Every time there is a cutoff is where Simon's story would've gone. I thought about writing it. I even started it, but I wanted to focus on Santana cause otherwise the video would've taken too long.

Lol, you guys. I just realized that on Chapter 1, Rachel's listening to a song from the SA soundtrack. Sooo ignore the logistics for now and just pretend the Spring Awakening she mentions then is like... A band or something and NOT the musical she will be starring in a few months time.

-TWiM

Chapter 25 - Fix A Heart (Demi Lovato)

Santana's voice is on voice-over when Quinn shows up on screen. I'm so excited to watch her debut in the arts that I squeeze her hand without even realizing it.

"Well, like I said, I'm a cheerleader." Quinn looks breathtaking. She's in front of a dresser in her room, sitting, properly poised. I've seen her get ready often now to know that that's exactly how she sits when she's doing this. The camera focuses on her repeatedly fixing the mascara on her lower eyelid until she's satisfied, and her mouth automatically pops up. It forms an 'O,' and her lips look really cute like that. The color comes back up slowly. "And I was always worried about reputation and my looks." Her thumb runs over her lips and she puts on lipstick.

"The boys chased after me because my cheerleading skirt was always a little higher than the others." The shot focuses on her gracious hand picking up the blush. Bright hazel eyes on the mirror. She blinks. "You know, I guess I did what people expected of me. I cheered at the football games, I hooked up with the boys at parties, and I dominated the hallways of the school, bullying on those beneath me."

The phone vibrates and she smiles. I smile because look at her up there. The text reads: 'Be right there, sweetie.' And the sender is "Baby." She looks enamored by the text and sighs smitten. I remind myself that this is just a video and smile when she picks up the brush to fix her hair.

"Speaking of bullying, my best friend, Rachel, suffered a lot in my hands. And for that, I'll always be sorry. I think it's mostly because she would always still offer a helping hand and I knew she could read through me, even before I admitted I liked girls." At this, I grab Santana's hand on the other side of me and squeeze it tight, and I see her hide her face on Britt's shoulder. It's endearing. I squeeze tighter and let go.

A voice that's not Santana's yells, "Sweetie, your date's here!" I guess that's someone playing Quinn's mom.

"Send them up, mom!" She yells and keeps fixing her hair.

"But anyways, I was a cheerleader, the captain and I had everything I wanted. Power, looks, popularity. But, I wasn't happy." Quinn's gaze shifts around the room and there are pictures of Quinn mid-jumps, up at the top of the pyramid, and on the wall, a banner with our school's logo. Pom-poms hang to the side.

There are audible footsteps as someone comes up the stairs and she rushes back to the mirror to finish the last touches. She's so worried about looking perfect for this person. I kind of expect my own face to show up on screen and I giggle before dropping my head on her shoulder. Hers drop on top of mine.

A knock.

"And then everyone found out I was into girls and my life turned upside down."

When she turns, Gaea. She smiles and says, "Hi," and uncrosses her arms, expecting Quinn to come to her and hug her. A cold sensation shots up my spine and my jaw tightens.

"Hey, baby. I missed you." Quinn says. I grip her hand harder and she looks at me, but I don't look back. In my head I count to ten slowly, and exhale slowly. Acting, acting. This is what I do. Act, so I have to understand.

"I don't know why people are so surprised to find out that I am a cheerleader and that yes, I am gay. At the same time!" Santana laughs on the voice-over and I relax, smile too.

They walk up to each other and Gaea says, "And I missed you -"' She makes a sickeningly adorable face and Quinn giggles and I burn. I know it's coming. I can tell by the way Gaea leans in, but only just so, so Quinn can meet her. Their lips touch and I close my eyes. When I open them again, their lips are just moving away. Just acting. Quinn had to see me kiss Jesse multiple times this past weekend and she wasn't bothered. The fact that I'm a lesbian and he's gay has nothing to do with that, right? And that as of right now, Gaea is... undetermined? "Ready?" Gaea says, offering her hand to Quinn.

"Let's go." Quinn's smile steals the moment, my eyes fixate on it.

"No," Santana keeps talking, "that doesn't mean I look up every cheerleader's skirt. I don't like every girl I see. I don't want to sleep with every one of my friends who are girls. But yes, I do find my girlfriend attractive, and when I go on dates, I get all girly and get ready for her. And it's nice to hear her tell me I look beautiful." I concentrate on listening to Santana.

