The car ride is silent, completely silent. No one says a word, and I am almost happy that nobody does. Rick occasionally give Carl and I the death glare in the rear view mirror, Daryl throws me disappointed looks, and Hershel, Hershel just keeps his head straight forward, not a word or a glare.

I shiver in the car, my teeth chattering. If only I still had my jacket…. "How'd ya'll even make it all the way here," Daryl asks in a low rough voice, staring out the window next to me. "Someone ain't watchin' you back home?"

Rick's blue eyes glue to the rear view mirror, demanding me to speak. I swallow the dry lump in my throat, "they were too busy watching Merle to notice us sneak out. And… we wore Freak guts to escape the walkers."

I feel the air tense and Rick's anger thicken. "You two could have died," Rick grits through his teeth.

"Yeah but we didn't," snaps Carl, only lifting up his hat to glare at Rick. I feel awkward in the middle, squished between a Dixon and Grimes sandwich. Carl disappears back under his hat and Rick keeps his eyes on the road again.

…..

"WHERE THE HELL OF YOU TWO BEEN?" Glenn's face is cherry colored red. His hair dramatically pushed back, his brown eyes fixed like a predator on his prey. I slam the car door. I've been dreading Glenn all day.

"Found them where we were supposed to meet this Governor guy," Rick says matter-of-factly, his hands on his holster around his hip. "Where were you?"

Maggie runs up alongside Glenn, out of breath and her shirt sideways. "I'm gone five freaking seconds," I think aloud, disgusted by Glenn and Maggie's appearance.

"Excuse me what," Glenn snaps at me.

Crap. My heart starts to slam against my chest and sweat trickles down my forehead. I hesitate, then quickly find the words, "we were going to kill him… The Governor."

Rick slowly turns around, his brilliant blue eyes furious, his face pulled to a scowl. "You two were going to kill The Governor?"

Did I say that? I don't remember. God, I hate being the center of attention. I just nod quickly, trying whatever I can to dodge his eyes. "What," Maggie gasps in disbelief. Man, I should have asked her to join us… oh well.

"How? How in the hell we you going to kill him? Not to mention his two henchmen? Do you even use your head? What is wrong with you?" Rick crosses his arms, staring down at me, only me. Carl just stands there with his hat tilted towards the ground. Protecting his eyes from Mr. Medusa's death glare.

I cross my own arms in protest, stomping my foot down like I'm five years old again. "I used my head and nothing is wrong with me! I think I deserve to kill him Rick!"

"You don't get to make that call. You can't choose someone else's life," Rick says in a softer tone.

I feel my face scrunch, "what? Why? He did! He did when he killed my Four!" Tears string down my face, I try quickly to wipe them away but my hands can't work fast enough. "It isn't fair. Why can't I just kill him? What is so wrong about killing someone who is already bad?"

"It is a life Siren. No one else has to die." Rick uncrosses his arms, stuffing the thumbs in the loops of his pants.

"Except him Rick," I sob, "he has to." I don't even try and stop the tears anymore. I crash to the ground, rocks digging into my hands and knees. "WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL 'EM RICK?"

"If I killed him someone else would take his place!" He shouts over my shrieks. "We are going to war with him. Two days he gave us. Got it? Now dry it up and get inside." Rick turns from me and the crowd that now surrounded the car, stomping up to the prison.

The shocked group scattered away, mumbling and bickering between each other. Beth stood there, her face angry—no furious… hurt. Her blue eyes glared at me evilly. Her nose scrunched up and her arms crossed. "Beth," I whimper, extending a hand. She stares down at my bloody, pebble filled palm, turning from it and walking away.

"Promise you'll always have my back," Carl says, watching as Beth wonders away.

I wipe the tears away, smearing blood and dirt across my forehead. "Ha, like you did when Rick was yelling at me? You should have had my back then."

"We have common interests, you and I. Which only makes me more keen on trusting you."

"Jesus Carl, you talk like we're in a freaking James Bond movie. Fine I promise. I'll always have your back." With that Carl turns to face me, holding out his small hand. I stare blankly at it, worried about what I am getting myself into, but when I hear Tobias' discouraging words, don't do it, I latch on to Carl Grimes' hand, dusting myself off.

I connect my fist to Carl's arm. "Ouch," he winces, grabbing his arm and frowning at me.

"That is for ruining my favorite sweater," I run off towards the doors.

I ignore the stares, the head shakes, the frowns and scowls and go straight to my bed, scurrying under the covers. The sound of Hershel's crutches and Judith's whines are the last thing I hear before my eye lids become heavy and I drift off.

