Ready for You

Beta-Kitchmill (but I did some tweaking so any mistakes are mine)

Prereader-Dawn

25

With Edward's help, the girls are bathed and in jammies much earlier than usual. Ellie votes for a movie—Frozen, no surprise. I allow her to watch some of it, setting a timer to let her know when it has to be turned off. She narrates every scene to Edward as they watch and sings louder than Elsa and Anna. Edward hangs on her every word and move, looking like he's really enjoying the movie and the personal show.

Sophie bobs her head during the songs and watches Ellie intently. As soon as she can walk, she'll be dancing around with Ellie in no time. Realizing she can't compete with her dancing and singing sister, she snuggles into my lap between songs and reaches under my shirt. I glance at Edward, but he appears to be engrossed in the movie, so I lift my shirt and start feeding Sophie very discretely. I would have gotten away with it were it not for the occasional slurping sound that resonates during the lulls in the movie.

Edward looks over at us and smiles knowingly, and although her head is covering my tit almost completely, the moment feels very intimate between us, with all of us. I smile back, but I can't help but worry about what he needs to talk to me about.

Ellie designates Edward to read her bedtime stories, and Sophie and I stay and listen. He does the occasional voice of the character when the story lends itself to that. The girls hang on his every word, even Sophie who for the most part prefers to chew the books.

Once Ellie is settled, I try to get Sophie to sleep but she keeps looking for Edward, who is waiting for me in the living room. After a few minutes of trying, I ask him to join us in Sophie's room, where she makes her demands known and Edward ends up rocking her until she's nearly asleep and then we transfer her to the crib. He is the first person who has successfully put her to sleep without major tears.

"Thanks again for today, watching the girls. It really helped me out, and they had so much fun," I say with genuine appreciation.

He shakes his head. "You may not feel that way after we talk, but just know that your girls are a pleasure. They are both so smart and kind and happy. You've done an amazing job with them, especially given all you've been through."

His words are kind, but my anxiety is getting the best of me. "Thanks. But you have me worried. Can we just talk now?"

"Sure." He clears his throat. "The home phone rang about half an hour after you left. The name said Jacob Black. I thought it might be you trying to get ahold of me. Like maybe you hadn't changed the bill into your name yet or something. So, I picked it up," he says, grimacing like he's expecting a major reaction from me.

"So, you picked up the phone and it was Jacob? What did he say?" I ask, not trusting anything Jacob might say or do.

"He demanded to talk to you. He said you didn't answer your cell so he was calling the house. He sounded really angry, and I don't know if he was already angry before he called or it was because I answered the phone." He shrugs.

"What did you say?"

"I said you were out. He demanded to know where you were, which I didn't tell him. Then he demanded to know where the girls were. When I said here with me he wasn't too happy. He asked my name and I just told him Edward. He had some choice words to say to me...about us," he says, motioning between us nervously.

"What about us?"

"Pardon my language; I'm just repeating what he said. But he asked if you and I were fucking."

I gasp. That bastard—how dare he speak to Edward like that?

"I told him it was none of his business. Believe me, I wanted to say more, but the girls could hear what I was saying so I kept calm."

"What else did he say?"

"Um, he just had some colorful things to say and threatened to come over here and get the girls because some strange man was watching them. I told him I am not strange to you or the girls, and he didn't like that very much." He pauses. "I'm sorry, Bella. I never should have answered the phone. I just thought it might be you."

"No, Edward. I'm sorry. You should not have to deal with Jacob or any of my drama. You came over here to do me a huge favor and you get grilled and cussed out by my deadbeat ex-husband," I say sadly.

"So the divorce is final?"

"Well, almost, just a few details to iron out."

"Oh, what do you mean by deadbeat? Is he paying you what he's supposed to?"

"That's what the other day was all about. He doesn't think he can pay the court-ordered amount because he got demoted. Long story, but let's just say he dipped into the pot at work."

"Oh, oh," he says with understanding. "But he has to pay. Don't you and the girls depend on that money? Don't you only work part time?" he asks with concern.

