A/N - Sorry for the wait guys! This a slightly longer chapter so it took more time to get up, I have my chapters already outlined and summarised but they take a lot of tweeking and editing before uploading.
Once again your reviews blew me away.
Bostonstrong - It does not make you a bitch whatsoever! Brody has brought this on himself, he has been blaming everyone else when in actual fact it's all him. Now it's been revealed that he did cheat on Ana when they first got together we know that he is not a saint. And no one forced him to take the cocaine in the first place! Read on to find what happened between Ana and Steve Morton.
Twinkleeye - Nope! Drugs are never the answer, so glad you are enjoying this story.
Dublingirl - Thank you so much! I have always loved Ray and Ana's relationship so I knew right from the off that he would become a strong fixture in my story. Brody was a silly boy wasn't he! And I know right! That shirt is hotttttttt! Haha
Guest - (what an absolutely delicious treat) Thank you! Need to throw a lemon or two in every now and again ;)
Check out my Pinterest page for visuals for this story - Pinterestdotcom / fiftyshades12 / forbidden lust (Remove spaces)
Chapter 25 - Keeping her safe
Anastasia's POV
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" My dad comes barrelling round the corner and scans the room with a panicked look on his face. Kate bursts through not ten seconds later in just her shorts and oversized tee shirt, hair wild and un-tamed with her toothbrush hanging from her mouth.
"Jesus Annie, what's the screaming about?!" They both look on in confusion as I bounce on the spot, clutching my phone to my chest whilst squealing like a pig being strangled.
"I got the job! I got the god damn job!" Dad pulls me into his arms and whoops, he actually whoops and swings me around, laughing like a school boy. Once he puts me down Kate grabs onto me and takes her turn in the squealing and shrieking.
"I knew you would! I just knew you would! I'm so proud of you baby" He tucks me under his arm and kisses my forehead, I can't stop smiling. I cant believe I finally have the job of my dreams, two years I have waited for this and now it's really happening. Someone really needs to slap me "When do you start?"
"Next Monday, I will be training for the first week and then it's all go from there"
"Nice one, Steele. Although I can't believe you will be definitely leaving me at work, I'm gunna' miss you so much" Here comes the infamous Bambi face, I see her eyes fill with tears so I walk over to her and fold her into my arms, kissing her cheek and whispering into her ear. She will be fine although I know this is like the end of an era. Nordstrom is where we met and if it wasn't for Kate, I would have given up years ago and be god knows where right now. Our lives are changing a lot, we both have new boyfriends, I have a new job and soon a new apartment will be thrown into the mix as well. It's all changing but I couldn't be more happier.
"You know this doesn't change anything between us right?" I pull back from our embrace and push her crazy hair away from her forehead, I see Ray moving into the kitchen through the corner of my eye. Probably uncomfortable with the direction this conversation is heading in. Women crying and getting emotional has never been one of my dad's strong points.
"Really?"
"I promise, we are dating brothers after all" She giggles and wipes a fallen tear from under her eye.
"True. I better be your Maid of Honour!"
"There will be none of that thank you very much Katherine!" My dad hollas from the kitchen, I think Ray would have a panic attack if I came home engaged before I was thirty. Or pregnant, pregnant and engaged, God he would be back in hospital if either one of those happened.
"I really am happy for you sweetie, I know how much you wanted this" I grin at her and pull her over to where dad is sat, propped up against the breakfast bar grimacing as he sips his coffee, his decaffeinated coffee.
"What do you want to today daddy? You got anything in mind?"
"I'm easy Annie, there's a game on at midday, So after that I'm all yours" I can't help but smile, my dad loves me but not quite as much as he loves The Mariners.
"Okay, I think I might go and see Christian at work if you're okay here on your own for a while?" I feel the slight blush creep onto my cheeks and I haven't got the faintest idea why, I guess it's just because it's my dad, I can't help but feel like his little girl whenever I'm around him even though I am a fully grown woman in a serious and committed relationship.
"I'll be fine Ana, you go and do what you need to do, I'll still be here when you get back" I kiss his cheek and ruffle his hair.
"I'm just gunna' get dressed then I'll fix us some breakfast. I'm thinking of viewing an apartment I've got my eye on later if you want to come?" He smiles and nods.
"You bet, I don't want my little girl living any old where"
"Are you kidding me?" Kate screeches mid chew "First the job and now you're looking at a new apartment?! You sure know how to kick a woman when she's down Steele!"
A bagel, one grey baggy tee and a pair of denim shorts later I'm ready to go. Sawyer is waiting for me as soon as I step out of the apartment door, casually leaning against the SUV watching the traffic. Doesn't he ever get bored? How long has he been waiting out here for me?
"Good morning Miss Steele" Polite as ever.
"Morning Sawyer, how long have you been here?"
"Only half an hour, Mr Grey instructed me to be on hand if you and your father wanted to go anywhere today" So much for relenting on security.
"Actually, it's just me today. I'm heading to GEH to see Christian I have something important to tell him" I don't know why I feel like I have to explain myself, he's my boyfriend and if I want to go and see him then I will.
"Very well Miss Steele, I will let Taylor know we are coming"
"Do you mind if we don't tell him? I want it to be a surprise" He eyes me sceptically before nodding and opening the back door, one of these days I'm hoping to crack a smile out of him. He's what? A man in his late twenties yet he acts like a forty year old, I get that he has to be professional and all that blah, blah, blah. But would it kill him to laugh every once in a while? I wonder if he has a girlfriend? There's no ring so he's definitely not married, he's really hot so he can't be single surely? But then again he was camped outside my apartment at 9am this morning, where would he tie a girlfriend in with his stupidly demanding schedule?
As we cruise through the early morning traffic my phone starts to ring, I rummage through my purse with haste thinking that it might be Christian but my heart sinks when I see my Mom's name on the screen. Why the hell is she calling me? I haven't spoken to her in well over a month, and even then it was the quickest conversation of my life. My thumb hovers over the accept button before curiosity finally gets the better of me. May as well see what she wants.
"Hello?"
"Ana! I didn't think you were going to pick up" Her sickly sweet voice rings through my ears and I feel my stomach churn "How are you sweetie?"
"I'm good, how are you?"
"Oh fine, keeping busy you know me. What have you been up to? I saw you in the paper with that delicious young man of yours" Bingo! Of course she has seen me, I'm actually surprised that she hasn't phoned me sooner, her one and only daughter is dating a gorgeous billionaire. Why else would she be calling? Dumb ass.
"Did you?"
"He's gorgeous Ana, where on earth did you find him?" I inhale a deep breath and lean my head against the backrest, she hasn't even asked what happened between me and Brody?
"We met through mutual friends" Not a complete lie "Was there something you wanted mom?"
"No, just wanted to catch up with you honey, I miss you" Of course you do.
"Yeah me too, listen I have to go mom I'm swamped over here. Talk soon okay"
"Okay sweetheart, I'm thinking of coming down to see you soon, I need to spend some time with my daughter, and well, I'm dying to meet this new man of yours. You've hit the jack pot there Ana, you will be taken care of for life with that one" My throat tightens and I feel my eyes well with tears. Christian is the only reason that she wants to see me, what does she think is going to happen? Does she expect him to write a cheque out for her there and then? She no doubt feels like she's owed something for raising me alone, not completely alone though was she? I screw my eyes shut and breathe through the sobs that threaten to rack my body.
