Hey everyone, me again. Sorry for the late update. I got to work on Chapter 26 and got lost in it before realising I hadn't updated yet. Sorry about that.

Also, some of the dialogue from this is borrowed from Vampire Diaries...just in case anyone notices. Also...lemon warning.

Enjoy.

When he pulled the car up outside the house Spike shut down the engine and pulled himself out of the vehicle. He slammed the door shut and barely acknowledged Alucard as he stalked up to his front door. Ripping the keys from his pocket, he shoved it into the lock and twisted it open. He headed straight upstairs to start packing everything for Buffy and Dawn. He heard Alucard do the same for Tara's as he headed into the guest room, but again did not acknowledge what the older vampire was doing.

Gratitude.

His mind was playing that word over and over again in his head, usually in Giles' voice as he folded and stored away the clothes and various belongings of the Summers girls. In spite of his agitated state, he was careful and precise with each article of clothing and each item he stored away. Even so, that god forsaken word kept repeating itself.

Gratitude.

He hated that Giles had brought up the nature of his relationship with Buffy, if it could even be called that. And it infuriated him that Giles had implied that Buffy was only allowing this development in their relationship because of her gratitude towards him due to his unwavering support when she had first returned to the mortal world. And the reason it infuriated him was because a part of him, in fact a large part of him, was terrified that Giles was right.

He and Buffy were never simple when it came to what was first an association of convenience that slowly shifted into what they were now. They clashed often, they took shots at each other and almost all of their disagreements had turned physical at the start, but they had always respected each other. Somewhere along the line that had changed. And he knew exactly when that had been and it had been when he allowed himself to be tortured pretty much to death in order to protect Dawn.

And that shift had been due to her appreciating his actions, just like now with her return from heaven. She had immediately latched onto him to hold her together. And now, there was a stupid nagging sensation in his mind that her sleeping with him was also motivated by her gratitude.

Spike snarled, slamming the suitcase down and leant heavily on the top of it. Part of him wondered if it was best if he gave Buffy some space now that they were back in Sunnydale. Give her time to properly sort out her feelings for him and see if they were real.

The rest of him, the selfish side of him, was afraid that all that would lead to her telling him those feelings were not real.

He sighed deeply and picked up first of the cases he had packed and began to move them down the stairs. After he had returned their belongings to Revello Drive, he decided he was going to find something to kill. Violence was always therapeutic.

It took him two trips to get most of the cases into his car. He was bringing down the last of Dawn's things when he heard Alucard clear his throat. He looked at the older vampire who was standing in the doorway to the dining room, having removed his long coat leaving him in his dark violet silk shirt and black leather trousers. Alucard had already loaded up Tara's belongings and had been waiting for Spike.

Alucard beckoned him in with two fingers before turning into the room. Spike frowned and followed him to see a bottle of whiskey, the Black Dog brand, along with two glasses set up on the table. The First Vampire was already seated. Alucard gestured to the other chair and proceeded to fill both glasses. Spike slowly slid into his seat as the other vampire slid a glass to him.

"What's this?" Spike inquired curiously. Alucard grunted in amusement.

"I thought the meaning was obvious." He answered. "Have a drink."

"Why?"

"Because you need it." He raised his own glass and took a swig. He rolled the liquid in his mouth for a moment before swallowing. "And you know why. If you go out in your current state, you'll kill something…and it may be a kill you can't take back, making this whole situation with Buffy especially complicated." Spike sighed before conceding his point and took the glass to his lips. He took a mouthful, feeling the burn of the beverage as it went down and let out an unneeded breath.

"Maybe you're right." Spike said as Alucard crossed his legs, taking another slower mouthful. "I've found recently that uh…a stiff drink…"

"Takes the edge off." Alucard finished for him understandingly. At Spike's nod, Alucard smiled wryly with a short hum of agreement as he swirled his drink. He watched the liquid as it moved in his glass. "Even after all these centuries, I've found that having a drink makes the thirst more manageable, especially when angry." He downed his glass and pouring himself another. "It soothes the ache…but never pushes it away." He put the bottle down and leant back with a sigh. "It's a shame others of our kind have not found this method appealing," he chuckled dryly, "since, as I said, it takes the edge off our darker impulses."

