Hello everyone! A very big thank you to everyone keeping up with the story! Although I have not met you, I love you. I still have no idea how long this story will be but let's just see how this rides. I was worried about when this chapter would get out since I had to work so much recently. I actually didn't start working on it until today! Once again, thank you to readers, followers, favoriters, and especially reviewers! Anyway, no more delaying, let us begin!

Chapter 25

Black. Everything was black and dark. Empty.

Neri sunk down lower and lower into her subconscious. The pain she had felt was now a distant memory. The fire in her veins had subsided. The tightness of her throat: nonexistent. Whatever this was, at least it was peaceful. Perhaps she was dying. She had imagined her own death is so many ways, now that it was upon her; it was like nothing she thought it would be. It was serenity.

Nothing else mattered. She tried to think back on what had been happening just before everything went to black, but nothing came to mind. At least she could fade out without the fear of leaving something behind. Had she left something behind? Perhaps. Her mind didn't linger on it. Soon it would be over.

Soon.

She felt something poke at the far reaches of her mind. It was uncomfortable, but as quickly as it came on, it went away.

There it is again, she complained. She imagined her forehead pinching in annoyance at the thing that wouldn't let her sleep.

It prodded her, this time more forcefully.

Suddenly, it was all there again: the tightness in her throat, the fire in her veins. She could feel herself pushing upwards, her mind trying to fight off the blackness around her. It gripped her tighter, pulling at her body, trying to pull her ever downward. The scorching heat in her veins grew worse, she was convinced that she was on fire, she just had to be. Her throat felt raw, as if she had been inhaling glass slivers. Thousands of different pain signals went off in her body, everything firing at once. She tried to look down at her body, but found herself motionless, a vulnerable victim to the pain. Her body burning, her throat ripped to shreds, and the surroundings pressing in on her.

Why couldn't my death be peaceful? Is that too much to ask! Let it be over! Maybe this is hell.

But as all of the pain came back to her, so did her memories. She wanted to cry, but not from pain, from what she could lose.

If I do live through whatever hell this is, I will tell him.

Kharjo stared at the motionless form before him. There she was, quite possibly dying in front of him, and he never told her he loved her. Looking back, there were so many opportunities. So many chances he allowed to slip through his fingers. He was a fool.

The candles flickered and danced their light across the room, casting long shadows that fought to be known against the glow from the mages' hands. Kharjo studied the sight before him, two female mages standing on either side of the bed with their hands shining brightly from their magic. Another mage, a man named Savos, if he remembered correctly, stood at the foot of the bed his fingers slowly twining through his beard. J'zargo lounged in the corner, idly thumbing through a book, occasionally smirking over at Kharjo, who stood in the doorway.

It frustrated him beyond measure, having to remain outside the room; the closest he could get was to lean in the doorway. 'In the way' is what they had said. Sure, he had been clutching her hand and growled when someone had tried to remove him, even lashed out at J'zargo, roaring his fury and slamming him into the wall. But Kharjo had just been trying to protect her. He needed to stay with her. He needed to be there when she woke up.

"Mirabelle, Colette, you have done what you can," Savos said waving his hand in front of him and motioning to the door.

"What!" Kharjo demanded and rushed into the room. He glanced over Savos to see the women lower their hands, the light from their spells completely winked out. "What do you mean 'you have done what you can'? You cannot save her? You will just leave her to die?"

Savos looked at him with a bored gaze and waited for Mirabelle and Colette to leave the room. "Dovahkiin Neri needs time to rest. The poison took its toll on her and my college members have extended themselves quite a bit today. As I have said, they have done what they can. Neri is one of us; we want her to recover just as much as you do." The Dunmer kept his gaze on the Khajiit before him, his red eyes judging the state of the male. Once satisfied, he turned to J'zargo and gave a small nod before leaving the room.

Kharjo stood, deflated and unsure; his eyes locked on the place the Arch-Mage had previously been standing. Slowly, he blinked his eyes back into focus and gazed down at Neri, watching her chest rise and fall in steady and even movements. He heard J'zargo clear his throat but ignored him and picked up a chair, setting it lightly next to the bed; he sat down and took Neri's hand in his own. Her hand was cool, but not nearly as bad as before. He lovingly stroked her fingers while he studied her face, looking for any sign of discomfort.

