Frances was sitting on her bed, trying to catch her breath from her adrenaline rush...from her night with Fred...but also the fear that she could've been caught at any time...
Her own words echoed in her mind, "Yes, I admit, having sex NOW, before we're even married, both you and I won't be as pure and clean as we could've been..."
Light tears began to drip from her eyes, and slide down her cheeks..."Now...I feel...dirty..." She thought out loud...She didn't understand how something could feel SO wonderful one moment...and then the next, so dirty she wanted to take bath after bath after bath, just to feel clean again.
"Why couldn't I have waited for my wedding night?!..." She thought she couldn't help it that she did what she did...she wanted him! She had sex dreams about the two of them! Daily fantasies! She'd look at his lips and wish he'd lean in a kiss the life out of her, much more than just the little pecks and smooches he had been doing! She'd see the muscles through his shirt and wish she could SEE him shirtless! She'd look him up and down and wonder how the sex would be with him..."You dwelled too much on it, Frances..." She said to herself. "You messed up...you didn't remain accountable, you weren't guarding yourself,...your heart." She knew there are always consequences to immorality,...and that those consequences are far greater than the pleasures. The pleasures are temporary, but the consequences are permanent...and those consequences often include bodily harm. Was it just her...or did the pain she felt in her lower half was emotional pain, coming through the surface...and transforming into the little bit of physical pain she felt? Or was it just the horror stories she heard about sex? That it was painful?...She didn't know.
Frances felt that she should at least TRY to get some sleep, and so she layed down on her back and closed her eyes,...but then she saw his face...his smile...she thought she could still feel his touch, his kiss...the feel of his body on hers...the feeling of him inside her. She KNEW without a doubt that they loved each other...That surely counted, didn't it? SHE thought so...and she knew she did what she did, and she knew she couldn't change it...Yes, she felt guilty now...but there was a part of her that was GLAD they had that time together...And knew there would be many more...considering they were to be married soon. She just hoped it would be as wonderful and as special as the night they had tonight. She truly without a doubt knew that she loved this man who had experienced so much hurt in his life…..but he was not at all abusive to her. He loved her….and she knew he truly did. She knew she loved him too and wanted to help him with his hurt in anyway she could. She loved this man. Truly, she did.
The days and weeks were passing, getting closer to their wedding day... and Franziska was helping her get things ready and in order and had something to present to her daughter.
"I've been making this for you...What do you think? I know….it's not exactly what you wanted…but..." Franziska smiled, holding up a 1912 silk polka dot day dress. "I thought you could wear it….on your wedding trip…"
Frances stared at the pretty dress in awe. "Oh Ma! It's beautiful!...You took inspiration from the picture of the dress I had wanted!...It's the exact same color! Its so much better than the one I had wanted!...Ma...You're the best!" She said, wrapping her mother up in a hug...Frances was about to cry...she just couldn't believe it!
"GO try it on!...See how it fits! I don't think I'll have to make any alterations...but you never know..."
Frances stepped behind the dressing screen and took off her blue plaid blouse and dark blue skirt, laying them over the dressing screen, one by one...She slipped into the beautiful dark red dress with darker hued polka dots, and buttoned each little round button. And she came out from behind the dressing screen...
"Well...don't you look as pretty as a picture..." Franziska smiled, proudly. "It fits like a glove..." The sleeves were down to her elbows, the bodice on the dress was quite snug, it was loose at her hips and the hem reached to her ankles. There was a pretty detail of lace on the collar and at the end of the elbow length sleeves of the Edwardian two-piece silk dress. "Here, put these on...They'll look wonderful with the dress..." She said, holding up a pair of brown ankle boots...
Frances lifted her right foot up on her bed, and slipped the boot onto her dainty foot...Franziska slipped a silver sixpence coin into the heel of Frances' left boot and Frances put it on...
"Well, you've got the new...and the sliver sixpence...now all we need is the old, the borrowed and the blue..." Her mother smiled..."I have JUST the thing for the old!" Franziska said, going into her and her husband's room, rummaging through a small oak box where she kept her most valuable possessions...she came back with a white handkerchief, with a fancy Franziska embroidered on it...It worked, since both women were named Franziska.
"Your grandmother, Barbara Mossbauer Gilch,...my mother, made this handkerchief for me when I married your Pa...It's yours now, sweetheart...I've been meaning to give it to you...And I think this is just the occasion..."
"Oh Ma...Its so beautiful!...I'll take wonderful care of it, I promise..." Frances smiled...
"Now for the borrowed...The old widow lady next door….she's seen you grow up before her eyes, child. She wanted me to give you this and would be most pleased if you would wear this at some point on your special day...She did on her wedding day...I think it goes quite nicely with your bouquet..." She pinned a pretty corsage to the dress.
"Its beautiful..." Frances gasped..."Tell her thank you for me, if I can't get to her first..."
"l will let her know..." She smiled. "Now for the blue...I have just the thing..." She said, holding up a blue ribbon..."I wore this in my hair when your Pa and I got married...but since it doesn't really go with your dress, it'll do just fine tied around your bouquet..." Franziska held up a bouquet of lovely sweet pea flowers...Franziska twisted Frances' beautiful reddish brown wavy hair into a lovely coiffed Edwardian bun, pinned it with hairpins, and stood back to see how she looked..."Oh silly me.,…I've forgotten your hat. A lady isn't a lady…or properly dressed without her hat…." Franziska left the room and then came back with a lovely hat with ruffles and flowers, the pretty hues nearly matching with the redness of the dress. She stood back again to admire her lovely and fashionable daughter and rearranged loose tendrils of her daughter's lovely wavy red-brown tresses.
"You look absolutely breathtaking, sweetheart...I can't wait to see the look on Fred's face when he catches a glimpse of you..." She smiled at her daughter...They heard someone walk up to the front door. "Here he is now…." She smiled.
Fred walked into the room where they were and stopped in surprise when he saw his Love standing on the pedestal. He took off his Derby hat and smoothed back his neatly combed wavy dark hair and smiled at her and let out a breath in awe at the sight of her. "Is that your wedding dress, my Love?...You sure look lovely. Breathtaking, in fact."