"Okay. I'll call you soon, Bye" I don't even give her a chance to reply before I hang up and throw my phone across the seat, I can't believe her, I can't believe her audacity. She hasn't bothered to contact me in well over a month and now she does? All because of my celebrity boyfriend. Anger sweeps through me and takes over my train of thought, not only because she is selfish and quite blatantly doesn't give a rats ass about me, but because she has automatically accepted Christian due to his status, he could be an asshole for all she knows? She doesn't know a thing about him yet she is literally booking a plane ticket as we speak just so she can meet him. I feel sick, bam goes my fucking good mood.
"Miss Steele? Are you okay?" I raise my eyes to the rear view mirror and lock gazes with my security.
"I'm fine, Sawyer. Just feel a little light headed that's all"
"Would you like the window open Ma'am?"
"No, no I'll be fine honestly"
Thankfully the drive isn't too long, Sawyer pulls into the entrance to GEH and I swear my eyes pop out of their sockets. Holy mother of balls! This place is huge!Admittedly, this is the first time that I have seen the building in person. Once Christian and I met, I couldn't resist searching for him on Google, I wanted to know more about him and I was so embarrassed that I was the only person who didn't have a clue as to who he really was or what he did.
Sawyer comes to a stop right in front of the glass encased doors and tells me to go in while he parks the car, apparently they will know who I am when I give them my name at the desk, of course they will. I have been plastered and demoralised all over the god damn press lately after all.
Inside it's all white, and sandstone. It looks so clinical and instantly reminds me of Escala, clinical but beautiful, one thing I know for sure about my boyfriend is that he doesn't like colour. He likes his interior décor to be clean and simple, in some respects he likes things to look cold, lacking warmth and personality. I plan to change that, not here of course but definitely at the penthouse, it needs some life bringing into it and fast, he's not a bachelor anymore.
I'm greeted by a beautiful, twenty-something blonde, smiling at me warmly as I approach the front desk.
"Good morning, Miss Steele" Jesus Christ she knows who I am already? I expected her to recognise me once I had given my name but this, jeez this was fast.
"Oh, good morning. Um I'm here to see Christian, I mean Mr Grey. Is he around?" Why the fuck am I stuttering like an idiot? I feel ridiculous seeking permission to see my man but I get that it's nothing more than procedure here.
"Go straight up to the twentieth floor Miss Steele, Mr Grey's assistant will take care of you" She beams at me once more and I don't know if it's because it's her job or just because I am the boss' girlfriend, but she is so over friendly it's nauseating. Sweet girl, but I can't stand the false smile that is permanently fixed on her lips. Now, I have worked in retail, and I know you have to be an ass kissing leach even if you can't stand the prick in front of you. But it's still sickening.
"Thank you" I turn on my heel and head to the elevator at the end of the lobby, where a group of men are congregated. They're all dressed in sharp, black suits and talking amongst themselves discussing things I couldn't even begin to understand, it's all numbers and statistics. All four heads whip in my direction as I come to stand beside them and press the call button, I smile slightly and focus my attention on the steel elevator doors in front of me, willing them to open with my eyes as the feeling of uneasiness washes over me. I can feel they're eyes roaming over me and I regret my choice in outfit now, these shorts aren't indecent or flashy but I know that they are looking at my legs and it's making me feel really uncomfortable. I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief when the third elevator opens and I pray that they aren't going to step in with me, thankfully they don't, I hear one of them mutter 'That's Grey's new girl. Lucky son of a bitch" as the doors close. I lean against the railings to calm myself as I am whisked to the twentieth floor. What fucking perverts. Who the hell stares at a woman like that without even having the common courtesy to say hello first? Pigs.
Christian's floor looks exactly the same as the lobby downstairs, white and sandstone. I roll my shoulders and stalk towards the reception desk and try to look confident, I'm completely out of my comfort zone here. There are impeccably dressed women everywhere, beautiful and graceful and I feel anything but right now, I'm not a shy person. I have never felt insecure about my looks or body image and I know I can hold my own, but who wouldn't feel nervous around all these stunning women? And why the hell are they all women? Why doesn't Christian have any male assistants or secretaries? The thought is an unpleasant one but I banish it completely, they are not here for that.
I lean my hands against the desk and smile confidently at the blonde in front of me, almost identical to the one downstairs. She's dressed in a tight fitting pant suit, and even though she's sat down I can see that it hugs her curves perfectly.
"Good morning, welcome to Grey Enterprises Holdi…Oh! Miss Steele I am so sorry, I didn't recognise you for a moment there" Her cheeks flush as her gaze sweeps over me, clearly embarrassed but there's no need. She doesn't know me, it's not like I'm offended she didn't know who I was straight away, I'm not god damn royalty for crying out loud.
"You must be Andrea?" She nods and stands so that she can shake my hand, I was right. She looks phenomenal.
"Mr Grey is in his office, would you like me to take you through?"
"Umm, if you just point me in the right direction I'm sure I'll be okay" She motions towards a set of double doors to my left and tells me to just go straight through. Surely I should knock first? Then I pull myself together and remember that I'm his girlfriend, I don't need to knock.
I glance behind me and see that Andrea has busied herself with the computer screen in front of her, I ruffle my hair with my fingertips and smooth out my shirt before quietly pushing the door open.
He's sat at his desk, hunched forward and immersed in the paperwork that's in front of him, clicking a pen in his right hand as he runs a long finger across his lower lip, he hasn't noticed me yet so I admire him for a few more seconds. He's dressed in a charcoal grey suit, no tie though today. He looks unusually casual for a work day but still unbelievably hot. His hair sports the famous just been fucked look and I can only imagine that he has already ran his hand through it numerous times this morning.
"Good morning handsome" His head snaps up and the frown that was etched across his beautiful face slowly turns into a smile, actually more like a grin when he sees me stood at the threshold of his office.
"Ana, what are you doing here?" He throws his pen onto his desk and pushes his chair backwards before standing and walking over to me.
"I wanted to see you, I haven't interrupted anything have I?" Once he reaches me, he grabs my hips and pulls me roughly against him, crashing his lips down onto mine. His tongue instantly finds mine and I melt into his hold, it hasn't even been 24 hours yet but fuck have I missed him, the feel of his lips sends goose bumps down my arms and if he didn't have his arms wrapped around me I would be a puddle of limbs on the floor. After what feels like hours, he detaches his lips and drops his forehead to mine, I can feel his warm breath on my now wet lips and I want nothing more to attack him right here and right now.
"Nothing, and I mean nothing is more important than you, I've missed you" He gently nudges his nose against mine and my heart sores, how can a gesture as gentle as that make me feel euphoric?
"I've missed you too, you look stressed"
"I am stressed, I've already had the morning from hell and it didn't help that I slept like shit last night"
"Why didn't you sleep well?" He bends down and nuzzles my neck as he wraps his arms around my lower back, I run my hands up and down his biceps softly before resting them around his neck loosely.
"Because you weren't in bed with me. I've told you baby, I need you with me all of the time, you relax me in a way no one else can" I giggle and kiss his cheek.
"I should hope so Mr Grey, that's my job and my job only" He snickers against my neck before pulling back and leading me to the leather couch in the corner of the room.
"I don't just mean the sex, Ana. I mean all of it, I need to feel your presence around me, I don't know how I physically managed to cope without you in my life for this long. I just need you baby.
I scoot closer towards him and palm his cheek, circling my thumb against his freshly shaven skin.
"Christian, you have me. I'm not going anywhere" He smiles softly but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, he leans into my touch and presses a soft kiss to my hand.
"You know what I mean Ana, I want you with me all of the time. I want you to move in with me" I drop my hand into my lap and release an exasperated breath, this again?
