Epilogue
Part One
Barriss leaned against a pillar outside the Council Room, letting her hands lightly caress the cool stone. She finally had a moment to breathe, after enduring an intense debriefing session with Republic Intelligence, followed by an equally taxing meeting with the Jedi Council. She had been hurriedly filing reports and approving data transfers all morning, and had not even had time to sleep or have a meal since arriving at Coruscant last night.
It was all part of the normal rigmarole that followed any mission, and it wasn't new to her in any way – she had often handled these more mundane tasks for her Master after a mission. It was not in her to complain, but she had to admit it was a taxing experience, with little reward.
The soft tapping sound of boots on the polished floor alerted her to Master Undulli's approach. Barriss quickly stood and turned to face her Master, bowing respectfully as the elder Jedi stepped up to her. "Padawan," Luminara spoke with a smile. "You look weary."
Barriss nodded. "Yes Master. It's been a trying past several days."
"Indeed." Luminara motioned for Barriss to come with her, and the younger Jedi quickly fell in step with her Master. "You did well, Barriss," she spoke softly, still looking ahead of her.
"Thank you, Master. But Ahsoka really deserves as much credit or more than I."
The Master smiled again. "That is most noble of you, Padawan. I'm sure both of you would say the same of the other. Come," she motioned towards a nearby turbolift. "I will get you some dinner in our room."
"Thank you Master."
Ahsoka had to resist rolling her eyes as she heard her Master's footsteps echo down the hallway. He was running, of course. Come on, Skyguy – I'm just standing here. No need to chase me.
"Ahsoka!" Anakin's voice was just a little more urgent than necessary.
"Yes, Master?" she answered sweetly.
Anakin stood in front of his Padawan, a little out of breath. "I can't believe the Council let you go on that mission." He shook his head. "Mustafar is dangerous, that's no place for someone like you."
He was about to say more when Ahsoka cut him off. "Master, you took me there in the first place; this wasn't much worse than that."
"Wasn't much worse?" Anakin responded incredulously. "Ahsoka, you fell into a lava flow! You were almost burned alive!"
I guess the big bacta patch over my stomach doesn't help my point. "But I brought along a brave Captain to look out for me," Ahsoka retorted, a little too smugly, crossing her arms to try to conceal the large bandage. She knew her Master was quite fond of Rex, and the Captain was one of the few people to whom he would entrust his Padawan. "See? I know when I need a little help, I'm not that 'arrogant'," she lowered her tone at the last word, in a very unsuccessful attempt to mimic her Master's voice.
Anakin seemed oblivious to the attempt, and continued. "Ahsoka you can't count on there always being someone around to rescue you. Some places are just too dangerous for someone your age. Ventress-"
"She crashed the party!" Ahsoka interrupted, a little annoyed. "Nobody knew she was going to be there - I can't just hide out because the harpy might pop out somewhere!"
"But it was your idea to lead that squad! That could have been suicide!"
"Somebody had to do it! I did what needed to be done, just like you always do!"
Anakin was growing more frustrated. "Snips, I'm a Knight, and I'm your Master, and I just don't want you getting killed out there!"
"Well, Master, I'm more likely to die riding a starship with you than anywhere else!"
"I'm not that bad!"
The banter had at this point risen in volume enough to attract a few glances from others in the vicinity, some exasperated, others amused. Several Council members were passing by on the other side of the hall. Obi-Wan Kenobi had been quietly conversing with Master Mace Windu when he noticed the bickering pair, and he subtly approached them, his Koran colleague pausing as well.
Anakin patience was wearing thin. "Snips, I left you here to continue your study - I can't have you disappearing on dangerous missions every time I go."
"But the Council decided it was okay!" Ahsoka responded, growing more excited. "I didn't even say anything! Ask Master Kenobi," she motioned behind Anakin, who started as his former Master laid a hand on his shoulder.
"You've taught her well, I see," Obi-Wan commented amusedly
"Obi-Wan," Anakin recognized his fellow Knight with a frown. "Why did you go along with this?"
"We received a recommendation from a trusted source," the bearded Master replied. "In truth, had I known that sweetheart Ventress was going to be present I might have gone myself, but it was not to be." He stepped abreast of his former Padawan. "But for all that, you did do a most excellent job, Ahsoka." He smiled kindly.
Ahsoka felt herself beaming at the compliment, then freezing over rather awkwardly, trying to assume a more contrite 'humble padawan' pose as the stern faced Master Windu drew near their little circle.