"No, Mon Chéri…." She called him honey, or "my dear" in French. Fred had taught himself French among several other languages and he would speak the beautiful language of Romance with her. She loved it. "I will wear it on our wedding trip…..I cannot wait to see the Northern Lakes with you, my dear…." Frances beamed at him. Fred extended his thick hand to her dainty one and helped her step down.
"Well then…." Fred smiled, his handsome eyes even smiled at her. His kiss nearly took her breath away the next moment. "If this isn't your wedding dress….I cannot wait to see what it will be…..tomorrow at 8." His gray-blue eyes beamed at her and he held her in his arms a moment. "I will be most upset I won't get to see you until you walk down the aisle….and so I came to catch a glimpse of you….I was not disappointed!"
"Oh…Frederick…" she blushed terribly. Just like she had the day she met him a couple years before in 1910. He had just come to America from Germany and became a U.S citizen. Living in Johnstown, Pennsylvania and working at the Emeling Brewery….Living in New Jersey for a short time….and finally making his way to Dubuque, Iowa where he met her. A lot happened in that short year. They had dated that season from late 1910 into 1911. It was the year 1912 and of course now they were engaged to be married.
"I also came to give you something….and to talk with your father."
"Well, you'll have to wait for Pa once he gets home from working at the Brunswick." The Brunswick hotel held many a railroad personnel and Big George Gruber worked there as a night watchman. "My Love has bought me something?" She enquired and her lovely brown eyes had an amorous gleam in them.
"Yes…" his blue-gray eyes smiled at her and the gentleman gave her a little peck on the lips. "For Mon Chérie to wear on our wedding day and to treasure always…." He whispered and came up behind her. He stood tall at 5 foot 6 or either 5 foot 7 and his betrothed stood daintily at a few inches over 5 foot tall. Fred put a lovely simple golden cross pendant on a gold chain around her neck. His gentle hand brushed her delicate neck and he placed a loving kiss in the soft spot where his hand had brushed her skin.
"Oh Fredrick John….it's beautiful….Simple but beautiful."
"I'm glad you're easy to please…." He grinned slightly and held up her left hand, smoothing her long fingers with his own…"You do love your engagement ring…even though it is no diamond?" his fingers brushed against her ring finger and the gold band she wore, with the lovely pearl and the setting that made it look like an angel with wings.
"…mein Engel…." He whispered in his native language, German.
"My dear…I'm no angel…." She admitted. Her glance at him was nearly erotic.
"To me you are, my Love…" Fred smiled and kissed her cheek. "Well…I will come later to talk with your father…..and I will see you tomorrow at Holy Ghost Catholic Church….at 8am."
"Like I'll forget the day I become Mrs. Fred Lay….." She spied at him with loving eyes and a saucy look to her velvety smooth lips. "Goodnight, my Sweetheart."
The morning of the wedding came. Frances, her brothers, and her mother and father were all at the Holy Ghost Church to get things ready for the ceremony.
"Hello Father Weirich. How are you this lovely morning?"
"Doing quite well, Mrs. Gruber...Are we ready to start?"
"No sir...Fred will be here shortly, I assume...We're just waiting for him...Frances is nearly ready, I believe…" Mrs. Gruber smiled. "Besides, we're early..."
"This is true. For myself especially. Never been one for being late...I guess my profession has a lot to do with that...I'm always the first one there at God's house, bright and early on Sunday morning for Mass..." Rev. Weirich smiled...
Fred raced in through the double doors of the Holy Ghost Church that Thursday morning, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath..."Please tell me I'm NOT late!"
"You're early, Fred...Now calm yourself down, you're just a bundle of nerves!" She laughed at him.
"I just wanted to make sure everything was perfect!"
"You are...You clean up very nicely Fred..." Franziska said, inspecting him...He was wearing his best dark brown suit, a starched white button-down shirt, a beige necktie and brown dress shoes...his wavy dark hair was combed neatly. He looked quite handsome..."Just wait till Frances sees you!..." She smiled.
"Well, I think we're ready to start!" The Reverend Weirich smiled.
Mr. Gruber saw his daughter as a picture of loveliness when he came to the back room of the church where she was. "Hey, little girl...You ready?" He smiled.
"Well, if I'm not, I better get ready...huh, Pa!" She laughed. "I'm….quite nervous…" Frances confessed moments later and stood there breathing deep, long breaths in and back out again. She smiled up at her father.
"I'm happy I get to see this day come...Just not so happy of losing you, little girl...My only daughter."
Frances smiled..."I'll always be your girl, Pa...Just not so little anymore..." She said, wrapping her arms around him. She looked up at him and noticed a few tears streaming down his cheeks...it was the first time she had ever seen the large man cry.
"You've sprouted up right before my eyes,...look at you! A beautiful young woman..."
It almost shocked her that she heard him call her beautiful and a tear ran down her cheek..."Thank you, Pa...And you're not losing a daughter...you're gaining a son..." She smiled...
Big George laughed..."Not another one of those!" He brought her to his chest..."Oh, I love you!"
"I love you too, Pa..." She said, burying her face in his chest, trying not to cry...but it wasn't working so well.
He held her by the shoulders and looked into that pair of chocolate brown eyes that always had a twinkle in them..."I'm so proud of you! Finally making it to this day...as pure as the driven snow." He said at last.
A small half-smile crept across her face...she knew she really wasn't all that pure...A twinge of guilt had settled in.
"Oh, enough of all this mushy stuff...I don't want to make you cry more than you need to on your special day…On your 18th birthday." Big George smiled at his daughter sweetly. "...They're waiting for us now...C'mon...Let's go..."
"We're ready to start, George..." Franziska said excitedly..."Let me get one last look at you, sweetheart..." She gazed at her daughter, rearranging her long silk net veil…, smoothing her dress..."You look beautiful..." She said, kissing her daughter's cheek.