"Christian, I thought that we had already been through this? It's too soon"
"No it's not, I love you and you love me. We want to spend our lives together so what the hell are we waiting for? You being at Kate's with your dad has made me realise just how much I need you with me" What do I even tell him? That I'm petrified if I move in with him our relationship will crumble before it's even began? That deep down I want nothing more than to spend every waking minute with him but I'm too afraid to? Because the last thing I want is to ruin what we have, I have rushed into this decision once before even though I knew that it was too fast. Okay, granted what I feel for Christian is worlds apart compared to what I felt for Brody, I know that this is the man I want to be with forever but I refuse to risk what we have.
"I just don't want to lose you, we haven't even been together for a month yet, we're still getting to know each other -" He silences me with the tip of his finger, pressing it to my lips halting me mid sentence.
"I know what you're going to say, that we haven't known each other long and it's too much too fast but, Ana" He twists his body so that he is facing me completely and lifts his hands to my face, cradling my cheeks and neck with his large palms "You're it for me, I love you so much and I want to start building our future together, just you and me" He leans in and kisses me softly, I want to cry. I can feel the love for me radiating off this man in spades, he adores me and I know he would do anything for me, I want to live with him and I fucking hate myself for being this scared and pathetic.
"I'm not saying no, Christian. Just give me some time okay? I was actually going to look at a place later with my dad" His eyes widen and a look of panic spreads across his face "But I'll hold off, I won't look for anywhere until I have thought this through properly"
"Promise me you won't view it" It amazes me how he can transform from a confident and strong master of the universe, to a small and scared young man who constantly needs reassuring.
"I promise" I place my lips on his and softly kiss him, it's a comforting and calming kiss, telling him that I love him, and that I'm not going anywhere. I just need time. He groans into my mouth and snakes his hand into my hair, tugging at the nape of my neck so that he can angle my head, probing my tongue with his he deepens the kiss and pushes me into the plush leather of the couch.
"I love you" He breathes out gruffly in between kisses, his lips move to the corner of my mouth, travelling lower until he reaches the hollow of my throat. My breathing becomes harsher as his hand comes to rest on my clothed breast, he squeezes gently and I feel his erection against my thigh. He's hard and heavy and I can tell from his breathing just how turned on he is. "Have I told you how fucking amazing you look today, your legs go on for miles in these shorts. "He plays with the hem of my shorts and slides his finger underneath slightly, stroking my bare thigh sending shivers through my whole body "You are so fucking sexy, Ana. And you're mine. All mine"
I moan and tilt my neck to the side, allowing him easier access as his kisses turn more harsh, he nips and sucks along my collarbone as he lifts my shirt up, tracing my stomach with his fingertips. Fuck, it's like he knows exactly what to do to me. He has barely touched me and yet my body feels like it's on fire. My hips begin to rock against his thigh, desperate for some friction.
"Are you wet?"
"Yes" I half moan half whisper as he continues to suck and nip at my skin, he's working me up and he knows it. My eyes are closed and my hips are still grinding against him, I need more. I need to feel more.
"How wet? Tell me?"
"Christian -"
"Tell me, baby. How wet are you for me? I want to hear you say it" Jesus! It's like his words are attuned to my libido, the inferno spreading through me at a rapid pace. His voice is low, raw and filthy, and so god damn hot.
"I..I, Fuck, Christian!" I can't even manage to form a coherent sentence let alone tell him how much he turns me on, I feel his hand fumble with the button on my shorts as my breathing accelerates, one minute we're having a serious conversation and the next he is sexing me with his mouth and hands, this man is mercurial at it's best and I love it.
"What, baby? What do you want?" I lift my legs and spread them as his hand snakes into my panties, I think I could come just by him doing this, being without him for the night has made me a needy, horny, mess and it's quite embarrassing really, I'm literally at the end of my rope and moments away from begging him to fuck me. I know he's turned on but for some reason he's holding off on me, taking his sweet time in torturing me and making me explode with desire.
"I don't think we need these do we?" He whispers hotly into my ear as he slides my shorts, along with my panties down my legs. They get caught on the buckle of my wedges so I help him by reaching down and untangling them, kicking them off my feet and bringing my legs up again so I can wrap them around him, he shifts so that he is in between my thighs and fuck if the seam of his pants doesn't feel good against my throbbing sex. His lips return to mine in a searing kiss and our teeth clash as we fight for dominance. I bring my hands to the waistband of his pants and shakily undo his belt before sliding the zipper down, I reach inside and take a hold of him. He's so hard and I know he's just as turned on as I am.
"Fuck, Ana. I love it when you touch me" His voice sounds like a cry, he closes his eyes and lowers his face into my neck as I fist him in my hand, pumping him slow and steady, I've noticed that's what he does when he's really aroused, it's like he can't look at me and if he does he'll detonate, it's a heady feeling knowing that I do that to him and it fuels my desire ten fold.
"I need you, Christian. Fuck me please" He groans low and long into the crook of my neck and thrusts his hips into my hand roughly.
"Fuck! I love it when you tell me what you want, say it again"
"Fuck me"
"Again" I release his dick and curl my hands around his neck, lifting my lips to his ear as I rock my sodden sex to his hips.
"Fuck me" That's all it takes. Without lifting his head he pulls himself out of his pants fully and impales me with one sharp thrust. I close my eyes and bite my lip to stifle my groan as I'm not sure if everyone outside this door can hear us or not. Christian bites into the flesh on my shoulder, no doubt doing the same thing. He stills for a minute and I feel him take a deep breath before he pulls out of me, he pushes back into me at an agonisingly slow pace and I can feel every inch of him fill me. Fuck, he feels so good. He's amazing every time but this is just something else entirely, this is what being apart from him does to me.
"You're so wet, baby. I can feel you quivering already, don't come yet. Hold it" Hold it! How the fuck am I supposed to do that when he is moving in and out of me like that, his thrusts are so deep and precise and he is connecting with my g spot every damn time.
"Christian, the door. It's not locked"
"Shhh, it's okay baby no one will come in, don't worry. Just feel me Ana, feel how much I love you" I close my eyes and swallow the groan that is bubbling in my throat, when he says things like that I'm weak and powerless to resist him. He maintains the slow and smooth pace that he has set, never once speeding up or losing control, his face is still buried into my neck and his breathing is harsh and heavy. He's controlling this fuck, he wants it to last and he knows if he goes any faster it will all be over.
"I love you so much, Ana. So fucking much" He says with a grunt and slides his hand down my body, resting it on my ass so he can lift my hips into his, perfectly timed as he drives into me once more.
"I love you too, I love you, I love you, I love you" This is so carnal, so hot and naughty and just the thought of an office full of people outside this door as we fuck feeds my libido even more, his entire weight is pressed into me and I can feel his stomach undulate as he rolls his hips into me.
"Christian, I'm gunna' come…You're making me…" I don't even finish my sentence before the waves course through me, gripping me like a vice and refusing to let go. I tremble beneath him as the spasms consume me, vaguely aware that Christian is shuddering on top of me before going slack. Shit that was good.
I stroke his hair as his breathing slowly returns to normal, he grunts and shifts his weight onto his forearms so that he can look down at me, his forehead is sweaty and he has a few strands of hair stuck to his clammy skin, I reach up and push them away from his eyes as a shy smile curls at the side of his mouth. Mirroring my own.
"Fuck, you're amazing. So amazing" He strokes my cheek softly as he pulls out of me and sitting up, leaving me feel empty and bereft.
"Even when it's limp it's impressive" I smirk as I lean myself up on my elbows, watching as he tucks himself back into his pants.
