Nicky smiles gratefully as Galina hands her a skirt that she hadn't seen before along with a thick turtleneck sweater. She wrinkles her nose, snorting a laugh and hoping she doesn't offend her. "It's summer, Red."
Red scowls disapprovingly with a shake of her head. "You're sick. Do we have to go through this again?" Though she sounded confident, inside she was incredibly worried about every single minute detail about what went on today. She had spent at least an hour picking out that simple outfit, carefully trawling the stores to find something that she thought Nicky would like and hoping it wasn't something she would have only liked at twelve years old. She was terrified that Nicky would push her away; terrified that any bad move or insensitive comment would drive her away and straight into the arms of drugs again. It made her shudder to think about.
Nicky smiles and shakes her head, causing Galina's heart to slow to normal pace once again. "Nope." It was nice having someone look after her again, and even if Red didn't quite understand that she would be sweating through her detox anyway, she appreciated the gesture. Unfurling the collar from her clammy neck, Nicky's hand scrabble for her necklace. The haze of painkillers were wearing off and she could finally think straight again. Suddenly, she felt sick under the heat of the hospital lights and her head swam from being lightheaded. It wasn't there. She hadn't taken it off in years, and it wasn't where it always was when she needed something to comfort her, it wasn't there for her to curl her fingers around….where was the damn thing?
Red watches Nicky. Finally, when she can't stand to not do anything anymore, her hand comes to rest on Nicky's shoulder. Nicky bats her hand away almost as a reflex, and then shakes her head in an apology. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Nicky says quickly, more of a perfunctory measure than anything else. She roughly pushes her hair out of her eyes and her eyes scan the room, taking in every detail, even the scuffed skirting boards.
Red locks eyes with her in a sympathetic gaze and this time, takes her hand firmly, her thumb rubbing circles on the back of Nicky's hand. "They had to take it off for your surgery. I kept it safe for you." She rummages in her purse and pulls out a scarf. She smiles apologetically as Nicky holds the scarf, seemingly not knowing what to do with it. "It was the only thing I had to keep it in. I didn't want it to get tangled."
"Oh," Nicky says. For the first time since she had come back, Galina sees a small but genuine smile appear on Nicky's face. Trustingly, and so utterly childlike, Nicky turns and pulls her hair over her shoulder so Galina can fasten the necklace around her neck, handing her the small bundle back. Red's fingers brush the back of her neck, and she allows her fingers to graze across her skin for longer than necessary as she swept away stray hairs. It had been so long since her fingers had raked through his hair. So long since her skin had the honor of being so connected to Nicky. She wasn't going to let it pass in the blink of an eye. A snicker escapes from Nicky's lips as the hair tickles her.
"Done," Galina says softly, turning Nicky back around. Giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, Red opens the door and leads Nicky out. The warm air of the morning engulfs them and the sunshine washing over their faces makes Nicky think that maybe, just maybe things would be okay in the end.
Nicky, as a rule, didn't collect memories. When Galina left, she didn't see the point - there simply wasn't anything worth remembering. Marka had taken photos, like any mother should, of milestones like her graduation or when she'd passed her driving test; any moment that was worthy of the Christmas card, anything that would paint Nicky in some semblance of praiseworthy would be snapped in some halfhearted token photo, that supposedly meant Marka was proud of her only child. On the contrary, her drug induced hazes were conscious efforts to forget.
So when Red finally bit the bullet and asks, Nicky winces at the mere thought of dredging up memories that were best left in the past. Staring at the blank wall of Galina's hotel room, she sighs."There isn't much worth telling."
"You're talking shit." Galina snaps, blunt as ever, her eyebrows raising as she remains unimpressed. Sick or not, the girl was still capable of being stupid and Galina wasn't afraid to let her know it. "Maybe I'll just ask someone else," she teases.
Nicky's own eyebrows raise and she shrugs. "Go for it," she scoffs. "Who would you even ask?"
Red smooths out the creases in the bedspread as she sits down net to Nicky on the bed. "I don't know," she laughs, "I barely keep up with my own friends, let alone yours...what about Lorna?"
Nicky smiles, resting her cheek on her hand. Her expression is tainted by the tears brimming her eyes. She didn't cry often, but the painkillers still made her feel vulnerable and Galina sitting in front of her still felt surreal. "I'm not sure Lorna would want to see me," she says sadly, but brushing off any real emotion. "I think she gave up on me a long time ago." Nicky sighs, looking off out of the window. "I think everyone did."
Galina doesn't know what to say. The thought of everyone - the thought of anyone - giving up so easily on a twenty year old made her feel sick with guilt. It would have never happened if she had grown a fucking backbone and stayed with her like she always promised she would. It was years too late when she had finally managed to pluck up the courage to do it and now Nicky was broken and isolated. It broke her heart.
