"Are you okay?" Finn asked Rachel in their only class of the day they had together. The teacher had given them worksheets and was playing Texas Hold 'Em on his computer while they walked around and talked.
Rachel nodded, numbly. She was a little distracted because Quinn didn't come over last night. She didn't even text or call.
Finn ignored Rachel's answer and asked, "Is it like a guy problem?"
Rachel shook her head, "Although I appreciate your concern, I don't think it's something that you can help with."
"Try me," Finn shrugged, "What's the worst the could happen?"
Rachel took a deep breath, "You promise not to be hurt or mad when I tell you what's going on?"
"Promise," Finn told her and leaned on her table.
"For the sake of anonymity I'm going to name this person Z," Rachel told him. "Well I have really strong feelings for Z and Z keeps giving me the come here, go away treatment. I just don't know how much more of it I can take. I'm almost positive that Z feels the same way, but sh- Z's scared. I've tried my best to reassure Z, but I don't know if it's taking…I just don't know what to do."
"Sounds like he doesn't treat you very well," Finn commented.
Rachel could see a little jealousy glowing in Finn's eyes. She huffed, "I knew I shouldn't have told you."
"No," Finn pleaded, "I'm sorry. You just always told me that you'd never settle."
"I'm not settling," Rachel drew a heart on her paper, "I want Z. More than anything."
Finn looked a little heartbroken but replied, "You know what you used to say…when we were together? 'What would Barbra do?' I don't know much about her but I think she'd so something about it.
She paused, staring hard at her desk. Barbra wouldn't take this lying down. Liza would do something. Audrey Hepburn would demand action in a dignified way of course. "You're right. I have to do something. Something huge."
Rachel's phone vibrated in her backpack and she reached behind herself and pulled it out. She looked at her text. It was from a number she didn't recognize, but it unnerved her a little. You need to not pressure 'Z' into anything. Z's thinking about her rep and her mom.
Rachel looked around the classroom and saw Santana sitting in the back. When Santana saw her looking she raised her eyebrows, in a threatening fashion. Her phone vibrated with another text. BTW Man-Hands you talk hella loud.
Rachel turned forward in her seat again and texted Santana back. I know that. I just want her to decide what she wants.
"Who are you texting?" Finn asked.
Rachel shook her head, "No one."
"Is it Z?" he asked.
"Definitely not," Rachel looked down at her phone that hadn't vibrated again. She turned around and looked at Santana who was apparently doing the their class work. She sighed and turned back around. "I have to do something."
Rachel was almost the rest of the way through her day and she found herself zoning out again. She was trying to think of a way to get Quinn to trust her or to at least help her decide what she wanted. She even zoned out so bad that she didn't hear the bell ring at the end of Spanish.
"Is something wrong, Rachel?" Mr. Schue walked over to her and sat in the desk in front of her.
"It's nothing," Rachel sighed.
Mr. Schue added, "You've been really out of it lately."
Rachel looked down at the desk and started gathering her things. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked.
Rachel sighed, "No one really prepares you for these…feelings…" She added after Mr. Schue's eyes grew wide with panic, "Not sexual feelings…just feelings. They're overwhelming."
He nodded understandingly, "Why don't you come to the auditorium during study hall and sing it out?"
"My study hall is right now and right before glee."
He smiled, "Perfect. Then you'll be all warmed up."
She nodded. It couldn't hurt. She followed him to the auditorium and he turned on the microphone and alerted Brad. It wasn't hard to pick a song. Rachel placed the microphone on the stand and stood behind it.
Just too unreal, all this
Watching the words fall from my lips
Baiting some girl with hypotheses
Haven't you heard the word of your body?
As Quinn was walked down the hallway with her hall pass swinging in her hand, she heard singing. Not just any singing. The voice was a siren, calling her to the auditorium. She opened the door and snuck into the back. She could see Rachel in the center stage behind a microphone stand.