"Is it harder?" Alucard raised his gaze to Spike who was regarding him questioningly. "The hunger for blood. As you grew older, has it grown stronger?" There was a moment of silence before Alucard nodded gravely.

"Indescribably." He admitted. Spike snorted humourlessly before downing his glass and refilling it.

"I suppose I'd better start saving up then." Alucard hummed in amusement as the two vampires slipped into companionable silence for a few moments. Then Alucard cleared his throat.

"You don't actually believe anything the Watcher was saying, do you?" Spike's gaze met his forlornly and he sighed in slight disappointment. "I thought you'd have more faith in Buffy than that."

"I know I don't deserve her." Spike answered.

"I do not deserve Mina," Alucard returned smoothly, "but yet here we are. Both of us…in love with a Slayer." He chuckled, taking another swig of whiskey. "Such terrible vampires we make. Me especially, as the First I was supposed set the example." Spike laughed quietly before Alucard went on. "You should already know that loving a Slayer is difficult, Spike."

"Don't I know it?" The younger vampire replied cynically. "She always has cared about the opinions of those…fucking idiots more than she should."

"I think that changed when they tore her out of heaven, don't you?" Alucard pursed his lips, feeling the ripple of annoyance running through him as he spoke that particular fact. "Buffy has changed a great deal since her return, has she not?" Spike gave small roll of his eyes.

"There's still a chance that they'll be able to worm their way into her head. Trust me, it's a gift they have." He licked his lips before raising his whiskey. "And I love her enough to know that if she tells me that what we have isn't real…." He trailed off as Alucard listened carefully. "I couldn't take it if Giles is right. And I definitely couldn't live with myself if I ended up giving her a reason to believe what the Watcher was saying." Alucard was quiet for a moment as he watched Spike take a drink.

"It's a fear that you're going to have to grow accustomed to living with, Spike." The younger vampire raised his eyes to his as he spoke. "It would be a lie if I told you that my relationship with Mina has not seen its share of hardships. There were many times I gave her plenty of reason to walk away. Plenty of reason to doubt. But she didn't. Even when I was at my worst, she remained." Alucard smiled and, for the first time, Spike saw the layers Alucard had draped around himself melt away.

"There are times where I want nothing more than for Mina to walk away and find someone more worthy." Then Alucard's voice became husky and his eyes glowed with a passion so strong Spike could have sworn he felt his heart beat. He knew that feeling all too well. "And there are others where I just want to throw her into my bed and never let her leave." He gave a boyish grin. "And she has told me plenty of times she would be more than willing for the second option." Spike laughed to himself.

"Buffy has been…abandoned by every man she has ever loved." Spike sighed as he spoke. "I would never do that to her but…they're right when they say I'm not worthy of her."

"No one is worthy of Slayer's heart." The older vampire replied gently. "And yet you and I were chosen by them."

"Buffy hasn't given me her heart." Spike muttered and that earned him a chuckle.

"Maybe that's what you see…" He frowned looking up at Alucard only to receive a mysterious smile in response over a half drunk glass of whiskey.

…

"…Spike was more honest with me when we trying to kill each other than anyone else has ever been in my life!" Buffy shouted furiously as she glared at her intransigent Watcher. They had been arguing for the better part of an hour and it only served to greatly upset her. She held up her hands as he went to respond. "I'm done with this. I'm beyond fucking done. With. This!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe that you trying to tell me Spike is the problem in my life when the First Evil is knocking on my fucking door!"

"Spike's presence here is just serving to distract you, Buffy!" Giles shot back angrily. "Whatever feelings you believe you have for him won't let see you to that."

"Do you want to know what I see?" Buffy said so bitterly that her Watcher felt himself tense. Never in their time together had she ever addressed him with such scorn. "I see the people who I thought were my best friends, my surrogate family, judging me because I won't conform to the perceived standards they believe I should live by." Her lip coiled in disgust as she glared at him. "And I also see them and my Watcher, the man I once thought of as a father," Giles's face morphed into a hurt expression at those words, "ignoring the real problem because, once again, I've put my trust in a vampire who has shown himself to be more human than the three of them combined!" The older man recoiled in shock at her words as she breathed heavily in her anger.

