The Road Not Trekked: The Rising Dark

by SilverShadow1711

Thinking returning home to Nohr would be the end of her troubles was foolishness on Nerr's part. Rebellions, massacres and foreign invasions on both sides of the continent chip away at what little sanity remains to her, but perhaps there is a silver lining amidst the darkest clouds. After all, realizing the darkness holds nothing to fear makes it easier to walk through it...

25. Neglected, Resurrected

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Ch. 25- "Neglected, Resurrected"

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A/N- Okay, so as you might remember, Nerr pretty much just died in the last chapter. But... the story was being told from her perspective... So... what do I do now? ...Welp, I guess Azura has to be good for something, right? Warning- long filler is long.

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"It seems we're fearfully made and designed..."

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Azura watched the achromatic dragon scale the ramparts and drop from sight, just as Takumi had. What was she thinking? The Wall of Susano-O was more than seventy feet from the foundation to it's apex- the point they stood at was no less than fifty feet. No one could survive such a fall... She did not want to see what was left of her little brother after such a traumatic end. Gods, what had become of him? The Takumi she remembered was always prim and polished, effortlessly put together. Given who his retainer was, that was no surprise. She had seen Oboro-san on her way after Nerr, or at least, what was left of her. That had been the Nohrian princess's doing, no doubt- that or a bear had made it's way to the top of the wall. Azura didn't know what was wrong with her. Nerr hadn't been feeling well for the past few days, that much was clear, but today was beyond the pale. As the songstress sang, channeling the magic in her blood through her pendant to imbue those around her with it's radiant energy, she had see the other girl stagger around the wall, lashing at anyone in Hoshidan robes who dared walk across her line of sight. She hadn't seen Nerr actually attack Oboro-san, but that was a blessing. The closest thing she could think of to compare that behavior to happened in Shirasagi years ago, when she was just starting to get used to her new family.

She had accompanied Ryouma and Hinoka to the town square where she'd heard a loud growling noise. There had been a dog backed between two of the stalls in the bazaar. It growled as it stumbled, loosing it's footing and occasionally falling flat to the ground, only to pick itself back up and continue it's pattern. Thick white foam dripped from it's jowls, flying everywhere when it barked. Hinoka had moved between her and the dog like a human shield, but Ryouma was the one who unsheathed his blade, directing the Raijinto's holy magic at the poor beast. It yelped in agony before falling to the ground, dead, it's body still convulsing as it smoked. Azura hadn't even noticed she'd started crying until the high prince told her not to.

When animals were that sick, he'd explained, nothing could be done to help them. They would die slow, painful deaths and pass their illness on to anyone unlucky enough to get close to them. The songstress shook her head violently, wiping her tears away with her filthy gloves. There were holes in them. No, this was no time to be weak. Hadn't she sworn to protect her sister all those months ago? She was doing a poor job of it, she knew, but to even harbor such defeatist thoughts was pathetic even for her. The only reason the other princess had dragged herself onto the battlefield in the first place was because of her. She knew that. Nerr's patience for Takumi had long since run out- if that's what it took to quicken the end of the war, she would've gladly let him fall in battle. Even Sakura's misery would not be much of a deterrent; she would've justified it to herself when she could, and ignored the young priestess when she couldn't.

But Nerr was trying, in her own words, "to be a good sister" to Azura. And yes, she could be cold and abrasive, if not downright cruel at times... But there was goodness in her soul. Warmth and kindness, and love- love for everyone around her if they were sympathetic enough to worm their way into her heart. She worked tirelessly for those she loved, even shambling onto a battlefield slurring her words and barely able to stand in some misguided hope that she could talk down a man who was far beyond gone. Turning on her heel, Azura dashed back down the staircase, the water from her spells mixing with the dust on the steps to form a film of mud that clung to the soles of her feet. She could feel her heart fluttering in her chest as she ran and wished she could sit and rest for a moment.

Using the power mixed in with her blood for anything remotely offensive exhausted her. Mother had warned her about doing that, saying that only someone incredibly strong and robust could withstand the physical toll it would take on their body. The thought of training had never been agreeable to Azura. She would watch the soldiers in Hoshido hitting each other with bokto and bo, would see the bruises and gashes left as a result, and promptly walk away. No one had ever pressured her about it, either. Nohrian or not, she was a princess, Mikoto-sama had told her gently. Her place was not on a battlefield, but protected by those who's duty it was to fight. Her siblings held a similar view. How different things might've been had she remained in Nohr during her childhood, where training was mandatory. Perhaps she wouldn't be so out of breath as she made her way down the second flight of stairs.

Nerr and Takumi both had jumped off to the other side of the wall, the side leading to Hoshido proper, the side not yet under Nohrian control. As she ran, trying to ignore the cramping in her calves, Azura tried to collect her thoughts. What if they found Takumi? What then? Would Garon insist on using him as a warning for what would happen to anyone else who dared stand up to the might of the Nohrian army? How would Hinoka and Ryouma react when they found out? How would Sakura? Oh gods, Sakura... just thinking about the young princess made the singer's heart do a flip flop. It felt like she had been running for hours, though it had surely only been minutes. There were corridors that led through the wall at the base- all she had to do was find one, then get her bearings and figure out where the hell Nerr had gone. A small part of her was tempted to ask one of her Nohrian siblings to accompany her- just because she loved Hoshido did not mean the feeling was mutual and regardless of what any would-be attacker thought about her, the fact remained that she was coming with the enemy.

But at the same time, if Takumi was alive, if by some miracle, the gods had been watching over him and spared him, the sight of her approaching with Nohrians in tow would send him into a frenzy. No, it would be easier to talk to him by herself. Maybe, if he wasn't trying to kill her, she could pinpoint exactly what that malefic aura surrounding him was. She'd only felt something like that once before that she could remember, when she was a little girl. Her mother had taken her back to Valla, to one of the few remaining forests. It had been so peaceful, such a happy outing, listening to her mother's stories (but too entranced with the pretty bird song from the trees to pay much attention), until the chill came. It was as if night had fallen; the birds stopped singing, and the very air seemed to grow dark and heavy, a physical darkness, like a fog. It frightened her mother, who took her hand and ran from the forest as fast as they could go. That was the same cold, stagnant darkness that had surrounded Takumi... It seemed impossible, that anything from there could've gotten out of it's own accord.

But Azura didn't have time to focus on things from other kingdoms; there were plenty of horrors occurring within the two she was currently trapped between. She'd finally gotten out of the dank stairwell, the setting sun still bright after the prolonged darkness. Leaning against the rough bricks, the Hoshidan woman closed her eyes for a moment, trying to catch her breath. She could feel dust and grime sticking to her sweat-slicked skin like a film; she was loathe to even think of what her dress looked like. Camilla and Elise had often tried to entice her to wear more traditional Norhian clothes in traditional Nohrian colors, but she'd always politely declined. Her clothes were the one transient link to Hoshido she still had; she was not ready to exchange that for the repressed darkness of Nohr. Still, it seemed dark clothes were at least pragmatic during a war... Azura's breathing had barely returned to normal when a scream tore through the air, sending her heart jolting in her chest. Her eyes flew open, and the songstress felt her heart catch in her throat at the scene playing out before her.

In the field on the other side of the ravine, Nohrian soldiers were hacking Hoshidans into pieces... Judging by the screams and the way they writhed, trying to break free from their attackers as their limbs were shattered and ripped away, many of them were still alive. Though thankfully, not for long, it seemed. Heads were driven onto pikes, arms and legs used as clubs to beat those few still clinging to life... Some of the soldiers seemed less interested in using the bodies before them as tools of violence and fear, kneeling over or laying on top of them, rutting like animals in full view of everyone and without a care. It was impossible to tell if their unwilling partners were alive or not, but neither possibility was anything less than horrific. Loud moaning filled the air, some drawn out in pain whilst others were emitted in pure pleasure. Both were underscored by sobbing. Azura felt her hands go to her mouth, trying to stifle a scream that would not come in the first place. Never in her life had she seen anything so disgusting, so horrendous. She'd never assumed people were capable of such depravity. Cruelty, yes, hatred and pettiness and a general dickish nature, of course. But this? Surely, this was not what Nerr had in mind when she had spoken of "psychological warfare" all those months ago. No, Nerr would be just as horrified as she was, she would've charged into those monsters' midst and cut them down, made them stop-

It was in that moment that the singer remembered the task she'd taken up before the horrors brought her mind to a numbed standstill. Forcing herself to look away, Azura walked (not ran, that would look too suspicious) as quickly as she could towards the main gates of the wall, which had been broken open, the wood charred and splintered. Inside, the soldiers that weren't taking part in the slaughter and debasement were trying to set up a makeshift camp, treating their injured comrades. Many of the Nohrians fared no better than their enemies, missing limbs, trying to hold close the gashes in their sides from which their guts were leaking out... As she walked, the princess came across one man lying on a threadbare blanket on the dusty floor. Most of his skin had burned away, a few charred flakes still hanging from his arms and neck, blood and watery pus oozing from the wounds. He no longer had lips or a nose. She had to shut her eyes as she walked past, because otherwise, she wasn't sure she would be able to stop staring. The air was heavy with the stench of blood and vomit and urine; it was like walking through a hospice. She could see the door on the other side, all she had to do was pass through it...