Don't feel a thing, you wish
Grasping at pearls with my fingertips
Holding her hand like some little tease
Haven't you heard the word of my wanting?
Quinn couldn't rip her eyes away from Rachel as she sang. The song and how Rachel sang it made Quinn weak in the knees. She leaned back on the back wall and felt goose bumps encase her arms and legs.
O, I'm gonna be wounded
O, I'm gonna be your wound
O, I'm gonna bruise you
O, you're gonna be my bruise
Just too unreal, all this…
Watching his world slip through my fist
Playing with her in your fantasies
Haven't you heard the word – how I want you?
The blonde closed her eyes to absorb the song as best she could. She wanted to make all the negative feelings in Rachel's voice go away. She wanted Rachel to sing those stupid Celine Dion songs again about love and being in love again. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the light make Rachel's hair shine and her eyes shimmer. Quinn bit her lip and tapped the hall pass on her leg.
O, I'm gonna be wounded
O, I'm gonna be your wound
O, I'm gonna bruise you
O, you're gonna be my bruise
Rachel looked out onto the audience as she belted out the last note. The song wasn't written like that, she just need the release.
When the note ended she took a moment to catch her breath. Light in the back of the auditorium caught her eye. She watched as the back door closed. Whoever was there, got quite a subdued show. If she had known someone was going to watch, she would have put on more of a show.
She took one last look over her imaginary audience, Rachel walked off of the stage.
Rachel meddled around in the choir room until glee started, straightening chairs, sorting sheet music, and stacking CDs. When she bell rang she was relieved that she wouldn't be alone with her thoughts anymore. She walked over to a chair in the front and sat down in it, crossing her legs and patiently waiting for the rest of her teammates.
Brittany and Santana were the first to arrive, pinkie in pinkie. Santana shot Rachel a warning look before taking her place with Brittany in the back. Rachel set her jaw. She was slightly offended that Santana thought that Rachel didn't care out Quinn or her reputation.
Everyone else walked in, chattering about one thing or another. Everyone except the one person that Rachel had been waiting all day to see. Her eyes were trained on the clock as the minutes ticked by and Quinn hadn't walked through the door.
Finally Mr. Schue walked in and smiled at the group, "Alright guys, let's get started."
The practice went by uneventfully, mostly because Mr. Schue gave the solo to Rachel who decided that the more she sang the better off she'd be. The more she moved, the less time she'd have to think.
When their contemporary mash-up was over, Rachel was smiling again. She loved glee. It was the perfect outlet for the teenage frustrations. She even shared a fleeting smile with Santana. So Rachel walked out of glee with a smile on her face and a song in her head.
She pulled out her phone to ask her dad if they needed anything at home, when she found a text. She quickly opened the text from Quinn. Can you come over tonight at like eight?
Rachel replied as fast as her fingers could type. The problem now was finding something to do for three hours.
Rachel went home and went straight to her room. She changed and got onto the elliptical machine, thinking that she may be able to burn of some of the excitement. However after half an hour on the machine, she practically bounced to the shower. Then she took her time blow drying and straightening her hair, which ate up a fair amount of time.
Her daddy called her for dinner with an hour left before she would speed over to Quinn's. It had been forty-eight hours since she'd been alone with the blonde and she was itching to get in some quality time.
Rachel tried to take her time in eating dinner. She'd cut up her food into little pieces and chatter with her dads about her day and glee.
Finally, the time came for her to go to Quinn's house. It was getting dark outside when she hugged her dads and told them where she was going. They told her to say hi to Quinn for them.
When Rachel pulled up to Quinn's house, she looked up at the window to Quinn's room. It was dark. Then she looked at the rest of the house. It looked like most of the lights were off on the inside as well. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering if Quinn forgot about her coming over. But Quinn's car was in the driveway so Rachel walked up to the front door anyway and knocked.
The door opened almost immediately. Quinn was standing there in one of her signature white baby doll dresses. Before she met Quinn, Rachel was convinced that no one could ever pull off pure white. Quinn proved her very wrong. Quinn's hair was freely brushing around her shoulders and her eyes looked lighter than Rachel ever remembered.
