Author's Note: Well I am back! I had a wonderful trip into Portland to see my best friend. Went to a couple of Powell's bookstores and saw some random ladies walking toy dogs have a cuss out with some homeless guys. Good times.

So...I kind of started reading comics... I think I already mentioned I tried The Winter Soldier on my kindle, well then Walmart had some comics for $5 so I got an Avengers one and I just bought three Cap comics from Hastings cause they were having a 25% off sale... Yeah. Also I bought a Guardians of the Galaxy one on my kindle. Haven't seen the movie yet, but I'm enjoying the comic. I feel so good for having tried something new that I was very, very wary of and finding that I actually enjoy reading them! They're corny in an amusing sort of way. They make me laugh and the stories are intriguing, so hey, why not?

Alright, we've got some more Steve and Aspen awkwardness coming up. Fun stuff. I admit I haven't written in awhile, but I've still got a few chapters on reserve. Between working like crazy and reading and painting and taking photography (my boss let me sell my local shots at the store I work at!), I just haven't had time! But I'm feeling the itch again.

I wanted to say thank you, thank you for your support! A Game of Trust now has OVER 100 favorites! That is a first for any of my stories and makes my life. Amazing! And A Game of Enemies isn't doing too badly either! I came back from Portland and had an inbox full of notifications from fanfic. That made me happy! Hope you are enjoying - thank you so much for reading!

22 – The Start of Something New – May 24, 2012

Steve's hand hovered over his phone, Peggy's file in his other hand. Aspen had left an hour ago and he still hadn't gotten the nerves up to call Peggy. He wasn't sure why he was struggling so much with this. It was a simple call. She'd be thrilled that he was still alive. He'd be thrilled to hear her voice. Why then was it so difficult to dial a number? Maybe it was because Peggy was his last link to his old life. Everyone else was dead. The last thing he had heard before he'd crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic was Peggy's voice. She'd kissed him before he'd leapt onto the aircraft, and he'd looked down at her picture in the cap of his compass as he'd taken the plane down. He still had the compass. Fury had returned it to him after it had been recovered from the ruins of the Valkyrie and it lay open on the table on top of Bucky's file. Missing in Action that file read. Not dead, but missing. If only it was that simple. Steve shut his eyes for a moment, reliving the worst moment of his life, watching his friend fall. He knew what Aspen would say if she was here. 'Peggy's still alive – call her before you lose everyone from your past. It's a chance in a lifetime, you can't not take it.'

He picked the phone up off the stand and pressed in the numbers. 020-7946-03560. As the phone began to ring, he felt his heart pick up a beat. A voice came on the other line.

"Hello?" Peggy's crisp British accent was just as he remembered if not a little wearier.

"Peggy?"

"Yes. Who is this speaking?"

"It's Steve, Peggy. Steve Rogers. I don't know if they told you I was alive…" he trailed off, waiting for her response.

"Steve?" The hope behind Peggy's voice made his knees weaken. He took the phone over to the couch and sat down.

"Yeah."

"They told me you were alive. I saw the footage from New York. I didn't know how to get in contact with you, but I knew you'd call me when you were ready."

"It took me awhile," he said. "It's taken me awhile to adjust. I'm still adjusting. I'm sorry it took me so long to call."

"I understand. It's so good to hear your voice, Steve," Peggy told him.

"Same here. I thought I'd never hear your voice again," he said. "That was the last thing I heard before I took the plane down in the Arctic. I'm sorry I missed our date."

Peggy laughed, a melodic, wonderful sound that made Steve's heart ache. "I'm sorry too," she said. "We never had our dance."

"How are you? I mean, what happened after that day? Are you doing well?" He hardly knew what to ask. She'd lived a lifetime while he'd been frozen for most of his.

"I'm doing well. I had a good life," she said. "I'm just sorry you missed it."

"I am too. All those years… Everyone else is gone. I just…I feel alone sometimes. Well, I miss the past."

"It's not fair what happened, but it's a gift that you're alive. You have a second chance to have a life. You can make it a good one even if it's not the one you thought you'd have."

"Did you ever get married? Have kids?" Steve hoped he wasn't prying, but he wanted to know that Peggy had had her life. He wanted to fill in the blank pages and know that she was happy.

