Asuka was there when Rei opened her eyes. The girl had been in much the same state as her friend, with feverish awakenings punctuated with water and broth. She craned her head up, red eyes fixing on blue and red. "Hey, Rei," Asuka whispered. "How you feeling?" She cooed as gently as she would to a frightened fawn, but it had the opposite affect intended.

Rei squirmed down, hands coming up and hiding her face. "Rei?" Asuka asked, laying a protective hand on Rei's head. The girl feebly, half-heartedly tried to bat the hand away, but she couldn't muster the strength to care. She started whimpering, pulling at her hair and letting tears flow freely. It took a moment for Asuka to register the emotion, but when she did, she closed her eyes, and said, "There, there." It was all she could do.

The girl was feeling shame.

When she finally managed to get Rei in a sitting position without the girl hiding her face, it was about time for her to start on solid food again. They both had the same thing, which was cooked chicken and rice. They ate slowly, from the same bowl. Asuka would place a morsel in Rei's mouth, then help herself. Unless Rei felt like shoveling through the food with her fingers, this was how it would have to be: her hands, having been tied in front of her as they were, were taking a longer time to remember their strength than Asuka's had. In this manner, a little bit of that spark seemed to show through, and Rei would smile every now and then, before hiding it behind her wall.

As they ate, Kikyo slid open the door. "If you'll excuse me," she said, "I have some more water."

"Thank you," Asuka said. "I don't know how we can repay you for your kindness.

"It doesn't need to be repaid," she said gently. "We did what anyone would."

"It seems odd to find people so helpful out here," Asuka murmured. "I feel I've been lucky."

"I will admit, there was some hesitation to bring you in," Kikyo admitted. "Nana insisted, though…we listen to her on these things."

"Nana? The old woman?" That surprised her.

Kikyo went on. "She was the one that found you…when she was gathering herbs from the forest. She got help to carry you back." Asuka was impressed. She would have to show more gratitude to Nana in the future, then.

Asuka tried to give Rei another piece of chicken, but the girl made a face and blocked the food with her hand. She reached for the flagon Kikyo had brought with her, and the woman handed it to her politely. Rei sipped shallow but greedy drinks,

"Feel better? Hmm?" Asuka asked, brushing some hair from Rei's forehead. The girl looked at her with intent eyes, but did nothing. She looked like she had something to say, but no intention of saying it. "Not better yet?" Rei shrugged, and Asuka kneaded the back of her neck. "Few more bites, okay?" Rei made a face, but didn't shake her head.

"I hope your friend recovers her voice," Kikyo said, "If there is anything else we can do…"

"Thanks," Asuka said, and Kikyo retreated. She finished feeding Rei, who immediately curled up on the mat. Asuka scratched her back.

"We need to talk about…that," Asuka said. "When you're ready."

Rei murmured, "I shouldn't have come."

Asuka leaned over. "You did, though, so no dwelling on it. We move forward." Rei had no response.

Myoji was the name of the village, with barely a hundred souls, if that many, in a dense spread of nice houses and the best technology the 15th Century could offer. Asuka resisted the urge to call them the Eastern Amish, as it would have been crass and unfair…but it was hard not to think it. These people had made a conscious decision to go back and live a simpler life. It had something to do with the nature of their beliefs, how they intersected with Instrumentality…some other elements…

It was all vague to Asuka, and she couldn't make heads or tails of it. Really, it meant nothing to her in the long run. If these people felt the urge to live this way, more power to them. It was amazing, she thought, that no heavily armed individuals had found this place, and had their way with it. She felt bad thinking that, feeling she was tempting fate.

Here they stood, though, nestled and safe in the lee of a small valley. It was a safe, simple, boring existence, and that was a good thing for Asuka right now. There were simple chores to help with, when they let her. She didn't want to do anything that the women were supposed to do, and the men were insistent that a woman not work with them. So, frequently, she spent a lot of time sitting, and thinking, and tending to Rei. As a result, she now resided in Kikyo's house, though Nana visited frequently. Still, there wasn't much to do.

