Chapter 25 ~ The Candle's Flame

"And the arms of the ocean are carrying me
And all this devotion was rushing out of me
In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me
But the arms of the ocean delivered me
Though the pressure's hard to take
It's the only way I can escape"
~ Never Let Me Go by Florence and the Machine

Draco groaned as he was awoken by the sound of a stir in the far right corner of his room near the door. He looked at the clock and frowned when he saw that it was four o'clock in the morning. It was still dark outside, the window enchanted into their tent showed him as much. There were fireflies out though. He liked that. It was a simple thing that he wouldn't admit to liking aloud, but he would indeed do it internally.

The grogginess began to dissipate, and then he realized exactly who was in the corner of his room. He pulled himself up, walking slowly in case that he was dreaming. He wanted to assess the situation, to see if she was real at all. The shadow figure was shaped like Granger; the wild hair gave it away, and the petite stance. The darkness made the features he had grown to need impossible to see.

Once he was in arm's length from her, he cautiously outstretched his arm and placed a gentle yet firm hand on her cheek and stroked her jawbone. He felt her jaw drop slightly at this touch, parting her lips the way that she always did when he caressed her that way. After a moment, she pushed his hand away. He furrowed his brow in confusion despite the fact that she couldn't see his features anyway.

"You didn't even leave a note" she said weakly. His stomach lurched at the hurt in her voice. "You - you didn't even say goodbye. You didn't tell me you were going to go! You just left me there".

He was quite sure that she was crying. He would have comforted her, hugged her, but he felt this was not the appropriate thing to do for comfort when he created the pain in the first place. "I didn't think it would be necessary, Granger. I didn't think - I thought with your mind you'd be able to put two and two together".

"Just because I can put it together doesn't mean I don't want you to say goodbye to me!" her voice was becoming louder and higher pitched, the way it always did when she was about to begin sobbing. "Especially after you told me you loved me! S-Some fucking way to show it! You left me without a w-word! Pansy had to comfort me for h-hours! I know that you d-didn't mean it! You didn't have to say it!"

Draco winced. "I meant it, Granger".

"But -

"Don't fucking 'but' me" he snapped. He lit a candle with a lazy flick of his wand so that she could see his features; see his honesty. "Do you think that I would have gone through all this just because? Do you think that I would go to you for an easy lay? Hell, you're anything but easy. Anything but easy. Do you honestly believe that I would tell someone I love them just because? Shit, Hermione! I've loved you for months now, way longer than I've cared to admit! I wouldn't just fucking say that! I'm anything but a cuddly teddy bear, and you of all people should know that".

He looked as her as though she was insane when she began to giggle uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, but the words cuddly teddy bear even coming out of your mouth is too much" she managed to say through her giggling. He attempted to scowl, but it ended up being a grin.

After she stopped laughing, he spoke again. "Do you believe me?"

Hermione bit her lip before nodding tensely. "I do - I do believe you. It just hurt me so much that you would say that - that you would say that and just walk away like it never happened".

"It was for the good of both of us" he murmured.

He met her honey colored eyes that were illuminated by the only small light in the room and Merlin he had missed them. He approached her apprehensively, unsure whether she would shove him away. He didn't want her to. He wanted her. He could go as far as say he needed her in that moment. To his pleasure, she stepped into him this time and feathered a light kiss on the corner of his mouth, resting her forehead on his. She felt his erratic breaths against her skin, and she heard her own. It was amazing how intimate such a simple gesture could be, and he felt as close as ever to her in that moment.

"It feels like it has been so long" she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling. "So damn long".

"It has" he blurted without thinking. He cursed himself internally for how needy that sounded after only three weeks apart.

She stood up on her tip toes and pressed another light kiss on the tip of his nose. "I know" she whispered.

He closed the distance with the most gentle kiss he could manage to give her. He took out everything, excreting every emotion left in him and pouring it into her. It seemed she was doing the same. All the anger, the frustration, the pain, the numbness, the depression, the need, the forlorn, the lust... the love.