"You look beautiful, by the way." On-screen Gaea says to on-screen Quinn. She looks coy, adorable, and ready for another girl.

Quinn says, "Thanks," through a lip bite.

"And when she tells me she loves me, I finally get what the world is talking about when they talk about love." Santana explains.

"I love you, beautiful." Gaea says, and winks.

Without hesitation Quinn tells her, "I love you." My stomach twists, and I will my eyes not to shed tears. Not here, not right now, not because of this. It's such a stupid reason to be feeling like this. Or is it? It's too much for me to be thinking about, and I'm here for Santana, too. I gotta admit that Quinn's acting was really good. I really believed she was in love with that girl. Mostly because I recognized the look she is giving her. That's my look right there.

Gaea takes her out by the hand and the screen goes dark. It cuts back to black and white Santana.

"Junior year of high school, my now-best friend's ex boyfriend -" she laughs and itches her neck, "so that's the ex boyfriend of my now best friend; if that helps - he was really upset over something I said. Of course I had been pushing him to the edge, you know, bullying him and playing around. That *bleep* idiot was just like a constant weight on your bladder you know? Annoying as *bleep*. Anyway, at the time I was so into the closet, I didn't even know there was a door to come out..." she laughs. "It was that bad. But it was worse to fall in love with a girl on my squad and have to pretend I was into the boys chasing me. I wasn't. And somehow, that douchebag picked up on the fact that I was hopelessly in love, completely head over for her. And one day..." she hesitates for the first time since she started talking. "One day he told the world, and life as I knew it fell apart."

I look at Santana and her eyes are trained on herself on the screen. She's beautiful, right here in front of me, and on the screen. I peck her cheek, out of impulse and when she turns to me, she mouths, 'Goof.' We giggle and she turns to say something to Britt.

There is clear editing because there is a shift on the camera and the audio and Santana asks, as if answering another question, "When it happened?" She hums, pondering, remembering. Her brows furrow and then she says, "It was on a Tuesday, I think. I passed by him on the way to another class and he had been really bitter because of some Glee club bull*bleep*. I pushed him to the edge- I see that now - and as a response he said something like -" She breathes in on-screen and next to me.

She straightens herself, looks straight into the camera and repeats Finn's words, word for word, "You're just a *bleep* all the time because you're in love with her and she doesn't love you back! You're a disgusting lesbian and you only sleep with guys because you want to prove to everyone else you're straight!"

The screen goes dark. My voice comes back up.

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

Shots of a girl's legs running down the hallway of a school. They're sneakers. White. Like the kind Santana used to wear for cheerleading. They take her down the hallway, into a room with a piano. Then more sounds of running. A lot of laughter. And then the door bursts open and another girl comes in, picks the first one up in her arms and starts to soothe her.

Cut. Santana's eyes. She closes them and shakes her head as the camera zooms out. "Rachel came running after me. I couldn't face the school. I couldn't face myself. I thought I was disgusting, just like he had called. I was only sleeping with the boys to prove myself that I was straight... He took my biggest and most revolting secret and laid it out for everyone to see. But - I'm telling you. This girl," on screen she looks for me again, "she knew I was breaking down, and she *bleep* knew that I wasn't going to ask for anyone's sympathy or help. After all, I was a *bleep*. She didn't care. She saw me. She. God, she literally saved me. I can't describe to you how good it feels to be picked up mid-air after you feel like someone pushed you off a cliff." Santana doesn't cry. Her eyes are not even teary, but she runs a hand over them anyway - they're probably threatening her. And, even though I was there when she recorded this, I'm starting to feel the need to shed tears again. This time her hand finds mine.

The video is silent as Santana gathers her thoughts. "For an entire week," she smiles sadly, "I cried at home. I didn't want to face my peers, my parents, or my teachers. I vaguely remember Rachel taking me home, stripping me off my uniform, and taking me to the shower. No -" she rolls her eyes, "no sexy time happened, pervs." Then she gets serious again, "That's the day I earned respect for her. And the day I realized that something about me was worth saving. Worth caring for, otherwise this girl that I had hated, absolutely despised, wouldn't have bothered. And maybe it's just because Rachel has the biggest heart I've ever known, or it wouldn't have mattered if it was me or a stranger that Finn had outed. But it was me. And she made me believe. She didn't care that I was a cheerleader breaking the status quo. She didn't ask about my sexuality. She didn't bring up all the years I put her through hell. She was just there. And that made me believe. So that is why I agreed to do this." The camera pans out again and it's only her voice, over images of Santana sitting on a bench outside of a building. The skies are bright and people pass by and wave at her.