"I know I'm a big boy, you're a lucky girl" I lift my leg and lightly kick him as he laughs.
"Conceited ass. Now let me up, have you got a bathroom here? I need to clean up"
"Over there, baby" He pulls me up and swats my ass I stand and walk away.
Five minutes later I emerge, Christian is on the phone and motions for me to sit back down. There is a bottle of water on the table and I assume that he left it there for me, I twist the cap and take a sip as I lean back into the couch and watch him.
"Not fucking good enough, I want the revised contracts on my desk by the end of the day" He barks into the receiver before slamming it back down.
"I thought you would be relaxed after that little rendezvous?" He looks perfect once again, his suit is straightened out and his hair is back to it's normal state, although now it's worthy of it's just fucked title, you would never even be able to tell he was having sex with me not even ten minutes ago.
"Baby, you relax me no end. But there are always fuckers like that to piss me off again. How do you feel?" He perches his peachy little ass on the ends of his desk and folds his arms against his chest, smirking at me like the little shit that he is.
"I feel fine, you?"
"Fucking amazing. You can come to my office every morning and do that" I shake my head and stand, now that we have got that out of the way. I set out to do exactly what I came here for.
"There's something that I need to tell you"
"You want more already? Baby, I'm not a machine" I swat his chest and settle myself in between his legs as he rests his hands on my hips.
"Shut up, this is serious"
"Okay, that's gotten me interested. What is it?"
"I received a phone call this morning" He cocks his eyebrow at me and motions for me to elaborate with his hand.
"From SIP" A proud smile creeps onto my face and there's nothing I can do to stop it. His eyes widen as he clicks on to where I am heading and before long he too, is smiling.
"And? Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I nod as the shit eating grin remains on my face, Christian wraps his arms around me and picks me up, I fling my arms around his neck as he swings me around. Laughing as I giggle.
"You're fucking kidding me! You got the job? Fuck, baby that's incredible" He cups my cheeks and smothers me in kisses "I'm so proud of you, why didn't you tell me as soon as you got here?"
"I intended to but you distracted me"
"Jesus that is so amazing, when do you start?"
"Monday"
"Perfect. That leaves me with a whole weekend for us to celebrate, and I intend to spoil you rotten" I roll my eyes and tuck a tendril of hair behind my ear.
"Christian, you don't need to-"
"Shush that mouth, we're celebrating. Starting with tonight, I've made reservations at the Mile High for 8.30. Is that good for you and Ray?" He is so god damn adorable.
"Perfect. And speaking of Ray, remember he'll be here until Sunday morning, so whatever you have planned for just the two of us will have to wait" I kiss the tip of his nose.
"I know I can wait, what I cant wait for though is getting you back in my bed. It's so big without you"
"Oh you poor little rich boy" I comb my fingers through his hair and peck his lips with mine "I'll be back before you know it. Now I've gotta' go, will Sawyer be waiting outside?"
"Yeah, I've just phoned him he's with the car. Come on, I'll walk you to the elevator" I pick up my purse and take his outstretched hand, all eyes land on us as we exit his office. I can't help but feel under the spotlight. Did anyone hear us? Fuck I hope not I would never live it down.
Andrea smiles at me briefly before flicking her gaze back to her paperwork.
"I have a question"
"Oh yeah? What is it?" I glance up at him as we walk.
"Why are all the women that work for you blonde? And why are they all women?" He snickers and grins as we reach the elevators.
"Why do you ask that?"
"Just an observation" I shrug my shoulders "Now tell me"
"I don't know, it's not like I made it a specification or anything, and actually I do have a red head and a brunette that work in legal"
"Oooh wow, two women in this entire building that aren't blonde" He mouths a sarcastic ha-ha and pulls me towards him.
"Miss Steele, you wouldn't be jealous by any chance would you?" I scoff and roll my eyes.
"No not one bit. Although I'll rip they're hair out if they ever come on to you" He full on belly laughs and shakes his head.
"Baby, I don't even look twice, and they know better than to flirt with the boss, they know their place and they value it" I fiddle with the collar of his shirt and frown.
"Have you seen you? There's not a woman in the world that is immune from your charms and good looks" He smirks and raises his eyebrows at me, I glance around the office and sure enough, all eyes are trained on us watching our every move. It's unnerving.
"Good looks huh? I'll remember that" He reaches out and presses the call button before grasping my face and kissing me like his life depends on it.
"Christian" I breathe out once he comes up for air "Everyone's looking at us"
"I don't give a fuck, this is my building and you are my girlfriend" He kisses me again and this time I melt into it, I still feel every pair of eyes boring into us but Christian's right, he owns this place and what he says goes.
"Now go before I drag you into my office and fuck you again" He murmurs against my lips as the elevator dings, alerting us of it's arrival.
"Yes, sir" With one final peck I step into the cart and give him a seductive wave as the doors close. And just like that, my good mood is back.
Christian's POV
Well fuck, do I feel better for that or what. That woman is like a fucking balm, she relaxes and calms me every time just by being around me. The hot sex might have had something to do with it as well though.
I'm so proud of her for getting the job at SIP, I knew just how badly she wanted it and the triumphant look on her face went straight to my fucking heart, she's proud of herself and so she should be. She took the first step into getting the career she has always wanted and it's also the first step into our future. I just wish she would agree to move in with me, she wants to I know she does I don't know why she's fighting it. I get that she's scared, so am I, but it feels so right and natural.
Even though I have a permanent grin on my face thanks to my gorgeous woman, the feeling of dread and apprehension continues to consume me. Dylan phoned my office first thing this morning, he went over to Brody's apartment last night and found him crashed out with fucking Cassidy next to him practically naked. He couldn't rouse him and I can only imagine how scared he must have been, he said he picked his fucked up ass and dragged him to his car. When I asked what he did with Cassidy I could literally hear the resentment and hatred in his voice. He said he left her there and I quote "To fucking rot hopefully"
I'm so relieved that Dylan has stepped up to the plate, maybe now he will get the help that he needs. Brody doesn't want me or Elliot anywhere near him, understandably too. Even though Dylan explained all about his drug addiction at college, I still blame myself for pushing him down that road again. No matter what anyone says I will always blame myself for his downfall.
I plan on filling Ana in once Ray has gone home, I don't want her to worry herself and spend the weekend upset, I have vowed to be more honest with her and I promised her that we would communicate more, but I still think that I should wait for the right moment to do so.
Taylor steps into my office at noon precisely so we can discuss the agenda for the week, I'm planning on taking Ana out on The Grace this Sunday, I promised her that we would celebrate and this is how I intend to do so, I can't wait to see her face.
"Complete all the usual security checks, I don't expect Gail to work so I'll need Marian to be on board with us, I don't want Ana in the kitchen for the whole day, even though I know she would be in her element. Inform Mac of our arrival"
"Yes sir, will you be requesting the private room at the club tonight?"
"No, I think her dad will be more comfortable on neutral ground tonight, I think I would as well come to think of it" He nods at me.
"May I ask if Miss Steele was okay, Sir?" Why the hell would he ask me that?
"Yes, she was fine. Why do you ask?"
"Permission to speak freely Sir? I nod as the feeling of unease washes over me, whenever Taylor asks for permission to speak freely he is always about to either rip me a new one, or rip me a fucking new one.
"Sawyer told me that Miss Steele received a phone call from her mother on the way over here, and that when she hung up she looked upset and washed out"
"What were they talking about?"
