Disclaimer: This story is for entertainment only. I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

/-/-/-/

Ch. 25

An Explanation

With pursed lips, Severus scrawled a comment on an essay and placed it on the graded pile covering the corner of his desk. Satisfied, he leaned back in his chair and flexed his fingers. With his grading done, Severus now had his evening free to track down Miriam. He'd grown tired of her evading him; Severus wanted an explanation to why she was leaving.

Severus glanced at his clock. It was well past curfew. Severus stood and brushed off the arms of his frock coat as he gave himself a quick once-over. Miriam was routine oriented, so there were only a few places she could be this time of night. Severus warded his door and began the walk to Miriam's classroom. If she wasn't there still grading, he would check her chambers. If her chambers were empty, Severus would look for Miriam in the music room.

His long legs made short work of the distance, and he paused outside the classroom door to listen. Severus thought he heard a noise, so he quietly pushed the door open. Music greeted his ears as Miriam hummed a tune he'd heard years ago – something Muggle. Miriam sat at her desk, assigning grades to the scrolls piled in front of her. She glanced up from her work, and her unguarded eyes met Severus' even stare.

Miriam abruptly stopped humming and reminded herself to breathe. Severus had tried to talk with her for days and until now she successfully evaded him. With a sinking feeling, Miriam realized Severus blocked the exit. This conversation would happen one way or another. She defensively retreated to a safe spot of her mind. "Is there something you need, Professor?" Miriam asked coolly.

Severus stood silent for a few moments as he tried to gauge what Miriam was thinking. He felt nothing from her; obviously she employed her Occlumency skills. Severus' eyes narrowed as he wondered what Miriam felt she needed to hide. "We need to talk."

Miriam arched an eyebrow and returned to her grading. "You are wasting your time, I'm afraid. We have nothing to discuss," Miriam replied evenly. Severus was good at being evasive, but so was Miriam. She didn't owe him anything, especially after what happened in the greenhouse. Miriam marked her last paper, stored her quill and stood. She needed to leave.

"I've spoken to Dumbledore," Severus replied, ignoring her last statement.

"Good on you, then. So has everyone in the castle at some point," Miriam said tartly.

"When were you going to tell me you resigned? Or were you going to take the coward's way out and say nothing?"

Miriam scoffed. "That's rich, coming from you. You say less than anyone I know," Miriam added as she walked past Severus. Snape reached out to grab her hand, and Miriam spun away from him, jerking her hand out of his grasp. "Don't touch me," she hissed.

The two stood in the middle of the classroom, faced off against each other. Miriam could see Severus' hands clenched at his sides, but his voice remained level. "I think I deserve an explanation. Isn't that the least you can do for someone you once called your friend?"

"What?" Miriam said incredulously. "You want – no, no – you deserve an explanation? What about me? But it's never been about me, has it?" Miriam took several deep breaths as she tried to keep her anger in check.

Severus watched as realization crept across her face. "Of course. It never was me, it was her."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Miriam looked hard at Severus. "All this time, I thought you were my friend. But you just wanted a replacement for her. You couldn't be around Lily, so I guess you just settled, is that it? I was there, and it was convenient, even though I'm sure I fell short to your precious Lily. God, how could I be so daft?" Miriam said to herself more than to Severus.

Severus' anger flared over Miriam's accusation. "You know nothing about her," Severus hissed.

"No, I don't!" Miriam exclaimed. "Because you never tell me a damn thing! As long as you get your way, everything is fine. Well, I'm not fine!" Miriam practically shouted. "I am more than a replacement, some easy lay, or diversion in your life!" Miriam took a shuddered breath as she gave Severus a hard look before she continued on. "You want an explanation? I'm leaving because I can't do this, anymore. I can't stay here in the same castle as you, knowing you don't give a damn about me. I can't see you, make small talk with you as though nothing happened between us. I know it was never supposed to amount to anything, but somewhere down the line my needs and feelings changed. Everywhere I go, there you are. Why must you torture me so?" Miriam said as a brief look of anguish crossed her face.

Severus stiffened. He was silent for several moments before he replied. "I'm sorry my presence is such a burden to you."

"Sorry? Sorry my arse. Tell me why you dumped me, then."

Severus looked away. "I can't, though I am sorry I hurt you. Very, very sorry," Severus said quietly.

Anger flashed in Miriam's eyes. "You're sorry. Well, so am I. I'm sorry that being an arse comes so naturally to you." She took a step closer and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry I let my guard down; sorry that I thought you were different from any other wizard I'd ever known. I'm sorry that I thought you respected me enough to not treat me like some whore," Miriam spat out as she looked at Severus disdainfully.

