A/N: Readers, I apologize profusely for not writing until now -_- I had writers block and I started PhannieMay at the beginning of the month and then fell behind about a week ago, worked my butt off catching up and now :P Anyways though, I will try not to take a century to write again. For now, enjoy this installment.
Please don't throw sticks at me. I really am sorry for the lengthy wait.
*Then*
"Sam, please don't be angry." I called.
Her back was to me but I could tell she was warring with herself.
Part of her wanted to turn around and talk to me. But the other part of her was convinced that the silent treatment would make me tell her the truth.
"Come on, Sam. Please talk to me." I said.
She shook her head, her silence an act of defiance.
I sighed and started walking to the kitchen, planning to just wait her out.
I hadn't even stepped a foot in when she called my name.
"Danny, wait!" She called.
I turned around. Her eyes were rimmed red and she had tears streaming down her face.
"Please...just tell me the truth." She whispered.
"Sam, I can't. I haven't even told my sister all the details." I said.
"That's why I'm asking you. Please, just let me in." She replied.
I took a breath.
Truthfully? I wanted to let her in. I wanted her to know that I was hurting. That I felt so alone...
But I couldn't put her through that. I knew that she would decide to stay in Amity Park so she could be with me in my "time of need".
I didn't want that kind of guilt.
So I had to make her angry.
"No. Why the hell would I tell you anyway?"
She looked taken aback. "Because I'm your girlfriend and I care about you."
I scoffed. "Do you know how many times people have said that to me? It only takes a second to realize they're lying."
She crossed her arms defiantly. "I'm not."
"I'm so sure." I responded sarcastically.
I had to make her hurt. I needed her to go. I couldn't keep her here with me. That was too selfish.
"Danny, I don't know why you're acting like this-"
I cut her off.
"Don't you get it? I don't want you anymore." I snapped. "I mean, you were a good screw but that's it. We're done."
Her mouth fell open. "Danny…"
I crossed my arms as I felt my heart break. This was harder than I thought it would be.
This was almost too hard.
But I tightened my hands into fists, knowing I had to convince her.
"Danny, you don't mean that. I know you're going through a lot, but please. Let me in. I can help you." She said.
"You can't do anything." I snapped. "You're nothing to me. I got what I wanted from you. I was just waiting for you to leave town before I hooked up with some other girl."
She flinched like I'd made a move to hit her.
For a minute, I thought she was going to speak, but she burst into tears.
I almost ran to her. Almost comforted.
Almost.
But I looked away instead. She needed to leave. She had so much life ahead of her. I would not let myself be the dead weight around her neck dragging her down.
I would not hold her back from her life.
"You should go." I said, turning my back to her, heading into the kitchen.
I walked into the kitchen and waited about two minutes before I heard the door close behind her.
It was done. She would never want to see me again. That was what I wanted…so why did I feel so miserable?
*Now* Danny's POV:
Sam sits across from me, slowly stirring a spoon in her coffee mug.
I swallow mine slowly, letting it warm my throat as it goes down.
She looks up and I meet her gaze.
There's so much between us. So much we haven't said. So much we need to say.
I open my mouth and start to say something. Something to explain my behavior six months ago.
But I know that if I attempt to explain now, it'll only upset her. And I believe it's better if we both move on.
I have no reason to bring her back here. Especially after she was just offered that new job.
Sam exhales.
We both have something to say. But neither one of us is willing to talk. We're both waiting the other out.
Honestly? I've had a lot of practice at being silent. I could out-last her.
But she looks uncomfortable. And I'm the one who invited her here.
So I crack first.
"Sam?" I ask softly, my voice quiet.
She looks relieved that one of us is talking. "Yeah?"
I swallow hard. "I'm really sorry. About…everything."
She opens her mouth, then closes it and lets her gaze fall back down to her coffee mug. She shrugs one shoulder.
"Don't worry about it."
I exhale and prop my elbow up onto the table.
She looks up. "Can I ask you something?"
I nod slowly. I have a distinct feeling I won't want to answer what she's going to ask.
"Will you be honest with me?" She asks.
I swallow and nod. "Of course."
She slowly stirred her coffee, not looking at me. "I found some…razors in the bathroom."
My heart starts beating faster. She found them? Where? I thought I kept most of them in my bedroom.
"Sam, I…I can explain." I rack my brains for a reason why I would have razors.
She looks up.
I swallow. "Shaving."
She gives me a look. She doesn't believe me.
I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. How can I explain away what I'm doing to my body? How can I communicate to her that I'm in too much pain to not do it at this point?
She'll never understand.
Sam exhales. "Danny, I really care about you, okay? And you've always been honest with me before. But we both know that what you just said is pure bullshit."
I swallow. Like I said, I've always been able to lie to my friends and family. But not Sam. She's always been able to see right through me.
"Please. Just be honest with me." She says.
I clear my throat and take a long hot swallow of my coffee.
She watches me as I set the mug back down on the table.
"Okay. Fine. You've got me." My palms are sweaty. I can barely breathe but I force the words out. "I've been cutting myself for almost five months now."
I watch her for a reaction, praying that she won't be disgusted by it.