Pride cometh before the fall so they say. As many of you so correctly pointed out, Morgana isn't quite dead in S2.10 and Morgause actually does lift the curse on Camelot, therefore nullifying my "Merlin's already been her doom" theory. Sad as it would've made the destiny part much easier to do. My only excuse for such an oversight is that when Merlin and Morgana are in any room together, I forget that anyone else exists as I try to put them into erotic positions. And I still maintain that the "he is your destiny" signifies something because it comes first. Such a peculiar phrase too-"he is your destiny and he is your doom", not "he is your destiny and your doom" or "he is your doom and your destiny", but two distinct phrases put together. Although maybe the Caliech undead have a strange syntax. Anyways, enjoy this chapter! Last one before decision time.

Chapter 25

It had been five weeks since he'd last seen her. He stood behind Arthur in the Council Chambers, half listening to the sonorous drones of the boring weekly meeting. Even Gaius, seated near the center of the long table, looked tired by the proceedings.

He was distracted more than usual lately. While he tried to put on a good show for Arthur so as to avoid more uncomfortable questions about his time as Orsric's guest, he could barely make himself concentrate.

Would she be there? Since his conversation last week with Kilgarrah, more and more he found himself dwelling on the hope that she would. True love from true hate, the most powerful magic in the world…a Golden Age that would not end…all these thoughts swirled around in his mind, all the possibilities of a world they would create.

But it was more than that. He needed her. Like air in his lungs. Like blood in his veins. Like magic, he needed her like he needed magic. She was more than a lover, a friend, a counterpoint to him. Loving her was a part of him now, part of his identity. No matter what she chose, he knew he wouldn't stop loving her. It was just wasn't possible. Not after everything that they'd shared.

Those few days in Orsric's dungeon had proven that to him. He needed her love, craved it in the weeks since their departure.

He was terrified of what he would become without her. Their path towards devastation and destruction, the personal battle between the two of them…it would kill him as surely as it would kill her.

"Sire?" said Sir Leon, coming into the room.

"Yes?" said Arthur looking up.

"The scouts have returned from Orsric's lands with news," said Sir Leon.

"Send the scout in," said Arthur and all eyes turned towards the guard who walked in and stopped a few feet from the table.

"What news?" asked Arthur.

"Sire, it appears that they're training an army. Their numbers have doubled in size," said the scout.

A moment of silence greeted that pronouncement, then Arthur sighed and began, "Well, we knew it was only a matter of time before he launched some type of attack. He clearly kidnapped Merlin last month to learn more information about our infrastructure. Thankfully Merlin's not as much of weakling as he looks, so now they're going with brute strength instead. Thank you, that will be all," nodding to the Scout.

"Sire, there's more," said the scout, shuffling his feet.

"More?" asked Arthur warily.

"Yes, sire. There is talk in Orsric's village that the Lady Morgana has engaged herself to Orsric," said the scout slowly.

"What?" shouted Arthur.

"What?" shouted Merlin at the exact same time, drawing every eye to him, including Arthur's.

Arthur narrowed his eyes and said, "Merlin, I'm in charge here."

"Right, sire," he said, trying to appear calm and contrite as he folded his hands behind his back. It wasn't easy when he was desperate for more information. Morgana? Engaged to Orsric?

Turning back to the scout, Arthur continued, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, sire. The gossips say that Orsric's promised Morgana Camelot as a wedding present, although there's no definite date set."

The vise on Merlin's chest loosened a little bit, although the news still stunned him. He knew that Orsric had proposed and he knew that Morgana had refused quite emphatically in the dungeons. But there had been no news of an engagement till today.

"We knew that Morgana was there, as Merlin told us. But her delusion that she has some hold on the crown adds a dangerous element to this situation. We'll have to ready ourselves for anything. Thank you, that will be all," he finished, dismissing the scout

The rest of the meeting went by in a blur. He was all at sea. Morgana couldn't be engaged. She wouldn't, would she? She had so vehemently opposed an alliance with Orsric and yet, she was still a guest at his castle. Why had she not left? Why were she and Morgause still willing companions at the castle? He was confused. Angry. And just a tiny bit uncertain. Ok, make that incredibly uncertain. The entire situation wasn't a dream, that was obvious. But were the emotions, the feelings, the love….was it all just a product of the situation like Morgana had originally said?