Such a short journey seemed to take years. Normally, Azura stayed out of the way after battles; she could not do much to help, and she did not have any healing skills. Sometimes she fetched water or bandages, but normally, no one asked her even to do that. Perhaps they didn't think she was capable of dealing with such horrible things, and thought they were protecting her. They were right, she realized bitterly, as she slipped through the heavy wooden door that lead to the heartland of Hoshido. The very sight of the aftermath of battle left her weak in the knees. She had been sheltered, so very sheltered... She'd heard, too, of the "sheltered Nohrian princess" when she lived in Hoshido. She'd been disgusted, enraged, that her own father would take more care to protect an enemy pawn than her... But Nerr wasn't the one who cringed away from dead bodies, she wasn't the one who grew lightheaded when people screamed as they died slowly and in agony; no, she was the soldier. Azura was the sheltered Nohrian princess... On the other side of the wall, the screaming was fainter, the air cleaner. She inhaled deeply, and looked up, craning her head back to try and see the ramparts. She could just make out a much taller bastion, which had to be where the three siblings had had their final altercation. Unfortunately, there was a thick patch of undergrowth between her and the basic area she needed to search.

Breathing deeply to steel herself, the songstress ran forward, pushing her way through the dense bushes, wincing as nettles stung her feet and thorns cut her arms and legs. Stumbling a bit, she caught herself before she could fall completely, breaking into a run as her feet touched the rough grass once more. Her golden eyes scanned the area, looking for some sign of her brother. A scrap of cloth, his Fuujin yumi, a broken body... but there was nothing. No sign of him anywhere. How was that possible? Unless he had fallen further, but how much further could he have gone? No, there had to be a body somewhere, it couldn't have gotten up and walked away...

A quiet whimper close to the base of the wall gave her pause, and she stopped for a moment. Was it Takumi? Or another Hoshidan? Were they injured, or was it just a ruse? After her last solo encounter with Hoshidan soldiers, she was in no hurry to ever go near one again without someone familiar present... The whimper grew louder, followed by loud retching, metallic clanking, and a thud. That... didn't sound like someone setting up an ambush... Swallowing her fear, Azura continued walking forward, gasping despite herself as she came across the source of the noise, a feminine form in familiar black armor, trembling on the ground. There was a large, bloody smear on the grass a few feet away, but that seemed like a secondary revelation. Crying out in panic, the Hoshidan woman ran towards the other girl, dropping to her knees and rolling her over onto her back. Her eyes were open, but just barely, unfocused slits. Vomit stained the side of her face, sticking to her hair.

"Nerr?! Are you okay?!" There was no answer, the other girl completely limp in her grasp. Unable to think of anything else to do, Azura pressed the backs of her fingers to Nerr's forehead. She felt cold and clammy... Hadn't she just had a fever earlier that day? How could she be cold now? She had no idea. Sakura would've known what to do, even Hinoka had been trying her hand out at using staves... Looking around, the singer felt her breathing begin to quicken. The area looked deserted, but that didn't mean there weren't enemies lying in wait nearby. If she screamed, she would probably alert hostile Hoshidans to her location long before any Nohrians heard her. Maybe if she dragged the other princess, but... she didn't know what was wrong with her. Maybe she had fallen when she jumped and injured herself; you weren't supposed to move people who had fallen, she knew that much. But that was all she knew... Why hadn't she seeked out Jakob or Kaze before coming out; they were Nerr's retainers, they could be trusted... Why hadn't she thought things through? Tears burned her eyes and throat as she looked back down... All she wanted to do was help; why was that so hard?

"Help..." She whispered, hoping that, if no one else, the gods might hear her pitiful cry. "Please help..."

"So that's where you ran off to." Azura could not stop the fearful scream that tore from her throat as she jolted, looking over her shoulder at the direction of the voice. It was that man, that pirate, Shura... The one who'd turned her living hell into a nightmare. He was approaching from the same directions she'd come from, lowering his bow as he came closer. He frowned at her, the lines around his mouth carved deep.

"Are you fucking stupid? Don't scream like that; you'll alert every Hoshidan within ten miles! It's just me." That did nothing to put her at ease. Even though she knew she could do no more to stop him from doing whatever he wanted now than she could've fifteen years ago, she drew Nerr's lifeless body closer, glaring down the horrible man.

"Why are you here?" She hissed. "Come to finish what you started all those years ago? Kidnapping me wasn't enough; are you going to kill me now?" The older man opened his mouth to say something, nothing pleasant judging by his expression, but promptly closed it. He exhaled sharply through his nose.

"No. I'm here under orders."

"Who's orders? Iago's?" She wondered. She wouldn't put hiring an assassin past that dreadful man...

"No. Lady Nerr's. Ever since I entered her service, my duty has been to keep an eye on you. I thought she was being overprotective, but I get it now; you're kind of an idiot, aren't you? Wandering off alone into hostile enemy territory... And what the fuck happened to her?" Shouldering his bow, the pirate knelt down beside Azura, paying her disgust and anger no mind. Nerr ordered him to stalk her? The man who'd kidnapped her? How could she do something so horrible, how could she think that was okay? But there was no time to think about things like that, not when the woman she wanted to be angry at was growing limper by the minute. Forcing her anger aside, she took note of the healing staff tied to the man's belt.

"You can use healing magic. You can help her, yes?" Shura had been looking the Nohrian princess over, two fingers pressed to the underside of her jaw. His expression had grown darker and darker until he removed his hand, a bitter look on his face.

"No. I don't have the know-how or the skills to fix something like this."

"Something like what?" The way he'd said that made her stomach clench painfully.

"...one of my old crew mates got sick like this after he got hurt in an attack, a long time ago. His heart was going a thousand beats a minute just like Lady Nerr's... he died about an hour later. We couldn't do anything to save him."

"Well, you have to do something to save Nerr! She saved your miserable, worthless life- now, you make it up to her and save hers!" Shura looked up at her, a hint of exasperation on his otherwise despondent face.

"What do you want me to do? I told you, I can't heal-"

"Then take her inside to one of the healers that can! There's an army regiment in there full of healers; somebody has to be able to do something!" Azura had watched her mother fade away, a long, slow, excruciating death... she didn't want to watch anyone else die like that, especially not someone she cared about.

The older man knelt in silence for a few more seconds, before his eyes turned hard. He reached out, taking the other princess from her grasp (Azura was reluctant to let him, but she knew she couldn't carry another person, much less in armor) and getting to his feet. The singer followed suit, and was preparing to follow him back towards the corridor that led into the wall when Shura began walking in the opposite direction. She ran forward to stop him.

"Where are you going!?"

"I know someone who might be able to help. He has a... I don't know what you'd call it- clinic, maybe?- set up about a quarter mile from here." He stepped around the princess, his eyes darting around as he walked quickly. Azura had no choice but to follow him. "I would rather have all my teeth drawn than see him again- I might kind of owe him a lot of money- but... you were right. Lady Nerr saved my life; I owe her everything."

"Then why won't you turn around and take her inside where there are healers waiting!? She might die before you get to your... whoever!" Shura seemed to be biting back the urge to respond, quite literally as she watched his jaw work. He shook his head slightly, two-toned curls bouncing.

"Then I'll have to make sure I get there quick. You should go back, milady. People will worry if you disappear." Azura couldn't keep the scowl off her face at that.

"As if you of all people care if my presence is missed. And you're crazy if you think I'm leaving you alone with Nerr. She might trust you. I don't."

"I figured as much. Well, you need to pick up the pace then, princess." Without another word, the pirate broke into a run. By the time the singer realized that she too had to run, all she could see of him was his ragged cloak billowing out in the distance. Her legs burned as they pumped, but she pushed down her discomfort.

000

The sun had nearly completely set by the time they reached Shura's mystery healer (at least, it had set as much as it would in Hoshido). Azura had never been so out of breath in her life. Her throat felt as though she had been eating sand, and it was taking all her strength to continue standing. The place they had stopped at was a small building, half concealed by the blanket of leafy vines that grew over it. The windows were dark, and covered in bars. It looked so out of place in Hoshido, something that she would've expected to see in Nohr. Shifting his grip on Nerr's nearly lifeless body, the older man kicked the heavy wooden door several times. Azura could hear shuffling inside, and a slot opened at eye level, revealing a pair of round glasses.

"Hello? Can I help you?"

"Open the fuck up, Senno."

"What's that?" An unctuous voice that reminded her unpleasantly of Iago called out a bit louder. "I'm afraid I can't hear you over your horrible attitude, rude stranger." Breathing deeply and looking like all he wanted was to break the door down, Shura forced himself to speak in a less brusque manner.

"I have a very ill girl here. She might die. Please, Senno-san, open the door." The slot closed, but all manner of heavy clanking and loud clicks could be heard just beyond the door. When it finally swung open, Azura could see that there were locks running down the length of it. A man stood there, with shaggy dark hair, wearing dusty white robes reminiscent of an apothecary. He smirked at Shura.

"See now? Is it really so hard to show an old acquaintance a bit of respect? My my..." His gaze roamed from the limp princess to the panting one. "You certainly keep affluent-looking company these days. But I see what you mean about the dying thing; come in, come in- don't touch anything."