"Thank you, Ma" Frances said, about to cry.
"Now don't be turning on the water works! You'll make me start bawling!" Her mother said.
"I'm surprised you haven't already..." Big George whispered.
"Oh hush up, you old fool!" Ma Gruber laughed, smoothing her daughter's face lovingly.
"Ain't no fool, like an old fool!" Frances laughed. But the nerves were settling in more.
Her parents started laughing..."Franziska Catherine Gruber! While you still use that name you know we can still take you out behind the woodshed!"
She playfully stuck her tongue out at them. "You won't be able to in a few minutes!"
Big George laughed..."Lord help that, boy! Hopefully he'll be able to stand your sassiness...and your feistiness!"
"Maybe he enjoys it!" Frances said saucily, arm in arm with her father, standing in the doorway of the foyer, they were finally ready to start...Frances thought she was but wouldn't budge when her father took a step. "Child,…what is wrong?" her father asked softly as she began to cry and left his large pillowy arm and Frances walked over, standing against a wall. She was in tears and her chest heaved in her nervousness, a lump had formed in her throat. "I thought I was ready for today, Pa….now I'm not so sure…." She slumped to the floor, white dress and all and buried her face in her bouquet and cried.
"You have cold feet, my sweet daughter…." The big burly man knelt beside her and eased her worry a moment.
Frances' brothers, George, John, and Joseph...and her mother were in the room as witnesses...Frances' friends from childhood and her teen years, Maggie Graff (a married woman) and her other friend Lizzie Palmer was in the auditorium as well. Fred was waiting at the front with the priest, Father Weirich….and nothing was happening. Franziska charged down the center aisle to investigate the matter.
"What is the matter, child?! We are all waiting for you!...Stand up, dear! What are you doing on the floor for God sakes?!" her mother, cross as she could be, snapped at her a little.
"Our lovely daughter is having second thoughts, I think…." Big George Gruber said softly and rubbed his daughter's arm and shoulder.
"No!...No! I want to marry him! I do…I love him so much…." She bawled. "but…but I….I don't know. I'm all nerves. I don't feel very well right now…" Frances cried and put her head down. Fred looked at the priest and then took off down the center aisle to see what was going on?
Frances looked up at him in tears and cried more and more and she felt sick to her stomach once again…"I'm sorry, Love….I don't feel very well!...I'm …I'm getting sick…." She rushed out the back door of the church and was still crying but also she felt very, very sick and she eventually began to vomit on the grass. Heaving and retching and crying still. It was a warm, pretty day in May. May 23rd…Her birthday. This was supposed to be the loveliest day of her life and it was in ruins already. She indeed wanted to marry this man…but she knew she couldn't go through with it like this. Not feeling like this. She soon found her father with his waxed up black handlebar mustache, kneeling at her side once again….her mother was there as well.
"Will there be a wedding today, my dear?" Her father asked tenderly and embraced her while sitting on the ground.
"No Father….Pa, I can't….I love him….but I can't. I feel so sick…..please tell him I'm so very sorry…." She sat there crying with her tear soaked face in her sweet pea bouquet and she still felt nauseous.
"I'm right here…my Love." He whispered. She felt his strong thick hands encircle her thin waist and help her up to her feet and his fingers smoothed her lovely face. "Do you need more time?...I'm so sorry if you feel I've rushed you into this…." Fred whispered, kissing her forehead. "I love you….I want you as my lovely, beautiful wife…"
"I'm so very sorry, my Love!" she cried with tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt sick again, resting a gentle hand on her stomach and heaved back tears and feared she would be sick once again. "I don't feel well…" she tried to explain.
"That is alright…not that you're sick of course….but….I will go talk to Father Weirich. We can reschedule….and…might you visit a doctor? If you feel ill?"
"Perhaps it's just nerves…" Frances whispered. "I'm so sorry…" a tear slipped down her cheek.
"Don't worry…" he told her sweetly and held her hands in both of his. Fred kissed them softly along with her forehead once again.
"Franziska Catherine….I am taking you to the doctor's office anyway! This day at once!" her mother insisted and took her home to change out of her wedding dress and into a lovely day dress. And they went to the doctor's office at once. Fred hung back to talk to the priest and their guests.
"Margaret…Elizabeth….." Fred said to Frances' good friends. His eyes also scanned the crowd at the immediate family and close friends of the young couple. "Everyone….Thank you all for coming out here for our wonderful day…but…there will be no wedding….today…." He said solemnly. Fred was not hurt by the outcome….quite disappointed but not hurt or angry. He was a very easy going young man and to be quite truthful, was concerned for his precious bride to be. He hoped she did not feel he was trying to rush her into marriage. Oh, but he loved her so very much….and he knew she loved him. He wanted to be her husband and to care for and protect her. He turned to Father Weirich. "Might I talk with you some more, Father? May we reschedule with you?" He asked, holding his brown Derby in his hands.
"When your fiancé is ready, why don't the both of you come and see me and we will nail down another date. Can you pay me then as well?"
"Pay you then?!" Fred exclaimed, sternly. "Why I already…" He was not thrilled by the idea…but this man was the priest. A man of the cloth. To be respected. Fred took a breath. "Yes….I will pay you…again…the day of." Fred nodded and walked out of the Holy Ghost Catholic Church. Fred went walking alone to think. He prayed he could come up with the same amount of money again for the wedding. "Good thing I have a reliable job…." The young man held quite a responsible position for the Dubuque Star Brewing Company.
Meanwhile, at the doctor's office, out came the doctor to speak with Mr. And Mrs. Gruber. "I've done several examinations on her….well…"
"Will she be alright, Doctor?" Big George questioned. Still in his best clothing and waxed handlebar mustache.
"Yes….mostly nerves….but…there is something else I believe I've discovered. She wanted me to tell you both. The young lady is quite…embarrassed."
Big George chuckled a little. "Now how bad could it be?!" The large man's chest and stomach heaved with laughter.
