Author's note:

Hey! First of all, my deepest apologies. Second of all, thank you for sticking with this. I finally have some time for the fic world (yey!). I have another pretty involving job lined up for january, so hopefully I'll get all my fics wrapped up before then, so I won't be leaving you hanging for so long.

So tell me what you think, tell me what you love, tell me what you hate, tell me what you want.

And thanks again for reading!

CHAPTER 24: Growing pains

Jess noticed the tension had built itself up when he stepped onto the waiting room and found Lorelai sniffling, her eyes reddened.

His suspicions were confirmed when he found Rory wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist as Annie hopped on the sidewalk.

Jess was amazed by the speed with which kids bounced back, and the short amount of time it took for adults to hurt one another.

"You ok?" Jess asked.

Rory shrugged. "I should be asking you that."

"You already know I'm not."

"And you don't know how I am?"

"Touché." Jess ruffled Annie's hair and stepped aside as she jumped all the way to the start. Rory took her turn and tossed her pebble to the sidewalk. "Luke said he'd stay overnight, take Liz to the clinic in the morning. He gave me the keys to the pickup."

"I have to get some stuff from my mom's house… I'm moving camp tonight," Rory said as she hopped onto the squares that were free. Jess looked at her, questioning, but she just hopped along.

"We can help out, can't we, Annie?" Jess asked, as Rory hopped back to the start.

Annie shook her head at Jess, all scowls. "You're stepping on my square."

Rory chuckled lightly. "Either play or get outta the way, Jess!"

Jess rolled his eyes at them.

- - - - - - - - - -

He waited in the pickup while she got her things.

Jess was fully aware that Rory was at odds with Lorelai. It was the kind of thing that he could sense coming off her in waves. It was always an undercurrent in their relationship, Lorelai's disapproval, and Rory had always dealt with it quietly, with some sort of dignified strength that Jess had never learned.

But something Lorelai had said must have hit too close to home, and Rory had snapped, and Jess could bet things were said that neither of them meant.

All this he knew from watching her move in her seat, from the way she approached the truck, a duffel in hand.

She swung the bag into the backseat and got into the truck again. Jess asked nothing, and for this Rory was grateful.

She had no answers, none that were good enough.

She had stood in her room, surrounded by clothes and plastic ponies, and she had tried hard not to cry.

She thought that maybe this was her real entrance into adulthood.

That this precise instant, leaving her childhood home behind, her decisions questioned, her convictions unwavering, this was it.

She was finally Rory Gilmore, the woman.

And Rory Gilmore, the woman, played itsy-bitsy-spider with Annie.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I screwed up," Lorelai said, her hands on the steering wheel, headed to the hotel.

Luke shrugged. "Liz screwed up. You just made a mistake."

"A screwy mistake." Lorelai made a wrong turn.

Luke checked his seatbelt. "He's good, Lore. As hard as it is for you to admit it, he's good, and he's good for her."

Lorelai shook her head. "A kid, Luke. He has a kid, for all intents and purposes, and that's a lifetime commitment that's his now, not hers."

"Rory was your lifetime commitment. April's mine. We don't always choose when they come. Doesn't mean life is worse for their being here."

Lorelai honked at the car in front of her and sniffled. "I don't want her to look back with regret…"

"Do you regret her?"

"Of course not! How can you even ask that?"

Luke laughed to himself a bit, and reached out to tuck a strand of Lorelai's hair behind her ear. "You can't protect her from regret. And you can't stop her from doing what she will. She's a Gilmore, isn't she?"

"Yes, but…"

"Rory will be fine. And if she chooses, she'll be fine with Jess. You can't change who she's become… You can only… let her figure things out on her own."

"When did you get so smart?" Lorelai asked as the traffic inched along.

"Lots of Rory's books lying around your house. They had to be good for something."

- - - - - - - - - -

Annie tucked in and asleep?

Check.

Jess tired and cranky?

Check.

Rory tired and sad?

Check.

No bed?

Check.

Huh.

"I think I'll walk over to the bookstore, sleep upstairs," Rory started, going for her duffel. What had she been thinking? She wondered what she had expected. She wasn't entirely sure.

"You don't have to."

"Really, it's fine, it's…"

"Dusty, and sleeping on a mattress Kirk picked out is creepy and…"

"I'll be fine…"

"Stay."

There. He'd said it.

They were still tiptoeing around each other. Still.

"I fought with my mom. She…" Rory started, plopping down on the couch.