"Well," J'zargo said while rising from his seat, "you heard Savos Aren. She is in good hands here. J'zargo thinks it is time you go."

"I am not leaving her."

"On the contrary, J'zargo thinks you must. Neri will recover here, you can now leave. You are not a member of the college. J'zargo doubts you even have a magical fiber in your being."

Kharjo clamped down on the growl that was slowly building in his throat. If he rose to the challenge now, he very well might be thrown out of the college grounds. Instead, he remained silent, never taking his eyes off the woman before him and trying desperately to ignore the man in the corner.

"Very well. I will see to your removal."

He heard the steady footsteps of J'zargo leave the room but waited several minutes more to shut the door. There was no way to tell the time of day except to leave Neri's bedside, and that he wasn't willing to do. Remaining in his same location, he allowed his mind to wander and prayed that Neri would wake soon. Stroking her cheek, he let out a heavy sigh.

"I shouldn't have been such a fool. If only I had paid more attention to my surroundings. I thought I was protecting you. If our roles had been switched… well, I guess you wouldn't have made that mistake, but if you had, I would have pushed you out of the way. I would have gladly taken those darts if it meant that you would live. I don't know if you can hear me, but I am going to tell you something I should have said a long time ago. I love you, Neri. I don't know why it has taken me this long to tell you, but I love you."

He stared down at her, holding his breath, hoping she might stir.

Steady breathing.

He looked at her hand.

Her fingers lay limply in his hand.

Nothing.

"Stupid… It is wishful thinking that you can hear me. As if you would awake when I professed my love… like those stories we hear as children. Life is harsher than that. We don't always get what we want. With all my courage, I failed to be honest with you. I should have told you that night at the inn with Brynjolf. Of course, I fell in love with you long before that, but at least that damn Nord had given me an opportunity," he allowed a rough chuckle to escape him while shaking his head. "Why is it that everyone around us seems to know how I care for you, but you never seemed to see it? But, perhaps you did notice it, and you don't want it. Is that the case? Was that night in Riften just turning into a drunken mistake on your part? I don't want to accept that as my reality but perhaps it is true. I guess that is why you never acknowledged my affection for you. I am not worthy of you.

"I have made so many mistakes in my life. I thought I might actually be heading towards a future, a real future with you. I guess not. When you wake up, I won't hold you to your bargain. I'll leave. You were better off when I wasn't slowing you down. I'm so sorry."

Colette stood outside the door, staring a hole into the barrier, wishing she could see through it. She held her arms tightly at her sides to keep the tray of food she held from shaking. She had been there when the Khajiit warrior had blown up at them. There was such a rage within him. He had scared her almost to the point of her wanting to scurry from the room, but she was a better person than that. This had been her chance to show everyone at the college that restoration magic is highly valued; and besides, she liked the dragonborn.

Steeling herself for her entrance, she knocked on the door. There was a long moment before she knocked again. Still, no sound came. Taking a deep breath, she slowly pushed the door open, peeking her head in to find her fears were all for naught. Instead of finding a rage filled Khajiit male standing before her, roaring his anger, she saw him awkwardly leaning forward in his chair, his head resting on his forearm on the edge of the bed and his other hand with his fingers twined in Neri's. As Colette stood there looking at this once fearsome and terrifying man, she now found him filled with sorrow and longing.

Taking another large, silent breath, she cleared her throat while clutching the tray tightly. He jerked awake; his hand never leaving Neri's and eyed the newcomer.

"Yes?" he said.

"I came to check on Neri, and I brought you some food as well," she said raising the tray slightly.

Realizing there was no danger, Kharjo allowed his careful mask to fall and nodded to the woman, "Thank you, but I am not hungry."

She took a few steps closer and set the platter down on the table nearest him. "Are you sure? It has been two full days since you arrived and you have barely left her side. I know you have not eaten." He didn't answer right away but as her eyes fixed on him, she saw him twist awkwardly, trying to get the kink out of his back from the odd sleeping position. Whispering a small spell, she waved her hand and watched as realization dawned on him what she had done.

"Thank you, again." He glanced around the room then back at Neri, "Has it really been only a few days?"