"I don't know for sure, Sir. Sawyer said that Ana was quiet and short and only gave one or two worded replies, it was quite clear that she didn't want to talk to her mother. Miss Steele said she was feeling light headed when he asked if she was okay, but he suspects she said something to upset her" Fuck, fuck, fuck! Okay he didn't rip me a new one but I would rather he had of done, what the hell did she say to Ana? She seemed fine when I saw her, but maybe that was all an act? I run my hand through my hair and shake my head.
"And you don't know what was said?"
"No, Sir. Sawyer couldn't quite hear or make out the topic of conversation"
"Right, thank you Taylor. That's all for now"
This has been on my fucking mind since yesterday, ever since Elliot said what he did all I can think about is Ana and her step father, it's no secret that she doesn't get on with her Mom but why? And why didn't she tell me they spoke? Especially if it has upset her. She refuses to talk to me about this part of her life and it pisses me off, I want to help her and be there for her but she wont let me. Maybe I can ask Ray tonight? A bit sly of me I know but the not knowing is killing me, I could just pull up her background check and have Welch dig into it but I refuse to do that without giving her a chance to confide in me. She's not some employee she's my girlfriend and I need for her to talk to me. I just need to be patient.
I have never felt so fucking nervous in all my life, I fiddle with the cufflinks on my jacket for the umpteenth time tonight as I wait for Ana and her dad to arrive.
This is it, I'm finally meeting him. This will be the first time I have ever met a girlfriend's parent and I'm petrified, well that's granted considering Ana is my first and last serious girlfriend but still, my heart is hammering in my chest and I feel my hands start to clam up. What if he hates me? What if he thinks I'm not good enough for his daughter? What if he tries to take her away from me? I take a deep breath and tell myself to get a fucking grip. I'm Christian Grey, I don't do nerves and I don't do being scared, I just have to show him that Ana is my life, and she is. I would do anything to protect her and I want him to see that.
Taylor informs me of Ana's arrival after what feels like hours when in reality it's only been ten minutes or so, I stand just as Ana rounds the corner with her father next to her. Fuck she looks so beautiful, she's wearing a monochrome skater dress that fits her like a glove, her hair is pinned up loosely with soft wavy tendrils framing her face and she literally takes my breath away, she beams at me when she sees me and I instantly relax, the power of Ana strikes again. She grabs on to Ray's hand and practically drags him across the room to our table. This is it.
To my surprise Ana places her hands on my chest and presses a firm kiss on my lips, I didn't expect her to even touch me whist being in her father's presence, being a daddy's girl and all that.
"Hi" She whispers against my lips and smiles brightly at me.
"Hi. You look stunning, baby" She grins once more and turns to her dad.
"Christian, this is my dad, Dad, this is my Christian" My Christian! My heart just stopped beating, actually stopped beating. I don't know what I was expecting but I cant help but feel surprised when Ray pulls me in for a hug, slapping me roughly on the back in the way only men do.
"Good to finally meet you son, Ana has told me all about you"
"Good to meet you too, Ray and likewise. She never stops talking about you" Ana smiles shyly and reaches up to kiss him on the cheek and I can see how close they are straight away, he looks at her with such adoration and love and I know right there that this girl is his life, just like she's my life.
He's a good looking guy, well built and fit. It's clear that he was a military man, just like Taylor he stands straight and poses a protective stance that I can guess only comes naturally to him.
"Let's sit shall we, what would you both like to drink?" I pull Ana's chair out for her and kiss her cheek softly as she sits.
"Whatever you're having Christian is fine with me"
"Baby?" I look at Ana and have to literally swallow the lump in my throat when our eyes lock, I can't get over how beautiful she is. It's like every time I see her I'm reminded of the small fact over and over again, she's gorgeous and she's mine.
"Wine is good for me, you know what I like" I motion for the waiters attention and almost instantly does he make his way over to us. At least it's not that preppy little fucker that couldn't take his eyes off Ana last time we were here.
"Cabernet Sauvignon please. A bottle" I reach over the table and interlace my fingers with Ana's. I'm surprised with myself at how affectionate I am being with her, when she met my parents for the first time I was all over her, fuck I even fingered her in the kitchen not giving a fuck who could hear us. But there's something different about being around your girlfriends father and being touchy-feely. I can remember the time Mia brought her boyfriend over for the first time, the poor fucker sat stock still all night when my dad was around, he didn't even dare look in Mia's direction.
The small remainder of anxiety that I was feeling slowly ebbs away throughout dinner, we talk about how I started my business, Ray's time in the army and my favourite subject of all, Ana's childhood.
"As soon as she could talk the word 'no' was at the top of her vocabulary, that and going 'la,la,la' whenever she would hear music, and she used to have this cute little dance where she would stand on the spot and bend her knees as she bounced slightly, her hands would be balled into fists in the air as she would try to sing. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen in my life, she would do that at least ten times a day until she was three" I'm nearly bent over the table in hysterics as Ray talks, he even mimics some of the actions he's describing and it's all I can do not to fall off the damn chair, I look at Ana and she has her arms folded against her chest with a pout on her sexy as fuck lips, she does not look the smallest bit impressed.
"And don't even get me started on when we were trying to potty train her"
"Dad, seriously! You're going to start talking about that right now!"
"Don't get all antsy Annie, it's a cute story"
"It is not cute, Christian doesn't want to hear about this anyway do you?" She glares at me and fuck if it isn't the most adorable thing in the world.
"Actually, I think I would" I feel her heel connect with my shin and I groan out loud as I reach underneath the table to rub where she kicked me "Now I know I definitely would" I narrow my eyes at her and mouth 'Don't be a baby" but I just get a scoff and an eye roll in return.
"It was impossible, she would never tell us when she wanted the toilet and when we tried to put her big girl panties on she would scream bloody murder, yelling 'no, daddy, no, me don't wanna" Ray mimics her in a whiney voice and I almost lose it. She still does that now.
In the end we had to bribe her with candy just so we wouldn't have to change her ten times a day, it was an ongoing battle and after what felt like years she finally relented and used the potty all on her own" By this point Ana has her face buried in her hands, shaking her head to and fro as Ray talks.
"Dad, please stop now" Ray laughs loudly and I have to literally wipe my eyes with the fucking napkin as tears are nearly falling down my face.
"I'm sorry baby, you were just so adorable as a kid I cant help but relive it" Once Ray calms himself down he reaches over and presses the tip of his finger against her cute little button nose "Seriously though, Annie. You were the light of my life growing up, you still are but you have no idea how much joy you bought me as a little one. Just picture her Christian, up until she was five she came no higher than my knee, she had the same big blue eyes as she's got now, and boy did she have me wrapped around her little finger"
I smile as I picture Ana as a child, I have no doubt in my mind that she was gorgeous, my mind wanders to the possibility of us having a daughter and what she would look like, would she look like Ana? God, I hope so. I can't imagine anything more perfect than having a little girl that looks just likes my baby, she's so god damn perfect it scares me. Men want to fuck her and women want to be her, a fan club page has already been created for her on the internet and she has only been known publicly for just over a week. It follows what she wears and where she goes, the restaurants that we eat at and picture after picture of her has been uploaded, at first I was pissed and felt like it was an invasion of her privacy but Elliot told me to get a grip and be proud, my woman has captured the hearts of Seattle in the space of a week and everyone loves her, I still ensure that it gets checked out daily just so that nothing bad can be posted about her, but so far it's full of nothing but praise.
"Daddy, you'll make me cry if you carry on talking like that" I see her eyes shining with tears and I snake my hand under the table so that I can squeeze her knee reassuringly.
"I'm just telling the truth, I want Christian here to know what an amazing woman he has found in you, but something tells me that he already does" He nods at me and winks and I know that was his way of saying I have his approval, I feel the ball form in my throat as I nod back and I have to breathe through the outstanding emotion that I am feeling right now.