A good portion of that time was spent thinking about Shinji. She had seen him, hadn't she? It felt so real. Fever dreams could make you think that, but this hadn't been a fever dream. Had it? The Figment wasn't, that was sure. This…visitation…didn't have the feel of the figment. It was warm, and loving. She had touched him, felt his fingers under hers after such a long time. The warmth still resided there, and she looked down at her hands. She often moped about how her feet had been abused by her new career choice, but she didn't do that so much with her hands…they were a lost cause. Now, she openly looked at them, and grimaced.

Thin, but calloused and scarred. Elegant, but showing the signs of two broken fingers and a former dislocation. Her nails were short, almost nubs. They were not the hands she had endeavored so hard to keep soft, beautiful, desirable. She remembred being a bit of a silly thing when it came to fashion, remembered how wonderful it felt to wear dresses, get her hair done, make herself this beautiful, unattainable thing. She knew that this could be seen as a sign of shallowness. She herself interpreted it that way, looking back on it and seeing how much of it was just plain window-dressing. That didn't change the fact that, somehow, she knew she was less and that bothered her. She didn't know why she had started thinking about it, now of all times. But she had.

That night, at dinner, Asuka found herself waxing sad about it. "I was a vain girl," she announced. "Very vain. Very…proud." She twirled the rice with her chopsticks. "You wouldn't know it, but I was quite a looker back in the day." She was sharing her dinner with Kikyo and Nana, who had come over. Rei was sleeping, and being watched curiously by Kikyo's twins. Her husband was with some of the men, doing…whatever it was men did in a village with less than a hundred people. Punch horses or something.

"Was?" Kikyo said slyly, not perturbed by the shift in conversation. Asuka smiled.

"I don't think about those things very much, anymore," she said, "And it's hard to feel attractive when your covered in mud, grime, and sweat for days on end." She shrugged. "I don't think about it, anymore," she repeated. "That was a long time ago. I was a different person, then. So was Rei."

"How long have you known her? I gathered she was much younger," Nana asked.

"We were the same age, once. I came back well before she did," Asuka explained. "We were…acquaintances. Different people, too."

"Acquaintances is not friends," Kikyo said.

"I hated her," Asuka admitted, without evasion. "I was scared of her, really…of what she was. The way she is now…" Asuka shrugged. "It was kind of like that, only worse. Um…mechanical, you know? I remembered she once said that if told to kill herself, she would, just because she had been given the order." Asuka grimaced at the memory. "That made me furious. To think that someone could live like that and not…feel anything."

"She doesn't seem that way now," Kikyo said. "She's shy and doesn't talk, but she feels."

"She feels," Asuka agreed. "Feels more than I gave her credit for. I shouldn't have brought her."

"And yet you did," Nana said. "I don't think it was an accident that you two came together again, as you did. As you are now."

"Perhaps," Asuka murmured. "Perhaps. It's beyond me."

"Fighting isn't," Nana said curiously. Kikyo coughed, perturbed by the shift, and Asuka fixed the woman with a strange gaze. "You were found heavily armed. That girl was, too. You were found at the end of your rope…but you had come a long way. You're a fighter, I see that in you. The men see it, too, and it makes them nervous. A warrior…especially a lady warrior."

"Hardly," Asuka said, noncommittally. She was trying to evade the conversation, and she knew it.

"We don't live a violent existence here," Kikyo said, as if that would explain everything, "We turn it away, the weapons of the world and the pain they bring."

"It seems to me," Nana said, "That the only wrong in violence is when it is not used to protect the defenseless." Kikyo coughed again, but Nana was an elder, and elders had their opinions.

"Why are you bringing this up?" Asuka asked, fully uncomfortable now.

