CHAPTER 25 - BPOV
Hi Bella,
My name is Eric Yorkie, a fellow artist on YouTube and I was wondering if there's any chance we can collaborate. Your voice is beautiful, warm and strong and I would love to have the opportunity to record with you. A song in mind that I am looking to record is called 'Heartbeat' by Enrique Iglesias and Nicole Scherzinger. If you haven't already, take a listen and let me know what you think. It's a little different than your regular taste, but I believe that together we can really recreate the powerful romance between these two secret lovers. So again, please let me know what you think and get back to me as soon as you can. I hope your decision is what I'm expecting and I am looking forward to this collab. Thanks again, Eric.
I drum my fingers scanning through this e-mail for the umpteenth time. I'm really glad that someone out there who I don't know is wanting to record with me, but I am a little shy when it comes down to this. I'll have to call Ang later and see what she has to say about this.
I type up a quick response saying that I've received his e-mail and I'm currently thinking about my decision. I tell him I'd get back to him in a couple of days and click send. I close my laptop and pick up the pile of photos Edward and I took last evening at the beach. I go through every one of them like the first time, with the same smile and same reaction.
I take my favourite picture and slide it into a frame that will sit on my nightstand. I'm pretty sure that it's the only form of Edward I'll be seeing since last night when I'd told him about the night I went off to a party.
I told him everything he needed to know, and didn't leave one thing out like I usually do. I told him exactly what I'd heard from James and exactly what I'd seen from the video. He asked me why I even bothered to listen to James, but a part from that, that was all. We rode home in silence and parted ways once we got here. He slept in his bed, and I in mine.
I couldn't go to sleep last night. I tossed and turned for hours. I even tried to listen to music hoping it would help, but it's not the same as Edward's lullaby's drifting me off to sleep every night. I went downstairs to bake cookies but it still didn't make me tired. Let's just say that today with Seth and Brooke, it'll be an extremely long and painful day.
"Morning Bella." Rose walks out of the bathroom with her hair up in a ponytail. She never has it up. Things must be that bad.
"How are things?" She looks awful, completely and utterly awful. Her hair is a mess, she's wearing yesterday's make-up and she's even in a pair of sweats. Rose in sweats? Rose in a ponytail? Rose in a day old make-up? It's just not like her.
"Still really bad," she's about to tear up but I rush over to her and hold her in my arms. She and I both need the comfort today. "Emmett won't talk to me."
"I feel your pain," I tell her and she asks me how. "Edward's not talking to me either."
"What happened?"
I tell her the exact same thing I told Edward last night. How I left the club with strangers, how I trusted them to look out for me, in which they didn't. How I remember getting blem with them and completely wasted. And then I tell her about the video James had shown me. Her reaction isn't as bad as Edwards.
"Oh Bella," she hugs me tighter. "I'm so sorry about that."
"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry you're in pain too Rose." I'm sorry we all are. And I wonder when things will go back to the way they were. I miss this house being all pepped up because of Alice, and annoyed because of Emmett. I miss when Rose would blast music while she and Alice got ready and I miss how Jasper will tell us stories by the pool. I miss when Jessica would piss all of us off, and I miss how Mike is just goofy. I miss Jake making fun of Emmett and I miss when Edward and Emmett battled it out on the Wii. I miss all of us just hanging out in the living room or by the pool laughing and making memories.
All of that's disappeared and replaced with silence and hate.
"We should have a girl's night," she tells me suddenly a little excited. I realized how monotone her voice was two minutes ago. "Just me and you, what do you say?"
I think about how tiring last night was and how much pain I'm in- physically from James shoving me and emotionally from what happened- but I tell her I'd hang out for a while because I know she really needs it and deep down, I do to.
The doorbell rings and it's my signal for Seth and Brooke's arrival. Through the windows I can hear Payton calling after Seth who's laughing and making weird noises.
"What the pixie couldn't take care of them herself? She's not even doing anything." I hear Rose mumble when I walk out.
