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A reminder that this story is rated M for language and sexual content.
And once again, shockingly, I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.
Chapter 25 – Never been kissed
EPOV
Pitiful and pathetic. Two perfect words to describe Edward Cullen at the moment.
Driving twice the speed limit back to the apartment, I hoped to get this evening's date off my mind, if even for one minute only. I have never been on such a strange, perplexing and frustrating date in all of my life, and believe me, I had been on many. From seeing Heidi come on to Bella, to bonding over ice cream and the almost kiss and then leaving in a mild panic because of something stupid like Rosalie fucking Hale messing with my head.
In truth it was not just Rose, I had already been doing a pretty good job of messing with my own brain, over thinking every little thing that happened. Fuck knows why, but Bella just makes me really nervous. As a result, the one person that I genuinely want to impress and I come out looking like a pussy who doesn't know what he wants.
For fuck's sake, when have I ever taken so long to just kiss someone. When Bella leaned in to give me a peck after ice cream, I acted like it was the biggest fucking thing in the world. Christ, she probably thinks that she turns me off right about now, and nothing could be further from the truth. I had wanted to pounce so badly but again, I want to do things right, take things slowly so that she knows how much she means to me.
Yeah right, you goddamn wimp. One look from Rose shriveled you like never before and now it's time to fucking man up. Bella wanted me, that was plain and simple, and if she still did by the time we got to school on Monday, I would prove that I could be everything she needs, and then some. Fuck yeah, Operation Bella. I liked the sound of that.
Unbidden thoughts of Bella in a nurse's uniform came to mind and before I knew it, I had my dick in hand and stroking like there was no tomorrow. One can only take so much sexual frustration, and well honestly, Mrs Palmer and her five daughters and I were so well acquainted these days that there was no need for long introductions, just straight down to business. Thank god I was already in the parking lot of my building and could really get into it, literally one minute later I was grabbing a towel from the back seat and spilling into it, relieved, if only for a few minutes. These days, this was the only action I saw and it was becoming so unsatisfying but if I was going to go after Bella, I wanted no one night stands to come back and haunt my ass. In fact, the thought of it kind of turned my stomach a little and without analyzing it, I knew these feelings were all Bella related. This chick had seriously fucked up my mojo.
Once in my bedroom, I was haunted by the scenes of this evening, so much so that when I did finally fall asleep I dreamt about Bella, always just out of my reach and no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I couldn't get to her, until she just vanished into nothing.
These dreams spurred my ass into gear on Sunday morning. I'm sure they were a sign that if I didn't get my shit together, and soon, Bella would be lost to me, and well frankly, that just couldn't happen.
I phoned a florist and ordered the biggest bunch of tulips that they had and asked that they attach a note. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Simple, but in this instance, very true.
I phoned Bella's home phone, but no one picked up on the other end. A glance at the clock told me that it was 9.30 in the morning and I wondered if she was still asleep. Not wanting to wake her if she was, I sent her a text.
Good morning, sleeping beauty. Sorry I left like I did last night. Breakfast? E
Hopefully she would get that soon and we could meet up to get a few things sorted.
Making a pot of coffee, I sat down at the kitchen bench and thought of all the ways I could make it up to Bella. Another restaurant date to finally get things right maybe. No, been there, done that and it really doesn't seem to work for us right now.
Movies? Too generic. Picnic? Maybe, but I want something a little different. All day sex session in the penthouse suite of the Four Seasons? Perfect. For me that is, but not sure if Bella would go for it. Think Edward, think.
Before I knew it, Em came wandering out of his room and headed straight for the coffee. Looking at the clock again, I was surprised that is was almost noon and realized that I had been sitting here wracking my brain for over two hours. I still hadn't heard from Bella, this was not a good sign. Shit, I fucked things up already, didn't I?
"What's up, baby bro?" Em asked, grinning all the while. Everything with him has to have double meaning and it was not lost on me this morning.
"Nothing much Emmett? Just thinking." No wonder I now had a headache, I had been concentrating on what I could do for Bella all morning and still had come up a blank. "By the way, thanks for last night, you cockblocking son of a bitch." Oh yeah, still pissed at him and Rose for their interruption.
