Spoilers from S4 episode "You Don't Want to Know"

RAFTP Chapter 25

The weeding out of the applicants continued. Brennan gave a heat-stroke patient thallium in order to induce paralysis and then presented the team with a positive polio test. He claimed that he had seen patients cured in third world countries with mega-high doses of IV Vitamin C, so, unbeknownst to House, they started the treatment. Shortly after the treatment was started, she regained feeling in her legs again. Brennan proclaimed a cure, but Foreman was skeptical. He took some more blood samples, figured out that Brennan had faked the positive polio test and presented the proof to House. Brennan admitted that by 'curing' an American patient, it would stimulate interest into research for a cure for polio, a disease that was no longer on the front burner amongst drug companies since the disease was now eradicated in all but third world countries. For his unethical antics, House forced Brennan to quit and thus the applicant pool was reduced to five.

House was bored. They had finished the last case four days ago. He needed a new one to continue the weeding process on his applicants. He couldn't keep all five of them forever. As he limped into PPTH that Monday morning in early November, he spotted Cuddy striding briskly towards the clinic and he slowed his forward motion, hoping not to be seen by her. Luck was with him today as she continued on her merry way without seeing the tall doctor attempting to hide behind a large potted plant.

As he watched her gorgeous ass, sheathed in a tight black pencil skirt, walk away from him, an idea formed in his mind. He barely managed to suppress an evil grin as he stabbed the elevator button with his cane.

The kids were eagerly waiting for him in the lecture hall. As House tried to explain the rules of his newly invented immunity challenge, Kutner kept interrupting him, trying to present a potential new patient. He and Cole had gone to a show in Atlantic City the previous evening. The magician had passed out almost immediately upon being submerged in a tank of water. Kutner seemed to think that it was a mysterious case, worthy of the attention of the Almighty House and his team.

It didn't seem like much of a case to House, simple cardiac arrest upon near drowning, but Kutner persisted in his presentation of the symptoms.

House briefly closed his eyes in frustration. "Fine. Go run your tests. If you're wrong, you're fired."

Kutner replied: "If I'm right, do I stay?"

"If I say no, are you going to let your patient die?"

All heads spun around and looked at Kutner. He glanced at Cole and then got up and left the room.

Everyone turned back to House as Cut-Throat Bitch eagerly asked: "So, what's the challenge?"

House answered: "The winner gets immunity and gets to nominate two of your competitors. I will fire one of them."

He took note of the gleeful look on Cut-Throat Bitch's face and then went on.

"We can all applaud the doctor who's willing to break all the rules. But the real hero is the unsung doctor, toiling in anonymity, because he broke all the rules without getting caught. I need to know that you have these skills."

After a dramatic pause, he went on: "I need you. To bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy."

He grinned inwardly at the stunned looks on their faces. "Not kidding. Thong. Cuddy. Go."

He watched their retreating backs as they slowly left the lecture hall and then he headed back to his office.

While Kutner ran tests on his patient with 13's assistance, the rest of the team schemed on how to get Cuddy's panties.

Taub tried to spill coffee on her, thinking that if she got her panties wet, that she'd have to take them off. He missed his target and only succeeding in wetting the floor and looking like a fool. Amber held a match under the smoke detector, causing the sprinklers to go off in the clinic, but Cuddy was safe and dry in her office during the deluge.

Meanwhile, all the cardiac tests came back negative on Kutner's patient. Frustrated, he went to Foreman, who suggested looking at the lungs with an MRI.

Immediately after being placed in the MRI machine, the patient started screaming and developed internal bleeding. He was rushed to surgery.

Back in the conference room, Kutner and 13 started updating House, Foreman and Cole on the patient.

Thirteen reported: "The surgeons have transfused three units of AB positive blood, but they are still searching for the source of the bleed."

Kutner chimed in: "No trauma. Could be liver disease, Vitamin K deficiency. The only thing we know for sure it's not, nothing."

Thirteen went on: "And we would have noticed something chronic like liver disease, it's probably an intestinal infarct."

She dropped the patient's file. With an embarrassed look on her face, she quickly scooped up the contents.

Just as she stood up, Taub and Amber walked into the room. Taub cleared his throat, pulled a pair of black lace panties out of his pocket and held them up. He announced: "Eau de Cuddy."

He tossed the panties to House who caught them with the tip of his cane.

House smirked: "These aren't Cuddy's panties. She's wearing a red bra today which means the downstairs will match."

He pointed to Amber: "Hike up your skirt."

Amber laughed: "Wow, that's rude, even for you."

"Hike it down then. You're wearing a black bra. Let's see the underwear."

Amber shook her head: "No."

House glanced between Taub and Amber: "You two cut a deal."

Amber snatched her panties off the table and said: "If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough."

Eyes wide, Kutner said to Amber: "So you're not wearing any underwear?"

Foreman cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Uh, there's a guy bleeding on the operating table."

House rolled his eyes. "Foreman. She's not wearing any underwear. Sheesh, you used to be more fun. Kutner, let me see the MRI film."

Kutner answered: "We didn't get any images. He started screaming as soon as I turned it on."

