Hello, I'm back with another chapter! Woohoo!

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Warning-Contains mentions of Self harm. Read at your own discretion.

Hours passed with the numbers of episodes left dwindling into single digits, snack bowls were empty and both movie marathon participants' eyes were drooping with the lure of sleep. Garcia drowsily switched off her laptop and made to get up so she could leave Reid to sleep, but a gentle hand reached out and nudged her lightly.

'Oh, I'm sorry I woke you, Boy Wonder! I was going to let you get your beauty sleep.' She responded quickly, looking towards her friend whom she could still make out through the dark in the room. He was wide awake by the looks of it, and judging by the mop of hair splayed out at all possible angles, he hadn't slept very much at all.

'I, uh, You didn't I was already awake…' Reid spoke softly, and Garcia could hear the nerves in his normally smooth voice. Sensing his hesitance, as well as seeing the emotion in his eyes, she twisted around and faced her friend.

'What is it, sweets?' Garcia's voice was as tender as she could manage, as soft as a feather pillow. She knew Reid wanted to talk, she could tell by just looking at him fiddling. That was what he always did when he spoke from his heart; he would fumble and fiddle, making no eye contact. She reached out to the slender hand that was weakly playing with the plaster on his other cast hand, and placed her hand atop it, effectively stopping the movement, and making Reid look at her. She smiled comfortingly at his tired, worn and frankly emotionally broken looking face. It truly broke her heart to see her baby like this.

'I..' Reid sighed loudly, letting his walls fall. 'I'm struggling.' He choked out, as his normally bright eyes became shiny with the teary liquid, letting it slowly filter down his cheeks. He felt Garcia's soft fingers wrap around his hand and squeeze comfortingly. He watched through teary eyes as Garcia moved over and wrapped her arm around Reid as his eyes watered, his head resting on her shoulder as she sat lovingly comforting him, wiping her own eyes with something that was a neighbour to happiness, gladness. She was glad Reid was finally talking. He had been through a trauma, and needed this more than he knew.

'I just can't deal with this. I don't even know my own mind anymore. I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. I feel like you guys lied about Ethan. He-He wouldn't do that to me, he couldn't. I'm just so confused, Garcia. I don't know who to believe… Then there's my hand, it's not going to get any better, and I know Hotch needs another agent, Strauss won't let him keep me hanging like this forever. The little bit on the side… It's just…' Reid sighed in frustration; his mind was jumbling like his words. 'I'm scared…' He choked on his words, admitting them made them ten times more real, and he couldn't even deal with feeling them, let alone saying them out loud, and to one of his family. He sat saturating Garcia's shoulder, letting most of his feelings surface. He knew that when he did, he would feel so much better. He felt Garcia move, and for a millisecond he thought she was going to leave, but his mind told him better and watched as she brought her head down to stare him straight in the eyes. He noticed the tear streaks on her cheeks.

It was physically painful to hear the things coming out of Reid's mouth, the way he felt was perfectly painful. Even just hear her baby's voice so broken made her heart creak with unease. She turned to face the genius, not missing the split-second look of panic as she moved. 'It's okay to be scared, my dove. I'm scared. But don't you go for one second thinking that you're all alone in this; we are always here with you, and for you, Reid.' Garcia smiled a watery smile in reassurance. 'You can trust us always, Love. You are never the bit on the side, Spencer; you are our world. We love you. I love you. And we always will. You are going to miraculously get better, and come back to work, no problems there, Genius, but it will take time to heal. That's all it takes, love and time; the two things that you will always have, no matter what you think.' After he softly nodded, she brought him in for a hug tearfully hoping the message got through the surprisingly thick skull of the genius. After a few comfortable moments, Garcia heard a low mumble.

'I, uh, I did it on purpose' Reid regretted the words as soon as they fell out of his mouth; his heart was iced over in painful panic. Did I really just confess to purposely harming myself? He inwardly pleaded that Garcia failed to hear what he said, but his hopes were torn when he heard her reply sweetly.

'Did what on purpose, Honey?' Although Garcia already knew, she wanted to hear him say; that was always the first step, admittance. She distantly remembered his feeble excuse, trying to catch a falling vase. She knew the signs, she lived them.

'The vase. I just got so angry and I couldn't control it… I don't know how but… the next thing I felt was the stinging… the cut, and I was holding the glass an squeezing… I, I don't know how but I did that... it. I did it. And I could feel it. I could feel the pain, the slice of my skin, it made me feel something... something other than anger. I… It made me feel alive.'

