Ok, first up I'm really sorry about the delay – apart from being busy the past week, I just could not seem to get this chapter out! I'm still not 100 percent sure I'm happy with it but I just needed to post it before I edited it to death, so I can get a move on with the story!
ZanessaHugeFan – Yup, that song was Still There for Me by Corbin and V Love that song!
Brucas224 – Hate to disappoint, but Gabi is a long way from better, despite the fact she has felt well in the last couple of chapters...
And I swear there was something else important I had to say in this A/N but whatevs, I forget now! So I hope you all enjoy the chapter even if it is a bit ... I dunno, choppy-changey...
Shoutouts to Jess because she needs mucho cheering up right now, and to Emily who is busy driving across the countryside and whose company on MSN I miss heaps already! And who I send crazy texts to when I'm bored hehe ;)
Thanks for all the reviews everyone!
Oh, PS. During the Mackenzie scenes in this chapter, try to imagine her talking like Bailey when she's in hospital in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, but a little worse. If you have never seen that movie, the scene is on YouTube! If anyone wants the link to the right clip, PM me!
Charli xox
Chapter 25
Three days after Christmas, Gabriella had undergone her pre-chemo Bone Marrow Aspiration and Lumbar Puncture before being admitted to the ward for her next round of chemotherapy. The following morning, Dr Zamitt came to see her, with the wonderful news that her bone marrow was finally clear of cancer – the chemo was continuing to do its job, working to eradicate her body of the disease that plagued it. This would be her fourth round of treatment and when it was over she would be enduring three more, before a course of radiation therapy.
As soon as she found out about her bone marrow results, Gabriella was out of bed, pushing her IV along with a huge smile on her face, knocking on the door of room 2-01.
"Hey," she said with a smile. "How you doing?"
Mackenzie lifted a fragile hand and pulled the oxygen mask off her mouth slowly. Every movement caused a ripple of white-hot pain to shoot through her body, but there was no way she was going to let that show.
"Hey," she wheezed, an awful rattling sound evident with every painful breath. "What's new?" Mackenzie patted the space on the bed next to her, and Gabriella pulled her IV pole with her, setting it next to Mackenzie's before hitching up her bathrobe and climbing onto the bed next to her friend.
"My bone marrow's clear."
"That's amazing," Mackenzie's voice was barely audible, but her happiness for her friend was evident in her eyes.
"Mmhmm," Gabriella agreed. "Once I'm done with this round of chemo, and you're back on your feet we will definitely have to go out and celebrate."
"Mmm," Mackenzie forced a weak smile. "Can we...go...to Cold Stone?" she asked, continuing to struggle for breath.
"You know it," Gabriella laughed. "Hey, where's your mom?"
"With D...Dr...Zamitt. Grown up...talk, you kn...know."
"Yeah," Gabriella replied quietly, lying down on her back, her head next to Mackenzie's.
"Gabs?"
"Uh huh?"
"What do you reckon is out there?"
Gabriella's forehead crinkled a little. "What do you mean, Kenz?"
"L...like...out there...b...bigger than us..."
"Like, God and stuff?"
"Mmm..."
"I think He's up there somewhere. I like to think He's guiding me through each day, especially when things get tough. I'm a big believer in angels. I think that everyone has their own angel...some sort of higher power that gives you light and helps you to find yourself even when no one else can see you. I imagine them all high above us in a beautiful place where everything is white and glistening, and there's the sound of singing everywhere. What about you? What do you think?"
"Th...there's magic up...up there. In the stars. The way th...they shine, like...like they kn...know the answers to all our questions. I th...think when you wish upon a st...star, an angel h...hears and s...sends your star to earth and your w...wish is granted. L...like a...a miracle."
"I love watching the stars. My Dad once told me that when you lose someone you love, they become the brightest star in the sky, and they shine just for you. Whenever I miss him I find the brightest star and I know he's right by my side."
"Gabs?"
"Mmm?"
"What do you think it feels like to...to die?"
"Kenz, where did that come from?" Gabriella asked, a little unsettled. Mackenzie laughed softly, her chest heaving.
"I've been w...watching too much daytime TV," she joked and Gabriella grinned.
"You and your Soapies!"
Mackenzie smiled before letting her head roll to the side so she was looking at Gabriella.
"Gabs?"
"Yeah?"
"Promise me something."
Gabriella laughed nervously. "Depends what! Anyway, what's with all the deep and meaningful's today?"
"Please Gabs, it...it's important that no matter wh...what, you never lose hope...n...never lose sight of y...your dreams. You have the world at your f...feet, Gabi. F...follow your heart and you can change the w...world. Oh and hold o...onto that boyfriend of yours. You've g...got a good one there, Gabs...h...he'll never let you down."
Gabriella nodded. "I know he won't. But you're forgetting about you – what about you Kenz? You should never lose hope either. You can achieve whatever you believe in, I know it. You're gonna make it big one day, Kenz, and you'd better not forget me when you do," she grinned.