Colette hadn't missed what he said. Of course it seems like longer to him, she thought absently. Pulling a seat up to the other side of the bed, she began her assessment of Neri's condition, occasionally sneaking glances at the Khajiit male. "You should eat. She wouldn't want you to lose your strength," she said idly. She heard him pick something off the tray and take a bite, allowing her to smile to herself.

"I'm sorry," he said abruptly. "I'm sorry for the other day. I was not myself. I shouldn't have snapped like that. You were all doing what you could."

She wasn't sure what it was, but this new side of him allowed her to feel more at ease. Giving a small shrug she continued her assessment, "I think I can understand. I had heard that Khajiits are very protective over their mates, both males and females. Still, I never expected to witness it firsthand."

"Neri and I," Kharjo started to say but his throat constricted on him.

The change in his voice prompted Colette to look up at him; he looked almost as if he were being strangled.

"She and I are not mates," he managed to whisper out.

"Oh," she breathed, her face flushing from embarrassment from the assumption.

"I never took the chance to tell her," Kharjo said after a long silence. "I worry I won't have the chance to either."

Placing her hands in her lap, the petite mage looked up at him, "You will have that chance. She is doing well. I can't say when she will awaken, but I can say that she will."

Relief flooded threw him and he gave a half-smile to the ceiling, "Thank you."

"We were never properly introduced. I'm Colette," she offered with a small smile. "I am a trainer in restoration, here at the college."

"I'm Kharjo, once the protector of Ahkari's caravan, now, follower of Neri. Though, I am not sure how much longer I will hold that place."

She studied him and wished that she could think of something, anything, to detract from the present situation, but there was only one topic that came to mind. "So, how did you and Neri meet?"

He gave a soft snort, thinking back on those long lost days. "I met her in her early days as a dragonborn. When I first saw her, she was fresh in her travels, barely even had dust on her boots. In the early days, I was convinced she would amount to nothing. I knew I had been wrong about her when I saw her kill a dragon before me. Thinking back on it, it wasn't long after that when I began to love her." His eyes continued to stay focused on Neri as silence filled the room; a smile curving at his lips for times long ago. Averting his gaze, he looked at Colette, "What about you?"

"The first time I saw her, she had just joined the college. I was passing through the room when the new students were practicing defense spells. Eventually, she started to do more and more things for the college and I bumped into her into the Arcanaeum, a library of sorts. I remember that I was upset that day. You see, a lot of the mages here look down on me because I prefer restoration. Everyone thinks it is more important to throw a fireball than to learn a healing spell that could save their life!" she practically yelled the last part and gave a sheepish smile. "Excuse me. I tend to get a little flustered about such things. Anyway, I had just received a particularly nasty note from a colleague and I was still fuming over it. She stopped to say hello and introduce herself and after we got to talking, I told her about my frustrations. I don't know what came over me to tell her all of the things that had been bothering me but I did. And I believe she found whoever had been sending me those notes because I stopped receiving them. Neri was truly kind to me.

"I always feel sorry for her when I hear what she has had to go through. All the dragon troubles have gotten to her, I am sure," Colette continued. "I didn't see her often after that but when I did… she was definitely more distant. I could see that her kindness was still there, but it was hidden under a hardened mask."

"Yes, the journey leading up to the confrontation with Alduin certainly changed her."

"She is still there though. I can feel it."

Kharjo didn't respond. He simply smiled and gave a small nod to the Breton.

They both sat in silence, neither of them moving nor feeling the need to say a word. Kharjo gave in and ate a little more food, giving a gentle smile to Colette. Hours passed as they sat and enjoyed the other's company while looking over Neri. The door slammed open, causing Colette to jump in her seat while Kharjo simply turned his head.

"Apologies, Colette. J'zargo did not mean to startle you," he stood in the doorway and turned his head to address Kharjo, his gaze suddenly dark. "You must leave," J'zargo said with a smirk.

"What are you talking about, J'zargo?" Colette demanded and jumped to her feet. "Kharjo has every right to be here."

"You know that I will not leave her," Kharjo said calmly.

"You have proved yourself unworthy. J'zargo shall care for Neri now. Others agree that you should leave since you are not of the college."

