Hi darlings…! For those who haven't seen the cockles thingies, check out the cockles tag on tumblr x) I also posted the URLs on my AO3 profile but I don't know how to link it lol sorry…! A quick note as to why we don't see Dean's POV… I started writing this story with Cas' POV and thought it was quite charming to guess what Dean's thinking and I try to convey his POV with words and looks and so on… I know I'm missing 1000 chances to explore his character and I hate that sometimes too because it's often difficult and there are million things I have in mind for Dean… Regarding all the plot questions, I hope they will become clear within the next chapters… stay patient please x) Now, enough talk!

Chapter 25

They ended up sitting in Castiel's car, parked in front of Dean's apartment complex, talking for several quarter-hours. None of them wanted the evening to end, and Castiel was swearing inwardly that he had to get up early tomorrow, recognizing out of the corner of his eye that the car's clock was already wandering to 1 a.m.. They were babbling about various topics, ranging from books they had read or bands and movies they liked, and Castiel was growing fond of the hearty laughter he provoked when he told Dean he liked Twisted Sister and hair-metal in general, defending his taste by reciting some of their songs' lyrics. Dean, in his stead, made Castiel cry tears with laughter when he confessed his fear of flying and how he had puked three times during an interstate flight that took only two hours.

"I don't understand how you manage it", Dean said with an exhaled laughter, wiping the tears out of his eyes.

"I drive everywhere, absolutely everywhere. You wouldn't bring my ass into another plane, not for a million bucks."

Castiel grinned and shrugged his shoulders, unable to wipe the broad grin off his face.

"I don't have a choice, apart from that I also fancy the tomato juice they serve", he explained; he laughed the moment he saw Dean retched and acted as if he had to throw up.

"Oh, I think I've got to go now, before you continue talking about healthy vegetable beverages, ugh."

Castiel refused to be impressed by Dean's statement, he just looked him deeply in the eyes for a few seconds, his hand brushing over Dean's broad shoulder nonchalantly, his thumb idly drawing small patterns on his shirt.

"I think that's the third time you said you had to go", he teased, and Dean laughed again; briefly he leant forward and kissed Castiel's cheek several times, it felt awkwardly affectionate and sweet, and it made Castiel smile. Dean withdrew slowly from him and took Castiel's hands in his, a tiny smile dancing on his mouth; they were completely absorbed in each other, drowning in the joyful light of their eyes, while they held hands gently.

"What will you do while I'm gone?", Castiel asked quietly, a lopsided smirk crawling to his lips. His lids fluttered the moment he felt Dean's fingers stroking the back of his hands and the delicate skin of his wrists; it was difficult to keep his eyes open when these wonderful, cautious caresses made his heart flutter and his skin tickle. God, he was incapable of saying goodnight to Dean, he never wanted to miss these lovely touches, this gorgeous sight, talking to him about nothing and everything at once...

"Well, there's work, and then there's work, oh... and Sammy promised to visit me, so I guess I'm booked out."

It brought a bitter taste to Castiel's mouth, when he remembered that not everything in his or Dean's life was just love, peace and harmony. Castiel still had to arrest a serial killer, and Dean was still working in the brothel at the weekends. He wished he knew a way how to find another solution for Dean's problems, but he feared he wasn't having the right to tell him what to do and what to stop – they only knew each other for roughly six weeks now, and though these weeks had seemed all in all life-changing and extremely important to Castiel, he felt it would be inappropriate to judge Dean for the way he was handling things. So he just bit his tongue and choked down the huge aching knot, which was strangling him slowly but surely, the mere thought that Dean would be together with other men and women this weekend driving him insane. He needed to put these thoughts aside, they were of no use – so he just clenched his jaw and forced a smile when he looked at Dean, feeling his heart break, piece by piece. It was unjust that a good-hearted, young man like Dean was forced to let others defile him, that Castiel wasn't allowed to keep him all to himself.

"I know it sounds cheesy, but, you'll call, right?", Dean questioned hesitantly, the nervousness seeping through his words, and worry flared up in his dark green eyes like a fickle flame; he looked down somewhat shyly, making Castiel's chest cringe with affection and love for the man – how could he think he wouldn't call him? How could he even dare to imply he wasn't important enough to him? In an instant Castiel lunged forward and his hands framed Dean's night-chilled cheeks gently; he covered Dean's sinful plump lips with slow, passionate kisses, putting all the emotions welling inside of him into his feverish kisses. He felt Dean relaxed against him and how eagerly he answered to his kisses, sighing softly into his mouth. Dean's fingers crawled to the lapels of Castiel's shirt, tugging adamantly at them to draw him in, and Castiel let Dean lead him through every of their sensual kisses. Their mouths kept saying goodnight to each other, it was palpable that they wanted to remember this for the oncoming days, in which they'd be forced to be separated from each other. Breathless they pulled apart, panting against the other's wet lips, and they stared into each other's dilated eyes for a lengthy moment.

