Brandon's Doom
Winter is Coming II

"NO WITNESSES!"
- Articuno, prior to turning Orell the Wildling into a red stain.

"Oh come on! How are we meant to deal with that?"
- Brandon Stark, prior to receiving a glacier to the Face!

"Ah, My face! You bitch Articuno!"
- Kyurem, after receiving a ballista to the Face!

"Shiiiitttt..."
- Robb Stark, on receiving an important letter.

"I feel that we are moving too fast. Usually we take a five month rest after every battle."
- The Night's King, to Kyurem. He vanished shortly afterwards.

"The...time...comes... Once more...I shall be...complete..."
- Kyurem the Ice Dragon

Now finally this book gets to that part of our history beloved by sadists and Team Cipher apologists everywhere - the Fall of the Wall (and everything beyond it obviously). To the surprise of pretty much everyone, in 300AC we weren't the only faction that had appeared out of nowhere to screw with the world. From the chilly lands in the far north marched an army of Ice Zombies/Elves, who preferred to be called 'the Others' (or possibly the White Walkers, it's kind of unclear). Thanks to the lax behaviour of the Night's Wat-

Wait, what was tha-

'Sounds of a scuffle ensue'

Ahem, since I was actually there I believe that I (Articuno) should write this chapter, if you don't mind Mew.

'Silence'

I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, where were you up to...they weren't that lax, considering this place hasn't figured out gunpowder or apricorns they had no chance of defeating Kyurem. Also, you said all this in a previous chapter.

'More Silence'

So yeah, after the Others had finished smashing the Night's Watch into thousands of tiny bits which was utterly hilarious to watch; they began chasing the escaping Free Folk towards the Wall. If the Others had any sort of air capability they would have probably caught up to them, but sadly Kyurem cannot fly and so they were forced to take the long route towards their desired victims. At least a fifth of their wights were lost in this journey, by tripping over loose pebbles and a tree stump. I confess, I had never seen a dragon facepalm until that day.

Poor Kyurem.

When the Free Folk finally reached the Wall they were faced with a large quandary: the remaining Night's Watch were not willing to let them through. They believed that the Free Folk themselves responsible for the deaths of the Great Ranging, under the orders of their traitor King Mace Rayder (who in all fairness had once been a member of the Watch). Their cries of 'The Others are Coming!' were ignored as trickery and deception.

In our modern and (relatively) peaceful world this occurrence might be difficult to understand for the reader, the very idea of the Night's Watch disbelieving the warnings unthinkable! Sadly, this wasn't our post-feudalism world (well, mostly - Latias threatened to repopulate Valyria on her own if we removed Princess Salvia) and the Watch had a feud with the Wildlings over 1000 years old. This feud was built on the blood of both groups - without a miracle, there was no chance that they could get along.

That doesn't stop it from being horribly depressing.

When the miracle did finally arrive...it was the side of the Others. Kyurem, who had flown into an apocalyptic rage upon discovering that another company of wights had re-killed themselves by walking into a tree, had resorted to drastic measures to solve this problem and so blasted a clear path through the Haunted Forest (and several Free Folk who had camped there (and a Stark for...some reason)). On the bright side, this meant that Kyurem was now rather tired - depriving the Others of their greatest firepower. On the downside, they didn't need that power to be victorious.

The Battle of the Wall (if we can actually call it that) was extremely one-sided. Much of the Night's Watch ran away upon seeing the undead marching towards them and the few that did not were unable to do much to help their side. Several of them rushed to open the gates underneath the Wall, their unending feud with the Wildlings forgotten with the sight of the approaching undead hordes. It was not enough. Many of the Free Folk fled to the east and west to escape, while others began climbing the Wall itself. More still fled into the opened tunnel to Castle Black - and were crushed in there by the weight of thousands of bodies, the pile of their corpses preventing any others from fleeing that way after barely ten minutes of the struggle.

They were a feast for the waiting dead. Despite the attempts of a noble few, the humans were struck down ten-at-a-time: not just the men, but the women and children too. They were like animals and were slaughtered like animals! The only ones to survive were the ones that ran fast enough.

Still, it wasn't entirely one-sided in the favour of the undead, for I (Articuno) choose this moment to rouse myself since Kyurem was looking ready for another blast. Since I was currently roosting in the aforementioned Wall, that would not be beneficial to me and so I was able to act 'in self defence' as my vow allows. Ice attacks would of course be useless against one of my own type and so I took a more inspired approach.

