Figuring It Out

by Kesterpan

Sequel to my first story, Post Obsession Conversation. Gibbs/DiNozzo slash. Gibbs and Tony try to figure out where their relationship is headed after the revelations in Gibbs' basement. The team helps. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious.

25. Chapter 25

Only one day late! Go me. A special shout out to Sweetsexytony, whose comment in a review led to the scene in the wood shop. Many thanks to all of you who continue to provide feedback – it's so very much appreciated! The warning for this chapter: very explicit m/m sex in the last section, so if you don't like that stuff, stop there! And I know almost nothing about woodworking; everything is either out of my imagination, from what little I've witnessed or guessed, and a little bit of research. Unbetaed as always, so I apologize if I missed something.

25: Wood and Words

Morning Coffee

"Tony… hey… c'mon, Tone… time to get up…"

Tony swam up to consciousness – barely. He heard the soft voice calling him, but he really wanted to ignore it. He was comfortable; he felt boneless in that way he got after a really great night's sleep. He snuggled down under the sheets, turning his face into the pillow a bit.

The scent of fresh coffee made him perk up just a bit. He could feel the steam on his face, so he knew Jethro had to be holding it right near him. Nope. Not gonna be that easy. He mumbled something incoherent and pulled the sheet up over his face. There was a faint sound as he supposed Jethro put the coffee cup on the nightstand. There was no other follow up, no sense that there was anything in his personal space. He settled down and let the quiet lull him into drifting off again.

"DiNozzo! Up and at 'em!"

Tony threw himself upright, responding instinctively to the loud, growled command. "On it, Boss!"

He looked around alertly, and saw Jethro standing at the foot of the bed, smirking at him. Tony scowled. "That's cheating!" he complained.

Jethro shrugged and had a sip of his coffee. "Worked."

Tony narrowed his eyes. Jethro nodded his head toward the nightstand. Tony glanced over at the coffee waiting for him, then pouted. Jethro raised his eyebrows. Tony sighed, then reached out to grab the coffee. He looked at it suspiciously. "Is this your style or mine?"

"Try it and see."

Tony raised the cup to his mouth, and just before taking a sip shut his eyes and screwed up his face. He took a tiny sip, registering Jethro's snort of amusement, then lowered the cup. He held the coffee in his mouth for a moment, swishing it around, before swallowing and looking at Jethro with a big smile. "Thanks."

Jethro inclined his head in acknowledgment, then moved over to the dresser, setting down his mug. He reached into the basket sitting on the chair nearby, and started tossing rolled up socks into a drawer. Tony stared. "When did you do laundry?"

"When I got up a couple of hours ago."

"Why the heck did you get up at –" Tony glanced at the clock next to the bed "-uh… " His voice trailed off weakly as he realized it was nearly ten.

Jethro looked at him expressionlessly, then lobbed a pair of rolled up socks at his head. They bounced off. "I tried to wake you around 6, but you were really out of it. I got bored after a while."

Tony grinned. "I'm impressed that you stayed in bed for what… an hour or more?"

Jethro shot him a slight smile. "I was being optimistic."

Tony's expression turned sheepish. "Sorry about that."

Jethro shrugged. "I'll take a rain check."

Tony leered at him. "Could cash it in now."

Jethro shook his head. "Nah, got things to do today. I want to go to a woodworking shop out in Springfield. They're having a cabinet making demo this weekend, and there's some handcrafted cabinets on display. Thought you could get some ideas about what you want yours to be like. There's also a few tools I'll need, and that's the only place around here that carries 'em."

Tony frowned. "How come you didn't mention this yesterday?"

Jethro looked at him impatiently. "I didn't know about it yesterday. I called a few minutes ago to see if they had what I needed in stock, and Harry told me about the display."

"Right." Tony nodded. "Harry."

Jethro threw another pair of socks; this time Tony caught them. "Just go get ready. You can have a bagel in the car."

Tony tossed the socks back to Jethro, then climbed out of bed. He took advantage of his lack of clothing and stretched, arms straight out overhead, arching his back a bit. Relaxing, he looked over at Jethro, who was staring at him with an appreciative look on his face. He grinned when Jethro's eyes moved back up to his face. Jethro grinned back. "Nice try. Go shower."

Tony's face fell. He walked past Jethro, muttering quietly. "Way to trash my ego, Jeth." He'd almost reached the bathroom door when he was grabbed from behind, hands on his shoulders forcibly turning him around. Jethro backed him into the wall, then moved to press his body to Tony's. One hand moved up from Tony's shoulder to grip his hair just shy of painfully, while the other grabbed Tony's right hand and moved it down, pushing it against Jethro's groin. Tony could easily feel the hard ridge of flesh through the fabric of Jethro's jeans. Jethro's eyes met his. "Feel that?"

Tony nodded.

"That," Jethro said, "should help your ego." He closed his eyes and leaned in, kissing Tony gently, at odds with the way he was gripping Tony's hair and hand. He pulled back and looked Tony in the eye again. "God, I want you." He let go of Tony's hand and lightened his grip on his hair. "This is about more than just sex. You know that, I know that… but I want to live it, too." He moved his hand away and stepped back.