"Don't try to play that, mage," Kharjo said bitterly. "We both know what this is about."

Entering the room, J'zargo kept his hands folded behind him and stood over the warrior. "She doesn't need you. You are nothing. She shall be with me."

His teeth were grinding as a low growl began to sound from deep within his chest. He closed his eyes, hoping the nuisance would go away.

"I said leave!" J'zargo said and pulled Kharjo's chair away from the bed.

In a flash, Kharjo stood and grabbed J'zargo by his robes, pushing him into the wall; the force of the hit causing several items to shake. "I will not leave her," he growled.

Colette watched from the opposite side of the room, mouth agape, and heard others approaching the door, many clambering to see what the commotion was about. Both of the males' ears were flattened against their skulls, their teeth bared, and the loud rumble of growls hung in the air. Kharjo truly looked to be a deadly force and though she knew that J'zargo was a leveled mage, it didn't seem like he would last long in a close range fight. She knew that there would be no tearing these two apart. It was a tension she had noticed when they first arrived. "If you are going to fight, do it elsewhere!" she yelled.

Kharjo glanced over his shoulder, his features instantly softening when he saw Neri's passive face. He released J'zargo and motioned to the door, "Where to, mage?"

The crowd that had gathered at the doorway immediately parted for the two Khajiits. Colette watched them leave, Kharjo's body tense and ready for a fight. J'zargo turned to face the warrior, a confident sneer on his face.

"I don't think Neri would like us to fight, Kharjo. Perhaps we should reconsider our dispute."

Kharjo glared at the man, "I am not sure we ca–" but before he could finish a rush of cold flooded over him as J'zargo channeled his frostbite spell. Throwing his arm up over his face, and roaring his frustration, Kharjo shook off the ice crystals that had formed along his fur and looked forward again. J'zargo had disappeared but the other students pointed at his path.

Rushing after him, Kharjo barged through the door to the courtyard. J'zargo stood at the base of the statue, his hands alight with a fire spell. Lowering himself into a crouch, Kharjo hissed at the mage. J'zargo threw the firebolts at the warrior who barely managed to take cover behind a pillar.

"Why don't you use your claws like a real Khajiit!" Kharjo bellowed.

"I am, just in my own way," J'zargo laughed.

"Fine, do what you please. I will still rip your throat out!"

He could feel the pillar heating up as the flames licked around the edge at him. Once the jet of fire stopped, he dashed out from the side and charged J'zargo, taking a swipe and tearing a sleeve off. A light splatter of blood fell on the snow and the mage clutched at his arm. Conjuring an ice spike, he launched it at Kharjo but it narrowly missed the man's shoulder.

Taking another lunge at his foe, Kharjo tackled him to the ground. He punched and clawed at his target, but J'zargo was able to stave off the worst blows. A chorus of hisses and growls echoed in the courtyard, which was quickly filling up with spectators.

They wrestled in the snow, the cold and the dampness no longer registering in their minds. J'zargo was now above the warrior and managed to get a few of his own blows in. He placed his hand directly over Kharjo's face as a small orange glow began to start in his palm. Grabbing the man's wrists, Kharjo struggled to get the hands facing away from him just in time for the fire to melt the snow above his head.

Kneeing the mage in the side, Kharjo rolled on top and landed a strong fist into the man's jaw. The warrior's hands clasped around the mage's throat, efficiently arresting the airflow.

J'zargo struggled for breath, his hands prying at the stronger man's fingers. Taking a chance, he placed a hand on the warrior's arm and let a small shock spell travel through him. Kharjo jerked back, allowing J'zargo to gasp for air and kick the warrior off of himself.

They scrambled to their feet and squared off with one another, slowly beginning to circle. Kharjo knew that he had to get closer to the mage, he would lose if there was distance between them. A blue glow began to appear in J'zargo's hands and, with teeth bared, Kharjo rushed forward.

Just before J'zargo released the spell, he saw that Kharjo was still. Deciding to fire anyway, he found himself unable to move.

"That is enough!" a weak, but familiar, voice sounded.

When the spell faded, they stood up straight and looked in the direction the voice came.

Neri lowered her hand and clutched at the doorframe for support with Colette at her side. She slumped to the ground, the little energy she had, leaving her.