She smiles and waves back, pulls her jacket closer to her body, and looks around, looking for someone. "I agreed because I have to tell others what Rachel reminds me of, almost everyday - keep calm and carry on. She taught me to breathe again, and that people love me despite who I love. She has told me multiple times that the people who matter won't care. And it's true."

Britt! Britt shows up on screen and Santana's smile widens. My voice comes back.

Show me how
No one's ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are
We are shining stars
We are invincible
We are who we are
On our darkest day
When we're miles away
Sun will come
We will find our way home

"Yeah, yeah. I was lucky and I had a friend to pull me out of the roughest of times in my life. But I guarantee you that you have someone. I promise. And you are invincible. Don't be let down by others' thoughts of you. Just know that you are special. You are a star and you are important. It gets better. Trust me. Rachel met this *bleep* of a cheerleader here- Quinn Fabray, I don't know if you know her -" the people laugh, "-and she introduced me to the most beautiful girl I've ever met. She's adorable. She's all that is good in this world."

Brittany and Santana are sitting on the bench together. Cut. Santana's laughing eyes again. Just like in the beginning.

If you're lost and alone

Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

"I understand now. That I am worthy of the love Britt has for me. And I am surrounded by great friends, and family who accept me for who I am. Bullying is destructive. Corrosive. Stupid. Don't *bleep* do it. It's all I'm saying. If you're straight and feel threatened - man up. We probably wouldn't date you anyway. If you're like me, and you're going through what I went through - self-doubt, hate - don't do it. Reach out. Promise?" She asks the camera, and tilts her head just so, expecting an answer. She puts up her pinky and says, "pinky promise."

Carry on, carry on

The song ends as the screen goes dark, the credits start to roll, and her laughter breaks through. "How was that?" She asks. "Do you want me to try again?"

"It was perfect, Santana." James' voice.

"Good. I'm glad. The credits are over and she comes back up.

"Carry on," Santana finishes and smiles. It's a shot from when I had finished the song and she had said that to the crew. She looks carefree and happy. I've never been so proud.

"You've been awfully quiet." Quinn remarks on our way back.

"Me?"

She looks around, nobody else in sight. "Do you see anybody else I could be talking to?"

"I'm fine." I say. I sound unconvincing to my own ears. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. I smile at her, but falter. "You were really good though. Your debut was a success - I'm worried for my career now."

She laughs, or attempts to anyway, and says, "Don't worry. I'm never doing something like that again. I felt so awkward the entire time through."

"It's a thrill!" I say, trying to make the tension go away. Just go away!

We stop in front of her dorm, "are you coming up?" She asks, unsure.

I shake my head, "I have an essay for my class due tomorrow that I haven't finished yet."

"Oh, yeah, that's right." She mumbles. Then she presses her eyes shut, "Rachel, are we okay?" Her eyes fall on mine when she opens them and I feel my chest close in on itself.

I try to clear the air asap, "yeah, yeah. Of course we are. I just really have to finish writing that paper and you know how hard it is for me to concentrate when you're around." I avoid her eyes and grab her by the back of her neck, kissing her cheek. "Good night."

She mutters, "good night." And I leave her on the front steps.

Protection.

It's the name of the game.

I'm protecting my heart because it feels like at any time, it is going to be shattered.

I busy myself with studying and writing papers, and getting assignments done so I don't have to think about the past week. I have lunch with Kurt, sometimes Tina. I spend extra hours practicing my dancing in the dance studio, and longer hours practicing my singing. It's the end of the semester but it doesn't mean I can slack.

Mr. Willows and April Rhodes both came up to me at the end of my final performance last week and told me just how magnificent I was. I need to still be good. I can't let other factors influence my career.

Focus.

That's what I need to be doing. My head was so deep into this that I almost threw away the best opportunity of a career that I had for Quinn. I love her, I really do, but - holy hell, what was I thinking? It's a good thing they backed down and didn't push on the issue.

I miss her. I mean, we talk every night, but we don't talk. Sometimes she'll find me between classes to give me a kiss or bring me a bottle of water or coffee, but there's no time to talk. I know she wants to ask, but I also know that she's scared of my reaction if she does.