"George Michael!" Franziska exclaimed, looking at him. "Well…out with it, Doctor!" Mrs. Gruber demanded. She didn't want to fool around all day waiting in the doctor's office.
"Well…I believe…I believe she's….She's with child." He said softly.
"Well now!" Big George raised an eyebrow and twisted his black handlebar mustache. "Well…well…" he kept repeating to himself, quietly.
"I had a feeling it wasn't just her being nervous…a mother knows!" Franziska said. "Well George! What shall we do now?!" she snapped at him and started to ramble on.
"Oh, don't get a bee in your bonnet!" He exclaimed and chuckled as he straightened her hat over her eyes.
"George! Hands off of my new hat!" she insisted. "Now just what will we do about this…issue?!"
"Now, now my dear…." George chuckled and twisted his mustache again. "Well what else will we do but go talk to her? Come…."
Mr. And Mrs. Gruber walked into the little room where she was, buttoning up her day dress. It was a lovely dusty rose pink with ivory silk trim in a deep V at the bust with sets of round, dusty pink and ivory buttons down the left side of the dress. In the deep V, there was elegant lace which went all the way to the throat. She re-pinned the pretty brooch at her throat and straightened her pretty ivory hat with dusty pink roses and little ivory colored feathers on them. Trying to be a proper lady, she lifted her head high and looked on at her parents. The pink in her dress making her lovely red-brown hair and soft, lovely brown eyes stand out like no other.
"Well…Mother and Father….what do you have to say to me?" She questioned. Still sitting up straight and tall, trying to be confident. She feared she would start crying again at any moment. "Have I angered both of you?"
"Congratulations…my sweet daughter!" Big George made his way over to his now 18 year old daughter and covered her slender, pretty hands in both of his large ones. "My beautiful daughter is going to become a mother!…..I wondered…I see the light in your eyes when you see that man of yours! Oh, the way of a young man with his maiden…." Big George smiled and let out a tiny snicker. Frances blushed and let her head down, smirking slightly. She looked back up at her mother the next moment and straightened up again. Frances let out a sigh and blew a strand of wavy hair out of her eyes. "You're angered by my predicament….I can sense that, Mother…"
Franziska huffed and spied her eyes at her daughter. "You got yourself into this…and you, my daughter can deal with it…."
"Why I can't just get rid of the child! I can't….do away with the little soul." Frances exclaimed, horrified.
"I didn't mean that…my dear…." Franziska said softly. "….H-Have you known?" she questioned her daughter, trying to know more about the situation.
"ME?!" Frances exclaimed. "Why Mother….I thought I was just nervous!"
"You didn't notice the changes in yourself?!" Her mother questioned. "Your moods!….Your...your bust…" Franziska said in a hushed tone. "..I wondered, dear but I…."
" You what?!" Frances snapped at her mother. "What about my bust?!" she questioned, embarrassed. She just felt her cheeks turning redder by the second.
"I wondered, child…but I didn't wish to embarrass you in mentioning it…..why didn't you come to me about it?"
"I had other things on my mind, Mother! So much was happening! I hardly had time to think about how I was feeling or any physical changes….yes, I thought it was peculiar but I thought not to worry!"
"Now what are you going to do?" Her mother questioned her and went to the window and then looked back at her grown daughter.
"Now what else is there?" Frances said, confidently standing to her feet and made her way to the door and looked back at both of her parents. "I am going to marry the man I love…as intended…..and come December, I will have his child…..that's all there is to it. That man loves me, I know he does…..and I love him with all my heart and soul….I've made a mess of this day and I hope he'll forgive me for it." She walked briskly out of the doctor's office and made her way down the street. She would walk all the way home to the little Brick house in the woods by Peru Road if she had to. Her parents followed behind her. It was slightly difficult trying to follow the long quick strides the young lady was making.
"December?!...A Christmas baby?!" her mother exclaimed.
"I don't know right this moment exactly. The doctor told me probably December…Now, you're joyful Mother?!" Frances huffed and walked on.
"As long as you…make it right, my daughter…." Franziska told her. Big George was back a ways, trying to catch his breath. "This fat father of yours can't move like he used to, girl! My God!" he exclaimed.
"You'll have to tell Frederick about this, child!" Her mother exclaimed, following closely behind her.
"I know, Mother….I will in a few days…you want me to handle this, I will do so by myself. "
Frances had crossed the little wooden bridge on Peru Road and started her way to go up the hill to the Brick house. Her mother and father stood on the little bridge by the little creek, just watching her.
"She will, my dear…." Big George said, patting his wife on the shoulder. "she truly is a good young lady, even so…"
"Well…They are both adults…." Mrs. Gruber sighed. Thinking seriously about the situation and had somewhat of a change of heart.
"Yes dear…These things happen. Its just life!...I know they will be just fine. No doubt…..He is a fine young man for her."
The day had come. Frances was dressed in a lovely cream silk dress, with two different types of lace on the bust of the dress…with a light blue trim on the waistline and light blue detailing on the skirt front of the dress. She wore a light blue cameo brooch at her throat and laced up a pair of lovely ivory walking boots and donned her ivory hat with the roses and feathers on it. She was self-conscious of the hat not matching her dress, but it was what she had. She was nervous but she knew she had to see him and talk things through. She took a street car to Fred's little living arrangement….a room in the Paris hotel.
"Young lady….is this your stop?" the driver had asked, wishing to just move on his way. Frances nervously searched around in her tiny hand clutch for a nickel to pay for it. "Here you are sir…." She replied, thanking him graciously and soon stepped off the little street car, and there she was at her husband to be's front door. It was a Saturday….long after Mass time and she knew he would be home.. She felt that little sick feeling again and started to breathe and felt nervousness rise up within her. "Oh just…just do this. You have to speak with him…." Frances told herself and so she rapped her knuckles on the hard wooden door. The door soon opened and there he stood….wearing nothing but his slacks, crisp white dress shirt and tie and shoes. "Oh…I'm not properly dressed…." He turned to go put on his vest and afternoon jacket. She softly grabbed his arm and placed another hand on his torso and greeted him with a kiss. "No…you look lovely as you are…" she whispered.