She'd once promised that she'd forget everything…that was before he'd admitted his magic, before they'd made love…but maybe she was holding true to that now.

No, that was impossible. She loved him. Or at least he thought she must. Although she'd never said as much. And in the weeks since his escape, he'd found the lack of her love words all the more hurtful. Even more so now.

He didn't want to doubt her. But this news had shocked him. What did this mean? Was this just misinformation? Or was she not going to be there next week? He didn't want to doubt her, that had got him into trouble too many times before, but how was he to respond to news of an engagement?

Blessedly, the meeting ended and he was about to hide himself away under the pretense of mucking the stables when Gaius caught up to him.

He looked worried, his wrinkled brow furrowing, "Merlin, is everything alright? You looked rather taken aback at the news about Morgana."

Merlin tried for a light-hearted reply. Despite his conversation with the Dragon and the increasingly difficult range of emotions he was feeling, he tried to keep the mask in place, even for Gaius. "Isn't everyone?" he said evasively.

Gaius raised his eyebrow, giving his trademark stare of disapproval and said, "Well, no one else out shouted Prince Arthur, so likely not as surprised as you."

"It just surprised me is all. I didn't expect to hear of such an alliance," he said truthfully.

"I hope you're not suffering under some delusion that Morgana will turn to the right side. I fear she's been lost to us for some time now. You never could save her, Merlin. No matter how hard you tried," said Gaius sighing.

But could Morgana save herself? his mind asked. There was truth in Gaius's words. Maybe he was right, he couldn't save her. But he'd given her a choice and a chance this last time. Had she already made those decisions? Another week of agony and a possible empty spot at the lake would tell him what he needed to know. He wouldn't give up hope yet.

Putting on a lighthearted smile, he said laughingly, "Don't worry, Gaius. I long ago learned those important lessons."

Then he fled to the solitude of his thoughts.

It wasn't over. It couldn't be. Not yet.

There were four people seated at the very head of the table. Arthur in the middle, Guinevere to his left, Morgana to his right, Merlin to her right. The Great Hall was splendidly decorated with gold and crimson banners. Ever one of the long tables in the hall was laden with food and jugs of wine. It was a feast, a lavish one.

Arthur stood up and the room fell silent, as he began, his voice mature and steady, "I don't have to tell any of you how important today is. Tonight we feast to celebrate the twenty years since the ban of magic was lifted from this kingdom. But our celebration tonight is more than that. Tonight we also memorialize those who lost their lives in the Great Purge and in the years afterwards. We remember those sorcerers, sorceresses, dragonlords, druids, and other magical people and creatures that lost their lives during such a sad time in Camelot's history. Twenty years ago freedom and tolerance came to be a part of our world again. These actions weren't done for show or for political agenda. These were laws we did this for our children, for our neighbors, and for every citizen of Camelot. Magic became legal because magic is natural, a gift even. The hatred and ignorance of the past has no place in a just society. And it will never again have a place in Camelot. So let us stand and raise our glasses to Camelot-to a kingdom that once knew a dark past and now has a bright future. To Camelot!"

There was a great sound of shuffling as ladies and gentleman, peasants and farmers, stood and shouted out, "To Camelot!" The cheer echoed around the room, the sound reverberating against the stone walls of the large room, filing it with sound.

"To Camelot," she whispered as tears formed in her eyes, an exuberant smile playing on her lips. It was hard to believe that it had been twenty years since such change had been enacted.

She leaned over and whispered in Merlin's ear, "You did this, sweetheart. This is the world that you created."

His smile was bright and beautiful, as he whispered back, "No, love, this is the world we created. Together. You and me, Arthur and Gwen. This is our Camelot."

She smiled in response, leaning closer to press her lips against his.

"For the love of God, could you two keep your hands off each other for at least the duration of my speech?" a voice echoed behind her.

Pulling apart, Merlin said cheekily as they reseated themselves, "I thought we did, sire. Or does King Prat have any more grand words to share with the assembly?"

Gwen giggled beside him as Arthur said, "Only that you two should get a room. Or at least spare everyone else the public displays of affection. It's rather gross to see my oldest friend practically making out with my sister at the dinner table."

