What Makes a Man?
Chapter 24
Gotham City Police Department
Commissioner Gordon's Office
Batman and Batgirl sat patiently in Gordon's office. Following the startling revelation from Itzak, it had been necessary to have him identify the body of his brother, Nells Kalinsky. A man wanted on the charges of illegal prostitution and rape.
Batgirl watched Batman as he sat, eyes fixed on one spot of faded carpet. His eyes were acute, but unfocused. He was obviously engrossed in thoughts that she knew she could never comprehend. Rather than probe him, she let him sit with his thoughts. She felt a strong pang of pity for the caped man. His life had gone from bad to worse, and it only seemed to be getting more and more complex in ways that she knew weren't helping his situation.
Her own thoughts were disrupted when Batman spoke.
"Did you have any idea?"
"No" She replied, honestly. "But now that I do, it explains so much." She sighed. "I'm so sorry, Batman, I shouldn't have been so ready to trust him."
Batman folded his head into his hands, sliding them down his face as he looked up at her.
"It must have been Itzak who blanketed Kalinsky's DNA. The reason we couldn't get Kalinsky behind bars earlier was because of the lack of evidence-" He looked out the window. "So its thanks to Itzak that he was out there- he's an accessory to his brother's crimes."
Batman stood, pacing to the window. He gripped the frame as he stared out into the night.
"Enabling crime is almost as wrong as the crime itself."
His gloved hand was clenched in a tight grip over the frame, so lost in his thoughts that he did not even turn when Gordon entered the room.
"The body has been identified as Kalinsky by his brother."
Batgirl nodded. "And whats happening with Itzak?"
"We're going to be holding him for interrogation, on suspicion of accessory to crimes commited by Kalinsky. He's paying his own bail, however, so he'll be out as soon as we're finnished questioning- maybe as early as tommorow."
The sound of an open hand slamming into the wall alerted the other two to Batman, whose right hand was now held in a fist, jammed upon the smooth surface of the wall.
"This isn't what I wanted." He murmured darkly. He turned slowly, shaking his head. "I wanted justice...I wanted to help an innocent victim...not this." He shook his head. His whole body looked drawn, every second of the trauma he'd experienced in the previous months loaded into a heavy sack that weighed down on his already over-layden shoulders. He shook his head, moving a hand to rest on his forehead. A cramp formed in his lower back, he rubbed it unconciously.
Gordon looked across at his daughter, who was biting her lip. He slowly walked over to Batman, proceeding to lay a supportive hand on his shoulder. He was taken aback in sudden shock when Batman let out a surprised gasp. Gordon observed the man, whose eyes were now wide, mouth slightly agape. Batman glanced down.
"That...was...I..." But he found himself without words, and could only place his hand across the small mound, secretly wondering if it would do it again.
"What is it, Batman?" Asked a concerned Gordon.
Batgirl was now standing beside him. "Did it just...?"
He nodded, eyes still wide with surprise.
"Did it just what?" Demanded Gordon, "Did what just what?" He added.
Batgirl glanced at Batman, and taking his cue, turned towards Gordon.
"There's something you should know about Batman...but you're going to need a seat. Its a long story."
So they sat, Batgirl explaining the details, with Batman filling in where necessary. Gordon, sitting, only nodding his head. At last, the re-telling complete, Gordon let out a deep sigh. The Batman-in a condition that he did not normally associate with males.
"Well. It changes the dynamic a bit, doesn't it?"
Batman's head shot up, his eyes dark. "What do you mean? If you're suggesting I'm somehow less capable-"
"No, Batman, thats not what I meant at all." He rubbed his thinning white hair back. "But its obvious you can't be out there." He said, indicating the city beyond the window.
Batgirl looked between Batman and her father.
"Well..." she started. "Batman hasn't actually made any decisions yet."
Gordon blanched. "You mean a termination." He shook his head, "Pardon the intrusion- but is it still early enough for that?"
Batman noticed the trail of Gordon's gaze to his midrift- which was undeniably beginning to round out. He pulled his cape closer around himself, and stood.
"I would like to speak to Itzak." He declared, making his way for the door.
Gordon sighed and crossed his arms.
"Fine. As long as you're on one side of the bars, and he's on the other."
Batman nodded, exiting the room without further dialogue. The door closed, and the remaining two sat in silence for a moment. Batgirl looked over at her father, who had removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes with index and forefinger.
"What a rotten stream of luck." He said at length, replacing his glasses. He looked towards the masked vigilante Batgirl- who he now knew to be his daughter, Barbara.
"I'm worried about him." He said "This passed week has been extremely taxing- emotionally. Physically. Add on top of it everything else that's happened..."
Batgirl nodded. "He didn't sleep last night. He's going to be exhausted." She stretched her arms, giving way to a wide yawn. "Come to think of it-" she said, rubbing her eyes, "I haven't had a lot of sleep either..."
"I'm sure its almost as hard on all of you as it has been on him."
She smiled sadly. "Nightwing and myself have been alright-" She shared, purposefully leaving Alfred out so as not to betray Batman's identity, "But its Robin I'm worried about...he's really retreating into himself."
"That kid has a lotta rage." Observed Gordon sadly.
"I know he has a lot to be upset for- but up until recently, he had a stronghold in Batman." Explained Batgirl. "and I think Robin feels like he has not only lost his mentor in crime-fighting and justice- but his model for manhood too."
Gordon nodded slowly. "The kid probably feels like every ideal manly figure in his life has been a lie."
"I'd go one step further and say every decent adult figure- this Robin hasn't had the sort of support like Batman and Nightwing- or I- Have had. Even in our moments of
distress, we had people. Robin had no one, not until Batman."