Severus blanched at Miriam's words. "It was not my intention – I never saw you in that way."

Miriam huffed in disbelief. After a long silence, she spoke again. "I wish you and I were never friends." Severus looked at Miriam incredulously, and the witch continued on as though she hadn't seen his face. "If we were never friends, then I would have no problem treating you with the same cold disregard you have shown me. But in my heart, you will always be my friend, no matter what you have done. And there lies the problem."

Severus exhaled slowly as he stared at Miriam. She stood before him, her arms folded tightly across her chest, her gaze at a point over his shoulder. At length, Miriam spoke again. "It hurts too much to stay here; I must go. I need to surround myself with people who will uplift me, not drag my spirit down."

Severus scoffed. "You mean people like Remus? Sorry I don't uplift you by supplying you with booze and chocolate," Severus spat out. As soon as the words left his mouth, Severus realized the magnitude of his blunder.

Miriam's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed in quiet rage as she put the puzzle pieces together. A deadly silence settled between the pair, the kind that makes your hair stand on end. Severus recognized it as the calm before Miriam unleashed her hellfire temper.

"You spied on me? You spied. On me?" Severus said nothing and gave Miriam his impassive stare, which only angered her more. "How dare you!" Miriam shrieked. "You had no right! You show no regard for any boundaries, you just do as you please. Remus would never –"

"Oh spare me the virtues of Remus Lupin!" Severus exclaimed as he rolled his eyes. "What, are you shagging him, too?"

Severus heard a rush of air before a sharp, stinging pain webbed out across his cheek. The force behind Miriam's slap was so great, it caused Severus to take a staggering step back. He inhaled sharply and cradled the side of his face with his hand.

He took a deeper breath and looked at Miriam. She was breathing rapidly, her cheeks flushed and her unseeing eyes filled with a haunted anger. Her eyes focused on Severus, and Miriam stared at him as though seeing him for the first time. Her eyes widened in shock. She glanced down at her trembling hand and shrank back as though repulsed by it. Miriam looked at Severus again, and he watched as her grey eyes filled with tears. She took an unsteady step back, turned on her heel and fled the classroom.

Severus closed his eyes. That did not go well, but he blamed himself more than Miriam. Severus knew that if he hadn't ended things, their relationship would have continued on along a much more pleasant path. He had no idea that Miriam's avoidance was because she still cared, though he should have figured it out from the way she kissed him in the greenhouse. Silently, Severus once again cursed the day he took the Dark Mark. More than anything he wanted to chase after Miriam, fall to his knees and pour out his soul to her. But his poor choices were his alone to bear.

The small flame of hope he held for Miriam's friendship flickered briefly before Severus allowed a wave of deep sadness to wash over it. He slowly walked over to Miriam's chair and sank heavily into it. There was no way Severus could fix this; he didn't even know where to begin. Severus closed his eyes as a solitary tear slid down his pale cheek.

Miriam fled the castle and ran full-out across the grounds. There was no destination in mind as her boots pounded across the soil. She was running on emotion and adrenaline; how could she stoop so low as to lay a hand on Severus? Miriam flailed and sprawled face-first across the grass, her long skirt snagged on a fallen branch. Not bothering to check for injuries, Miriam scrambled to her feet and staggered to the road to Hogsmeade before taking off at a run again.

Mia ran as hard as she could, and she gasped with each breath; her lungs frozen by the frigid night air. Miriam's feet took her along a familiar path until she stopped before a small cottage. The cottage appeared dark as Miriam approached, and she hoped against reason someone was home. As she gulped in large breaths of air, Miriam rapped her knuckles against the door. She waited, her breath ragged in the still air. She began to shiver uncontrollably, and only then Miriam realized dully that she left her cloak and robes back at the castle. She knocked again frantically on the door and crossed her arms in an attempt to stay warm.

Silence. The last of Miriam's resolve crumbled and she sank to her knees on the front step. Large, hot tears began to course down her face as she remembered the look on Severus' face after she hit him. She would never forget his eyes; they had seared themselves into her mind, and she could never forgive herself for losing control. Miriam leaned her weight against the door and sobbed. She had no idea what to do.

Suddenly, the ground rushed at Miriam and she caught herself with her hands. Light washed over her prone form, and an exclamation of surprise met her ears. Miriam sniffed loudly and looked up to find Minerva staring down at her, a shocked look on her lined face.

