Disclaimer: Still in Cartoon Network's possession. Still on hiatus.

Hopeless

He cradles Artemis in his arms, fingers on her neck just so he can feel her heartbeat and know she's alive. There's a nasty gash on her forehead, the cause of her unconsciousness, and budding bruises along her stomach and limps. Underneath an ice dome, he's shifted to normality, something he's never done on a mission, but it's not like Artemis has ever been hurt like this. Even out of hero mode, his cool skin against hers prompts small shivers to shake her body.

It's only luck—if he dare even call it that—that he was closest to her when she was injured. The others are scattered, taking down the last of the enemies, and it's going to be a few minutes until they can head back to the ship. Wally's worried thoughts are bouncing around his skull, and he's trying to soothe him, but he knows the speedster won't relax until the she is safely in his arms.

As Cam holds her, taking in her features, he doesn't want to let her go. The love he's been holding back is burning within him because she's right there in front of him, so beautiful, and she's hurt and she needs him, and he'd do everything for her, anything she asked of him, and why can't she see that?

"Cam! Cam!"

That's why. Her real hero. The boy she loves, the boy who loves her. The boy who deserves her.

With a quick wave of his free hand, the ice melts around him, and Wally rushes forward, arms outstretched. Hiding his reluctance, Cam shifts her to Wally. Immediately, she stops trembling, nestling her head into his stomach. There's a sharp pain in the cryokinetic's chest, but he forces a smile to his face anyway. "We won?"

"Cops are getting them now." Getting to his feet, Wally tenderly kisses the wound on his girlfriend's face. "It's okay, babe, it's okay."

Swallowing hard, Cam murmurs, "Let's go. Sooner we get there, sooner she can get treated."

Neither talks to the other on the way back, Wally too consumed with whispering sweetly to Artemis and Cam too consumed with keeping his emotions in check. Even though he's seen Wally and Artemis together before, plenty of times, it hurts so much more now because he wants to be the one taking care of her, protecting her, and it's wrong and he's being selfish and he knows he shouldn't be feeling this way but he can't stop himself.

When they get to the ship, Artemis is laid down on one of the chairs, and Robin starts to tend to her wounds while Megan mans the controls. Wally is right by the archer's side, hand holding hers. There's another stabbing pain, and Cam takes a seat as far as he dares, staring at the world rather than his best friend. ETA is ten minutes when a soft groan greets his ears. In spite of himself, he whirls around to see Artemis sitting up slowly, inspecting the bandage. The next instant, Wally is pulling her into a tight hug. An angry, hurt, jealous part of him wants to find something wrong, something that would prove that he'd be a better boyfriend, but there's nothing, because Wally's perfect for her and that's why she's with him, will always be with him.

"Hey, Frostbite, get your ass over here."

Managing a smirk, he obeys and takes a seat beside. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Rapunzel."

She rolls her eyes at him and gives him a gentle shove. "All part of the plan. A distraction."

"Oh, yeah, okay. Thanks for letting me in on the plan."

"Hey, you're use to saving me by now. It's your basic instincts. I knew you'd be there for me."

The others laugh and continue talking to her, but Cam's shut himself off from the conversation. The pride he feels over her compliment is countered by overwhelming sadness because that's all he'll ever be to her, the best friend who has her back. And it's not like that's a bad thing, it's a fricking great thing, but he doesn't want to be just that. He wants her to love him like he loves her, has loved her since the first time they met, and it kills him that she doesn't. After everything they've been through, all their history, old and new, he doesn't understand why she only sees him as a friend, why he can't be good enough for her. Maybe if he was smarter, if he switched sides sooner, if he fought against the beatings as a kid…

What if games are bad, he can hear Dinah saying. You shouldn't focus on things you can't change.

He has no other option, though, because there's nothing he can change now, not without causing Artemis to break-up with Wally. And no matter how much he wants to be with her, he would never want that because he's good to her, he's what she needs, and he would never have her lose that just for his own happiness.

When they arrive at the Cave, Artemis is led to the Infirmary, despite her insistence that really, she's just fine. Batman congratulates them, at least as much as the vigilante can, and permits them to leave. Wally hauls it in the direction of the medical wing, and Cam retreats to his bedroom, fighting the urge to follow. He drops onto his bed and grabs his iPod—a gift from Dinah—and blasts the music. The first song that plays is Nickelback's "Far Away," and if it didn't hurt so much to hear, Cam would've laughed.

He should move on. Pining after her isn't doing him any good, and it's not healthy, he's pretty sure. Besides, she has the boy of her dreams, and he should be happy with that. He can't, though, because she was the light of his life all those years ago, still is, and he cannot see himself with any other girl, no matter how hard he tries or how many times he tells himself that he has to.

Hours pass, and when his thoughts are no longer silenced by the music, he allows himself to go check if Artemis is still in the Infirmary. She's probably not, and even if she is, she must be asleep by now.

He's wrong on both counts.

"Hey, Cam." She sits up in bed. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Just thought I'd see if you were here. Is the cut that bad?"

"No, they're just overreacting." Moving over, she pats the side of the bed. "C'mon, sit."

"I'm good," he insists, ignoring every urge to agree and opting instead to take a seat in one of the chairs. "You alright?"

Rolling her eyes, she returns, "I've taken plenty worse. Seriously, you're almost as bad as Wally."

"I just want you to be okay." It flies from his mouth before he can bite it back.

Her eyes soften. "I know. And it means a lot to me. Thanks, Cam."

"What are best friends for?" he asks, and it tastes bitter.

"You wanna sleep with me?"

The opportunity too good to pass up, he jokes, "I'm not sure Wally would be okay with that."

The head wound doesn't decrease the strength of her punches. "You're a riot. Seriously, though, you want to?"

He should say no. He really, really should say no. But he can't.

Wordlessly, he lies beside her, on top of the covers, like always. They talk for a few minutes until her sentences become more and more spaced apart before stopping completely. Sleep won't come to him, not that he's surprised, and all he can do is think about all the things he'll never tell her.

I love you. It tiptoes on his tongue. I love you and I have always loved you and I will always love you.

He doesn't speak it aloud, for her sake and for his.

That doesn't make the pain stop.