I dropped a ballista on his head. This was for several reasons: Firstly, those ballistas were extremely noisy and I wanted them gone. Secondly, Kyurem is unable to look up due to his 'Icy Problem' and so would not know my attack was coming until it was too late. Thirdly, it was hilarious (for me. Not for Kyurem).

The blow knocked Kyurem out instantly, buying a few more of the Free Folk some time to escape while the Others were busy screeching in rage. I was too busy cleaning myself to care as some of the grease used to keep the ballistas functioning had got on my tail feathers. It was gross, truly and my break to remove it was entirely reasonable whatever Celebi says.

Still, once they had gotten over their shock the Others proceeded through to capture Castle Black, killing the few Black Brothers that had remained there. Their bravery was admirable, even if it was kind of pointless. Most of them were already several miles southward, along with the surviving Free Folk (about 200 people under the leadership of a 'Princess Val'). King Mance and many other (in)famous Wildlings had not made it to safety.

Over the next fortnight, the rest of the Wall would fall. The army of the dead would grow to unbelievable heights, accompanied by the ever encroaching spread of winter. But it was not all good for the Others. With no warning, the leader of their conquest had vanished; leaving them with a very temperamental Ice Dragon as supreme leader. They had learned that other magical beings occupied this world and that they would not go quietly into the abyss. And their arrival on the realms of men would not now come as a surprise, for already warnings from the Maester of Castle Black were winging their way southwards with one message...

"The Wall has Fallen. They are Coming..."

Well, that went well. Thanks for letting me write this Mew. It's always nice to spend time togeth-

Mew?

Mew are you there?

Where could he have gone...hmm, oh there's a letter:

'If you want to see the Fetus again, come to Temporal Tower at Midnight. Bring the Wishmaker.'

...well that can't be good.

The Rise of the Meta Arc

Spear Pillar 3.0, the 24th of Last Seed, 523AC

Articuno: 'Frantically' Dialga! Celebi! Are you there?

Dialga:...no.

Celebi: Definitely not. I'm visiting a cousin at this precise moment.

Articuno: Shut up, I need your help. Mew's been kidnapped.

Celebi: 'Exasperated' Again?

Dialga: Have you checked with the usual suspects?

Articuno: Giratina and Cyrus had no ideas, Latias denied everything, no Ultra Beasts have appeared in three months and the Golden Goddesses are too busy flooding Hyrule to be causing trouble. The only one left to check is the Llama.

Dialga: Right then! Ahem...'Shouting' LLAMA-DAD! ARE YOU AND MEW HAVING A LOVER'S SPAT AGAIN?!

Arceus: 'Distantly' NO. NOT AT THIS TIME.

Dialga: THANKS! 'Normal Volume' So none of the usual people then...hmm...

Jirachi: Maybe it's Team Cipher again?

Articuno: AH! When did you get here?!

Jirachi:...I came in with you, remember?

Articuno:...oh. 'Looks embarrassed'

Celebi: I doubt it's Team Cipher again Jirachi, not after what we did in Orre.

'All of them laugh'

Jirachi: True, true. Definitely not anyone from that region. 'Smiles at the memories'

Dialga: Maybe it's the Missingno? Or the False One? Or the Chan-

The Other Three: 'Panicking' WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE CHANDITTOKIPS!

Arceus: 'Distantly' DO NOT MENTION THOSE THINGS WITHIN FIFTY LEAGUES OF ME! Assholes...

Dialga: 'Shouting' SORRY LLAMA-DAD! 'In an indoor voice' Ahem, sorry guys. I forgot the unspoken rule.

Celebi: It's fine Dia. We all have our slip ups.

Articuno: Oh that reminds me, the kidnapper wanted to meet us at Temporal Tower!

Dialga: Why does he want you to meet him in my temple?

Articuno: I don't know, you can ask him when we get there.

Dialga: You assume that I am accompanying you in this quest?

Jirachi: Are you?

Dialga:...yes.

Celebi: 'Excited' I'll come to! We can make a adventure out of finding out where Mew's buggered off to!

Landorus: He's been kidnapped.

Articuno: AH! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!

Landorus:...I've been sitting here the entire time!