25. Why Do You Love Me?

Severus appeared in a flash of green light to his apartments. Soon as he arrived he saw Harry with his arms crossed with a very angry expression on his face. Severus grimaced. Harry's hormones were all over the place he could go from lustful to furious to giggly all within the space of five minutes. Or was it not hormones? Was what the Horcrux said true? Was he really coercing a child to have sex with him? But he loved Harry and Harry had said he loved him. Was that just a scared, abused child saying that?

'Where the fuck have you been?' growled Harry.

Severus blinked for a few minutes realising what was upsetting Harry. Harry was angry that he didn't know where Severus was. That must mean that Harry did love Severus. But how could he? He had admitted to being in love with the boy's mother and all but murdering Harry's parents. Yet he still loved him? How? The Riddle Harry had been right Harry could have anyone. Why would he want to be saddled with a grumpy old git? Who would stand by him when their relationship came out? He had been hated before.

'I thought you had been called again,' Harry growled. 'You weren't were you?' Harry asked sudden fear forming in his face.

Harry's sudden change in emotions cemented in Severus' mind that it was definitely hormones causing Harry to behave like this. Yet there were real fears underneath the hormonal imbalance. How could he be such an idiot? It had only been a few days before that Severus had left to stand in the presence of the Dark Lord and lie continually to the madman. He should have left a note telling Harry where he was going. He just hadn't expected to be that long but the Horcrux had distracted them.

'No,' Severus said. 'I haven't I was destroying the Horcrux with Albus.'

'What?' Harry said. 'Why didn't you tell me?' Harry demanded. 'I could have helped.'

Severus winced at these words. This was precisely the reason he hadn't told Harry what he was doing. He couldn't bare the idea of Harry and their unborn child being in danger. He didn't think that would be good enough excuse for Harry. Harry hated being lied to. True enough he wasn't lying to Harry – more withholding information. Still he didn't think Harry would like that. He was glad that Harry hadn't been there. He didn't want him to hear what had been said but still he couldn't help but wonder if Harry's presence would have helped.

'I didn't want to put our son in danger,' Severus said. 'We didn't know what would happen.'

'You could have at least told me,' Harry said petulantly.

'I was scared you would get involved and endanger our son,' Severus said.

As soon as he had said the one sentence he knew that he had said the wrong thing. Harry's emerald green eyes blazed with fury. Now that he wore contacts Harry's beam wasn't hidden behind glasses so when he got angry you could see it. It was the look he had seen when he had called Lily a Mudblood, the look he had seen in Harry when insulting his father or godfather, the look he had see when Harry had flung him into the wall at the age of thirteen. Severus gulped trying to rectify what he had said.

'I would never do anything to harm our son,' Harry said in a very cold voice.

Severus grimaced, 'I know Harry.'

'Do you?' Harry said sharply.

'Yes,' Severus said. 'I'm sorry I should have told you.'

'Yes you should have,' Harry said.

'I'm sorry,' Severus said.

Harry shook his head, 'it's fine. So what happened?' asked Harry.

Severus grimaced unsure how to say this. He half wanted Harry's reassurance but at the same time he didn't want Harry to know his biggest fears. He saw Harry looking at him oddly like he knew something of what had happened. Had something of the same nature happened when he fought with Tom Riddle's diary back in his second year? That was an odd thought. He usually tried to ignore the fact that Harry had been a twelve year old child under his care. Now he was fucking him. Riddle was right.

'What did Riddle say?' asked Harry.

'I could ask you the same,' Severus returned.

Harry rolled his eyes, 'honestly I'm not going to get upset with whatever are your deepest fears,' Harry said. 'Riddle did virtually the same to me. He went on about us being the same.'

'You're nothing like him,' Severus growled.

'We do have similarities,' Harry said quietly.

'No you don't,' Severus said.

Harry gave him a hard look, 'yes we do but I don't mind anymore. It did when I was twelve what with the whole school believing I was the Heir to Slytherin.'

'That was ridiculous,' scowled Severus.

'About as ridiculous as eleven year old Ginny Weasley opening the Chamber,' Harry said.

'She was possessed,' Severus said.

'I know,' Harry said. 'Anyway I was terrified that I was related to Slytherin and Riddle basically taunted me on our likenesses. Dumbledore reassured me that it was our choices that defined us and I chose to be a Light wizard, more or less.'