Quinn let out a dazzling smile and ran a hand through her hair. "Hi."
"Hi," Rachel couldn't help, but smile back. Quinn hadn't looked that happy in a long time.
Quinn grabbed Rachel and pulled her inside, closing the door behind them. Rachel could hear soft music floating around and saw that all the lights in the house were dimmed. There were candles lit everywhere, illuminating the room in a golden glow.
Rachel turned to Quinn who just smiled at her and led the way to the couch. They both sat down and Quinn turned toward Rachel her hands in her lap.
"What's going on Quinn?" Rachel asked, still a little stunned at the way the house was. She immediately felt as ease sitting down on the couch in the euphoric glow with the music loosening her muscles. She kicked off her shoes and tucked her legs under herself.
The blonde took a long, deep breath, "I- um- Santana told me what you and Finn were talking about today."
"Oh," Rachel sighed, her good mood starting to slip away.
Quinn slid her hand under Rachel's and tried to catch Rachel's eyes, "Is that how you really feel?"
Rachel nodded guiltily. She looked at Quinn's hand, gently holding hers.
Quinn licked her lips and asked, "Do you really want me? The whole crazy mess?"
"Of course," the brunette chuckled.
The Cheerio smiled before it faded out and she was serious again. "Do you…love me?"
Rachel held Quinn's eyes and bobbed her head confidently. She wanted Quinn to know she was sure. She wanted her to know that she had no reservations about putting her heart out there.
Quinn let out a sad smile. "I know I've been super bi-polar or maybe even tri-polar to you, but I was just…I was confused. I still kinda am. I've never wanted to be around anyone as much as I wanted to be with you. I don't really understand everything I'm feeling, but…" Quinn paused. She smiled and ducked her head, "I totally had this whole speech memorized, but now I can't remember the rest of it."
Rachel giggled and ran her fingers through the blonde hair shielding Quinn's face, "That's okay. I can wait for you to go get your note cards."
Quinn laughed and looked up at Rachel. They sat there just looking at each other for a few seconds before the blonde continued, "I love you."
Rachel's eyes looked like they were ready to bulge out of their sockets. Although she had heard Quinn she asked, "What?"
"I love you," Quinn told her giving Rachel's hand a gentle squeeze. "I think I have for a while, it just took me a little while to figure out exactly what it was."
A hundred watt smile made it's way onto Rachel's face. She glanced over her shoulder for any sign of Quinn's mom because she really wanted to kiss Quinn.
"My mom's gone for the next two days," Quinn grinned, "Someone bribed the new co-captain of the Cheerios to send my mom to a spa in the Adirondacks."
"New co-captain?" Rachel asked with a thoughtful frown.
"Santana flashed some plastic and my mom was gone," Quinn smirked.
"You let her become co-captain so your mom would leave us alone?" Rachel asked, still in disbelief.
Quinn shrugged, "It's already worth it."
Rachel practically launched herself onto Quinn, kissing her hard against the couch cushions under them. Quinn giggled out of the kiss and took Rachel's face in her hands gently stroking her cheeks. Then she lowered Rachel's face to hers and tenderly kissed her.
Before hands started wanting to explore, Quinn pulled away. "There's something else I wanted to show you."
"Show me?" Rachel asked with a cheeky grin.
"It's not me," Quinn kissed Rachel's cheek and pulled her off of the couch.
They walked up the stairs and Rachel noticed that they were walking on assorted flower pedals. She looked at Quinn who was looking on with a nervous smile. Rachel looked down at the pedal trail that ended at Quinn's closed bedroom door.
"Close your eyes," Quinn instructed and moved behind Rachel. She placed her hands on Rachel's hips and waited until Rachel closed her eyes.
Rachel felt Quinn reach around her, presumably to open the door, and then Quinn gently pushed her into the bedroom. They took a few more steps in before Quinn whispered to Rachel, "Open your eyes."