As both people (and their unconscious third) stepped into the building, the man, Senno, began throwing all the locks once more. Azura took the opportunity to look around. It seemed that she had walked into a library, only it was not just books lining the shelves. Though there was an impressive number of tomes and scrolls, every available surface was covered in jars and tins. Bunches of loose herbs hung from the walls, as well as other things; horns and feathers, snowy white and gleaming gold... Bunches of claws and fangs, wings of all shapes and sizes... One jar, filled with cloudy liquid, held gelatinous looking orbs. It took a closer inspection for her to realize it was full of eyeballs, their irises milky white. Recoiling in fear and disgust, the songstress backed into the owner, jumping away from him at once.

"Please, refrain from being so jumpy in my home. It wouldn't do for you to knock something over. This way, this way..." He beckoned them deeper inside, and Azura was tempted to run back out, but knew she had to stay as she watched Shura take Nerr into one of the back rooms. She could not leave her sister alone in this... this house of horrors (also, it would be almost impossible to reach those top locks on her own...). Senno was speaking as they walked, his voice echoing then growing flatter as they passed different rooms. "I must say, it's quite a surprise to see you again, Shura-san. It's been, what? Eight, nine years? You popped back into Hoshido for a spell, racked up a hefty bill, then poof! Vanished into thin air."

"Guess it slipped my mind..."

"Well, I see your slippery mind landed you in more respectable waters. Is that, or is that not, Princess Traitor herself lolling about in your arms?" Given that the men were further ahead, Azura could not see their interactions, but she assumed Shura was giving the other man a hateful glare during the lapse of conversation. "Oh, that's right, you're a Nohrian now. That's disrespectful. Well, just dump her on the table."

They'd stopped in a large room, and there was indeed a large wooden table in the center of it. Dark stains, that did not look like the natural grain of the wood, dotted the worn surface, a particularly large one in the center. The pirate gently laid down the woman in his arms. Her head fell to the side. Senno frowned, gingerly lifting an arm, before letting it fall as well. The sharp edges of her gauntlet left a deep gouge on the wood.

"So what happened to her? Snake bite? Wasting hex?"

"I couldn't tell you. She's been sick for a while, that's about as much as I know." He turned towards Azura. "What about you, princess? You talk to to her; has she told you anything?"

"...no." Shura was right, the two women did speak often, but... never about anything personal. They spoke about the situation with the army, and about how they would try to convince their siblings that their father was too dangerous to be allowed to continue ruling- and living. Once or twice, Nerr had mentioned how sick she had been the night before, complaining that she'd thrown up everything Gunther had forced her to eat... Azura had usually laughed at that. It seemed funny at the time, but now...

"She... she's had a fever for a few days. And headaches. She throws up a lot... she said it was her nerves." While she spoke, the apothecary (it was only just striking her as odd that the man was a merchant, and not a healer) had been poking and prodding the other princess, feeling her forehead, even pressing two fingers to her jaw just as Shura did. He frowned as he pulled his fingers away, giving Azura a stern look.

"I don't think you're telling me the truth, 'princess'."

"What?"

"You see, I've seen these symptoms many times before. This is the result of something getting infected, usually a wound. The infection spreads poison through the blood, which leads to death. It is a slow, painful process. I'd say this woman has been growing progressively more ill for at least a few weeks now, so let's try again; what happened?"

"I- I don't know!" The songstress wracked her brain, trying to think of what could've happened over the past month. They'd fought at Fort Jinya; maybe Jakob hadn't healed one of her shuriken wounds properly? Or maybe there had been another assassin; Nerr had a bad habit of hiding their bodies so no one would know about their attempts on her life... There were a lot of possibilities, but she couldn't know anything for certain. She shook her head, feeling her stomach sink. "I don't know..." The merchant sighed.

"Well, I suppose I can dig around a little, try and find the cause on my own. It's probably too late to do anything, but closure and all that."

"No!" The Hoshidan woman surprised herself with the force behind her words. "Don't speak so lackadaisically about this! Shura said you can help, and I expect you to do everything in your power to make her better. If you're reluctant to do any favors because he owes you money, don't worry about that; I'll pay you myself." Senno sneered at her, reminding her more and more of Iago. She wanted nothing more than to slap that indolent expression off his face.

"Is the word of royalty supposed to mean anything to me? You people are the best at putting off payments for your debts until judgment day."

"The word of royalty means I have access to the coin you want. You save my sister, and I'll see this bastard's debts are paid to you with interest." She knew she was lying through her teeth, she did not have access to any money, but she would find a way. She would be damned if she would let someone die because of greed. The merchant looked at her thoughtfully, but nodded.

"Very well. I shall put all of my considerable and superior knowledge to good use. You'll have to remove her armor, though; Nohrian armor always baffled me."

The truth was, it baffled Azura too; she had not idea how to undo the many straps and clasps that held the ebon plates in place. Shura seemed much more familiar with it, and between the two of them, they had set the black steel in a pile beside the table. Nerr's clothes were drenched in sweat, and she trembled as they stripped her of her outer shell. The last thing Azura did was pull loose the brass hairpin dangling loosely above her clipped ear. Senno, in that time, had donned an apron and a pair of long gloves. He smiled disarmingly at the pair.

"You two can wait outside; I'll probably be here a while. Oh, and you might want to close the door on your way out; these procedures tends to not be for the faint of heart. Or stomach." The songstress had opened her mouth to argue, but a firm hand gripped her shoulder, leading her from the room. Shura shut the door before she could even attempt to look back. With the actual target of her frustration now locked away, she turned instead on the pirate.

"Why did you come here? Why did you bring her here?" The man remained silent, pulling two chairs from a nearby table closer to the door and sitting down on one of them. "Don't think you can just sit there and give me the silent treatment. Answer me! There were healers not twenty feet from where we are, but you dragged Nerr all the way out here to this freak show who looks like an apothecary from hell! Why would you do that?!" Shura kept his eyes focused on the wall, rather than the princess glaring at him.

"In the absence of direct orders, a shinobi must always keep their master's best interests in mind. My parents taught me that when I was young."

"Then why-"

"Because it was the smartest option I had." He snapped at her. "Lady Nerr tasked Kaze and myself to dig into that snake Iago's affairs. Being so far away from Nohr, we couldn't find out much, but what we did learn was bad enough. He has a way of making people he doesn't like disappear, and it's no secret that he doesn't like her. Most of those healers you keep talking about are his people, the ones who were raping and dismembering the Hoshidans we defeated, not necessarily in that order. Maybe they wouldn't have run straight to him if we had taken her to one of them, maybe he wouldn't have told them to kill her, but make it look like a natural death, I don't know. What I do know is that if Lady Nerr were conscious, the first words out of her mouth would've been, 'don't let Iago know I'm sick'. She would rather take a chance than walk into near certain death."

He was right. Every word out of his mouth rang truthful. If left up to her own devices, Azura would've just brought the other woman inside to the first healer she spotted. And then what? What if they were one of Iago's lackeys, what if they didn't do anything, or just made everything worse? Such a thought hadn't even crossed her mind until that minute. Shura's voice had grown calmer.

"Senno's what you'd call a 'shade-tree' healer. He might not have formal training, but he probably knows more than most physicians. I met him a long time ago; he reattached one of my old crew's hands- sure, it didn't work perfectly after that, but it beats having a stump."

"...is that when you didn't pay him?"

"I was living hand to mouth; I didn't have enough coin for a crust of bread, much less to pay off someone else's surgery. If I'd known I would come crawling back to his doorstep for help, I might've been a bit more diligent in paying him back..." They lapsed into silence, and Azura watched him. He was looking at the door, his face tight with worry. She suddenly felt guilty for worrying about leaving Nerr alone with him. Maybe he had done bad things in the past, but it seemed like he was really trying to become a better person; she simply hadn't cared. Forgiveness did not come easily to her.

"Shura? I... I'm sorry for being so short with you earlier. I know you-" She paused as he held up a hand to stop her.

"That's enough. You don't have to apologize to me about anything, milady. I ruined your life. If you wanna hate me until your dying day, you have every right to do so. I'm not trying to earn your forgiveness, because I know I have no right to it. I just wanna do right by people now. Especially you and Lady Nerr." Azura did not know how to respond to that, so she remained silent, slowly lowering herself onto the chair beside the older man and joining him in his vigil. It was the first time since she had learned who he was that she had been in his presence without being overcome with anger.

000

It was hard to tell how long they had been sitting there. There were candles and lanterns in the building (it seemed too large and oddly designed to be a traditional house), but they never guttered, leading Azura to believe they were enchanted to burn continuously. Heavy drapes were drawn over the scant few windows, so she couldn't see the sun, though she could see roaches scurrying over the walls, occasionally over her bare feet as well. Vaguely, she wondered if anyone had noticed she and Nerr were gone yet. Were they looking for them, or had they assumed Hoshidans had captured them? Their siblings were worried, she knew that much. Camilla would probably be in a blind panic by now. Hinoka would've been too, had she been the one waiting for their return. She would've gotten on her pegasus and would be scouring the countryside looking for them...

