The sun was dimming and the clouds had an orangey tinge. The sky was a blaze as we floated along in the middle of the ocean. I was standing at the peak of the ships front watching the waves crash against the boat and feeling the salty water in the mist spray my arms. It was a warm evening and the way my dress fluttered around my ankles made me feel like a Princess. I was enjoying the view well listening to the talkative voices behind me, the tapping of a dancers foot, the clinking glasses of what waiters carried. The wedding tonight made it simply even more amazing. I couldn't imagine what it was like to spend money to get married in the middle of the ocean but they did and that was all the more sweet. I looked out at the shimmers off each wave tips as they rose only to slam down again. A voice in my head was daring me to jump, like they were calling my name down below the waters surface. I would have gone but only if that hand hadn't grasped my arm in a flurry of people.

"It's lovely isn't it? The way the water looks in the colours of the sky. They compliment each other so well." As a bride compliments the groom, I though silently to myself. Only nodding to give the man beside me acknowledgement. He continued to speak of the ocean and when he realized I was not one to converse with he bid me a farewell. I laughed at the thought of him trying to get me to speak but he couldn't. I didn't feel like I should in the ocean, it was the one place where I felt uneasy and twisted. Not because of the movements but the thoughts of who was swimming underneath us all.

"Annabeth come on, everyone's dancing and having the most wonderful time, as my maid-of-honour you should too!" I turned to look into the eyes of the bride. She was stunning in her mermaid styled gown all a clean smooth white, her hair pulled neatly into short tight curls surrounding her fresh face. Standing next to her made me feel more beautiful, it was like it was just pouring out of her. She gripped my hands tightly and pulled me into the circle. I towered over my petit newly wed friend but next to her husband I felt perfectly naturally tall. I put on my smile and danced around feeling the wind cool me off as not to ruin my dress with sweat. Wet marks would show up on this light blue dress. Yes she had us all in different shades of blue or green to match the oceans array of colour. I wore light blue and everyone next to me down the line wore a darker shade.

I snuck out of the dance circle to go sit on the benches beside the waters. As soon as I looked out amongst the crowd a slower romantic song came on allowing couples married or not to join in and dance. Everyone seems so happy.. I thought to myself. I was happy, once. When he had been around but then he just left. I never got over it and each day I replay it in my head. No matter what I do, wash the pillowcase, wash the sheets, and scrub the house with cleaning detergent. His scent lingers bringing me to those thoughts I had tucked away in my mind. He wasn't a thought I brought up but when I did I liked to think it wasn't me he had run from, but he had just disappeared. Like I had woken up from a very long sleep and he was just in my dreams.

"Annabeth. You need to get on in life, you can't linger on it and I know being out here on the ocean isn't helping but let him go. It was almost five years ago and life won't get any better if you don't let it." I closed my eyes. I never liked to think of it that way. I would rather he left me because he didn't love me then left because he had no choice. Left because I couldn't help him. Left because I had needed to be saved and he had to get killed doing it! It hurt to think that I had done this. We were in the second biggest battle of our lives that night. The titans had escaped the confinements and Percy of course took like a leader in it all. He pounced at that chance and when I threw on my knife I never expected an outcome like that. We were engaged, he had proposed the month before and we planned on getting married in June. On a beach. Next to the ocean. He was thrilled and I knew in the next six months planning this wedding I would never have the smile leave my face. But when he fell into my arms, his blood on my shirt, it dispersed. Never again has it truly shown again. Only my fake smiles.

"Annabeth come on." Thalia tugged at my arm but I only smiled with my watery grey eyes and patted her hand. She sighed and released me to do as I so pleased. It wasn't like I wasn't having fun. The wedding ceremony was gorgeous, the people were mesmerizing and the whole thought of this love coming together made you want to cry. It was beautiful but no matter how much I tried to be happy for our friends, how I pleaded with Athena to give me the strength to move on, I couldn't yet muster up that courage. There was something lingering on me holding me a step behind. Like I was on the edge of water in the desert begging for it but a barrier was blocking me. I couldn't move at all. I stood up and scurried my way through the crowd of laughter and talkative guests. I came to the other end of the boat where only the help seemed to be taking breaks. I came to the edge of the boats end and leaned over the rails closing my eyes. I felt like I was stuck and couldn't get out. I felt like I needed to breath a new fresh air for once.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" I peered over at the young man who had tapped my shoulder. He had one eyebrow up and the other scrunched down. I chuckled remembering how Percy used to do that. The man just smiled and asked me the same question hoping an answer would leave my lips this time.

"Oh I'm perfectly fine." I gave another smile and nodded letting him know I ''was not'' lying.