"Buffy, you need to learn…"

"No," she cut him off coldly, "I think you've taught me everything I need to know." She shook her head as he gazed at her in agony, her face marred by the disgust she was feeling towards her former Watcher as well as the rest of the old Scoobies. With a sneer, she turned and headed to the door.

"Buffy…" Giles called after her, completely caught off guard by the sudden contempt she was showing towards him.

"Tell Willow and Xander that they're not needed anymore. Tara and Dawn will take care of finding out what I need to do to beat this thing." She looked at him over her shoulder disdainfully. "In fact…I think the three of you will just get in the way since you obviously can't see the big picture." She hissed as she turned and pulled open the door. Before exiting however, she stopped in the doorway but kept her back to Giles as she sighed. Suddenly, she was very sad and feeling almost alone.

"It's funny. I figured that if anyone could see what the real problem was….it would've been you." She whispered dejectedly. She let that hang between them for a moment, not seeing Giles lower his head before she stepped out and shut the door with quiet, final click.

Buffy did not bother with a patrol. She went straight home, the creatures of the night that always emerged when the moon rose wisely kept clear of her. After a brisk ten minute walk, aided by her supernatural speed, she was marching up the walkway leading to her front porch. She reached the door and, after unlocking it, she entered the house.

Slipping off her jacket, she immediately noticed the small collection of cases in the living room, indicating Spike and Alucard had done as asked. She frowned, seeing that Dawn's and Tara's suitcases were missing before she spied a note on the table. Picking it, Buffy smiled as she recognised Dawn's handwriting.

Hey, Buffy.

I've gone to Tara's to spend the night with her. I don't being in the house is good for her right now. She was really upset after the whole thing with Xander and Willow so I wanted to make sure she was okay.

I'll see you tomorrow, sis.

Love Dawn.

P.S. Tell Spike I said goodnight.

Shaking her head in amusement, Buffy laid the note back down on the table top, feeling a rush of pride towards her sister and her thoughtfulness. Dawn was always far more mature than she had been given credit for. As she kicked off her shoes she heard the back door open. She sighed as she heard the familiar sounds of boots coming through the kitchen and into the foyer. She glanced over her shoulder, seeing Spike lean against the wall.

"Hey." She greeted. He gave a small smile.

"Hey, back." She turned to him and nodded for him to take off his duster and boots. She hung up his coat as he left his boots by the door. "How'd the talk with the Watcher go?" He inquired as they walked back into the lounge. Her lip twitched in cynical amusement

"Terrible." She replied honestly turning to him. He snorted a little.

"Figures. You okay?" He replied. She shook her head slowly, biting her lip.

"Not really. You?" She returned. Spike's mouth curled as he ducked his head.

"Same." Buffy smiled slightly and they slid in silence for a few moments. For the first time four months, barring those first two weeks when she had slipped into severe depression, the air between them was awkward. It was an uneasy sensation, in fact it was as if they had gone back to being reluctant allies. They seemed unsure what to say to each other before, finally, Spike cleared his throat. "Buffy, uh, I think we should talk…" he ducked his head, approaching her.

"Is this about what Giles said earlier?" She interrupted. His head came up, his expression surprised. The corner of her mouth curled into a very slight smirk. "I know you were listening in." He lowered his gaze before looking away for a moment. "You don't actually think that this is all this is, right?" he turned his gaze back to her as she looked at him, imploringly. "That everything we've had over the past four months is because of gratitude?" He shrugged.

"I don't know really know what to think, if I'm honest." Spike admitted. "Though…Giles did say some things that…"

"Oh, come on." She sighed in exasperation. "Not you as well, Spike?" She questioned tiredly. "You know me better than that." He huffed, leaning his head to one side for a moment.