Tony looked at him for a moment, then moved forward, lifting his own hands to cup Jethro's face, leaning in and returning the kiss, taking it just a little bit further, running his tongue along Jethro's lips, getting a small sound of pleasure from him. He moved back, dropping his hands, and waited until he saw Jethro glance down at his groin. Tony grinned when Jethro reflexively licked his lips. "Okay. I get that. Just so you know," he gestured toward his own erection, "I feel the same." He turned and walked into the bathroom, starting to close the door, then stopped and poked his head around the door's edge. "And I want an everything bagel. With honey nut cream cheese. And chives." He grinned at Jethro's eye roll, then shut the door.

More Shopping

It hadn't taken as long to get to Woodcraft in Springfield as Tony had expected, but seeing as how Jethro was the one driving, Tony really should have known better. Tony looked around curiously as they walked in; he'd never been in a shop like this before. He trailed after Jethro, who moved purposefully to the small group of men and a few women who were gathered around a workbench in a cleared area of the store, watching a man demonstrating something with a partially put together cabinet. Jethro moved in close enough to see what was happening, while Tony hung back to watch him. He wanted to learn from Jethro, not from a stranger, so he didn't pay any attention to what was going on. He saw a couple of women wandering around the store with slightly bored expressions, and he guessed correctly that they had accompanied some of the men who were engrossed in the demo.

Tony looked back toward the group to see Jethro walking back his way. "They're doing some pretty basic stuff," Jethro said. "We could go over there – "nodding his head in the direction of another large, cleared space in the building "- unless you want to watch?"

Tony shook his head. "I want you to teach me."

Jethro smiled at him, then turned toward the other side of the store, Tony following behind. There were cabinets of all shapes and sizes set out in neat rows, each with a sign indicating the type of wood and tools used and the name of the builder. Jethro started wandering through them, while Tony stopped to look at each one, trying to decide what he liked.

There was one other person wandering around and looking at the cabinets, a woman Tony automatically placed in her late twenties or early thirties. She gave Tony a brief smile when she ended up on the other side of the cabinet he was looking at. He noticed her ring, then smiled at her. "Husband over there?" he asked, gesturing back toward the class.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah. But it's my fault… I got him his first woodworking tool set."

He grinned at her, then looked around at the cabinets. "Gonna make him make you one?"

She looked around at the cabinet, then back at Tony and shot him a slightly wicked smile. "Of course. I'm trying to decide on which one looks to be the most difficult to do."

Tony laughed and started to say something else; she glanced over his shoulder, and he turned to see Jethro walking over. "Tony, come see this one. I think you'll like it." Jethro reached out and grasped Tony's hand, interlacing their fingers and squeezing gently. The enthusiasm on his face was endearing, but Tony was more charmed by the fact that Jethro had taken his hand, in public, and didn't even seem to realize it. He glanced back at the woman, whose eyes were wide and whose mouth was slightly open in surprise. Tony opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't think of anything; he settled for giving her a sheepish grin and a slight, helpless shrug. Her expression transformed to a smirk; she glanced at Jethro and gave Tony a thumbs up before turning to look at a cabinet.

"C'mon, Tony," Jethro said, tugging slightly, sounding equal parts eager and impatient.

Laughing quietly, Tony tugged back. "Jeth!"

Jethro turned to look at him. "What?"

Tony stared at him for a second, then down at their joined hands. Jethro looked back, puzzled, then down; his own eyes widened in realization, his face turned red, and he hastily disentangled their fingers. Tony grinned widely. "You must really like me!"

Jethro's face turned even redder, and he looked away, glanced at the woman who was looking back at them and smiling, then mumbled something unintelligible. He whirled around and stalked back the way he'd come, Tony following with a huge grin on his face.

They reached the cabinet in question; Jethro seemed to have recovered his composure, and Tony decided not to tease him any more… not yet, anyway. Jethro gestured at the cabinet, asking Tony what he thought of the inlaid design of the cabinet doors. Tony considered it and decided he really did like it. "Can you do that?" he asked.

Jethro shot him a look. "I can build an entire boat, DiNozzo… I think I can do some inlay on a cabinet door."

Tony shot Jethro a look right back. "In that case, I want doors like that. But you have to do an original design."

Jethro gave him a curt nod, then set off for another part of the store that held stacks of various types of wood. Tony stayed where he was, watching him walk away. I guess he's a little pissed off. He sighed, then started to wander around, looking at some of the elegantly crafted door handles. He stopped in front of one cabinet that had sturdy-looking handles that tapered to delicate scrollwork on each end.

"DiNozzo!"

Tony's head shot up, and he saw Jethro standing by some of the darker wood, looking impatient. He sighed, then moved in Jethro's direction, breaking into a slow jog. "On your six, Boss," he said as he drew closer. Jethro shot him a surprised look. Tony just looked back. Jethro glanced back in the direction of the cabinets, then sighed, looking back at Tony and nodding. He made a visible effort to relax the tension out of his shoulders. "What sort of wood do you like for the inlay, Tony?"

