Hello! It's actually not Monday, but I have had this doc sitting in my doc box for months and I needed to publish it. Did some editing.

Sorry for no new chapter... my muse kind of lay down and died for awhile, and then it got up and made me start writing Ninja Turtles stuff again for the first time since, like, summer. It is also why I am wearing combat boots and rainbow socks together.

Okay, that was me.

Enjoy this. I hope I can bring you a couple more next week but it's not guaranteed.

-Love Marshmallow

It was not a good day when a horse stuck its head through your living room window.

This Tsubasa found out when the horse did, and the window broke, and he learned his lesson. Hoping things will get better usually does not work.

The horse started eating the couch and Tsubasa pushed him back out the window.

"MAL! CALHOUN BROKE THE WINDOW AGAIN!"

"Don't worry. I have the window guy on speed dial."

Outside, Ryuga shoved Calhoun out the back gate and locked it. It was probably Masamune's fault that Calhoun was in the yard. He often forgot to shut the gate.

A chastised Calhoun went to the farmers' market to see if Osias had any peppers for sale; but Tsubasa preferred not to meddle in the animals' grocery business. Osias tended to charge them more for fresh greens if they messed with his income tax papers. (Nile had found this out the hard way.)

Before breakfast, too, thought Tsubasa, surveying the broken window and shaking his head. There was no more cereal; Evelin had ate it all last night. She ate things in the night. It messed with the menu plans devastatingly.

Tsubasa had to eat grits instead. He didn't know why Mal's father kept the grits around; he supposed they reminded him of when he had been a cowboy. The grits, having an infinite shelf life, probably were bought by Mr. Hopeman's mother 20 years before he was born. He didn't know who even ate those things by choice.

But he figured it was either this or stewed goat feed, and he'd had both. Grits were the better option.

He managed to down his substitute breakfast before the little children woke up, and retreated to his room to escape from them. He didn't bother to look in the mirror.

He would later find out this was a mistake.

Yu, Evelin, and some child named Jonah barrelled down the hall inches from him and nearly knocked him down. Those kids were loud.

Hoping he could escape from little-child duty, Tsubasa hid beneath his bed.

His feet were too long.

Mal stood at his doorway and hollered at him to come get Jonah off the ceiling fan. She herself was trying to remove his brother Lad from her neck.

Tsubasa sighed and trudged out the door, riddled with dust bunnies from beneath his bed. He didn't bother to brush them off.

Removing small children from ceiling fans/chandeliers/other various hanging objects was one of the worse duties of the taller people. Ryuga had had to remove 6 different children from the basketball net in one day once.

He grabbed hold of Jonah's feet and tugged; sadly, Jonah was holding on too tight to the ceiling fan and the whole thing came down, leaving a gaping, plaster-rubbled hole in the ceiling. Mal would not be pleased. Nor would her father.

Correction: Mal's father was NOT PLEASED AT ALL.

Tsubasa turned around with Jonah and the ceiling fan in his arms to find a red-faced Samouel Hopeman in the doorway of the room.

"WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING IN HERE!?"

"I-I...Jonah climbed the ceiling fan."

"SO I SEE. WHO OPENED THE GRITS!"

"It...uh, it was...Masamune?"

"WHY DID YOU OPEN THE GRITS!"

"There was no more cereal, sir."

"There's plenty IN THE BOMB SHELTER! DON'T YOU KNOW BOMB SHELTER MEANS EXTRA PANTRY!"

So this was why Mr. Hopeman had built a bomb shelter in rural Australia.

"I'll know better, sir."

"I WAS SAVING THOSE GRITS FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION, BALDY! GET OUT!"

Tsubasa dropped the fan on the floor and hoisted Jonah up under his arm, running from the room like a possessed person.

Baldy? Why had Samouel called him Baldy?

He had no time to think, as Jacob scrambled down from his grip and raced into the kitchen.

"OWW! JONAH! GET OFF MY LEG!" He came into the kitchen to find Mal swarmed by little kids.

"What's the problem in here?"

"We got no cereal, that's what. Look out in the extra pantry."

Tsubasa left for the bomb shelter, relieved to get out of the house.

Mr. Hopeman was in the bomb shelter.

"OY. YOU LITTLE DWARFY-GUY. What are you doing sneaking up on me like that, child!? You'll scare me to death!"