When the shorter girl took her hands away from her face, she saw that Quinn's bed had been made and then neatly turned down. She took in all the flower pedals that were all over the floor of the room and the candles that were lit on every surface. She turned around and looked at Quinn whose eyes were twinkling in the candlelight.
"This is going to sound really stupid," Quinn suddenly lost all self-confidence and dropped her gaze, focusing on a light pink pedal near the foot of the bed, "But I was thinking that, if I made this romantic that it would make up for your first time. Like this could be your new first time."
Rachel let Quinn's words sink in before throwing her arms around her. "This is the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me."
Quinn finally let out a smile, "You don't think it's corny?"
"It's incredibly sweet," Rachel tilted her head up and her lips found Quinn's.
Rachel backed up to the bed and pulled Quinn with her. When the back of her legs hit the bed, Rachel sat down pulling Quinn down. The Cheerio managed to get her knees on either side of Rachel before she fell on the smaller girl.
The wind picked up outside, creating a whirling noise against the windows. It almost downed out the music that was wafting around, but neither girl noticed. They were in their own world.
Rachel placed her hands on Quinn's waist, worried that she'd fall backwards. The blonde smiled at the gesture and pulled away to look into Rachel's eyes. She gently stroked Rachel's hair before kissing her again, this time pushing her onto her back.
They somehow shimmied up to the pillows at the head of the bed. After a few minutes of gentle, passionate kissing, Rachel flipped them over so that Quinn was under her. The cheerleader tensed when that happened. Quinn pulled away again and searched Rachel's face. All she found was love and adoration and that was more than enough for her. She relaxed back onto the bed and let Rachel take control.
A few hours later when they were both naked and cuddled together, Quinn was glad she let Rachel do what she wanted to do. They'd both reached new heights that night.
Rachel snuggled as deeply into Quinn as she could and let out a content sigh, "That was the best first time ever."
Quinn giggled and kissed Rachel. She loved that every time she kissed Rachel it felt like the first time. "I'm glad you approve."
Rachel propped her head up with her elbow and looked down at Quinn, "Was that better than your first time?"
"A million times better," Quinn rubbed Rachel's side through the blankets that covered them both.
A shrill ring interrupted the moment. Rachel recognized it as her ring tone. She leaned over the side of the bed and dug her phone out of the mess of clothes on the ground. When she saw it was her dad she was disappointed. He was probably going to tell her it was time to go home and she wanted to stay here with Quinn forever.
She pressed the answer button and laid back down next to Quinn, "Hi dad."
"Hi sweetheart," he answered, "I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a huge snow storm that just blew through."
"No way," Rachel picked up and blanket with her as she walked over to the window. She moved the curtain to the side and saw that there was a blanket of white snow on the ground and it was rapidly falling from the sky. She felt Quinn walked up behind her and looked out the window over her shoulder.
"Yeah," her dad spoke in her ear, "Is there anyway you can stay with Quinn tonight? We really don't want you driving in this weather."
"Hold on let me ask," Rachel grinned and looked back at Quinn, "My dad wants to know if it's okay if I spend the night."
Quinn pretended to think about it for a moment before Rachel nudged the blonde with her shoulder. "Of course," Quinn dropped a kiss on Rachel's shoulder.
"Yeah it's okay if I stay here," Rachel told her dad.
"Good," he told her, "Make sure to get up in time for school tomorrow. You'll probably have a snow day but make sure before you sleep in."
"Okay dad," Rachel grinned.
"We love you honey and if you need anything let us know," he told her.
"I love you too," Rachel said and turned toward Quinn, "Bye."
"Bye," he said and hung up.
Rachel tossed her phone back into the mess of clothes on the ground, "Looks like it's just you and me stuck in this snow storm."
Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel and pulled her close, "Gee I hope we can think of something to do."
Rachel pulled away enough to kiss Quinn before they both started giggling. They both ran for the bed and jumped onto it tumbling into each other.