The thought filled her with melancholy, and she rubbed her eyes. Nerr's retainers were probably worried, too, especially Jakob. It was clear his devotion was born of something much stronger than simply gratitude as he would have her believe. Her heart went out to the steward, pining for a woman who barely noticed he existed... She could only imagine how tense things must've been back in the infamous "Northern Citadel". Gunther too, she realized with a dull pang in her stomach; he was probably terrified by now, checking and double checking for Nerr everywhere, only to find no sign of her.

The singer turned over the hairpin in her hands, the brass growing warm from her touch. It had taken her a long time realize why the other princess had treasured such an obviously cheap trinket so dearly. She wondered what was going on in that room, and hoped that the Nohrian girl wasn't awake for it. She would be lonely and afraid; if Gunther were there, he would've been in the room with her, holding her hand whether she was awake or not, probably even helping Senno do whatever he was doing. The older knight was usually the one setting his young fiancé's broken bones in place while Azura was cringing and hiding behind her fingers. She wished she had someone like that, someone who loved her so dearly. Someone who's presence made her light up from the inside. She'd had a few infatuations when she lived in Hoshido, the sons of nobles who came to the castle, but they were always stamped out rather quickly.

Some of the boys already had arranged marriages (though they would've been happy to have her as a mistress, she was sure), but most of them simply scoffed and sneered at the anyan scum who dared gaze upon them. The horrible things they said about her when they knew she was in earshot, laughing about how she probably spread her legs for anyone who walked by (as was the Nohrian way) was almost as hurtful as their cold, hateful eyes. Love quickly became something bitter and unpleasant, though she still recalled the way her mother had lit up in King Garon's presence, the way she had laughed and smiled when he doted on her, happier than Azura could remember her being for so long... She wanted that kind of happiness, too.

Nerr would probably tell her she was setting her sights too high; nobles weren't all they were cracked up to be. She'd laugh and say Azura needed to find herself a nice peasant boy who could bake well. Truth be told, that actually sounded nice... The songstress was pulled from her thoughts as the door in front of her swung open. Senno stood in the frame, his apron and gloves saturated with blood. At once, both she and Shura were on their feet, the pirate speaking the words she was too afraid to.

"What the hell happened?!"

"Oh, this?" The merchant looked down at himself and shrugged. "You don't need to worry about this. The good news is, your little princess friend is alive. Just barely, but alive." Azura felt her heart grow lighter as she heaved a sigh of relief. That was all she wanted to hear. Maybe she hadn't been able to save Takumi... but at least someone was okay. She would take that victory, no matter now tiny.

"Can I see her?"

"If you want to, but you probably-"

She didn't wait for him to continue, pushing past him, too relieved to pay any attention to they way the blood on his gloves smeared over her dress. Her smile contorted into a grimace of horror as she stepped into the room. The overwhelming stench of blood hit her like a slap to the face. She hadn't smelled anything that strong since the massacre in Chevalier. Beneath the coppery tang, there was a hint of something fetid, like rotting meat. There were bowls and jars lining every surface, each of them full of thick, syrupy blood. Nerr was still lying on the table, her blouse cut open. It seemed like she was covered in dark lesions, until Azura noticed they were moving slightly. Nearly every inch of exposed flesh was coated in leeches, their slimy bodies writhing as they gorged themselves on her. The songstress could utter no words; all she could manage was a weakly squeak as she backed away, colliding with Shura. The older man was just as taken aback, but expressed his discontent quite eloquently... using every curse word she had ever heard, in both Nohrian and Hoshidan dialects.

"What the fuck is going on?! Get those things off of her!" Was just about the only properly structured sentence he uttered. Senno clucked his tongue, walking back into the room. He reached out, plucking a thick leech from the (hopefully) unconscious princess's ribs. Azura could see the ring left behind where it's razor sharp teeth had drilled into her flesh, still oozing blood.

"These 'things' are just about the only thing keeping your young friend alive, Shura-san. As I told you, when someone has an infection as severe as your princess, it poisons their blood. Normally, such a thing kills people dead if left untreated for so long, no two ways about it, but by some miracle, Nerrida-sama- that is her name, yes?- was still clinging to life when you brought her here. I could've just given up and let nature run it's course, but what a fascinating opportunity.

So I put my knowledge to work. I had to bleed her to get as much of the poisoned blood out as possible, but people generally don't live very long when deprived of blood, so I whipped up a blood replenishing potion- my own recipe, thank you very much. The leeches help automate the cycle so I don't have to keep wasting my time opening a new vein; they close unusually quickly on this one. If I'm not mistaken, she's a manakete, isn't she- the ears give it away. Utterly fascinating!" Azura had been trying not to vomit as she listened to that spiel. The sight of the leeches, still wriggling as they drank their fill, was hypnotic in a macabre way.

"So... so did you find out what was making her sick?" He had said an injury caused infections like that. She always thought Nerr healed too quickly for injuries to progress. The merchant nodded and walked over to another shallow bowl.

"That I did. Therein lies the bad news; one of you will have the supreme honor of telling your little friend she's no longer pregnant." Two sets of eyes snapped towards the bespectacled man, who was examining the contents of the bowl with a singular interest.

"...excuse me?" Senno did not bother to look up at the other man as he responded, prodding whatever the bowl held. It squished slightly.

"Come now; I did all the dirty work. You can't honestly expect me to be the bearer of bad news, too." The songstress shook her head.

"No. You're mistaken. Nerr can't be pregnant. We would've noticed."

"Are you sure you didn't take out a kidney instead, Senno?"

"Don't insult my intelligence; it's higher than both of yours. And I doubt you'd notice anything, milady; she was probably only a month or two along. Much too early for there to be symptoms noticeable to others, aside from perhaps vomiting. It probably died a week or two ago; that's where the infection came from, though what killed it is a mystery. Sometimes, these things just happen. I've seen this before in a few other women, but they usually notice something is amiss and see a midwife before it can kill them. Oh, well- I suppose if dragons had the same instincts of self preservation as humans, more of them would still be alive today. I had to remove the 'source' of infection; I'll be charging extra for the surgery."

Azura said nothing, simply looking back at the woman laying on the table. She was so pale and limp, it was hard to believe she was even alive, but she could see the faint rise and fall of her stomach. She also noticed the scar there, a five or six inch gash just beneath her navel, neatly sewn up with black thread. Why hadn't she said anything? She always complained about Azura not being honest with her, but it was clear now that distrust ran both ways. Was she getting back at her for not being forthcoming in the past, or was this another one of those things she didn't want to "burden" people with? Maybe she just felt it was a private matter, and thus, none of Azura's business (not that she seemed to care about keeping things "private")... Still, she couldn't help the pang that came with knowing Nerr didn't trust her- was this how the other woman had felt when they were in Valla, when she had screamed about betrayal? Senno was still talking, but she didn't want to listen to him; the cold, detached way he spoke made her sick, as if he were speaking of a chunk of meat left in a snare too long rather than a person. She almost managed to block out all of his words until one sentence caught her attention anew.

"As soon as you pay me, you can take your friend and get out. That'll be twelve thousand, and no, I don't accept credit anymore."

"What?"

"What do you mean, pay first, then she can go? She needs to rest, somewhere that's not on a bloody slab!"

"Well, I was going to suggest the same thing, but then I remembered that you're a sonuvabitch who's good at skipping out on payment for services rendered." Shura stepped forward- he was quite a bit taller than the other man, and looked much more intimidating.

"And if I just take her and go? What are you going to do about that?"

"Absolutely nothing." The merchant said with a cruel smile. "Remember what I said about making my own blood replenishing potions? And how people don't live long without their blood? Go ahead, walk out that door with your little princess slung over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes; I will do absolutely nothing when her body shuts down and she dies in your arms five feet away from my front stoop. Let's see how welcome you are in Nohr then."

"That's enough." Azura spoke with gritted teeth. That anyone could be so cold, so greedy so as to put coin before a person's life... That such a person could hail from Hoshido... it was too horrible for words. "I will go and get your payment. Shura will stay here with Nerr."

"Lady Azura, no! You can't go back alone, it's dangerous! There could be Hoshidans lurking about."

"Well you certainly can't go." She looked up at the older man, trying to sound braver than she felt. Nerr made that whole "acting the way people expected you to" thing look easier than it was. "You already tried to rob us blind once. If you went back to camp and anyone saw you sneaking away with a bag full of money, you'd be executed on the spot. Then where would we be?"

"But-"

"No buts. I've made up my mind about this. You're Nerr's retainer, so stay here and retain her. I'll be back shortly. And you..." She turned towards Senno, disgust turning down the corners of her mouth. "You'll get your blood money. And once every coin is in your greedy paws, if anything happens to my sister, I will come back and personally make you inhale them." She had been spending so much time with her Nohrian siblings that even their colorful threats were rubbing off on her. Fortunately, it seemed that their threatening demeanor had taken root as well, for the merchant actually backed a step away from her. Exhaling sharply, she gave Nerr one last look, and walked out the door.

000

There had been a naginata by the door that she had used to slip the last two deadbolt locks she could not reach, and she had opted to bring it with her, rationalizing it in her mind that she would bring it back, so she was just borrowing it. Senno shouldn't have minded; after all, if she had fallen victim to bandits on the road, he wouldn't get his money. She knew she would not be able to do much if she were accosted, but hopefully, she could injure someone enough to buy herself some time to escape. The journey back to the Great Wall seemed much longer when she was making it alone.