"I second that, Uncle. Frankly, it's pretty disgusting," said the dark haired young man seated next to Merlin. Their oldest son, he was nearly twenty one, nearly of age.

"I agree as well. I came across them in the hallway the other day. Wanted to rip out my own eyes to avoid the damage done to them. So gross," said a young woman of eighteen. It was the same young woman from her other dream.

Total there were five raven-haired children in a line down that side of the table. Two twin boys and another young girl. And all five of them were hers and Merlin's.

She and Merlin were laughing as they quickly pressed their lips together to another loud chorus of groans.

She shot up from her slumped position on the chaise, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. Five children? Her eyes widened. Bloody hell.

"What is it, sister? What did you see?" Morgause asked from her position opposite Morgana. They had been sitting in one of the drawing rooms on the lower floors when she had fallen asleep.

"Did you see yourself as Queen of Camelot?" asked Morgause a little more insistently.

Morgana didn't want to lie, but she couldn't very well tell her sister that she was having wonderful dreams about a family with Arthur's manservant and about a Golden Age at Camelot. "Yes, I was at Camelot. It was a…er…celebration."

Morgause smiled like a cat in her cream and said, "Then it bodes well for your future. We'll move on Camelot next week and you'll have nothing left to ponder. Those visions will be a reality."

"So soon? I didn't think the army would be ready by then," Morgana said innocently.

"Have you forgotten? Next week is Arthur's birthday. The distraction will provide the perfect opportunity for insurrection and takeover."

"Oh yes…right. I had forgot," said Morgana unsteadily. The truth was she thought of nothing else. Arthur's birthday was the day she was to decide what her future would be.

She looked at her sister, really looked at her for probably the first time in months, maybe even years. The gleam in her eye, the bide for power through Morgana's position….it used to enliven her sister, used to make Morgana eager to please. Now her sister's face, it's harsh and ambitious tilt, made her look sad. There was no warmth left in her eyes, not even when she gazed at her only sibling. Anger, bitterness, the struggle had all taken its toll on Morgause.

And if she stayed, she would do that to herself. To Merlin too.

Her sister had lost her heart, her sense of humanity long ago. While Morgana knew her sister still loved her, that love was tempered by the struggle for Camelot's throne, tempered by what Morgana could do for her. If she turned against Morgause, her sister would never welcome her back, would never be able to forgive her.

And Arthur would? Maybe in the back of her mind, she knew he'd at least consider the possibility. It wouldn't be easy for a proud man like Arthur to forgive her many, many trangressions. (And it wouldn't be easy for her to admit her wrongs). At least she thought he might consider forgiveness. Although that was a big might.

What she feared the most wasn't death. It was an ornamental position at a man's side. A place that Uther had tried for years to carve out for her at Camelot. Never heard and never understood. A pretty doll meant to mind her duty and fulfill her place. She thought that as queen she would never have to be another man's puppet.

But looking across the short expanse that separated her from her sister was like looking into a distorted mirror of the future. Her dreams had been trying to tell her that for some time. Every time she saw her future self at Camelot, she looked happy. Content. Loved and loving, surrounded by people who she loved and people who she loved in return. Merlin. Their children. Arthur. Gwen.

In the darkness, in the dreams about destruction, about Merlin and her last battle, it was always hatred, always despair. She was never happy.

But what good was a kingdom without love? Who said she would even be able to hold it; she'd lost before with an immortal army. It was likely she'd lose without it. Merlin was right, fear was no way to rule a kingdom. She'd be no better than Uther or Orsric

For so long she'd known what she wanted: Camelot, the return of magic, and revenge on the people who had wronged her. Now her actions seemed wrong. Her presence in this castle with her sister somehow a further betrayal of the trust Merlin had placed in her. He loved her enough to trust her with his secret, to trust her with knowledge that could bring down Arthur's entire world. His faith in her was…humbling.

And she loved him. Because there was no other word to describe the swirling multitude of feelings inside her. She'd once hated him, hated every look on his face, every emotion his eyes showed her, the accusing glances he'd given her across the Great Hall, the fortuitous way he thwarted her plans. She'd hated what he represented-her past, her ignorance, her dependence.