"You look even more lovely…." Fred smiled at her glancing at her beauty and what she was wearing. "I don't believe I've seen this dress on you before. Very becoming…."
"Many thanks, Mon Chérie…." Frances smiled at him and welcomed her velvety lips with his own in a kiss. "I need to speak with you…." She finally told him. And so he had invited her in to his small living space, taking a seat on his little couch.
"I couldn't stand to be away from you either any longer, my Sweetheart….I was going to pay you a visit this evening." He whispered with a kiss. "but I see you've beaten me to it…" Before they knew it, she was on his lap, they were kissing and Fred softly brought her down on the little couch, her back resting on it, exploring her neck with lovely kisses, bringing her closer to him in his arms.
"Oh….that's enough…" she gasped later. Loving those sensations but knowing he should stop. She had to speak with him. She kissed him again though….and yet somehow her hand ended up placed over his most intimate spot, his clothing being a barrier. She felt the heat of his body in his most secret, intimate place and brought her hand back quickly and looked away, blushing terribly.
"You are a better person than I. I guess I'm weak in such an area…." Fred said softly.
"I never knew such a power a woman has with a man…I love you, I do….but I…." She stammered.
"I've never doubted your love for me…." He told her. "I hope you don't feel I'm trying to rush you into a marriage….or intimacy….but I love you." He said delicately. "Once we've started…it is hard to stop….we've done so several times…"
"Yes…I know…." Frances replied sensitively and looked up at him embarrassed. "we've gone a little too far…." She sighed. "I wish to be intimate….I do, my dear…but I…" Frances felt his gentle arms around her and a soft kiss upon her cheek. "I have to speak with you about something…it's quite important….."
"Don't feel upset about you having second thoughts, my Love….I understand the situation….." he told her. "I don't want to make you feel rushed."
"It wasn't just that…." Frances said, tearing up and wringing the front of her dress slightly.
"Don't cry….Mon Chérie…..Mi Amour." Fred whispered and Frances felt him brush her face with his gentle touch. She gazed up at him and saw the love in his gray-blue eyes for her. "Mein Schön Liebe…." 'My Beautiful Love', he had whispered to her in German.
"I came to speak with you…about this…it's very important, my Love…."
"You know you can tell me anything, my dear…" Fred said, holding her hand.
"I went to the doctor, and he…discovered something…" Frances told him and held both of his hands. Her soft touch smoothed over the back of his hand lovingly and she tried to smile at him. "I'm….in the family way…." She blushed, putting her head down, looking slightly away from him….and then those lovely, soft brown, twinkling eyes looked back at him…. "We're expecting our first baby…."
"Oh…" He said quietly. "Now we must marry….as soon as it is possible…" Fred glanced at her and his look softened. "My dear…..I did not mean it that way, my Love." Fred smiled softly and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. He tried to explain about his homeland and how things were done. She too was of German decent…but she had been born in America, May 23rd, 1894. The American way of life was all she knew…..except for what her parents mentioned of their homeland. " You see, in Germany…a lot of times…a man and a woman….well, they stay in a relationship, unmarried for so long….many, many years…if possible….until children come. Then they must marry. A child should have both parents in the home."
Frances only stared back at him.
"I'm different….well I...I'm an American man now…A German American of course…..but an American….I am different than I used to be when I lived in Germany…..I wanted to marry you when I first got to know you….I never meant to string you along….take advantage on you….." Fred said quietly.
"I knew what I was getting myself into…I knew I wanted you too…." Frances told him seriously and held his face in her slender, soft hands. "It takes two people….and there's no doubt that I love you, Fred Lay."
"I love you, my Franziska Catherine…." He smiled and held her hand. His hand drifted to her middle and he smiled, thinking about it. "Did your doctor say when this happy event will take place?"
"December…." Frances smiled at him. "Are you pleased about this, chéri?" she called him darling in French. She loved speaking that romantic language with him. And German, and Italian and the other languages he knew.
"Very much…." Fred whispered and kissed her softly, lingering. His strong hand brushed against her cheek and he sighed, trying to be good and have self control. "How are you? How do you feel?"
"Sick off and on through the day….but I'm doing wonderful, really, my dear…." Frances smiled and she ended up laying down in his lap.
"Are you really alright?…..Franziska?" He whispered, smoothing the length of her body and her lovely reddish brown wavy hair out of her face.
"I guess I am quite fatigued…..to be truthful…" she whispered and she felt his hands lovingly brush her clothed body.
"We should go and speak with Father Weirich…" He said later on. "we can settle another wedding date….when you're ready."
"Of course…" Frances smiled.
"Will you wear your silk polka dot dress?" Fred wondered and smoothed her lovely red-brown waves. He leaned down and kissed her, to which she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer. "If you'd like…." She smiled and giggled softly and she went in for another kiss. Frances sighed happily and smoothed the front of his crisp white shirt and asked him if he indeed was happy or ready for parenthood.
"I am pleased, yes….as far as ready…" Fred sighed. " Well I did not expect it so very soon…..but we will do what we need to do…..Although...After I pay for the wedding again and our wedding trip,…Our house will not be ready or paid for in time….I need to pay your father back…." He explained. "…would you mind living here with me until then?…..after the wedding of course." Fred smiled and chuckled a little.
"I don't mind…." Frances smiled. "Your place will be my place…." She became quiet for some time, just thinking. "I feel I do not want a large church wedding….not with our situation…."
"We will talk to the priest about the details…."
And so that day too had come. Fred met her outside the little building next door to the church where the priest lived. "You look lovely this morning…." He smiled, complimenting her silk polka dot dress to which she smiled, thanking him and he felt her grab his strong hand as they went into the little building.
"Father Weirich?" Fred called, taking off his Derby hat as he entered the room.
"Hello young man…." The priest entered the little room where the young couple stood before him. "Miss Gruber…."
"Hello Father….we wanted to speak with you again." Frances nodded politely and smiled at the man.