So, yes. We're both avoiding the topic. Dancing around it, and hoping that somehow it'll vanish, but it lingers. It persists. I'll be reading a text for class and all of a sudden, I'll think of the video and just how awful it made me feel. It only grows worse, inside my head. Because I analyze it and I shouldn't think too much, but that's what I do. It was odd watching her act in love with someone else. It was incredibly uncomfortable and - it triggered this self-doubt that maybe, just maybe it could happen. That that's what it'd look like if she moved on from me, and this is how awful I'd feel. And I just can't.

Santana comes in the room with a smile but soon it disappears. She's sweating from every pore but she looks the happiest I've ever seen her. "Hey," she says, clearly confused, "what are you doing here?"

I get up, fix my sweats, and walk over to the mini-fridge to grab a water. "Studying," I say. She narrows her eyes at me.

"Here?" She questions and starts to remove her workout clothes. First she takes off the white shirt clinging to every curve of her body and throws it behind the door, removing the shorts next. "In our room? Where's Quinn?"

"I assumed you were with her." I say, a vague response to all of her questions. I sit back down, cross my legs and lean over my World Civ book again. I read the sentence three times over and over to even be able to say I understood one word. I can feel her eyes on the back of my head. "Stop looking at me like that." I say.

She snaps into action and grabs a new towel from the top cabinet on her side. "This is just odd. You always study with Quinn." She squats to look for something inside the closet.

"It's kind of distracting," I smile despite the way I'm feeling. "Can't keep our hands to ourselves." I mutter with the pen stuck between my teeth as I fix the hair on top of my head.

"Really, Berry." She says, and wraps the towel around her neck as she gets up. She sits on my desk and I roll my eyes. She scoots my papers and books over, removes the pen from my mouth rather forcefully, and then stares me down. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I say.

"Really?" She narrows her eyes.

"Really."

"So if I were to ask you why Quinn is being insufferable to her cheerleaders this past week - you wouldn't know why?"

"She is?" I question.

She nods, "and if I were to ask you why she's been eating a lot of lunches this past week with my girlfriend?"

I clear my throat, "I -" Choke.

"So, just tell me." She says with finality.

I exhale and drop my head back. "I don't know what it is."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm freaking out."

"About?"

"Quinn." I wince because I don't even have to think about the answer to that question.

She kicks my knee with her toes, I open my eyes, "why?" I close my eyes again, willing the question away.

"I don't want to talk about it?"

"Nice try. Go on - speak."

We're all having a good time. I'm mostly winding down from this week where all I've done is pretend I was fine. Santana and Kurt decided we should all hang out this Saturday night because finals week is coming up and we need to relax before we fry our brains starting Monday. We're all at Mike's, seeing as he is the only one of us who lives off campus so far, and we're all watching Sam and Mike wrestle.

I'm currently on Quinn's lap, nursing a beer, and she is running a hand up and down my back. It gives me the shivers a couple of times, and I giggle every time. She puts her face on my back to hide from the disgrace happening in front of us. I feel her smile at Sam's shirt being ripped. "You guys are insane. Get off from him, Mike." Mercedes chastises and comes in from the kitchen to stop the madness. A collective aw is heard through the apartment when she grabs Sam's arm and pulls him up and away from under Mike.

"Wuss," Santana says to Sam, "getting manhandled by your girlfriend like that."

"Okay! Who do we want to see up next?" Mike asks, placing a hand on Tina's shoulder to steady himself. "Blaine?" Blaine shakes his head no and picks up another cheese from the platter in front of him.

"I'll go!" Quinn says.

"What?" I ask her, turning around to meet her eyes.

She shrugs, "what? Could be fun, right?"

"Who do you challenge?" Mike asks.

She gets up from under me, gives my butt a smack, and says, "why, Rachel, of course."

Everybody makes catcalling noises and she puts a finger up and calls me over. She's now standing on the empty spot between the living room area and the dinner room without a table. I shake my head, "babe. No."

"Oh, come on, Rach. Be a good sport!" Tina says.

I itch my head, "Quinn. It's like -"

"It'll be like watching them get it on." Santana says with a grimace. "We're totally going to figure out who usually tops."

I laugh awkwardly, "see, Quinn. Sit back down. I was comfortable." I whine.

She laughs and extends her hand, "oh, come on. Don't be a sour puss," and irks a challenging eyebrow at me.

