Mara stared at the very weak cup of stim-tea that she held in both hands, not wishing to meet Luke's eyes. He sat on the couch next to her, cross-legged, leaning forward intently, waiting for her to speak. She knew what he wanted to say – what she wanted him to say – that it was all right, she didn't have to tell him anything. But they both knew such easy platitudes would only start the cycle again, of her concealing things and him allowing her to do so.

She had promised him that she would talk, really talk, about what had been troubling her. She knew Han and Leia had been pushing him to take her to a professional, someone specialised in dealing with... addicts. She could think that word now, accept it and understand what she had become. But Mara couldn't face a stranger. Luke had already seen her at her worst, and he hadn't run, hadn't abandoned her.

"Mara," he began a little uncertainly. "There's something I have to know."

Mara sighed. "I said I'd tell you everything, Luke. So ask."

Luke shifted, looking down at his hands and then back up at her. "Okay," he said, but then lapsed back into silence. She waited for him to think, to work out what he wanted to say. Finally he gently took her hands into his and looked her directly in the eyes. "I know Talon was your friend, that he helped you through your withdrawal...before."

Mara nodded, guessing where he was going. She had to let him say it, though.

"Were you ever anything more?" Luke looked as though he didn't want to hear the answer.

"Would it make a difference?" Mara asked him.

"Maybe," Luke answered truthfully.

"Talon is the only true friend I've ever had," Mara said. "And we were never friends, Luke," she stopped him before he could protest. "I know that's what you wanted to believe but it's just not true. We were acquaintances, and then lovers, but we were never friends." She had to be honest with him now - she'd promised herself that as well. "Talon was there for me," she continued. "Not like a father..." She didn't think she could see anyone as a father figure, not after... "It's hard to explain. I trusted him."

"I understand." Luke said softly.

"He never betrayed that trust," she said seriously. "And I never wanted him to."

Luke nodded and looked thoughtful, absently patting her hand.

"Does that make you feel better?" she asked.

"I don't know... yes," he replied. "I suppose I wanted to know if I was... different."

"But you weren't, Luke." She pulled away from his comforting hands and leant back against the back of the cushions. "I made all the same mistakes in new ways." She bent her legs and drew them up under her chin, resting her head on her knees, wanting to make herself as small as possible. "There were so many men, the first time, before Talon. He was the one who was different."

"Oh."

"I don't want to hurt you, Luke." She couldn't look at him. "But I used you. I thought that if I could just keep my mind occupied, I would be fine." She managed a small smile. "And you were very good at doing that."

The corner of Luke's mouth twitched but he clamped his jaw to stop the movement.

"But I am sorry, Luke, that is the difference," she continued. "All of those other men, I just took what I needed and moved on. But you... I regret what i've done to you. I want to make it right."

Luke took her hand again. "Well, this is a start. I don't blame you, you weren't in control of your actions."

"No," she told him firmly. "I was. You have to understand, the spice is just an excuse to do what I wanted without caring about the consequences. I should have known better – a part of me did know better." She laughed self-derisively. "Gods I hate lucidity."

It had been so much easier to delude herself, but Mara now knew she had to face her cause of her problems, not just deal with the outcomes.

"It makes a nice change," Luke told her. "Please, tell me more about Talon."

"I already told you..."

"No," he said gently. "Tell me anything about him, tell me about the missions you had, how you ran your company, anything. You need to talk about him, Mara. To move on, you need to accept the difference he made in your life, rather than just pretending he never existed."

Mara took a deep breath, feeling the hot sting of tears in the back of her eyes. But Luke was right – she had to face it. "Okay," she said as Luke rubbed her arm encouragingly. "Okay..."

Luke pushed his way through the spaceport, trying to keep his eyes on his path and not on the throng of reporters that surrounded him. They had been hounding him ever since he left the apartment - had been staking out their apartment actually - ever since the news story had broken. They had been easy to ignore while they were secluded inside with blinds pulled over the windows, but as soon as he stepped outside it had been constant questions and holorecorders in his face. It had taken all of his willpower to stay silent and keep walking.

He had just needed to get away. Han had agreed to stay with Mara and the thought of the two of them together almost made Luke smile. But he was far too annoyed at the constant jabbering of the crowd around him.

"Why did you keep this a secret Master Skywalker?"

"What else are you hiding?"

"How long have you and Jade been involved?"

"Do the Jedi have an official stance on drug addiction?"

Luke was relieved when he finally made it to the door of the pilot's club. The bouncer ushered him in quickly. "Pilots only!" He bellowed at the throng before slamming the door and bolting it shut.

"Thank you, Ciin," Luke said gratefully.

"Don't worry, Luke," Ciin grinned. "No one will get past me."

"I appreciate it." Luke patted him on the arm and entered the club, more of a lounge really, with pilots scattered around the many comfortable couches, smoking, drinking, chatting with each other. It had long been an escape for Luke, and he had never needed it more than now. He smiled and nodded in greeting to a few of the men and women, knowing that every one of them would respect his space. Luke sat down in one of the couches in the far corner and almost immediately a waitress appeared with a drink for him – a cup of caf with a shot of Corellian Whiskey, a favourite amongst the Rogues. He took a sip and leant back against the cushions.

"Hi, Luke," a deep voice roused him, and Luke looked up to see Lando standing somewhat uncertainly by the low table in the centre of the booth.