House tilted his head with increased interest. "Define soon."

Kutner replied: "Uh, I didn't even have a chance to sit down."

House grinned: "You guys ever wonder how he was going to get out of that water tank? Kutner, come with me."

House strode quickly out of the room, with Kutner on his heels.

They scrubbed up, threw on sterile gowns and walked into the operating room. The surgeon was just commenting on the lacerations in the patient's digestive tract when House approached the table.

"Ladies and gentlemen. I have nothing up my sleeve, but watch this trick closely."

He stuck his hand into the patient's abdominal cavity, poked around for a moment and then triumphantly produced a bloody key. "Ta-da! Here's the reason for the sudden pain and bleeding in the MRI machine. The giant magnet moved the key through a few organs, thus the heavy bleeding. Once he's all patched up, he'll be back to hacking his magic again."

He dropped the key onto the side table and turned to Kutner: "Now, you, disappear."

HOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMDHOUSEMD

House left the hospital around 7:30 and chuckled all the way home. He couldn't wait to tell Issy about his day.

She was just pulling dinner out of the oven when he walked in, but she set everything down and ran to greet him. She cupped his face with both hands and gave him a quick kiss before taking his things.

"Hi, how was your day?"

"A barrel of laughs, wait until I tell you, but first, c'mere."

He pulled her into his arms and crashed his lips down on hers. His hands roamed down to her ass and he gave it a gentle squeeze. He smiled against her mouth as he felt her fingers tangle in his hair. This was a nice way to come home.

Reluctantly he pulled his lips off of hers. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he squeezed her tighter, actually lifting her a couple of inches off the floor.

"Hmmm, second, something smells good besides you. What's for dinner?"

"Lasagna and garlic bread. Have a seat and I'll bring it to you."

Issy brought him a big hunk of lasagna and two slices of garlic bread. He was starving but managed to wait until she was seated with her own plate before diving in. He gobbled his first serving and held his plate out for more. He ate the second helping more slowly, telling her about his day in between bites.

When he finished his tale, Issy said: "Wow. A key caused the bleeding. That's kinda cool that you just went into the surgery and found it."

House let out a burp and then said: "Yeah, you should have seen the look on Kutner's face when I held it up. That was priceless."

"So who's your favorite for winning the immunity challenge?"

"I don't know which one of them is cunning enough to outsmart Cuddy. That's the whole purpose of this game, to see who's clever enough to break the rules without getting caught."

Issy giggled: "What is the motto of that 'Survivor' TV show? Isn't it 'Outwit, outplay, outlast'?"

That sparked a little reminder in his brain. House settled back against the couch and said thoughtfully: "Something like that. And speaking of Survivor, how did you do it?"

Issy frowned and looked away from him. She started to gather the plates: "Want some dessert? I picked up a couple of cannolis at the bakery or there's some oatmeal raisin cookies."

House gently grabbed her wrist to stop her movements. "Don't try to distract me with food or sex."

Issy opened her mouth to protest, but House went on. "If dessert didn't interest me, you'd be flashing the girls at me next. I want to hear the rest of your story."

He watched as she set the dishes back down and curled up into a little ball at the far end of the couch. Her bubbly personality retreated and that of an apprehensive child emerged.

"Haven't you heard enough?"

House shook his head. "Nope, I want the whole tale."

"Your curiosity knows no bounds."

"Yeah, yeah, and it killed the cat too. I still wanna know."

Issy hugged her knees tightly to her chest and said: "OK, you can ask me one question."

"One? I wanna know the whole story."

"You get one question."

"Five."

"One."

"That's not how it works. We negotiate. You say one; I say five. You counteroffer with four."

"Two."

"Four."

"Two."

"Four."

Issy sighed: "Three."

House huffed with his victory. "Fine, three questions."

He thought for a moment, recalling exactly where she had left off in her tale.

"So you walked to the interstate and got picked up by a truck driver. What happened after that?"

"I didn't really have any idea where to go. I just wanted to get away from Akron and go somewhere that Frank wouldn't find me. The first truck driver that picked me up was heading east, so I thought I would go to New York City. I figured in a city that big, I could just get lost and no one would find me."

Issy leaned back against the couch, arms wrapped tightly around her knees. "He was a nice man; his name was Bill and he had a big white beard that made me think of Santa Claus. When I told him that, he laughed and said that he played Santa every year at Christmas. He saw my black eye and asked if I was running. I didn't answer him, but I'm sure he knew. He said that he hoped I was running to somewhere and not just running. I nodded so that he would think that I had somewhere to go. He was nice. He let me go in the back of his rig and sleep and then he bought me breakfast. I tried to pay but he wouldn't let me. When he needed to turn south, he stopped off at a truck stop and told me to ask around and I'd find someone going my way. Then he gave me 20 bucks, told me to hide my money in my sock so I wouldn't get ripped off and wished me well. I found another guy heading east, but he wasn't so nice. He took me all the way to Stroudsburg, but I had to give him a blowjob before he would let me out of the truck."

House exploded: "Fucking asshole. You were just a kid."