"He needs to know that he hasn't lost his mentor. He's still himself. He's still the same man-" Said Gordon.
"But can we say that?" Batgirl cut in . "At the moment, he can't relate to Batman." She paused. "...and I think that maybe because Batman can't even relate to himself."
Gordon nodded slowly.
"Its going to be a job and a half, convincing both of them that Batman is every bit the man he has always been."
Batgirl sighed.
"And thats why its going to be so important to keep that link with Itzak- once we sort out his reasons. Maybe we're jumping to conclusions."
"Maybe." Agreed Gordon non-commitally.
Holding cell, Gotham City Police Department.
Taylor Itzak sat dejectedly upon the basic bench that passed for his bed in the cell. His hands were folded in his lap, head bent over. The burly voice of his guard interrupted his thoughts.
"You have a visitor."
He didn't have a chance to approve or object. The next moment Batman walked in, eyes dark and unreadable. He turned to the guard.
"I would like a moment alone, if you don't mind."
The guard squinted and looked Batman up and down.
"Look, I got orders-"
"I'll take it up with the commissioner if you get in trouble." He said, voice rising dangerously. "Now leave us alone."
The guard nodded and made a quick exit.
Batman turned to face Itzak. He noticed a dull ache forming in the small of his back, and inwardly cursed the mound on his front for causing it. Ignoring the temptation to rub his back, he pulled the guard's vacated chair over and sat on it. Itzak was still sitting as he had before, hands folded loosely in his lap, head down.
"I take it this isn't a social call." He said. His pitch was characteristically upbeat, but the tone was empty. He looked up at Batman, eyes red-rimmed and wet.
Batman spoke.
"Why did you do it?"
"I have the right to remain silent-"
"This is strictly off the record."
Itzak rubbed his head.
"Look, I did do it- and yes, I have confessed. Thats all you need, isn't it?"
"This is a personal interview."
Itzak stood and walked over to the small, steel sink. The faucet creaked in protest as he twisted it, splashing his face with the ice-cold water that flowed out. He rubbed the excess moisture off with his palms, and turned to face Batman.
"You seek retribution for justice, Batman. Justice has been dealt. A wanted criminal is off the street."
"Kalinsky was murdered. The only answer to crime is justice, not more crime!" At that moment, a rather uncomfortable wave of aches shot through Batman's lower back. He shifted in his seat, continuing.
"But what's done is done." He gazed sharply at Itzak. "Were you doing it to protect him?"
"No. I love him-" A pause "Loved him" He corrected, "But he went down a path in life that I just couldn't agree with."
"And yet you covered him up. Why? To protect yourself?"
"No!" Itzak exclaimed. He paused, clearing his throat as he let himself calm down.
"For our parents." He said quietyly "I didn't want them to lose yet another child. Thanks to me, they lost their daughter" He turned back to Batman, finger pointing.
"But I don't let anyone, for one second, think I regret making the decision to transition into my correct life." He dropped his finger, gazing at the floor sadly.
"I just wish it didn't have to come at the sacrafice of her's..."
"That girl never existed." Batman stated.
Itzak shook his head.
"Not to me. But to them- to the people they knew. To my own brother." He shrugged. "As much as they said they loved me and supported me, I know that there; somewhere in between the lines, they never truly accepted the loss of their precious little Olivia."
"So why the change of name?" Batman asked. "If you had no intention of tarnishing it like your own brother has? You could have made things better for them."
"To protect my family. I didn't want any backlash to hit them. The balance of interests- the hate. I can handle the outrage, the accusations and protests of the conservatives. But they couldn't. As long as I had my new identity, the world would know nothing of them. They would not be harmed, nor would I be judged against the person I once was. The world would know Taylor Itzak. No one would remember Olivia Kalinsky."
"So that's why your middle name is Oliver." Mused Batman.
A small melancholy smile slipped onto Itzak's face. "I was named Olivia after my great-grandfather, Oliver. It was practically foreshadowing."
He looked away sadly.
"I also wanted to keep a hold of that aspect of me."
He walked over to the bars seperating him from the Dark Knight
"As much as I hated being in the wrong body, playing the wrong role- I don't regret or hate "Olivia". For as long as I'm alive, I will always have a small part of that female aspect, simply because of how I was born."
Batman frowned. Itzak pushed on.
"But don't be mistaken for one minute- not one iota of that "Olivia-ness" takes away from my "Taylor-ness.". It doesn't make me less of a man."
"But you don't feel like a whole man." Batman added. "and in your case, at least you had a lifetime to adjust to that."
Itzak shrugged.
"Maybe you're right...but I still have those days when I feel absolutely miserable about the life I have. The wrongness of my body."
"Every day I live as an advocate for trans people." He pushed his hair back, resting his hand on his neck. "But to have been born right- to just get to be- thats something I've only ever dreamed about. Living in the wrong body is exhausting. Advocating for the rights and recognition of trans-people is exhausting. Just once, I would like to wake up and be seen as "just another guy."
He sighed.
"But it seems like I will always be seen as the trans-male. Not a woman anymore. Not a full man. Just...less." He looked up, eyes weighed with sadness.
"Are we less?" He asked, looking across to Batman. He was exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally too. Batman realised that there was far more in common between the two of them then their mistaken genetic identities. They both lived a life of advocacy that they would not have had their lives panned out ideally. They were two of many people against a world filled with hate, violence and injustice. True, they both made their mistakes. He could not just let Itzak get away with his actions.
But his question- in this world of binaries, where everyone demanded a definite; Right and wrong. Black and white. Male and female.
Were they less?
"No." He answered. "We aren't less. Nor are we more."
"We just are."