"The mission was a success, then," Luminara commented as she returned from disposing of the meal tray.
"Yes, Master," Barriss answered plainly. Her Master had been present during the Council's debriefing, and so knew very well the outcome of their endeavor. It had been a success, if a costly one. She was thankful that the majority of the loss had been in material rather than lives, but even that was a loss, and one that would hinder future efforts. She had assumed full responsibility for the destruction of the ship and the other equipment, though the Chancellor had kindly interceded on her behalf, reminding the Intelligence officers that there was little the Commander could have done to thwart the natural events of a planet like Mustafar.
She only hoped that the data obtained would be worth the expense. The orbital scans were quickly absorbed into both the Republic databanks and Jedi Archive, so there was at least something tangible accomplished. Republic Intelligence had taken possession of the station network contents, though the Chancellor assured her that any useful information would be swiftly passed on to the Council. Barriss felt uneasy at this – whatever the Chancellor's good intentions might be, the political intrigue surrounding Republic Intelligence would likely mean that much of the information would become mere ammunition for the political backbiting that was rife within 500 Republica.
Luminara seemed to recognize her concern. "Barriss, there's little value in fretting over what cannot be changed," she spoke with only a tinge of reproach, entering the small living space with another tray.
"Yes, Master," Barriss answered, with a quiet sigh. "I just fear that more of our efforts are being expended with little to show for it." She leaned back into the stiff couch, placing her hands on her knees.
"I understand, Padawan. But it is not for is to concern ourselves with such things." Luminara took a seat opposite her apprentice. "We do our duty, and that must suffice us." The Master set the tray on the desk at her side, then handed a small mug to Barriss, who accepted it.
"Thank you, Master." She rested the warm teacup on her knees, letting one hand hover over the steaming brew, till drops of condensation began clinging to her palm. The gentle heat, comforting as it was, brought back fearsome memories. Approaching the death match between Ahsoka and Ventress. Looking over the cliff edge, gazing into what she believed was her friend's grave. Her tears, mingled with sweat, vaporizing as they streamed from her cheeks. The burning wreckage of the assassin's ship, flames leaping skyward behind her, vividly symbolizing the fiery passion and rage in her bleeding heart.
She couldn't help a small shudder.
Luminara regarded her intently. "Something else is troubling you, my Padawan."
Barriss froze for a second, before bowing her head, placing one hand over her eyes, trying to sort out her thoughts.
In reality, she hadn't told the Council, or her Master, everything that had transpired during their fateful mission. Some crucial details regarding Ahsoka's fall, her later rescue, and the interim, had been cleanly omitted. Barriss had already felt misgivings about withholding these more painful facts from her Master, her sole confidant for most of her life.
Luminara waited for her, a kind but firm look on her face. Barriss knew her Master would be able to discern if she was concealing something from her.
Nothing between a Master and an apprentice. She couldn't hide it forever - it would only make matters worse. But Barriss had a sinking feeling that sharing this knowledge would be a costly affair. She respected and trusted Master Undulli, but she knew all too well that the elder Jedi would not tolerate her close relationship with Ahsoka - certainly not if she knew what Barriss had done when she believed her fellow Padawan had perished. It would be a classroom example of the dangers of attachment. It would confirm every fear the Order had.
But she couldn't hide it. Barriss was not one to shy from the truth, and she knew she would never lie about what had happened. Her Master would find out one day, and it might as well happen sooner rather than later.
She sat up straight, raising her eyes to meet her Luminara's. "Yes, Master," she answered quietly. "There is more, more than what I presented to the Council."
Luminara nodded understandingly, waiting for her to go on. Barriss took a deep breath, before beginning.
The two older Jedi respectfully turned to face the famed Master. Windu nodded in acknowledgment, then turned to look down at Ahsoka. She felt like she would be melted under his piercing gaze, and it seemed like he stared at her for hours, though it was probably only a couple seconds.
Finally he spoke. "I'm with Skywalker on this one," he stated flatly, his deep voice echoing through the hall. "That mission was not for a young Padawan, if indeed any Padawan at all."
Ahsoka swallowed nervously. This conversation has taken a turn for the worst. She avoided her Master's gaze, certain she'd find an all too satisfied smile bending his lips.
The Koran Master continued. "With that said, young one, you handled yourself extraordinarily well. Better than I expected, I admit."
