herzog sneaked into Agnes' bedroom, placed the tray on the floor, sat at the edge of the mattress and shook her by the shoulder, a bad habit he hadn't lost yet:

"Engel, wach auf," (Angel, wake up.) he said. Agnes was sleeping with her back turned at him and she stirred. Slowly, the young woman turned around and cast Herzog an utterly annoyed look:

"What?" she grumbled. The Standartenführer frowned and tilted his head:

"You've been crying. Why?"

"Oh, but you not only are emotionally constipated sometimes! Your reasoning is affected, too!" Agnes exclaimed tiredly and changed to a sitting position. Of course she had been crying, she had spent the entire night thinking on a way to convince Herzog to at least give up on his crazy idea of leaving that area and take over Scandinavia and Russia. What had made her cry was that she didn't know if he would answer the way she expected him to... The young woman crossed her arms and looked at that pair of blue eyes that had fascinated her from the beginning. "Hein, if you want to proceed your glorious military campaigns, I don't understand why you're wasting your time with me-"

"I love you!" he exclaimed immediately and straightened his back:

"-so the thing is: you either give up on that crazy idea of yours of leaving this area, or you can dress your uniform and get out of my life once and for all," Agnes paused, watching him wide his eyes in sheer horror. She just couldn't figure out what terrified him so much; if having to stay quiet, if letting her go. She bit her lower lip and added. "I want a partner, Hein. I want someone to be here with me. I don't want to be left alone in that cave up there. I helped you to get more soldiers and to kill the men who killed your men. I didn't even mention Erik again," Herzog flinched and snarled lowly. "I simply let you in my life... but in situations like this I wonder if you've let me in yours. Not that you're alive anymore, but..."

She just sighed and looked down. She felt tired.

Herzog looked at her, speechless, and after her words sank he imagined Sascha making a face and yelling at him for being so stupid and selfish and the ultimate tard. His imaginary Sascha was very, very angry. And right, because damn Sascha, he was always right! Seemed Herzog couldn't do everything he wanted.

What surprised him the most was how quickly he accepted that. It could only mean he actually had real feelings for that small, fragile and miraculously patient young woman. With a sigh, Herzog crawled to Agnes, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down, so that she was half-lying on top of him:

"Very well, I'll resume my warfare to this area," he said. Agnes widened her hazel eyes. "You have my word. But I won't take responsibilities if my «volunteers» accidentally invade the rest of the country, and then Sweden, and then Finland, and then Russia."

"You're just helpless..." Agnes laughed and rested her chin on his chest. "Big dead goof..."

"A big dead goof very in love with you," he replied and started to play with her hair, affectionately.

Fritz raised his hand above his head and bit a smile that was spreading on his lips. Little later Sascha's head emerged from the tunnel the blue-eyed zombie was digging to connect his post to Fritz's. When the blond head appeared, Fritz slapped it with all of his strength, sending Sascha face-first into the snow.

The blue-eyed zombie cursed and ran a hand through his messy hair:

"Stupid..." he grumbled. Fritz stuck his tongue out at him. "I feel like talking."

"I'm all ears."

"I know," Sascha crawled to the snow den that was Fritz's post and laid on his back, resting his head on his comrade's legs. "I'm worried about Herzog, he's messing up things with Agnes again. You know Fritz, when I noticed how much he liked her, I thought he would finally calm down... that we all would be safe. But no! That big bald bastard became even bolder! I know there's no better commander than him... but what if something goes wrong? If something happens to him, we're dead! I don't want to die again Fritz, that one time was enough!"

"Tell him that," Fritz suggested and tried once more to tame Sascha's rebel hair. Sascha reached out for Fritz's helmet, on the ground next to them, and started to drum on it:

"I already told him to stay quiet, he came up with this talk on how he could have both Agnes and his troops... and to be honest, I know that he would be extremely unhappy if he never fired a gun again. So, what do I do? I don't want to see the guy hurt again..."

"We could tell her to forge information, like that all of a sudden the peasants fled," Fritz shrugged. "I'm sure he believes whatever she says."