"I know things have changed…"

"Yeah." She seized onto that as she raised her hands to her sides. "Yeah, things have changed." She dropped her arms. "I've changed. And so have you, Spike." She tilted her head as she gazed at him beseechingly. "And I'm happy about that. We were…at least until Giles decided to stick his nose where it doesn't…"

"Do you know what would make me happy?" Buffy paused with a frown at his interruption. Spike went on, glancing at the ceiling as he spoke. "That for first time in my entire life whatever feelings the woman, who I'm completely in love with, has for me being real." He finished meaningfully. Buffy's mouth dropped open in shock as she stared him incredulously.

"You think that what I'm feeling isn't real?" she repeated. "It is real. I wouldn't be so pissed off with Giles if it wasn't. I wouldn't be having this argument with you if they weren't real." She shook her head harshly. "And I, sure as hell, wouldn't be fighting as hard as I'm going to be to convince you to not do what you're about to." He snorted quietly.

"And what am I about to do, Buffy?" She bit her lip, her head giving another little shake.

"You're about to take the high road. You're going to do right thing and back off because you want me to be 'sure' of what I want when you don't need to." She begged, moving forward. "Spike, don't take the high road." He retreated a little as she came towards him pleadingly. "Don't that to me."

"You think I want to do that, Buffy?" He demanded, his face a mask of disgust at the very suggest. "I'm not the hero, remember? I'm a vampire." Buffy's eyes watered as he spoke, gazing at his chest for moment before swallowing back her tears and meeting his gaze. "I drink people's blood, I don't care about the consequences." He throw his arm out sharply in frustration. "I betray my sire, I fall in love with the Slayer," he stabbed his finger at himself angrily, "I don't do the right thing!"

Buffy eyed him, a single tear slipping through her defences. She watched the anger drain from his handsome features only to be a replaced by resignation. His ocean blue eyes roamed her face helplessly as he breathed in deeply and unnecessarily, shaking his head slowly.

"But I have to do the right thing by you." He finished in a whisper, helplessly. Buffy came towards him again. This time he did not retreat as she neared him.

"Then don't walk away from this." She breathed. "Because right now, the 'right' thing for you do by me is to kiss me," Spike whet his lips, blinking rapidly, "and to not stop until I tell you." He swallowed, shaking his head. But she could see it, whatever weak measure of restraint he had managed to rally within himself was already fading.

"Buffy…" began.

"Don't talk, Spike." She demanded fiercely as she gripped his shoulders tightly. "Either turn around and walk out the door. Or shut up. And. Fucking. Kiss. Me!" Her green eyes burnt with passion as she emphasised each word with a ferocity only someone who felt they were about to lose something precious could muster.

Spike's eyes searched hers for a long moment before he found whatever he was looking for. Then he surged forwards, smashing his lips to hers with a fearsome desperation.

Buffy inhaled sharply as his hands cupped her face, her eyes falling shut. She moaned, her fingers tangling with his hair as he backed her up. She let out muffled grunt when her back hit the wall before she mewled as his lips broke from hers to assault her throat. She panted heavily, her head rolling back under the sweet torture of his mouth. His knee found its way between her thighs and her back arched as it pressed against her heated sex. She ground down on him as Spike pulled her closer with a growl.

She pushed him back slightly, her eyes smouldering at his heated gaze, before grabbing his hand and leading him to the stairs. Not that it mattered as before they even reached them, Spike whirled her around and consumed her lips once more. She gave a deep moan as his tongue pried her lips open and invaded her mouth, relishing in his unique taste, noticing the hint of whiskey in his flavour.

She wondered how they even managed to make it upstairs. They staggered as one up each step, groping and clawing at each other frenziedly as they made the ascent. She only knew they reached top when she hit the wall again, Spike's mouth pressing firm caresses to her throat as she arched into him. She yelped when he jerked her up, her legs wrapping instinctively around his waist as he turned into the master bedroom.

Buffy whined as they collapsed onto the mattress and began to frantically undress each other, whilst sharing hard, devouring kisses. She practically tore Spike's shirt off as she yanked it over his head and tossed it carelessly across the room before her hands began tugging at his belt. She could feel his hard length against her thigh and needed him desperately. She gasped as Spike's cold hands slid under her clothes to caress her sides and back as she pulled on the buckle of his belt.