"Dean, I swear to God, if you don't leave right now, I'll eat you up on the spot", Castiel grumbled, conjuring the most adorable grin to Dean's glistening lips, and a knowing expression veiled his eyes when he unbuckled his seatbelt. "And yes, I'll call, of course I'll call!", Castiel grinned, exasperated about his inability to leave Dean yet.

With a laugh Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel's lips chastely, and so sweetly that Castiel felt absolutely dumbstruck. When he opened his eyes again, Dean had gotten out of the car and winked at him, then he said "Night, Cas", and shut the door. Castiel watched him walk away with bouncy steps and Castiel blindly grabbed his cell phone and pressed his speed dial memory. He laughed loudly as he saw how Dean stopped in his tracks, looking down on his phone with an irritated frown – he laughed even louder the moment when Dean declined his call and blew him a kiss with a broad grin. At long last Dean entered the building and disappeared from Castiel's view.

…

During their business trip there were multiple occasions that made Gabe roll his eyes for the umpteenth time, and he often groaned annoyed – Castiel knew he was to blame, because it mostly happened when he was smiling happily whenever he received an SMS from Dean, or when he clumsily wrote an answer. He knew Gabe wasn't really unnerved, because whenever he gave him a quizzical long glance, he saw a tender smile appeared on his partner's pursed lips, and he mumbled something like "infatuated muttonheads, the both of you", or he nudged Castiel's side friendly. He was glad, though, that they had gotten two separate rooms, because it was becoming clear during their very first night in South Dakota, that Dean and him would be having late-night calls, neither of them able to sleep, like lovesick lunatics missing their other half. Castiel had to whisper and speak with hushed words, because the walls to Gabe's neighbouring room were painfully thin and badly soundproofed.

His low, funeral voice seemed to have a certain effect on Dean, because Castiel could hear him curse about the sound of his voice, and how hot he thought it sounded, and it didn't take long for Castiel to make out the gasps and high-pitched moans at the other end of the line. He bathed in Dean's stuttered confessions, what he would love to do with Castiel, and Castiel touched himself to the sound of Dean's voice harshly, to the images the younger man created in his head. He had to stifle several loud moans, remembering he had to be as quiet as possible; it was hard to keep his voice low when he told Dean in his stead what he had dreamt of, how he ached to feel his kisses and his knowing hands again, and that he couldn't wait to be back in town. He was so lost in the moment and the sexual chemistry Dean and him shared that he barely had time to digest the easiness with which he could talk and act these days. Useless to say Castiel's working days were horrendously lengthy, his lack of sleep painting dark circles around his eyes, and though he looked as pale as a corpse, the bright smile on his face and the vivid gleam in his bright blue eyes left no doubt to anyone that he was perfectly happy.

Saturday came and, blessedly, it was a quieter day for Gabe and Castiel – they sat in the café of the hotel, summarizing the results of their investigations here, searching for further witnesses and places they should check out. Castiel groaned and sipped his second cup of coffee, massaging his aching temples; he was beginning to feel overworked, and his neck and shoulders were incredibly sore; Gabe didn't seem to feel better, and in the late afternoon he pushed the large stack of paper on the table aside, patting Castiel's shoulder as if he wanted to wake him up.

"Know what? We should totally have a few beers tonight at the expense of the firm, what do you think?", Gabe suggested, a mischievous smirk blooming on his face, and he clicked his tongue and wiggled his eyebrows. Castiel let his shoulders slouch, wondering how the hell he was supposed to stay awake and have a drink with Gabriel as well – he knew it would only end in a drinking orgy and awful headaches the next morning. Gabe moved closer to him and put a heavy arm around Castiel's shoulder, searching for his eyes as he tilted his head.

"Cassie, you need a break. I've been hearing you talking to Dean-o for the last two nights, and somehow it's all cute, but it's also kind of eerie, unhealthy, don't you think? I mean, look at you! You look like the living dead!"