Minerva reached down and wrapped her arms around Miriam. "Elphinstone!" Minerva called out as she helped Miriam stand. "Let's get you out of the cold," Minerva told Miriam gently. At Minerva's kindness, Miriam began to cry harder. "Shh. It's alright," Minerva soothed. Minerva guided Miriam into the cottage and firmly shut the door.

/-/-/-

Severus reached for his cup of coffee and took a drink. He felt exhausted after spending a sleepless night replaying the argument he had with Miriam over and over in his head. It would be a long day, Severus thought as he sluggishly sat down his cup. He blinked his scratchy eyes several times and gazed around the head table. There were still several empty chairs, and he had yet to see Miriam in the Great Hall.

Severus set to work on his breakfast, though he wasn't hungry. His eating merely consisted of rearranging the food on his plate. After several boring minutes, the large doors opened and Miriam stepped through, with Minerva immediately behind her. Severus stayed bent over his plate and surreptitiously watched the pair from beneath his curtain of black hair.

Miriam sat beside Minerva, a vacant stare on her pale face. She looked worn; her eyes red and puffy. Mia's usually vibrant hair was gathered in a droopy bun at the base of her neck. Minerva busied herself by piling food on her plate, then she glanced at Miriam. She frowned when she realized the young witch hadn't moved. Minerva placed some eggs and potatoes on Miriam's plate, then picked up the fork. She wrapped Miriam's hand around the utensil, and at the physical contact, Mia glanced at her hand then at Minerva. Minerva smiled gently and nodded at the meal.

Miriam frowned at her plate and gingerly poked at the eggs. She felt like a wreck, and was utterly embarrassed by the weakness she showed Minerva. A young woman shouldn't need coddled like an ickle firstie. It was more clear to her than ever that leaving was best. Severus brought out the worst in her last night, and she never wanted to chance it happening again. She would have to figure out a way to survive the rest of term while she kept to herself.

She gently took a small bite of potatoes and chewed slowly. Almost immediately, Miriam regretted doing so. Miriam reached for her glass and forced the bite down with a bit of pumpkin juice. She absently gazed out across the house tables. The students were their typical selves, coming in small groups, laughing at jokes and helping each other with last-minute assignments. Miriam's heart constricted painfully and she hurriedly blinked back the tears in her eyes.

Severus heard a chair scraping across the floor and he looked up as Miriam abruptly stood. Minerva grasped Miriam's arm, a pensive look on the older witch's face. Miriam shook her head quickly and said something Severus couldn't make out before fleeing through the staff entrance. Severus arched an eyebrow in surprise when Minerva stood and followed Miriam out.

Severus returned to pushing food around his plate as his mind attempted to prepare for the day. After several minutes, Severus pushed the plate away and stood. Pretending to eat was a waste of his time. In his office he'd find something productive. Maybe then his mind would focus on something other than last night.

He had no sooner stepped through the staff entrance when a small hand gripped his ear like a vice. Severus hissed at the pain and stooped over to alleviate it. He came face-to-face with his perpetrator and scowled darkly. Minerva returned his look and tightened her grip as she marched Severus down the hall. She turned into an empty room and shoved him through the door; Minerva only released Severus' ear once they were both inside.

Severus gently rubbed his sore ear. He was so focused on the task he failed to notice Minerva shut the door. "Whaa di'yado?" Severus frowned in confusion. Minerva's brogue was so thick in her anger that Severus couldn't understand her. Having his ear covered with his hand didn't help any, either.

"What?" Severus looked up at Minerva, exasperated. Minerva stood before the closed-door, her face pale and arms crossed.

"What did you do?" Minerva repeated slowly as she sharply enunciated each word. "What happened between you and Miriam?"

Severus brought himself up to his full height and scowled darkly at his former teacher. "That is none of your business."

Minerva scoffed. "It is when I find her in a heap on my doorstep, crying her eyes out." She noticed immediately the confusion in Severus' eyes before they became unreadable.

Severus hesitated briefly before he replied, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"Don't play with me, Severus! I've noticed how cold things are between you. Now, I have held my tongue long enough. Miriam has gone through a great deal – she doesn't deserve a broken heart. If you can't – "

"Don't tell me what to do!" Severus snarled at Minerva as he squared off against the witch. If Minerva felt intimidated, she didn't show it. She narrowed her eyes at Severus and met his gaze. Severus continued, "You know nothing about this. I know better than anyone that Miriam deserves better than me! And I sure as hell don't need you reminding me of that fact."

Miriam's eyes widened slightly before they softened with understanding. She sighed heavily. "Oh, Severus, I didn't mean –"

Severus saw Minerva move towards him and stepped around her. "Spare me your pity," he said darkly as he flung open the door and made his exit.