She whimpered when Draco pulled at her bottom lip with his teeth, and she felt a familiar anticipation return near her navel. He earned his first real moan when he sucked at a tender spot he knew drove her mad near her ear, and he hardened at the sound. She ground against his arousal, earning her a moan of her own. She hadn't realized how much she had grown to need his release. She needed this so much it was almost unhealthy, but she couldn't possibly care even if she tried.

The kisses he was scattering across her fair skin were growing more open mouthed and desperate. He trailed his lips down her neck and to the top of her breast as he lifted her right leg off the ground and wrapped it around his waist. She tugged at his shirt, removing it without much difficulty. Once she had done so, she kissed down his chest the way he had done to her and enclosed his nipple in her mouth. He groaned and hissed 'fuck' under his breath, sliding his hands up her shirt and grazing her ribs. She shivered at the barely-there touch.

Everything was tantalizingly slow; so slow and gentle that it was maddening. He handled her like a fragile canary, and she adored it. She began working at his sweatpants, but twitched and lost control when he circled her nipple with his tongue, the same way she had done to that. "I was trying to - oh, God" she moaned.

She felt him smirk against her shoulder, which he was now dragging his teeth along. He chuckled, and it was so low and raspy that she felt her heart skip a beat. "Revenge is sweet, Granger".

Hermione trailed her hands down his torso and below his pants and boxes to show him how very sweet revenge could be. He shuddered when her hand wrapped firmly around his erection, which was now bulging uncomfortable against his suddenly tight sweatpants. "It is, isn't it?" she whispered into his ear. He hissed once more when she hit a particularly sensitive place.

He began pushing her backwards after murmuring, "Bed, Granger". She hummed in agreement, finally freeing both herself and him from their bottoms so they were completely bare.

He knew he wouldn't manage to last half as long as he would like; it had been weeks. He had to get her close, close, close. He began placing kisses at the apex of her thighs, and she groaned in frustration. The chuckle that escaped him stimulated her in a way that was far too familiar. But that stimulation was nothing compared to what it was once he pressed his tongue against the most sensitive point on her body in a well learned speed. She attempted to control her hips, but she was writhing within minutes. Her whole body shivered and her hips bucked forward when the speed became more fast and desperate. "Now, Draco".

He didn't need to be begged. He could tell she was ready; she was flushed a light coral color, she was exceptionally wet and her pupils were dilating. He pressed his lips against hers as he entered her. He was normally fast, and not particularly gentle or rough, but somewhere in a happy middle;but not this time. This time he was intending to be as gentle and slow as he could; but she liked that. She liked the tender kisses he was placing on the underside of her breaths and the concentration gracing his features. He was flushed, too.

She loved the way he looked like this. He looked more peaceful than he did anywhere else. She loved seeing him so vulnerable. But she couldn't study him any longer. Her eyes rolled back in her head and closed and her toes curled and uncurled. She was shivering gracelessly under him, and he sped up his pace and stroked her in the same gentle way he did everything else. With a final and heedless cry, she unraveled. The rippling around him sent him over the edge as well.

They lay there intertwined as they caught their breath, grinning. She loved his post-coital grin, and the way that his eyelids were hooded over slightly. He pecked her dimple, causing her smile to only grown.

"You really are my silver lining, you know" he murmured, nuzzling her neck.

"I shouldn't be... I - I don't know what will happen with -

He glowered at her. "Could you please shut up? This is the first time I've been content in... well only God knows how long".

"Men" she whispered, laughing airily.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Sorry I just - men are always happy with sex. It's all sex for them. You'd think they think with their... you know".

Draco burst out laughing with that, such a full laugh he was sure he would wake the whole camp. "You never fail to astound me. You have shagged me plenty of times and yet you still can't even say the word penis".

