Chapter XXV.

And So, She Drifts...

Lily's eyes opened, blinking blearily she felt Bane lying beside her; his breath even and unobtrusive, yet she could not sleep. She rolled onto her side slowly, languidly enjoying his heat but at the same time she felt something foreboding stir inside her gut, like pressure was building up in her head making her want to cry out.

She let out a breath and felt Bane shift slightly, as unobtrusive as his breathing, she knew he was awake and she sat up, keeping her smooth white back to him, she sighed and shivered as his hand slowly, very slowly traced her spine. Did she take pleasure in his soft caress? Yes she did. Was she ashamed of what she had just done with him, this terrorist, this monster; surprisingly, no. Another breath was released and Lily rubbed her eyes, tears stung at the corners and she heard her own shuddering inhalation tremble in the wake of her and his own animalistic urges.

"You are troubled..." Bane said in the darkness and Lily nodded mutely, "Tell me."

His voice was a command, gentle and almost interested. Lily let her head loll back as he ran a calloused finger along one of her jutting shoulder blades; she didn't know what fought off slumber tonight but she knew this man had something to do with it and she turned, her eyes dark and shadowed in the half-light. She thought she saw his brows quirk in a small frown but he didn't move; indolent as his movements always were, he lay there and waited for her to come to him like she was a timid deer and indeed – compared to him – this was what she was.

"I can't sleep," She offered uselessly and he chuckled quietly,

"This much is evident by your wakefulness." Bane's condescension was like that of a parent's.

Lily only mildly resented it and shrugged carelessly; the light from the shrouded city of Gotham did not flood his ground floor room, it glowed in through the windows casting an orange hue over her pale face. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as her straight gaze pierced the waxed glass and she heard Bane sigh through the confines of his mask and move slightly. He sat up, dwarfing Lily as he always did and his arm came around her slight shoulders, a mass of warmth and hard flesh which made her belly knot with lust but also made her brain squawk with indignation. What the hell was she doing? How could she be attracted to a man who blew up half the city, her home? Who imprisoned the police underneath the city and maybe hurt her best friend?

She shuffled away from him, the distance betwixt them was meagre but Lily thought it felt like they were a desert apart. Her mind was swimming in doubt, she knew that when all this was over – for it had to end, even Crane had said so himself – what would become of her? She would be thrown into Blackgate; too many people identified her face with that of Bane's. That thought sparked another; did she want this to end? Of course she did, Lily was a good person...wasn't she? Was she good to go along with this under the paper-thin premise that she was 'looking out for herself'? No, she was not she concluded and felt disgusted in herself and peered over at Bane who was staring at her, waiting for her to speak.

"Do you want to go back upstairs?" He asked finally and Lily shook her head,

"I don't want to be here full stop." Her voice sounded sharper than she had meant it to. Hushed with anger.

Bane did not flinch at her irritation, for what could she really do to him? Her strength was akin to that of his little finger, her will even weaker still. She should have resisted, fought back, left the tunnels when he said she could. As if he read her thoughts, Bane said;

"No body's keeping you here, Lily. You've always been free to leave."

"I know." Was all she mumbled and she felt him shrug,

"So why didn't you?"

Lily knew why and pulled her bare knees up to her chest and wrapped her skinny arms around herself,

"Because I felt safe." She said simply and glanced over to him; his head was bowed, he was not looking at her.

"I can understand that." Bane's tone was subdued and Lily almost felt a pang of guilt.

But what did she have to feel guilty for? Was Gotham not the corrupt play ground for the rich kids as Bane had illuminated and extinguished with equal disdain? Was she not downtrodden and flattened beneath the heels of them who could have helped her? Did Bane not take her in and watch over her recovery personally when he had absolutely no reason to? Did he not risk his second-in-command's enmity to have her? She looked at him carefully and bit her lip; he was willing to do all that and more, he protected her, made her feel safe and wanted but to what end? To be a plaything while he played at warlord? Lily brushed that thought away, banishing it from her mind; Bane did not play at anything.

It was obvious that his men respected and feared him, but not respected him out of fear. Bane made sure that any battles fought, he would be in the fray with his men; he would strike her, someone who she supposed cared for – given all that which he had done for her – to make an example. He would not abandon them for anything or anyone.

Bane was committed to his liberation and so were his men.

With her head so filled with thoughts and reservation, Lily shook it and exhaled heavily; her shoulders slumped. At last she sidled back nearer to Bane; her little body pressed into his flank intimately, he was just human after all why did she think that he wouldn't care or bother with what was rattling around her brain? Affectionately she placed her curly head up against his arm and muttered in the darkness,

"I'm sorry."

Without a word he lifted his arm and engulfed her in heat and sighed just as heavily as her. They sat like that for a while together, like the two damaged animals they were until Lily's eyelids began to grow heavy and her head sagged downwards. She could only vaguely sense Bane as he lowered her down back into bed, tucking the blankets around her like she was a baby. A frown of concern puckered her brow when she felt him get up and leave her alone in the bed; dull panic surged, was he going to leave her there? Her panic was misplaced; he returned shortly and wrapped his arms around her, lying beside her comfortably and she could feel that his legs were clothed now. Their lustfulness discarded for tonight and to some degree, Lily was thankful for that and mumbled sleepily before slumber consumed her.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me..."

And with that she allowed herself to drift.