"Ah…yes…." The priest said solemnly and welcomed them into his office. He took a seat behind his desk and had them both sit down. He smiled as they held hands while they sat next to each other. "Such a lovely couple…" Frances blushed at the priest's comment and glanced at the man she loved and put her head down with a shy smile and glanced up at the priest while he and Fred were talking.
"I say, there's no shame in having cold feet, young lady….I'm glad you've come to me….You do want to marry, don't you?" He questioned them. Frances smiled, nodding and glanced at Fred who smiled and patted her hand sweetly.
"And…this will be a Catholic union….correct? I would assume so anyway…." Father Weirich grinned and glanced at Fred. "I believe you are the first person to ever come to me for Catholic instructions on his own, young man….in all my years in the priesthood in fact…"
"I love this woman…." Fred said, honestly. "I'm an American citizen now….my English has improved…"
"You speak English very well, Sweetheart…" Frances whispered and smiled lovingly at him.
"Her religion….is my religion." Fred finally added and smiled at her. He would be Lutheran no more. Although, there was not much difference from Lutherans and Catholicism. Frances even enjoyed the prayers in the Lutheran prayer book and she would take it into the Catholic church.
"…and you will raise any children in Catholicism?" Father Weirich questioned the young couple. "…you DO want to have children…yes?"
"Yes Father….quite soon…" Fred replied, and his glance and handsome smile met her lovely brown eyes which had a certain twinkle in them.
"My next available date will be on July 16th….of this year. Will that work for the two of you?"
The love struck couple both agreed on that date and they talked with the priest about getting married alone…No one attending the wedding. The priest had agreed to that.
"Such a charming, gracious young lady…..and a capable, industrious young man…." Father Weirich smiled. "Thank you for coming by today….I will see you back here in July then…..otherwise at Mass, of course." Father William Weirich smiled.
July 16th, 1912. Finally their wedding day. It was 8'oclock on a Tuesday morning. Father Weirich celebrated a nuptial Mass and the wedding ceremony was performed.
"Who gives away this woman?" Rev. Weirich asked, standing before the young couple. The bride adorned in a lovely gown of that time in 1912 of white chiffon over white satin. Her long bridal veil was fashioned of silk net. She had carried a cluster of sweet peas, the lovely hues of ivory, burgundy and dusty pink and a pretty lavender color as well. It was a simple, yet pretty bouquet.
"She gives herself….but with her family's blessing..." Came the reply. Big George Gruber and his wife secretly stood at the back of the church. The strikingly beautiful 18 year old young bride was the only daughter of Mr. And Mrs. George Gruber,….therefore, her father would not miss this moment for the world. He was though, let down that he did not escort her down the aisle to her groom.
So there Big George Gruber stood. Tall and stocky at the church doorway, only Father Weirich knew he was there. George knew his daughter was determined and independent…..and he was very proud of her for what she was doing on this day. He nodded as he heard the priest call the bride a "charming, gracious young woman" and he watched as the priest allowed her to join hands with her groom, and later kneel as the two were blessed. The priest sprinkled Holy Water and anointed their foreheads each with an olive oil blessed by said priest. Communion was next, and so the two took the little wafer and each a sip of wine. There was laughter in Big George's eyes as he saw the groom kneeling on the bride's dress, and then he saw his daughter step on her groom's foot with a small laugh. Such was an old German custom, which the bride and groom had good fun with. It was to signal the groom "wore the pants" in the marriage, but then to let it be known that the bride was to have the upper hand.
The phrase, "If anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." was unneeded, as no one really attended the young couple. Big George would not speak up either…..he approved of this special union.
"Do you...Frederick John Lay, take this woman to be your wife? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health...so long as you both shall live?"
"I do..." He said, smiling and gazing into Frances' loving brown eyes.
"You may place the ring on her finger…" Fred had her ring in hand, and slipped it on the ring finger on her left hand.
Father Weirich smiled and looked at Frances...He had seen this young woman grow up in his church...They had joked she had been going nine months before she was born! This day was special for him as well, he was marrying off one of his faithful parishioners'...He continued.
"And do you...Franziska Catherine Gruber,…Frances." He added with a smile. "Do you take this man to be your husband? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health…so long as you both shall live?"
"I do..." Frances said...looking at that handsome face, those wonderful gray-blue eyes. His solemn look. His strong yet soft jawline.
"You may now place his wedding ring on his ring finger."
She smiled and looked at his hand as she carefully took his ring and slipped it on his strong, long ring finger...and then she looked back up at him with the brightest smile and adoring look.
"By the power vested in me, by the state of Iowa, on this 16th day of July, nineteen hundred and twelve,….I now pronounce you,...man and wife."
They both looked at the Rev. Weirich for his signal by saying five words..."You may kiss the bride..."
After lifting her long beautiful veil, Fred took her in his arms, wrapping them around her waist, and smiled down at her...Frances wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, and in the process, she dropped her bouquet of flowers. She tilted her head and she kissed her groom!
"What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
With a smile, Big George Gruber made his way up to the young couple. "Mr. And Mrs. Fred Lay…" the big man exclaimed. "Congratulations….my daughter." He enveloped her into a loving embrace. "I am…proud of you." He then went to Fred and shook the young man's hand. "Son…Welcome to our family."
"Thank you, sir…" Fred nodded.
"Please….take care of my daughter…."
"I will….most definitely. " Fred told his new father-in-law quite seriously and solemnly. He put his hand lovingly on the small of his new wife's back and Big George proceeded to tell them to come back to the Gruber farm on Peru Road for a wedding breakfast. All of their immediate family and close friends were there to surprise them! But before that, she had changed out of her wedding dress and into the silk polka dot dress and hat. She wore the corsage pinned on the front of her dress, as did he on his suit. Frances wore the gold cross pendant around her neck. Fred sat in a chair and she stood beside him, gazing afar off….while they had their photograph taken. It took a long time to do and Frances hoped it would be over soon. Staying still for that long just seemed….ungodly! And soon….they made to the Gruber farm….and had their lovely wedding breakfast with her parents, friends and other family.