"I did. He was one of the men you saved in the 107th Infantry. You made that possible. We had two children. He passed away several years ago, but I have had a happy life."

"I'm sorry he's gone, but I'm so happy to hear that you have had a good life."

"What about you, Steve? How are you doing in the 21st century?"

Steve hesitated. "Well, I met someone…" He hadn't been planning on telling Peggy about Aspen just yet, but he felt a pride just thinking about Aspen. He knew Peggy would like her.

"How wonderful! What's her name and how did you meet?" Peggy sounded delighted, and Steve relaxed.

"Aspen. She was assigned to help me adjust to the 21st century. She was more than just an agent though, she was a friend. We've been through a lot together."

"I'm happy for you, Steve."

"I'm sorry that we never got a chance," he said softly. "But it sounds like we both got a second chance."

"Sometimes we have to move forward. There's no going back. You've got a lifetime ahead of you to discover what else is out there. I'm just so glad you won't be alone."

"Me too. I was so lucky that I never did have to be alone. I still feel lonely sometimes. It's just difficult to keep moving forward when part of me is still stuck in the past. It will just take time. To everyone else it's been 67 years. To me it's still only been a few months. It takes longer that that to move on."

"Of course it does. I can't even imagine what you're going through."

"I'm going to work for SHIELD. I'm going to start training with Aspen soon. I want to help people. That's what I'm meant for."

"Saving the world once wasn't enough?" He could hear the teasing in Peggy's voice.

"I guess not."

"I suppose it's twice now."

"I had some help the second time. And the first. I wouldn't have gotten far without you."

"Always so modest. You've never lost that even after all you've done and been through."

They talked for over an hour, Peggy filling in the details of her life, telling him about her children and their achievements. In turn Steve told her about adjusting to the 21st century and his adventures with Aspen. Finally he gave Peggy his number and they promised to keep in touch. "It was so good to hear from you, Steve," she said.

"You too."

"This lifetime needs someone like you to keep it in line."

"I hope I'm up for the job."

After he hung up, Steve felt a mixture of relief and happiness and sorrow. It was both wonderful hearing Peggy's voice again, knowing she'd had a good life, and sad knowing that he'd missed it. What she'd said resonated with him though. Sometimes we have to move forward. There's no going back. You've got a lifetime ahead of you to discover what else is out there. He had been given a second chance, and his future was laid out before him waiting for him to take charge. He set the phone back in its cradle and gathered up the files, putting them in a desk drawer. He glanced at his compass before shutting it and adding it to the drawer. Moving on didn't mean he had to forget the past, but he wouldn't let it hold him back.

…

Aspen set her keys down in her apartment, suddenly aware of how silent and empty it was. Her eyes flitted to the picture of her with her parents standing in front of the Sunflower House and then to the drawing Steve had done for her. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and she hastily wiped them away. There was nothing for her here, she realized. The only place she wanted to be right now was with Steve. She hastily piled clothes into her bag and shut off the lights before driving to his apartment. When she reached the door she knocked after a second's hesitation. She felt like she was being needy. Intruding when they were both still getting used to the idea of 'them.'

Steve opened the door a moment later, worry furrowing his brow. "Are you alright?" he asked, standing aside to let her in.

"I just didn't want to be alone," she said. "That apartment feels so empty. I was hoping I could stay here for awhile? I can sleep on the couch. And you can tell me if you aren't alright with this. I won't be offended" She bit her lip, realizing she was rambling.

Steve's mouth lifted in a smile. "Of course I don't mind," he said. "And you don't have to sleep on the couch. You can have the bed."

"I went to see my mom. She's going to Portland on Tuesday with Hannah and my Aunt Vi. She didn't want me to come because she thought I'd get too caught up in the past and not want to come back. She told me this story about how I got my name and how my dad grew up in Germany… I don't know. It's like first she wants me to move back with her and now she's pushing me away. She thinks she's trying to help me, but I feel like I'm losing her again." Aspen felt Steve put a hand on her arm and realized her vision had gone blurry.

"I'm sure that's not true. She wouldn't let that happen. Not after she found you again."

