Chapter 24: Running out of time

Morgana rode as fast as she could in the hope of getting to Camelot before either Arthur or Merlin did. Her goal was simple: kill Morgause. Without her, the dragonlord LeNoir would be lost and confused. Leaderless, the rest of the thugs and mercenaries would pillage and then leave. Merlin will have a clear path to confront LeNoir without Morgause to interfere. And hopefully Arthur would take back the city without too much casualties.

Truly, she had kept the most difficult task to herself, and the less rewarding. She could have stayed with Arthur and fought by his side. Death on the battlefield did not frighten her. She had faced death before. But she did not crave such glory, not anymore. The path she had chosen was less selfish, and lonelier. If she succeeded, there would be no parade, no honour. What glory was there in cold-blooded murder?

But it didn't matter. She was doing it for Merlin, and nothing was more important. He was everything good in the world. She had seen the other side and it was dark and frightening. Her hands had blood on them. Merlin hadn't been tinted yet. He was the light to her darkness, and she was determined to keep it that way. Such would be her sacrifice.

As for her soul, the vision of her children gave her hope, maybe not for her salvation, but for a bit of happiness. This thought alone was enough to give her courage and speed.

By the beginning of the afternoon, dark and rainy clouds were filling the sky and she chose to wheel her horse on a more treacherous path. If the road wasn't too muddy, she would gain a few hours just by following the ravines through the Valley of the Fallen Kings. She would have preferred drier weather, but those were powers beyond her knowledge.

By the time she realised that she had made the wrong choice, it was too late to turn back. The path was even muddier than what she had expected, probably from the rain of the previous night. Her horse soon began to protest at every step. All that she could do now was to continue on foot. She sent the horse away, and regretted it almost straight away. The absence of sunlight made the woods creepier than she remembered them. And this was, after all, a cursed valley.

She began to listen intently for any sound out of the ordinary, suddenly aware of how helpless she was; a woman alone, ankle-deep in mud, wearing a noble's dress but with no guards or escort. It wasn't her first time in dark woods all on her own, but somehow this was different. Before, she had been in control. Now she felt like the prey, instead of the hunter. Her only weapon was magic, but all the spells that she knew were about chaos and destruction. Those were not her domain anymore. Yet how else could she defend herself against an attacker or a wild animal? Now what was that word that Merlin used when he needed a bit of light?

Holding out her hand, she whispered, "Leoth!" A tiny spark of light appeared in her hand.

Suddenly there was scurrying all around her, as though her spell had set off an alarm. And by the sound of metal, broken branches and tramping feet, these were not small creatures of the wood.

"Who goes there?" she cried out, holding out her light. "I mean you no harm! I merely need to use this path. I have urgent business in Camelot. You must let me pass!"

In the pale light, she could see many outlines coming closer. They were everywhere around her. Her boots were stuck in the mud. She was trapped.

"I have magic and I will use it!" she cried out.

The spark of light that she was holding suddenly became a ball of hot flames. She could feel of wave of magic rising inside her chest, threatening to burst out and consume everything around her. Using all her will, she closed her hand on the flames. It was hurting her to contain all of that darkness, but with a few calming breaths, she managed it.

When she opened her eyes again, it was to stare in the face of a strongly built, white-haired man with a fierce look in his eyes. He was so close that she could feel his breath on her forehead.

"Your witch's ways don't scare me. Grab her!"

The attack came from both sides; two other men that she had not seen. They whipped ropes around her. Very quickly, they tied her hands and placed a scarf over her mouth. They worked with knight-like efficiency, but they were only dressed like farmers.

"Who do you reckon she is, Kay?" asked one of her captors.

"Don't know. But a witch alone out here ought to have a purpose, don't she?"

"She most certainly does."

The voice made her heart sink.

A flash of a red cloak. Unruly brown hair. A careworn expression. Sir Leon.

Their eyes met briefly, but there was no sympathy in them, only cold determination.

"I'll take her," said the knight.

He grabbed the ropes and wheeled her ahead of him.

"Take her whatever you like," replied the man called Kay. "But Pendragon ought to know that a witch can play with his mind. He might be better off letting that sorcerer-friend of his handle her."

"I'll make sure to inform him," said Leon bluntly.

Morgana felt being pushed in the back. There was nothing she could do but to follow. To use her magic, unsteady as it was, might put Sir Leon's life in danger. What would Merlin think of her then?

"Come on, my Lady," Leon rushed her. "We don't want to keep King Arthur waiting. In his presence, I hope you will remember to bow!"

She trudged on as fast as she could. Arthur could not be here already, that much she knew. So it meant that she was being taken to whoever was in charge now. If she was lucky, they would just put her in a cave and she would be able to escape. But knowing how much pain she had caused in Camelot, her fate was likely to be much worst.

More red capes filled her sight as they approached an old ruin. It was the remains of an old castle, a place that she had visited with Uther on one of their outings. They were but a half-day's ride to Camelot.

Sir Leon's thrust her against a wall, face against the dirt.

"Keep her here!" she heard him yelling. "Don't let her talk! Don't let her move!"

