Here it is. The final chapter!

Baby Makes Three

Chapter Twenty-Five

Four weeks changed a lot for Meredith, Derek, and Weston. It had taken some time, but Meredith was finally getting back to normal, physically, and was starting to be able to process the events of Landon's birth in a healthy way. It would still be a long road of emotional healing, but for the most part she wasn't unstable as she had been the days following the event in her home. Weston had needed the full month in the neonatal intensive care unit to get strong enough and healthy enough to come home, but considering all things, he was doing exceptionally well.

"He's so tiny," Meredith whispered as she sat on the couch with their son swaddled in her arms. "Did you think he would be this tiny?" She glanced over to Derek, smiling when she saw how happy he looked. It had been such a long time since she'd seen that twinkle in his eyes.

"He's so much bigger than when he was born." He pointed out. "And yet, tiny." He agreed.

"I guess he's still just the size of most newborns." She mused, looking back down at the sleeping baby. "Under six pounds, so maybe a little smaller than most."

"Some people have nine pound babies." Derek pointed out, sliding one arm around her.

"That's when I'm thankful for my c-section."

He laughed, planting a kiss on her temple. "I'm thankful for your c-section too. Otherwise I wouldn't have you here with me."

"Way to kill the mood." She made a face.

"Sorry," The last thing he wanted was to upset her. "Meredith, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"It's fine." Just like that, her smile was gone. Her voice was quiet. Her eyes were empty. She stared at Weston, void of emotion.

"Mer.." A sigh escaped his lips. "I am so sorry. I didn't..."

"I said, it's fine." She clipped.

"It's not fine." He wasn't going to accept that. He couldn't accept that. It wouldn't help her. "You're not fine. I should have been more careful. But Mer, you're not okay."

"Stop."

"I'm not going to stop. This is about you. It's about making sure you get through this. It's.."

"Stop it, Derek." Her tone had turned cold. "You need to stop. I'm the one that almost bled to death on this couch. Me. So you don't get to sit there and..."

"Stop." He frowned, his voice firm. "You need to talk to someone. You can't keep spinning in this circle of..."

"Like you've never acted upset over something." She handed the baby to him, getting up before he had a chance to stop her.

Derek hated that he'd allowed mention of Weston's birth to even leave his mouth. He'd taken a perfectly happy conversation and turned it to crap, and now Meredith had shut down. He knew she was struggling emotionally, and he hated that there wasn't much he could do to help her. "Please let me help you through this, Meredith. Don't shut me out. You don't have to go through this alone."

"There's nothing to go through, Derek. I had a placenta that turned to crap, and I almost died. Our baby is lucky to be alive. But it's over. It's been over. I'm not going through anything."

"You're a very bad liar." He hesitantly tried to lighten the mood a bit.

Meredith paused, halting her journey to the kitchen. She looked back at him with tears in her eyes. "I just need some time, Derek. I'll be fine. Really. I'm not...fine, now. But, I will be. Weston's here, and he's okay, and really that's what matters to me."

Derek watched her for a moment, tilting his head to the side just a tad. He wanted to say the right thing, but it was next to impossible to know what that right thing was. "I love you, Meredith Grey. And we'll get through this, together." He hadn't noticed, before seeing her standing there, just how exhausted she looked. Weston had been hope a couple of nights, and Meredith hand't really slept at all. Neither one of them were particularly good at sleeping with their son home. He suspected it was because they both worried something would happen to him if they weren't watching. "You should take a nap." He doubted she would, but he was determined to at least try.

"Maybe so." She yawned. She was tired. Well, tired didn't really begin to describe how she felt. If given the chance, she could probably fall asleep standing up. "You'll stay with him, right? And stay awake? I don't want him alone."

"I'll be here," Derek smiled. Sleep would help, and he was glad she wasn't arguing with him. "Awake." He assured her.

She hesitated a moment, but deep down she knew she desperately needed the chance to rest, even if it was just for an hour. Her abdomen screamed at her to sit back down. Four weeks out from a major surgery wasn't really all that much time. The up and down off the couch still bugged her sometimes, and the stairs only added to it. Still, she was too focused on being a new mother to admit when she needed the chance to get off her feet. "Okay," She finally conceded knowing Derek would be true to his word.

"Okay," Derek smiled, watching as she headed upstairs. He was thrilled she was getting a chance to sleep. She needed it. Her mind needed it, and her body needed it. She was still recovering from a crash c-section, and he could see the flash of pain in her eyes sometimes when she did too much, even if she wouldn't admit to him how she was feeling.