She blushed. "I - well I-

"I like that about you" he admitted, smiling his lopsided smirk that made her stomach tie itself in knots. "You're more amusing than I ever could have imagined. Who could guess that bookworm, Gryffindor prude Hermione Granger could be any fun?"

"I'm hardly a prude".

He narrowed his silvery eyes in response, considering the matter. "I suppose you're not. I guess that that's my fault, though".

"I don't regret anything" she murmured, snuggling up on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat brought her comfort; she could swear it skipped a beat when she rested her head there. "I wouldn't take any of it back, you know. Not for anything".

He said nothing, he simply continued to stroke her hair and he tightened his arm around her waist.

She fell asleep like that; to the feel of his touch and the sound of his heartbeat. The heart she tried to forget that most likely had numbered beats, just like her own. She only hoped they would die like this.

If she died in this moment, she would be completely fine with it.

::::::::::::::

He had decided to teach her Occlumency. It was not only his decision, the suggestion was praised by both Potter and Weasley, the two people he talked to most. Teaching was proving much more testing and difficult than he had ever expected, and somehow he managed to sympathize with all the teachers he had hated at school. Draco was quickly growing snappy and frustrated, and she was reciprocating more so.

"Well this is the first time I've ever fucking tried, Draco" she shouted in the midst of their argument. "I've never fucking attempted it before today! Would you give me a break? I'm sorry I don't possess your 'prodigious skill' in this area!"

"You're not trying, Granger! You're letting me in too easily! I could see everything that ever happened to you if I wanted to" he retorted. "You're just fucking let me in! You can't let me in, then Dolohov will get in!"

"Why does it matter so much? It's my first day -

"YOU CAN'T GET YOURSELF KILLED!" he bellowed, breathing heavily. She recognized a flicker of pain in his eyes. "You can't. You have to stay. You have to stay for me. You won't be able to if you don't learn this".

She sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if I want to stay at -

"Don't you dare" he hissed. "Don't even say that you won't stay with me. Don't even say that. Do you know... How would I fucking fight this war without you here? I wouldn't have anyone. In case you haven't noticed, you're the only person who has ever understood me at all".

Hermione placed a dainty hand on his knee, causing him to meet her gaze again. She loved his eyes; they were one of the many physical features of his that she absolutely adored. "I know, Draco. We're all tired. We all want this to be over in whatever way possible. Sometimes death is a possible way".

"Death is the only possible way".

She bit her lip. "Is it wrong that I want to run away with you?"

He shook his head. "No, Granger. It's only wrong if you act on it" he smirked. "Besides, you're far too high on your horse to back down from a challenge. It would ruin your precious dignity.

She cupped his face in her hands and traced his sharp features with her thumbs, grinning reluctantly. "I still think you're a prat".

"I still think you're a haughty know-it-all".

"Good".

"Great".

And then his lips covered hers in a kiss as competitive as their arguments.

She decided that this was her favorite form of arguing.

::::::::::::::

Dinner had taken an interesting turn. Somehow, to Hermione's surprise, the Order members seemed okay with Draco's presence. The bigger surprise, however, was that some of them seemed to actually enjoy his company. She found it bizarre that in a matter of weeks they had learned to tolerate him.

George was chuckling over something Draco had said when Hermione brought the matter up. "You all seem to - to actually like his company".

Dean Thomas snorted. "Hardly. We only put up with him 'cause of you".

"I don't mind him. He's alright for an arrogant bastard that happens to be a Slytherin" George shrugged. "He's pretty annoying when he's swooning over you, Hermione".

Ginny laughed. "He's like a little school girl".

"Not some girls... What was it? 'With eyes as green as a fresh pickled toad?'" countered Draco, grinning at the scowl now on her features. "At least I don't say 'Hermione's eyes are as brown as dirt'".

Hermione slapped his arm. "My eyes don't look like dirt".

"They're brown. At least I didn't say they look like shit" he drawled. She slapped his arm again. "See what she puts me through? Abusive. I should call the ministry on you, Granger".