For a short while, all that she could hear was her own panicked breathing and the sound of metal clanking on rocks.

"Hello, Morgana."

Now her panic was turning into dread. She knew that voice. Gwen.

Slowly, she turned around against the wall of rocks. The woman with whom she became face to face was very different from the one that she remembered. Gwen had been a quiet and humble servant; the woman before her now was a queen.

"I always knew that you would return," said Guinevere.

"Please," Morgana began to say. She could not talk with the cloth in her mouth, but she tried to say as much as she could with her eyes. I'm sorry. I want to help you. Please let me go.

Gwen gestured to one of the guards. There was a moment of hesitation, but then she said, "I'll be all right," and the guard removed the scarf from Morgana's face.

But now that she was free to speak, Morgana found no words at all. What could she say? Who in Camelot had more reasons to hate her than Gwen?

Finally, she lowered her eyes and muttered a feeble, "My Lady."

"Yes, I am," said Gwen. There was such a sense of nobility about her that Morgana could do nothing but stare.

"The knights here are sworn to protect me," Gwen continued solemnly. "If you attempt anything against me, they will kill you."

"I know," Morgana replied quickly. "And I do not wish to harm you. "What I can tell you is that Arthur is coming."

Gwen's face seemed to brighten, though she tried to hide it.

"How would you know?"

"It's not easy to explain. He's leading an army. King Lot's men. Two thousand, a least."

Gwen was pacing from one wall to the other. Her forest-green velvet dress was making a swishing noise with every step.

"And Merlin?" she asked.

Morgana tried not to sound too worried, and tried not to blush.

"He's coming on a different road. He'll be alone. If he returns at all. He went to the Otherworld to find the power to defeat the other dragonlord."

To enunciate Merlin's goal so clearly seemed to make it more real and she could not help but to close her eyes momentarily and shiver.

"Give me one good reason to believe anything you say," said Gwen between gritted teeth.

"For years now I…" She stopped, no longer sure that a declaration of love would be enough to convince anyone. "I lost my memory. I didn't know who I was and what I had done and during that time I changed."

Gwen took a few seconds to consider the idea.

"And now?" she asked.

"Now I remember," Morgana confessed. "But I'm not the same person that I was."

"I can't see what could have triggered such a deep change," Gwen said bitterly.

"Merlin."

Morgana bit her lip, aware that her voice had only been a whisper. In front of her was one of the few people who knew how a person could change for love. Arthur had changed the rules for Gwen. He had challenged the court and the traditions so cherished by his father, not to mention the laws of the kingdom. And Guinevere had changed too, taking up a position that she had not been brought up for. It had to be completely frightening for her. Yet there she was, protecting her kingdom in the place of the man she loved.

Guinevere was eyeing her suspiciously. "What did you say?"

Morgana drew in a deep breath. "Neither Arthur nor Merlin will succeed if I don't fulfill my part of the plan. You must let me go. I have to kill Morgause."

Gwen had stepped closer. She was now peering intensely into her eyes.

"You would kill her?"

"For Merlin, yes."

"Merlin?" Gwen breathed out.

"It's my task," Morgana insisted. "I can't let him do this. It's not in his nature. My soul is not the same. It cannot be saved."

"Are you trying to save your soul, Morgana?" Gwen said slyly. "Or Merlin's?"

Morgana could feel the magic threatening to burst out of her again.

"I'd die for him!" she cried out.

The walls around both women gave a violent shudder. Sir Leon appeared round the corner, but Gwen waved him away. She did the same for the guards who had come closer.

"You know," Gwen began to say in a low voice, "When Merlin arrived in Camelot, I immediately thought that he would be good for you. He has such a good nature. I used to think that if he could make you laugh at yourself, you would be a better person. I just hope I'm right."

And with that last comment, she took out a small dagger from her belt and cut the bonds that were holding Morgana's hands.

Morgana was so stunned that she could hardly move.

"You had best hurry. They will not be happy that I let you go."

The glance that they exchanged next filled Morgana's heart with more gratefulness than she could take. She could feel pounding in her chest, but it wasn't an outburst of magic. It was just immense relief.

"I will not forget this," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Gwen. So sorry."

"Don't make me wrong about this," said Guinevere.

Then she extended her hand to show an opening in the wall.

Without any further words, Morgana rushed forward. She did not dare look back, in case she would see red capes following her. But Gwen, it seemed, had been true to her word, which did not really come as a surprise.

As she ran, the thought that hit Morgana more deeply was the fact that she had been surrounded all of her life by good people. Arthur. Gwen. Merlin. Even Sir Leon on a better day. How could she have missed it? How could she have been so blind?

And then she had met Morgause and everything had changed. What had once been a blessing had turned out to be her greatest pain.

And at that moment she knew what her tears were. All of her life she had cried without really knowing why.

Her tears were tiny drops of time wasted. Time spent without love. Time without Merlin.

…

Author's note:

I'm trying to update faster, I promise.

To all of those who read, thanks.

To all of those who read AND review, I LOVE YOU! THANKS A LOT!