Tony smiled at him, then looked around. "Can you make handles that match the inlay? And does that make a difference for the type of wood we pick?"

Jethro thought about that, then directed Tony over to some of the walnut that Tony had liked so much, but that they'd decided against because the dust would be bad for Tony's lungs. "We could use walnut, and a lighter stain then we were thinking for the rest of it. You just couldn't be there for the cutting and sanding."

Tony grimaced. "What if I wear a mask?"

Jethro hesitated.

"What if I wear a really good mask? I could ask Brad, see what he thinks."

Jethro gave in. "If your doctor says that's okay, then fine."

Tony mentioned the handles he'd liked, and they went back to look at them. Jethro said he could design something similar; they then gathered up the tools he'd wanted, as well as some of the walnut, paid for it all, and bundled it into the car. Through it all Jethro remained more relaxed, but Tony could tell he was a little distant.

After Tony got into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt, he reached out to grab Jethro's hand before the other man could start the car. "Hey," he said, "I liked you taking my hand in the store. And it was fine. That woman didn't have a problem with it, and it's not like anyone else was there to notice."

Jethro stared out the windshield, shaking his head. "I wasn't thinking."

Tony squeezed his hand. "Is that such a bad thing?"

Jethro kept looking stubbornly out the window. "You pointed out a couple of days ago that I was slipping up at work. What if I'd done that at the office, or at a crime scene?"

Tony stared at him, then laughed. "Do you really think that you, in work mode, at a crime scene, would lead me by the hand to where you wanted pictures taken? Or to show me some evidence?"

The corner of Jethro's mouth twitched. "Well, no. I guess not."

"I know not. C'mon, Jeth." Tony squeezed Jethro's hand again, hoping to get him to look his way. An unpleasant thought crossed Tony's mind when Jethro still wouldn't look at him. He slowly let go of Jethro's hand and looked out the window too. "I thought you were okay with us… but maybe you aren't? Not when we're alone, then I know it's all good… but maybe when we're out somewhere – maybe you're ashamed?"

Jethro turned toward Tony, his expression a combination of surprise and a little anger. "Tony –"

Tony did some hasty verbal back-pedaling. "I don't mean of me… I know you're not ashamed of me personally, Jeth. I mean, this whole being with a man thing. You gotta admit, it's a bit hinky if you really think about it."

Jethro stared at Tony. "Tony. I'm certainly not ashamed of you, or of being with you. I don't even think of you as a man, most of the time we're together."

Tony's jaw dropped; he stared at Jethro. "Well, thanks a ton. What, I'm the woman in this relationship?"

Jethro stared back. The corners of his mouth twitched again, and then he broke down and started to laugh. Tony glared at him, then undid his seat belt and moved to open the car door. Jethro reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Tony! Look, I'm sorry… that came out wrong. Let me explain?"

The apology combined with the question was surprising enough that it distracted Tony from his budding anger, despite Jethro's continuing chuckles. He sat back, grumbling. "This had better be good."

Jethro reached out to touch Tony's cheek, and Tony flinched away. That was enough to stop any remaining laughter. Jethro let his hand drop, and he looked at Tony seriously. "Tony, listen. I didn't mean that I don't think of you as a man, or that your masculinity is in any way in question. Do you doubt mine, now that we're together?"

Tony shot Jethro a shocked look. "Of course not. You're Gibbs. You'll always be Gibbs. I've never met anyone more masculine than you."

"Well, that works both ways. All I meant was that you're Tony, all the time. When I think about the fact that we're together, I'm not always telling myself that you're a man… it's not relevant. I didn't mean that I think of you as anything other than a man, I just meant that the fact that you're a man isn't important. The fact that you're you is." Jethro raised his hand again, and hesitantly reached for Tony's face. This time Tony didn't flinch away. Jethro caressed Tony's cheek for a moment. "Do you get that?"

Tony's eyes searched Jethro's face, and after a moment he relaxed. "Yeah, I guess I do." He sighed and leaned in to Jethro's continued caressing.

Jethro smiled at him. "We're good?"

Tony nodded. "We're good." He smiled back, then moved away and grabbed his seat belt again. "Lunch?"

Jethro smiled and nodded. "Lunch." He started up the car, pulled out of the spot without really looking first, then started for the exit from the parking lot, commenting on a good pizza place nearby. Once he pulled out of the lot and onto the main road, he reached for Tony's hand, and they kept that connection until they reached the restaurant.

Dinner, No Movie

Tony stretched out on the couch while he waited for Jethro to bring the steaks into the living room. They'd had a good day. By the time they'd gotten back to the house from Springfield, it had been mid-afternoon, and Jethro had rather guiltily asked if they could maybe watch a movie at Tony's place some other time. He'd wanted to get everything organized and make some of the initial measurements and cuts for the cabinet. Tony didn't have a problem with it; as far as he was concerned, it didn't matter much to him where they were or what they were doing as long as they were together. He didn't tell Jethro that; they'd been close enough to sappy in the car earlier. He just made Jethro promise that they would watch a movie together, soon.