"Yeah, Agnes is his informant," Sascha chuckled, but then he became extremely serious and widened his eyes. He changed to a sitting position, turned around and held Fritz by the shoulders. "That's it! Fritz, you're a fucking genius!"

"I'm a fucking genius!" The brown-eyed zombie nodded, even though he had no idea of why he was such a genius:

"Exactly! We kill Agnes and bring her up here! The moment she can't give Herzog precise information, he won't risk anymore! He's going to stay quiet!" Sascha shook Fritz by the shoulders. It all made sense; the moment Herzog had started to trust Agnes, he had shamelessly attacked the peasants in the heart of their territory. However, he just took his men to such a battlefield because he had an intelligence service. That taken away from him, he would never risk his troops like that again. Nor himself. Sascha knew the Standartenführer well enough to be sure about that.

But Fritz frowned:

"Kill our little midget? We can't do that!" he complained. Sascha's smile died and he narrowed his eyes:

"Oh yes we can! If we tell her that's the only way to keep Herzog quiet, she won't even think twice. She wants him around as much as we do, and in one piece."

"Herzog won't be pleased if we show up with Agnes' dead body..."

"He has considered it before, but..." Sascha licked away the excess of blood dripping from his mouth. "He took all these months to finally admit his feelings, so I'm guessing he'll take even more time to finally kill Agnes. In fact, I think he'll only do it when she starts to get wrinkles!" The blue-eyed zombie shook his head. "That's a lot of time with lots of dangerous information."

"But what will the others think, Sascha?" Fritz frowned and shrugged Sascha's hands off:

"They'll instantly agree with me, because they all know what happens if Herzog gets killed. Besides... the Reich is no more, remember? All those things Agnes told us... the world seems a pretty fucked up place right now. I don't want to waste my time with it-" Sascha smiled again and held Fritz's chin between his thumb and index finger. "-when there are more interesting things to do."

"So, how do we kill Agnes?"

"I talk to Herzog about how good it would be to have her around and in the meantime you hang Dietrich off the cliff! Then while Herzog is busy saving poor little Dietrich and lecturing Konrad for not taking care of him, you go tell Agnes she must die for the greater good!"

Both zombies nodded before such a brilliant plan.

Having Herzog's word on how he wouldn't leave the area actually reassured Agnes. They spent a nice and quiet weekend but, once she drove off to the museum, the Standartenführer hurried to run up the mountain with the plan and the alarm system of the museum. Once he crossed the forested area halfway up the mountain, Fritz jumped from the higher branches of a tree to the snow and went to look for Dietrich.

Herzog found Sascha sitting on a rock near the cave. The blond-haired zombie raised an eyebrow:

"No more trouble in paradise?"

"I can plan a decent operation to retrieve the box from the museum!" Herzog announced, politely ignoring Sascha. He sat shoulder-to-shoulder with his Ordonnanz and showed him the papers he had brought. "The two of us could easily do this!"

"Taking me on a date, uh? Sounds good!"

So Herzog and Sascha started to discuss how to do it.

In the meantime, in the northern slope of the mountain, Fritz had just nicely asked Dietrich and Konrad to cooperate with him. Dietrich thought that hanging off the cliff with intestine-ropes wrapped around his waist sounded like a really cool thing. On the other hand, Konrad wasn't willing to be lectured by Herzog about something that wasn't even his fault! Fritz kept using his best arguments, but Konrad didn't really want to face an angry Herzog:

"Kon, come ooooon..." Dietrich mumbled when Fritz was about to give up and try his luck with the Panzer all Konrad did was punching his comrade's arm:

"No! I'm not doing that! I don't want to be lectured! Worse, what if the ropes break and you fall?"

"You always say I might fly away in windy days, so the wind will probably help me to land safely," Dietrich concluded innocently. Konrad groaned:

"But you are so stupid..."

"Kon, come on!"

"Yeah Kon, stop being sissy," Fritz teased.

Konrad made an ugly face, but he finally nodded, agreeing with Sascha's ridiculous plan.

