Ch. 25 Unexpected
For the first time since the death of her mother Olivia knew she would not spend Christmas alone.
Last year she had spent Christmas with Walker, but even then she felt uncertain about her "plans" until they discussed it.
This year she knew where she would be, who she would be with.
Olivia never thought her biggest issue for the holiday would be not having enough room for everyone.
Olivia's apartment that had become Elliot and Olivia's apartment was fine for them, but an apartment stuffed with five kids would be a bit tight to say the least.
It wasn't a terrible problem to have.
"We need to get a tree." Elliot said looking around the room as if he were searching for the perfect spot.
"Um yeah, I guess we do" Olivia said agreeing.
"Do you have ornaments or should we buy new ones?" He asked lost in thought.
Elliot noticed when she didn't answer immediately.
She looked at him feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Oh, no ornaments?" Elliot said catching himself.
It was the little things...
"You've never had a Christmas tree?" He asked reluctantly.
"I've had a Christmas tree before El… just not in my adult life."
Elliot looked at her as if he were devastated.
"It's ok, I just never needed one."
It was these moments, these conversations where he wanted to say, "yes Olivia you did need a Christmas tree. You deserved to have a tree and a family to celebrate the holiday with".
Instead, he said nothing.
"Well..." Elliot said raising his voice in encouragement, "you need one now. Cause kids expect Christmas trees no matter how old they are."
Olivia gave him a soft grin.
"You ok with that? I mean we're going to have to get a tree, decorate it, take it down, and do all this holiday crap year after year?"
"Yeah, I think I'm ok with that." She said her grin now wide.
She was ok with that.
It represented all she ever wanted.
Elliot pulled her close, kissing her against the temple of her head.
"Oh I have to show you the sweater I bought Maureen!" She said slipping from his arms.
Elliot let her go watching her sudden excitement as Olivia pulled out the shopping bag from the hall closet.
Olivia returned, holding up a navy cashmere sweater to Elliot.
"I love it! You don't love it?" She said suddenly disappointed at the look on his face.
"No, no it's a really nice sweater it's just you got her a cashmere sweater?"
"Elliot, Maureen is an adult, she has a good job. She needs nice clothes... I thought she would love it." She said justifying the gift.
Elliot smiled and then shook his head. "Good thing they have you. I'm obviously clueless."
"No, women just pay more attention! I think she will love it." Olivia said as she folded the sweater and put it back in to the bag.
"Liv she will definitely love it."
He was pleased that she cared so much for his children. He was pleased his children loved her.
Olivia stashed the bag back in the hallway closet and Elliot disappeared in to the bedroom.
"El? Where did you go?"
"Come here for a sec." He called from the bedroom.
Olivia made her way to where Elliot was sitting on the bed.
"What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously.
"I wanted to give you something."
"Ok." she said standing in front of him, still suspicious of why he suddenly was acting so odd.
"Actually I wanted to give you something before you saw the kids because well Elizabeth can't keep her mouth shut and it would ruin the gift and then she and Dickie would fight... you get where I'm going with this."
Olivia laughed.
"Ok."
Elliot stood up pulling a little red box with a white bow tied around it from behind his back.
"What is it?"
Elliot grinned.
"Open it."
"El?" She said nervously.
"Liv, just open it." He said amused.
Olivia pulled the ribbon from the box and gently lifted the top to the treasure she would find.
She had stopped breathing.
"Liv?" Elliot questioned.
He wasn't sure if he would have to catch her or run after her.
"Do you like it?"
She wasn't sure if she had taken a breath yet.
"It's, it's stunning." She said starring down at the oval cut diamond ring.
Elliot grinned as he pulled her towards him.
"It was my mothers."
"El" was all she said again, as she had yet to take her eyes from the ring.
"I went to see my mother about a month ago. I told her about us. You know she loved you from the moment she met you… I guess I just really wanted to tell her I had gotten it together. That I had finally stopped hesitating and I finally told you how much I love you."
Olivia swallowed hard, listening intently.
"She told me she was glad I stopped being a fool, and that she was glad I finally made a decision with my heart instead of my hard head. She pulled this ring off of her finger and said I would know what to do with it."
Olivia gave Elliot a quick, nervous smile.
"I only carried it around in my pocket long enough to take it to the jewelry store to get it sized for you. I knew exactly what to do with it."
Elliot squeezed Olivia's hand assuring her that he was certain of what he was doing.
"I don't want this to be too much for you, too soon. But this ring belongs to you Olivia. And you can wear it or you can put it away, but it belongs to you, if only to remind you that I love you and always will."