"Right on that note, I'm going to the bathroom before I really do have a melt down right here at the table. Feel free to talk about me while I'm gone" She kisses Ray on the cheek first and then me before walking across the restaurant floor, she moves with such grace and ease and I cant take my eyes off her, neither can all the other fuckers in here. I notice one guy check her ass out so blatantly that his girlfriend slaps him across the head and calls him a pig. She's mine.
"She means the world to me Christian" I'm snapped back to reality as I hear Ray from in front of me, I look at him and see that he too is watching Ana walk away "No doubt you have already picked up on that already but she does, she will always be my baby girl even when she's married and has babies of her own" His eyes flicker towards mine and he points as he tells me "Don't get any ideas just yet mind you, she's still so young and even though being a parent brings you a lifetime of joy and happiness, I want her to live her life first, do all the things she wants to do and see all the places she wants to see" I can only nod, I want that for her too, I have been thinking about marriage a lot lately and not even ten minutes ago I was picturing what our children would look like, but I know it's all a long way off. I cant promise I will hold off on the marriage front but I decide to keep that to myself.
"I love her so much Ray, I want you to know that I will always protect her and take care of her, on that you have my word"
"I don't doubt that for a minute Christian, but I've seen my baby upset one too many times and I refuse to see it again" I take that as my gentle warning not to hurt her, but the part I heard the most was that she has been upset one too many times.
"Ray, I need to ask you something, and tell me if it's none of my business but I'm desperate to know. What happened when Ana was a teenager? I know that you and her mom divorced and that she re-married several times but that's it, I kind of get the impression more went down than what she is letting on but she won't talk about it with me. What happened?" Ray closes his eyes and when he opens them they look blank.
"Christian, that's not for me to tell you. Ana needs to talk to you about what happened not me" He picks up his half full glass and swirls the remainder of wine as he gazes intently at it.
"So something happened? Look I know I'm asking a lot, but I'm going out of my mind thinking the worst here, did someone hurt her? Did one of her step fathers hurt her?" He slams his glass back onto the table and for a minute I think he's going to rip my head off, but instead he releases a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"I can't tell you son, I just can't. All I will tell you and Ana would kill me for even saying this, but you seem like a good kid and I can see just how much you love my daughter. Something did happen, there was an incident with her step father when she was fourteen. You need to talk to her though Christian, I do think she should tell you but if and when she does is down to Annie. Just be patient okay?" I feel like the room is closing in on me, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach returns and my ears ring with an incessant buzzing.
Something did happen. Incident. Step father. Fourteen.
The words roll around in my head for what feels like forever, I can hear Ray talking to me and I see him pour a glass of water before standing and placing his hand on my shoulder, I feel sick. I am now definitely thinking the worst and all sorts of images are conjuring up in my mind. Was she molested? Or worse was she…Raped? I have to fight the gag in my throat when I think of that possibility and only once do I calm down when I hear my angels voice in my ear.
"Christian, are you okay?" I turn my head and she is sat beside me once again, her hand is stroking my cheek and her eyes are filled with love and concern, worry is etched all over her beautiful face as she scans my own, looking for something, anything to indicate why I am damn near hyperventilating "Christian?"
"I'm fine, baby. Sorry I just came over all funny for a minute there. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I came back from the bathroom and you were sat here stock still not moving, you were breathing heavily I thought you were having a panic attack, are you sure you're okay? Dad, what happened?" She turns to Ray and to his credit he doesn't look guilty, I need for him to cover for me, if he tells her what we were talking about I'll break down right here and now.
"He told me that he was feeling warm and light headed, I gave him some water and he soon calmed down, don't worry, Annie he's okay" She doesn't look convinced, she looks from her father to me and back again until finally nodding and relaxing into her chair once more. I need to get her alone and soon, I can't go on not knowing for a minute longer.
"Shall we order desert? Ana loved the tiramisu last time we were here didn't you, baby?" I grasp her hand and force out the fakest fucking smile of my life, praying that she stops looking at me like I am lying.
"Yeah it was to die for, you should definitely try it dad" Thank Christ.
"Ana, can you come to Escala tonight please? I really need to talk to you" I whisper into her ear as I help her put her jacket on, Ray is behind us making small talk with the coat clerk.
"Why? Christian I can't just leave my dad, what's so important it can't wait until tomorrow?"
"Please, baby don't ask questions, I wouldn't ask unless it was important" She looks at me for the longest time, I try and keep my expression blank but I know I look scared right now, and the truth is I am scared. I'm scared to have this conversation and I'm petrified to hear what she has to say.
"Let me talk to my dad okay? Stay here" She walks over to Ray and whispers into his ear, he looks at me and instantly catches on to why I have asked her to stay. After a few more minutes they both walk over to me and Ray nods in my direction. He gets it. I take Ana's hand and we all head towards the elevator where Taylor and Sawyer are waiting.
"Sawyer, a word please?" I motion for him to step away and follow me as I move out of ear shot "I want you to drive Mr Steele back to Miss Kavanagh's apartment, I will ride with Ana and Taylor. Remain stationed outside until I call you okay"
"Yes, Sir"
We all ride the elevator to the ground floor in complete silence, the tension is so palpable you could cut it with a knife. I'm pissed at myself for even bringing this up tonight now, I know it has tarnished the evening but I had to know and now I do know I wish I didn't. My grip on Ana's hand is so tight, I even hear her wince slightly but I don't let up, I need to feel her right now, I need to know she's with me.
Once the valet brings Sawyer's car around Ana flings her arms around Ray's neck, squeezing him tightly and kissing his cheek repeatedly.
"I'll be home first thing daddy okay? We will do breakfast somewhere" He smiles and nods at her before turning to me. He pulls me in for a hug and holds me tightly and whispers in my ear quietly.
"Remember what I said, son. Be patient with her, you're a good kid and she loves you" He may as well have just granted me permission to marry Ana with how emotional I feel right now, I think it's because he is so fiercely protective of Ana just as I am, we both love her to death and someone has hurt her. He knows that it's gunna' cut me up when I hear it and that's why he is being so understanding.
Once we're in the back of the SUV I pull Ana into my arms and tuck her head under my chin, I breathe the scent of her hair in and try to relax as Taylor pulls out of the Columbia Tower parking lot, I plead for him to put his foot down and get there fast because I am at fucking breaking point here.
"Christian, you're really scaring me now. What's wrong?"
"Don't be scared, baby. I promise everything is fine, I just need to talk to you okay? I love you so much and I don't want you to be scared" I stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head, she's here and she's safe.
"Has something happened?"
"Shhh, I'll explain everything when we get home okay. I will tell you everything then" She probably thinks something has happened to Brody, the fucking irony isn't lost on me. I have held off telling her the latest regarding that situation so I wouldn't ruin her weekend with her dad, yet here I am doing just that, bringing up something else entirely. Something that is no doubt a lot more painful for her.
As soon as we reach my penthouse I pull her into the great room, telling her to sit while I fix us a drink. She shrugs her jacket off and sits on the edge of the couch, wringing her hands nervously in front of her as I hand her a tumbler of whiskey, she eyes the liquid in her hand and tentatively takes a sip, where as I pretty much chug half of it down in one.
"What is this about, Christian? You were fine at dinner, did my dad say something to you while I was in the bathroom? Did he say something to piss you off?" I sit on the chair beside her and lean forward so that I am resting onto my knees, I look into her eyes as I mindlessly swirl the whiskey around in the glass.