Meredith took the stairs slowly. When she stopped at the top, part of her screamed to go back to her baby, but she knew he was in good hands. Derek was an amazing father, and she was completely comfortable in knowing Weston was well loved and taken care of while with his daddy. She sighed as she paused there for a moment, glancing back toward the living room one last time before heading to the bedroom. When her head hit the pillow, she realized just how much she needed the few minutes away. She didn't really plan to sleep, but she'd soon drifted off.

Derek looked down at the bundle in his arms. "Looks like it's just you and I for a bit, buddy." He kissed the top of Weston's head, smiling when the baby stirred Even the soft cry that soon followed didn't bother Derek. In fact, it almost warmed his heart to hear that sound. It was something they had waited so long for. Really there wasn't much about fatherhood that rattled Derek Shepherd, at least not yet. "Let's get you something to eat." He patted Weston's back, whispering a soft shush into his ear. "Don't wake mommy," He whispered. "She really needs this sleep." Already a pro, he had a bottle fixed in minutes, and the two settled back on the couch, baby sucking happily.

Derek really couldn't imagine life before being a father. Having Weston completed everything that he'd always wanted. His family, in his mind, was perfect. He had a beautiful wife that he couldn't possibly love any more, and a son who was beyond perfect. Baring any unexpected tragic events, Derek knew the days ahead would only bring happiness.

** GA ** GA ** GA **

Another few weeks brought both change and stability to the lives of Meredith and Derek, and before they knew it they were facing both being back at work. Meredith was a nervous wreck. She'd had no idea just how difficult it was going to be to leave her newborn in the hands of someone else all day, and the level of panic that swelled up inside of her at just the thought of it was honestly more than she was really able to handle. There were still so many moments when she looked down at Weston and wondered what life would be like if he was their second living baby, if Grayson was still there. There were so many moments when she looked at him and thought of the baby they'd lost, the one she'd never really been able to meet. It was both joyful and painful to hold that tiny precious baby in her arms, and she found herself struggling more than she thought she would. She needed to talk to someone, and she knew it. But there was so much of her that wasn't really ready to admit it. Admitting that she needed therapy in order to be a mom was like admitting she was already failing, and she didn't want to fail. She wanted to be a good mom, great even, but it seemed too overwhelming. Holding him in her arms was sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world. It sometimes brought her more joy than anything she ever thought could. But sometimes it was a painful reminder of their loss, and the near loss of her own life. So she struggled, even though she desperately tried not to.

"She'll take good care of him, right? I mean, do you think the instructions we left were enough? Do you think I wrote the schedule out the right way? What if she has trouble understanding what I meant? What if..."

"Meredith," Derek smiled and took her hand as they walked through the doors of Seattle Grace. "Susie came highly recommended. We interviewed her three times. She's spent five days with us. She knows our schedule, and our routine, and exactly how we want Weston cared for. He'll be safe. We've run every background check possible, and we've talked to five references. I don't think we could have found a better person to take care of him when we can't be there. But if you're worried, you can always call. And I'll go home for lunch to make sure."

She drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You're probably right." She fought back tears. "But, still..." She hesitated. "If something ever happened to him, Derek..."

"I know," He squeezed her hand gently. "Me too." Those words didn't need to be spoken. Neither of them would ever be able to deal with the loss of a child again. Weston was their entire world, which was why he'd made sure they had him in safe hands when they were working. "Why don't I call, before my shift starts, and check on him." He glanced at the clock.

"I know you have a surgery to get to. I'll call. You go." She put a smile on her face, giving him a brief kiss before heading to the break room to call Susie. Derek's words had been somewhat comforting, but really, it didn't matter who Weston was with. If she wasn't there and Derek wasn't there, she was going to be nervous. She already missed him something terrible, and despite how ridiculous it seemed, found herself counting down the moments until her shift was over.

"You're back?" Cristina looked surprised to see her later that morning, shoving a cup of coffee in her hand. "You need this more than I do." She watched her, frowning. "McBaby is fine."

"What if he isn't?" She took a few sips of the coffee. "Please tell me this has caffeine." Cristina was right. She needed it.

"He is." She insisted. "You guys did like five million interviews with this lady. You called like, what, sixteen families that she has worked for."

"Five." She sighed, tossing the empty coffee cup into the trash as she walked to the elevators. "What if..."

"Seriously. Weston's fine. You and Derek, you're like, the most overprotective parents I've ever seen. Worse than the crazy ones that come through here with sick kids, even. He's fine."

"Cristina."

"Look, you've done the whole mommy thing. You had the kid, you stayed home and did the whole diaper changing routine. You made the bottles…whatever it is people do with babies. Now you have to cut again."

She couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of her friend's words. "I'm so glad you're his godmother. I can tell you love him so much."

"Hey," There was a sudden seriousness to Cristina Yang's voice. "I'd do anything for that kid. He's cute. Even with the hair." She handed a chart over to her. "For you. Since your moping."