"You were a Pilot, yes?" Nana said. Asuka's eyes widened, and Kikyo murmured in surprise. It was no surprise to Asuka that the Capt. Ishii knew who she was. It was more than likely her packet had been distributed across the military in order to limit her or any other NERV movements as they tried to flee. For this old woman to say that, however…It was a shock.

"I feel that this is right…you're reaction confirmed it. I watched as you fought with them…the Angels. I watched like the rest of the country. You saved so many, fighting…such awful things. And you were good at it, too." She jerked a chin towards Kikyo. "This girl is sweet, and she lives a life that has been easier than most. For that, I am thankful. I am thankful that we have this place for us. I know, though…I know that life can be taken as well as lost. I know that there are takers. There are wolves and there are sheep. We need dogs to stand between."

"Are you calling me a dog, Nana?" Asuka teased, and Kikyo smiled despite herself. Nana returned the chiding remark with a wide grin.

"Or a wolf among wolves. Do you feel ashamed of what you do?"

"Yes," Asuka said without hesitation.

"Because you love it?"

"Among other reasons."

Nana nodded. "But you are good at it? Very good?"

"One of the better ones, to be sure," Asuka said.

Nana nodded. "Is it because you are bad in your heart, and love violence for the sake of violence…or because someone somewhere needs a strong, red devil to shield them?"

Asuka crossed her arms and leaned back, fixing Nana with a withering eye. The old woman smiled coyly, and continued to eat her rice.

It was the next day that Asuka heard a rumor that perturbed her more than the conversation with Nana, more than a whole horde of bandits come roving in from the forest with axes and torches.

Someone had taken a fancy to Rei.

That would not do, for it conflicted with Asuka's desire to leave as soon as Rei was able. This was not their place, and they shouldn't linger more than necessary. As it was, a young man…too old for Rei, as far as Asuka was concerned, but nevertheless…a young man had taken a liking to the strange, ethereal, and exotic looking girl that took quiet walks, sat watching the villagers, and spent time with the foreigner. He was entertaining notions of making her a wife, as it was time he found one, and she seemed the very model of what a Japanese wife should be. Asuka was thoroughly irritated

"It would be good for her," Kikyo said, happy at the thought. The matchmaker in her had taken over, and she was trying to convince Asuka (who everyone had assumed was the guardian) that this was a wise match. She sat folding clothes on her porch, fresh from the laundry. Asuka was leaning against a post, in a way that seemed uncomfortably masculine to the conservative Kikyo. "Keita is a strong and hardworking young man, and would provide well for her," she continued, "And she will be a good and dutiful wife to him, I'm sure of it."

"I think Keita is seeing something that is not there," Asuka said. "He sees a yamato damashii in the making, but what it really is happens to be a girl who is still working out some pretty nasty trauma."

"I'm sure it's nothing that a good husband can't fix," Kikyo insisted. Asuka's eyes narrowed. She liked Kikyo, had grown to enjoy the woman's company, but she had a certain willful ignorance that could be irritating at times. Her insistence on understanding Rei or her problems was something Asuka simply let go, most of the time. Asuka certainly didn't have a handle on Rei, and was frankly amused when others claimed to. That statement, though…that made her a little angry.

"Do you know what caused her trauma?" Asuka asked. Kikyo stopped folding and looked at her, shaking her head. Neither Rei nor Asuka had mentioned it.

"Do you think you know why she's traumatized?" Asuka asked. Kikyo shrugged.

"I can guess-" she began, and Asuka waved her hand, cutting her off.

"You can guess, and you might guess right…and you might guess wrong. It's irrelevant, because it's none of your business…I'm sorry to be so brusque, but it's true. When Rei feels like talking about it, then you get to know. In the meantime, only guessing about why she is the way she is, or assuming it's one thing when I can tell you that it's not, is unfair to her. Keita needs to drop his courtship before it begins."

"Sometimes we need someone to help us quiet the demons in our hearts," Kikyo said. Asuka didn't disagree with that, but she was still skeptical. She needed to nip this in the bud.

"Where is this Keita?" Asuka asked quietly.