"Yes, we do. We need every cent we get from him. I've taken on a little more at work, but a little means a little bit of money too. But this is not your problem, Edward. You've witnessed first-hand my dirty laundry being hung out for all to see. I don't want you to see anymore of it; it's embarrassing."

He takes my hands. "Don't be embarrassed. I think you are a wonderful mother. You're kind and patient and you put your girls first. Jacob is not reflection on you, at all. Are you certain you want to divorce him?"

"God, yes!" I practically yell. "There is no doubt in my mind that I am divorcing him, and the sooner the better. I've been in contact with my attorney, and Jacob isn't supposed to contact me directly anymore."

He drops my hands. "Why? What did he do? Do you feel safe around him? Did he threaten you or the girls?" he asks, his posture getting straighter, his demeanor more cop-like with each question.

Although I love his protective side, I need to reassure him, so I put my hand on his forearm. "I appreciate your concern, Edward, but besides being a major annoyance, I don't feel like he'll physically harm me or the girls."

"Then why don't you want him to contact you?"

"Because he's a manipulator and I don't want to play his games. The other night he stayed longer than the court-ordered time period just to tell me his sob story about his girlfriend and his money woes. All because he couldn't keep it in his pants. I don't want to hear it. He needs to be good to his girls, do what he's told, and provide for them. End of story," I finish, out of breath.

"Okay." He nods. "He didn't sound like a rational person over the phone. Money, the thought of losing someone he loves, could make him do something he wouldn't normally do."

"Let me stop you there. There is only one person Jacob loves, and that is himself. He's not the least bit upset about losing me. I can guarantee you that. He may be worried about losing the girls, but he only wants them minimally. And that could end at any time. He's just not invested, not giving this parenting thing his all. He's too busy worrying about himself."

"I can't imagine anyone walking away from you and those girls," he says, glancing toward the stairs.

"Well, he did and I'm over it. I have stuff to work out within myself. I have to be the best person I can be for Ellie and Sophie, and I want to be happy too. But if they're happy, I'm happy."

"Don't you want to marry again? Have more kids?"

"Probably about as much as you want to," I tease, but it doesn't get the reaction I want. Instead, he pulls away, his back straightening and a far away look on his face.

"I'm sorry, that was—" I start.

"No, it's fine. It's not that I don't want a family, a wife, and children. I just…" He runs his hands through his hair in annoyance. "I just think the life, the career I've chosen, it wouldn't be fair to my family. My hours, the danger." He shakes his head.

"I call bullshit," I say firmly.

His head snaps up. "You what?"

"I call bullshit. You are bullshitting me and yourself. You would be a perfect father, and from what I can tell a pretty amazing husband. Your job is dangerous, yes, and the hours might suck at times, but nothing is perfect. No situation is perfect, but if anyone could make it work it would be you, Edward. Don't sell yourself short. You deserve happiness." He opens his mouth to interrupt, but I stop him. "Yes, I'm sure you're happy now, but not as happy as you could be. With the right person, you could have it all."

"I just can't think about that. It's just easier to take it off the table—no dating, no unmet expectations. No waiting for Ms. Right. I'm free to just live and know my life is what I make it. I'm not reliant on anyone else for my happiness."

"That sounds good and simple, but it's not human nature to be alone, and you are meant to be a father."

"Well the same goes for you, Bella. It's not human nature to be alone."

"But I'm not alone, Edward. I have my girls and they are my life."

He nods. "They are pretty special," he says with a wistful smile.

We end our heavy conversation there and say our goodbyes. I'm the one who initiates a hug this time. Having our arms around each other feels...safe. I hope I've given him something to think about and not pushed him away. I did come on pretty strong with my opinions, but he should be dating; hell, he should be married by now. Any woman would be lucky to have him, and he won't be single long once he puts himself out there. That thought is bittersweet.

Edwards thoughts - I DON'T DATE.

A/N

Did Bella overstep? How is Edward going to take this?

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