Ahsoka's eyes widened at his words, spoken solemnly as ever, yet with an almost tangible note of warmth. Windu placed a firm hand on her shoulder, and she had to resist wincing at his cold touch. Well, everybody feels cold to me, I guess.
"Master Yoda is quite right," he stated flatly. "You will make a fine Jedi one day." He removed his hand, and Ahsoka thought his eyes appeared to be smiling, even as his mouth held its perpetual impassiveness.
Humbled yet honored, Ahsoka gave a much smaller smile in return. "Thank you, Master Windu." He nodded again, then motioned to Obi-Wan to continue on their way, leaving Anakin and Ahsoka standing in awkward silence.
Finally Anakin broke the peace with a sigh. "Well, I guess you did do a good job, Snips. I just wish you... I don't know."
"I'll take that as a compliment, then. Thank you, Master," she responded, with only a hint of irony in her voice.
Anakin grimaced, but before he could respond Ahsoka continued, her tone taking on a penitent note. "Master, I know we argue like this a lot, but... well, when I thought I might not be coming back," she frowned, wringing her hands rapidly. "I mean, I missed you. Even though it was only for a while, but I did, and I'm sorry I keep making you worried." She hung her head slightly. It never comes out right, no matter how hard I try.
To her surprise, her Master's demeanor softened. "Thanks Snips, and I'm sorry if I make you feel incapable or..." he trailed off, searching for a word.
"Stupid?" Ahsoka offered.
"Reckless," Anakin stated firmly.
"I thought I am reckless!"
"No... well, you are, sometimes, but..."
"Gotta go!" Ahsoka announced, deciding to break off the conversation while they still weren't yelling at each other. I keep trying to make things better, but they always end up like this.
Anakin frowned. "Where are you going?"
She turned back to face him. "I told Rex I'd come by to see him after debriefing. He's still on leave, got it?" She shot him a warning glance, recalling how often the clones' 'leave' was abruptly shortened by another urgent sortie.
Anakin shrugged. "Hey, it's not my fault if the Council sends us on another mission."
"Us, right?"
The young Knight smirked. "By us, I mean me and 501st. You, my Padawan, have some studying to catch up on."
Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "You're impossible."
"Just doing my job as a good Master," he called out in response as she made her way down the hall. "And be sure to be back in time for meditation."
"Yes, Master," she called back dryly.
Barriss bowed her head, her hand shielding her eyes from her Master's gaze. For the third time she had been forced to recount the entire, painful story of what had really happened on Mustafar. It seemed to be harder each time, and all the more so now - Master Undulli would not be nearly as understanding as Captain Rex or Ahsoka. That was not to say her Master would not be sympathetic, but Luminara was well known to be one of the most devoted Jedi in the Order. Not one rule or guideline went unheeded, and certainly not one so notorious as that of attachment.
Luminara sat in silence, her expression unreadable, but Barriss knew the knowledge of her failure would be difficult even for her Master to take in. Not only the brush with her own darkness, but the childish attachment she had formed, and with someone she had only known for a matter of days, that had - at least superficially - resulted in her fall. Barriss had long since outgrown the age where such an basic violation could be brushed off as mere youthful imprudence. Luminara had gone to great lengths to instill in her the importance of detachment, even between Barriss and herself. And while her Master would commend her for her actions at that terrible decision point, Barriss's subsequent failure would only serve to confirm the danger of her friendship with Ahsoka.
Barriss awaited her Master's response with quiet dread, mingled with resignation.
Finally Luminara looked back at her, and Barriss submissively raised her head to meet her Master's gaze. "You have been through much for one so young, my Padawan." Her voice was kind, though tired. Barriss nodded slowly, in silent trepidation of her Master's decision.
She sighed. "I don't believe I need to instruct you again on the dangers of your decisions in this matter."
Barriss knew exactly what was meant by 'this matter'; she hung her head, answering quietly, "No Master."
Luminara remained silent for a moment, before suddenly rising from her chair, approaching her apprentice and taking a seat beside her on the small sofa. Barriss shifted and turned in her seat to face her Master.
"Barriss, you know where the Council and I stand on these matters," Luminara began. "Attachments such as these will most assuredly weaken your resolve, and you will find it more difficult to resist temptations, as you have already discovered."
Barriss remained silent. She knew exactly what her Master believed, and understood the logic and pragmatism of the Order's rules. She had abided by them faithfully for most of her life, following the example of Master Undulli. She was known as a model Padawan, honoring every instruction and guideline the Council approved, even those that many Masters neglected to keep. Her commitment and devotion to the Order was unquestionable, and she had been commended by the Council several times for her service, accepting all praise with the self-abasement and humility befitting of a Jedi.