"He should be helping his father thatch their roof," Kikyo said, then brightened. "Do you wish to talk to him? Right now." Asuka nodded, and Kikyo bubbled. "That's grand! I'll bring him here, where you can speak for Rei," and she was off like a shot. Asuka made a sour face, and entered the house, picking the room for the inquisition.

She didn't want to speak for Rei…she felt that if Rei met a boy she liked, Rei could damn well handle that herself. It might even be cute to watch. This was a different beast, though, and Rei was in no position to be dealing with anything of that sort. This was not passing notes in the hallway, or batting eyes at young beaus…this was a boy (who thought he was a man) wanting something very specific and very demanding from a girl who was still trying to get over the fact that she had, more or less, cut a man in half with rifle fire. There could be no subtle way to phrase it: Rei was not getting married to anyone, certainly not someone who expected her to be a quiet little poppet of a housewife. This boy was now in over his head.

Asuka sat pondering all of this as Nana appeared at the door, scooting in with a look of conspiracy. "I heard that you wanted to interview the suitor," Nana explained.

"How did you hear that?" Asuka asked.

"I'm old, I hear everything," she said. "What are you going to say?"

"Who says I already know what I'm going to say?"

"You already know, I can see it on your face," Nana said. "It better be good, or I'll feel like my afternoon will be wasted." Asuka began to say something snarky when Kikyo entered, leading the young man in question. She circled to the side of the room and sat next to Nana. Keita bowed, and scooted forward, sitting across from Asuka.

Keita dressed like the other men, in a happi. He was a handsome enough young man, with a farmer's muscles…but he had a certain vacancy, tinted by that self-awareness young men had. The kind of thing that made them need to beat their chests, act the man, and generally be intolerable.

Shinji, she reflected, had never really acted that way. He had come close a few times, but never all the way. It took her getting older to appreciate what a virtue that was.

She shook her head, and regarded the boy like a mother regarding a suitor. "You're Keita?"

"Yes, I am," he replied, attempting some sort of bravado mingled with respect. This was probably because it was clear Keita was just a few years younger than Asuka. Despite that, Asuka had a presence that nullified such chest-thumping, and the attempt made him look foolish and younger. Asuka bit her tongue, and told herself to be neutral. She already knew exactly what she would say to Keita, Nana was right about that…but she still tried to keep that from coloring her opinion of him. He wasn't a bad sort…just a young man. Lord knows that plenty of young men did stupid things.

"'Yes, I am,' what?" she snapped, giving in slightly to the urge to browbeat him. He swallowed.

"Um…Miss Asuka…ma'am…" He threw in a slight bow for good measure.

She scratched her cheek, and gestured at him. "What makes a good husband? And tell me like I don't know, because…I really don't." He swallowed, and took a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Well, a good husband…puts a roof over his wife's head. He provides her with food, and…protects her from any dangers…" He seemed to be searching for other answers.

"And love her, right?" Asuka asked.

"Oh, yeah, of course he does!" Keita said, as though that was a given.

"That's fair enough," Asuka thought, nodding. She didn't particularly like those answers, but they weren't bad answers. She sniffed. "Why do you love Rei?"

"Um…pardon? I mean…Miss Asuka…ma'am?" The question had blindsided him, a bad sign for a man professing his love.

"Rei. Why-do-you-love-her." It was a flat statement more than a question.

"Well, she's beautiful…and quiet…and…" He had more to say, certainly, but he was having trouble finding it. Something about the pose Asuka had assumed had told him he had answered wrong.

"There are other beautiful girls in the village, so that's a stupid answer," she said gently. "If you want a quiet wife, make a doll and call it your bride." His color grew dark, and Asuka continued on. "She's also fourteen. You're, what…eighteen, nineteen?"

"I'll be nineteen next month," he said. Asuka's face skewed up.