Castiel let his forehead fall down on the cool table, and for a few seconds he just concentrated on breathing, feeling Gabe's hand moving up and down his back comfortingly. He appreciated Gabe's concern, but there was nothing he could say or do to stop his sweetest downfall - he was already addicted to Dean, and even more so, he absolutely worshipped every minute he could talk to him – apart from that he couldn't stop thinking about him, and he knew damn well what that meant.

"I love him, Gabe...I've fallen head over heels in love with him. So I guess the sleep deprivation is quite natural", Castiel confessed with a tired grumble, and Gabe's hand stopped and froze in place on his back immediately.

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but you sound not too happy about it, or am I just imagining it?", Gabe pried bluntly. Castiel straightened himself and gouged holes into the table top, thinking about Dean and what he was feeling for the man, intermingling it with their living situations and professions. He sighed a gut-wrenching sigh, sensing worry arise within him, overshadowing the weightless joyful emotions that were pumping through him ever since he had laid eyes on the tantalizing, mind-blowing man that Dean was.

"Dean is the best thing that happened to me in years, and I'll be damned if I ever let him go. I know what I want and I will put my back into it, but... I just can't shake off the thought where he is at right now, what he's doing or better, who he's doing it with when I'm not around. Is it selfish that I want him for myself wholly?... I don't know, Gabe. I'm far away from complaining, and I appreciate what I have with him at the moment. I just hope he feels the same..."

For a while both of them were silent, and Castiel was glad for Gabe's company, it felt good to pour his heart out. Gabe patted his back in a friendly way and packed their stuff together, winking at Castiel cheerfully.

"You know, it sounded like you were saying something, but all I can hear are accumulating reasons to get drunk. What do you think?"

Defeated Castiel let out a long, long sigh, then he turned around to Gabe and mischief appeared in his eyes.

…

"Gabe, I kill you! If you ever mix vodka in my drinks again I'll skin you with an old blunt knife", Castiel slurred angrily, while he and Gabe staggered along the hotel's corridor, leaning against each other clumsily for support. Gabe let out a hearty laugh and clutched Castiel's waist amicably, shaking him cheerfully.

"Ah, come on, man! You needed to let some steam off, and now, look at you! The whole world's funny again, isn't it?", he teased, unfortunately not as drunk as Castiel. The whole world wasn't funny, it was a damn carousel, throwing Castiel around mercilessly. His feet felt numb and his head too light, as if it was plotting to grow a pair of wings and fly away – the lamps on the sidewalls were already too blinding for Castiel, flashing painfully before his eyes, and he was glad when he could get inside the pleasant darkness of his own room. He shoved Gabe half-jokingly, half fed up, away and wished him a sarcastic "Good night", then he shut the door and fell down on his bed, an utter nervous wreck by now. Absentmindedly he loosened his tie and removed his shoes and socks. His fingers were awfully lacking any sense of fine motor skills, and after he had managed to open a few buttons of his white shirt, he gave the rest up with an indifferent shrug.

All of a sudden his cell phone vibrated in his black slacks, and he produced it clumsily, realizing that it was two in the morning and that it was Dean calling him. His heart skipped a beat, the worst occurrences coming to his mind – why would Dean call him on a Saturday night, when he was apparently working in the brothel?

He answered the phone, unable to hide the staccato breaths that he exhaled in tensed intervals. Not even alcohol seemed to ease his tongue; however, a part of his nervousness vanished when he heard Dean's rough voice greeting him with a soft undertone resonating in his words.

"Hey, Dean, what's up?", Castiel asked quietly, struggling to keep the treacherous slurring out of his voice. He relaxed against the pillows and felt the oncoming tiredness of his inebriation settle in; Dean's steady soft breaths weren't helping either to keep him awake.

"Ah, nothing, Cas. Just the usual. Had to kick a guy out who wanted it quite brutally and received a nice laceration on my forehead, but apart from that, everything's back to normal. In a few minutes I'll leave for tonight, I just... needed to hear your voice again to cheer me up. Hope you don't mind the late hour..."

In an instant, Castiel was wide awake. He sat up on his bed, only to feel a throbbing headache running through his brain, and the world was swaying back and forth, making him quite nauseous. He gulped down hard and clutched the phone tighter, trying to find his speech again, absolutely horrified.

"D-Dean, are you alright? Are you – are you safe? Please, tell me you're taking a cab home. And if you ever see this son of a bitch again,...", Castiel rattled on, only stopping the moment he heard Dean's soft chuckle to his surprise.