"Now where is it that you plan to live?!" Franziska questioned them. "Not at that tiny little apartment…in a hotel!" the woman cringed.
Fred raised his eyebrows in concern and glanced at his wife. She lovingly placed her hand over his to reassure him she was content with the arrangement.
"It won't be for long, Mother….just to get us started." Frances glanced at her husband with a loving "head over heels in love" look.
"Why nonsense!" Franziska exclaimed loudly. "You CAN NOT and WILL NOT bring a child…..MY grandchild into the world and into such a place! We'll build you a brick home just down the road from us. You can live on Peru Road with us!"
"That sounds reasonable…." Fred nodded. "I'll start with building as soon as I can….I'll help whenever I'm not at work at the Brewery….but first…..we have…the wedding trip…." Fred smiled at his Love. "And we'll talk of living arrangements until then…."
Soon they decided the two of them would go home to his little living arrangement in the Paris Hotel. "A few days, a few weeks…maybe a few months… living there won't be so bad…" she told her parents.
"You want me to drop you two off?" Big George offered.
"Oh no, Pa...I'm fine with walking over and taking a streetcar! That's why God gave me legs!" She said, with Fred and her walking out the door. "And I've taken streetcars before! Alone!" she called to them. "I won't have to now…" Frances smiled at the man she married.
"Oh no you're not walking down!...I'm carrying you!" Fred said, putting his arm on her back and lifting her up by her legs...
"Frederick John Lay...You are going to CARRY me all the way down the hill?" She almost laughed...she couldn't believe her ears.
"You bet I am!" He smiled at her.
Frances wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned to kiss him. They made it down the small hill and down to the little wooden bridge. She insisted to be put down in the middle of the road just before….and she gazed to the left and to the right before you came to the little creek and cute little wooden bridge.
"There…" Fred whispered, pointing to the left. We'll plant trees. Pine trees….from Germany….tons of them…." Frances smiled, closed her lovely brown eyes and breathed happily inward as she felt him kiss her neck and wrap his strong arms around her.
"And here…." Frances said breathlessly…while they walked into the little field where they had met just a couple years before. "We'll build the brick house….we'll raise a garden…. We'll both work, myself at home and you at the brewery…we'll talk of the events of the day…..eat meals together….everything else that is a marriage….Won't it be wonderful?!"
"You forgot one tiny thing….." Fred smiled and enveloped her 126 pound 5 foot something frame in his arms. "One tiny, tiny precious thing….our children. You'll bring our children into the world…" he said sweetly.
"Our very first in December of 1912…" Frances smiled and dreamed with him. She boldly kissed him first, standing there in the middle of a gravel road, with Iowa prairie land on either side of them, and the creek, and the bridge. Frances glanced over at the field where she first encountered him. And she dreamed about that day again. It was a good…yet comical memory. "Two years ago…." She sighed breathlessly and felt his arms around her middle and she placed her hands on top of his.
"Once upon a time," she began. "….there was a young girl about 17, who brought the two cows to graze in the lowlands. Here, the grass was lush and green, while in their regular pasture there was very little grass left, due to the drought. This pasture was fenced in, but where this girl had to herd them, there was no fence, all was open country,….and this girl had to stay right with them, and let them graze most of the afternoon. It was a lonesome job that she did not care too much about, but the bossies caused her no trouble, as they were grateful for the green field they were getting. This place was on this side of Peru Road, and it was so quiet one could hear a pin fall on this road, opposite from where she was sitting on a huge rock on this beautiful afternoon, with some reading material tucked under her arm, she took both bossies down to their grazing spot…..She unfolded her magazine, and sat down on "Her Story" stone to read….." Frances spoke like a playwright or actress in a play. The romantic leads, a bold young German man….the other, the shy heroine. "Later in the afternoon, she heard someone walking on Peru Road and she saw it was a stranger. He wore a black Derby and had a folded newspaper under his arm, now he was opposite from where she sat, and she was grateful that the creek was between them, for she had never seen this gentleman, and was filled with a little fright….."
"…so you were! I thought you may have been afraid of me!" Fred laughed and hugged her closer, from behind. He kissed her neck. She smiled and twirled around and faced him.
"Just then he called a greeting to her!" Frances spoke…like an actress changing scenes and emotion. Her eyes lit up.
"She sort of stared at him but did not answer so he politely repeated the greeting and again she did not answer, as she thought, " Why should I answer him when I don't know him?" He kept walking and went up a hill opposite from where she was sitting, he sat under a tree and spread out his newspaper to read, but she kept watching out of the corner of her eye.…She was glad it was soon time for her and the bossies to go home. Around this time, she was wondering what he thought of her. "Probably he thought, the girl is deaf or retarded or even both…." The girl thought." Frances looked up into his beautiful gray blue eyes and they both started to laugh at themselves and how it used to be!
"…And so home she went. After that, her cow herding was not disturbed by this stranger, for which she was glad…." Frances smiled up at him, her chest heaving and she was breathless. "I thought you were so very bold…."
"…and I did not think you were deaf or retarded….or both!" Fred laughed and held her hands in his, gazing into her soft brown eyes. "I'll never forget how you stopped in your tracks and your eyes were as wide as saucers at the sight of me…you were so shy…." He knew without a doubt, he'd love this woman the rest of his life. "You are…amazing…you are now…you were then."
Soon, they took a streetcar to the Paris Hotel. His living arrangement.
"I guess….this is ours….for a little while…" Frances looked around the tiny space.
"You don't mind it now….do you?" Fred asked her softly.
"Ignore my mother…." Frances smiled at him and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him, her body pressed snugly against his. "We will be fine here….for awhile. I can manage…." She kissed him softly once again and gazed at his solemn face. His strong, yet soft jaw….soft, loving eyes….big ears stuck fairly close to his head. Beautiful dark curly hair, swept and combed neatly into short lovely waves. "After….I…take off my dress….what shall we do? Other than the obvious!" she laughed and smiled as she kissed him, her pretty brown eyes twinkling the whole time. "What will you want for our first luncheon….my Love?"
