Love's Misconstruities
Author's note: Okay, when I wrote this I had run out of manga material by this point...so whatever inconsistencies with the plot after this, oh well...if anyone has actually been caring about it all along but me, that is. ; Perhaps after they finish this extremely large story arc I will go in and edit a bit...but until then, this is what I've got.
Chapter 24
By the time the mission had ended and Hinata and the others had finally begun their return to Konoha, she figured that she would be feeling much better. After all, she'd had all this time and plenty of distractions to take her mind off of her situation. However, fate had other plans.
As they made their journey back, Sakura had noticed that the other girl seemed a bit paler than usual. That, and after observing her dropping back from the rest of the team only to catch up later on several occasions raised the medical-nin's suspicions and caused her to confront the girl.
"Oh, i-it's really nothing. I think I may have just eaten something that didn't agree with me," she explained. "I'll be fine soon enough, so please don't worry about me." But every day closer to home they got, her symptoms stayed the same.
"Hinata, come with me," the medic bid after dinner on the final night of their trip home. Everyone else was settling in for the evening and paid little regard to the two kunoichi as they strayed away from the campfire.
"What is it, Sakura-chan?"
"I need to give you an exam."
"But-"
"No, no 'but's this time. Don't forget that it's my duty to keep everyone on this team healthy. I've let you have your way long enough, but you're not getting any better. Now you're going to let me do my job," she stated, giving the other girl no room to argue. Hinata just nodded in compliance. "Take off your jacket," Sakura instructed as she began.
Hinata obeyed Sakura's every command as she carried out her examination. Throughout the entire process the medic had kept a professional demeanor, save when she slowly ran a glowing chakra-concentrated hand over her patient's torso, stopping at her abdomen. Hinata watched as her green eyes grew wide and she concentrated harder, like she was double-checking whatever she thought she'd discovered.
"Sakura-chan…what is it? Is there something wrong with me?"
The pink-haired girl didn't respond right away, pausing to reach for her leather gloves and pull them back on first. She then glanced behind her toward the camp briefly, ensuring that their conversation would indeed be private before she began. "There's nothing…wrong with you, per se. And you're right, you will get better…but in a few months though, most likely."
"Eh? What do you mean? If there's nothing wrong with me, then why will it take-"
"Hinata, are you late this month?"
"Late?" Hinata questioned, not quite following. Sakura blinked at her, staring until she finally came to the understanding on her own. "Oh, uh...I suppose I am. But that's normal for kunoichi, especially during times of stress, like this mission or-"
"It seems that's not the case for you."
"What do you mean, Sakura-chan?" Hinata asked, still not putting all the pieces together.
"Hinata, you're, well…pregnant," she bluntly whispered.
Hinata froze in place, forgetting for a moment even to breathe. 'P-p-p…pregnant?! But, h-how?! …Okay, I know how, but…we only had sex once! And it was our first time! Did we rush into things? Yes, I am going to be his wife, but…should we have waited until after marriage to…? Oh, this is no time to be questioning the past! I have to think about the future now, like…what Gaara is going to say when he finds out. We never even discussed children. I don't even know if he wants any, least of all right now! I guess he doesn't really get a choice in the matter, does he, because it's already happening. But what if he… What if he gets angry with me? No, no…he wouldn't…would he?'
Seeing the distress on the other girl's face, Sakura reached out and took the distraught girl's hands in hers. "Hinata…I know that this must be a shock for you right now…but you should know that you do still have options."
"…eh?" the girl questioned, confused as she tried to push all of her worries aside and pay attention to the kunoichi before her.
"I'm not trying to tell you what you should or should not do, but…when we get back to Konoha and if you decide that it isn't the right time to be having a baby, it is still early enough in the pregnancy that you could abort," Sakura informed her matter-of-factly.
At the thought, Hinata instinctively placed a hand over her flat abdomen. 'Abort?' The word ran through her mind, creating even more fear than the news she'd just heard previously. In that instant, as her options lay before her, she realized that there was only one path that she truly felt she could take. Tears stung at her eyes but she warded them off as she managed a smile for her medic.
"Thank you, Sakura-chan, but there will be no need for that. No matter what happens, I will protect Gaara's and my future child."
Sakura found herself smiling as well, giving Hinata's hands a squeeze before letting go. "Come on, let's get some sleep. When we return tomorrow, I'll prescribe you something to help with your nausea. Though I'm afraid it won't cure all of it, it should at least help."
"Thank you. Oh, and Sakura-chan…"
"Hm?"
"If we could…please just keep this between us?"
"Of course. You don't even need to ask."
Though doubt still lingered in the corners of her mind from the last bit of gossip that had gotten around, looking into Sakura's sincere and professional face made her trust those words.