"Cas, what can I say? It's a dangerous gig, but I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. Hell, I already did. The guy decided to take his chance and I took mine, we basically beat the shit out of each other, but that's it. I'm just a little upset and a little disappointed in mankind, but that's nothing new. Now, I suggest you tell me something that's good news or anything that's not about the wicked ways of jerks, what do you say?", Dean joked, and he really sounded barely harassed, so Castiel let out a deep sigh and relaxed again, still somewhat unsettled that Dean had been hurt by some random asshole while he was getting drunk with Gabe.

"Gabe and I are making good progress here, and I think we'll be back in Lawrence next Monday or Tuesday. Oh, and I've just decided I'll spoil you rotten when I'm back, you deserve some time out...", Castiel purred in a deep voice, practically hearing the grin he was placing on Dean's lips. Castiel felt his breath falter when he realized how thick the atmosphere between them had become again, and it made his heart pound rapidly against his ribs over and over again. He flushed when he heard Dean's amused sigh at the other end of the line, the tiny wavering tremble audible in his words.

"Hmm, that sounds promising, Cas... and how would you spoil me?", Dean asked, sounding absolutely tempting, his voice dripping with affection and desire, making it hoarse and terribly gentle. Castiel bit his bottom lip, suppressing an appreciative grunt that was threatening to leave him unasked as an itching wave of heat tickled through his abdomen, and he grinned sheepishly.

"I guess you're not exactly the type for bubble baths or picnics, right?", he teased to buy some time to think.

"Yeah, that's true. I'm helplessly addicted to extensive massages, though", Dean admitted giggly, and Castiel felt an immense weight fall from his shoulders when he heard Dean became more and more eased by the minute. A needy craving to be with him right now made him light-headed, and the mere thought of kneading his strained muscles in detail was enough to make him dizzy; his toes and his fingertips tingled in anticipation, as if they were already reacting to Dean's fervent body warmth, as if he could actually feel his smooth skin and his lean flesh underneath his roaming palms.

"Thank God, at least one thing I'm quite good at", Castiel responded, an affectionate gleam in his glance.

"You better prove it, because I'll keep you to your word", Dean laughed, and Castiel could hear him shut a door, he was probably leaving the brothel, and soon Castiel heard his shoes scrunching over the pebbles outside the building. A second caller seemed to be in the line, because Castiel could hear a constant signal noise ringing out, making him frown.

"Is this for you or me?", he asked, hearing Dean chuckle breathlessly.

"It's most likely my brother Sammy, wondering when I'm coming home. Told you he was going to visit me", Dean explained, drowning the annoying sound with his voice until it stopped. "Conveniently, whenever he's around he also wants to catch up with old friends and not only with his lame-ass older brother, so I don't see him in the evenings – spares me a lot of explaining I would have to do otherwise, but I hate lying to him, even if it's only regarding my whereabouts."

"Well, it's totally understandable", Castiel agreed pensively, wondering if Dean had told anybody in his circle of friends and acquaintances what he was doing to pull Sam through law school - he highly doubted it. Dean seemed like a lone wolf who rather coped with problems on his own; all the more Castiel appreciated that Dean was opening up to him so freely, sharing his thoughts and sorrows with him quite trustfully. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hardly noticed Dean sighed and that silence had lingered between them for a few seconds.

"Listen, Cas...", Dean said gently, producing restlessness in his bones, a wave of longing and affection splashed over him. He smiled gingerly, relishing the way Dean pronounced his name... it sounded so intimate, so close...

"Thank you for lending me a sympathetic ear, I really needed that tonight. I don't know, it's weird... whenever I talk with you I feel like my problems are laughable, you make everything seem so easy and... I just wanna thank you for listening."

"Any time you like, Dean, I'll be there, answering your call", Castiel said with a smile, his heart permeated with the humble gratefulness Dean had shown him. It did him a world of good to know he could help Dean, that he appreciated their conversations just as much as he did; Castiel felt feather-light, he basked in the lovely feeling that was tightening his chest, underlined his intoxicated condition; he smiled dizzily when his eyes fell shut. They ended up purring sweet nothings to each other, exchanging corny comments about each other's eyes, morals and kisses – they hung up when Dean reached his apartment, and Castiel could feel it in his bones how good-humoured and soothed Dean was feeling by now, due to their phone talk. In his drunken state, Castiel lay in bed, unable to sleep yet. He focussed on the soft thuds of his heart, completely soaked through and bleeding with the love it felt for Dean. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to wipe the fond smile off his mouth.

TBC

Soooo… what do you think? Things will gather speed during the next chapters, promised x) next update will be on Friday!