Issy shrugged: "It was just a blow job. I was just glad that he didn't want sex, cuz I didn't have any condoms. The next guy took me all the way into the city. He was gay, which was great; he didn't want any action from me."

He sneered: "What if you had been a runaway sixteen-year-old boy? Then he would have."

Issy thought for a moment and then said: "Naw, I don't think so. He didn't seem like a perv. He was pretty nice to me. When Ted dropped me off, it was right by the Port Authority Bus Station. There were all these hookers around and their pimps. He'd warned me about the pimps and told me not to believe anything they say or accept anything from them. A burger or a Coke might be laced with drugs. He told me to be really cautious about trusting anyone on the streets. He gave me forty bucks, which I slipped in my sock and then I climbed down from his truck. I was so scared. I didn't have a clue what I was going to do next; I didn't even know where I was going to sleep that night. I wanted to just climb back into Ted's truck and ride anywhere he was going. I felt safe with him, but it was too late. He had driven away and I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted me just hanging around anyway. I started walking up Eighth Ave and had to pass by a few hookers and their pimps. The pimps kept calling to me, telling me that they would treat me right and get me some place to live. I just ignored them, but one guy followed me all the way to 49th Street. That really scared me, but he finally gave up. I walked up Eighth Avenue to Columbus Circle and then I started walking up Broadway. After grabbing a slice of pizza, I found a Barnes and Nobles at 66th Street. It was a really big one, three stories tall. I found a quiet corner and took a nap. They woke me up at midnight when they closed the store and I walked to Central Park. Found a thick clump of bushes, crawled inside and managed to sleep a little bit more until dawn. And that was my first night in New York."

House hated to ask but he needed to know. "What did you do when your money ran out?"

Issy shrugged. "I panhandled; I took bottles and cans in for deposit."

She let out a deep sigh. "I ate out of trash cans. When the pizza joints closed for the night, they'd throw out their leftover slices so I'd try to grab some. You're not so picky when you're hungry. Sometimes I went to soup kitchens, but I was really scared of doing that. I was afraid that someone would call the cops and get me picked up because I was just a kid. So I made sure that I didn't go to the same place very often."

"One time I was walking by Jackson Hole and the burgers cooking on the grill smelled so good. I think I would have sold my right arm for one of them. So I went to the back door and asked the guy if he had any work that I could do for some food. He had me haul the grease buckets outside to the dumpster, and then I had to empty all the trashcans and wash them out. Then I cleaned the bathrooms. He gave me a big burger, some fries and ten bucks."

"Jesus! All that for ten bucks and some grub?"

"Like I could afford to be picky? Believe me, I was grateful to get that. I ate half the food then and wrapped up the rest for later. Used the cash for some badly needed tampons and a Metrocard so that I could get on the subway. I used to sleep on the subway in the wintertime. The 'A' train runs from the top of Manhattan all the way to Rockaway Beach in Queens. I'd get on, ride to the end, hop around to the other track and get back on again. I could catch two hours sleep each way and be fairly warm. Sometimes the conductor would hassle me, but then I'd just get off and wait for the next train. Some people would sleep on heating grates or in unlocked foyers, but I never felt safe doing that. In the summer, I'd go deep into the park and hide in some bushes to sleep. Or I'd sleep at Barnes and Noble's or at the library in the daytime and walk all night. It was hard on the streets. You felt like you could never really sleep; you always had to keep one eye open for the cops or a creep. There were days when I would have sold my soul for a hot shower, clean clothes and a soft bed."

"Did you ever?"

Issy interrupted him: "You've had your three questions. Actually you asked four, but I let you get away with the one about the gay truck driver and if I'd been a sixteen-year-old boy."

"But."

Issy stood up and started collecting the dishes. "No buts. I answered three questions and that's enough for tonight, Doc. It's hard for me to talk about this. It's a painful part of my life that I'd like to put behind me. I'm gonna clean up the kitchen. Just let me know if you want any dessert."

With the dishes in her hands, she headed off to the kitchen leaving House to ponder her words. Issy was a tough cookie, no doubt about it. After years of abuse and homelessness, she had somehow managed to rise above all of that and get into nursing school. A few more months and she'd have a decent respectable job and any residual fears of homelessness and poverty could be behind her. After all she had been through, House still found it amazing that she was not dead or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Her strength of character shone through, but the events of her life definitely affected her psyche, no matter how deeply she had it buried. Not that he was one to talk; he had his own issues, but at least they didn't manifest as a bad stutter. He did at least have one good friend, while she seemed to have none. He knew that it was due to the fact that she needed to hide her former occupation and wondered if that would change after she became a nurse. He didn't want to think of her as a lonely woman with only a dog to keep her company.

He shook his head; what was he doing worrying about her future? After June, she would be out of his life and what she did was her own business. He still wanted to know the rest of her story, how she ended up in New Jersey and how she got into nursing school, but that would have to wait for another night.

Noises from the kitchen indicated that Issy was almost done with the cleanup. House got up and limped into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"You mentioned dessert."

She turned to face him. "Yes, we've got cannolis and cookies. What are you in the mood for?"

"What say we hide the cannoli?"

She gave him a sultry smile. "Sounds good to me."