Disclaimer: I only own Ebony, Chelly, Luis, and Stark…this is now awhile after the battle...lyrics from Natalie Merchant's song My
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm a slow dying flower
Frost killing hour
The sweet turning sour
And untouchable
CH 30 – THREE MONTHS
Time passed…it was already August, three months to the day of the end of Voldermort and the end of her world. Life went on for everyone. Chelly had moved out of her house and bought a house with Oliver in Spinnet's Way now that he was playing for the Irish in Quidditch as their Keeper. It didn't stop Chelly from still working as part of the Order, but also accepting the position of Transfiguration Teacher at Hogwart's in the fall, less than a month away.
Ebony had been given a position too. She remembered being called in by McGonagall with Chelly a couple weeks ago and going up the spiral staircase to sit in front of the old desk just like she used to, awaiting her new orders. Some things never changed she found. And the more things changed, the more things stayed the same.
"I'm sorry to contact you both on such short notice, but I felt you were the two I could trust most with these jobs," McGonagall had said.
Chelly looked eager, her hair was a lighter color with blonde highlights running through it while she sat in her light blue jeans and blue top with a dark colored blouse over it. "What jobs?"
"I'm assuming, of course, neither of you are currently working," McGonagall said.
Chelly shook her head, "No, Oliver's playing Quidditch now so that's bringing in enough money to hold us steady and I help the Order out still."
Ebony shrugged her shoulders, hunched down in the chair, feeling as dark as she looked, she gave a bitter smile that didn't reach her cold blue eyes, "My Dad's death left me with enough money to last, who knew there'd be a plus side to it?"
McGonagall winced at the words, still feeling guilty over never believing her when she had told everyone her father wasn't working for Voldermort. Ebony smiled, pleased with the reaction. Chelly fidgeted next to her, glancing at her to get her to stop.
Chelly spoke, "What did you have in mind?"
That took the new Head Master's mind off things, "Well, I need a new Transfiguration teacher, and I was wondering, Ms. Murillo, if you would be interested?"
Her eyes widened and she smiled, "You bet I would!...do I get my own living quarters this time?"
"As Head of Ravenclaw, you certainly do," McGonagall nodded.
Ebony closed her eyes and leaned her head into her hand, she knew what was coming before McGonagall even spoke. "And Ebony, I was hoping you could take the position of Dark Arts teacher…"
She didn't expect that, she lifted her head up slightly. "Who is teaching Potions?"
"Professor Stark is teaching Potions…I thought you might be interested in teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts…you have the most experience in this field than others."
She lowered her eyes to the floor. "Do…do I get the same room?"
McGonagall nodded her head, "Yes…unless, of course, you want a different room in which case I can oblige-."
"No," she cut her off. "No, it'll be fine…I'll do it."
"And you'll be Head of Slytherin."
She laughed bitterly, "Of course, I will…why not…least there's no Dark Lord I can be connected with anymore, although my Mark won't ever go away," she rubbed absent mindedly at her arm.
The Head Master nodded, "I understand, Ebony, and I will be forever sorry for what happened and for not believing you…"
She nodded her head, wanting to be angry and bitter but unable to say the words, "Thank you…I appreciate it…"
She left the room with Chelly, declining her offer on lunch and going back to her home where she stayed for the next two weeks, ignoring the ringing phone and the letters that came from various owls or the messages that tried to come through the fireplace. She had closed herself off from everyone outside, talking to very few people who dropped in and ignoring them enough with the television on that they eventually gave up and left, including George who she felt the most guilt over. She did bring herself enough to cuddle with him on the couch, enjoying his company enough to feel a bit more human only for the fact he was experiencing a pain like hers with the loss of Fred. He, unlike some, could understand her pain. He was still working with Percy and Ron now at the Weasley shop that was blossoming more than ever. He told her that Ron and Hermione were hitting it off well and were both getting jobs at the Ministry. Ginny and Harry were doing well, it would be Ginny's last year at Hogwart's and Harry was working on being an Auror. She let him know that Luis was off traveling with his new boyfriend he was apparently keeping secret for now. She showed him the two postcards she had gotten so far. One from Rome the other from Disney World in Florida.
