Chapter 25: A Recon Job

—

Alright, still sick but doing my best. Sly Cooper belongs to Sucker Punch, and I don't want to be sued.

Oh, and this is where the plot starts to rear its ugly head. Don't worry too much; we're… Actually, I'm not sure how much longer we'll be on this story. Hm. Oh well.

And with that out of the way… Let's get going!

—

"So what's the heist this time?"

"Another low-risk target, but we won't be taking anything material."

"What? Then how are we supposed to turn a profit?"

"Simple. We'll be taking something much more dangerous, much more valuable than anything else in the building; information."

"Okay… But what information am I looking for?"

"Oh, that's simple. See, ThiefNet got me this location, then clammed up. These guys are currently in possession of some extremely valuable information; namely, the identity of the final member of the Steele Gang, one 'Shadow'."

"Shadow? …Really?"

"I know, it's cliched and melodramatic, but as far as codenames for a person trying to keep their real identity off of everyone's radar goes… Well, it's appropriate, at least."

"Well, if this information is really so valuable, how do they have it?"

"Simple. They got lucky… Well, depending on how you look at it. In any case, they managed to screw up an operation of the Shadow's, then escape with their lives. Mostly. More or less. Okay, maybe twenty percent of their force survived."

"And… This was against one person in an all-out firefight?"

"So the story goes. They're hoping to either blackmail the Shadow into not trying to kill them all, or sell the information for a lot of money and disappear."

"Hopeful idiots, then. Who are we racing for this?"

"Racing?"

"Abby, if we have the intel secondhand, then others have it too. Who else has this information?"

"Oh crap. I-I didn't check! I can't believe I overlooked-"

"Calm down. We're on the clock and we don't know the countdown, that's fine. I'll hurry and grab that intel."

"Make sure that you get there first… And now I fear the worst."

"That one was a little forced. We can assume that at least one group is already after this intel, but no signs of forced entry just yet."

As the thief peered around a doorway, he growled.

"Scratch that. Abandon all stealth - we're going in hot for this one."

"Going in hot?"

"Right. Have Rick meet me inside the building - someone's already taken out the poor saps who had the intel."

Picking his way through the room, he grimaced. "Somebody who didn't want to leave any witnesses. Everyone in this room is dead. Looks like someone hosed down the whole place with explosives… then went through and shot every intact body in the head. It's gruesome in here."

"Geez. Talk about thorough… But it isn't anyone on the right side of the law, if they were that brutal."

"It's still warm in here. I mean, the bodies are. Whoever did this, they did it not long ago."

"Then we're not too late. Hurry."

List nodded, then broke into a sprint. It didn't take him long to reach the target room. "Found it. I hear noise on the other side. Sounds like some talking… May be multiple contacts."

"…Can you take them all out?"

"Of course."

"Do it. We can't afford to lose that intel."

List took a breath, then kicked down the door. Eyes widening, he took in the scene.

"Oh cr-"

A concussive blast knocked him off his feet, sending him crashing into the hallway. Groaning in pain, the half-coon pulled himself to his feet, watching as a pair dressed all in black combat gear stepped into the hall after him.

"List Cooper. The Shadow sends their regards, as well as a non-optional invitation."

"Are you trying to fake a voice and using a voice filter? Because seriously, it sounds dumb."

"Observant of you. What else have you noted since you walked into the room?"

"Neither of you is taking any chances - nobody's reflexes are fast enough for that explosion to have gone off, meaning you booby-trapped the door with a hairpin trigger concussion grenade. And for that matter, this entire thing was a setup."

"Clever. Explain."

"The tip Abby received was anonymous and vague. You two killed everyone in the building without alerting anyone, despite it apparently involving high explosives and quite a few bullets. But most incriminating - you called me by full name. That means I was expected. I'd bet that the intel I'm looking for isn't even here."

"Well deduced. And correct. You are coming with us."

"And that's where your plan falls apart. Even concussed, I can tell you're both barely armed. I can escape from here fairly easily."