Every shadow looked threatening, every noise made her heart thunder in her chest. She had never dreamed that Hoshido could look so hostile and uninviting. She hated it. She hated it so much. She missed going outside and relaxing, taking in the scenic views and natural beauty. She missed thinking the best of the people, her people, believing there was no way they could be as cold and terrible as the monsters who populated Nohr. The world used to not be frightening. Bad things happened, but she was always protected and happy and loved. Now, even though she knew she was loved by her Nohrian family, it seemed that the bad things followed them so closely, there was no way to be protected from them. She wanted to go back to the way things were before... Sniffling, Azura wiped the moisture threatening to leak from her eyes on her arm. There would be time to feel sorry for herself later. She needed to get back to camp now.

The majority of the Nohrian soldiers had settled within the defenses of the Great Wall by the time she finally returned, and it seemed that the area on the other side had been secured. None of the soldiers paid her any mind as she returned, and the songstress made an effort to sneak through the shadows as best she could so as to avoid her siblings. She wanted to let them know that both she and Nerr were fine, but then they would start asking questions and hold her up, and they probably wouldn't let her return, either. She knew they would only try to help, but their methods were so heavy handed... They'd cause more problems than they'd fix. Just like she usually did, she noted bitterly.

The war chest, it seemed, was not nearly as well guarded as she assumed it would be. Perhaps everyone simply knew that if they were caught stealing from it, they'd be brought before the king and executed. If she were brought before the king... hopefully, he would buy a story about her needing personal items... Ripping the frayed, dirty hem from her dress, Azura crafted a makeshift purse, prying open the chest and grabbing a few handfuls of coins. She didn't want to rob the army blind; they had to buy medicine and food with that coin. Nor did she have time to count out an exact amount. It seemed like she had gotten plenty, so she closed the chest and knotted her crude bag. Casting a furtive glance around, she ensured no one was watching her before getting up and creeping away. As she stepped back out into the night, it seemed like she had made a clean getaway. If that was what it was like being a thief, it was nerve wracking.

"Lady Azura." A deep voice behind her sent her heart into a frenzy, and she nearly dropped her purse. Forcing herself to breath, she turned around, an audible sigh of relief escaping her lips as she saw Gunther standing behind her.

"Oh... Sir Gunther, you frightened me."

"Not as much as you frightened everyone else by running off without a word, I'm sure. But enough about that; I'm not here to chastise you. Where is Nerr?"

"Nerr?"

"Don't tell me you don't know where she is; I saw you going after her on the bastion! You came back, but she never did, so where is she?!" Even though she knew his anger was born of worry, that did nothing to make it less terrifying. The singer cowered slightly.

"She's safe."

"Where!? Where is my wife!?" That was the first time she had ever heard the word 'wife' from either of them; they usually skirted around proper terms like that, saying 'fiancée' or 'betrothed'. She felt her heart bleed for the man before her as she looked into his glaring eyes, not filled with anger, but a soul crushing fear.

"...I'll take you to her. But we have to hurry- it's a long walk, and people will really start questioning her absence soon."

"...then we won't walk. I hope you aren't afraid of horses, milady." Azura barely had time to answer before Gunther turned away, telling her to wait by the outskirts of their camp. He returned, leading his steed by the reins. Even without the steel plates of barding, Caractacus was a massive animal, nothing like the lithe pegasus she was used to.

Without a word, the knight grabbed her around the middle, lifting her up onto the saddle as though she barely weighed a thing before effortlessly climbing up behind her. She had barely been able to mutter the general direction she had come from before he snapped at the reins with his right hand (his left held a silver lance that looked like much better protection than her naginata), setting the courser into a gallop. Azura was not afraid of horses, but she was definitely afraid of the jarring rhythm of a full gallop. Pegasi moved gently and gracefully, regardless of their speed. The few times she had even ridden a wyvern with Camilla, her body had been able to adapt to the motions. This? She felt like she would fall off at any moment and be crushed under the steed's hooves. Closing her eyes for a moment before she realized that only made everything worse, the princess gripped the edge of the saddle tighter, her knuckles stark white against her skin. Shifting his grip on the lance, Gunther put his arm around her, keeping her relatively still. At least she didn't feel like she'd fall out of the saddle anymore.

She had to admit, she could see how Nerr would find situations like this romantic... It would've been nice, though, if she could share such a moment with someone who's focus wasn't entirely on another woman, riding a less wild animal to a location that wasn't a scene torn from her nightmares. The one positive aspect of the knight riding hell-for-leather was that they reached their destination in about five minutes, as opposed to the nearly twenty it had taken before. Caractacus had barely slowed to a trot before Gunther jumped down, though he brought the horse to a complete stop before helping Azura back to solid ground. His face was a mask of concern and confusion as he took in the strange building.

"What is this place?"

"I think it's an apothecary. I'm not sure, honestly. All I know is that the greedy dastard who lives here helped Nerr and he wants his money." She took a step forward, but was stopped by a heavy hand on her shoulder. She remembered that giant of a man who had effortlessly picked the suit of armor off of her when she was five; even though she had grown since then, he still seemed as big as he was in her memories, only now it was fear with which he looked at her, not pity.

"Lady Azura, tell me; what happened to Nerr?"

"She's alive." She had hoped her evasive answer would be enough, but had known that it was not.

"That tells me very little, milady. She can be in a coma but 'alive'. She can be on the brink of death but 'alive'. What happened? Why did she wander off and not tell anyone? I tried to keep an eye on her, but I was cornered by those Oni demons, and the next thing I knew, she was gone..." His voice trailed off in a despondent whisper. Azura swallowed to try and loosen her throat. Gunther already sounded torn up about all that had happened; she would hate for him to hear the story from someone as cold-hearted as Senno.

"...She was looking for Takumi. He jumped off the wall, and she turned into a dragon and went after him, so I went after her. She was lying on the ground. She wasn't moving. She's been sick for a while, you know that. Shura showed up and said he knew someone who could help her- he didn't trust any of the healers that came with Iago, and I don't blame him. So he brought her here. This man, Senno, he made her better. I don't have the stomach to explain how; you'll see enough of that when we get inside... but she's alive. That's all that matters." Turning away from him, Azura pounded on the door, waiting for someone to come and undo all the locks again. Gunther was tying Caractacus to a nearby tree, she could hear his armor clanking as he moved.

"But... Why did she get so ill? Nerr has only been this sick once before in life- how did this happen again?" She pounded on the door again; she could not hear the locks rattling yet, and desperately wanted something to distract her from the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She could hear the older man walking to stand behind her. How Nerr did not find his presence overbearing was beyond her. "Milady-?"

"She's not pregnant anymore; that has something to do with it." She regretted her tone coming out as short as it did the moment the words left her lips. Only seconds ago, she had been thinking how terrible it was to hear such a thing in a cold manner, and she had done the exact same thing. She felt terrible as the man behind her lapsed into silence. The clicking of locks on the other side of the door did nothing to distract her now.

"...but she's alive?"

"Yes."

"...that's all that matters." If he had yelled at her, or called her out for her curtness, Azura would've felt slightly better, but that quiet disappointment was unbearable. Nerr had confided in her about that once, lamenting that his quiet acceptance of the horrible things she said sometimes was the worst thing of all. She resented him for guilt tripping her, but hated herself even more for making him do it, she'd said. Azura had thought she was over reacting, but now she understood. The door finally opened, Senno standing there. His eyes went at once to the knight behind her, and he paled slightly.

"...you've brought reinforcements, I see."

"No. This is the husband of the woman you're trying to use to extort us. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to check on my sister before I hand you your money." She shoved her way forward, heading straight for the back room, assuming that Gunther was following her. The smell of blood was still strong, even though the bowls had been emptied. Nerr was still lying on the table, though she was covered by a long, dirty, olive green cloak. The songstress could see her shivering. Shura stood beside her, holding her hand loosely. He immediately grew defensive at Azura's arched brow.

"She woke up after you left. She asked me to hold her hand. I know she was out of it, but what was I supposed to do; say no?" Regardless of whether that story was true or not, she was glad someone had been there to comfort the other princess. Shura's eyes narrowed as heavy armored footsteps entered the room, and he looked up, regarding the other man with barely concealed contempt. Gunther didn't notice, or else, didn't care, as he looked down at the young woman shivering in the middle of the room. Leaning his lance against the wall, he approached her, brushing the hair from her face. Senno stood in the door frame, surveying the scene with a bored look.

"Isn't this touching? I gave her another potion whilst you were gone, princess, and replaced the leeches, so she should be good to go in about five more minutes. I'll give you another potion for the road, but first there's the small matter of my... ahem." He cleared his throat, apparently not too keen on speaking of reimbursement as openly in front of the tall, grizzled knight bent over his patient as he had been when it was just the others. Slowly stepping away from the table, Azura thrust the coin filled pouch into the other man's hands.

"There. Taken straight from the Norhian war chest."

"Oh princess, I don't care if you stole it from orphans or if it was donated by the wealthiest nobles in the land; I did a service, I deserve payment." He hissed at her under his breath, laying the purse on one of the counters to open it, and counting the coins inside. "Do you think cutting dead meat out a person is easy? Do you think the ingredients needed to magically refill someone with blood come cheap? I brought your sister back from the dead; the only greedy person here is you for thinking I don't deserve to eat after that." He scowled and stopped counting. "You're two thousand short."