Now, she had essentially violated one of the most notorious rules of the Order.
To the outsider, it would appear so harmless, and so innocent - just a simple friendship, between two equals. Surely there was no danger in that?
No, Barriss knew full well how much danger there could be, in allowing herself to grow attached to her fellow Padawan. She had experienced it herself first hand - the pain and sorrow were one thing, but the danger was in the fear - the fear of loss, which was well known as the first step on the traitorous path to the Dark side. Fear, anger, hate, suffering - the formula was well worn within her head from nearly two decades of repetition. She needed no reminder; she had taken that dark path herself, and knew full well how terrible the price could be.
But still she stood, firm and unshaken, in the knowledge that it was her attachment that had brought her back from that darkness. It was the knowledge and memory of her friend, delivered unwittingly by a sworn enemy, that had broken the shroud of rage that had blinded her, and led her back to the Light. Yes, there was danger, there was pain, in allowing oneself to feel so strongly, to leave oneself vulnerable to her friends, and to whatever may befall them. But she knew, that no matter what the cost, that friendship, that attachment, was worth it all and more. She had not made her decision lightly - and she would not regret it now.
Her Master easily sensed her determination. She sighed again. "Padawan, you know very well what I would have you to do." She paused, laying a hand on Barriss's shoulder. "I have only forbidden you from ties such as these for your own good, and I know that you understand that."
Barriss didn't meet her gaze this time, answering almost in a whisper. "Yes Master."
Luminara gazed sadly at her apprentice, feeling the dread and sorrow welling within her. She knew her Padawan would do whatever she was told to do; that with a word, the Master could sever this dangerous bond that was forming between her and Padawan Tano. Barriss knew it too.
The Master spoke again. "Barriss, I sense your resolve, and it is strong. You are certainly aware of the dangers you are risking." Luminara paused, then continued, "I will not interfere, my Padawan. You must do what you believe is right."
Barriss raised her head, eyes widened at her Master's words. Is she really saying that? "Master?" she answered questioningly.
Master Undulli smiled sadly. "I will not make judgment here, Barriss. You must follow your own heart in this matter. I have faith in you, that you will continue to do what is right." She removed her hand, turning to gaze on the opposite wall. "Every Jedi must choose their own path, in time. I will not always be there to guide you." She continued to regard the blank surface.
Barriss stared as well, startled by her Master's words. She had always supposed Luminara would continue to direct every aspect of her life, until the day she was Knighted. To be given such an allowance was not at all what she expected. Such things were not to be taken lightly, not from one so exacting as Master Undulli.
The young Jedi sat in silence for a moment, considering her response. She knew that her Master would be disappointed if she were to disregard her concerns, and that weighed heavily upon her. But her Master, like Ahsoka, had also said that she must follow her heart, and of that Barriss was certain. She knew that this was right, despite the worries of the Order. And if her Master did not forbid her, she would keep her current course.
Again she turned to face Luminara. "Thank you, Master," she spoke softly.
No words could express the heartfelt gratitude behind that expression, but it was not necessary. The two Jedi knew each other well enough to understand the unspoken message. Luminara smiled at her young apprentice, before excusing herself. "I have an appointment with Master Kenobi and Master Windu this afternoon, and I must prepare." She stood, picking up the empty tea tray and turned towards the small kitchen. "Do not exert yourself overmuch, Barriss. You will need some time to recover your strength."
"Yes Master," Barriss answered crisply. She stood as well, stifling a yawn. "I believe I'd like to take a walk around the Temple – I've had quite enough of small spaces for some time." She glanced around the apartment, not much larger than their shipboard quarters, or the medbay where she had spent the journey back to Coruscant.
Luminara smiled. "Indeed."
Disclaimer: I own nothing in Star Wars. Uh, uh.
Author's Note: Okay, here's part on of the bonus chapter. It ended up being quite a bit longer than I expected (7k+ words), and I wasn't sure I wanted that long of a chapter at the end of the story (my chapters have gotten longer it seems as I've gone on). So I've divided it in half, each one containing a portion of "weightier" development and some more ligthearted stuff. So, this chapter is Barriss and Anakin/Ahsoka.
Coming up next, Deck's POV and some Rex/Ahsoka fun! Update either Friday or Saturday (depends on review response... so what are you waiting for? Please review!).
Enjoy!