chapter 25
The Republic fleet found relief at an outpost close to the Eye of Heaven ––– the name of the double helix nebula that lay close to the Syleeto system. The ShadowFalcon and the Umbra had landed safely in the hangar bay of the Republic's Hope, and Adriaan now anxiously awaited the Victory to land. The small assault cruiser had been the one that had pulled Kan's dying ship into the bay, and according to Marya, who was aboard the same cruiser, he was doing well. Adriaan had spoken to him via comlink, and he had told her everything: the destruction of Zylxx, the treachery of the ZOOM, the death of Na'thin and Hyrax…and the mysterious man Kestrel that had kidnapped her Apprentice.
Kay Lee had been immediately transferred to the emergency room on board. The medical droid had pronounced her to be emaciated, but unharmed otherwise. Apparently, the CIS had kept her more for ransom than as a way to siphon Republic data. So she had gotten off lucky by only being subjected to a light interrogation.
"So…this is it." Adriaan jumped; she had not noticed Klamin's appearance by her side.
"What is it? This is only the beginning," Adriaan said, confused at his tone of voice.
"It is? I mean…of course it is," Klamin said. "You're the Commander of an awesome legion now, and you've just gotten your own Padawan Clan, so you're right, it is just the beginning."
Adriaan looked at him curiously. "Why are you acting so strange? Was there something you wanted to ask me?"
He hesitated. "Actually, it's not so much asking as it is telling you that I…"
Ember marched up and saluted smartly. "Fleet has landed in respective positions; requesting permission to disembark."
"Oh…yes, permission granted," Adriaan said, turning away from Klamin.
"The 503rd would be very honored to have their Commander march out ahead of them," Ember suggested respectfully.
"I would be glad to, Ember ––– tell the others to look sharp, since this is a public spectacle ––– we don't want our legion to be the shame of the Republic army," Adriaan said.
"Yes, ma'am." Ember snapped to attention and moved off to alert his legion of their departure.
"I like Ember; he's really got the stuff that makes a great general," Adriaan said, throwing on her black cape and gesturing for Klamin to do the same. "I'm sorry, Padawan ––– you'll have to tell me later ––– for as you can see, I have my duties."
"Yes, I can see that. You always have your duty to do…that is your problem," Klamin said, almost inaudibly, but Adriaan still heard what he said.
At that moment, something softened inside her, and she wanted to let down her guard and just tell him, there and now, what her feelings were. She very nearly did, but the hard core of her Jedi training, as always, prevented her from speaking out.
No, Adriaan. Your duty comes first, before anything or anyone else. Don't let your personal feelings get in the way.
"Please, excuse me," she told Klamin, and she swirled around, feeling the pleasure of her cloak snapped majestically about her ankles. She strode with a queen-like grace down the ramp of the Republic's Hope, savoring the rhythmic pounding of the clone's feet right behind her.
Every single military protocol fled from her mind, however, when she caught sight of a certain figure standing in the middle of the landing platform. Though he looked a lot more muscular and much taller than she remembered, she could never forget his face.
"Hey, Kan!" she shouted, quickening her pace. Suddenly she was passed by a red and white blur as Jordin ran down the ramp and threw herself into Kan's arms.
"Kan! Oh, Kan I am so glad to see you I was so worried with you out in Mid-Rim territory did you know that me and my former Master was stationed in the Rishi Maze it was so exciting but scary I hated it oh goodness Adriaan told me about the Wicked Club being fellow Apprentices that must be quite terrible have they changed at all –––"
"No, GOOD," Aedan said, running up with the rest of his cohorts. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the other Padawans behind Adriaan. "Who are those GOODS?"
"WICKED!" Heatrian screamed, rudely pushing the clones out of his way as he ran down the ramp with his arms full of the hologames he had promised to bring. "It is I, WICKED Heatrian, bringing your WICKED games that you requested!"
"Whoopee!" Andre screamed, grabbing Laserball Pros and hugging it to his chest. "Thanks, WICKED!"
"You were right about your room, WICKED," Heatrian said to Aedan. "It was definitely WMPD."
"What is the significance of the moniker WMPD?" Andora asked curiously.
"WICKEDLY Messy and Potentially Dangerous," Aedan said importantly.
"Are you telling me that Aedan actually has a room?!" Kay Lee appeared, supported by Klamin. She hobbled toward the group. "He hasn't destroyed it yet?"
Aedan shrugged. "Not yet. Anyway, I have to have a room to keep my WICKED miniature rancor because when he's not in a WICKEDLY contained space he goes –––"
Kay Lee held up a hand as Klamin gently eased her onto an overturned crate. "Just never mind. I honestly don't want to know."