"I think she feels like the best way to protect me is to keep her distance and not let me anywhere near my past. She's made so many mistakes before when she was trying to protect me… But I don't need to be protected anymore. I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a long time. I was more than willing to let her in, but now she seems to be scrambling to find an exit."

Steve pulled her into the circle of his arms, pressing her head to his chest. She gripped her arms around his back, holding onto him like an anchor. "I feel unlovable which is childish and selfish, but I just needed to get that off my chest," she said, her voice muffled as she spoke into his shirt. The cotton smelled fresh as if it'd just come out of the dryer, and she breathed it in.

"That's not true at all," he told her, tightening his grip around her. She let herself be comforted by his voice and his warmth, trying hard not to cry. She felt exhausted, and her legs wobbled for a moment. Steve kept her steady.

"Do you want to lie down?" he asked. "You've had a rough few weeks. I know you haven't been sleeping well."

"That haggard?" she asked with a smile.

He gave her a small smile in response. "Let's just say I know the feeling."

They settled on the couch, Aspen on one end, her legs across Steve's, head against the arm. She watched him, seeing the tiny edge to his eyes, the bit of tenseness to his shoulders. She knew he wasn't entirely comfortable with being around her in this new sense yet. It would take some getting used to for both of them but right now she just wanted to be close to him. She reached out to take his hand, resting their entwined fingers on her knee. Her eyes began to close.

"I called Peggy," Steve told her. Her eyes flashed open.

"You did?" she asked excitedly. "What did she say?"

"She was happy to hear from me." He sounded as if he had doubted that this was possible.

"Of course she was!" Aspen rolled her eyes, giving him a smile to let him know she was teasing.

"She's happy. She had a good live – has a good life. She married and had kids. Her husband passed away, but I could hear how happy she was in her voice. She's lived her life to the fullest. She told me I had a second chance and that I should take it."

"Sound advice."

"And I told her about you."

Aspen looked at him in surprise. "And?" She felt a stab of nerves that surprised her. Like she needed Peggy's approval. In a way, she felt like she did.

"She was really happy that we met. She says you sound like a wonderful person."

Aspen's cheeks flushed with pleasure. "Really?"

Steve nodded. "She said we were lucky to find each other."

"We were."

"We're going to stay in touch. It was really good to hear her voice – hard, but good."

"It's a good step toward recovery," Aspen said. "Just because you're moving on from your past doesn't mean you have to forget it. Why are our lives so complicated?" she added with a sigh.

"Somehow I feel like they're about to get even more complicated."

"At least we're in it together."

"That is a consolation." Aspen closed her eyes. She felt Steve relax next to her and must have dozed off soon later because he was waking her gently, and it was dark outside.

"Do you want to just go to bed?" he asked her. "You've had a long day."

"What time is it?"

"Seven-thirty. Are you hungry?"

Aspen realized she was. "We should just order pizza or something."

He stared at her for a moment. "Order from where?" he finally asked, brow furrowed.

"Oh, right. I forgot you didn't have pizza delivery back then. You call the restaurant, order what you want, and someone comes and delivers it to the door."

"That's handy."

"Yeah it is." She shook off her weariness and looked up a pizza place nearby. "Have you ever even had pizza?"

"I had a slice for lunch one afternoon," he said.

"Do you like pepperoni and sausage and black olives?" she asked. "I don't like any other vegetables, but we can get half and half."

"I'm fine with anything," he told her.

"So easy." She smiled and placed the order online. "The thing about today is that you can do everything online, even order pizza and pay." She pulled out her debit card. Steve watched as she paid for the order and even added in the tip.

"That's pretty incredible," he said. "I'm still getting used to how everything is so technology based."

"Sometimes I think old-fashioned is better. You just had a different set of values. People respected each other more. Everything today is so fast and done without thinking. Technology has made it easier to hate and bully and keep an anonymous identity. The bullies can hide behind words typed into phones or on the internet. It's not a fair fight. People are so wrapped up in their technology that they forget to actually talk to people face-to-face. Only traditional families sit down for dinner and have deep conversations. I think I would have liked the 1930s and 40s."

"Well if I ever find a way to go back, I'll bring you along."

Aspen smiled at the thought. "What if I had been born in 1920?" she asked. "Do you think we would have found each other?"