But that had all changed in Orsric's dungeon. He had gone from enemy to friend, from friend to lover, from lover to her soul's mate. She couldn't hate anymore because of him; not when love, so wonderful and beautiful bloomed inside her. Tears stung her eyes as the revelation came over her like a clean rain after a drought. She loved Merlin. The words weren't frightening anymore. The emotions weren't terrifying. Love was a balm to her soul. It was her salvation.

But did she love him enough to give up her bide for power? Was she always destined to choose her ambitions over him? Was her own love tempered by her ambitions? Honesty was a virtue she'd long denied herself. Could that moment be now? Could honesty, could openness save them all? Was her love true enough, honest enough to fight the darkness?

True love was the some of the most powerful magic in the world. She'd heard it whispered among the druids and among other magic people as the breaker of all spells, the heart of all goodness, the very fabric of life itself. True love was an unbreakable force.

But true love required sacrifice. Sometimes that was big or small, but it required you to give up something that you once thought you wanted, that was once so important to you. Because the person you loved became bigger, more important than something from the past, something that once exclusively drove you. Her ambitions had been her only sustenance these last few years, but without love, without Merlin, they seemed hollow. Unfulfilling.

She'd rather die than hurt Merlin. She'd rather die than force him to hurt her. Was that not the true test of love? She loved him. She would always love him. And she couldn't choose a life of darkness, not when another, wonderful life was so humbly offered.

As the realization set in, there seemed only one solution-Chose Merlin. Chose life. Chose Camelot.

In the end, it was simple really. She was on the wrong side of this war. And this was her chance to turn back. Words, words that she said came back to her in that instant: "Sometimes you have to do what's right, damn the consequences." She'd said those words to Arthur, but they seemed particularly appropriate now. She was powerful, no doubt about that. But Merlin was right, just because you were capable of great power, didn't mean that you should always be the one to wield it. Responsibility, loyalty, those were values she wanted to have again.

She breathed a sigh of relief, although she didn't know why. She still had to escape Orsric's castle and there was definitely a battle to be had with Arthur. But for the first time since Merlin and she made love, she felt like she'd made the right decision. She wasn't meant for this life anymore; Merlin had taught her that.

"You've been rather distracted lately, sister," Morgause said, looking up from the book she was reading.

Her comment startled Morgana as she didn't think her sister was that observant."I've just been tired of late. Nothing out of the ordinary for someone recovering from my ordeal in the dungeons."

Morgause responded, "I suppose. Although I didn't think you were so weak as to let a few days in the dungeon exhaust you. We have a great battle ahead of us, there'll be little time for naps."

"I'm not weak, merely taxed by the whims of a small man," Morgana said.

"There'll be plenty of small men in your future. So you'd best learn to mind your tongue. Orsric doesn't take too kindly to your saucy retorts."

"I'm well aware," she said with a snort.

"It's a long trek, Morgana. Surely you can see that. You have to seize power and manipulate it wherever you can. You'd best be ready, because once we go to war with Arthur, there'll be no turning back. Not this time."

"I know," she said softly. She did know.

Merlin was her true love. Her soulmate. The world they could create at Camelot would be happy, wonderful, accepting. All of things she'd hoped to bring about with her own reign, but wasn't capable of doing on her own. She needed Merlin. And Arthur and Gwen.

Love was her religion. She'd die for it. And under Orsric's thumb and her sister's watch, not to mention Arthur's wrath, she just might.

FINIS

I paraphrased the "Love is her religion, she'd die for it" from my favorite poet and consumptive babe John Keats. You've probably stumbled across "Ode to a Grecian Urn" but my favorite poem is actually "The Eve of St. Agnes".

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for the delay, I finished my dissertation chapter and moved out of state in the past 2 weeks (hurray!). Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Please review!

P.S. When I set out to write this story, I didn't actually intend to use so many song titles or lyrics as chapter titles. However, the first time I heard Gotye's "Somebody that I Used to Know", all I could think about was Merlin and Morgana. It's particularly fitting for them, don't ya think? I haven't quoted them in this story, but I think I owe quite a bit of sexy and angsty bits to Halestorm and their self-titled album. Song after song seems to channel the naughty Mergana energy that we all love so much. If you're writing some fanfic, I would highly recommend the album as background music.