I grab the door and Seth and Brooke come running in, making their way to god knows where. Payton shoots me an apologetic smile.
"I should warn you," she begins to say and I have a feeling it won't be good news. "Seth snuck some of his grandma's sugar cookies this morning and he and Brooke had a whole plate full. Plus pancakes with extra syrup..."
"So that explains their hyperness," I hear them giggling in the background. "Alice picks the wrong day to hand them over to me!"
"Well these angels are all yours," she winks at me, turning her heel. "Have fun Bella!"
Not likely.
I close the door shut and follow the noise of the hyper little "angels". I find them reaching for the lock of the door leading to the pool.
"Hey Auntie Bella! Can we go swimming? Please?" Seth is hopping like a kangaroo towards me. Exactly how many sugar cookies were on that plate? "Please? Please? Please!"
"You guys didn't even bring your bathing suits," I rummage around their backpacks not seeing any swim shorts. Seth and Brooke both pull off their shirts revealing their swim clothes. "Oh. Well look at that you already have them on."
"Are you going to swim with us Bella?" Brooke tugs on the bottom of my shirt all shy and friendly. I bend down to her level to tie her hair up.
"Would you like me to?"
She nods silently with a big smile on her face. I tell the two of them to stay put while I run upstairs and throw on my bathing suit. When I get to my side of the closet there's nothing but two piece's lying around. It's just my luck that I'd forget to do my laundry. Looks like I'm going to have to wear a bikini. Shoot me now.
I pick a plain blue bikini and throw on a cover up sweater. Rose mumbles a 'hi' on my way out and for a second I forgot she'd been lying there.
"Hurry Aunt Bella!" Seth is pulling the knob of the unlocked door clearly over excited for swimming.
"Don't you have a pool at home?" I ask him looking for my converse. Normally Alice would yell at me for wearing shoes with my swim suit but since she's not here I should take advantage of my freedom.
"Yes but it's not as fun as yours!" He's becoming even more impatient. "Hurry! Hurry!"
"The pool's not going to go anywhere, geeze!" I quickly slip on my shoes and once I unlock the door the two of them race out. They quickly get out of their clothing and roll on their swim floats before jumping into the shallow end of the pool.
Not wanting to get into the hassle of drying up for a long period of time, I sit at the edge of the pool and watch Seth and Brooke chase and splash each other around. I smile at the thought of having my own kids one day. I really never even thought about it before, but being around Seth and Brooke makes me want to start a family someday soon.
Thirty minutes later when they're tired of swimming we go in to make coloured cupcakes- Seth's 'genius' idea. Luckily for them Rose has a few bottles of food colouring that she wouldn't mind we use.
While I let Seth colour the different bowls full of cupcake mix to his choice, I help Brooke with drying up her hair.
"Is this what having a mommy feels like?" The six year olds these days know so much more than they should.
I remember Payton telling us that Brooke has been living with her dad since she was born. Her mom took off as soon as she was let out of the hospital and they haven't heard from her since. Brooke's dad is a heavy smoker, but we all appreciate the fact that he puts Brooke before anyone else, even himself. This is why he's looking for a family to adopt Brooke. He can no longer take care of her due to his development of lung cancer a few months ago.
As I look at Brooke and braid her hair, I want to cry knowing that she's losing another person so important in her life. I want to cry because she's not old enough to understand all of this and I want to just sit here and hug her just to let her know that everything's going to be okay. But she doesn't know what's going to hit her. Not just yet.
"Do you miss your mom?" I ask her finishing up the first braid. I move onto the other half of her head.
Her head hangs low as she responds, "I always ask daddy about her, since I don't know her... he says she's a nice lady and she loves me a lot."
"I'm sure she wonders about you too. And I know she loves you a lot."
After I finish braiding the other side I give her a hug. At first she's surprised, but she adjusts after a while. Seth runs to join us in a hug and he says, "You girls are the best in the world!"