The next day, after returning and being debriefed, Sakura made good on her word. Hinata was finally making her way home in the early evening, medication in hand, when she was approached by an anxious cousin.
"Hinata-sama," he called, jogging up to her from behind.
"Neji-nii-san, how have you been?"
"There's no time for pleasantries, I'm afraid. Your father…he wants to see you immediately."
"What…what about, exactly?" she cautiously asked.
"His decision. Before you left, I spoke to him on your behalf. It also seems like he received a letter from Gaara."
"What?!" she gasped, recalling how she'd specifically asked that her fiancé not. 'Why would he disregard my request? What if it just makes everything worse? Father must be furious now, to have both Neji-nii-san and my future husband bothering him…'
"Come on, he's waiting," Neji softly urged, walking toward the direction of the Hyuuga estate.
"No, uh…I…" Hinata began, not following her cousin. "Let me go home first. I promise I won't be long. I just want to drop off my bag and take some medicine," she requested. "You can go on ahead."
"Your father requested that I escort you personally…but I suppose he can wait a few more minutes."
"Thank you," Hinata gratefully replied, bowing slightly and continuing toward her apartment.
"Were you injured on your mission?" Neji asked, walking alongside her.
"Injured? No, not particularly."
"But you said you had medicine to take," he stated, subtly inquiring its purpose as they arrived at their destination. Noticing his cousin clam up only made him even more curious. "Is there something wrong?" he asked as he watched Hinata struggle to fit her key in the door and unlock it.
"N-n-no, nothing is wrong." He merely stared at her, an all-knowing look on his face. She wasn't fooling anyone. She let them both inside where they had privacy before responding. "Please don't think less of me, Neji-nii-san…" she begged, setting her bag on the floor by her bed before taking a seat atop it.
Following her lead, Neji sat beside her, watching her carefully. "What is it?" he cautiously asked, not sure what to expect. She remained silent long enough to make him wonder if she would ever tell him, but eventually she gave a weak smile and came out with it.
"...I'm pregnant."
Neji found himself standing then, that news being the furthest thing from his mind. He walked across the small room, finding himself by the door. "Whatever you may think of me, Neji-nii-san…I trust that you will not tell my father. He is already disappointed in me enough as it is."
"Of course, Hinata-sama, I would never…" the boy trailed off, malice absent from his surprisingly gentle voice. "I'm just surprised… Pregnant? Are you sure?" he asked in somewhat of a stupor. Now it was Hinata's turn to give him a look. "Sorry. Of course you're sure. But...does Gaara know yet?" She shook her head. "Are you going to tell him?"
"What?" Hinata quickly responded, confused with her cousin's seemingly-stupid question.
"That medicine you're taking…what is it for?" he cautiously asked, wondering if his cousin had decided to take matters into her own hands before consulting her future husband.
"For my nausea."
A small smile crept onto his lips and he nodded, realizing that the Hinata he knew could never face a situation such as this without seeing it through to its end. "I see. Then you should tell him sooner rather than later."
"But, what if…he doesn't…"
"Doesn't what? Want a baby? He should have thought about that before he...before you two-" he stopped, a slight blush creeping upon his cheeks as realized that he did not want that mental picture in his head. "A-hem. Well, he should have thought more about the consequences of his actions," he finished, though he saw it brought Hinata no comfort. Searching for something to say that would ease the girl's suffering, his eyes wandered around the room, eventually settling upon a small bulk in the tiny metal basket under Hinata's mail slot on the inside of her door. Walking over and picking it up, he examined it and smiled, returning to his cousin's side. "I never thought I'd say this, but I have faith in Gaara. He won't do anything to hurt you," he assured with the highest confidence, handing her the small scroll he'd picked up. "I recognize the seal that's on this. Hiashi-sama received one just like it from your fiancé," he informed, causing Hinata to stare intently at the object now in her small hands. "…I hate to rush you, but you did say that you would hurry if we came back here," he urged. "Did you want to read this later?"
"No," she firmly answered, quickly opening it and reading its contents.
Hinata,
I have been informed of the situation regarding your clan. Though you asked that I not, I felt it necessary to write a formal request to your father. Forgive me, but he must be made to understand that our marriage will only strengthen the alliance between Suna and Konohagakure.
-Gaara
It was so brief and to the point; Hinata couldn't deny herself a smile…especially as she read onward. Where the penmanship in the first part of the letter had been neatly scribed, the last was more shaky and had small ink splatters mingled throughout the words, as though he had held the brush above the paper after dipping it, pondering just how to put his feelings into words and struggling with every stroke he made.