Tony shifted over when Jethro came in with the food. Their beers were already sitting on the coffee table, and Tony had brought the utensils out earlier. Jethro set the plates on the table and sat next to Tony, legs touching. They picked up their beers and clicked the necks together. After his first sip, Tony dug into the steak, practically inhaling the first few pieces, then slowed down a bit so he could talk.

"Can you believe we didn't get a case this weekend? Weird, huh?"

Jethro smiled. "Yeah… when was the last time we were on call and didn't have to go in? Not that I'm complaining. It was nice to get started downstairs."

Tony nodded. He'd gotten a lesson in choosing which piece of wood would go where, as well as measuring, cutting and sanding. He'd picked up on that pretty quickly, and before too long they'd managed to get most of the pieces that would frame the cabinet ready for the more intricate work of fitting it all together. They were planning to go back down so that Jethro could explain how the plans translated into working on the wood, and maybe they'd get a little more done before calling it a night. Tony hadn't decided if he was going to stay over; he hadn't brought work clothes with him, so he would have to go home at some point. He planned to wait and see if Jethro made any suggestions.

They ate quickly, and Tony cleaned up in the kitchen afterwards, while Jethro headed back downstairs. Once he finished up in the kitchen, Tony headed downstairs to join him. He paused about two thirds of the way down, looking into the empty space where the boat had been. He missed the boat. Maybe he could get Jethro to start another one they could build together. His thoughts wandered, and he suddenly flashed back to that dream again, physically jumping when it seemed he could see Paul Johnson standing there in the middle of the basement. He swore softly, shook himself, and descended the rest of the way.

Jethro glanced up when Tony reached him. "You okay?"

Tony nodded and attempted to deflect the question, gesturing toward the plans that Jethro had laid out on the work bench. "So what's the next step?"

Surprisingly, it worked. Jethro taught Tony more of the basics over the next hour, and then they each sat down, Jethro perched on a sawhorse and Tony on a chair, sanding the cut edges of last two sections that were going to form the cabinet walls.

Jethro worked quietly for a few minutes, then glanced over at Tony. "You staying over tonight?"

Tony looked over at him. "I could. Gotta get up early if I do; didn't bring the right clothes for tomorrow."

Jethro nodded. He worked a bit more, then put down the sandpaper and ran his fingers over the wood, feeling for any rough spots. "You mind?"

Tony smiled. "Depends. You think my boss'll be pissed if I'm a few minutes late?"

Jethro shrugged. "Nah. He can be pretty understanding."

Tony tried to stop his snort of disbelief; he wasn't successful. He looked over at Jethro, who continued to sand with a small smirk on his face.

After a few more minutes, Tony got up and brought his piece of wood over to Jethro to examine. Jethro found a small rough patch and sent Tony back to do more sanding. Tony changed the subject as he sat back down and picked up the sandpaper. "Think Vance'll start pushing? I don't buy the idea that he'll really leave me alone for another week or more."

Jethro turned his piece of wood over and started on the other cut side. "No, I think he'll start giving you more to think about, under the guise of making sure you have enough information to make the right decision."

"Which would be the decision he wants me to make."

"Yeah."

A pause with only the sound of sandpaper rubbing against wood.

"He'll probably also try to guilt trip you about McGee. Don't let him."

Tony sighed at that one, but left it alone. He changed the subject. "You really think you need to interrogate Johnson some more tomorrow?" He kept sanding, but stopped when he realized Jethro wasn't working anymore. Tony looked up to see Jethro staring off into space. "Jeth?"

Jethro shook his head, then looked back at Tony. He set the sandpaper down on the workbench and got up to pour himself a shot of bourbon. He held out the bottle toward Tony, raising his eyebrows in question. Tony shook his head. Jethro set the bottle back down, picked up the glass, and went back to his seat. "I'd rather not. I want to believe we have enough on him with the confessions he made, but I don't want any holes his lawyer can wiggle him through. Was thinking I'd talk to Ducky in the morning, see if he has any advice with that forensic psych degree."

Tony nodded unhappily. He didn't want Jethro to go anywhere near Johnson, but he didn't want the guy out on the street because they didn't take the investigation far enough either. He watched Jethro as he picked up the sandpaper again and finished off his piece.

Jethro set the wood and the sandpaper down on the workbench and stood, stretching. "You got much more on that?"

Tony looked back down at the wood. "Yeah, some rough spots still on this side. Shouldn't be too much longer."

Jethro nodded and walked over to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "So… you staying?"

Tony looked up and met Jethro's eyes. He could clearly see that Jethro was hoping he would, and he really didn't think he could say no now that he'd seen that. He hadn't really wanted to, anyway. Not like I didn't get plenty of sleep last night. "Yeah."