"Which is why we did not use concussion grenades."

"…Aw, crap. Slow acting tranquilizer?"

"It's a nonlethal mixture, but you'll wake up feeling like nine kinds of hell."

"Well, in the few moments before I pass out. What should I expect when I wake up?"

"Why ruin the surprise?"

"Cheeky jerks… Just watch for the bear."

List collapsed, just as a loud crash sounded off. Both dark-clad goons spun around, seeing a mountain of fur and claw bust through the wall with an enormous roar.

"Oh cr-!"

Both were swept aside by a swing of Rick's arm, hitting the wall hard. "I guess I got here right on time, huh?" he grinned, picking up his unconscious friend. "Hey, wake up."

"…Ugh…"

"Come on, wake up!"

"…Geez, that wasn't fun. Thanks for the save, Rick. Grab one of these guys, then let's get going."

"What about the intel we came for?"

"Not here. We're gonna need to get it out of one of these jokers." List remarked, looking over at the two goons.

"Abby said that we should hurry. The police probably won't show up, but who knows what they had as backup."

"Then grab one of them and run. The safe house is near enough that I can get there on foot, so don't worry about me. I'll meet you back there."

"If you say so. Don't keep us waiting too long."

Hauling one of the unconscious goons onto his shoulder, Rick let the thief drop to the ground, then raced away. When he was sure the bear was out of earshot, List crumpled, clutching his head.

"So much pain." he mumbled, struggling back to his feet. "Whatever the hell was in that explosive, I really need to sleep it off… But first…"

A quick look around gave him the information he needed. Pulling out a calling card, he left it where it would be easily spotted, then began to climb. It didn't take him long to reach the rooftop, at which point he collapsed again, groaning in pain.

"Worst… Headache… Ever."

Picking up his cane, he surveyed the roofs. It was surprisingly clear, given Rick's noisy entrance, but that was a condition he was grateful for.

"No time to waste. Gotta get back home." he murmured, checking his location. South… That way. So the safe house was…

Now confident he knew where he was going, the thief hurried towards home. As he stepped onto a clothesline, the siren of a nearby police car went off.

Two thoughts quickly entered his mind. First, that the siren was most likely because of the commotion at the warehouse he had just been in. Second, that his splitting headache was not helping him keep his balance.

Losing his traction on the line, List fell to the street below.

—

"Wakey wakey."

Intense pain flooded his mind. Where was he?

"I said wake up."

Eyes open… Face!

Abby was pissed. Growling, she slapped the goon awake.

"Wh… What happened…?"

"Psh. You knocked out List? Either you got really lucky, or List's lost his touch. Now then. You're going to tell me everything."

"I was… Taken captive?"

"Preferably starting with the things I don't. You work for the Shadow. Therefore, you know something we can use against them."

"Oh. Torture me all you want, I won't betray her!"

"So… The Shadow is a woman."

"Crap."

"Good start. You may notice my pal Rick standing off to your left. He's the one who caused the intense pain you're feeling right now."

"He doesn't scare me."

"Good. He's here to keep me from breaking you in half for what you caused. I know, I don't look like much. But I work with complex organic chemicals very regularly. For example, this."

A small, green container was brought into view.

"B&B gas. This stuff will mess you up good. Nothing permanent, nothing lethal, but you will wish you were dead. So, am I going to have to let you find out firsthand how uncomfortable this will make you?"

"…What… What does it do?"

"B. And. B. It stands for 'Barf' and 'Block', respectively. The former is self-explanatory. The latter is as well, though it's certainly not something you want to think about. Let's just say it opens up one end, and plugs the other."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"Everyone says that. Everyone regrets it. Guess you get to regret."

—

Short chapter. Should not have taken me so long to write.'

Next chapter will be mostly expositionary. I think I've mostly recovered, but I've suffered significant damage to the inspiration, and I've no clue how long it'll take to heal.

Anyways, come back around for Chapter 26: The Deadliest Weapon.

KeyFire, making like peace and getting out.