'And he was right,' Severus said.

'So what did Riddle say to you?' Harry said.

Severus frowned. He had been trying to distract Harry from asking about what had happened. Apparently Harry had seen right through his attempts. How very Slytherin well of course it would be. Harry the Gryffindor Golden Boy who should be in Slytherin if he hadn't begged not to be in Slytherin. Why had he begged anyway? He had just met a couple of Weasleys who most likely had told him just how evil all Slytherins were. Add the Dark Lord in and it was no wonder he had hated Slytherins.

'And don't try to change the subject again,' Harry said sharply. 'I can see right through you.'

'You were right he did bring up our most hidden fears and guilt,' Severus sighed. 'He began with Dumbledore because Albus being a typical Gryffindor-'

'When your finished with the Gryffindor bashing tell me what happened,' Harry ground out.

'Jumped right in,' Severus said ignoring Harry, 'and confronted Riddle who began to taunt him for …' Severus trailed off. 'Well it involved his ex and his sister but it was quite personal.'

'You won't betray his trust,' Harry said softly smiling sadly at Severus. 'Don't worry I won't ask you to. What I want to know is what's upsetting you.'

Severus closed his eyes and nodded, 'he got to the heart of me and my paedophilia.'

'You are not a paedophile,' Harry said sharply. 'Have you ever felt this way to any other teenager?'

'No,' Severus admitted.

'Did you ever feel the same way until this year?' Harry continued.

'No but-'Severus tried.

'And you agree that if we were Muggles and you were not my teacher then our relationship would be legal,' Harry continued on.

'Well yes but we're not Muggles and I am your student,' Severus reminded him.

'I don't care,' Harry said. 'And you agree that it is not sex?' Harry demanded looking so nervous that Severus had to reassure him.

'No,' Severus said, 'maybe at first but by Christmas I had fallen head over heels in love with you.'

'And it has been permitted by the Headmaster,' Harry said.

'Who's barmy,' Severus muttered.

Harry laughed, 'maybe so. Look at Hermione she doesn't care.'

'True,' Severus agreed.

'Nobody else matters all that matters is that I love you and you love me. Anyone else can get eaten by a horntail,' Harry proclaimed.

'A horntail?' asked Severus, raising an eyebrow very much amused at Harry's antics.

'Err not appropriate time to recall first Triwzard Task?' asked Harry.

'Do you want the Dark Lord and the Prophet to get eaten by a horntail?' asked Severus laughing.

'Severus, if it wasn't for the fact that you are my teacher and could get arrested and Voldemort,' Severus couldn't help but wince at His name. 'Sorry,' Harry had noticed Severus' wince, 'then I would put our son and our relationship on the front page news.'

'It probably would be front page news,' Severus said.

'Tell me about it,' muttered Harry. 'I hate my fame. I wish our child didn't have to grow up under my fame.'

'I know,' Severus said.

'Is that all it said?' asked Harry.

Severus wanted to answer yes but he knew that if Albus ever told Harry what they had said to Severus then Harry would be furious. He didn't want Harry to know any of what had been said. But he did mainly because of the anger that Harry had displayed at being kept in the dark about what Severus and Albus were doing that night. Severus looked at Harry sadly and shook his head but didn't go any further. He really didn't want to speak about all this but by the look of things he wasn't getting much of a choice.

'I know you don't want to speak about this,' Harry said softly. 'But it will help,' Harry told him. 'It always did for me after any of my so called adventures even when I was keeping my friends in the dark about the worst of it.'

Severus nodded, 'I can understand that.'

'Please, Severus you need to talk to me about this,' Harry said.

'Do I have a choice?' asked Severus.

'No,' Harry said.

By Merlin was Harry stubborn. Out of all the things that Harry could inherit from Lily Evans it would be her stubbornness. Harry had Lily's hard green eyed stare that Severus could never resist. Severus sighed and admitted defeat. He would tell Harry everything even when he just wanted to run from what had happened. He had done many evil things in his time as Death Eater and spy. He had lied (a lot he was a spy after all), he had murdered (he had been a Death Eater), he had tortured (again he had been a Death Eater) but what he had never done was fuck a child.

'The image of Riddle turned into you, your parents, you d-godfather and my father,' Severus sighed.

'What did we say?' asked Harry grimly.

'Your parents were angry that I had dared to touch you,' Severus said.