Jethro smiled, one of those happy, warm smiles that made Tony want to do just about anything for him. Those smiles weren't as rare as they used to be, but they still didn't happen all that frequently. Tony felt Jethro's hand squeeze his shoulder. "Come on up when you're done. I'll be in the bedroom." Tony nodded and turned to watch Jethro go upstairs. He went back to sanding for a few minutes, then stopped and stared into the open space of the basement again. Memories of that dream crowded into his head once more. He started sanding with more vigor, but they wouldn't leave him alone. He stopped, frustrated, and looked around the basement, then at the stairs. He listened for a moment but heard nothing. His mouth opened, then shut; he exhaled loudly, then gave himself a light head slap. Looking around again, he called out quietly, "Shannon?"

He waited for a few minutes, then tried again. "Shannon? Can you hear me?"

Nothing. He sighed, then laughed at himself a bit. He ran his fingers along the wood, found a tiny rough spot and sanded it smooth. He put the wood and paper on the bench, then stood, stretched, and turned toward the stairs.

Hi, Tony.

"Shannon?"

That would be me, yes.

"You really are a Gibbs," he muttered.

He heard that same light giggle from their last conversation.

"Shannon, I just… I have a question for you."

Okay.

"Did you send me that dream, the other night?"

There was a pause. Tony, I have no idea what you're talking about. What dream?

"Oh. Ah, never mind. I just thought maybe you'd sent it to me."

I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to do that.

"Sorry."

Don't apologize. Was it… was it about Jethro?

"Yeah."

A bad dream?

"Yeah." Tony shifted uncomfortably. "Look, I'm sorry. It was just a dream. You were in it, and this was before I, uh, met you… well, kinda met, anyway… so after you talked to me, I thought maybe…"

Was Jethro hurt? Shannon sounded worried.

"No, just… I couldn't find him, and I came here, and you were here and said that I had to find him before it was too late."

Oh. Well, I have no idea why you would dream that. Do you?

"Um… maybe? We've been dealing with this really creepy guy, and he's kind of fixated on Jethro, and not in a good way. But he's locked up now. So it's probably nothing, just my subconscious messing with my head."

I'm glad he can't do any harm. Hey, Tony?

"Yeah?"

I'm here if you need to talk again… as much as I can be, at least.

"Thanks, Shannon. You know, I think Jethro was really lucky to have you in his life."

Ooh, make sure you tell him that!

Tony smiled. "I'm sure he knows."

The sound of laughter again, then silence, and the sense of her presence was gone.

Another First

Tony went upstairs and found Jethro in the bedroom, dressed only in a shirt and boxers. He was holding a hammer and had just stepped back from the wall to the right of the bed, where he'd put up the two pictures Abby had taken. He looked up and smiled at Tony as he walked into the room. "What do you think?"

Tony walked over and stood next to Jethro. "Nice. The guy with the silver hair is particularly hot."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah."

Jethro shot him a grin and turned to leave the room, intending to put the hammer away. Tony contemplated the pictures for a few moments, remembering the dinner that had followed the scene they depicted. Seems like it was months ago, not just a few days. A lot's happened since then. He turned and went into the bathroom.

When he came back out, having removed everything except his shirt and boxers, it was to see Jethro sprawled out on the bed, leaning back against the head board, naked. The look he was giving Tony was intense. Tony stared back, then pulled off his own shirt and boxers, dropped them on the floor, and crawled up onto the bed, stretching out next to Jethro but not touching him.

They looked at each other for a long moment, then Jethro turned onto his side, facing Tony, and reached out to cup on hand behind Tony's head, pulling him in for a long, slow kiss. Tony's hands slid up to Jethro's waist, and he stroked his thumb over smooth skin while his lips and tongue met with and slid against Jethro's. A small sound of pleasure escaped Jethro's mouth; he moved from his side to his stomach, pinning Tony down, one hand reaching up to tangle fingers in Tony's hair, his kisses becoming more urgent.

Tony draped his leg over Jethro's, pulling the other man more firmly against him. His hand moved from Jethro's waist to his back, caressing steadily. The other hand went up to Jethro's hair, which was long enough in places for Tony to get a grip on it; he did so and tugged firmly, pulling Jethro's head back and lifting his own to nip and lick at Jethro's neck. The soft moan and whispered "yeah" he got from his lover encouraged him, and he moved his legs to get enough leverage to push against the mattress and turn Jethro on to his back. He continued the assault on Jethro's neck, sometimes moving down to his chest or up to his mouth, keeping his grip on Jethro's hair so he couldn't do much to reciprocate. Jethro's hands moved over Tony's back and ass, gripping and stroking; after a few minutes, Jethro was writhing under Tony, trying to get more firm contact to his groin.

Tony pulled back, breathing hard, intending to ask Jethro what he wanted, when Jethro shoved Tony back over on to his side. He gave Tony a lingering kiss, then moved to look Tony in the eye. "I want you in me," he said.

Tony froze. He hadn't expected that. He knew Jethro had almost no experience with being on the receiving end of penetration, just what little they had done together already. Tony hadn't even thought much about it, beyond a vague hope that Jethro meant it when he'd said he was willing to try it with Tony.