I look around and eight pairs of eyes are fixed on me -Mercedes and Sam are back from the bedroom where she found him one of Mike's shirts for him to put on, and Kurt is back from the kitchen, settling next to Blaine and crossing his legs. "Fine." I give in. "But no funny business." I warn the guys. They all shake their heads and promise no videos will be recorded. I smile as I set my beer down and strut over to where Quinn is waiting with her hands on her hips. Her eyes are trained on mine. "Are you sure about this?"

She licks her lips and says, "definitely. I can take you down, Berry."

"This is going to be so good." Sam says and sits on one of the sofa's armrest.

"I wouldn't be so sure," I warn her.

She steps up, cranks her neck one side then the other, and whispers, "We'll see."

"Oh, the fucking sexual tension is unbearable. Just get on with it!" Santana hollers.

Quinn leans in and kisses me. I open my mouth and my head drops to the right, and she uses this moment to hold my bicep and - "Ouch." I say when my back hits the floor. Within a second she's on top of me holding my arms to the floor.

"Holy fuck, I was not expecting this to be so hot." Sam says and Mercedes slaps his arm.

I struggle, swinging my legs, but I can't move. I smirk and use my thigh to connect it right between her legs. It's been almost an entire week since we actually had sex. I've been aching for her touch. I can feel how wet she is when my naked thigh - my shorts are kind of short - hits her center. She whimpers and loosens her hold for just a moment but it's so enough for me to turn us around.

We both don't want to lose, and our friends are encouraging us both with hollers, yells, and a lot of clapping. She holds my hand and throws it over my head, but I manage to grab on to her waist and tickle her, making her squirm and lose control again. She grunts when her back hits the floor. I laugh and she licks her lips. I want to grab them with my teeth, so I lean forward with that intention. She raises her leg and throws it over me, successfully sitting on my stomach.

"Damn." Mercedes mutters.

"That's so hot." Brittany says.

"Someone count to ten," Quinn says without averting her eyes from mine. I'm still trying to get away from her grip, but she won't bulge. She has a self-satisfied smile on her lips and I just want to get it off.

"1... 2..." They all start at the same time. I shake my hips to see if I can still make it out, but she simply lets her body descend over mine, pining me further. "10! Quinn wins!" Mike says. They all clap and she gets up, readjusts her shirt and shorts and offers me a hand. I take it. I'm so hot and bothered and wet though, I want nothing more than to take her to Mike's room and ravish her.

I grab my beer with my free hand on our way back to the reclining chair we had been sitting on, and she pulls me to her lap after she sits. "And that's how it's done." She says and laughs. I absolutely adore her laugh. It's so comforting, but energetic.

I groan, "now I'm going to have to listen to her brag about this for the rest of my life." I hold her face with the hand currently not holding a bottle of beer and force her to look me in the eyes. There's mischief and a hint of... anger? Maybe? My forehead connects with her cheek and I kiss it, lingering in the feeling of her smooth skin against my lips. It tingles. She shifts on the chair and wraps me up.

"That was pretty fucking awesome," Santana admits.

"Cheerleader legs," Quinn says casually. "I always win when I want to." She winks at Sam and his cheeks get impossibly red.

We walk in my room and her hands are already traveling up my sides, underneath my shirt, and then palming my breasts. I groan and throw my head back. It hits her collarbone. She walks us further into the room and continues grabbing me roughly. "I need your shirt to be off, now." She says.

I take it off and turn in her arms to look at her in the eyes. "Yours, too." I say and she does it, she's not wearing a bra. Then she reaches behind me and undoes mine. She dips her head to look me in the eyes and kisses me, our eyes open and connected. It's like she's searching for something, but I don't know what.

"Shorts."

I unzip my own, while she does hers, and our hands hit awkwardly because neither of us wants to move away to do so. Her mouth opens and I lick her tongue over and over. We manage to drop our shorts and step away without breaking from each other.

She grabs me by the waist and turns me around, leading me - pushing me - toward the wall. I place my hands up on the wall for support and she tweaks my nipples, hardening to her touch. "I love you." She whispers against my shoulderblades. She strokes her tongue across my shoulders, leaves a wet kiss on my left shoulder, and then trails her mouth up to my ear.

"I love you."

She chuckles and the warm air falls on my ear, tickling. I let one of my hands find her head, threading my fingers through her short hair, and pull her closer. My back arches, and she follows along - her smooth skin, warm and sweaty - never letting mine. My breasts press up against the hard wood and her hands palm them from the sides, crawling down to my hips. "Do you know how much I wanted to take you on Chang's floor?" She asks. She lightly grazes her fingertips over my thong's waistband. I moan, and use my right hand to hold her arm by the wrist. I take it and lead it to where I need it - where it's aching. Gloriously. "Hum?"