"What?! I grabbed handfuls!"

"Then you didn't pay attention to how much each coin is worth. You're two thousand short. Either she stays here while you go back and get the rest, or she leaves with half as much blood as she needs to live." Azura felt her hands ball into fists. She had never been so tempted to punch a person in her life as she was right now... As Senno spoke, Gunther had straighted up, walking back to where he had left his lance and taking hold of it once more. The Hoshidan girl barely had time to move out of the way before he swung it, the blade stopping a hair's breadth from the merchant's glasses.

"This is Nohrian silver, forged with the finest rubies our mines have to offer. If you can't get at least three thousand coin for it, you don't know the right people." The Hoshidan man forced himself to speak through trembling lips.

"Th-this is how you're settling the r-rest of your bill?"

"Is this not good enough for you?" The older man snarled, and Senno shrank back.

"It's fine! It's fine! Consider your bill paid in full and, um... Shura? Your debt is settled, too. I'm going to go... fix that potion... and take this away before I end up impaled on it..." He tentatively pulled the lance from Gunther's grip, stumbling a bit under it's weight as he carried it from the room. Azura looked up at the older knight, who was watching the other man's departure with a dark look on his face.

"...you shouldn't have had to do that..."

"No, milady. You shouldn't have had to pilfer coin from our war chest to take care of my betrothed. I apologize wholeheartedly for putting you through that, but you have my eternal gratitude for doing it nonetheless. You as well, Shura-san," He looked back at the pirate, who was still glaring at him. "I won't ask how you know such horrible people, but thank you for taking care of Nerr in my absence."

"Go to hell." The Hoshidan man spat in response, his dark expression not abating as he looked back down at Nerr. It didn't go unnoticed by Azura the way he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, nor, she was sure, did it go unnoticed by Gunther. Regardless, he remained silent.

It was well and truly night when they finally left for good, heading back to their new base at the Wall of Susano-O for the last time. Azura declined Gunther's offer to ride along with Nerr on the way back, truthfully admitting she would probably be too afraid of falling off herself to keep the other woman from hitting the ground. Besides, she thought as she watched the older knight climb up behind his beloved, she knew those were the arms Nerr would prefer having wrapped around her. The Nohrian princess had regained consciousness when they had strapped her back into her armor, but was constantly slipping in and out of it. She hadn't seemed remotely bothered to learn what had happened, more concerned that they had lost Takumi than with the fact that she had lost a child, but the singer was sure that was just fatigue. The reality of everything would hit her later, when she could remain awake for more than a few seconds at a time. She kept pace with Shura, feeling surprisingly at ease with her former kidnapper. At the very least, she didn't think he was going to snatch her away now. He was so busy glaring at the retreating silhouette of the figures on horseback that Azura wasn't sure he even noticed her. She knew that expression; she usually saw it written all over Jakob's face.

"Are you alright, Shura?"

"I'm a seething mass of hatred, milady. Other than that, fine."

"Do you really have any right to resent someone who's just suffered a tragedy?" He looked down at her, his brown eyes black in the darkness.

"I would never resent Lady Nerr."

"I meant-"

"I know what you meant. Should I feel more sympathy for someone who's arm was torn off by someone else, or someone who cut their own arm off? As far as I'm concerned, Lady Nerr is the only victim here. That- that deviant is the one at fault for all of this! Some people just need to learn to keep it in their fucking trousers!" Well, that seemed exceedingly harsh. Azura frowned slightly.

"I doubt that was a conscious decision on his part. You can't blame someone for wanting to be... intimate with the person they love..." She felt the color rise in her cheeks ever as she whispered it. How Nerr could be so flippant about such things was a mystery. Shura, in contrast, grew more livid in his rage.

"I can and do. Lady Nerr almost died today, Lady Azura. That son of a bitch almost killed the only person who ever gave the slightest damn about me. Without her, do you think I'd have a place in this army? No! I'd be right back where I started, only worse because then, I'd really be alone. Serving Lady Nerr is literally the only thing I have right now; I will never, ever forgive the sack of shit who nearly took that away from me."

The songstress remained silent even after he finished ranting. Jakob would probably say the same thing, word for word. She wondered what it would be like to have someone so devoted to her that they shunned the rest of the world. Honestly, it seemed like a burden; she didn't think she could ever live up to that kind of love. Still, it was a nice thought, at least for a little while. Something other than fear and sorrow to fill her thoughts as she trudged back to camp and the horrors awaiting her there.

000

POV change

000

Nerr felt as if she were floating in a void, time flowing around her like wind or water; touching her, but not affecting her. She could remember things happening, flickering images and sensations that seemed to fade away if she tried to focus on them directly. Instead, she had to think of them in passing. She remembered looking for Takumi, stumbling around the base of the wall of Susano-O. She had been so ill, every breath, every heartbeat bringing her closer to death. She remembered pain, a sharp agony in her belly that reminded her of getting attacked in Shirasagi. Someone was cutting her open, digging their hands around inside of her. That was where the baby she was supposed to be growing was- had she killed it, running around while she burned with fever and got shot and stabbed? She couldn't open her mouth to tell them to stop, she was awake and felt what they were doing. She couldn't even open her eyes, but eventually, she found herself back in the void.

She had been able to open her eyes the next time, and a blurry figure had been standing over her. Her first impression was that it was Gunther because he was always the one looking down at her when she woke up; she wanted it to be him, but she could just make out a halo of stark white hair. Shura had said something to her, she recognized his gruff voice, but hadn't been able to make out the words. Blinking took more energy than she had to spare, but she managed to rasp out an entreaty. Gunther always held her hand when she was ill- she wanted that now. Shura's hands were large and rough, too, but they were not as warm. Still, it had been enough to lull her back into the darkness where she remained in a half living state for an uncertain amount of time. It was impossible to tell if seconds or days were passing. It was hard to even be sure if she was actually alive.

When next her eyes opened, she did not dwell on philosophical quandaries, instead focusing her efforts on regaining control of her body, be it physical or not. She felt so weak still, as if her body was full of lead, to the point that she couldn't even move her fingertips. She managed to open her eyes, though, and as she waited to regain motor function, she lay wherever she was, breathing steadily and trying to pinpoint exactly where it could be. It was very dark, so it must've been night, and as her eyes slowly adjusted to the absence of light, she could make out the canvas ceiling of a standard issue Nohrian tent. So she must've been in camp. How she got there was the question, but it did not matter too much. Nerr was just grateful she hadn't been left to rot in a ditch somewhere. Bolstered by this new knowledge, the princess tried once again to move her fingers. It wasn't that she couldn't, she knew that, it was just that she was too tired to. But that was no excuse- she wanted to move, dammit, she could rest later. Slowly, she managed to ball her fingers into a weak fist; she would be punching no one like that, but it was a start. Breathing deeply, she raised a shaky arm, pulling the blanket from her torso. Never had such a simple movement taken so much effort. She could feel her heart thudding against her chest, the blood pulsing in her ears deafening. All she could do for a while was just lay there, breathing hard, and wait for her pulse to return to normal.

As the whooshing in her ears subsided, Nerr became aware of another sound. This one was fainter, or perhaps, just harder to hear over her own breath. It sounded like... like a quiet sniffling. It only just occurred to her that, while she knew technically where she was- in a tent- she did not actually know where she was. Maybe she was in the medical tent? That would explain the sniffling- she had seen many soldiers wounded during the battle. Perhaps someone was lamenting the loss of a limb or eye. But, as she tried to focus on the sounds, she realized that it was too quiet to be a medical tent filled with dozens of injured soldiers; there would've been groans and whimpers and snores, not to mention the fetid musk of unwashed bodies and blood. She definitely smelled blood, but it was her own (her blood, she had come to realize, had a slightly sharper tang than other people's), and the only sound was still that strange sniffling. Inhaling deeply, and steeling herself as if she were readying herself to run through a fire, the princess rocked slightly to build momentum and rolled into a somewhat seated position. At once, the blood rushed from her brain leaving her lightheaded, but as her vision swam, she tried to look around.

When the world stopped spinning as fast, she could make out familiar items like her chest and some of the magical tomes she'd been lent to practice with. So she was in her tent, which meant the only other person there with her would've been Gunther. Now that she knew what she was looking for, she spotted him easily, to the point that it seemed odd she had glanced right over him. Perhaps simply because the figure huddled on the ground by the front of the tent didn't seem like her betrothed; she'd never known the knight to ever have posture anything less than perfectly straight, after all. Nerr desperately wanted to walk over to him, to ask him what was wrong, what had happened, but despite the mind being strong, it seemed her body was still quite weak. She had no hope of getting her legs to fully cooperate and certainly didn't want to stand only to topple back over, so the princess half crawled, half dragged herself over to where her fiancée was seated.