"Yes, but not what you're thinking. He didn't threaten me or warn me off you or anything, we just got talking and something came up" She frowns and looks at me with a confused expression.
"What did you talk about? Fuck did you talk about Adam? Did my dad tell you stuff about our relationship because if he did you don't need to worry, my dad hated -"
"It wasn't about him Ana, that little prick didn't even come up once"
"What then? Because I am seriously starting to think the worst here Christian" I place the glass onto the table and stand, moving to sit on the edge of the table so that I am closer to her, we are inches apart and I take both of her hands in mine, the slight tremble of her hands doesn't go un-noticed.
"I asked him a question, a question that has been playing on my mind for a while now. I really need for you to be honest with me baby okay?" She looks so scared, and I feel like such a fucking ass for doing this to her but if we plan on moving forward we need to get all this out in the open. No holds barred.
"Okay I'll try, what is it?"
"What happened when you were growing up Ana, talk to me about what happened when your mom got married?" She snickers and rolls her eyes.
"Which time?"
"The second time" Her whole body freezes as the words leave my mouth, I can feel her hands shaking in my hold so I tighten my grip, my own heart rate accelerating as I take in her reaction. She froze. She's scared "Baby? Baby talk to me, tell me what happened?"
"Why are you asking me about that? What did my dad say? What the fuck did he tell you?" Her voice raises with each question and she tries to rip her hands away but I don't let her, I cant let her pull away from me.
"Ana, calm down. Don't get worked up, baby just talk to me. I want to understand what hap -"
"Nothing happened! I don't know what it is you think you know but you're wrong okay" She spits through gritted teeth and yanks away from me with force, standing and walking over to the glass windows, wrapping her arms around her torso as if she is trying to find warmth.
"Ana, I know something has happened, I made Ray talk and tell me" She spins on her heel and nails me to the spot with her cold stare.
"What the fuck did he say? He had no right to tell you anything!"
"Don't be mad at him okay, when you went to the bathroom I cornered him, I didn't leave him with any choice but to tell me something, I know something happened when you were fourteen. Please just talk to me"
"You had no fucking right to put my dad on the spot like that Christian, I made him promise not to tell you and you made him break that promise!"
"What can't he tell me? Please, Ana I am going out of my mind with thinking about this!" I'm standing now, I pull my jacket off and gaze at her. She shivers and looks away, the light hits her face and I can see her eyes shining with tears.
"It's none of your business"
"It is my business, Ana! You are my girlfriend and if someone hurt you I want to fucking know!" I see a tear fall and roll down her cheek, she tries to dash it away but I saw it none the less. In three strides I am in front of her, pulling her into my chest and cradling the back of her neck as she starts to sob.
"Shhh, it's okay sweetheart I'm here, I wont let anyone hurt you I promise, but I need to know what happened to understand, please talk to me Ana" I choke back my own sob and tighten my grip on her, I feel her nod against my chest and I breathe a sigh of relief. Pulling her over to the couch, I tug on her hand and turn so that I am facing her completely. She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she speaks.
"I was fourteen, my parents had been divorced for a few months and life was hard, I missed my dad and wanted nothing more for them to get back together, but I knew that was never going to happen when she met him" I shudder as she says that, her voice dripping with contempt and disgust.
"We were still living in Montesano, not far from my dad and I still got to see him on weekends but it wasn't enough, my mom would constantly talk bad about him and in time I slowly started to resent her, she became selfish and would start going out all the time leaving me on my own. Then she introduced me to her new boyfriend, Steve. I screamed at her for moving on so fast and refusing to give her and Ray another shot, she told me that they would never get back together and that she loved Steve now" She closes her eyes and takes another deep breath, where as I am yet to start breathing again.
"It's okay, baby. Carry on"
"I always had a funny feeling about him, he was a waste of space right from the off. He didn't work and he would constantly sponge off my mom, she was like a pathetic kid in love when she was around him, she practically wiped his own ass for him. Anyway, after a few weeks she moved him in. And that's when it started" My stomach drops, I know what ever she says is going to be awful, I cant stand the thought of anyone upsetting her or hurting her.
"What started to happen?"
"The staring, he would always stare at me. I never even barely spoke to him, I hated him right from the off and wanted nothing more than to leave and never go back, but despite everything I couldn't leave my mom, I didn't trust him and I didn't want her alone with him. Then the touching would start, he would constantly find excuses to touch me. Brushing my hand as I was washed the dishes, pressing up against me whenever he could. He. Made. My. Skin. Crawl. Then he would start saying disgusting shit to me, telling me that I was sexy and beautiful, telling me that he wanted to take care of me" I bring my hand to cover my mouth and take a deep breath, I feel fucking sick. This piece of shit was grooming my girlfriend, the woman I love and it all happened in her own home. The place where she was supposed to feel safe and protected.
"It got worse, a lot fucking worse. He would start following me home from school driving as slow as I would walk, I refused to get in the car with him when he would offer to take me home. I was miserable, he would be there all the time I could never get away from him. I would try and spend more time with dad but I always had to go back there, it was like going back to my own personal hell and there was nothing I could do to escape it. My mom married him after another month even though I begged her not to, I even tried to tell her but she accused me of lying, saying that I was seeking for attention" Her voice wobbles and another tear falls, I take her hands in mine again but that's all I do, I don't want to distract her right now. "Once they were married his true colours started to show, he would become violent and temperamental, he would smash the house up and on occasion my mother's face, she wouldn't leave him though, I hated her for being so weak"
"Did he ever…Did he ever hit you?" I can barely get the words out, they sound so disgusting even in my head.
"I'm getting there, please just be patient with me" Ray's words resound in my head "Be patient with her son" "He would hit my mom then come and find me, stroking my hair and telling me that I was his special girl. I felt sick every time he came near me. He would go through my phone and check my messages, my call list the lot. He found messages from Lucas and hit the roof, you remember me talking about him in Paris- " I nod quickly and say yes, I really don't want to think about the fucker that she lost her virginity too right now.
"They were innocent enough, he was my friend and he completely misconstrued it. He told me that he was only after one thing and that I had to stay away from him, I didn't dare answer back so I just agreed. He made my life hell Christian, about 6 months later I had enough, I had to get out he was suffocating me, I was getting to the point where I didn't even want to get out of bed. So one Sunday while my mom was at work I packed a bag and planned to leave, I was gunna go and stay with Ray. I was going to tell him everything that had happened" Her tears are falling faster now and I cant stop my own escaping, I feel physically sick as she talks. He would touch her and get into her head, no fourteen year old girl should ever be exposed to shit like this.
"What happened, baby? You can tell me"
"He came home. He walked through the door as I was coming down the stairs, he asked me where I was going but I didn't answer. He saw my bag near the staircase and flipped out, screaming at me to tell him where I was going, I snapped and told him that I was leaving. I told him that I hated him and never wanted to see him again, he went for me" She chokes on her words and breaks down crying, I pull her into my chest and rock her from side to side. My chest constricts and I feel like my throat is closing in on me, this is it. "He pinned me against the wall and told me that I wasn't going anywhere, not until he got what he wanted. He tried to kiss me, god it was so disgusting I wanted to be sick right there in the hallway. I slapped him but he slapped me back twice as hard, telling me that I was a cock tease and I that I deserved everything I had coming to me. He had his hand around my neck as he kissed my face, his lips were fucking everywhere I can still feel them now. He dragged me into the living are and pushed me onto the couch, I was crying and begging for him to stop but he wouldn't, he hit me until I felt like I was going to pass out. My shirt was ripped open and that's when I really started to fight, I was kicking and hitting him but he didn't flinch, it only angered him more" She takes a shuddering breath as I continue to rock her, the tears are falling down my face at a rapid speed now and I'm powerless to stop them.