"A gift?" Meredith grinned, opening the chart. "You're giving me this?"

"It's a one time thing. Next time you come in all looking like your house burned down or something, I'll let you cry."

"Thanks," She laughed, looking through the chart. She'd never known Cristina to hand over such an amazing surgery to anyone, and to be honest, there was a part of her that knew she was right. She had missed working. She loved her son, and she loved being there with him, but she was a person torn between two worlds. She was born a surgeon. It was in her blood.

"Try not to kill the guy," She turned the corner to check on her own patients, leaving Meredith to go meet hers.

Meredith spent a few minutes looking through the chart before going to meet her patient. Nervousness set in as she stepped into his room. His surgery wasn't scheduled until noon. It would, at minimum, take a good eight hours. She'd have to stay for some time after to monitor him which meant she'd get home long after Weston was asleep. She could feel her chest getting tight and her heart rate increasing, but as the patient introduced himself, she forced herself to take some deep breaths.

She couldn't walk away from her job. She couldn't let the fear of what happened in the past keep her from living the life she and Derek both wanted for their family. She would never be her mother, that was for sure. Ellis had been all work. Meredith was sure that somewhere deep down inside she loved her, but really, she'd been a great candidate for a single life with no kids. Meredith didn't want that. She wanted to be extraordinary, both in her job, and as a wife and mother. She wanted to be able to push past the tragedy and pain that she and Derek had endured, and move to a place where they could find peace, and balance.

So she stayed. Despite her anxiety and the increasing feeling of bursting into tears, Meredith Grey stayed. She went over the surgical plan with her patient, and scrubbed in a few hours later. She forced herself to trust that her son was safe, and to trust that Derek wouldn't let anything happen to either one of them. She forced herself to focus on saving the man's life. She tried to enjoy it.

** GA ** GA ** GA **

"Hey," Derek smiled when she got home that night around nine. He was sitting on the couch, Weston asleep on his chest. There was a baseball game on in the background, but honestly, he'd been more focused on watching his son sleep than watching the television. "Heard you kicked a tumor's ass today."

Meredith plopped down next to him, tears sliding down her cheeks as he handed Weston over. "Yeah," She held the baby close, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

"Mer," A frown settled on Derek's face. He reached over, wiping tears from her eyes.

"I'm fine." She insisted, her voice a breathy whisper.

"You don't look fine." His arm slid around her shoulders.

"I missed him." She wiped a few more tears away. "I missed him so much, Derek. I couldn't stop thinking about him, not even for a second. I tried. I really did. But I…"

He stopped her when her crying increased. "Meredith." A sympathetic sigh escaped his lips, and he pulled her close, kissing the side of her head. "Look at me, Meredith."

She did, barely.

"You are a wonderful mother. It's okay that you worry about him. I know this is hard. It's supposed to be. Leaving your baby isn't easy, even if you haven't gone through what we have. But that's what makes you amazing. This will get better."

"What if it doesn't? I don't know if I can do this, Derek. I don't know if I can sit and worry about him every day. I just, I keep waiting for a phone call saying he's…"

"You need to talk to someone." His frown deepened. "I don't want this consuming you. I don't want you so scared that you can't enjoy your life. Weston is safe here. He's loved, and he's cared for, and he's safe. But you have to be able to trust that."

"I don't know how."

"We're not going back, Mer. We're not going back to loss and tragedy, and death. We've been given a second chance. This life…it's the three of us now. No one and nothing is going to take that away."

"Derek."

"I promise." He insisted.

"How?"

"I want you to trust me, Mer. I want you to trust me that this is your chance to be happy. This is our chance to have a family. Please, talk to someone."

"Okay," She was hesitant, but she agreed after a minute.

"I love you," He smiled a bit, watching her with the baby.

"You saved my life, Derek." Meredith whispered after a minute. "And I don't just mean physically. You…I wouldn't be here without you. I couldn't live this life without you, Derek."

"You're extraordinary, Meredith." He brushed his hand over her hair, kissing her softly. "We saved each other."

They fell asleep there in each other's arms. At some point in the night Derek stirred enough to carry both she and Weston upstairs. He stood over his son's crib, wiping a tear from his eye as he watched him sleep. This was the life he'd waited so long to have. If nothing ever changed, if they never had another baby, this was enough for him. Derek Shepherd had everything he needed. Their life together would be beautiful. It had to be. The darkness was behind them. He wouldn't let it be any other way. If he had to spend every day of the rest of his life bringing his wife back to a place of peace and laughter, he would to it with joy. Meredith Grey was his entire world, and they were finally where they wanted to be. Between the two of them, and the precious baby sleeping in front of him, he knew nothing that came their way would ever destroy what they had.

The End

Meredith & Derek's story continues in "The Fight For Four"

*Revised 6/2017