"I came down for cereal."

"All there is are bricks, I don't know why. Go to the store if you want cereal. SOMEBODY TELL THAT CAT HE'S NO GREEN GROCER! THIS IS A PANTRY, NOT A GARDEN!"

Tsubasa had no idea why there were bricks there either and went down to the store for cereal.

Cindy at the counter took one look at him and started trying not to laugh. "Turn around, man, the barber's the other way!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You looked in the mirror today, Curly?" Cindy pointed him towards the large glass window in the front of the store.

Half of Tsubasa's hair was gone.

"Get to the barber before it gets worse, I'd say. Don't forget to pay for the cereal."

Tsubasa handed her some cash, took the cereal bag out of the box, and put the box on his head.

Then he hurried home to get some money for the barber shop and bury alive whoever had cut his hair off in his sleep.

Evelin looked up as he came in and screamed. "MAL! THERE IS A ROBBER IN THE LIVING ROOM!"

"It's probably just Tsubasa. Quit yelling. Did you get the cereal? WHOA! He IS the cereal!"

Mal started to wrestle the box off his head put he pulled on it resolutely. "Bug off, Mal. Who cut my hair in the middle of the night?"

"You finally noticed, huh? Bet it was one of the little kids. Evelin, get your breakfast eaten quick or you'll be late."

"I don't want to go today. I feel bad."

"You aren't just skipping school whenever you want. Get yourself on the bus."

She slapped a twenty into Tsubasa's hands. "Get your hair fixed."

"You don't have to pay for it."

"Don't worry about me. I nicked it from one of the kids' allowance money. They deserve it. Now git."

She pushed him out the door. Tsubasa clutched the box to his chest so he could see where he was going and shoved the twenty in his pocket. He nearly got stopped by some strange person in a superman costume, riding a motorbike down the sidewalk.

The girl at the counter took one look at him and laughed.

"You walk through a lawn mower last night or what?"

"Just fix it." Tsubasa put the money in her hand and sat down.

"Okay. You may not like it when it all turns out though."

"At this point I don't really care."

"One of your kids go after your hair in your sleep?"

"Yup. Not having a good day so far."

"Well at this point things can only get better."

"One would like to think so", he muttered.

After making quick work of his style, the barber's girl turned him to face the mirror. He how sported a short thick hairstyle not unlike Mal's father's.

Tsubasa sighed. "Took me years to get it that long. Oh well. It'll grow back."

She slapped him on the back as he walked past. "That's the spirit, man. Go give your kids a good talking to."

"My kids! Thank goodness they're not mine! Just some crazy friends staying at the big house down the road."

"Oh. Well then you're gonna need some good luck." She only charged him half price for the haircut, because she said he deserved the break.

When he walked in the door he found four little children lined up beside the door waiting for him to take them to school. Evelin screamed.

"A BURGLAR!"

Mal rounded the corner. "It's Tsubasa. Any time you think it's a robber it is Tsubasa, okay?"

"I'll never be afraid again", said Evelin.

Tsubasa scowled and stamped out to the car, not even looking behind him to see if the little children were following. Braelinn took the front seat and he sped off, leaving them at school as fast as possible so he could get back home and spend the day solving his haircut mystery.

He had one suspect, and one alone: Ryuga.

Ever since the laundry incident with Masamune, he had become incorrigible. It had probably been him who let the horse in the yard this morning too. In fact he was the cause of BAD THINGS FOREVER.

Tsubasa marched up to him when he got home and demanded to know why he had had to visit the barber at an unearthly hour this morning. But instead of getting the criminal evidence he had been hoping for, Ryuga showed him a video.

Tsubasa had gotten up in the middle of the night and taken scissors to his own hair in his sleep.

"WHAT!?"

"I am not lying. Samouel installed secret video cameras in this place last week because he wanted to be able to jail you people if you annoyed him too much. I like to take out the tapes and make movies of you all doing embarrassing stuff...anyway this came up. Just be glad I didn't put it on YouTube before I showed it to you."

"As if. How many hits has it already got?"

"Six thousand."

Tsubasa sat on the couch, stunned that he would do such a thing.

"Take it as a sign, buddy. It was time." Ryuga dramatically shut the computer and left.

Sorry bad ending :(