"Your insults are as bold as a Gryffindor" she quipped smugly.

He mimed vomiting, causing a few people to chuckle. "I take offense to that. But that insult was as sly as a Slytherin".

"I'll get you back for that".

He leered at her intently. "Oh believe me, I have some ideas of my own of how to get you back".

Her lips parted before she hastily changed the subject. Under the table, his hand slid up to her thigh and he traced the word 'prude' on her leg. Even through jeans he affected her. She traced the word 'bastard' on his, and he too was affected. This was indeed going to be a long meeting.

::::::::::::::

Draco had cornered her the minute everyone else had returned to their tents, not even waiting before they left the main tent to retreat to their own. He had her against one of the brick walls of the tent, his lips painfully close to hers. "I couldn't even focus during that meeting" he hissed. "Who would have thought that you could be so Slytherin?"

She raised her eyebrows. "And you weren't?"

"I'm always Slytherin" he raised his eyebrows, too. "I see that you've still kept the wit of a Gryffindor, though. Pity".

She grinned evilly. "Do you have to have wit to do this?" She wrapped her hand around the base of his length, which quickly hardened at the touch, despite that the grip was through his trousers. He let out a raspy sort of breath. "Didn't think so, Draco".

He pushed her hand away quickly, some sort of passionate determination visible in his eyes. "I'm going to fuck you right here, Granger".

"Do it then" she challenged.

He was kissing her with ferocity then. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they tumbled into the table, knocking a few plates and some silverware onto the hardwood floor. He sat her down upon it, throwing off the tablecloth and some more metal silverware along with it. She giggled excessively when one of the ceramic plates fell on the floor and broke. "There's no need to trash the place. They'll think that Death Eaters invaded".

He pushed her back slightly so her knees were against the edge of the table, knocking another cup over in the process. She giggled again. He shrugged and began working at her shirt and nibbling on her collarbones. "Oops".

"Oops" she echoed, smiling a smile that he could not see, but she could not hold back. It was meant for her and her alone.

Draco quickly had her shaking and releasing melodious whimpers that only he had ever heard. He felt a swell of pride in his chest as he thought that, and just to tease her, he made his hip movements excruciatingly slow. The odd position hit her deep and she was lost in her own contentment.

"Draco" she sighed. "I love -

His lips returned the incomplete declaration before she even knew they were hitting hers.

This was the only time she loved being interrupted.

::::::::::::::

Harry was scowling at both them and the purple marks on their necks and shoulders at breakfast. Though it only took a few 'Reparos' and a levitation spell to put the dining room back in order, the Chosen One was rather irritated about it. "Did you two really have to trash the dining room?"

Hermione looked mortified, and she shamefully buried her red face in her hands; well aware that everyone in the room was watching her. She saw through the cracks in her fingers that Draco, whom was beside her, looked calm and almost proud.

"It was necessary" he replied, shrugging.

"So do explain why it was essential to absolutely destroy a perfectly good room?"

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Do you want the blunt honesty, or do you want me to leave some room for reading between the lines? Oh to hell with it, I prefer blunt honesty, Potter. I wanted to shag her right where I was, so I did".

"Oh for the love of God" she whispered as many people laughed. "Jesus Christ, Draco Malfoy. Honesty is the best policy for you, isn't it?"

"Fine, then I'll lie. I was working on an art piece. She was going to be the center point. That's why I scattered bite marks all on her neck. I was trying to make the shape of a flower, but it didn't work so well".

She couldn't half but chuckle at that, and it was a full chuckle that would have came out of her even in the darkest of times.

But that's what he was, wasn't it?

The light. The candle's flame. The lantern.

She was starting to think that he was no longer grey. He was becoming white again.

::::::::::::::

Author's Note

I wrote this in like an hour and a half to be honest haha. I like it a lot though. I'm on a roll! I'm not too far from the end of this but not as close as I thought I was originally. I already have ideas for the fic I'm writing after this so something else to look forward to I guess!