When I let go, Seth and Brooke are still hugging each other. I can see how much he cares about her and how much she needs him in her life even if she doesn't know it yet. I hope these two will stay friends for a while.
"Alright guys let's finish baking these cupcakes okay?"
In the middle of popping the trays in the oven Seth yells out, "Eddie!" making me nearly drop the trays on the floor. Brooke giggles at me, but if only she knew that my sudden reaction wasn't because I was excited.
"Hey Seth," I hear his voice from behind me. I can feel his eyes on me too. "Hi Brooke," he says when she disappears from beside me. When I turn around he picks her up in his arms. He looks like a father I want to join the embrace. But I can't. I'm not sure of where we stand. "Bella." He nods at me, not looking at me this time.
"Hi." I almost whisper.
"Aren't you two going to kiss?" Seth starts to pucker his lips, kissing the air. Brooke is giggling in Edward's arms. Is it so bad that I'm a little jealous of her right now?
"Seth go wash up," I tell him suddenly embarrassed by his question. He shakes his head no at me. "Seth." I say with warning.
"But you have to kiss because you love each other right?" As adorable as he is, it'd be nice if he can just shut up... I feel awkward standing here.
"Seth it's a little complicating-" Edward begins to say but Brooke cuts him off.
"You don't love each other no more?" There's a frown on Brooke's face and I can tell she's thinking about her parents. "Bella are you going to leave?"
"Brooke what makes you think that?"
"Daddy said mommy didn't love him anymore so she left." There's hurt in her voice and I can see it all over her face. I hate to see her so upset. So I walk up towards her and Edward and I give him a quick kiss on the lips. I don't miss the fact that he kisses me back for a second. It puts a smile on both our faces. Even Seth and Brooke's.
I hold my arms out for Brooke and Edward gives her to me. "See Brooke? Edward and I still love each other. I'm not going anywhere." As I say this I'm looking at Edward making sure he gets the message too.
"Neither am I." He says holding my gaze.
He stands in front of Brooke and I, and puts an arm around her and his hand rests on my back. "Your mommy didn't stop loving your daddy," he tells her, stroking her hair with his other hand. "She did what she thought was best. Sometimes adults have to make hard choices."
I feel a tug on my shirt and I look down seeing Seth looking up at us. "Can I have my best friend for a second please?" He politely asks.
I put Brooke down and once she's on the floor Seth gives her a big hug. I smile at the two of them, so does Edward and our eyes connect for a second.
"I love you!" He says with a wide smile and then he kisses her cheek. She turns red and giggly. "I'll never leave you Brooke. I promise." He holds out his pinky for her to wrap hers around. She does without hesitance. If Rose and Alice were here they'd be balling their eyes out.
She starts to cry and Seth catches each tear, and brushes them away. "Don't cry," he hugs her again and this time he holds her longer. "Don't cry pretty Brooke." He lets go of her and runs out of the kitchen for a minute. When he runs back in he's holding a clear plastic bag and gives it to her.
"It's a Brookie!" His pearly whites make the room glow. "With red smarties just how you like it!" She opens the bag and pulls out a cookie in the shape of a 'B' for Brooke. I laugh out loud when I realize he called it a Brookie merging her name and cookie together. It's admiring how adorable he is.
"Wow!" She sniffles. "Thanks!" The two of them go back to giggling and teasing each other leaving Edward and I standing in the kitchen alone.
I walk to the island and start picking up all the bowls we'd used and place them in the sink. Edward's on the other side of the island picking up our mess and as he hands me a spoon, our fingers brush against each other and lingers for a moment. When I move my hand away from his I feel a tingling sensation I can never ignore.
I glance up and our eye's meet. For a minute we stand here frozen in time, just staring into each other's eyes and in a blink of an eye, he looks away.
I turn around and clean up the last of our mess. I move to the oven checking on our cupcakes and once I've decided they need to be left in for another ten minutes or so I turn around again and Edward's sitting on a stool facing me.