Tony reached up to touch Jethro's face. "Is this just because of what we were talking about in the car? 'Cause I'd rather not if you're offering 'cause you think my ego needs it. Which it doesn't."

Jethro shook his head and gently caressed Tony's ass and the back of his thigh. "You seemed to really enjoy it the other night. I want to try it. Maybe I'm offering a little sooner because of what I said this morning, but I've been thinking about it."

Tony gave him a skeptical look. "Really?"

Jethro pinched Tony's ass, making him jump a little. "Have I ever lied to you, Tony?"

Tony thought about that. "No. Withheld info, yeah. You holding back now?"

Jethro gave Tony an exasperated look. "Only about the fact that I'm a little apprehensive about it. But I want to anyway."

Tony looked seriously into Jethro's eyes. "Give me a safe word."

Jethro looked surprised. "Tony, I trust you."

Tony shook his head. "I know that. It's not about trust, it's about this being new for you and you not really knowing how much you can take. I think your offer has more to do with earlier today than you think it does. So safe word or we do something else."

Jethro tried again. "Tony…"

Tony sighed. "You can't use my name as a safe word, Jethro. You might say it in a different context." Then he grinned.

The head slap came swiftly, and didn't diminish Tony's smile in the least. "Ooh, kinky, Jeth." Then his expression turned serious. "I mean it. Safe word."

Jethro sighed. "Coffee."

Tony laughed. "How did I not anticipate that one?" he muttered, leaning in to reward Jethro with a light kiss before shaking his head. "You really want that word to take on a whole new meaning at work?"

Jethro opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. "Maybe not," he conceded. He looked at Tony. "Is it always this difficult?"

Tony grinned. "Only with you."

"Smart ass."

"That could be a good one."

Jethro stuck his tongue out at Tony. "I might want to use that one at work too."

Tony sighed. He ran fingers through Jethro's hair. "How about a word McGee would use, you know, something he says when he's trying to explain that computer voodoo stuff he does? No danger of you ever using one of those."

Jethro nodded. "Sounds good."

Tony waited. Jethro just looked at him. "Uh… word, Jeth?"

Jethro's expression turned sly. "You think I know any of those words, Tony?"

Tony laughed. "Point taken. Okay, how about… um… how about binary? You ever gonna use that in casual conversation?"

"Doubt it. Binary it is then."

Tony rolled Jethro over onto his back, moving to his hands and knees. He stared down at the older man. "I need you to very seriously promise me that you'll use it if you need to. If you don't enjoy this, I don't want to do it. So no just going through with it 'cause you're a Marine. You promise?"

Jethro gazed back up at Tony. He nodded once. "I promise, Tony."

Tony searched his eyes again, then smiled. He leaned down and kissed Jethro's lips quickly, then moved away toward the nightstand, digging through the drawer for lube and a condom. Jethro turned his head to watch. Tony glanced over at him, then rummaged through the drawer a bit more, coming up with a small bottle of massage oil. He grinned, then left the condom and lube on the table and shifted around to kneel on the bed. "We'll take it slow, get back in the mood. Turn over on your stomach… here, wait a sec." Tony grabbed one of the pillows and positioned it under Jethro's waist. "This'll make it easier."

Jethro grunted as he moved into place, feeling slightly silly. "So much for spontaneity," he commented, as he reached down to adjust his cock to a more comfortable position.

Tony snorted. "Gonna be careful with you, Jeth. If I'm not, you won't want to do this again, and believe me, I'm gonna make it so good for you that you will be begging for it."

Jethro turned and shot Tony an incredulous look.

"Well, okay. It'll be so good that you won't mind doing it again."

Jethro moved his head back to rest on a pillow, huffing out a breath. He shivered a bit when Tony ran his fingers lightly across his back. There was a pause, then Tony moved to straddle Jethro, sitting on his thighs, and Jethro could hear his hands rubbing together. Then Tony's hands were on Jethro's shoulder, slick with oil, and Jethro relaxed into the pillows as Tony started massaging in earnest.

It wasn't really sexual, if he ignored the part about being naked. Tony worked on his shoulders, neck, and back for a while, getting the muscles to give, releasing tension. He moved down to do the same to Jethro's buttocks, legs, and feet. Jethro felt himself become more and more boneless, and whatever apprehension he might still be feeling disappeared, smoothed away by Tony's very talented hands. He felt extremely content and pretty much ready for anything.

Tony must have sensed when the last of Jethro's concerns vanished, because the movement and intent of his hands changed. They were on Jethro's lower legs when it happened. The pressure lightened, the touch skimmed over the muscles, and Tony moved his legs so they were pressed more firmly against Jethro's. His hands moved up to Jethro's ass, rubbing slowly over the flesh, giving him a slower and much more intimate massage, before moving up Jethro's spine to his neck and the back of his head. Jethro felt Tony shift around until he was lying on Jethro, covering him but keeping much of his weight on his legs and lower arms.

Tony pressed a kiss to Jethro's neck, then his cheek, then contorted himself enough to reach Jethro's lips. He ran his tongue over them, then shifted back to Jethro's ear. "Give me your safe word, Jeth."