Minerva looked on the retreating form of her colleague. The door closed with a dull thud and Minerva shook her head sadly. If only she could spare Severus' and Miriam's hearts by having them heed to her wisdom and experience. But, they were both strong-willed; if they reached a resolution, it would be because they made it happen.

Professor McGonagall slipped through the door, and the realization struck her just how little she knew about Severus. As a student, he was very private; in his adulthood more so, and Minerva would also add rather solitary. Obviously, this situation with Miriam hit a raw nerve – Minerva couldn't remember seeing Severus this angry before. She could only hope things would work themselves out to where Miriam would stay. Minerva glanced at her watch and quickened her pace; it wouldn't do to be late for class.

/-/-

Miriam watched as the stragglers from her last class strolled out the doors. She began to straighten her desk and file ungraded assignments in her satchel. Tomorrow she was due in London for a meeting and would need her work with her since she planned to spend the weekend away. Things at Hogwarts were still too raw for Miriam to stay alone with her thoughts for three days.

"Millie!" Miriam called. The house elf appeared and gave Miriam a small smile while she waited for her instructions. Miriam handed over the satchel. "Take this to my chambers and set it on my desk." Millie disappeared, leaving Miriam alone once again. She brushed the curls away from her face and glanced wearily about the still room. The last few days were difficult, especially teaching; everywhere Miriam looked there was a reminder of the fight she had with Severus.

Miriam pursed her lips together and hastily left the classroom for dinner. At least her business in London gave her a convenient reason to disappear for the weekend. Perhaps if she packed quickly, she could Apparate to Will's tonight. Then, she could spend some extra time with the boys. Miriam's mind switched to plan mode as she made her way to the head table. She sat down and absently filled her plate with small portions. Minerva was on her about taking care of herself, especially the not eating. She promised Minerva that she would make an effort, so here she was.

Severus noticed Miriam walk in and he continued to stare as she made her way to the table. He knew the listless and pale look she wore, it meant Miriam wasn't sleeping well. Neither was he, if Severus wanted to get down to it. Ever since their argument, Severus felt as though a heavy stone was weighing down his heart.

His meal forgotten, Severus continued to watch Miriam. She half-heartedly took a few bites of her food before busying herself with picking at it. Madam Hooch said something and Miriam offered her a weak smile and a nod. When Rolanda turned away, Miriam's smile flickered out like a candle and she returned her gaze back to her plate.

A rustling of wings came from above as a large owl swooped down and circled the table. The bird landed in front of Miriam and stuck out his foot. Miriam frowned as she untied the message and the bird flew away. Miriam unrolled the scroll as her other hand reached for the soup ladle. Miriam's eyes widened and the ladle slipped from her hand. It smacked against the soup tureen, and landed on the table sending soup everywhere. All eyes turned to Miriam as the ladle rolled off the table and hit the stone floor with a loud clatter.

Miriam was oblivious to the stares as she abruptly shoved back from the table, tipping her chair over. Miriam's eyes frantically searched the table until they located Albus. Sensing her distress, Dumbledore stood and strode over to Miriam, who seemed rooted to her spot, the scroll clutched tight in her hand.

Severus stared, his brow creased as he watched the two. Miriam thrust the scroll at Albus who quickly read it. His face fell, and he gently placed a hand on Miriam's shoulder. Miriam's hand wrapped around Dumbledore's forearm as she spoke. The Headmaster nodded his head in agreement. With no hesitation, Miriam took a step back and morphed into her animagus.

Severus watched along with the other staff as the hawk flew through the ceiling beams and out into the night. Immediately, Severus' eyes went back to Dumbledore. The old wizard walked dejected back to his chair and sat. Minerva leaned forward and whispered to Albus, who in turn sighed heavily and handed the crumpled note to the witch. Minerva's eyes grew wide as she read it, and she and Albus shared a knowing look laced with concern.

Eventually, dinner conversations resumed and the scene with Miriam appeared forgotten. Severus, however, continued to replay the incident in his mind. His meal cold, Severus left the Great Hall and made his way to the dungeons. What did the scroll say? More importantly, Severus wanted to know where Miriam went.

/-/-/-/-

A/N: Oh, so much angst! I've sat on this chapter long enough and worked it out as best I could. Can two stubborn people like Miriam and Severus find a way to work through their issues? Stay turned! Huge thanks to all my readers, and a warm welcome to the newcomers that have jumped aboard the Severus/Miriam ship :)