Elliot watched her chest rise and fall, her hands tremble beneath his.
He studied the look on her face and then took the box from her hand.
"You can put it away if you'd like, if it's too soon" he reminded.
Olivia bit at her bottom lip.
"So, so the kids, they know that you're giving this to me? You said Elizabeth…"
"They know."
"They're ok with this? I mean I don't want to…"
"They love you Olivia." He reassured her.
"You wanna give this to me? I mean it belongs to your mother and…"
"My mother wants you to have it. I want to give it to you. This ring belongs to no one else but you."
Tears fell to her cheeks. She was too overcome with emotion to stop them.
Elliot lifted the ring from the box.
Elliot held it out to her and her trembling fingers reached for the white gold band.
She held it in the palm of her hand for a moment then closed her fingers around it as if she were making sure it was tangible and real.
Elliot sat back down on the bed still watching her, but giving her space.
He knew he would always have to give her space.
She had her own timing.
She didn't say anything.
He wasn't sure what was going through her head.
But the ring belonged to her.
She could do what she wished whether it be what he hoped for or not.
She had her own timing.
Olivia slowly sat down beside Elliot on the bed, so close her thigh melded in to his.
She sat there beside him for a moment, still in silence.
He just sat there beside her.
"El?"
Elliot turned to look at her.
He hated he was waiting for the worst. Waiting for her to tell him it was too much, too soon and that she appreciated the sentiment but she didn't want the ring. At least not right now.
The worst.
"You know I never thought about what kind of ring I would want… I mean it just never mattered I guess. And this ring, it's really beautiful."
Here is where she gives it back.
Where she can't accept it.
"I also never really thought about how I wanted to be proposed to. You know how some women know? How they plan it all out in their head?"
Elliot let out a breathy laugh. He understood.
Some women did.
"I never thought about any of that."
She didn't.
"Liv that's ok."
She shook her head, understanding it was.
"I just never thought it would be like this."
"Like this?" Elliot questioned suddenly wishing maybe he should have gone about this another way.
God, he's scared her.
He watched her swallow hard and then he watched as her back straightened as if she had lifted the weight of the world.
Suddenly Olivia stood up she walked to the other side of the bedroom and then back to him.
She was pacing.
He let her go back and forth a few times as she gripped the ring tightly in the palm of her hand.
"Liv?"
She stopped with the sound of her name, looking at Elliot.
She wiped the tears from her face, composing herself.
Elliot wanted her to just say what she needed to say.
"I think we should get married," she blurted.
The words fell from her lips.
Elliot's eyes widened.
"Olivia Benson, are you asking me to marry you?" He said with a grin, even teasing her.
"Doesn't it make sense? I mean us, together... we both want this forever thing so we should just get married."
She was talking it through.
She didn't need to convince Elliot.
"That's kind of what I was going for with the whole ring thing. I just thought..."
"You just thought that it would scare the shit out of me?"
"I didn't want to scare the shit out of you." He said amused.
"Sure it scares me, but I think I've protested enough. I know what I want. I want you."
"You wanna be my wife?" he said grinning.
"I wanna be your wife," she said as her face lit up.
"So you're not getting down on one knee to ask me?" Elliot joked.
"Don't push your luck!"
Elliot grabbed Olivia pulling her back towards him.
"And we're not doing any of that traditional wedding stuff... except for the ring." She stated matter of fact.
"So you will wear the ring?" Elliot teased.
Olivia held out her hand holding the ring that had been piercing her palm, she had been holding it so tight.
Elliot took the ring from her.
He reached for Olivia's hand.
"I know you don't want all the traditional stuff, but I would like to do this properly." Elliot said as dropped down on one knee.
"Olivia you became my partner, you became my best friend, and then you became the woman I couldn't live without by my side. Liv, putting this ring on your finger means that I will always be by your side; it means that you will never be alone; it means that there will always be at least one person that loves you more than anyone else." Elliot leaned in kissing her bare ring finger. "Olivia will you be my wife? Will you marry me?"
Olivia was shaking her head yes before the words could form on her lips.
"Yes, yes I'll marry you."
Elliot slid the ring on her finger and it sparkled against her olive skin.
He stood and Olivia pressed her palms against his cheeks, instantly pulling him in to a kiss.
"I love you." She said kissing him again as she looked in to his eyes. "I never expected any of this, that I would get everything I've wanted for so long."
Elliot kissed her once again.
"Well you haven't gotten everything yet, but we'll work on that." He said backing her on to the bed.
The End.