A/N: An idiot set a fire in my school today (but no one was hurt, and school will be back in session tomorrow), so you all get another chapter since I was let out early :) This chapter is short, but I ended it where I did for a reason (try not to hate me-I warned you), which you'll all see soon, I promise!

Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot.

"We push and pull, and I fall down sometimes, I'm not letting go, you hold the other line," –'Breathe In, Breathe Out", Mat Kearney

The drive to work was silent, but not in an uncomfortable way. Jethro drove, and Jenny gazed out the window, letting her thoughts drift in all different directions.

She felt comfortable with things, for the first time in what felt like forever. It was almost impossible to believe that this was what it had been like before he'd left; before everything had changed.

When they arrived at the building Jenny turned to Jethro before the car was even off, folding her arms over her chest. Jethro turned off the car and pulled out the keys, turning towards her with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, Jenny?" he asked, amusement glittering in his eyes.

"This…thing," she said, gesturing between them, not sure what to call it just yet. "Whatever it is, I think it should stay between just the two of us, at least for a little while. I won't be telling SecNav, and I'd prefer if the team didn't know."

"That's fine," Jethro said, nodding. "Whatever you want Jen, we'll do it. What about Ducky?"

"I don't know how much we'll be able to get past him," Jenny replied, shrugging slightly, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "He knew the first two times, I doubt we'll be able to pull the wool over his eyes now either."

"Whatever happens, happens," Jethro answered, and Jenny let a small smile touch her lips.

"I think I can handle that," she replied softly, reaching over and kissing his cheek gently. Stepping out of the car, she stretched her back and then headed for the elevator, feeling Jethro's presence behind her as she walked. His hand ghosted along her lower back, and she let him get away with it because for the first time in a long time, she felt safe.

A few hours later, Jenny was in her office reading over files when Cynthia informed her that SecNav was on teleconference in MTAC for her, and it was urgent. Confused as to what the problem could be, she stood in front of her boss moments later, his stern face dominating the screen.

"What can I do for you sir?" she asked, standing with her arms behind her back, her fingers twisting nervously.

"I just got word of the Maddie Tyler case," SecNav said, cutting straight to the point. "Have we lost it?"

"Sir, Maddie Tyler's testimony sealed the case shut," Jenny informed him after swallowing heavily, her fingers clenched together tightly. "Rudi Haas won't be getting out of prison anytime soon thanks to her."

"But the trial won't finish until tomorrow correct?" SecNav asked, his gaze penetrating. "There's still time for them to throw out her testimony because she was hospitalized for mental illness, am I right?"

"You are correct sir," Jenny said through clenched teeth, her hands shaking behind her back. "But I doubt that they'll throw her testimony out, considering that she's hurting herself because of what that man did to her."

"I'm well aware that you know what she's going through, Director," SecNav said, but there was no understanding in his voice, and it only angered Jenny further. "But your job is to this agency, and to insure that there are no bad reflections on the agency."

"Sir, I am aware of what my job is," Jenny said, working very hard to keep her temper. "And I am not letting my past interfere with this case, or my professional duties."

"I should hope not. You're a very capable Director Jenny. I wouldn't want you to mess up one case over your personal feelings involved with this," SecNav said, and Jenny felt her heart stop and her throat close. "I'll leave you to finishing this case. Keep me informed."

With that he signed off, and Jenny stood in the darkness of MTAC, not really believing what had just happened. Had her boss just thrown her past back in her face, and not even thought about what it meant to her?

Who told someone their past didn't matter? Why would he ask her set her personal feelings aside? Did he think she was incapable of being professional?

She walked back to her office silently, trying hard not to let it show how upset she was. She sat behind her desk, her hands folded in her lap as she stared out the window. She tried to keep her mind blank, but found that she failed, as all she could think about was all the times she'd been let down by the men in her life.

Bobby. Her father. Jethro. SecNav.

Was there anyone she could still trust?

Closing her eyes, she drew in a shaking breath, trying to calm her racing heart. She'd just barely regulated in breathing when her door was slammed open, and she turned, swallowing.

"I'm sorry Director, he wouldn't listen," Cynthia apologized, and Jenny shook her head.

"It's fine Cynthia, Agent Gibbs rarely follows the rules," she told her assistant, and Cynthia nodded before closing the door behind her, leaving Jenny and Jethro alone. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Yeah, tell me how your meeting with SecNav went," Jethro said, not bothering with any greeting or formality.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Jenny replied, crossing her legs at the ankles as sat forward slightly in her chair, her elbows resting on the table. Jethro frowned, and she couldn't find it within herself to care at the moment.

"Jen, what the hell happened?"

"Why do you feel the need to know?" she cried, pushing herself up so that her palms were flat on the desk. "Why do men always think that they have to know everything?"

Jethro looked at Jenny, confused. What was she talking about?

Her meeting with SecNav must not have gone well, that was the only explanation. She'd been fine when he'd brought her up to her office this morning. Now, she was not fine.

"Jenny, talk to me," he said, and that only set her off.

"Talk to you? Why would I talk to you? No one understands; no one gets it. My life was a living hell when I was in high school! I spent practically every day wishing it was over, and I contemplated ending it. Then I found Lizzie's body. No one knows how that feels! How do you move on from finding your best friend's body in her bedroom? Do you even have the possibility of living the same way you did before? No one gets that!" Jenny cried, throwing her hands up and letting the words rip, not even caring what they did. She was so empty; she was so drained of everything.

She just wanted someone to be as miserable as she was.

"I understand, Jenny," Jethro said, his voice quiet as he kept his gaze trained on the desk. "Because I know what's it like to lose my entire world. I know what it's like to spend the days looking down the barrel of a gun, contemplating pulling the trigger. I know you want to feel isolated Jenny-you want to feel like no one else can ever feel the same pain you are, or that no one will ever know what you're going through. But they do. I do. And if you would just accept that, and want the help, then maybe things would get better. But you can't even look past your own bubble of pain to even attempt it. I want to help. But if you want me gone, say the words, Jenny. Because I'll be gone before you can blink."

With that he left the room, leaving Jenny wide-eyed and speechless. She didn't know what she'd done.

But she couldn't help but think that she'd live to regret it.