'I know.' She sighed simply, knowing where this was heading. Her bubbly personality and bright clothes couldn't hide everything.

'What?' Reid looked up surprised at there not being confusion or anger in Penelope's voice, and faced her as she looked him in the eyes as she spoke.

'I know, Reid.' Although he had been out of the field for a while, and that he had just blurted out everything he was feeling, he still could notice the sadness and regret that reflected from his own eyes into Garcia's, but also, he was confused. What did she mean 'I know'?

'h-how?' Reid stumbled over his words once more, not sure he really wanted to discuss this, but he wanted to know what Garcia had previously meant. It's textbook, his logical mind knew, but he refused to believe it. He felt the bed move as Garcia began to move away a bit, distancing herself. Looking directly in his eyes, to get the message across, and began her explanation.

'When my parents died… I got into a pretty dark place too… I thought there was nothing left for me… It got pretty bad, to the point that I began to withdraw from everyone and everything. I was just where you are now, thinking I was alone. I… I was just about ready to give up. I remember running into my room one afternoon so down, I had the blade in my hand. I had my arm out, ready to violate my own skin, but then my Aunt walked in; she was just like my mother. We were close.' Garcia smiled with watering eyes at the memory of her family. '…She walked up, took the blade out of my shaking hands and sat down… And I just cried. I let everything out. Much like you did before, Reid. And I felt better, my positivity crept up slowly and… and I came out on the other side a better person. I became who I am today. I just hope with all my heart that you don't hold anything in Reid. In all seriousness, it kills you. It almost did me… But now I have a wonderful life, although it's a bit rough at the moment, I love it and I love you… That's how I knew Reid; I have been exactly where you are. And I have news for you; the only way from here is up. You're going to get better and come back to work, I know it. And I cannot wait to see your smiling face at the office again. But as I said before that's going to take love and time, and I and the team are always here to help you, Hun.' She looked back at him and smiled sincerely. She had been watching Reid's withdrawn expression change during her explanation, and she saw the spark of hope that re-ignited when she admitted she had been exactly like he is.

'Thank you… for telling me that… and for tonight. I, uh, I liked having you here for me.' He spoke tenderly, his voice soft as velvet, but obviously still contemplating what Penelope had said.

She placed her hand on his, getting his attention, and he looked up and smiled. For the first time since he had been taken, Reid smiled with sincerity. He had hope burning in his heart, he knew it would be a long road, but if Garcia could do it, he could too. He felt the cold ice of his hate begin to melt with the warmth of his hope, and he inwardly smiled. He would get better.

After a comfortable, contemplating silence, Garcia sighed heavily, moving to get off the bed. 'Okay, genius, enough of this. It's now two in the morning and you need to get some sleep, from what the nurse told me when I got here, you have a full day tomorrow. Now get some rest, Lovely.' She moved around to the other side of the bed, and watched as Reid situated himself, his face still seemingly content, for what seemed like the first time in months. She reached around where the scrunched up blankets lay and brought them over the younger agent encasing him in warmth. Then grabbed a teddy lying near and placed it against his cheek. She pressed her lips against two of her fingers and then pressed them to Reid's forehead tenderly, before moving towards the door. Grabbing her laptop, she opened the door ready to leave.

'Garcia?' Reid's already fading voice.

'Yeah, Boy Wonder?' She asked softly, her hand on the door handle.

'Can… Can you leave the light on please?' He asked hesitantly, looking over through the darkness towards Garcia's figure shadowed in the light of the hallway.

'Of course, good night, I mean good morning, Lovely.' She flicked the switch, dimmed the lights and closed the door without another word. Walking down the hallway she smiled to herself brightly. He was definitely coming back to them, the genius that was scared of the dark; he remembered to turn on the light.

''Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers to turn on the light''
J.k Rowling

**In case some of you didn't quite get the ending of this chapter, I sort of tried to incorporate Reid's fear with this fabulous quote. How Reid, when he was in the worse waters of his depression that he is going through never remembered his constant fear of the dark, he always had the light off so there was only darkness, but now he remembered to turn on the light; he is in a way becoming himself again and igniting the hope and light back in his life**

Please do check out a OneShot I recently wrote, it is called Bittersweet and it's a Reid and Hotch fic based upon a heart to heart between the two about Maeves death. (still a bit angry about that one ;) ) Please check it out on my page! Thanks again guys!

Reviews will earn you a special mention at the start of the next chapter! Get reviewing! ;) xx

Claire