"How was your day?" I ask him while I listen closely to determine what Seth and Brooke are doing in the other room now. They're watching SpongeBob.
"Short, but I'm not complaining," I look up at the time and see it's only three o'clock. He's home earlier than usual. "And yours?"
"I thought it'd be tiring, but Seth and Brooke are actually good, fun company."
"They're something, aren't they?" He smiles at me and I nod in agreement.
As much as I've tried to ignore it all day, I can't help it anymore. I look at Edward with confusion and not excitement like on Christmas morning and I miss that. I have to know where we stand as of now. I hate not being able to run up to him when he gets home or hold his hand or kiss him to the point where I almost give myself up.
We say each others names at the same time and then we awkwardly chuckle and tell each other, "You go first."
"Go on Bella."
I take a seat right across from him folding my hands on the table. He does the same, breathing out deeply.
"You know I don't want us fighting..." I begin to say studying his face. He looks like he hasn't gotten any sleep in days. Actually to be honest, almost all of us look like that.
"And I promised we won't," he takes my hand in his, the tingling sensation lingering again. "Which is why I think you and I need a little space."
Space... a little space... well that's no good. He may as well just ask me to move to the other side of the world. At least that's what having space feels like to me. Space means distance. Distance means not seeing or talking to each other regularly. That's what Charlie and Renee started out with- space.
"We don't need space," I completely disagree with him mostly because I feel like we're falling apart and space isn't going to help it. "We need to talk this out."
"What else is there to say Bella? I drove you straight into the hands of those immature punks," there's one hundred percent venom in his voice. This side of him scares me, a little, but I won't admit it. "It was because of me you nearly... died and how can you expect me to just look at you and not feel this guilt?"
"Here you go again with blaming yourself! It's not your fault Edward. It was just a stupid phase and I let jealously get to me. I did that to myself. You had no part in it!"
He slaps his hand hard on the table making me jump. I can hear the volume from the T.V increase. Seth and Brooke can hear us.
"Can you not make so much noise? You know there are kids in the other room."
"Then maybe you shouldn't raise your voice."
"Well maybe you should stop being so annoying with constantly putting yourself down! Not everything is about you Edward!" I can't believe the level of my tone right now, neither can Edward. But it's not my fault. I am so full of anger right now. How can Edward just take the blame and feel guilty? How can he weigh so much on himself? He never appreciates himself. There's always a flaw in him. Sure people have their flaws, but why push people away because of it?
Jake walks in and Edward gives him a stare until he leaves. Edward is completely silent and I guess I turned out as a complete bitch.
"Look Edward you can't just keep putting yourself down like this okay? What happened, happened and I'm here now. We all are. As long as we're okay, it's what matters."
"When you told me last night that you left because of me... you don't know how much hate I had for myself."
"Edward it's not your fault," but he keeps shaking his head in disagreement. "Stop it!" I yell out getting tired of this. "You have to listen to me Edward it's not your fault. I got out of hand okay? It was all me! I was being a child and I ran away instead of fixing it. I depended on those people to help take that pain away." I don't know how many more times I have to say this to finally make him realize that he's not the one to blame for what happened.
His eyes start to water and I try not to focus on them because then it'll turn into a sad fest. "Don't disappear like that again, it scared me. It scared all of us." I appreciate him telling me this even though this happened months ago. I guess he hasn't moved on yet.
Brooke in her little pink dress comes running in and jumps on Edward. She's wiping away his tears with a frown. "Don't cry. Be happy." She tells him. He smiles strongly at her and kisses her cheek. The way he's so gentle and loving with Brooke is admiring. Edward will make an amazing father one day.
Fifteen minutes later when the sad fest is over- for the sake of Seth and Brooke- we take out the cupcakes and start decorating them. Brooke decides she'll decorate her Brookies first and Edward joins her. Seth and I are sitting on top of the wooden table colouring the frosting to match the cupcakes. If Renee were to see this she'd yell at the both of us telling us that tables aren't for sitting, and there's a reason for chairs. Payton would probably react the same, but in this house there are no rules. Except for no peeing in the pool. You'd think this would be common sense to go to the bathroom before you swim, but unfortunately Emmett doesn't get the point. We've caught him at least five times.