"I could n...never forget you, Gabs. Y...you're the best friend I've e...ever had. N...no matter where we are o...or how far a...apart, we'll always b...be close by in h...here..." Mackenzie struggled as she took Gabriella's hand and held it to her heart. "Y...you're the sister I never had, G...Gabi."
Just then Maria appeared at the door. "Gabi honey, you have a visitor."
"Oh, ok Mom. I'll be right there," Gabriella replied, climbing down of Mackenzie's bed. She leaned down and gave her friend a hug. "I start chemo tonight, but I'll come back and see you in a few days," she promised.
"B...bye, Gabs. Thanks f...for being such a g...great friend."
With one last smile, Gabriella turned and wheeled her IV pole back towards her room.
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
"Taylor!" Gabriella exclaimed as she reached her bed and found her best friend sitting on it.
"Hey girl," Taylor replied, hugging Gabriella. "Thought I'd come hang out for a while. Your mom said you don't start chemo till later tonight, so I can stay and keep you occupied for a while if you like."
"That sounds great!" Gabriella grinned happily.
"I know we haven't exactly had the chance lately to hang out like we used to...but you're never far from my thoughts. Or Chad's thoughts. Or Ryan's thoughts. I'd say right now you're even pretty high up on the list in Shar's mind," Taylor joked and Gabriella laughed. "So, what do you feel like doing? I see you've got Uno cards, or we can watch telly, or just gossip..."
"Actually...why don't you come for a walk with me? There are a few people I'd like you to meet."
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
Gabriella squealed with laughter as she on the base of her IV stand, Taylor pushing her down the hall. 'Pole Surfing' as it had been coined, was something she'd learnt off some of the other kids on the ward – it gave everyone a good laugh and could be quite an efficient mode of transport.
Gabriella had lost so much weight since diagnosis, it was no effort at all for Taylor to push her along. They reached the end of the corridor in a flurry of giggles and hung a left into the play room.
"Aha! Just the people I was looking for!" Gabriella exclaimed triumphantly, spotting Peyton, Cody and Parker sitting around a table at the far end of the room. She had seen their names chalked up on the inpatient board when she was admitted, and had been looking forward to seeing them again. She hadn't seen Cody or Parker for weeks and was happy to see they were continuing to do well on their treatment protocol.
"Hey Gabster!" Parker exclaimed. "What's been happening?"
"Nothing much, just lying low and trying to stay away from germs," she laughed. "What about you guys? How long are you in for?"
"Urgh," Cody groaned. "I should have been home two weeks ago, but my stupid counts are too low. Hopefully they will bounce back soon, because I don't know how many more G-shots I can handle before I poke my own eyes out."
Gabriella smiled sympathetically and patted his back. GSCF shots - or 'G-shots' as the kids called them - were given directly into the muscle of the upper thigh to help boost white cell counts if they were continuously low after chemo. They hurt like hell, and often left large black bruises. Gabriella dreaded her counts dropping, and always kept her fingers crossed that they would bounce back on their own without GCSF. The worst part was, when her ANC (Absolute Neutrophil Count – a measure of white cells and the body's infections fighting ability) got to a high enough level to be discharged from hospital, she would still have to continue the shots at home until it was back to a level considered 'normal'. This meant that Maria had to give them to her and Gabriella could recall countless nights where the two of them were on the lounge in tears as the shot was administered – Gabriella because she was in pain and Maria because she hated being the one to hurt her daughter.
"Well, I'm being discharged tomorrow and after that I only have one more round of chemo to go! My scans are clean and my bloods are good – I can't believe the finish line is in sight!" Parker exclaimed happily.
"That's great news!" Gabriella squealed, hugging him. "What about you Pey? How you been doin?"
Peyton shrugged. "Not so good. But things are starting to look up, so fingers crossed everything works out."
"I hope so too," Gabriella said sincerely. "Hey guys, this is my best friend Taylor. Tay, this is Peyton, Cody and Parker."
"Nice to meet you all," Taylor smiled as they greeted her.
"Ok," Cody clapped his hands together before shuffling the packet of playing cards that were on the table. "Why don't you two take a seat, and we'll show Taylor here how to play Go Fish the CK way."
Gabriella giggled. "Oh yeah, it's on!"
"CK?" Taylor whispered in Gabriella's ear, a little worried.
"Yep," she grinned. "Chemo Kids do it better!"
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
"Gabi, I know you don't feel well, but you really need to try and get these pills down honey," Maria said desperately. Gabriella had thrown up the last three medicine cups of tablets and was onto her fourth attempt. This round of chemo had really kicked her butt and she had felt rotten for the past four days, despite the copious amounts of anti-nausea drugs she had been given.
It was 8pm New Years Eve and Troy had been with them for most of the day, comforting Gabriella through her pain and nausea, and keeping Maria company while Gabriella slept.