The closer she got, the louder the sniffling became, and when she was only a few feet away, she realized that his broad shoulders were shaking. It was easier to believe he was trying to suppress laughter, because the thought of her brave and valiant Gunther crying seemed like one of those things that went against the natural order of the world. Her retainer did not cry, just as rain did not fall up and time did not flow in reverse. And yet... as close as she was, that sound was unmistakable; how many times had she heard that same pathetic sniveling from her own mouth? Her first instinct, of course, was to ask what was wrong, but even as the thought formed in her mind, the answer formed with it. She could still feel the soreness on her stomach. There had only been one thing he'd been excited for and happy about, and she'd gone and destroyed it. Trying to wet her lips, a difficult task when her tongue felt dry and cracked, Nerr called out to him, unable to raise her voice above a weak whisper.

"Gunther?" The way he tensed at the sound of her voice gave her an indication that he hadn't heard her approach; had she been an assassin, he'd be dead by now. Still, he did not turn to face her as she was expecting.

"What are you doing out of bed, Nerr? You shouldn't even be awake, you need to rest." The words sounded familiar, but the tone, a choked whisper as faint as her own, sounded like it belonged to a stranger. Feeling her chest tighten, the princess shuffled forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind and resting her forehead on them. His breathing was almost as familiar as her own; it hurt to hear it so unsteady.

"I'm sorry, Gunther."

"Nerr..."

"This is all my fault. I should've been more careful. I know how much you wanted a family. If I had been more responsible..." She let her voice trail off. The truth was, she doubted anything she could have done would've had an impact in the future given her ultimate plan, but she felt that was the right thing to say. The older man remained silent for a while, but she could feel something warm splashing onto her arms. She wanted to do something to comfort him, but she was so tired, his warmth was tempting her to fall asleep once more.

"No..." A quiet voice, tight with tears, reverberated in her ear. "This is no one's fault but mine, Nerr, because I am a selfish person."

"No, you're not-"

"I knew something was wrong with you." At this, Gunther finally did turn to face her, just enough that she could see him. It was hard to make out too many details, as tired as she was, but she could see where tears had been running over the creases and furrows of his face for quite some time. "I told myself nothing could be wrong because there would be signs, but I know that's not true. The moment you began getting ill, I should've dragged you to a healer, but I didn't because I didn't want them to say it was the baby, I didn't want Prince Xander to find out and convince you to do something drastic... I was willing to put your life on the line for a foolish pipe dream... I'm a monster..."

He quickly turned away from her once more, but Nerr had seen the new surge of tears well up in his eyes, and could feel them on her arms once again. She tightened her grip on him. Maybe she should've been upset that he'd just admitted that having children was more important to him than her life, but at the moment, all she could focus on were the quiet sobs jolting through her. The sound made her feel sick to her stomach- she just wanted to make him feel better so it would stop.

"You put too many expectations on yourself, Gunther. You can't predict everything. Things like this just happen. Besides, it's natural for men to want children; someone to carry on their name and legacy..." She paused for a moment, an odd thought striking her. "Honestly, I'm surprised you don't already have children." At once, the quiet weeping stopped. She should've been grateful, but it had stopped so abruptly... "Gunther?" The way he tensed in her embrace, even her shoulders hurt.

"Nerr? ...I haven't been completely honest with you..." Oh no... Her stomach sank to the floor. "Do you remember when I asked you how you would feel if I betrayed your trust?"

"Are you telling me whatever this is now because you know I'm too sick to slit your throat?" The princess spat at him. She already had an inkling of what he was going to say, and she was not pleased. Gunther shifted to face her completely. In contrast to her ire, he seemed more despondent than ever.

"No. You deserve to know the truth, and I fear if I don't speak now, I never will. If you wish to kill me afterwards, I'll stay put until you're well again." Well, that certainly didn't sound like the reaction of someone hiding an illegitimate love child to her. Confusion, frustration and fear all came together to drain her what little energy she had left. As she slumped against the older man, she was tempted to tell him his sordid secrets could wait until morning, but he stopped her by climbing to his feet, wrapping one arm around her back while the other went under her knees. Suddenly, the ground was no longer beneath her. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her. Granted, it wasn't more than five feet from where they had been to the cot, but she was still in shock as he gently laid her down.

"I thought I was too big for you to carry anymore..."

"You mistake me for someone much more decrepit, my lady. I'm not going to make you drag yourself back to bed as ill as you are; I simply didn't want you thinking you were still entitled to piggyback rides." Despite her best efforts not to, Nerr smiled slightly at the memories his words brought back. Settling beside her, Gunther drew the blankets up to her neck. It reminded her painfully of when he used to read her bedtime stories. She wished to go back to that time, when there was no war, or death, or sorrow... but judging by the look on his face, sorrow would be the main theme of this story.

"So... What horrible things are you going to confess to me?" The knight sighed deeply, looking down at his hands. Following his gaze, Nerr could see he was running his nails across the back of his hand, drawing raised red marks amidst the older pink ones.

"I don't think it's horrible in and of itself, but... I wish I hadn't kept it a secret from you. The truth is, this is another one of those things I'd planned on taking to my grave, but it's also the closest thing I have to justification of my selfishness."

"You're not on trial, Gunther." She said shortly. "The more you say things like 'justify', the less I'm going to like what you have to say. Just tell me what it is." Glancing over at her, the older man inhaled deeply.

"You aren't the first, Nerr."

"...The first what? Woman you've gotten pregnant?"

"Yes, but... it's more complicated than that. You see... I was married once." Nerr's mind, tired as it had been up until that point, went blank. Married. Before, to someone else, someone who wasn't her... "I had a wife... and a son... We were so happy..." The pained wistfulness in his voice made her want to vomit, but a morbid curiosity spurred her to speak.

"What was her name?"

"Michaela..."

"...Isn't that-" She could not continue her sentence, though she knew he was aware of what she had been planning on asking. That was one of the characters from her favorite story, a pure-hearted maiden who captured the hearts of everyone who laid eyes on her, as beautiful as she was kind... exactly the kind of person Nerr would've pushed into a slop bin in real life. Gunther nodded, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Yes, she was named after the character from 'The Prideful Princess'. Her mother loved that story. In fact, Michaela was the one who taught it to me." So... her most beloved memories, of curling up beside him while he recited the tale of a poor princess she so related to was all thanks to his first wife, his better wife, the one who had given him a son, apparently.

"...she was probably beautiful. She'd have to be, with a name like that; parents wouldn't name their kid after one of the most beautiful women in literature if they were ugly."

"Nerr-"

"So. Why did you leave her? Did you get bored? Meet someone else who made you feel like every love poem was written for you?"

"No." His voice was sharp, though the misery on his face was shown clearer than before, carved deep into the lines on his face. "I didn't leave anyone, Nerr. She was murdered."

"Huh?" Gunther nodded grimly, focusing his attention away from her once more.

"Michaela, and our son, Christoph... and our parents and my sisters and their husbands and their children and everyone else I'd ever known..." Nerr stared up at him in blank shock. So many people; how could that be possible?

"What? I don't- how?"

"You remember when we journeyed to the Infinite Chasm, yes? Those ruins we passed?" The 'dead lands', as he'd bitterly referred to them as. Her heart sank.

"That was-"

"That was what was left of my village once King Garon and the Nohrian army were through with it, my lady. As you could see, we were situated quite close to the Nohr-Hoshido border. The king believed we were sympathetic to the Hoshidans, that we were gathering intelligence for them or some nonsense... Žaložnica was home to farmers and laymen, people who'd never seen an actual Hoshidan. But once Garon got something in his head, the gods themselves could not dissuade him." Gunther's eyes darkened as he looked back into the past, his hands balling tightly into fists, the scars there standing out against his skin. "I had been in the forest, cutting wood for winter, when I smelled smoke. I thought one of the houses had caught on fire- the mill had nearly burned down a month ago- but when I got back... It was like stepping into Hell.

The soldiers chased people down to slaughter them, women and children begging for their lives, my neighbors, the people I'd grown up with... It never even crossed my mind to try and help anyone, but even if I had, I wouldn't have been able to do anything- I was a huntsman, not a soldier... I just ran home, praying the whole time, but when I got there... they were already dead. Both of them, laying in the burning ruins of our home." Nerr felt as if she had swallowed something that was blocking her throat. Yes, she knew her father was a monster who killed for the flimsiest reasons, but wiping out a whole village for nothing more than a rumor? That was despicable, even for Garon. But the indiscriminate slaughter raised another question.

"Didn't they try to kill you, too?" The anger and misery playing over Gunther's face intensified as he scowled at the tent flaps.

"Of course. Two soldiers dragged me from my home as I wept for my butchered family. I killed them both, with one of the their own axes. And that's when I saw him. My king. If ever the devil existed, he was standing there before me that day. He grinned at me, as if what he had wrought was amusing to him... I tried to kill him, too." He looked over at her, apparently mistaken her surprise at his nerve for shock at his treachery. "Surely you don't blame me for the impulse, Nerr. I was young, and foolish. The consequences of my actions were the farthest thing from my mind at the time."

"...I blame you for nothing, my love. I'm just surprised you're alive to tell the tale; it seems death favors you..." Bitterness crept back into his voice.

"I would've rather preferred death claimed me as it did everybody else. I actually struck him, the king. I knocked him to the ground. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands, but another group of soldiers pulled me off him and tried to stomp me to death. One of them tried to stab me with his lance, but I moved and he only managed to cut me across the face..." Timidly, Nerr pointed to the dark line dividing his face in two, and the knight nodded, smiling grimly. "Yes, that's right. I wasn't lying when I told you I suffered this wound in battle; I just hadn't become a soldier at the time."