After it came undone with a satisfying click, she flipped them over so she was straddling his waist. She wrenched her own shirt over her head, throwing it with the same carelessness as Spike's, and snapped her bra undone before hurling it away. She half-grunted, half moaned as Spike's mouth immediately clasped around her right breast, his tongue and teeth torturing her nipple deliciously as she cradled his head to her chest. All the while she bucked her hips violently, their groins grinding together as Spike growled into her chest and his fingers dug into her back.

Buffy let her head tilt back with throaty whimper before Spike returned the favour and flipped her onto her back. She inhaled sharply as his mouth captured hers again, their teeth gnawing at each other's violently. She popped the button to his jeans and tugged the zipper down before using her feet to push them down as far she could, his marble like skin almost glowing in the lowlight. Spike made short work of the clasp to her combats and jerked them down her legs along with her panties, dropping them to the floor.

Buffy shuffled back on the bed as Spike prowled towards her like a panther, gloriously naked. She gasped as he tugged her towards him, her legs spreading off their own accord as he settled between them. Without any warning, his hand was between them and the next instant his cock parted her folds and speared inside her. She cried out in pleasure, mixed with a hint of pain, at the unexpected invasion before Spike was pounding into her, growling both sensually and savagely with each thrust as she shrieked in delight. His hands were fisted in the bedding by her head as his hips pistoned into hers, their flesh slapping together as the bed groaned beneath their violent love-making.

Only, perhaps, making love was not the phrase to be used.

This was different. It was a primal, savage and animalistic need to placate the doubts that had been provoked by the words and actions of a certain Watcher earlier that evening. It was an all-encompassing urge to prove to each other that what was between them was real. It was pain, it was joy, it was pleasure…and it was right.

Buffy's hands scratched down Spike's back, leaving small bloody streaks in his skin before they settled on his firm buttocks and pushed him into her forcefully. Spike trailed his own hand down her leg before he gripped firmly just above her ass as he continued his deliriously hard rhythm into her. Buffy felt her womb begin to coil in preparation, her walls began to pulse sensually and her legs began to quiver erratically as Spike drove into her. Their eyes locked heatedly, sharing something deep and profound as they panted into each other's mouths, the thin layer of sweat on Buffy's skin glistening in the low light and gradually soaking the sheets.

Buffy soon found herself unable to keep her gaze locked to his as her eyes clenched shut and she grit her teeth when it all became too much. A surge of white, hot, ecstasy like energy surged through her as Spike reared back and suddenly buried himself to the hilt inside her warm depths with a ferocious snarl of completion. She screamed his name in rapture, her hands gripping his rear, her walls clenching around him like a vice as she thrust her hips firmly against him, trying to milk as much of his release from him as possible before her orgasm died down.

Gradually the high withered down as Buffy whimpered, and her hips lowered to the bed shakily. For a few moments they lay tangled together in a sweaty, spent and breathless heap of limbs as they petted and stroked each other tenderly, in stark contrast to their earlier savagery. Then, with reluctant groan from Spike and mewl of protest from Buffy, he slipped out of her and flopped onto the bed next to her.

Buffy gulped, her chest heaving for air as Spike was panting next to her. It was a strange comfort for him to breathe whilst he was with her, even though he did not need to. Yet another small symptom of the humanity nobody said he had. She stared dazedly up the ceiling for a few moments, trying to gather her scattered thoughts.

"Don't take the high road, Spike." He raised his head at her whispered words and frowned. "Stay here…with me." He swallowed, still panting unnecessarily.

"Why?" he asked curiously. Buffy turned to look him and he was struck by the vulnerability and the desire to say something she knew she could not say truthfully just yet. Her hand reached over and took hold of his, their fingers lacing together palm to palm as she gazed at him with a warm adoration that had compelled him to stay right where he was. Her next words, whilst entirely unneeded, more than sealed the deal.

"Because I'm not ready for you to not be here."

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