He didn't stay long either. Just gave her the same speech of if you need me I'm here. She nodded and he left and here she sat on the couch staring at the TV though she wasn't sure what was on, didn't care much for it either. She had her legs drawn up close to her, chin resting on her knee. Her eyes drifted to her Dad's lounge chair. She let out a breath and laid her forehead on her knees. The pain wouldn't go away…it never did. She thought it would have settled by now, at least enough that she could breathe again. She thought after the funeral it would be easier. After burying him in Spinner's End right next to Lily Evans that it would be okay…but it wasn't. He was still gone and nothing would change that, nothing would take that pain from her.
There was a knock on her front door and she didn't move. Just sat there, thinking of her father, hoping the person would go away…until she heard the two familiar voices.
"Maybe she's not home," she heard Chelly suggest.
"No, she's home. Trust me, I'm her neighbor. I haven't seen her leave in weeks," that would be Stark.
"Maybe you should open the door."
"Me? You should do it."
"Why me?"
"You're closer to the door."
"You're older."
"You're her best friend."
"You're her neighbor."
"You've been through more together."
"You had a crush on her for two years."
Stark was silent with no comeback and Ebony even had to let out a little laugh and shake her head that still rested on her knees.
She heard a smack sound and heard Chelly say, "Ow! You jerk!"
"Sorry, thought you were able to foresee things, guess not."
"I'm foreseeing you being turned into a turkey, you son a bitch!"
"You must be psychic, you knew my mother was a bitch."
"Just open the damn door," she grumbled.
The door opened a moment later and she heard the two carefully walk into the house and step around the couch. She heard them shift back and forth and their whispered mumbles until Stark spoke. "Hey Ebony…how's it going?"
"How's it going?" Chelly mumbled under her breath. "Real smooth…"
"Then you try," he hissed back.
"Fine," she hissed then spoke clearly. "How you feeling?"
"How you feeling?" he criticized. "That's better."
"I don't see you-."
"You do realize I am in the same room with you two and I can hear really well, even through closed front doors," she lifted her head up to see the two looking sheepish over that conversation. "To answer your questions its going great and I feel wonderful, can't you tell? Especially today…"
Chelly nodded her head slowly, "I know…it's Snape's birthday…"
"Sure is…" she leaned her head back on the couch.
"We wanted to come see you, so you wouldn't be alone…" Stark said.
"Maybe I want to be alone, no offense…"
"We didn't think you should be," said Chelly.
"Why? Because my dad should be here but he's not because he's buried in Spinner's End and died hated by so many people until they found out the truth after his death. That he wasn't a bad guy but a hero who made the sacrifice to live his life in a huge lie except to the very few who knew him, actually knew him. Not the man he pretended to be, but the man I knew and the father I knew and loved. Is that why I shouldn't be alone?" She took a deep breath and leaned forward, putting her face in her hands to calm herself. Her emotions were starting to get the best of her again.
"It's okay, Eb," Chelly said softly and put her hand on her back.
Ebony shook her head. "It's not okay. Nothing about this is okay."
"It will be," Stark said.
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" she asked heatedly, tone as aggressive as her anger. "Why does everyone keep looking at me like I'm broken?"
"We're not treating you like you're broken," Chelly shook her head and rubbed her hand on her back.
Ebony slid out of her grasp, standing up and pacing. "Yes you are. All of you keep looking at me as if I'm supposed to fall apart any moment now. You keep tiptoeing around me, giving me those stupid smiles and asking how I am every time I move past you. And if I hear one more person tell me how sorry they are I'll curse them. I'm sick of it."
"They're only trying to help you," said Stark.