"Lando," Luke said a little shortly, suddenly tense. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Lando answered a little too quickly. "Fine... I mean, probably better than you." Lando flinched, probably realising that his words hadn't come out the way he planned. "I mean... I saw the news."

Thanks for reminding me. Luke gestured for Lando to sit down. "Something tells me you're not here to talk about that unpleasant reality."

"No," Lando admitted, brushing an invisible speck of dust off his tunic as he sat. "But I wasn't... surprised by it."

"Oh?" Now Luke was interested. He had tried not to think about what Mara had told him about her and Lando, and a part of him couldn't help but be bothered by it. What else didn't he know?

"Look, Luke, I don't know how much you know about me and Mara - "

"I know," Luke cut him off. Oh, he knew. He just didn't want to hear it said out loud.

"Right." Lando was uncharacteristically uncertain. In fact, Luke had never seen him so nervous. "I knew something was wrong, there'd been a discrepancy with the spice shipment, and Mara had acted so strangely after..." he checked himself. "I wanted to say something at your birthday, but I... didn't want to interfere. I wish now I had."

"I don't think it would have made much of a difference, Lando," Luke managed to say. "Don't blame yourself."

Lando nodded. "It's no secret that I... pursued Mara," he began. "I thought I was lucky as hell when it seemed like I succeeded. But she left, Luke," he continued, meeting Luke's eyes for the first time. "I know you probably think that there's not a lot of difference between what she did to me and what she's done to you, but there is. And believe me, this isn't easy for me to say." He shook his head derisively. "But when I saw the two of you together, it didn't hurt so much that she chose you over me. It was the fact that when she looked at you, it wasn't completely the spice. There was something real there. Trust me, Luke. I know a few things about women."

Luke appreciated Lando's words, but he wasn't in the right frame of mind to hear them. "Lando, I - "

"Hey, Luke!" Wedge appeared at his side. "Sorry i'm late, it was hell getting through the front doors. I know you've had your fanclubs before but this is ridiculous!" He laughed and flopped down on the couch. "Lando, hey!" he greeted him. "Have a drink with us?"

"No, I really have to be going," Lando was subdued, a sad smile gracing his mouth. "It was good to see you, Luke," he said, rising from his seat. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Luke reached to clasp his hand. "I hope so." He watched Lando leave, unsure of what to think about the exchange.

"Luke?" Wedge snapped his fingers to get his attention. "You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Luke shook the thought away. "Thanks for coming Wedge."

"I was waiting for the call," Wedge smiled. "I wanted to go over to your place straight away but Iella thought it would just make things worse."

"You always do what Iella tells you?" Luke ribbed him.

"Yes," Wedge answered seriously, then broke into laughter. Luke joined him, feeling the weight of his problems slip away. It was good to take a break, to not have to worry about watching Mara every second, and while it had been a relief to hear her finally talk to him but he couldn't deny that it had drained him, just a little.

But a part of him kept thinking about what Lando had said, and he wondered...

Mara shifted uncomfortably in her seat in Luke's kitchen, giving the Sabacc cards in her hand a half-hearted glance. Han Solo sat across from her, eyeing her carefully, whether as strategy in the game or just to keep a close eye on her, as if she would at any second try and make a break for it. She certainly felt like doing so, but the company was worse outside. Probably.

"Come on, Jade," Han urged her. "I'm growing moss over here."

Mara didn't even have a retort ready, and instead threw the seven of Flasks onto the table.

Han snorted. "You're not even trying, Jade," he told her.

"It wasn't my idea to play," she shot back. In truth, she was reminded of the last time she had played Sabacc, with Luke on the Hunter's Luck. How different things had been then – how deluded she had been to ignore the love Luke had clearly had for her. And now Luke never touched her, except to chastely hold her hand, and she was stuck being minded by Solo. "I don't need a babysitter," Mara added with bitterness.

"Yeah, well forgive me if I don't take your word for it." Han searched through the cards in his hands and his face broke into a grin. He tossed a face card – the Queen of Air and Darkness, onto the table and smirked. "There's the card for you, sunshine."

"Funny," she said sarcastically. She found that she had her own face card, and with a wry smile, placed it on the table. It was The Idiot card.

Han laughed. "Cute, Jade," he told her. "Very cute." He threw his remaining cards down on the table. "Fine," he said with a shrug. "What do you want to do?"

Mara tossed her cards aside and leaned back into her chair. "Nothing with you."

"Well, tough luck, Red," he told her. "You're stuck with me until Luke gets back," he continued. "And don't pout, he needed a break."

Mara suddenly felt guilty, and looked at her hands. Maybe she should have insisted on checking into a rehab facility, rather than taking advantage of Luke's infinite patience and need to help. She could see the toll it was taking on him, hating herself for putting him through it.

"And don't go feeling sorry for yourself again," Han said firmly, as if he had read her thoughts. "Hey," he added, and she looked up to meet his gaze, "It's Luke's choice to help you." Han sighed wistfully. "He needs to do that, you know," he continued, his tone becoming warmer. "If he can help someone he loves, he'll do it, no matter the cost to him. It's just the way he is – nothing you can do to stop him."

Mara's heart ached despite Han's assurances – just how much could she take from Luke before she broke him? And yet she could not stop herself from drinking in his forgiveness, his friendship, his affection, as if the was the hydrating drink of water which banished the thirst of addiction.

"So what do I do?" she asked, her voice small.

"You accept it," Han told her kindly. "You let him help you, and hopefully…you get better."