"Really man? Rose said something like that but I didn't believe her. I thought she was just making shit up, you know."
"Jesus Emmett, for a smart guy, you can be so fucking clueless sometimes." He really had no idea what was going on around him.
"No need to take it out on me man. We seriously came over to watch the game and that's it. We didn't even think you guys would be there. So how did it all go, before we fucked it all up for you?" Might as well tell him now, I'm sure Rose will fill him in anyway after she speaks to Bella about it.
"Do I start with Bella getting hit on by our waitress, our bonding over ice cream or Rose and yourself barging in on what I am sure would have been a moment." Em was suspiciously quiet, he hadn't said a word.
"Em, did you hear what I said?"
"Sorry bro, I didn't get past the bit where Bella got hit on by the waitress. Was she hot? What did Bella do? Was there any action?" Em looked like he was about to combust any minute.
"Slow down there, dipstick. Of course there was not action, I said Heidi came on to Bella, not…"
"Heidi, did she have pigtails and shit?" Oh, Em.
"No Emmett, no pigtails. All she…"
"Did she have a short plaid skirt on, braces over her top and knee high socks on?" Emmett was literally on the end of his seat.
"Fuck Emmett. Concentrate. She was not dressed like your typical version of a Swedish milkmaid. Get over it." It was a little funny though, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something that I wanted to see. Bella and a Swedish milkmaid Heidi, rolling down the grass hills of the Alps together, limbs tangled and …
"Edward, did you just space there?" I nodded, I guess I did.
"Thank fuck, it wasn't just me. I don't know about you, but I saw Heidi and Bella milking cows together, and the milk spilt all over them, and of course their tops were white and now see through. So they start patting each other to try and clean up a litt…"
"You can stop now Emmett, I get the picture." Boy did I. Lots of food for thought for tonight, alone in my bed or the shower. Just Bella, Heidi and I. Christ, get a fucking grip. It has obviously been way too long since I got laid.
"So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the waitress took a fancy to Bella and gave her a note with her phone number on it. Bella kinda fucked with my head a little and pretended that she was interested, but it was all just a bit of payback for me being a jerk before. Anyway, we had ice cream, we chatted for ages, Bella kissed me, we went to her place for coffee…yes coffee only, and then you busted in and stuffed up any chance I had to take matters any further."
"What. Wait, back up a little. Bella kissed you?" Em looked a little dumbfounded.
"Is that so hard to believe, that Bella would kiss me?" I tried to look wounded, but deep down I found it hard to believe as well and wanted a second opinion.
"Don't go getting all Dr Phil on me and over analyzing it Ed. It just surprised me that Bells would do that, she is not normally so forward, that's all." What he said did have a ring of truth to it.
"So," he continued, "where did she kiss you?" What a stupid question.
"On the mouth, you fool."
"No, was it at dinner, at her place, where? And why didn't you move in for the kill, why did you wait for her to do it?" What was this, twenty fucking questions.
"After ice cream, just before we headed to her place. I guess it was kind of spur of the moment, and I didn't want to push her by just going for it. I was trying to do the right thing, be a gentleman." I sighed, things never turn out like planned.
"Don't worry Ed. I think Bell will be impressed by your intentions. At least you have given up on the man ho image that you were so busy building for yourself. No one can doubt that you are turning things around." And this is why I tell Em things occasionally. While he can, and does, take the piss most of the time, he also has a way of putting things in perspective. No bullshit, just the truth as he sees it.
"I hope so, I really do. I am trying so hard to be everything she wants or needs. I'm going insane, second guessing everything that I do. Wondering what I should be doing or saying. It is all very tiring and hard to maintain. I just don't want to screw it up, for once."
"All that worrying, that is your problem. Be yourself, nothing more, nothing less. And I'm not talking the cocky, arrogant fucker who keeps everyone at arms length and doesn't let anyone get close. Do you think I don't know why you act this way, that it doesn't scare you to death of being so vulnerable again. Treat her how you know she deserves to be treated and if it's meant to be, then it will happen. Don't sell yourself short Ed, you are a bloody great guy and I know she sees that." Em gave me a one armed hug, slapping me on my back and taking a deep breath.