"Said things she didn't mean, I'm sure," Jess finished.

"Probably. They hurt just as much as if she'd meant them, though."

Jess sighed, and took a seat next to her. "Was it about me?"

"More or less. You, me. Liz. Annie. You. Me."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"So what do you think? About what she said?"

Rory laughed, resting the back of her head on the couch and staring at the ceiling. "That she's both right and full of crap."

"Care to elaborate?"

Rory scooted over to Jess and rested her head on his shoulder. "Nothing that we haven't talked about. Just…" Rory paused, pondering how to say what she was about to say. "Today I noticed that it's not just that Annie's growing attached to me, it's that I'm growing attached to her."

"That's bad?" Jess asked.

Rory shook her head. "It's not that. It's… Annie has a mother, and a brother. That's Liz and you. And she has a functioning parent, that's you as well. I don't quite see where I fit in this… if I fit in this… if I should even be around trying to fit in this."

"You've thought about this a lot."

"Yes. I know I should have been thinking of more productive things and that you've got other things on your mind, what with Liz and all, but it's just been turning in my mind…"

Jess kissed Rory's forehead. "Liz is Annie's mother, but she hasn't acted like a mother in a long time. And I'm the kid's functioning parental figure, I guess that's as close to a definition as I'll get. And you… You're her Rory. What that will end up meaning is up to her and you and time."

"I…" Rory started. There was more she wanted to say, but she really couldn't get it out. "She's a good kid."

"She is."

Rory decided it was time to change the subject. "So which center is Liz moving to?" Rory asked.

"Sunny Brook," Jess said, sighing into her hair. "I hate the names these places have. Like they should be country inns or retirement homes."

"I think it's good you picked somewhere close. You can visit. Annie can visit. It'll be good for Liz… I think."

Jess tensed up. "Frankly, I don't feel like visiting her all that much."

"Jess…"

"Not saying I'm not going to go. I'll go," Jess said. "Just talking about Liz makes me want to smoke." He stood up, frustrated.

"Hey…" she said, touching her fingers to his arm.

"I said I'd go," he replied sternly. "I need to... get some air… Can you watch her?"

Rory nodded, letting go of his arm. He grabbed his jacket and left.

- - - - - - - -

Cigarette after goddam cigarette, watching the diner window, the lights dimmed.

Rory paced, crossing the window once, twice, fifteen times.

Jess crushed his last cigarette and walked back into the diner again.

- - - - - - - - -

Rory was still pacing when he came back.

She was hurt. He could tell.

But she knew he needed those fifteen minutes she'd given him.

And she knew he'd been across the street, watching over them.

"I'm tired," she said, softly echoing his own thoughts.

He could feel his eyelids grow heavy under her admission.

"Let's go to bed," he replied, holding his hand out to hers.

She took it.

- - - - - - - - -

They kicked their shoes off and climbed into Luke's bed, clumsy bodies heavy with sleep.

He pulled her towards him, his arms around her waist, his nose buried in her neck.

"The yelling and the anger and the hurt I can handle," Rory said softly, stifling a yawn against her pillow. "It's the running that makes me nervous."

"I came back."

"You always do."

"I'm not that guy anymore, Rory. I don't leave anymore. Sometimes I want to, but I stay…"

"I know," Rory said, turning to face him. In the dark, with his two nights worth of stubble and worry, he looked much older. "I guess I'll always be a little scared."

"Always?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, glad to take the comedic out.

"Shut up."

"Sleep."

"Hold me?" she asked, almost childishly.

He was already holding her, cradling her close. Still, he nodded, lacing her fingers with his.

- - - - - - - - - -

He woke up all tangled and uncomfortable. It was almost dawn, he could tell by the smell of the dew on the trees outside.

This was the one thing he liked about the town itself. The smell of morning dew. But Rory was sleeping on top of his arm and it was cramping.

"Ror," he whispered.

Her eyelashes seemed sticky with unspent tears and her eyes refused to open. He slowly disengaged his arm from under her and she felt unsettled at the loss of his proximity. Her eyelids fluttered open. "Hey," she whispered, sleepily. Stretching.

"My arm..." Jess started.

"Oh, sorry about that," she said, her voice heavy. She stretched her arms upwards, her belly pressing against him.

"'S ok," he replied, the breath rushing out of him. In the faint light of daybreak, he could see the skin exposed by her t-shirt. For a second, it didn't matter whether or not they had showered and changed clothes in the last 48 hours (they had not) or wether they smelled (they did).