PS: I look forward to seeing you again…and never letting you go.
Hinata nodded in response, though she knew he could not see it. She too could not wait. She held the small scroll tenderly in her hands, knowing that just a short time ago the man she loved had also touched it. Longing for his touch now, she held the letter against her bosom in a small embrace.
"A-hem," Neji prompted, clearing his throat. After he had the emotional girl's attention he stood. "Shall we?"
"Hai," she responded, setting the scroll down beside her and reaching into the small bag that Sakura had given her, pulling out the container within and quickly taking a pill. The last thing she wanted while trying to seem strong and resilient before her father was to become sick to her stomach.
As the two young Hyuugas entered the large conference room, they bowed to the waiting figure and it was only there that Neji left his cousin's side, migrating to toward the wall and having a seat, leaving Hinata standing alone in the center before her father.
"Hinata," he called in his deep voice.
"Yes, Father?" she responded, her voice holding not a shred of fear. She watched, for the first time, as her father seemed to struggle for the correct words. Before, he'd always seemed so sure of what to say, but now she could see that he was under some pressure.
"It…appears that I judged your situation too harshly," he began, much to her surprise. "I was not aware that you were speaking of Sunagakure's Kazekage when you informed me of an engagement with a…a foreigner."
'Does Gaara's position really make that much of a difference to you, Father? You've always despised Hyuuga members marrying outside of the clan, no matter what the outsider's position. A shinobi from another village entirely would be even worse to you. …These aren't your words, are they?'
"I've decided that, though being unplanned, this arrangement will benefit both the Hyuuga clan and Konoha by strengthening our alliance with Sunagakure."
'That sounds like what Gaara said in his letter to me.'
"And, regarding sealing your abilities," he continued, pulling Hinata from her thoughts. "I see no need to implement such measures at this time. Our current Hokage has requested of me that you remain intact. It seems that she cannot currently afford to lose your services."
"And when I do leave the village, Father? What then?"
To this question, he thought a great deal before announcing his answer. "It is the duty of the head family to assure that the secrets of the Hyuuga bloodline remain. …You are my first-born, Hinata…and as such, I have decided to spare you the grief of being cast into the branch family as tradition would have it under such circumstances...but on two conditions."
"…Yes?"
"…Continue to grow stronger…strong enough so that no one will ever make me regret this decision."
Hinata, who had thus far remained stoic throughout the entire meeting, smiled up at her father and nodded. 'Perhaps he does love me in his own strange way after all.'
"Secondly, if and when you have children of your own, if they inherit any traits of the Hyuuga bloodline, they must be sealed," he explained, causing a knot to form in Hinata's stomach.
'What?! He cannot expect me to do such a thing. I refuse. But I suppose that is a battle best fought at a later date. If I argue too much now, he'll suspect something.'
"Now, I suppose it's time to deliver the bad news," he began again.
"Bad news?" she repeated, glancing at her cousin for a hint, though he wore the same confused expression as she.
"Have you and your…fiancé…set a wedding date?" he asked, still seeming to struggle with the facts despite having come to a conclusion on the matter.
"N-no…we haven't yet, but it will be as soon as Hokage-sama is able to spare me from Konoha's services."
"That may be a while yet," he explained. "Try to keep your mind focused on your missions for now. It could be months or even years before we've graduated enough shinobi from the Academy to add any significant talent to our troops," he explained.
'…Years?' Hinata tried to wrap her mind around it, but she refused. 'Father has just managed to find it in his heart to forgive me… If I have to wait more than a few months I won't be able to hide the pregnancy and he'll lose all his faith in me again, and worse; he'll do everything in his power to seal my child should it need doing. I'm not willing to chance that. There has to be a way around this.' To her father, she only nodded once more.
"That being said, you may resume living here."
"That's alright, Father," she replied to his surprise. "I've come to like having my own small place. I would prefer to stay there."
"…I see that while I may have forgiven you, the same cannot be said for my actions," he coldly stated.
'Perhaps, but more than anything, I am going to want more privacy now, with my symptoms and all…' she thought, though outwardly she remained neutral, allowing him to assume as he wished.
"So be it. Feel free to take whatever you need from your room, should you need anything," he offered. "I shall take my leave of you, then." And with that, he departed.
By the time she'd returned home she could feel fatigue pressing heavily on her eyelids, but she would not rest until she had completed one final task for the night. She took a blank scroll and writing utensils from her bag that she'd taken from her old room and sat down on the floor of her scarcely furnished apartment to compose her letter.
It took a great deal of time, as she had much to say of the greatest importance, but when she was finally satisfied, she bound the scroll and addressed it, setting it beside her bag to be taken to be sent by courier bird the next morning.