"Right, lets take the bras and skirts off, you want a beer?" He burped out loud and scratched his butt, trust Emmett to get things back on an even keel.
"Would kill for one." I looked at him as he walked into the kitchen. "And thanks, for everything."
Later that evening and a few beers later, I decided to take most of Emmett's advice. I still hadn't heard a word from Bella, but there was a message when I checked my phone.
Sorry I missed call. Phone out of battery. Shopping with Rose. Thanks for flowers. C u tomorrow. B
I'm glad to hear from her finally, though there is no indication in her text on how she feels, specifically about me. Hopefully the fact that she even text me back was a good thing.
I would try to stop stressing over every little thing where Bella was concerned. Relax a little, and try to be a little more confident around her. If I wanted to ask her out, I would. If I wanted to comment on how she looked, I would. And if I wanted to kiss her, I would sweep her off her feet and she wouldn't know what goddamn hit her. And it was going to happen. Very soon.
The next morning, I had arrived at school a little early to get my shit together. I was kind of already breaking my oath last night to not stress so much, but I just wanted to have a little time to myself before she arrived.
Looking out the window, I was just waiting to see Bella's truck come down the road, and when it did, I went and grabbed her coffee and paper and ran like a bat out of hell to place them on her desk and disappear before she got there.
I left the room and hid around the corner, just in time to see her go to her desk. My note this morning I felt was true for both of us. I didn't think I needed Bella in my life, that she would complicate things and I didn't want to get attached. For Bella, I am probably the last person that she thought she should have in her life, a womanizer who probably wouldn't stay faithful and would break her heart.
Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn't think you wanted.
Watching her read it, I comprehended that her reaction to this note was everything. The way I would go about chasing her, if at all and when I would make my intentions undoubtedly clear depended on her response.
At first there was nothing. She then sat down and sighed, before smiling to herself and nodding slightly. That was good, right. She seemed contemplative and that is what I wanted, I needed her to think about it.
Satisfied, I walked back to my class, feeling a little less anxious and thinking about what I would say to Bella when I saw her. But fuck it, no planning remember. Act naturally and just let it come. Nothing else has really worked, so I will try it Emmett's way.
The day dragged and I was starting to get nervous again as lunch drew nearer. It was my week for lunch and unfortunately due to many beers for dinner last night, I didn't get around to making anything much. Just ham and salad sandwiches but I didn't think that she would mind.
Finally, put out of my misery, the bell sounded and I headed toward the staff room. Pushing open the door to a virtually empty room, I immediately saw Bella over by the window and she literally took my breath away. She was only dressed casually, but I had never seen her look so lovely.
She turned, caught my eye and of course, blushed. She had the note in her hand and while we were staring at each other, she nodded. She knew exactly the meaning of my note and was agreeing with me. I just got my green light, and combined with that come and get me blush, I couldn't stop myself.
In four large strides I was standing in front of her and cupping her beautiful face in my hands. She gasped out loud but didn't pull away from me, in fact she was staring at me with such longing that I don't know how I didn't see it before this. In that moment, she owned me, and there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her.
Slowly, giving her the opportunity to back away if she wanted, I lowered my face to hers. "You're the one I need, Bell," I whispered for her ears only. A slight nod and I put my lips to hers, very gently, and felt whole.
While I was marveling at the texture of her lips, being the selfish creature that I am, I knew I needed more. I licked her bottom lip and then sucked it lightly into my mouth causing her to moan and open her mouth to me. Had there ever been anything sweeter than her? I fucking doubt it.
Bella started to tense up and I wondered what the problem was. Someone cleared their throat behind us, so I reluctantly released her lips and took a step back. Shit, I forgot where we were and now I had a fucking painful hard on and no relief in sight.