"I hope so. I'm not sure the 1930s could have handled your spunk. You'd have been one of the girls wearing pants and trying to join the Army."

Aspen laughed. "Probably. I wonder what I would have been like. What I would have done… I think I would have joined the war somehow. I would have wanted to help."

"I could see you as a nurse."

"Not a showgirl?"

Steve looked bashful. "You know about all that, huh?"

Aspen grinned at him. "After New York I did my research. I wanted to know what I'd been missing since I seemed to be the only person who didn't know who you were my whole life. I saw some of the black and white reels from the shows you did. I hadn't realized selling bonds could be so…musical."

"It wasn't ideal."

"Ah, but you did it so well!"

"Okay, I take it back, I could see you as a nosey woman-reporter," he said, giving her knee a playful shove.

"Actually that sounds like a cool job. I could see me in the pantsuit and fedora tipped over my left eye getting the scoop."

A knock on the door interrupted their thoughts and they both stood. Aspen went to the door while Steve hovered back, clearly not wanting to risk being identified. After Aspen shut the door, she set the pizza box on the counter and got out plates, forks, and napkins. Three slices in, she realized just how starving she had been. She hadn't eaten much since Iceland and had grown a little gaunter. She knew she needed to keep up her strength for training, but somehow she couldn't quite see the end of this sadness she felt. She had realized that morning that it wasn't ever going to go away completely. It was another scar she would bear like the one on her cheek.

"If you want to shower, the bathroom's yours. I'll clean up here," Steve said when they had finished.

"Thanks." Aspen felt as if she had dirt from the cemetery under her fingernails that wouldn't come out no matter how hard she scrubbed. She stood under the hot water for a long while, waiting until she felt clean. Clad in her plaid PJ bottoms and cotton shirt, she joined Steve back in the living room. When he went to shower, she pulled out her phone, noticing that she had a text from Clint. She scanned the words. We need to talk. Meet me tomorrow at our place. Noon. Clint

She wondered if he was finally going to tell her about his brother. He hadn't said a word about him since they'd first seen him rise from the ashes like a phoenix. She was dying to know more about him, but she wasn't going to push Clint. He would tell her when he was ready. She knew that as an agent he kept his personal life and past to himself. He shouldn't have to bear this burden alone though. Not when she could help.

She replied quickly. Of course. I'll see you then. Also, thank you for coming to the funeral today. It meant a lot to me, and my mom as well. Aspen

Her phone buzzed a second later. I've got your back, Pen.

She smiled and tucked her phone away. She heard the water shut off and a moment later Steve walked into the room, blonde hair damp, grey T-shirt sticking a little to his torso. She tore her eyes away from his muscles. She was not one of those girls. It just always threw her off when she realized just how perfect he was. If she didn't know him, she might have rolled her eyes, brushed him off, but he was so much more than his muscles. The way his small, hesitant smile lit up his blue eyes when he looked at her made her heart surge a little.

"I think I'll head to bed," she said, standing. She hesitated. "If you wanted – I mean, if it's not too…forward. Er…" she struggled for the words, cheeks growing red. "I don't mind if we share," she finally got out. "I mean, the bed is big enough for both of us. I don't mind. I hate to make you sleep on the couch in your own apartment." She looked down at the floor.

Steve was silent for a moment. "I don't mind," he finally said. "I know things are…different today."

"I don't mind being old-fashioned. I just think we'd both be more comfortable this way," Aspen said. They both hovered in the doorway until Aspen entered the bedroom. They lay down on their respective sides, Aspen feeling suddenly nervous. She inwardly laughed at herself when she realized why: she was terrified of overstepping boundaries. Steve had grown up in a time where this would have been highly unacceptable to respectable people. But it wasn't as if they hadn't slept next to each other before. She rolled over so she was facing Steve. He was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"If I have a nightmare and wake you up, will you wake me?" Aspen asked.

He turned his blue eyes on her. "Have you been having nightmares?"

Aspen nodded. "Ever since Iceland. Every night."

"Of course," Steve told her. "Of course I will."

Aspen smiled, closing her eyes and curling up closer to Steve. He kept his distance, but reached out a hand to take hers. As their fingers entwined, Aspen felt her smile grow. She wished she could always feel this safe.