Jethro was silent for a moment, then he spoke. "Binary," he said quietly, his voice carrying some confusion with it.

Tony smiled and licked Jethro's ear. "Good. Just making sure you remembered. You need it, you use it."

Jethro nodded.

Tony stretched his arms up over his head, running his hands along Jethro's arms, caressing and massaging Jethro's hands and fingers for a moment, then shifted his lower body so his cock was up against the cleft between Jethro's ass cheeks. He let his weight rest on Jethro body for a moment, pressing against him. He kissed Jethro's temple, then whispered in his ear. "I love you, Jethro."

Jethro shuddered and sighed. Tony's hands slid back down Jethro's arms; he raised himself up and reached over for the condom and lube, leaving the condom packet on the bed while he opened up the lube put a decent amount on the fingers of his right hand. He tapped Jethro's waist with his left hand. "Shift up for a sec."

Jethro raised his hips, and Tony shifted over onto his left side a bit, moving his left arm underneath to palm Jethro's cock. Jethro pressed down into Tony's grip, moaning softly at the contact. Tony pressed a kiss to Jethro's back, the moved his right hand to Jethro's ass. He ran his palm over the firm muscle, then moved his fingers into the cleft, sliding them along the skin there. Jethro made another sound and pressed his cock down into Tony's hand again. Tony gave it a slight squeeze, moving his fingertips over the tight ring of Jethro's anus as the same time. Jethro gasped and twitched a bit. Tony slid his index finger along the puckered ridge, then slipped it in, using a circular motion to press outward, just a little, against the walls of the passage. Jethro's breathing came a little faster, and he started jerking his hips a bit, alternating rubbing his cock into Tony's hand with pressing back against Tony's finger, taking it in deeper.

Tony let Jethro set the pace for a bit, then positioned a second finger so that it pushed in when Jethro thrust back. He repeated the circular motion with both fingers, and started to move his hand in time with Jethro's thrusts, his fingers moving deeper into his lover's body. Jethro moaned again, shifting restlessly on the bed. Tony leaned in and spoke quietly. "That's it, Jeth, that's good, you're doing great, so responsive… I think you're going to love this, it's gonna feel so good."

Jethro grunted in response, moving his hips to grind his cock into Tony's hand harder, then moving his hips back, encountering a third finger poised over his entrance. He gasped and shuddered when Tony inserted that finger as well. Jethro stretched his legs out, then moved his right leg off to the side, giving Tony a little more room. Tony's fingers slid about halfway in, and he alternated circular motion with scissoring, stretching and relaxing Jethro's muscles. He pulled the fingers almost all the way out, and moved them back in, almost as far as they could go, a little faster than he'd moved before, watching Jethro to gauge his reaction.

Jethro froze for a moment, holding his breath, then gasped and grunted, pressing back into Tony's hand. "More, Tony. That's good."

Tony obliged, moving his fingers inside, pressing in, rubbing against the walls of the passage, until Jethro's hips suddenly shot up off the bed, driving Tony's fingers in the rest of the way, while Jethro let out a small shout of pleasure.

"Guess I found it, huh? God, Jeth, you're incredible." Tony moved his own hips closer to Jethro's legs, swinging his right leg over Jethro's left, pressing his very hard cock against Jethro's thigh and moving against him for a moment, enjoying the friction. He squeezed Jethro's erection and moaned when Jethro reflexively squeezed his fingers in return. Tony moved his fingers once the pressure let up a bit, starting to finger fuck Jethro in earnest, listening to the man's moans of pleasure as he slowly jacked his cock as well. He kept it up, hitting Jethro's prostate as often as he could, making Jethro writhe in pleasure and desperation. Finally he got what he'd been waiting for, as Jethro raised his head and turned to look back at Tony, his pupils dilated and his expression needy. "Tony, please…"

Tony gently pulled his fingers out, causing Jethro to moan at the loss of contact. He also carefully moved his hand out from under Jethro's cock, grinning as Jethro moved his own hand down to his groin and started stroking himself. He reached out to rub Jethro's back. "Slow down, love. We're not done yet." He leaned over the kiss Jethro's mouth a little roughly, then sat back and hurriedly put on the condom, covering it with a generous amount of lube. He quickly wiped off his fingers, then his eyes met Jethro's. "Ready?"

Jethro nodded, moving his hand away from his cock, shifting so he could brace himself on his arms. Tony moved back into position, spreading Jethro's cheeks and positioning the head of his cock at the entrance. Jethro gasped at the feel and let his forehead hit the pillow. Tony set some of his weight on his side, moving his hand under Jethro to grasp his shoulder, keeping the other hand on Jethro's ass, kneading the muscle while he very slowly started to push the head of his cock past the muscular ring. Both men held their breath until the widest part of Tony's head was in; Jethro then let his breath out with an explosive "Fuck, Tony!" while Tony moaned loudly as his cock continued to slide in. He'd done a good job of stretching the muscles and he was moving more easily than he'd anticipated. He moved off his side, centering his weight and moving his right arm to hold onto Jethro's other shoulder. He cried out in surprise as Jethro suddenly moved back, taking Tony's cock all the way in. Jethro cried out too, and Tony dropped his forehead onto Jethro's shoulder blade. "Easy, Jeth, careful, please, don't want to hurt you."

