Chapter XXV: Surprising, Isn't It?
"MALLY!"
"GAE! MALLY!"
The Mad Hatter and the March Hare's calls echoed throughout Tulgey Woods.
Both of them had seen how upset – that word being an understatement – Mallymkun the Dormouse had been when she had run out of Marmoreal at the ruined Danksderim Day ball.
She had still not returned to the tea table, the day following the day after, and, naturally, the two of them were very worried.
Especially with a certain cat clearly stalking her…
They had agreed to meet at a tum-tum tree near the hill, which sloped down from the woods to the tea table.
Both were walking backwards as they returned to the tree in question.
"MALLY!" they cried out in unison, then, hearing two voices, turned to see the other owner, and yelped with surprise when they realized who it was.
"Oh…Thackery, it's just you…"
"Aye. An' it's jus' ye. Didja fynd Mally?"
Tarrant's eyes turned yellow-orange.
"Would I have come here without her if I had?"
The March Hare shrugged. Both of them sighed.
"I hope she's all right…"
"Aye. Meh, too."
"Slurking cat," the Hatter snarled, eyes fully orange now. "Wy can't he jus' leave 'er aloon?"
The Hare didn't respond. Hatter sighed again.
"Well…let's get back to the windmill; if we're lucky, she'll be there already."
The Hare nodded, perhaps a bit too eager to get back to his tea party, and began to walk off. The Hatter lagged behind him, taking a few seconds to look into the trees before following.
Thackery Earwicket was glad to return to his table, especially if the dormouse might be there…yet once the Hare came to the top of the hill, he froze.
And shook.
Eyes pale blue, Tarrant looked at him with concern.
"Thackery? What is it?"
"C-C-C-C-C-C…"
"Whatever's wrong? Talker stuck?"
"C-C-C-Ca-Ca-C-Ca…"
"Thackery, can't you speak? Cat got your tongue?"
"AYE! C-C-CAT!"
Eyes wide, the Hatter ran up to the top of the hill, and looked down.
For a second, his eyes narrowed went red, as he spotted a familiar, gray, black, and blue striped Cheshire Cat grinning up at him, stirring the tea in his cup with a black, glossy claw…
Then turned yellow with confusion when he spotted an equally familiar, small, white dormouse, dressed in pink, smiling up, holding her own tiny teacup in her snow-furred paws.
"Ah! There you two are!" Mallymkun said. "We were wondering when you'd show up!"
"Won't you join us?" purred the Cheshire Cat, and the two clinked their cups together in a toast, smiling at each other with affection as they did.
For a second, the Hare and the Hatter just stood at the top of the hill, frozen in place.
Then…
"M-M-M-MALLY!"
Mallymkun squeaked as the March Hare tackled her to the ground, holding her against his chest, his paws clasped around her like she was a doll, whimpering.
"Th-Thackery…!" she gasped out, winded.
"I thought ye were gone furever…!" the Hare half-sobbed.
"She's here, Hare," Chessur drawled. "But she won't be breathing long if you don't let go of her."
Thackery looked up at the cat, eyes wide, and nodded.
"Och, aye!" he piped, and released the dormouse, who looked at him with an expression that wasn't quite a frown and wasn't quite a smirk as she straightened herself up primly and returned to her seat.
"Well," she said, addressing Chessur, "If I had known they'd be this worried…"
"It's Thackery, Mally," Chess whispered, a twinkle in his eyes. "I suspect this isn't the first time he's greeted you like this since…you-know-what happened."
Mally shrugged and drank from her cup. The cat chuckled and did the same. The Hare, eyeing the cat uneasily, settled into his own chair; a gray dormouse he felt comfortable beside…but he always felt crowded beside the cat…
Tarrant approached much more slowly, his eyes resembling a Wintreon Pine; green with splotches of red and gold.
"What's going on here then?" he asked, eyes flicking from the dormouse to the Cheshire Cat and then back again.
Mally smiled.
"We're having tea, of course!"
"What else?" hissed the cat, raising an eyebrow.
The Hatter mimicked the movement.
"What I meant was…"
Suddenly he slammed his fists on the table, making the Hare jump.
"WY IS TH' GUDDLER'S-SCUTTISH CAT 'ERE?"
Mallymkun and Chessur blinked at him with dull eyes.
"Because we're in love," Mally said. "Isn't it obvious?"
"Indeed," Chess said.