"Are you okay? I can stop if it's too much" She sobs against my shirt, even now she is worried about me and my feelings, this woman is unbelievable. I pull her tighter to me and tell her I'm okay
"He went for the button my jeans, even with one hand he was incredibly strong, too strong for me and once he got them open I screamed at the top of my lungs, I really thought he was going to rape me Christian, I was so scared, so scared. He told me that it was going to be rough and fast and to brace myself, that's when he fell forward and landed on top of me. My mom was standing over us. She had smashed a vase over his head and knocked him out. I pushed him off me and all I remember was feeling numb, I felt so numb and I couldn't stop shaking. I remember the police being there and talking to me. I remember my mom crying and holding me, telling me over and over again how sorry she was and how she would never forgive herself for letting me down. Then I remember my dad coming for me, he came to the hospital as they were examining me, he took one look at me and picked me up, he carried me out of the hospital and there wasn't one person alive that was going to try and stop him" Her sobs subside slightly and all that is left are sniffles and whimpers.
"What happened after that, baby? You're doing so well"
"I stayed with dad, I didn't want anything to do with my mom. She may have saved me from getting raped but it was too late, she put me in that position and I just couldn't forgive her, she accused me of lying when I tried to tell her what was going on and that sticks with me, I cut all contact with her for about a year. I didn't want her in my life and I wasn't interested in her pathetic attempts at an apology. My dad got me counselling and taught me self defence. I slowly started to get my life back on track and I eventually went back to school, I was still petrified every damn day of my life but I refused to let it control me. In the end I decided to give my mom another chance, things were good for a while but it was never the same, she married again and I was pushed to the side once more. We see each other every now and then but we're not close, I don't tell her things and I don't confide in her. I love her and I forgive her for what she did but I cant forget"
"What happened with him? Was he arrested?" I stroke her hair and circle my thumbs against her bare arm.
"He was initially but then he was released on bail, that's when he ran. He left the country and the police lost all sight of him, that was nine years ago"
"So he's still out there? No one ever found him?" I feel my blood boil, this son of a fucking bitch tried to rape a fourteen year old girl and got away with it? Where is the fucking justice in that bullshit?!
"I know what you're thinking and I want you to get it out of your head, Christian"
"What?"
"You're thinking about how you can trace him. But I don't want you to, this is why I was scared to tell you. I don't want you to look for him Christian okay"
"But, Ana he -"
"No" She sits up and looks at me, she has smeared mascara underneath her eyes and her hair is now starting to come loose but she still looks so incredibly beautiful
"I don't want him found Christian, that means I will have to relive it all again and I don't want to. I can't do it, promise me you won't look for him" How can she make me promise that, I am literally shaking with fucking rage right now. I want this mother fucker caught and brought to me so that I can torture him to the point that he begs me for his life, I want to squeeze every last miserable breath out of him with my bare hands and I want to do it now. But Ana is more important to me than that, she doesn't want him found and I have to respect that. I need to take care of her now. I stroke her cheek with my knuckles and kiss her lips softly.
"I promise, you have my word" She closes her eyes and exhales. I can only imagine how light she must feel right now, she has just shared the biggest and most painful secret of her life with me and I am so thankful, now that I know this I can understand her better. It all makes sense now, why she froze when Brody had her against the wall and why she didn't want to tell me about the first time he got rough with her. I clench my teeth together as I think about that and breathe through the rage. She's with me now, she's safe, I won't let anyone hurt her ever again.
"Thank you for telling me baby, I am so incredibly proud of you" She smiles softly at me and leans against my chest once more. I feel her breathing slow and I know that she has fallen asleep. I gently lift her into my arms and carry her towards the bedroom.
I lay her down and slide her dress down and off her body, usually I would be a hard as a rock at the sight of her in just her underwear but sex is the last thing on my mind right now, I just want to hold her and keep her safe. I strip my own clothes off in record time and climb into bed beside her and pull her into my arms, I bury my nose in her hair relish the feel of her pressed against me. She's with me now, she's safe, I won't let anyone hurt her ever again.
Brody's POV
"I don't want it" I push the plate of food away as soon as Dylan places it in front of me. I don't even fucking want to be here.
"Tough. You need to eat so eat"
"Why the fuck do you even care?"
"Because for some reason I still love you, and I am sick of watching you throw your life away. Enough is enough" He sits across from me at the table and pushes the plate in front of me once more"
"Yeah, you love me that much you won't even let Megan be around me. I heard you telling her to stay with her sister this morning. I'm not a fucking idiot"
"Neither am I, you are taking fucking cocaine Brody. I love you but I refuse to allow my pregnant wife to be around you right now. I don't trust you not to hurt her" This is what my life has come to? My own friends don't trust me.
"Why did you bring me here then?!"
"To get you help! Because you sure as shit aren't getting it anywhere else right now!"
"I told you before, I don't want you're fucking help. It's not you that I need" He scoffs and laughs as he looks at me.
"Who is it you need then? Cassidy? You have seriously lowered your standards with that one Brody"
"Fuck no, she's just there when I want sex"
"And coke?"
"Got it in one. But it's not her I'm talking about. It's Ana" He lowers his head and groans.
"Brody, you seriously need to get her out of your head. She's with Christian now"
"She doesn't fucking want to be, she loves me still I know she does. He has just brain washed her and turned her against me, but I know she loves me not him"
"Why isn't she here then? You need to let her go, this isn't helping-" I throw the plate across the room and stand as it smashes against the wall.
"Shut the fuck up Dylan! You know fuck all about me and Ana, she'll come back for me I know she will" He just stares at me pissing me off even more, how fucking dare he judge my girl and what we have. "I don't have to listen to this, I'm leaving" I head for the door and go to open it but find that it's locked.
"Where the fuck are the keys? Open the door Dylan"
"No, you're not leaving until you start to get your shit sorted. I have a doctor coming to see you first thing in the morning. And when he does he's going to refer you to a rehab centre, you're going to get clean and get your life back on track" I tug at my hair and pull roughly.
"No! You can't fucking do this to me, I need to get to Ana. I need to get her back let me out!" I kick the door repeatedly but I know it's no use, he's keeping me here and he wont let me go. But the longer I'm here the longer I am away from my girl, I need to see her so I can get her back. I need to.
"You're not going anywhere Brody, this is the where this fucking shit stops you got me! It stops here" I bang my head against the door and slide down it, I feel so restless and weak, the feeling of tiredness washes over me again and I want nothing more than to just fucking get away from this asshole. I bring my knees to my chest and drop my head against them. I hear Dylan's feet shuffle and I know he is walking away. He's leaving me. They all fucking leave me. If he thinks he can keep me trapped here like a fucking prisoner he's got another thing coming, I don't even know why I was ever friends with this sap in the first place. Was he always this annoying?
I couldn't give a shit that he left Cassidy, she is the least of my problems and if I'm honest I couldn't give a fuck what happens to her. The only person I care about is Ana, and if I have to play along with Dylan and his self help bullshit then I will. I'll see the fucking doctor and I'll pretend that I'm willing to go to rehab.
But as soon as I can get out of here, I'm going to get her.
A/N 2 - I always wanted the original trilogy to delve further into what happened with Ana and husband number three, I think there was always a reason why Ana was so shy and reserved until she met Christian. Even though my Ana is more stronger and sexually empowered, this was my take on what happened without there being any actual forced sexual intercourse.