Nicky chews at her fingernails, the wrinkle on her forehead deepening. She shrugs and rips a hangnail from her thumb with her teeth, not looking Galina in the eye because if she didn't feel anything as she said it, it meant she didn't care. "It's okay," she says, nodding absently. "I think I would have too."
Galina still feels floored by her statement and runs her fingers along Nicky's chin. "You're tired." She reaches across to the top of the comforter that sat on top of the bed and pulls it down, gently pushing Nicky down so she curls up under the blanket. "Sleep for a little while," she says before Nicky protests, "I'll wake you up later. You won't miss anything exciting, I promise. And it's good for you. You need the rest - that's what the doctors were saying." She untangles Nicky's hair and strokes her forehead. After a few minutes it is clear to see that Nicky is willing to give in to her obvious exhaustion. Watching her so serene in sleep, and so utterly open to anything, Red wonders why Marka hadn't insisted on picking her daughter up from the hospital. She would never understand the woman.
After being satisfied that Nicky was asleep, and her breathing had slowed to a relaxed, zen state, Galina pulls Nicky's purse from her hospital bag. Guilt gnawed at her, but she pushed it aside. It would do Nicky good to see a familiar face...she held the phone in her hands and agonized for a few moments. Would it completely jeopardize Galina's valiant efforts to get Nicky to trust her again? She didn't know, but scrolled through the phone aimlessly, not knowing which button did what and jumping when it beeped.
Instead of a hello, Lorna answers her ringing phone with a small giggle. She just couldn't help it; Vince was just so funny. "Nicky?" Lorna says after a moment of Galina saying nothing. Her tone transforms from giddy to worried. "You haven't called in months...Happy birthday," she says lamely, "I'm sorry I didn't call, I-"
Galina rolls her eyes and cuts Lorna off. "It's not Nicky."
It takes Lorna a moment but there's no forgetting that accent, and she squeals. "Red! You're back...hang on, why are you usin' Nicky's phone? She alright?" t's clear that Lorna's imagination is running away with her and the panic seeps into her voice.
"Nicky will be fine," Galina says ominously. "I'm looking after her." She hesitates for a moment before forcing herself to continue. "Why don't you come over? Wish her a happy birthday in person."
"I don't know, I'm pretty busy..." Lorna says, and Galina hears a male voice in the background laughing with her. Her temper flares but she takes a deep breath.
"She's your best friend," Galina says desperately. "And she needs you."
"She doesn't need me." Lorna says forcefully. Bitterness taints her tone and she exhales loudly. "She made that very clear. Besides, she's small but she can hold her own. She's strong. Always telling people."
"Not when she's just had heart surgery she's not!" Red finally snaps.
"W-what?" Lorna stutters. She steadies herself on her table and clutches the phone tightly, all thoughts of Vince out of her head. "Is she...okay? What happened? Can I see her?"
"You can ask her all of those things yourself when you come. But I don't want any I told you so's or I knew this would happen okay? None of that shit. She doesn't need to be upset like that."
"I know," Lorna says quietly, guilt eating away at her due to her selfishness. Nicky could have died. "Tell me the address and I'll be right over."
Half an hour later, and with Red having paced a line into the hotel carpet, there was a long-awaited knock on the door. Nicky, stirring by this point, gives Red a pointed but confused look.
Red ignores her and eagerly opens the front door. Lorna gives her an unsure smile as she waits to come in. "You made the right choice," Red says quietly, nodding proudly as she steps aside to let Lorna inside. Nicky's interest is well and truly piqued and she squints at the front door to see who Galina is blocking.
A familiar face gives Nicky a bright but apologetic smile. Nicky can't quite believe her eyes as Galina leads Lorna through to where Nicky sits up in bed. "Lorna?" Nicky asks in confusion.
"Nicky!" Lorna breathes. She instantly bypasses Galina to grasp Nicky's hands, which shake as she nervously takes in the girl she longed to see for weeks now. "I'm sorry I didn't call," she says quickly, and her hands become entangled in Nicky's hair like an addiction she can't break, "I hope you had a happy birthday..." Her eyes trail down to Nicky's scar, which was on show in her lacy pajama top. Her throat catches and she almost can't believe it; how close Nicky had come to not being on this Earth anymore...she couldn't bear the thought.
Nicky chuckles softly, and glances up at Red and back down to Lorna. Her hands entwine with Lorna's and she doesn't even notice the silver band that encompasses her ring finger. It's like old times again as Nicky places her head on Lorna's lap. "Looks like we've got a lot to talk about."
A/N:
I hope you enjoy this. Please leave me a review telling me what you think and what you want to see in the next chapter.
Happy new year!
xo