These two, simple statements were enough to make the Hare and the Hatter stare unblinking at them for a while. The red in the Hatter's eyes was gone; his eyes were pastel yellow. He was utterly overwhelmed, his mouth opening and closing, but no words coming out.
The Hare, meanwhile, let out a deep breath and fainted dead away, his face colliding with a scone.
All three looked at the unconscious Hare for about two seconds, then looked at each other again.
"All right," Tarrant sighed after a moment longer, straightening up, eyes neon green again, placing his hands on his hips. "I give up: explain, please."
"Shall I tell him?" Mally asked in an overly solemn voice, looking at the cat with an overly solemn face.
The cat had difficulty looking solemn, due to his permanent smile, but did his best.
"If you feel you must," he purred.
"Where shall I begin?"
"As the Red King once said, start at the beginning."
Mally shrugged.
"Chess here thought I hated him after he tried to kill me, so he thought he'd make it up to me by being something he wasn't…a plan that failed. He has promised never to lead me on like that again, and we've…slept together…"
Here the Hatter's eyes went very wide.
"…Anyway, I've forgiven him, and we're in love. We haven't any ring, but we intend to get married soon. That about covers it. Any questions, Tarrant?"
For a second the Hatter was silent.
"Two," he said at last.
"Go ahead."
"First, may I speak with you, Chess? In private?"
The cat gulped, his composure breaking for the first time. Mally glared suspiciously.
"Promise not to hurt him, Hatter?" she said.
"I promise," Hatter said, seriously.
Mally nodded, and turned to Chess.
"Go talk with him," she said. "If he tries to turn you into a doily for the table, come get me. I'll wake up Thackery."
Chessur nodded, setting down his teacup and floating into the air. The Hatter waved a hand for the Cheshire Cat to follow him. The cat looked over at Mally, winked, and floated after the Mad Hatter as they headed for the windmill.
The dormouse was glad the cat couldn't see her blush, as she went to pour some tea on the Hare's nose…
The pained cry of the awakened Hare was the last thing the cat heard before the Hatter shut the door. Chessur settled, curled up like a housecat, on a small, rattle-legged table.
"Well?" he purred. "What do you want to say?"
"First of all," the Hatter said, his voice very grave, arms crossed over his chest. "I want you to know that, despite what you may think, I'm happy for you two. I always thought you'd make a nice couple…I just didn't think it would ever be true…"
He paused.
"And?" Chess pressed.
"And," Tarrant said, eyes darkening, "if you hurt her like that again, by the Frabjous Day, I swear, they will never find your bones."
The cat's eyes widened for a moment, then returned to normal.
"You needn't worry, Tarrant," he said softly. "I've learned my lesson all too well; I'll be good."
"You'd better be," the Hatter replied. "I forgive you this time; if she does, so do I. But I love her, too...just not in the same way you do. As miraculously strong and brave as she is, there are some things she simply can't handle…"
Here he smirked.
"And, as you and I know, her one fatal flaw is that she doesn't know when to quit, if ever."
The cat raised an eyebrow.
"Out of insatiable curiosity, how do you care for her?"
The Hatter lowered his eyes to the floor.
"I care about different people different ways: Alice is like a sister to me. Mally's the same way…I'm still not sure whether they're twins, or if one's older than the other…"
"How do you care about me?" Chess meowed innocently, batting his eyes.
Tarrant's smirk returned to his face.
"You and Thackery are both like brothers to me…you're the most obnoxious one."
This fact pleased the cat, if his grin was any indication.
"Is that all, Tarrant?" he purred.
"Yes," the Hatter said with a nod. "Now let's return to your lady, shall we?"
The cat was glad the dormouse was not around to see his face turn faintly red.
When the Cheshire Cat and the Mad Hatter returned to the tea table, the Hare was holding a napkin over his burnt nose, scowling at Mally half-heartedly, while she smiled at him mischievously over the rim of her cup.
"Think of it as payback, Hare," she said.
"Yer a mean li'l dormoose…"
"Yes, I am, Thackery."
The Hatter and the cat couldn't repress chuckles as they approached, and sat down. Tarrant took his usual seat at the head of the table, while Chess drifted down into a chair next to his dormouse.
"Are you two finished, then?" Mally asked, and then tried to shove the thought of how utterly ridiculous the question was out of her head.
"Yes, Mally, we are," Tarrant said. "And I have one more thing to ask…"
"What's that, Hatter?"
Tarrant smiled and pulled a few white lace handkerchiefs and some scissors out of his coat.
"When do you want your dress ready?"