"I can't do it, Mom," Gabriella cried, both Troy and Maria's hearts breaking at her distress. "I want to, so bad...but I just can't keep them down.
"Ok, it's ok sweetheart," Maria soothed, stroking her daughter's pale cheek. "I will go and talk to Kirsten and see if we can get any of this in liquid form to take in the morning, will that be easier?"
"I'll try," Gabriella replied sadly and Maria kissed her forehead before leaving the room.
"Oh babe," Troy said softly, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe her tears. "Here, let me try something."
Helping Gabriella to sit up and lean forward, Troy climbed onto the bed behind her, pulling her back into his chest and wrapping his arms around her, her head resting back on his shoulder. Lifting her pyjama top a little, Troy rubbed slow, gentle circles on Gabriella's stomach in an attempt to relax her.
"How does that feel?"
"Mmm," Gabriella murmured, closing her eyes. Troy kissed the top of her head as his hands continued to sooth her stomach.
"You know," he whispered in her ear. "We met exactly one year ago tonight."
A small smile flickered across Gabriella's otherwise ashen face, her eyes remaining closed. "And what a year it's been, huh?"
Troy grinned and kissed her on the head again. "I still remember the very moment I laid eyes on you," he told her. "I was so confused about what was going on with the whole karaoke thing I didn't take notice of who was on the stage with me at first, apart from a quick glance. I even went to leave the stage! But then I heard you sing and turned back...that's when I really saw you. My God. I still have no idea how I finished the song."
"Funny how the MC said one day we might thank him for making us sing together. And 'Start of Something New' too..." Gabriella giggled softly.
"I know, I know," Troy sighed dramatically. "It's like something out of a cheesy Disney movie."
"My favourite kind," Gabriella replied. "Hey, maybe one day they will make a movie about us. Zac Efron could play you!"
"Gabriella Montez, for the last time...!" Gabriella laughed along with Troy's protest, but stopped abruptly as she felt the wooziness return. "Hey, just lay your head back again, it's alright," he soothed as he gently pulled her head back onto his shoulder.
"I'm pretty lucky, I'd say," she said sleepily. "Not many girls have boyfriends who would hold the basin for her while she throws up, then let her use him as a pillow even though she knows she stinks like vomit."
"Yeah, well...I like vomit."
"Troy, that's gross."
"Well, I can't think of any way I'd rather ring in the New Year than being with you. Vomit and all. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Gabriella," Troy told her. "I think I would pretty much...gnaw off my own fingers if it made you happy."
"Well you definitely won't ever have to go that far," Gabriella replied, closing her eyes once more.
Troy smiled to himself. "What can I do to help right now?"
Gabriella nuzzled her head sleepily into his neck. "Just hold my hand and tell me everything will be ok."
Troy kissed her cheek as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Everything will be ok, Brie. Everything will be ok."
And that was how - just a few short hours later – they welcomed the New Year. Maria only half watching the fireworks on TV, the volume switched off and three plastic syringes of various medications sitting on the tray next to the bed - ready for Gabriella when she woke up, Gabriella fast asleep in Troy's arms while life saving poison flowed through her veins, and Troy cradling the love of his life, holding her hand whilst desperately praying for a better tomorrow, and a clean bill of health in the year ahead.
So, there it is! Here are a couple of medical term explanationsin case anyone is confused:
GCSF: Stands for a big long complicated term Granulocyte-Colony Stimulating Factor, which basically means 'drug which helps bone marrow make white cells faster'. The body's natural defence 'army' is the white cells. Chemo kills cancer cells but it also kills good cells, it can't differentiate between the two. When you are on chemo, your white counts can fall so low that the smallest infection like a cold or flu can be life threatening. GCSF helps the body produce white cells faster and more abundant in number than it usually would, therefore boosting infection fighting ability. The shots also hurt like heck.
ANC: Stands for Absolute Neutrophil Count. The ANC is a measure of the body's infection fighting ability. A normal ANC is anything from 1500 and above. An ANC of less than 1000 is given the name 'Neutropenia' and it is when you are Neutropenic that restrictions start to be placed, like no going out in crowds etc. An ANC less than 500 is considered severely Neutropenic and is when complications like fevers can become dangerous and require hospitalisation. It is not unusual for a cancer patients ANC to fall to zero a few days after a chemo session. The numbers can bounce back themselves after a few days but sometimes require a little boost, like GCSF shots.
Pole Surfing: Yes, kids actually do this up and down the hospital corridors. It isn't unusual to hear a cancer-parent say 'hop on' and their kid will climb onto the base of the IV pole and have their parent push them around that way. Sometimes it is convenient because their legs are aching from treatment or they are too tired to walk. Sometimes...it's just fun!
Please review I love lovelove hearing from you! You are all awesome :) Next Up: Ice-cream cravings and a devastatingphone call.
Charli xox