"I am not stupid miss. I have a keen sense for liars and you have it written across your fake little smile. This wedding should be happy right?" I was flabbergasted. All my friends were on this boat and not one of them knew I was plastering a fake smile across my face but I come upon a complete stranger and he knows exactly that I'm hiding. He winked at then leaned on the rail waiting for me to give him a truthful answer.

"Okay so I am not alright but by standing here I am not bringing everyone else down with me now am I?" I stuck my head a little higher with my keen response but when he chuckled and shook his head I dropped mine a notch or two.

"But by standing here your causing a fuss. Stop feeling sorry for whatever happened to you and move on. Go live your life like you should be, you probably about 26 am I right?" I laughed and nodded but I could tell by his eyes he could see the glassy watery reflection in mine. He pulled me down on the cushioned seats and waved his hand. I suppose this was a welcoming for letting me explain my story. Suddenly I felt like I could trust him, like he would be there to help unlike the rest of my friends who had tried and failed. They had hoped I would get better but seeing on reaction in their words they gave up hope. They anchored their help ship and left me to tread until I drowned or swam over.

"Five years ago I lost my fiancé. Some man tried to kill me but he slipped in front and took it through his lower back. I saw the lights leave his eyes and I saw the way his smile faded from his face. Unless you have seen that you can never understand the nightmares you get after it. When you love someone and they die in your arms because of you it will never be the same. You will never be whole again, never see things the same and never know anything the same. Life gets harder every breath you take because your breathing and the one you love isn't. I cried until my eyes were so red I could barley see, I laid in bed until half my body was numb and I hated myself for years. I still do and I will always."

He stared at me not with pity, not with stricken grief or disgust but with a wonder. He looked at me not like an angel or a saint but like I was just a sight to see. A mysterious wonder you travel on a 17-hour plane ride to visit. He then turned and looked straight ahead for nearly 10 minutes before he spoke to me.

"I'm surprised," I looked at him funny and he continued, "I mean like that you're still standing here today. I would have just gone suicidal but your hear. At a wedding too! You're celebrating love and joy when you lost all of yours in one instant. You feel so empty but yet you act as if you have so much passion. You seem to have me at a loss for words." I though about his words and then he choose to continue.

"I am 25 and have never felt such a love, such a joy and such a happiness I could see in your eyes when you talked about him. I have never felt pain like that of death or of sorrow or grief but you at only a year older then me have experienced the highest I could dream of. You shouldn't hate yourself or even give yourself blame because obviously if he died for you, he loved you as much as you loved him." I turned to this man sitting beside me and saw a sparkle in his eye from feeling the passion and finesse he said I had. I couldn't help but admire his words on the love Percy had for me.

"Annabeth? Come on their doing toasts now and your up in two!" Thalia came running over and gripped my hand to pull me away. I turned back to him and whispered a thank you. She dragged me to the podium as the last one ended and threw me on up. I looked out into the sea of faces I knew and sea of faces so new to me. I turned towards the bride and the groom and smiled. I looked out into the crowd again and saw the waiter. He winked and then began handing out champagne. I took a breath and began my toast.

"When I was eleven years old I met my best friend, he was annoying and spectacular all in one. He taught me how to be brave and how to use my intelligence to help. When I was sixteen he became my first boyfriend and I knew I would love him no matter what. I felt like we would always be together and when I was 21 he proposed to me. I couldn't even muster up the word yes I was so happy. Then a month later I could never see him again. Now most people tell me we had such a passion in love. They say when we looked at each other a fire sparked in the others eyes just from a glimpse of the face. I never understood how that simple look or smile or touch could spring my heart up so quickly and so fiercely. But then I saw this lovely couple right here and I knew how everyone saw me. When I look at them I can just feel the love, the beauty and the most wonderful feelings. They are two of the so many people who have tried to pull me through this hard time and by them showing me love can come in so many forms well, I can't even start with the thank you. They brought out that side of me that I thought had left when my heart broke, their love is making me feel like I can put all those pieces back together again."

I stared out into he crowd and saw the suns dim rays hit each glinting tear falling down cheeks. I saw the bride lean into her husbands shoulder splotching it with little wet dots. I felt my face get hot and wet tears drop onto my hands. Now I only had one more thing to say to them tonight.

"Love, the four-letter word that still makes me shudder but it also makes me think of how great life with love can be. This wedding tonight, this ceremony and these people have all brought something new to me. They showed me that love isn't just between two people, love isn't about focusing on the negatives, and love is about living life fully and with a shining passion. You two are one of the most beautiful couples and I can only thank you for what you have done for me and shown us all. Thank you and congratulations on finding your love."

I walked off the stage that night with a feeling like Percy had been watching me, like he had be smiling at how I was starting to rebuild my life. Now that I was breaking down that barrier bit by bit I knew I could get through this life and that he would always love me. Even if I married another, even if I never married, he would still be standing here smiling on my achievements.

After all I, Annabeth Chase, was never a quitter.