Once the cupcakes and cookies are done and we're tidying up I hear Brooke tell Edward, "I wish you and Bella were my mommy and daddy." The tone of her voice says she's serious and not just saying that. Edward looks up at me through his long lashes giving me that small hint of hope for our future.
Twenty minutes later the kids are sleepy so Edward puts them to bed in his room. I peak through his door and see him reading to Brooke while Seth is already asleep. Her eyes are blinking slowly, drifting towards sleep and when they close shut he removes his arm around her and gives her a kiss on the forehead.
"Sweet dreams angel." He whispers to her and gets up off the bed, placing the book back in her little purple bag. When he starts towards the door I start walking down the hall to my room.
"Bella," he calls after me and I turn around to meet his warm, inviting eyes. "Would you like to go to dinner?" Almost an hour ago he'd been saying he needed space and I would have to say this isn't helping. But I'm not going to go against it.
"She's having girl's night with me Edward," Rose appears behind me. She's finally stepped out of our room and she's not wearing sweats anymore. She's already dressed up and I'm assuming ready to go. "Sorry try again tomorrow."
I look back at Edward throwing him my apologetic smile. He smiles back at me and says, "Well it's too bad Rosalie. I have two tickets to the car show tonight and personally I'm not much of a fan…" He takes the tickets out of his back pocket and Rose's eyes are so wide you'd think they'd pop out.
"H-how?" She stares blankly at the tickets. "But…but they were sold out! Those are impossible to get! I've been trying for weeks!" She runs up to him squealing and grabbing the tickets out of his hand. "Sorry Bella we're going to have to reschedule!" she bolts down the stairs, still screaming. I hope she doesn't wake Seth and Brooke up.
"Jake come with me to the car show!" We hear Rose's excitement downstairs.
Jake groans. "Whyyyyyyy?"
"Because we're best friends," she laughs and I can picture her poking him when she says it. "Duh. Okay come on quit stalling the show starts in an hour. Let's go!"
"He was supposed to babysit the kids," Edward pouts making me giggle. Judging by the silence it sounds like they've already left. "Dammit! I was paying him too!"
"It's okay we can just stay in. Jasper's still at work and so is Alice. Mike and Jessica are gone and now Rose and Jake are. The house is pretty peaceful without Emmett so we should take advantage of it."
"True," his lips press together in thought as he walks towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist. My arms shoot up around his neck, this closeness I've been missing. "I could play chef and make us a meal."
"What's on the menu Chef Edward?" Ugh! I sound so corny.
"Mac and cheese," he grins widely. "It's my specialty."
My head pulls back in laughter. "Lucky me."
He kisses me, another feeling I've missed all day and night. I don't want him to stop, so I try to keep it going as long as I can. Unfortunately for me he breaks the kiss with a chuckle.
"Feisty, are we?"
"Hey you have to make up for all those kisses I missed last night and all day mister," I pull his head back down, desperate to feel his soft lips against mine. "What are you waiting for?" I ask him seeing his lips pulled up in a smile.
"You're amazing, do you know that?"
"Show me how amazing you think I am." I say, and he doesn't exactly what I expect. He closes the gap between our mouths and with the passion and intensity in this kiss; I don't think dinner will be ready for a while.
So this story is coming to an end in the next few chapters.
I was thinking of making a sequel, but judging from the numbers supporting this story I'm not sure if it's best to continue.
I mean I love writing for you guys and all and I appreciate the support, but I'm not motivated enough to continue and I'm sure I'll be having so much writer's block if I do have a sequel.
I'm thinking about creating another story instead. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll decide when the story's close to over.
Thanks again guys!
PS - I'm not done with the drama ;)