Jethro shook his head. "Doesn't – feels good. Want more." His breath was coming in fast pants. He moved his hips forward to press his aching cock into the pillow, then back into Tony, fucking himself on Tony's cock. Tony groaned.

"Jeth, please… tough – to stay in control."

Jethro's answer was to thrust again; this time Tony moved too, pushing into Jethro, hitting his prostate again and making the older man cry out in pleasure. Tony gripped Jethro's shoulders harder, spread his legs a bit, and started to thrust into his lover with long, barely controlled strokes. He was grunting with each thrust in, and was managing to hit Jethro's sweet spot fairly consistently.

Jethro was almost undone by the pleasure and the knowledge that Tony was inside him, fucking him, making him feel so good. He felt almost helpless, out of control, and suddenly he panicked. All sorts of emotions were swirling around inside him… love, fear, arousal, happiness, despair… he wanted it to stop, he didn't want it to ever stop. Tears stung in his eyes, and he did the only thing he could think of to get back under control.

"Tony… Tony, please, wait… Tony, I – binary!"

Tony froze above him. "Oh, God, Jeth, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I – we shouldn't have –"

He started to carefully pull out, but Jethro reached back and grabbed his ass, stopping him. "No, Tony, don't… I… I just need a minute, but I don't want you to stop, okay? Please. Just – just hold on for a minute."

Tony stopped moving, uncertain of what to do. He stayed in place, his cock throbbing in Jethro's ass. He moved one hand from under Jethro's shoulder and started caressing Jethro's hair, watching what he could see of Jethro's face, trying to figure out what to do next. Jethro just lay there, breathing, his hips jerking involuntarily every so often.

Finally, Tony spoke, his voice quiet and a little scared. "Jeth… what do you want me to do? What's wrong?"

Jethro twisted his head around enough to look at Tony, and Tony could see tear tracks on his face. "I'm sorry, Tony… it just… I was overwhelmed. Not the physical… feels amazing. Emotionally… I was losing control, wasn't sure…"

Tony leaned in and kissed him softly. "Want to stop? I can. We can finish off another way."

Jethro shook his head. "Pull out and I'll give you the hardest head slap ever," he growled.

Tony laughed weakly. "Okay." He reached over and gently ran his fingers over Jethro's face. "We could change positions," he suggested quietly. "You could ride me, have more control."

Jethro shook his head, giving Tony a half smile. "Wouldn't make a difference. It's all these feelings. Just needed a minute to sort them out. I think I'm okay now."

Tony looked into Jethro's eyes and saw only truth there. Jethro looked back at him, then raised an eyebrow. "Is there a reverse safe word?"

Tony laughed and kissed him soundly. He moved his arm down and under Jethro, grasping his cock, which was still hard. He leaned back and shifted his weight a little more onto his left arm, then slowly started to move his hand along Jethro's shaft, rubbing his palm over the head, adding a slight twist. Jethro gasped and shuddered, letting his head fall back down and starting to thrust again. Tony held himself still and let Jethro control how deep the penetration went, then groaned when Jethro thrust back a little harder and clenched his muscles around Tony's cock. "Move, Tony!"

Tony started thrusting again, and within a few minutes they were back to where they'd been before Jethro had used his word. Jethro was groaning almost constantly, his head down in the pillow, while Tony's teeth were clenched as he tried not to come just yet. They were moving together, faster and faster, until finally Jethro's hips snapped forward and his head flew up off the bed as he screamed out his release. Tony lost control, shoving as deep into Jethro as he could, grinding his hips against Jethro's ass, crying out as he finally emptied himself into his lover.

The only sounds in the room were of rapid, gasping breaths as both men lay there, lacking the strength or the will to move. Their breathing eventually quieted, and Tony groaned as he slowly pulled out. He grabbed a tissue and removed the condom, wrapping it up to dispose of later, dropping it over the side of the bed. He reached out to Jethro, tugging on his shoulder until the older man rolled over and they lay there, tangled together.

"You okay?" Tony asked.

"Yeah. That was… it was incredible, Tony. I definitely want to do it again."

Tony nodded. "Okay." He gently stroked his hand over Jethro's arm. "Only if you're sure. You scared me there, Jeth."

Jethro sighed. "I'm sure. I don't think that will happen again."

"How come?"

Jethro was quiet for a long time before he answered. "Only felt like that one other time. My first time with Shannon. Never happened again until tonight."

Tony had no idea what to say to that. He tightened his grip on Jethro, burying his face in his neck. "Mine," he said quietly, after a moment. Jethro hugged him back. "Yours," he agreed. After a few more minutes of silence, Jethro spoke. "Mine," he said. "Yours," Tony replied.

They lay quietly like that for a long time, until they both fell asleep.