"But..." She whispered. "You're a soldier now. Or, you were, before you became my retainer. How is that possible; how did Father not have you executed?"

"...perhaps I should save that story for another time; you need to rest, Nerr. I should not be burdening you with my troubles, especially when you've been so ill."

"No! You tell me now, dammit!" Despite her exhaustion, the young princess was determined to hear this story to the end. She'd wanted to be mad at him for not telling her he'd been married before (with a son, no less!)- how could she be angry now, when he looked so weary and unhappy? Gunther sighed deeply, shaking his head in exasperation. She could only imagine how painful reliving such horrors was for him, but she needed to know. She needed to have more reasons for why she was doing the right thing in killing the king.

"I thought they had killed me that day. Unfortunately, I woke up a few days later, in a dungeon cell in the Northern Citadel. In fact, I think it was fairly close to the one you had been kept in years later. We are alike in that way, too, my lady- victims of a cruel despot's paranoia and megalomania. He believed that, since I hadn't been in the village during the initial massacre, that I was the spy. He was determined that I confess to my wrongdoings, and ensured his soldiers do whatever it took to get that confession. But I would not confess to something I had no part in, not for that... that monster. I maintained my innocence until they simply gave up. King Garon was impressed by my fortitude. He offered me an ultimatum; I could swear my loyalty to him and serve as a knight in the Nohrian army, or I would be executed in the slowest way possible. My choice is clear."

She shook her head in silent disbelief. She knew he had left out a lot of details- after all, the only way Nohr dealt with spies was through vigorous torture, but she understood that he would not want to relive every grisly detail (honestly, she didn't think she had the stomach for that, either). What she couldn't understand was the choice he had made. Of course, most everyone in the world wanted to continue living, and she would hardly begrudge him that desire- after all, if he had chosen death, she never would've met him. But still...

"I can't believe you'd swear your loyalty to someone after... after something like that..."

"I didn't."

"Huh?" The older man's locked her with an intense gaze, one that felt as if his violet eyes were piercing through her.

"The only person I have ever sworn loyalty to in my life is you, Nerr. It's easy to lie and tell a person what they want to hear when one's life is on the line. ...I tell you this now because I love you and trust you more than I have ever trusted another person; the only thing I've sworn to King Garon is to see him dead. Not to his face, of course, because I'm not crazy, and then he wouldn't trust me, but everything I have done in his service has been to that end. I vowed to kill that man or die trying. I'm sorry if that upsets you; I know that, despite everything he's put you through, you still consider him your father." The princess shook her head slightly.

"...Very soon, I think I'm going to start filling you in on a lot of the things you missed while you were gone..." The only thing that upset Nerr was that her beloved "father" could do such horrid things. Stifling a yawn, she tugged on Gunther's sleeve. "For now, come to bed. I can't sleep without you next to me anymore. You've shed enough tears alone; that's what my shoulders are for." He nodded with a humorless chuckle, lifting the covers and settling down beside her. She snuggled closer to him, at once put more at ease by his familiar presence. He reached up to stroke her hair absentmindedly. It would've been nice had she not been able to smell his tears, the anguish still tearing at his insides.

"I'm sorry, Gunther. I didn't want you to bring up such sad memories because of me."

"Don't be, Nerr." He murmured against her hair, his breath warm on her skin. "I've been keeping that story to myself for almost forty years. I always thought that, if I died, no one else would know. There were a few survivors from the massacre in Kouga; my village was not so lucky. I searched for years for a sign that someone else had escaped, but there was no one. I was the only one who didn't die... " He trailed off for a moment before speaking again in a quieter tone. "I was terrified that, once I died, no one else would know what that monster had done. But that's one fear put to rest now. Michaela would be happy I finally told someone; she hated secrets..." At once, all the warmth and sympathy Nerr had felt dried up, leaving bitter resentment in it's place.

"You never told me how pretty she was. I bet she was gorgeous; you're so handsome now, you probably looked like a god when you were younger, and Michaela was the one who was lucky enough to snare you, so she must've been godlike herself. She was your first love, wasn't she?"

"...No, Nerr, she was not." His short tone came as a surprise; if he was angry, why didn't he say, 'obviously, I wouldn't have married her otherwise'? "When I told you you were the first woman I'd ever loved, I meant that from the bottom of my heart. Michaela and I were friends, and had been since we were young. We fooled around, as stupid children are wont to do, and she came to me one day saying she was pregnant. That is why we married. I cared for her with all my heart, to be sure, but I did not love her. Not the way I love you. And before you say I'm a horrible person for that, allow me to assure you the feeling was mutual. Michaela flat-out told me that if she met someone she fell in love with, she was leaving me and taking the house." A sad smile cut through his pique. "But she also said the same held true for me... only I just got the cart, I wasn't good enough for the house... She was beautiful, yes, but more than that, she had a kind heart. Even if it was buried beneath layers of arrogance and rudeness and a complete disregard for things like privacy, and sobriety, and not making a scene in public. ...you and her are very similar in that regard. I know she would've liked you."

"I doubt she'd want to be friends with the child who has designs on her husband." Nerr said coolly. She did not want to hear how similar she was to Gunther's first wife, regardless of what excuses he spun that he did not love her. If they were so similar, then did that mean he didn't love her either? Strong arms wrapped around her, enveloping her in warmth.

"You know I love you, Nerr." Gunther told her quietly. "I had lost everything. For decades, I had nothing to live for but the thought of revenge. ...and then I met you. Even when you were a child, you put my heart at ease, and as you grew older, I fell more in love with you every day. Don't compare yourself to someone else when you clearly come first. If I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't want to start a family with you- I would simply cling to the family in my memories the way I had for years." The princess sighed, still bitter but aware this was a one-sided battle she would still end up loosing.

"You're right. I'm sorry, dearest. I just can't bear the thought of you with anybody else; imagining you happy and normal in the arms of someone who's not me makes me want to sit on a knife...!" She could feel his low chuckle in her skin.

"That might be a bit extreme... But believe me; we are more alike in that regard than not as well. I thank the gods every day that you are mine, and mine alone."

Nerr felt the same, but as she closed her eyes and began drifting back towards the dark void of unconsciousness, she found herself issuing a different prayer. She was thankful to the gods as well, but this time, her supplication was specifically because the two worst things that could stand between her and her beloved were dead. Of course, she felt terrible that their deaths still weighed so heavily on Gunther's mind and soul even after so much time had passed, but the truth was, she was happy they were dead. Michaela seemed like a lovely, interesting person, and that made Nerr hate her even more. And surely a child would demand the bulk of his father's love. If they hadn't died, Gunther wouldn't have even become a soldier, and then where would she be? Dead in the Northern Citadel's dungeons, most likely. Even though it had happened nearly twenty years before she'd even been born, perhaps the gods had been looking out for her, knowing what would one day transpire. It was a far-fetched thought, but one that made her feel better none the less. Instilled with a sense of peace, Nerr fell deeply asleep.

000

A/N- And here we have my piece de' resistance. I call it, "Realistic Expectations of Pregnancy During Medieval Warfare". At least in Awakening, the kids came from the future. Yes, Sumia (as the stupid game kept pointing out, apparently, it's supposed to be Sumia) gave birth to Lucina, but it was during peacetime and took a year. Fates is all, "Oh, I carried a child to term and gave birth whist being an active duty soldier ON the battlefield and suffered absolutely NO adverse side effect!" No. Fucking NO. Congratulations, IntSys; you've devolved into 5 year olds who think that babies are delivered by storks, or whatever the magical equivalent of storks are. "But Silbur, it's totally justified! Deeprealms plus magic equals suspension of disbelief!" To which I respond, "Instead of programming soft core porn into Fire Emblem games, use that money to let your writers come up with a second draft." It had so much potential... unfortunately, that potential was left for dead in a back alley.

Speaking of left for dead, you might notice I made drastic changes to Gunther's backstory. There are two reasons for this. The first is, I had started another story (the prequel to TRNT) before the game was officially localized, and as such, I didn't know his backstory- from what I saw of translations of the Japanese game, he simply had no clue why Garon obliterated his village, so I came up with this as the reason. The second, more important reason is, Gunther's canon backstory makes him a paedophile. He goes into detail about how he groomed a young child to be loyal to him and do whatever he wanted by being overly nice to them while hiding this from the child's parent. And again, I have to bring up that one married skinship line of his from the Japanese version- "I might have regarded you with special feelings ever since you were young..." (emphasis mine). The only reason you can't support with him during the endgame of 'Revelation' is because the entirety of his supports with the avatar would be them going, "So, seriously; did you, or did you not, molest me when I was little?" (spoiler alert- judging by the look of his CG image on that route, the answer is "probably definitely"). Ugh, it weirds me out (even though he looks super badass in that CG)! Sorry if you think this is too much canon fucking, but I had to change that... And sorry if you dislike me telling most of this chapter from Azura's POV but not going too in depth on her character and backstory and feelings and everything, but remember, this isn't her story, it's Nerr's. I might maybe one day in the future write an Azura-centric story, but it would be a one shot, and it's not very likely (at least, not at the moment).