They mattered. He showed her that much as he pressed his lips against hers, all force and abrupt breathing.

His hand ventured under her t-shirt, and she gasped at the skin-to-skin contact.

"Jess," she hissed out.

He backed away for half a second. "Got carried away," he admitted, pressing his forehead against hers. "Sorry."

With closed eyes they both took deep breaths.

She nodded heavily, pressing her lips together, savoring the moment. "You wake me up at 4 am, you better not be sorry."

"Five-thirty." he corrected.

Rory shrugged. "If I tell you something you have to promise you won't freak out."

"I can't promise that."

"Jess..."

"Fine, I promise I won't freak out."

"Pinky swear," Rory insisted.

"Five thirty-two am," Jess countered.

"Fine," she conceded. "You're no fun."

"Tick-tock," Jess said, smiling.

"I love you."

Silence.

"Huh."

"I knew you would freak out."

"No, it's just..."

"I'm not saying it to hear it back from you, I'm actually saying it back I guess, because you were brave enough to tell me so many years ago and maybe you don't feel the same way anymore, but I'm saying it because it's true with all it's addendums and with Annie... I'm getting there. I mean, I'm crazy about that kid, but I don't know how to put a label on that yet, but I know that I love you... I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Jess nodded silently.

"Sorry... just forget I said anything."

"No," he said, pulling her close by the waist, his hands firmly planted on her hips.

"Jess?" she asked, tentatively.

"I think it's entirely possible that I never got over you, at all," he confessed.

"Oh," Rory answered, her eyebrows raised. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Ok then," Rory said, accepting it.

"Now that it's settled, can we go back to what we were doing before?" Jess asked.

"Sleeping?" Rory asked.

"Just after that," Jess said, nuzzling against her neck.

"Freaking out?" Rory quipped.

"Real funny, Ror," he answered, kissing Rory an inch below her earlobe.

Rory shivered.

Just then there was a soft knock on Luke's bedroom door, which was not fully closed.

"Jess?" Annie's voice asked.

Jess jumped up from the bed and went to the door. "What's up, kid?" he asked, taking the little girl in his arms. "Had a bad dream?"

Annie nodded almost imperceptibly. Big tears started squeezing out from under her short eyelashes.

"What happened?" Jess asked. "Do you want to tell me about it?" He took her over to the bed and sat Annie down next to Rory, who was watching the whole interaction with hesitance.

Annie shook her head in answer. She rubbed her eyes and sniffled.

"They say that if you tell someone your bad dreams it jinxes them... helps so that they won't come true," Rory said softly. She reached over and smoothed Annie's hair, reassuring. Annie looked at Rory warily.

"I've heard that, too," Jess added, giving Rory a grateful half smile.

"I dreamed that you went away," Annie told Jess, her voice small. "And that you didn't come back, and Jake came and got me and took me back..."

Annie's tears started flowing again as she spoke and she threw herself at Jess, her arms around his neck. He could feel the hot tears against his neck.

"I'm not going anywhere, kid," he said. "I'm staying right here with you."

She cried on his shoulder a few more minutes, until she was all cried out. She looked up at him, sniffling. "Really?"

"Swear."

"Pinky swear?"

Jess hooked her pinky with his. "Pinky swear."

She sniffled, smiling a little in the dark. "Ok."

"Do you want to sleep over? Just for tonight?" Jess asked.

Annie nodded. "Only if you don't kiss like when you do the alone sleepovers," she replied, still sniffling as she settled between Jess and Rory.

Rory blushed furiously. "Maybe I should go," she started, sitting up.

"Stay, Rory, please..." Annie asked. She took hold of Rory's arm.

Jess nodded, willing her to stay.

Rory nodded. "Ok. I'll stay. That way I can keep some of those bad dreams away."

"Goodnight, Rory," Annie said.

"Goodnight, Annie."

"Goodnight, Jess," Annie added.

"Goodnight, kid."

Silence.

"You're supposed to say goodnight to each other," Annie pointed out, annoyed.

"Right. Goodnight, Jess," Rory said, in a sing song voice.

"Goodnight, Rory. Goodnight, Annie. Goodnight, goldfish. Now can we sleep, please?"

Annie giggled. "Goodnight, grumpy."

Rory couldn't help laughing.

Jess started to tickle Annie. "You'll pay for that..."

And so Annie shrieked and a night time tickle fight began.

TBC...