'I wanted you to touch me remember,' Harry said. 'If it hadn't been for your morals I would have let you take me in that corridor.'

'If it hadn't been for Peeves jolting my thoughts I probably would have,' muttered Severus.

'Again I wanted it at least as much as you,' Harry said quietly.

'I know that,' Severus said.

'Do you?' asked Harry.

Severus couldn't meet Harry's eyes, 'your godfather accused me of being and coming near you.'

'You are not evil,' Harry said.

'If I wasn't how could I be attracted to a child?' asked Severus.

'I'm not a child,' Harry said.

'Physically you are,' Severus said.

'Just,' Harry said sharply. 'I'm physically practically an adult.'

Severus nodded feeling slightly better at that thought that he was attracted to a young adult more than a boy.

'You said that you were disgusted at letting me touch you,' Severus continued.

Harry actually laughed at this, 'so that is why I was having wet dream about you for months before you were attracted to me. Trust me Severus I have never felt disgusted about liking you. Confused oh Merlin yes but disgusted never.'

'Why?' asked Severus.

'Cause your hot,' Harry said.

'I don't think anyone else would agree,' Severus said.

'Whoever said I was normal,' Harry said.

'Fair enough,' agreed Severus.

'I think you're the most attractive thing that I've ever laid eyes on,' Severus said. 'Your tall, dark, mysterious, handsome with killer eyes that you could drown in,' Harry then blushed.

'I've never been complemented as such,' Severus said. 'So you didn't allow me to fuck me out of fear-'

'Severus I face Voldieshorts and minions often insulting Voldie as I go along,' Harry pointed out. 'Do you really think I'd be afraid of my teacher? I fought Quirrell who had bloody Voldemort growing on the back of his head. I shouted at him too. Do you think I'd let myself be coerced into fucking you. I may have almost gotten into Slytherin but I got into Gryffindor for a reason.'

'Even with the abuse?' asked Severus.

Harry sighed, 'you didn't take advantage of me, Severus, you didn't even know.'

'So you haven't done this because Albus wouldn't do anything about it because of the war?' asked Severus.

Harry snorted, 'do you think Albus would stand for me being hurt by you? He has let this go on because he knows how I feel. I feel happier than I've ever been.'

'Do you think I ruined your life?' asked Severus. 'Pregnant at the age of sixteen…'

'Severus,' Harry said softly. 'I have always wanted a family to call my own and now you've given me that. My only wish is that we could have waited a few years to when Riddle wasn't there to hurt my baby.'

'I feel the same,' Severus said relieved.

'What did Tobias and mum say?' asked Harry.

'Lily was angry that I had hurt you and told me I was going to pay,' Severus said.

'You never hurt me,' Harry repeated.

'My father called me an abomination as he always did,' muttered Severus.

'And my family called me a freak. Doesn't mean it's true,' Harry said.

'He said he knew no good will come of me,' Severus said.

'So that's why you're fighting to save the world,' Harry said sharply. 'Your father was a bigoted bastard.'

'And I forced myself on a teenager,' Severus said.

'We've been over this, Severus,' Harry said sharply. 'I was never forced by you.'

'Black didn't believe anyone would want me,' Severus said.

'We've been over this I think your hot,' Harry said.

'Your father was angry that I took your innocence,' Severus said.

'My innocence?' asked Harry. 'I think between Voldemort and the Dursleys its dead.'

'Father wished I had never been born. Did that a lot,' muttered Severus.

'So did my family,' Harry said. 'Any child deserves a chance of life.'

'He was going to hit me,' Severus said finding when he had begun talking he couldn't stop.

'He hit you?' asked Harry.

'And my mother,' added Severus.

'At least I didn't have anyone who care about me to watch get hurt,' Harry said.

'But I knew I was loved,' Severus said. 'I had a best friend and a mother.'

'Whilst Dudley chased away all my friends,' Harry said.

'Why do you love me?' asked Severus.

'Because you're brave, smart, kind, sweet, brilliant person even if you don't let people in often,' Harry said.

'I am not sweet,' Severus said.

'Of course not, sweetie,' Harry smirked.

'You're cruel,' Severus said.

'And you're a sweet git,' Harry retorted.

'Why do I love you?' asked Severus.

'Because I'm amazing,' Harry grinned.

'Brat,' Severus said.

'But you love me,' grinned Harry.

'Yeah I do,' Severus agreed.