At the same time Herzog was happily planning an assault to the museum, clueless of his soldiers' shenanigans. When he and Sascha finally had a plan, he decided to tell his Ordonnanz he had successfully convinced Agnes to allow him to proceed his military operations... at least in that area. That was Sascha's cue to innocently ask Herzog:

"So, when are you going to kill her and move up here?" To which Herzog babbled a poor excuse of how he hadn't had time to think about it, and to which Sascha enumerated the various advantages of having a dead Agnes.

Sascha himself didn't know how he managed, but he successfully entertained Herzog for the whole day, and when it was starting to get dark, Fritz came running and stopped next to Herzog and saluted:

"Herr Standartenführer, Dietrich is hanging off the cliff," he announced. Herzog narrowed his eyes, incredulously:

"Was?"

"Konrad just asked me to call you, Herr Standartenführer."

Herzog sighed and stood up. Sascha stood up too:

"I'll go with you," he volunteered.

Both zombies walked away and, when they were out of sight and hearing range, Fritz bolted down the mountain.

Agnes stopped her jeep, got out, made her way to the door, knocked... but no one answered. She frowned and knocked again. Nothing.

The lights were out. Herzog hadn't opened the door. He had probably gone visiting his troops.

It started to snow, gently.

The young woman cursed and decided to get Herzog a copy of the keys, so things like this wouldn't happen again.

Suddenly, she heard steps and she looked at the woods, hopefully. But instead of Herzog it was Fritz who came from among the trees and trotted to her, smiling:

"Acnes!" he saluted:

"Sasha's sidekick!" She stuck her tongue out, but hurried to hide the lower half of her face on her scarf again; it was too cold for her liking. "Where's Herzog?"

"Aw, Dietrich decided to hang out a little..." Fritz explained innocently and laughed. Agnes frowned, concerned, but Fritz winked reassuringly. "He's fine," Then he adopted a serious expression. "We need to talk. Sascha's been thinking, because he wants Herzog to be happy and quiet with you around... so you must die."

"I WHAT?" Agnes was so taken aback she even stepped back, suddenly afraid that Fritz would point his Luger at her and pull the trigger. But the brown-eyed zombie raised his hands, showing he wasn't going to hurt her:

"Exactly, Acnes! It's time to clear you!" Fritz giggled and Agnes rolled her eyes. "But really... you have to die. If you don't, Herzog will keep asking information about the enemy, and you'll keep informing him because you're a really dumb couple, and he'll keep attacking the peasants and leaving you alone. And Sascha doesn't want him to eventually get shot down... and I'm sure you don't want that, too. Because, you see... he dies, we all die."

The young woman widened her eyes, realisation hitting her clearer than ever. For a moment she just blinked her eyes, slowly, then cast Fritz a scared and hurried look:

"What do I do, now?" she whispered. Fritz shrugged:

"Ask him to kill you." He smiled. "I'm sure you won't have a bloody and painful death like us! And being temporarily dead isn't that bad, it's like that stage of sleep when you're unconscious. And then you wake up... and keep on living! With the difference that your heart doesn't beat anymore, and you don't get tired, and you don't feel pain or temperature or hunger or thirst!"

Agnes nodded, slowly, and smiled shyly. That had been her goal, right? Officially joining the troops as their archaeologist. But now Herzog was there with her, and the people she considered friends lived on the top of the mountain, just a few hours away from her house, and she actually liked her job at the museum, in spite of being unable to make field work. So all things considered, life didn't seem that bad. Agnes had even started considering getting more piercings, and maybe more tattoos, and if she was lucky she would even convince Herzog to go make her company when she went to have the new piercings and tattoos.

But Sascha was right, the little bastard! Herzog was only going to stop killing people when she died!

Then Herzog came out of the forest, running and already with the keys in his hand:

"I'm so sorry, Agnes!" he exclaimed and stopped next to her. He hesitated a little and Fritz pretended to be very interested in his boots. That gave Herzog the chance to kiss the young woman.

Once inside the house, the Standartenführer explained her that «silly Dietrich decided it was a smart idea to swing on the cliff and silly Konrad supported the idea». Agnes laughed and managed to push the death subject to the back of her mind.

However, while watching the young woman sleep, Herzog started to think about it.

Weeeee, review?