"I can't think of anything I'm hungry for, in the line of food…" He grinned, bringing her closer to him. "We could…have coffee….or tea….we could….take our time…" she whispered, in between little kisses. "Have luncheon….and…." Frances whispered and felt her lips against his again, deepening kisses. They had been intimate several times before…but she felt each time was new and different. How he held her, how he touched her….how he kissed her…..never laying a hand on her that wasn't in love and tenderness. She felt for him, for he had been through a lot in his life….the abuse and pain he suffered at the hands of someone who was supposed to love and care for him. Somehow through that, he was learning how to love. He didn't want to put anyone…especially his loved ones through what he had gone through….. He was kind and patient. He was quiet and easy going, never getting stirred up or raising his voice. She hoped he would learn to really love himself as well.
"And then we can?..." She heard him whisper, and felt his hands exploring her clothed body. She felt his gentle kisses.
"I don't know…" she whispered, and kissed him lovingly again. "Surprise…..surprise…." Frances kissed him more and more and let out a contented sigh. "Then….we can….get on a boat…" she whispered, craving his lips against hers again. "and…see the Northern lakes….go walking in the forests….with…my Liebe für immer….." "My Forever Love", she whispered soft and low and lovingly in their language, German.
"Now...I can go make..…some coffee or tea for the two of us…" She smiled. Frances lingered there a moment as Fred wrapped his arms around her waist...and she kissed him yet again. She lay her head on his chest, his arms still wrapped around her.
"I thought you were going to go make some coffee..." Fred whispered.
She smiled up at him, and then stood on her tiptoes while she gave him one long lasting kiss….and then left for a moment to go into the kitchen...She made the coffee and was getting cups and things together...suddenly she felt a pair of hands around her waist and kisses on her neck...
"I thought you were going to let me make the coffee!" She laughed.
"I was...but I found something better to do..." Came his reply.
She turned around and leaned against the counter as he kissed her...She looked up and smirked at him. "The bold man would like to be intimate with the shy heroine….in their kitchen?!" She smirked and sent him a daring look. A smile spread across her face and her brown eyes lit up once again.
"That does sound like fun..." Fred raised his eyebrows, embracing her and going in for another kiss.
"You'd think so! You are bold..." Frances laughed. "Now let me finish with the coffee!...Go sit down at the table..."
"Yes ma'am..."
She set two cups down on the table, poured their coffee and stirred in milk and sugar.
"I thought you said you did not care for coffee..." Fred smiled..."And no tea?"
"I like variety..." She smiled...Frances took a sip of her coffee. "Its actually not that bad..." she took another small sip but then immediately spit it out. "Ugh….scratch that…..excuse me…" she knew she was getting sick and she ran from the room and into the little 1900s bathroom they had in their little apartment. Resembling the modern bathrooms we have today. She indeed became sick and made it just to the sink and not the toilet….while letting the water from the little faucet run down the drain. He was there in the doorway, looking concerned for her….She stood there with her arms barely holding herself up over the little sink, dressed in her pretty polka dot dress. Her hair a messy coil of Edwardian bun. She heaved in fresh air while she finally stopped vomiting. Fred came closer and embraced her yet she turned her face away from him…..She didn't want to become sick right there again in front of him. He grabbed a small washcloth and wet it in the cleaned sink and gingerly wiped her mouth with it, then taking another clean, fresh one to wipe off her face. "I'm so sorry…" she panted in his arms and turned her head to face him. Her head found his chest.
"I'm so sorry to see you feel like this…." Fred whispered, brushing back messy loose waves of her hair.
"It can not be helped…" she said softly.
"I know…and I'm sorry…" Fred whispered and embraced her, and held her in his arms a moment. "You must go lie down and rest….you might feel better…."
"We haven't eaten since breakfast….I am quite hungry….aren't you?" she asked him.
"You?...even after all that?" Fred asked her tenderly.
Frances nodded and smiled shyly at him. "…when you're…a mother to be…" she sighed as she felt him embrace her again and she placed her arms around him too and stayed in his loving arms a few moments. She felt their lips meet again. Then she went to his little cookstove and decided to prepare little meatballs for luncheon. She would serve them cold with sliced tomatoes, baked potatoes, cantaloupe, bread and butter. Milk. Tea. Coffee. Iced Cocoa. At last she decided to bake a 2 layer chocolate cake.. Nothing fancy. She'd try to master a 3 layer one soon. They would have that for their dessert after their supper.
"Where is our bedroom?" she whispered sensually after awhile and let out a hushed laugh. She knew. They had made love there several times before. " Then, it was your bedroom….now,…it's ours…."
They lay there together during the night when she quickly sat up out of nowhere. "My things!" she cried. "All my things…my clothes are at my parents house." She didn't know why but instantly started to cry and her husband comforted her. "We'll get them before we take off on our trip tomorrow…..How are you feeling now, huh?" Fred whispered, feeling her close to him.
"Sick again?" He whispered, after hearing her run to the little bathroom with the claw foot tub, sink and toilet. The noise answered his question. After cleaning herself up again, she was back in their bed with him. "I'm never eating tomatoes again…." She said weakly. "I may like them….but someone else does not….." She sleepily lay her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes in great fatigue. "Goodnight…"
Fred however did not sleep much either. He was worried for her and was up each time she got up again and was sick.
Authors notes: Fred and Frances ' wedding announcement said they lived in North Dubuque after the wedding. They may have lived in a little Brick house down the road from her parents, just across from the house Fred built in 1922 or 1923. I found a 1915 article that suggested to me they might have lived in the Paris Hotel….so that's what I'm going for.
The dress was polka dotted but I don't know what color it was….the engagement ring, etc. Inspiration for her dress and such are taken from a picture of F & F and she indeed had a pearl engagement ring. The setting reminds me of an angel.
Everything in this chapter is pretty much true…except for something old, new borrow and blue.