…

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. "Come on wimp just go," says a cheerful voice. I turn my head and find one of my sisters, Veronica. Her black hair is perfectly straight, her brown eyes glistening in the sun.

"It isn't that easy," I stare down at the pool of water, it is at least a fifty-five feet drop. I sit, unmoving in a water slid. A smile threatening to rip my face. "I can't do this Ver. I can't!"

"Maybe you just need a push," she giggles.

"WHAT? NO Veronica DON'T!" It was far too late. By the time, I screamed her hands pushed against my shoulders and I was zooming through the water in a downwards spiral. I let out a high-pitched girly scream as my body bolted towards the ground, my mind spinning in three sixties and my muscles tensed in place.

My body falls into the water. I flinch at the freezing temperature, my eyes opening as I sank to the bottom, bubbles surrounding me. Ah, that was fun. I smile, and start towards the top. I see my sister Veronica's face, rippling through the wall of water. She waves her hand I jump towards the sun, only to find my legs pulled down.

Nothing is holding my feet, yet I'm glued to the bottom of the pool. I struggle a bit, yanking my body left and right. My lungs needed air desperately. I knew what was happening—I saw Titanic—or did he freeze to death? Doesn't matter, focus Siren. My mind wonders again, air impossible to keep in my dying lungs.

I stare up at my sister hopelessly, thinking if I were to die right now, her smiling face is the last thing I want to see. Veronica keeps smiling, waving at me as if I'm doing tricks for her. A shadow appears behind her, Veronica struggles as the shadow latches on to her, slitting her throat in front of me. Blood splatters in the pool, droplets sinking down to my feet.

Veronica's body falls lifeless to the ground and all air that was in me escapes in a bubbly scream. I suck in water, maybe thinking I could actually use water for air. The water was thicker than any average pool, and suddenly the clear, purified oasis became thick, iron tasting blood, and it filled my lungs.

The sun and light is gone, all I see is red, everywhere red. I keep kicking my legs, swinging my arms, twisting my body all while gasping for air and only find hot blood.

I am dying. Out of air and choking on my loved one's blood. I'm dying in one of the most happiest memories I hold. No—I'm dead in one of the happiest memories I hold. My no longer struggling body sinks like a rock to the bottom of the pool. Dead.

The shadow man above the pool laughs, adjusting his eye patch over his mutilated eye.

…

"What is it Siren? What is it? What are you doing?" My eyes flicker open and I find myself in the cafeteria of the prison. Rick is staring at me with cautious wide eyes.

"What do you want Rick," I say sleepily, not fully aware of what is happening. I am pretty sure I am still dreaming, cause I don't think a tiger with zebra colored nails is standing in a tux behind Rick. Oh and the tiger is also wearing pink fluffy slippers. "I said I was sorry didn't I?" It hurts to think about it. "Wait I didn't—I'm sorry."

"Put the knife down Siren," Rick gingerly moves toward me, a hand out.

"What knife?" Rick points at my hands I look down at the stainless steel kitchen knife in my hands. "Ahh, what the hell is that doing there," I say, but do not put the knife down. I look over to the tiger for answers, but he just shrugs. "Rick! Why do I have a knife?"

"You must have been sleep walking. Can you put the knife down?"

"That's weird," I state, swinging the knife around in the air, "I've never sleep walked before."

"First time for everything," Rick says with a nervous smile. "Can you give me the knife?"

Children shouldn't play with knives, says the tiger with zebra nails wearing a tux and fluffy pink slippers.

"Oh shut up Mr. Tiger. You don't know what the fuck you talking about," I swing the knife around a couple of times to prove my point. "I can play with whatever I want to play with."

Ha-ha, that's what she said, the tiger in the tux and fluffy slippers with the zebra nails snickers.

"Ugh. I hate 'that's what she said' jokes. You should know that. You know what Mr. Freaking Tiger, I should have ripped your fluff out when I had the chance." I turn to Rick, the knife loosely in my hands, "tell 'em Rick. Tell the tiger that he is lucky I don't take this knife and stab it where his heart is supposed to be."

"Okay." Rick steps closer, grabbing my hand and taking the knife out, tossing the knife on the table. "Come on," he says, scooping me up in his arms like I'm nothing.

I curl up to his chest, it smells like dirt, smoke, and worst of all the Governor's liquor. I don't mind it though. I yawn, Rick carefully brings me back to my cell, setting me on the cot. "Tell the tiger to leave me along will yah?"

"Sure," he whispers, pulling the blankets over me. Rick stands up from the crouch, "stay in here okay? Have any more bad dreams just shout got it?" He leans against the door from, his arms crossed.

"M'kay," I whisper, the last thing I hear is the lock of my cell door.