"Bugging me every time they see me is not helping."
"They just want to make you feel better. To help you in any way they can."
"No one can help me!" she yelled and even Chelly jumped and Stark took a step back. "My dad is dead. No one can fix that, no one can change it. He's gone. And I'm sorry if I can't bounce back from that. I'm sorry that I can't help anyone right now with their problems because I have my own to work through. I can't just move on from this and go back to living the way it was because it'll never be the way it was. Lupin is gone and Tonks is gone and Fred is gone."
"No one's asking you to jump back from this, Eb, or to make things the way they were," said Chelly.
"No…but everyone's expecting it. Everyone needs me to be the strong one and help them through their grief. I got over Sirius in a matter of a week, so why not move on from Snape's death in three months? He's dead and buried in Spinner's End and now I'm to teach Dark Arts like nothing ever happened and stay in the same chamber I used to share with him like he wasn't murdered and I'm supposed to live in this house like he didn't bleed to death in my arms," her voice started to crack with her emotions but she held back the tears. "Like any day now he's to be coming home…and some days when I first wake up, when I do get to sleep, I forget it ever happened…for those few minutes he's still alive…and then I remember he's not coming home ever again."
Chelly and Stark stared at their friend, feeling the stab of pain in their gut that was minimal to what Ebony was feeling. Chelly moved to hug her but Ebony stepped back, face losing emotion once more. "Just go home, Chelly," she turned her back to her, staring into the TV. "Go be with Oliver. Go be with your family. Both of you, just go."
"You need us right now."
"Right now I need to be alone," she told her. "Go be with them while you still have them."
Chelly nodded her head and grabbed her coat off the back of the chair and slung her purse over her shoulder. She paused at the door with her hand on the knob, Stark stayed put. "Take care…and don't forget, you have family too still. You have a fiancé who loves you, a Godson who needs to know you, cousins who are trying to change, and a brother who never stopped loving you. Don't forget them either. You still have them."
Ebony listened to the door shut. Even with the closing of it she didn't lose her demeanor. She sunk back onto the couch and twisted the ring on her finger as she listened to the TV drone on. Stark grabbed the remote and turned it off. "You have a way of chasing people off."
"Could have sworn I said I wanted you both to leave," she said.
He shrugged and tossed the remote back on the couch near her. "Yeah, well I never listen and you need to be less bitter to your friends. I know this is a hard day for you and we just want to help make it a little bit easier," he said seriously with a stricter tone. "We can't change anything, we can't make it go away but it doesn't mean we don't want to help take your mind off things."
"Little hard to do that."
"I know it is. But we're here for you. And in case you forgot, a lot of people are still alive because of what your father did, mainly you, okay. You're still alive because of him, so why don't you try living it and not making what he did a waste. You have family who love you and a fiancé who's waiting to marry you. Don't waste it."
She chuckled humorlessly. "Get out."
"What?"
"Just get out, Stark. You don't get it so get out."
"Get what?"
"Have you lost anyone in your family? Because I don't recall that ever happening to you but you stand here talking to me like you know exactly how it feels. See, Chelly has right too. She killed her Dad. Snape's death affected her too and she lost Oliver for an hour…so she can say it, you on the other hand never lost anyone you loved," she said coldly. "You're life has been pretty good. Got your Mum, who yeah I agree, is a bitch but you still got her, you got your brother, and your father though he lives in New York, he's alive. I'm not that lucky. So don't stand there and talk to me like you know how it feels and that you can just get up and move on because you have no idea what you're talking about…so please just leave."
He nodded his head and headed for the door but paused long enough to talk to her, "I may not have lost anyone close to me, but I almost lost you and for some reason, it feels like we're still losing you…"
The door shut behind him and Ebony sat there in silence and grief in the darkness, wondering how many more bridges she was going to burn before she was literally all alone.
O, I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
The angel sweet
Love of my life
I need this
R&R in the meantime