She cups me and squeezes, "yess," I moan. My muscles clench, needing.

"And I've fucking missed you." She explains while her hand dips into my underwear. I feel her, all over me, around me. Her lips touch my back. Her fingers dip into my folds and start to massage. I explode on the inside, grabbing her wrist tighter and forcing her to move harder. She doesn't though. She steps even closer and squats to level my ass. She kisses each cheek and then turns me again. I hurry to remove my thong, and she helps me, watching ever one of my movements with rapt attention.

From above, I see her grab my hips and pull me closer to her, while at the same time leaning in to taste me. I groan when the slick feeling of her tongue hits me, repeatedly. Sucking and circling. I breathe in, and thread my fingers through her hair. The other hand is on the cabinet behind me, grabbing onto nothing. She searches that hand with hers and interlocks our fingers. She uses the other hand to throw one of my legs over her shoulder. I automatically spread wider.

She backs away, licks her lips, and says, "gorgeous." My chest twists violently, and my abs clench. I feel the heat building. She kisses my clit, then sucks it, then her teeth lightly scrape against it. I moan, my hips shake. She laughs against my wet sex and I float with the sound of her voice. She lets go of my thigh and wets two fingers. Her tongue goes to work on my swollen, red clit, and two fingers dip, dip, and then enter me, stretching. "Fuck," she mutters. "You feel so good."

"You're a fucking goddess. Sex goddess. Don't stop. Don't stop."

And she doesn't until I come on her fingers and mouth.

She comes up my body, licking my belly button, the valley of my breasts, my neck, and uses the back of her hand to clean her chin. I pull her in desperately for a kiss, tasting myself on her mouth. "My turn." I tell her and grab her hand to take us to the bed.

Quinn doesn't sleepover because she has a Skype date with her parents. It's Judy's birthday and the four of them - Quinn, her parents, and her sister - are all logging in from wherever they are at midnight, just when her birthday begins. She asks if I want to come but I feel like it'd be interrupting in some family matter. I tell her to wish Judy happy birthday from me.

Just as she's leaving, Santana's coming home, sans Britt. They high five as they pass each other.

"Where's the girl?" I ask her, holding my robe closed with one hand and the door open for her with the other.

She passes by me, into the room, "Has to sleep early so I got kicked out."

I laugh, "ah." I close the door and look for my underwear.

"So... You look... Fucked and less tense. Did you guys talk?"

I purse my lips and turn away from her to pull up my thong, "uh..."

"Rachel!"

"What? I got... Distracted."

"You're a moron." Santana says and drops in front of her computer.

"I know," I say and shake my head. "But she was all over me when the door closed and... Sex goddess I'll tell ya."

She puts an index finger in each ear, "I don't need to hear that shit about Quinn."

"Sorry," I say without a trace of apology, "but it didn't happen. It slipped my mind."

"Whatever. Moron."

"Hi," I say and kiss her head. She takes off the reading glasses and looks surprised.

"Hey." She grabs my hand, pulls me closer, and I fall on her lap. "I wasn't expecting you around here today. Aren't you studying?"

"I'm taking a break," I shrug and release her hand so I can curl her hair on my finger. "And I'm making you take a break with me."

She raises an eyebrow and looks around me at the amount of spirals open on her desk. "I kind of have a lot to do."

I move her chin up, "so do them later."

"So," she pants, "you totally like fucking in the library, huh?"

I kiss her, "it's kind of our spot now, isn't it?"

She giggles when my fingers tickle her ribs on the way down toward her waist, over the curls, into the heat, "oh my g- yes."

We don't see each other Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. My last final is tomorrow. Hers was today. She's lying on her stomach, arms under her chin, and her reading glasses on. She looks really cute. My heart skips a beat when she looks up at me and I realize I was caught staring.

She's reading one of her novels; I'm reading more about the Aztecs, reviewing notes and trying to understand the timelines.

She came over, said hi, kissed me on the lips, got on the bed and pulled out her book. I just let her because what was I supposed to say? Leave? And I want her to be here. I miss her. I feel like I'm constantly missing her lately.

I shake my head, concentrate on the words on the page of the book. My eyes wonder over to her, engrossed on the literature of Edgar Allan Poe.