Taking a hold of Bella's hand I led us to the nearest table, in the corner and as far away from prying eyes as possible. We both sat down and thank Christ, Bella started to giggle, which in turn started off my laughter. At least we weren't going to ignore this kiss, though I knew that would not be a problem for me. I would be thinking about this kiss when I was old and grey.
"Sorry lunch is nothing exotic today, I didn't have a lot of time last night or this morning and it was all I could manage." I grinned sheepishly at her. I knew she wouldn't care but I had no hesitation in playing up the cute factor. She beamed at me in return.
"Edward, it looks fine so you can stop with the puppy dog eyes now. Yes, you're very cute." She pet the top of my head and again I was owned.
We indulged in small talk for the rest of the break, though I still held her hand. I wanted there to be no misunderstandings, no mistakes or any questions of my feelings.
Just before the break was over, I had to make plans with her for the weekend. We were going to move forward with this if it killed me and I was on such a high that I thought I would just jump right in. I had wanted to think of some fantastic date, one that she would never forget but I couldn't think of just the right thing. I guess I just had to wing it.
"Bella, would you like to have dinner with me on Friday night? No restaurants though, I promise. My place, if that's ok with you. I would love to cook for you." I know it was no grand gesture, very simple but exactly what I wanted to do for her. And I had a gut feeling that the simple gesture was the right one, that Bella would appreciate the effort that I took to cook for her. Now I have to convince Emmett to disappear for the night and all will be perfect. Well, if she accepts that it.
"Edward, I would love to, I really would. It does sound lovely. But I can't. I'm sorry." She looked upset.
"Oh, ok. Sorry Bella. Um. I guess I thought that you might be interested, but I guess I got it wrong." I started to get up but Bella's hand on my arm stopped me.
"Edward, just listen. I can't on Friday, I have to go to my parent's house for dinner. I promised them weeks ago that I would go and I really can't get out of it. But I'm free on Saturday." She looked up at me through her lashes, as if I could ever say no to her.
"Saturday sounds perfect. Just come over anytime after 7." Finally, we seem to be getting somewhere. She scared the fuck out of me when she said no before. I don't think I have ever felt so unwanted or redundant before. But now, onward and upwards.
"I'll see you later Edward, thank you for lunch and everything." Another beautiful smile, I would never get enough.
"Your welcome, for everything," I said, pulling her close to me. I needed one more kiss, just to get me through the day.
This time I swept in faster, eager to get to those plump lips. I moaned this time when she licked my bottom lip and plunged her tongue in my mouth, but she removed it all too soon and stepped back from me, with a huge smile on her face.
"School, remember," she reminded me yet again, looking at her surroundings. She turned away from me, calling over her shoulder, "See you later." Then she blew me a kiss. I caught it. Nauseating, I know, but I loved every minute of it. I'll say it again. She fucking owned me.
TanyaPOV
Are you fucking kidding me? Edward just walked up to Bella, grabbed her and stuck his tongue down her throat in front of everybody. Un-fucking-believable.
As if he hadn't made a big enough fool of me as it is. Flirting with me to begin with, getting my hopes up and not following through. To make it worse, I had bragged to everyone how much he wanted me. How hot he was for me.
I was only just starting to get over him declaring himself to Bella in front of our combined classes. Our students didn't know that I was included in his people who mean nothing to him list, so I thought that I could get over it eventually and win him back. After all, what did she have that I didn't? He would soon come to his senses when he discovered that she was as boring as fuck and probably had her legs superglued together at the knees. As long as we all laid low, I could have moved past it.
But this. This was unforgivable. Everyone knew now that I had been looked over, that he had chosen her over me. And I could not and would not let that happen. Someone would have to answer to me. Edward was a fool, but he was my fool and I would deal with him later.
The problem was Bella, but just how was I going to fix that. That bitch needed to back the fuck down or face the consequences. Either way, there was no way in hell that Edward and Bella belonged together, and I was going to do everything in my power to stop it.
A/N: So finally huh, they are on the same page. Only took them 25 odd chapters, but unfortunately the path doesn't look too smooth for them ahead. Who knows?
You didn't think Tanya was going to go away that easily, did you?
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