"See, I have a problem with that. I'll be frank, I once threw myself after older guys when I was that age. I'll call that a phase." That was being generous, but no sense dwelling on it. She moved on, "The thing is, there's just something about that whole thing that bothers me. You're an adult, or you're at least learning to be an adult. She's a kid. She's still a child."

"But…well, she is of an age when she should already know her wifely duties," he mused, "And I am ready to begin husbandly duties. So…it just stands to reason that if we both know what is expected of us, why not allow us to marry?" It didn't stand to reason, but Asuka wasn't going to argue that fine print. She did have something else to say, though.

"So…" she mused back, "You're saying that everything Rei needs to know as a woman right now, she already knows, and everything you know as a man right now, you know? Am I to take that as 'women are stupid and have less to learn than men' or 'the things women learn are less complicated than the things men learn?' Or are you just sniffing around Rei and you can't think of a nice way to put that out in the open?"

His mouth dropped open, and he glanced to Kikyo and Nana for help. Both of them had their hands on their mouths, but for entirely different reasons. The conversation had taken a sort of surreal horror for the gentle Kikyo. Nana was having trouble containing laughter. He opened his mouth, and tried to answer, "Um…the things…women…um…the way I feel about…what Rei should do as a wife…"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," she said, holding up her hand. "That's a hole your just gonna keep digging until you hit bedrock, so let's move on. What about yelling at each other until you're blue in the face? What do you do when that happens?"

"Miss Rei would never yell," he insisted, suddenly irritated with this woman. Asuka's lips twitched.

"And if she does? If she's not who you think she is? That you build up this image of the perfect woman and Rei is…not that image?" Asuka asked.

"But Miss Rei is that woman, Miss Asuka. I know she is, more than anything!" Well, Asuka thought, give him points for being earnest. He wasn't an idiot, but he wasn't bright. Can't hold that against a person. And he was honest…you certainly can't hang a man for honesty, now, could you? The right corner of her lip quirked up. It wouldn't save him from what was coming next, of course…that was a foregone conclusion. Misinterpreting the expression, Keita smiled nervously.

"All right," she said, gently, "Keita, I'll say this once, so you need to listen very carefully." She leaned over as she said this, her voice dropping. Keita leaned close, listening intently.

"If you attempt to marry Rei, or I go out some day and return to find Rei is now your little housewife…they will never…EVER…find enough pieces of your body for a proper burial." Keita's face paled, and he swallowed. "Is that clear?"

"Um…uh…I…" he stammered, unsure of what to do. Part of him thought this was a test of virtue, and that he should profess that no matter what horrors and torments came his way, he would care and provide for Rei as a husband should. Another, wiser part of him saw that cold gleam in Asuka's eye, and knew that this woman was telling the truth, that she was quite possibly insane, and the further he got from her, the happier and healthier he would be. These two parts warred within him as Asuka waited for an answer.

"Keita?" she asked gently. He stopped stammering. "Do you understand? That if you try to put the moves on Rei, you'll just become one more bedtime story parents frighten their children with?" She twisted her fingers, popping the joints as she held his gaze.

"I…respect your wishes…in regards to Miss…Rei…" he stammered, "And…and…I shall…endeavor…to…respect…"

Asuka gently, almost lovingly, reached out and scooped up a handful of Keita's happi. Slowly and deliberately, she pulled him across the mat, with a strength that truly surprised and frightened him. She looked so small sitting there, and she dragged him like he weighed nothing at all. "Keita, look into my eyes and try that again." He did, and what saw answered any and all doubts that lingered.

"I'll stay away from her! I won't touch her! I won't look at her! I won't even think about her!" he whimpered.

Asuka held his gaze for a moment, then released his shirtfront. He sat there, dazed. "Leave," she said quietly, and Keita bolted like a man given a reprieve from death.

She sighed contentedly, and turned to look at Kikyo. The woman's mouth hung open, and her eyes quivered in barely contained horror. Nana had begun to laugh openly and loudly, now that the boy was no longer there.

Asuka looked back at Kikyo, shrugged, and said, "Hey, love hurts."