Summer's around the corner. She's going home in three days on Sunday and I get to stay here to start on Spring Awakening rehearsals next Monday. I sigh.

"I'm going to miss you."

She turns, meets my eyes. "I'll miss you, too." She moves around, shifts until she's on her butt, book discarded and forgotten. I do the same and close my book with the highlighter inside, blinking because my head hurts, and my brain thanks me for the break. "But we have Skype and phone calls, and I'll come down in mid-June to spend some time with you like we talked about, remember?"

"Yes, I remember." I say but it feels like mid-June is so far away.

She snickers and crawls to the edge of the bed. "Come on," she opens her arms.

I bite my lip, for some reason shy, and get up. I walk to her and hug her. She wraps her arms around my body and pulls me down on top of her. We giggle all the way. "It feels so far away," I tell her.

"Won't be," she promises and nuzzles my cheek. I cherish the feeling. "Besides, it'll only be another three weeks until I have to come back for cheer camp and then we'll see each other constantly."

It doesn't sound as daunting when she explains it like that. "How is it that I only met you four months ago but I feel like I've known you for much longer?"

"I feel the same," she assures me and moves hair away from my eyes. She massages my right ear and tugs on it.

I clear my throat, "guess what I heard from Kurt? He was positive he saw Finn texting Harmony on his last day here. He thinks they're talking even though he's all the way in LA."

She says, "that's so funny. They belong together - life ruiners and all."

I laugh and slap her playfully, "don't be mean."

"I'm honestly just thankful he's far, far, far away." I love the way her lips curve effortlessly into the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

"I need to study." I say when my head is comfortably resting under hers. Her arms are around my shoulders, and I never not love this embrace. I don't want to move. I don't plan on it.

"You're ready." She tells me and doesn't move.

I close my eyes and relax.

I lied. I realize that I lied because it's Saturday, she leaves tomorrow, and I told her I'd forgotten what she said. But I haven't. I haven't and I can't and especially not when it's Saturday, one day until she leaves, and we run into fucking Gaea while out together.

Just my fucking luck.

But I remind myself that I can't say anything because it's supposedly forgotten, and I shouldn't be jealous. I stare at their exchange from behind the safety of my sunglasses and wonder what goes through Quinn's mind as she talks to her. Does she find her attractive? Did she enjoy fake-kissing her?

My stomach is upset, and I don't know if it's because of the tacos we had or if it's because of the thoughts in my head.

They both turn to look at me and I smile, nod my head, pretend to listen. I still don't know just what team Gaea roots for and it frustrates me. I shift my weight and busy my mind with thoughts of other things like - the way that little boy's suspenders are so adorable, or - yeah, that's a big dog. I search my brain for the breed but I'm not a dog expert. I only know two breeds - chihuahuas and poodles. Everything else to me is categorized as 'dog.'

I feel a little dizzy, run my left arm on my forehead. My right hand starts to sweat so I pull it from Quinn's and stick it in my jean's pockets. She looks at me and frowns but doesn't say anything. Gaea says something to her about whatever and she forgets my action.

I sigh. I don't want to be here, talking to Gaea. I want to... What do I want? And what am I doing? And why is my head so fuzzy? And my eyes blurring? Why -

"Baby?"

I groan. I think.

"Rachel?" Who's voice is that?

"Rach? Are you okay?" I open my eyes. I feel dazed. I feel funny. A face on top of me - I assume it's Quinn's because the voice is hers. "Babe, say something."

"I -" I'm thirsty. "Ouch." The back of my head hurts. I touch it.

"Your head must hurt from when you feel. One instant you were there and the next all I heard -" Quinn stops talking. She looks so concerned. "You shouldn't stand up. Someone called 911, we're gonna take you to a hospital, okay?"

Gaea is crouching down next to her. That's who the second voice was. I nod at Quinn, I don't think I could get up if I wanted to.

All I know is that my head hurts, my stomach aches, I feel bile coming up, and I really, really, really need water.

A/N: I've been so nervous about posting this chapter. I know a lot of you will tear me apart, but all I ask is that you keep trusting me? :) Love you all! Xo

Don't hate on Rachel (or Quinn). They're human beings. And as much as we want it to be, no one's relationship is ever perfect. I'm sorry this fanfiction isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Like I said before (I think), falling in love isn't a smooth road.

That being said, THERE ARE SO MANY SONGS LEFT on my outline. Everything will be okay. :)