"Your loss," Minir muttered.
"You don't look too bad for almost getting killed in a space battle," Kan said, freeing himself from Jordin's suffocating embrace long enough to look at Kay. "How did you manage?"
"I think Urak had a hand in it," Kay Lee said. "The CIS found me in an escape pod with him. He must've gone out into the asteroid field to look for me." She shook her head sadly. "He was the one they picked on in the interrogation chamber…he didn't last long."
"Luckless, ill-starred Urak," Andora said. "He was such a virtuous man. It is such a misfortune that we had to lose so many irreproachable fighters."
"Who cares about stupid dead GOODS?" Aedan sniffed. "What about my WICKED snack-snatcher?!"
"I'm sure you'll soon find a replacement snack-snatcher, though no one will ever replace Na'thin in our hearts," Adriaan said, but everyone was talking too loudly for anyone to hear her.
"You guys talk funny," Nic said, staring at the boys curiously. "I like funny guys."
Jahn Pal stopped sucking on his thumb long enough to shout, "Hey, we're not funny! Right, Sai'wer?"
"Huh? What?" Sai'wer sat up suddenly, his eyes wide with fright. "Three rights make a left!"
Everyone burst into fits of laughter.
Everyone, that is, except Adriaan, their Master.
Adriaan was not jealous that everyone was getting along nicely; she was happy about that. She was not angry that no one was listening to her, either, because she could not really recall a time when anyone ever listened to her. To them, she was just part of the background, someone that they should respect, but never allow into their circle. At least the clones didn't treat her that way; they treated her like she was actually something.
Kay Lee didn't even thank me for saving her life. And Kan never apologized for being disrespectful. And Klamin…something's up with Klamin. He's not telling me everything, and that's not fair, because I stuck my neck out for him. I deserve to know.
She slipped out of the group, unnoticed, and stomped angrily over the edge of the platform, tuning out the laughter and joy behind her. Let them have their fun; they weren't going to go anywhere in life. But she was, because she was the only one who didn't have people standing in the way of her destiny.
She looked up at the sky. The suns were setting, and the sky lit up with a flaming orange color that took her breath away. High above her, the Eye of Heaven glowed, looking at her with its piercing gaze. If someone had eyes like that, she thought, he or she would be the most beautiful creature in the galaxy.
She unfolded her arms, and immediately felt her feelings being released inside her, and she didn't feel angry anymore. She had been overreacting, which was wrong. She was too old to be doing that anymore. She had told herself that she had not been jealous, but she had been lying. She had been jealous, because the Padawans had something she would never have.
A childhood, and someone to care for them. People that loved them.
If Adriaan had not been a Jedi, perhaps she would have known someone that had loved her, but she had no memory of her parents. Certainly they would have loved even such a terrible being as herself.
Her Master had not loved her. Her Master had used her, and she had suffered greatly. Because of what had happened to her in her past life, she would probably never be able to love anyone, even someone that loved her back. There were too many barriers inside her heart.
But if that was true, why did she care about Klamin? And Kan? And Kay Lee? If she cared, didn't that mean that she loved them, too?
Then, once again, Adriaan felt Klamin's tall shadow fall over her as he stepped to her side.
"Adriaan…"
She held up a hand to silence him. The quietness that followed was unbearably awkward. She could tell that Klamin was gearing up to tell her something that he felt was important, and she had no desire of listening to his meaningless babble. He felt that he was too old to have a Master/Apprentice relationship with her, yet she knew that that was what it would always have to be. She could never think of Klamin as anything else but that. It hurt him, but what else could she do? Together, yet apart, they faced the suns setting below the shining brightness of the Eye of Heaven.
Klamin turned and beckoned to the others. "Group hug!" he shouted.
The Varactyl Clan laughed and came running toward them, and the next thing Adriaan knew, she had her arms full of greasy Aedan and flea-ridden Kien, with Kan's head pushed against her ribs. Nic and Andre had clambered onto Klamin's back and were pulling Adriaan's hair, and Minir and Marya were sort of pulled into the group by Jordin's quick and eager hands.
Andora stood slightly apart from the rest, shaking her head in disgust. She turned as Rez strode up and saluted, eyebrows raised quizzically. "What is this?" he asked.
Andora looked at him and shrugged. "Pray do not observe such a heinous, appalling exhibition," she answered. "Such an abominable manifestation of devotion is objectionable behavior for members of our Order to display."